We Are All Astrological Fashion Forecasters Now

Miles Aldridge

From Garage Magazine


There are whole companies dedicated to the pursuit of predicting trends. Big design houses can pay good money to be told by analysts what colours will be capturing the zeitgeist next season (and the customer’s eye); as well as what the most popular cut of shirt will be, what trouser hem will be de rigueur and what shape of shoe will be a la mode.


We at GARAGE wanted to do our own form of trend prediction, we wanted to look to the future without guessing, we wanted to truly predict the future and looked for the assistance of Charles Alderwick- noted Fortune Teller, to see what will be on the catwalks come February…. (for designer Christopher Kane)


“I’m looking at the cards and they are all under the influence of Saturn, Jupiter and the moon, which all share the same colours of purple, indigo, blue and aquamarine. Once again, I look at the cards and the 7 of Wands shows itself. This speaks of juggling various problems or commitments, perhaps this is telling of the theme; I feel a busyness to the collection, a hurried rushing.


As I peer into my crystal, a creature appears – I can see the face of a bee. Bees have been a symbol of order, teamwork and industriousness since ancient times. Perhaps a sign of hard work reaping rewards. Which is consistent with the other animal I spied in the crystal, a tortoise. This could mean the use of tortoise shell, honeycomb or pinstripes within the collection….


It goes on…What a GENIUS idea. I can see this as a skill that would be enhanced by sleeplessness and Blue Devil Hoochie Juice, can’t you?  Here is “our” first attempt…It’s “our” because i am going to need assistants and we want to make this 24-8.

thestarI just did it for next season Prada and got The Star in the Thoth deck.

So if we were talking to Miuccia Prada, we would be talking to her about lilac, pentagrams, the concept of Semper Fidelis, gazing into the pool of one’s past lives, Aquarius, next dimension portals, crystal matrix crap, pyramid shaped sunglasses that recharge our retinas and b.t.w. “Iris” is the Goddess of the Rainbow, the desire for whatever defies scrutiny, indigo as both hue and frequency, divine ratio designed t-shirts and yoga-wear all-the-fuqing-time. 

We would be on Space Dust and she would be looking out the window at her industrial estate in a snit, because she is a Taurus.

Anyway, who wants to work with me at Blue Devil Fashion Forecasting?

Image: Miles Aldridge

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60 thoughts on “We Are All Astrological Fashion Forecasters Now

  1. So would i be but after enough stimuli i can channel Schiaparelli herself. I see illuminati beach towels with the big eye on it and and an end to beige

  2. the trick would be to go a few seasons down the line maybe. Next season would already be in the bag…then again there are fashion genius industry types who read this blog who’d know better than I 😀

    • Exactly this! The fashion people are already 2-3 seasons ahead. Those frolicking women in bikinis were photographed in frigid March. Those heavy coat photos for winter were taken in summer.

      • But they are 1 year ahead designing! So they are photographing in summer ONE YEAR BEFORE and showing it to us one year later! What this means is that they are in REAL time and sloughing off the PAST to us as OUR PRESENT. Wormhole, totally. Gag me with an illuminati beach towels, let’s all wear togas!

      • They are doing 3-4 seasons at any one time…all the time…Even more so now everything is more demand driven, lean, less supply / inventory oriented, but more on line so less immediately tangible…more guesswork, more surreal, and change in service, as distribution processes evolves…there is more of a conscious effort to factor in environment from concept to customer, and this means generations ahead…

        • And really it is great that there are so many people who are their own fashion…

          • Capricorn pluto sextile Scorpio saturn trine Neptune Pisces…Business effort with real ethics to…Uranus in Aries changes in individuality…via Jupiter in Gemini…Internet, multi-media ingenuity…

  3. Hah!!! From my Pisces/ Aqua girl’s fav show- “Say Yes to the Dress”- Camo sash blinged up with satin and pearled lace wedding gown for haute country wedding- haystack chaises and four wheeler carriages! Her tween BFFs are bridal zombies ATM!

  4. Easy to predict. Whatever is the opposite to last season in colour, length shape etc.
    I’m looking for a uniform, still.
    Although just had a craving for beads, feathers, snake skin and leather
    (again). Pity coz just gave it all to Goodwill!

    • I agree Pegs Sexy Legs,
      otherwise we would stick to wearing our last seasons clothes, and not hand over our cash for this seasons colours (ie pastels one year – ultra marine blue the next) … $$$$$ is what runs fashion.

      Sweet as pics Pegs, i had you pictured as a lush long haired brunette,but alas you are the blonde wonder ! xx

  5. Blue Devil Fashion Forecasting? yes please. I would love to see the mexican big skirt nd flowy look back.

    • On it!!! Currently curating my Mexico
      Wardrobe. Really. I’ve been doing this for years!!! Living in NYC but mooning on Mexico NONstop!

      Just manifested a mini blizzard of those beautiful skirts in all my current fave colors ….. And now a potential group jaunt to the border! Just a few days but…..the zap zone apparently zaps me out of the big city.

    • I have something a lot like this. Official vintage 1960s/70s. Thick black polyester/nylon velvet. Wide cream collar. Full length front zipper for cleavage-exposure adjustment. It’s in my collection of Things I Will Not Stop Loving.

  6. Who remembers the type man /serious art director – major influence of the 80s Neville Brody who defined The Face magazine…ID, but Interview was great…I still have a copy with Alannah Hill styling in it before she became a brand…alternative, industrial and eccentric…Dogs In Space…But really View is very good, and it is incredibly so much more contrived and pre-mediated more than any would believe…years before you even think you’d purcahse…

    • I loved The Face 80’s/90’s style and who can forget photographer Ray Petri ( Sting Ray) they created a cool world of beautiful boys with boxing gloves and zinc lipstick! Mixed races cultures and ideas of masculinity and beauty Nina Cherry dedicated “Man Child” to him….. Ah the Wild Bunch! So cool and soulful!

      • Did you like Visage at all? Steve Strange…A bit pop but still alternative…Maybe Richard Sharah styled their look? Makeup whole look extraordinary, post Zandra / Bowie…Great clubs, fashion and culture!

  7. love it!
    black leather, blue velvet…
    emerald green and coral are in again this year. yes, purple and blue would be next!

  8. excellent!! i am going today to buy absinthe for the eclipse…i think it may work for this purpose too. :) gawd i love this idea. so badass.

  9. Wow, Zap Zone fashion! :)
    Postmodern in it’s distrust of ideologies, drawing attention to conventions – but Neo Aquarian/Piscean too.

    Colours include Neptunian cyan, Arian reds, Uranian aquamarine, Saturn grey & whites with Scorpio basic blacks.

    Textures include concrete, feathers & talons/nails. Pluto in Capricorn provides earth as sand.

    The Animal Tarot gives themes of Zap Zone:
    Uranus in Aries manifest as the Cardinal & the wolverine symbolic of self assurance, destiny & bridging the material & spiritual.

    Saturn in Scorpio the Raven & the Panther, magic shape-shifting,
    Banksy, Bats, the night gives birth to the dawn.

    Would love to assist in this line of work… Gem Rising’s gotta be on my resume. 😉

  10. i don’t need no stinkin’ tarot to fashion forecast! (still luv u tarot) Born this way! Jupiter in 2nd House of Cap! Seriously this is my super power. I can predict most trends before they spring up. I only buy items that i can consign for MORE than i bought them for. It’s sort of a hobby for me. Also clothing design. Have made some small fortunes doing this. I find runes and divinatory geomancy work best if you are going to use something because both give you shapes and silhouettes.

    I love the Star tarot card. Gorgeous!

    • Well then you gotta fess up! What’s gonna be hot? And not?

      love to hear your thoughts!

      • Here’s where I’m betting: some of the weirder 90’s stuff we’ve forgotten about: matte gold jewelery finishes, new variations of velvet choker collars, A-line dress & skirt shapes, and that weird shade of dusty pink-mauve. Rounded toe shoes and square tip shoes will not make a reappearance for at least 5-10 yrs more, but they will come back eventually…but it’s too recent to bring them back. Pointy toes will rule for the time being, but I am betting the extreme pointy toes are done for now…maybe…. I also suspect hem lines will be at the extremes soon: really short minis with maxis being popular. They tried so hard to sell people on the mid-length skirts but it was a hard sell. I’m not sure why the public didn’t like those.

        There’s still going to be some 80’s influence, but skinny jeans and leggings are either going to phase out really soon or else reburst on the scene in a different format. No one could have guessed they were going to get old so fast. :( But still the 80’s nipped waist shape will be popular for some time to come. There is some interest in the east in deconstructed, wrinkly, wrapped, baggy, and pegged pants shapes in neutrals, but i don’t know if that influence will come to the U.S. or not. These tried to come to the U.S. via Boy George and some avant garde artists in the 80’s but were not well recieved then. It’s anybody’s guess now. Shirt tail hems will continue to drop for now. strapless tops and dresses.

        even with global warming, fur both real and faux will still be in next winter-ish times. Luxury wool is making a large come-back after favouring synthetics for so long. Even though many people hated the poncho, cloaks and capes will continue to enchant.

        • Love yr take! I have too many past lives wearing stockings & boots, the leggings are staying regardless of the fashion, :-) . Plus Runes for shapes is awesome what’s the form div Geomancy takes?

          • Stockings and boots will be in for some time to come. I’m not sure if they ever go out of style where i live locally either. For that same reason boot cut jeans are still popular here. too many boot wearers for it not to be.

            Leggings will still be used for layering. I meant the leggings as pants.

            For geomancy, check these:

  11. Bees. My legs buzz 24/8. When I think “tortoise,” I feel bone. You know, the shell and all.

    What’s the pay like for this gig? Nothing personal, it’s just that my days of giving sans compensation left when the Zap Zone dropped.

  12. Its best to leave the fashion-intuitious to the watery fellows this year, especially with the astro coming in this summer

    • Couldn’t agree more with you. With my newly purchased Tarot – it was all water driven with the exception being the blessing.
      Just arrived home got from an ANZAC Day Dawn Service. To all service persons all over the world past and present, and to your families thank you and we will remember them…Lest we forget.

      • Agreed! Here’s to peace and freedom worldwide and the people who sacrifice so everything for it

  13. Well.. I have been looking for a reasonabl fashion consultant lately.. ugh! I just have no patience for looking.. I set my own fad.. I always have! But my fashion concept is changing so I need to find what I am thinking. Any Taurus computer smarts want to design a website to search for specific clothes, with price, size color and store that has it available? Wouldn’t that be cool?

  14. I took a textile class years ago that said most designers follow supply – meaning textile producers decide years in advance what the colors of the year will be so supply can get lined up prior to design. Of course, designers don’t have to follow this, but it mucks up production. Takes awhile for something new to make its way down the food chain. I usually start wanting something years before it available in my price range.

    • This is true too, but there are still a lot of places that will do textiles on demand now.

  15. In! In! I just bought Eiffel Tower earrings. I’m just going to wear one. Either I have the awesomest fashion predicting or ya’ll need to intervention me pronto.

  16. I think 70s punk for winter… think Sex Pistols and Vivienne Westwood, tartan (again). Just bought myself an Anarchy in the UK tshirt online. Lots of knitted/crocheted jumpers/wraps. Head kicker boots.

    Ripped tights, red, purple, acid lime green, fluoro pink. God save the Queen!! Punk hair colours!

      • Lolz! Get ’em out of the cupboard Pegs!

        I’ve been listening to a lot of 70s music and rediscovered Sex Pistols. Loved the 70s in Australia, it was a great decade… Skyhooks, Suzi Quatro, AC/DC, Rod Stewart, the Angels etc.

  17. Can confirm latest colour for your bridesmaids and Bon Bons is Cadbury purple apparently stacks up against the science….

  18. WOW, I just started to write down my ideas for the current Prada short story writing competition. I’ve placed the protagonist wearing turtle shell round reading glasses.
    The Star is my astro card… it’s all about me!!! lol!!!
    However after watching a few minutes of their current season collection movie, all the models look like angry rakes dragging themselves along floorboards in stilettos. They all have wet hair. This season seems to be about thick woven fabrics, Dogstar hemlines and tunics meets 1950’s skirt suits, in natural colours with stripes. There was one that looked reminiscent of a bee.
    There might be something to this future prediction stuff.
    Where can I send my resume!

  19. I’m sorta honing my “strong flat colours” and pseudo goth (lots of black, red, tartan, fuq me boots etc) looks. I’m hoping I can trend this shiznit (again, revival)

  20. I came across this post because I am in fact the author of the original series of fashion predictions (well the Tarot reader who supplied ideas, not the writer).
    I was trying to track down the old posts.

    It’s so gratifying that this sparked so much discussion, I’m really pleased :)

    When I was approached to do it, I was very sceptical that this would ‘work’ as such. I didn’t think this is what divination was for, as Tarot seems usually to relate information about personal circumstances, and work best when there is some proximity to those involved. I’m not an especially confident scryer, either.

    BUT there were some striking parallels when the collections came out, to what I had said, and the images Garage mag’s illustrators produced. I seem to remember Proenza Schouler collection featured the blue sequin dresses I foresaw, with urban sporty Parka-style jackets.