You know it’s SO funny but i was going on about Neptune in the post below and my 84 days not drinking but last night i had the most amazing glass of Sauvignon Blanc. But it was brilliant. One glass – beautiful surroundings.
You see, I was clobbered by Neptune. I had had a meeting that went a.w.o.l. and then i felt psychically drawn into David Jones. That in itself was odd as it is a department store in Sydney i barely go to these days because i was having to hunt the staff down like I’m a starving lion and they’re wildebeest. But there i met Gary the Aries Fragrance Freak. In the basement. Neptune mugged me. Gary is an Aries fragrance freak of a certain age and working in the store as a genius sales assistant is his Zap Zone reinvention, apparently. He has intense product knowledge and a Gothic sensibility.
“Smell this,” he said. “This is Black Jade by Creed, the scent Marie Antoinette was wearing when she was apprehended.” Swiftly followed the last fragrance worn by Princess Diana, the parfum commissioned by Grace Kelly to seduce someone she would never name, Cary Grant’s favourite scent, a thunderous lecture on “blonde” scents versus those more suitable for “true brunettes” (it is hormonal) and the evils of the new Justin Bieber cologne.
“At least he’s not dead in a conspiracy theory,” sniffed my Gemini daughter.
Then Gary the Aries Fragrance Freak sent us off to his favourite Italian restaurant where they offered me a glass of complimentary ludicrously expensive wine, because i smelt so sensational. It wasn’t anything historic – it was Lady Vengeance by Juliette Has A Gun created by Romano Ricci, the grandson of the epic Nina Ricci and a former racing car driver, also an Aries.
If you are ever in Sydney and seeking a fresh scent fix with which to reinvent yourself, i highly recommend Gary the Aries Fragrance Freak – he is like seeing a shrink. I told him that i wore Fracas when i wanted a divorce and he said “Yes, yes that’s tuberose for you…” He presides over all the niche, real flowery, vintage and whacko beautiful fragrance there. I just sent off an email to the department store saying basically “i cannot believe you have done something genius for a change, it is like a parallel dimension of Awesome.”
Gary The Aries Fragrance Freak knows everything. They should set him up with a confessional booth or something. Oh and the Neptune thing – scent is insanely Neptunian – it’s surreal, it’s invisible but powerful. It can be terribly corrupted and synthetic or completely, utterly divine.