1) Your company requires you to attend a wilderness retreat involving a five-day horse trek across mountains. You have barely
ever ridden a horse. You…
(a) Decline. Your corporate performance is beyond reproach. You don’t need to take part in an endeavor so irrelevant to the job at hand.
(b) Agree, but book ahead to ensure that you are given a “safe mount” and schedule a series of horse-riding lessons as soon as possible.
(c) Agree, and opt for a stallion called Sauron (for experienced equestrians only) because you are not a wimp.
2) Your partner appears to be openly admiring a model in a magazine in front of you. You…
(a) Feel naturally insecure and ratty. This brings up issues relating to your own body image and sexuality.
(b) Point out to your partner that this photograph is not only a result of photoshopping and genetic freakery but evidence of a culture that is in decline, valuing aesthetic attributes over achievement.
(c) Strip down to your undies and then bellow, “Hey, baby, here is the real thing!”
3) At an art gallery you are invited to view an exhibition involving electric toasters, neon lights, and naked apes. Asked to comment, you…
(a) Feel out of your depth, admit as such, but reaffirm your feeling that true art has many avenues of expression.
(b) Rant on for a while about performative architecture and the-everyday-objects-school-of-installation art, without knowing anything
about it but sounding fantastic.
(c) Honk “What a load of crap. I could do this-what’s the money like?”
4) At a social event, you hear that a former lover is telling blatantly vile fibs about you and the relationship. You…
(a ) Instantly retaliate with a series of even more explosive revelations, true, false-whatever-to maximum effect.
(b) Explain that you’ve evolved to be in a really good space where you don’t play the blame game but that you’re sorry to hear that your ex harbors such bitterness.
(c) Rack your brain to remember the name of the person.
(5) You are about to pitch a huge deal to important clients. At the last minute, the computer crashes, your key point is suddenly
rendered no longer valid and your associate is busted for sleaze. You…
(a) Cancel the meeting for an inner-sanctum huddle because nothing can be done until the core rot is resolved.
(b) Book a hair appointment and suggest to the clients that they get to know you and the company ethos better over a boozy lunch to discuss the overall strategic vision.
(c) Say, “Just bring it.” This is a very big gig and you’re not paid to panic or opt out. You live for such competitive challenges. Fuq the computer. You are about to (somehow) turn it into a personal coup.
6) Your favorite celebrities are the ones who…
(a) Use their profile and wealth to help create a better world.
(b) Inspire you by having struggled to overcome adversity.
(c) Remind you of you.
If you picked mostly (c) congratulations, you are a bona fide Aries peep! If your answers were mostly (a) or (b) you could have significant other astro influences diluting your pure raw Ramzilla-ness.
Image: Alain Louis Soyez