Maybe You Just Don’t See Yourself The Way You Really Are…

Filed in Horoscopes

Inspirational ListThe Astro weirding gets weirder, if you can imagine that. Strange times require strange horoscopes.

People, the Weekly Horoscopes from March 9 are posted. Advising Sagittarians to play it incognito was a big ask, granted.

Listening to Audio Shaman’s Cityzen – it is perfect music for retrobats Mercury in Pisces on a Dark Moon. This thing is like sailing some surreal ocean of insight & flash nostalgia whilst all the time Saturn-Pluto goes off like some whacko workaholic inner dictator voice…with good intentions of course.

open book Alisteir Crowley

128 thoughts on “Maybe You Just Don’t See Yourself The Way You Really Are…

  1. Yes, I’ve been doing all-nighters for work purposes.

    I love the weekly scopes for next week and am very excited by the weirdness.

    I’ve started to get a glimpse of the transformation that I’d being doing this wee while, no freak-outs but I am watching Black Swan and tis strangely comforting for this astro (and me) right now.

    • Same here: the all-nighters for work, and definitely more comforted by darker entertainment! Light and fluffy not cutting it.

  2. I’m procrastinating intermittently, if you haven’t noticed.

    I agree. It might be the extreme lack of sleep or extreme social deprivation – I am feeling very strange. Part off-planet, part “push on”. I don’t think I am developing any neurochemical imbalances, and I am otherwise relatively normal (HA) so hey let’s blame some celestial bodies and astrophysics. Works for me..

  3. WOW.. this one will be a great thread. And Yes I don’t think I really see myself as I really am. I so want people to tell me how they see me! I see myself as very comfortable, nice, laughing etc with people when they ask me to join them but when I ask them.. it’s a totally different story. So, I sit and wonder “WTHeck”. What am I doing wrong. What do they see?

    Virgo Sun
    Libra Rising
    Leo Moon

    HELP!!!!!!

    • PS: I just started my new job and I don’t know if it’s gonna last. I sent my resume to a friend. I am scared! I am tired and scared! Booo!! ;(

      xo!!

      • Don’t be scared, Virgo Ellie!

        I can see you are smart (already you have sussed out the vibes and have made a Plan B) and you must be a lovely person who loves harmony because that place is not sitting right with you and no one gets scared for no reason!

        So I think you must be clever and fabulous and a gorgeous person!!

        xx

  4. everything comes from within which is what makes us destructive and equally thrilling to watch if we/i were a dance, silent film, skateboard artiste.

    that reminds me, does anyone remember mm’s post on the multi-leo skateboard artiste? so so cool

  5. that was a quote by the way, and no, i don’t agree 100% completely

  6. That there might be some disconnect between how I am feeling inside and what someone else is making of me is right on my mind now. Thanks for your reminder that this dilemma will not be well served by asking them!

    Was kinda hoping that the week ahead for Aquas was more like ‘you will feel great inside’, but I’ll take the money. Will be tuning in for any rocket launching on the 12th for my Aries Mars and rising. With big changes ahead, I need my Mars! It has been a melancholy week so far. I feel my wheels are spinning backwards.

    • Sorry, that was me. What has happened to the auto memory of the name? *sighs and adds to long list of merc retro disappearances*

  7. The mystery of self-perception! Those wake-up calls can be so pivotal.

    Eg my doctor gently explaining that others don’t fight so hard to keep their life in order, pay their taxes, do Saturn, it’s called ADD.

    I saw Silver Linings Playbook and I couldn’t help enjoying it. I see the humour in the dark so am not offended by a lighthearted romcom discussing mental health issues.

    And I do see my father -in-Law and myself in the characters.
    He is Saggi – 8th House – big mouth, NO filter (asperger’s).
    I am typical ADD Scorp Moon, Mercury chart ruler, yakkety yak, ‘I’m bored now, let’s talk about how your ex died’.
    I liked how it showed that some people are so overwhelmed by noise and intense emotions that they find it hard to control their responses, as I see that in my autie boy too.

    As for that “kick ass, take names’ versus ‘be gentler” idea.
    It’s really ironic, but the energy of love is repellent to the sour & irritable, to me the two thoughts are not incompatible (take names is a bit vengeful tho).

    • sometimes kicking ass IS about being gentle right? And being gentle helps you to work out which ones are not for you to be mingling with – gives you space to take a step back out of their way as they bombast onwards to their destination.

      • Soo true. Turn the other cheek is so profound, it is kicking ass energetically. Love bombing is extremely cushioning/protective.

        • ha! I love the idea of a love bomb – I work with a yeller and they are so startled when you don’t respond. I’ve found my inaction is usually followed by a short period of verbal silence but slamming of things around desk and then either a spate of being overly friendly with everyone in the room (as if it will give us amnesia) or a gush of garbled explanations for the yell – like the yelling is almost a really loud nervous twitch, I think of it as camouflage for his pain. So belligerent but easy to let flow over you. He WANTS you to respond but there is no fight. He’s been ON for the last few weeks and it’s been pretty crazy to watch. But it’s who he is so you just observe and let him be that guy. He’ll work it out eventually. That he’s behaving like a child. Makes no difference to me either way. He’s just someone I share space with. If it wasn’t me someone else would be there witnessing his pain.

  8. It seems like half the solar system has plonked itself down in my 10th house for a party. Plus Jupiter is conjunct my Ascendant, then when it moves off will be conjunct my Sun and Venus. Oh and it’s trine my MC sometime in May.

    Yes. Life is bats. Like BATS good bats … busy, opportunities, expansion, people, life, work, study. I literally have to force myself to have some downtime (which I’m finding annoying because I actually WANT to do everything on my agenda).

    Now I know what it must feel like to be a Saggo full time. Can’t bear whinging, whining, self pity or guilt trippers. Only interested in go-getters who get shit done. And don’t complain about it. Can’t be bothered fussing with hair and makeup – just throwing stuff on and running out the door. Sometimes forget to put on undies. Find myself laughing loudly at crass jokes and enjoying silliness. Constantly checking phone calendar to find out where I’m supposed to be next. Am exuberant but not altogether present.

    Such a nice break from being a Cancerian!!!

  9. I so agree with you – work stuff is going off; everything is good bats. With all these planets in pisces i’ve been feeling like i imagine a pisces is on any given day. I left work early the other day and went and had a tarot card reading which was sensational. I’ve been hanging on my own and hiding a bit – pisces.

  10. My Mars in Scorp + transiting my 1st house, mojo rising says, “Let your freak flag fly, people! To hell with the haters! Get with the astro, get Weird!”

    Now where did my North Node go?

    (It’s got to be around here somewhere…)

    • Hey , your back ! How’s the ankle ? how’s your little clone ?
      We’ve missed your awesome shit stirring big time Scorpy x
      How’s Saturn treating ya ?

  11. Another planet in my 12th Pisces house and my chart will ask permission to breathe – am swinging between coming unhinged privately and totes professional publicly, teetering on the brink until New Moon stamp on my ASC

  12. Everything in my 6th house right now, but the real action is transiting pluto squaring my mercury. I realized my pass-ag mars in libra comes off as all ag. I am reading a book on nonviolent communication and realizing I rarely ever say what my wants or needs or feelings are in a situation. It comes out as all analysis. I can connect to people’s feelings, like 10 lifetimes deep. Like defense, under defense, under defense, to core fals belief they can’t see. Its hard for me to just keep it on the level of the emotional wants in a situation. Its my childhood training – feelings are vulnerabilties. Even when I coach people, its to make them stronger, more immune to the pulls of feelings. Really problem for me as I have to flow.

    I had a dream last night that I was overlooking my living room which is a level down. I noticed the ceiling was cracked. There were pictures hanging on the bits that remained. And behind the ceiling was another one that was fully intact. So I realized I didn’t have to repair it. I just had to remove the false one. Then, my brother came in the back door and let a big dog in. The dog started barking and clawing at the wall like it was trying to get up to the ceiling. I told my brother he had to take the dog and leave.

    No one ever sees themselves. That’s what relationships are for, yes?

    • Also, thanks for the Thursday scopes – I feel like Virgo was just for me. Must remember health goals too!

    • Your dream: fully aware of your right to remove your ‘falsities’ yourself, and not have their removal aggressively forced on you.

      We see ourselves for what we are. Sometimes others do, but usually they see us through their own filters, and that may not always be as caring, as invested. Change occurs so much better when it is supported and not forced, by ourselves or anyone else.

      You’re 6th house Piscean. Feelings are vulnerabilities but i think that vulnerability acknowledged and allowed is a Piscean’s greatest strength. Flowing with what we are, not in black and white view but accepting of the shades and tones xx

      • Agree. Pisces rules my 7th. I can see soo deeply into others. It’s hard to let the walls down. For instance, talking to a woman at work who wanted to be close to me. I could feel her husband’s pain. He is sick and a large part of why has to do with her. Experiences like that, depth of feeling, make it hard to tell a joke. Not sure how to balance that better. But…I’m still alive so there’s time enough for that. xo

        • Fuq I did it again! What does that woman’s karma have to do with what I want/need? I’m totally mental.

        • he he it ‘seeps’ into everything…and, sorry to say it, but there’s a reason for that.

          compassion is a part of everything.

          and when are you going to give yourself some compassion? not tolerance, not relinquishing that laservision and highstandard virgoness in order to be someone who gets on with others, but actually respecting those qualities as rare and neither good nor bad but capable of being expressed in any form?

          the fact that you see her karma is connected to you. it doesn’t mean you have to do anything, or react to her especially. it just means you will be alert to that as a human condition, one that you will therefore actively try to avoid perpetuating yourself.

          you know i’m saying this because i find it hard to do myself, and i work with this myself on a daily basis. also because i love you. earthy virgos can be so hardened earth on themselves (i’ve seen it in my sis who cares deeply and lovingly for me in a crisis) and my Lilth (10th) and Pluto (11th) in Virgo want you to feel whole and shiny as Virgo Sun. You’re Mutable, you can morph your qualities’ expression.

          • In the dream I was looking at the ceiling before my brother and the dog came in. I was looking down at them. They were aggressive, but not really a threat. I kicked them out without resistance. I just need to clear away the broken bits of ceiling. Take the pictures down first.

            I have an interview tomorrow. I find myself expecting to go in there and be rejected and abused. That’s how the last place made me feel. I’m trying to imagine what it would be to go in there and tell them what I need. Tell them what I want and what I am worth. My solar plexus flinches at the thought.

            I know you do this to yourself too. In your own fashion digest yourself. Its a grotty habit ;-)

            • i like to wear a combo of red ginger oil and amber when i interview…not a lot. but the red ginger attracts money and the amber strengthens yellow self worth chakra.

              good luck!

            • They have seen you on paper and are giving you their time. Of course you’re gun shy. But fellow 12thouser, you can walk into that room and feel the intention immediately.

              It’s horrible that people who cannot deal with a unique soul must make that person feel damaged or worth less. But i know you can’t intellectualise away that feeling.

              I’m still exploring this, but my Aries acu told me this exercise. I look for immediate effects (Merc in Aries) but have to say overall it seems to be working, as long as i keep doing it.

              1. Place left hand over heart centre, and right hand over left.

              2. Close eyes and focus on third eye. Maintain that focus throughout.

              3. Breathe in in four ‘sniffs’, which can be silent or gentle or loud if you like.

              4. Pause for one second.

              5. Breathe out in four similar exhalations.

              She says optimum is 11 mins, but she said start with 3 mins, please, for first week.

              Digest yourself?!?! What an arresting image. Making me think!

              Darling, i so wish you well for the interview. I really do. I hope it’s the right place for you to be xx

              • I tried the breathing. Made me light headed. I learn by apprenticeship. Very hard for me to follow instructions.

                Digesting yourself is a Virgo thing. Sometimes I feel you feel your difference or oddity and I think its like stomach acid, churning yourself. Not bad. Not good. Eventually painful. I don’t think Pluto can really power mental. Mental is too conscious. But it may try perhaps. Is that all the Virgo you have? Your therapist sounds cool.

  13. This love zombie is getting a grip. And also just met a sweet feb 25 Pisces w mars Aries conjunct my sun mercury Venus. Just in time for the new moon and mars in Aries next week. Btw I’m waiting for my beautiful green spherical vase to be delivered!!! Love ya Mystic. You are way too right on for words.

  14. I got a new better-fitting pair of Vibrams (barefoot running) and I didn’t even know you could be so relaxed while running! I have extremely narrow feet and high arches so when I run in normal shoes I think I was stiff because I had barely any contact with the ground and was always trying to keep my balance (stiffness in core, shouders). I am starting to fall in love with running. What is happening?

    Doing the all-nighters for work too. Also into instrumental downtempo, ambient, idm at the moment…headphone commute is great and magical for writing.

    • I love those shoes. I have 3 pairs of them. I really like the Eco-tread wool ones. They are so toasty and non-stinky.
      But really, I like just not wearing shoes to run period.

    • natural running, that’s great, but it was hell on my calves the first time i did it, but I over did it out of the gates, needed to keep the rev limiter down. ease into it.

      • I know, my calves hurt too but they’re getting better. I remember the first day after I tried a pair of Vibrams I woke up and was like woah, my feet muscles feel like they got a workout! Totally alien sensation.

        I think it’s easy to overdo it in the beginning because (at least for me?) you can run further than before and it is surprising and so you want to keep pushing it!

        • Be a wee bit careful. I heard a story of a serious runner doing a long run in those things. When he took them off, the skin in between his toes peeled off with the shoes. Ew.

        • Exactly, I think that feeling of increased elasticity and buoyancy is because it is intuitive to lead with the ball of your foot not your heal. The cushy soles of running shoes are sorta backwards. Plus you get to work your core more and less strain on your pivot points. That being said, it can be rough on your feet if you have those vibrams on especially with sweat and funk alluding to what mitra said. Stay safe, form is paramount, and have fun.

    • Yeah, but how do we do this??

      An image i can never shake is Ms’ description of Sag Rising: like putting a box over a horse’s head with Not Here on it.

      • ez peasy mille my dear! Ever hear that expression that the best place to hide a dead body is to bury the body about 10 feet under a dead dog that is buried somewhat shallowly? err…maybe not…

        but just put a horse head mask on top of the horse head instead of the box. LOL! Nobody will ever think to look there!

        • Ah you’re spot on, Electric! It’s true, my best escapades are carried out in broad daylight, so to speak. If you get ‘em looking at you, noone suspects they’re not supposed to be looking at you! The best place to hide is in the spotlight.

          [Ahem, disclaimer: multi Sag Ascendant, Leo MC, 5th House Piscean Sun. For trained performers only. Don't try this at home!]

  15. Who can really tell if you see yourself clearly? I mean, humans tell themselves stories about events that unfolded that were unexpected and not desired so that they can cope with loss of control and save face. Delusion and self-deceit is subtly woven in our stories we tell ourselves and tell others.

  16. Feeling very nostalgic and down at the moment. Don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’ve eaten sugar 4 of the past 5 days after being on a sugar fast for several weeks. Have to get back on that wagon, because eating sugar just totally distorts my emotional experiences.

    Have felt so internal lately with this whole line-up of planets in Pisces and with Saturn opposing my Moon. Wish I could get to a state where I just felt carefree for a few hours and not wracked with self-doubt and guilt about all the changes I’m making in my life.

    • Maybe the self doubt and guilt are the first stages before grieving and letting go the old self?

      • Mille, I think you’ve hit on it directly. Underneath the doubt and guilt is grieving for something that may not have been ideal, but wasn’t horrible either, and above all was very, very familiar.

        Ah, having Taurus Moon and Taurus Rising. How we hate to let go of well-worn, comfortable things.

    • I too have been consuming sugar nonstop since last week, and starting this last sun/mon, is when I noticed that I was starting to feel mad depressed.

      Cut the sugar back out, and feel better now.

  17. Interesting , when I was younger I had long curls, permanent tan and I suppose that surfer look. People treated me like I was some sort of drop out ganga smoking fool. In my 20’s I buzzed my hair and started wearing long pants. Since then everyone thinks I’m a policeman of some sort. ? Teenagers straighten up when they walk past , people littering take one look at me and quickly pick up there shit and put it in a bin.
    It’s really funny because really I’m just that drop out Ganga smoking fool.
    Hmmm, maybe it’s the ray bans ?

    • It’s totally that Aries shining out, and aviators are perfect Aries wear…so Top Gun.

      Your Gem Rising must enjoy the trick hugely.

      • Top Gun! My daughter is Aries Gemini rising. I want to dress her up like a pirate every day.

        • Ha, the first time I had a past life reading the first life identified was a pirate in the Bermuda triangle .
          An extreme life apparently. The enforcer of a treacherous crew.
          Must admit tapping into that energy at times has really come in handy.

          • Interesting. I wonder if its a Aries/Gem rising thing. My daughter has a birth mark on her face that kind of looks like drops of blood. I know she was a force. Stil is :-)

      • Yes, my gem rising does enjoy the switching. Top Gun to Top Bum. X How are you beautiful Mille ?
        Trust all is working out with you.

    • that’s funny, I’m complete opposite. my younger self used to roll around with completely a buzzed head and rectangle shades, now have the long straight hair and retro shades. lol.

      • What’s your astro Gren ?
        You hipster you. Retro shades as in Jackie Onassis grave side ? Or John Lennon on the cover of Rolling Stone?

        • hmm, don’t think I have a style, plus it’s constantly changing and I don’t want to do hipster. i guess retro glasses as in wayfarers, it compliments the depp countanance haha. and to paraphrase pulp fiction, definately more elvis than beatles.

          astro, rising/asc cusps in early taurus, aries mars, venus taurus, moon in saggo. lots of planets in 1 and 12 house.

  18. So funny you should say that – my inner boss sprang onto her podium last night and gave me a thorough pasting for not being productive enough. This year i have both my children at school for the first time; but I seem to get less done than when I had one at home! Not enough structure, not enough discipline! But resistance to having either :). So, I sat down an meditated on it last night, and i got an image of me getting up early (like I normally do), but instead of switching on the computer, sitting on my meditation mat, lighting candles and incense – and just breathing. So I did that – and what i wanted to do next was do yoga. After I had done that I was in a completely different head space, and I have gotten so much more done today! Pisces flavoured saturn/pluto? I hear you :)

  19. Awhile back I contributed to a meme circulating around Twitter which asked you to summarise your life in 5 words. Some of my friends responded with their own, and their responses were interesting because how they saw their lives was so different to how I would described them.

    Once, for marketing purposes, I asked some key supporters for some adjectives to describe me just to check that I was pitching myself as authentically as possible. I was pleasantly surprised to receive the feedback I did! :)

    Perception is everything! :)

    • I like the five word sum – hmm mine would be do.not.give.up.ever. Speaking of memes, have you seen the courage wolf. hilarious and very saturn-pluto imo.

  20. does having no relationships at all count as a “toxic relationship”? The way I’m seeing it is that I’m ahead of the curve. You can’t be a love zombie if there is no one to LZ with. It is however shitty and lonely on weekends. i have to hide my presence on social media to make it look like i m “busy” then. i am actually busy working on work, but not with anyone. Ive started lying to people about having a long distance relationship just so well-meaning acquaintances will stop trying to hook me up with their loser leftovers. I tried the “nice” way explaining Im not interested at the moment and they keep getting pushier. i have started avoiding these people but i have to come out of hiding at some point. i feel claustrophobic.

    • I’m with you there. I don’t even have a job to relate to at the moment. They broke up with me. But not before the dude who hired me said he wanted to “fix me up.” Fix me?!? He’s all “do you have a boyfriend?” and I wanted to stay “Do you fuck your wife?” Why’s my sex life open to scrutiny because its not claimed by someone else? If I ever make up a fake sex life for others, I’m going to say I’m a part time pro domme. Fuq the haters. :-)

      • but don’t worry, you will find another job! a better one…

        oh thank goodness i don’t have to deal with this at work, i don’t see how i could fake that or 8hrs a day.

        but yeah! why is your personal life so damn important all of a sudden? its all so damn rude?

        anybody have tips on how to deal with this in an authentic and positive manner besides making up fake boyfriends, avoiding, or ditch all friends? cos im tired of this crap. ive been friends with these people for over 10-15 yrs so it s no casual thing to leave them. When i was partnered, it was great times but they only want to hang with other partnered people. in dec i tried to directly politely have a come to jesus talk and one friend’s solution was to stop sending me social invites. This shit never happened to me while i was under 30. wtf happens to people in their 40’s where thy start shunning single females?

        • I think that’s when the cat lady spinsters start their own club! ^__^

          My role model in this regard is Lauren Hutton; motorcycle-riding badass (still! at almost 70!) with style for days, could’ve had any man she wanted and never married.

          • actually i do have a group like that but it sort of wobbles as women get new boyfriends and stop going, but they tend to come back.

            i wish i was enthused about a lifetime of this crap but this not how i pictured my life when i was in my 20’s.

          • Yeah, single over here, and probably going to have to turn caretaker to aged parents at some point…but I ain’t chasing. I’m done with the LZ schtick.

            If no-one comes knocking, then motorcycle riding badassery it is. Lauren Hutton! Awesome! Thanks for the inspiration Rache.

        • Misery loves company. Maybe they’re jealous of the amount of choices you have at your disposal. Your freedom, your independence. Treasure it. Yeah, it can feel uber melba rye at times, but why be lonely in a group when you can have solitary all by yourself I say. I deal with it through crazy intense exertion activities climb climb climb, or now I’m periodization with insanity workouts or super focused zen hobbies piano fold paper.

          • i don’t think most of them are jealous. some are but most just want to help. if it was actually helpful i wouldn’t bitch.

            ive been doing activities for the past 8 yrs non stop with no let up. It’s like painkillers. it numbs the pain and makes life bearable but everyone knows it is a coverup.

              • lol., i want to be a drug addict but i cant. i dislike being ill or even taking aspirin. drugs have weird side effects or don’t work on me. .

            • Eel, are you able to relocate? Move to somewhere new, out of the blue, use the really positive wanderlust saggo energy?

              • no i can’t. i just bought a house. i also am my mother’s caretaker to fulfill a promise to my father.

                so really i can’t marry anyways unless she kicks the bucket, which i do not hope for seeing as how she is improving as a person each day.

        • It’s people settling into a groove and subconsciously reinforcing that they’re not in a rut but in a positive life choice, by making others feel the same about their choices.

          Rehearse what you’ll say, and sit them down when YOU choose to talk about it, not on their terms. Compare it to you offering them dietary advice when they haven’t asked, perhaps…what would they feel is the implication? Tell them that it is a choice not a quandary and you’d rather feel proud of your choice than ashamed.

          Otherwise, maybe it IS time to find new friends. Do you respect and love them? Do you enjoy being in their space or are you more afraid of being uninvited?

          My friends are from various age groups, from twenties to sixties, and noone treats me like that. Sometimes they ask about it, but they have to be able to listen to my answers. Once i remember saying, i don’t even know how to reply i have so many different feelings and ideas…watch this space! And we both grinned. And to another friend, i said, But what about you, hon? What makes you ask this? How’s your thing going? Are you OK? And it turned out she had some things to nut through, not problems, just feelings to sort.

          • i left this group temporarily from 2005 to 2010 because my ex bf tried to claim them so i didnt bother coming around. i had made new and younger friends in a different social circle but that ended in 2010 after i got rejected several times by different men and the people in that circle were trying to push me with this other guy i couldn’t stand. That guy is still trying to find me. ugh. He drives 300 mi from another city to hang in the middle of nowhere in hopes of running into me. a lawyer too. eye roll.
            anyways i had to abandon that group because i started feeling too old and got a cougar reputation. i started craving intelligent conversation with people my own age instead of pretending i was stupid. that is why i returned…. plus my exbf’s true colours shone so he stopped hanging with those people….

            i feel like i am running out of watering holes.

            • i think it’s a bad sign when a social circle is made up of all the same easily identifiable ‘types’ of people. Of course they’re going to have some things in common! But i think you know the distinction i’m making. I have friends who have their own friendship circles that are fairly homogenous – those friends i see on their own, though i’ll sometimes meet the circle. It just doesn’t interest me. I’d rather talk with a group of really interesting strangers. I think that’s another reason i’m fine non drinking – i can meet people in other settings, preferably where we are randomly united by a common activity or event. Bohemia or bust.

              • I’m an infp if you know meyers brig and a 4w5 if you do enneagrams. its hard enough for me to leave my books or music to go get social. i suck at making friends because i don’t like to talk to anyone. im not shy. theres a difference. so yeah i get into these moments where i think ill go do something different and get out of this hole….

                but no. the pain of talking to a stranger and finding out they have nothing in common with me is often worse than than being alone with a fave book and an imaginary boyfriend.

                • I like to do courses like over a weekend or once a week over 8 weeks, where you focus on a project or skill. You don’t have to engage in mindless small talk – you get to know people by how they get on with shit. You get to observe. There are heaps of introverts at these things. And they often form unspoken bonds – it’s nice. I go in expecting to learn something, not to break my loneliness. But you do meet people nonetheless.

                  i did m-b some years ago and i came out infj. I was a 4. Who knows what i’d be now.

                  • yes in chunks. i can handle almost any torture in chunks. plus it is good practice fr me to be social.

                • oh and also random journeys and trips. i take books and plan to be alone but i guess it’s that Moon Jupiter Neptune Rising – they talk to me anyway, and over time i’ve learned how to flick the attention back so they don’t keep eating my space, which happens easily to introverts.

                • I’m an INFP too!!!

                  “but no. the pain of talking to a stranger and finding out they have nothing in common with me is often worse than than being alone with a fave book and an imaginary boyfriend.” Pretty much. I really have to FORCE myself to hang out with strangers that have not already captured my interest beforehand.

        • I don’t know, eel. I have no relationships, remember? But, I deal with it by “fuck them.” Not working out too well because I suspect I will never have sex again. Honestly, I know the “we only hang with couples” law. Its unspoken and inpenetrable and has much more to do with the rule-makers being co-dependent gossipers comparing themselves against each other in the carefully constructed world they live than with any reality. A lone wolf is a threat. Its not a judgment so much, its like a scent. “This person could threaten our world view.” Being single does that. Because you don’t have to say “yeah, I know how it is” when someone describes how hard they work at compromising themselves. I must sound cynical. I am not. I just have heard and seen it from so many angles. Its not complicated. I still believe there are other lone wolves and that I will meet them one day if I don’t join some herd I don’t belong in by my own nature anyway.

          • what i don’t understand is why are the single men treated differently? they get invites all the time! i guess they’re not a threat or something?

            • seriously?? wow, it sounds like some ultra-conservative nightmare village. you poor thing. it’s not you, but sometimes you just can’t fight the pervasive culture of a place. it’s like this town: i’m sure there are nice men, i’ve met nice people, but i know i personally will not meet a partner in this town. can’t explain it fully, and i don’t want to run this place down, cos it is lovely in many ways, but hey cultural values just make me feel like i’m from the far off future. It’s an easygoing town with a lack of passion in its overall vibe which makes it friendly, relaxing and less dangerous. However it also lacks that questioning culture that allows attitudes to be seen for what they are, and the potential to develop those attitudes. Many people have told me it’s cliquey.

              • actually i live in a fairly liberal city. it is however right on my saturn line and makes shitty aspects to chiron.

          • Hmmm, my wife and I are exactly opposite. I have my friends she has hers. Most of them are single but some are coupled. We never go out with other couples, in fact we avoid it. Makes me squirm. I’m just waiting for them to bring out the fondue set or something. Or be left with ‘the men’ to discuss boring men shit. We spend heaps of time together as a couple, going out separately works well.

            • so if you and your wife are in different social circles, how did you guys meet? i hear that’s how it used to be in my parents and grandparents days. The men and women didn’t share any compatible hobbies or anything.

              • I had just come back to my home city after 10 years away. I was on my way home one afternoon and saw her as I drove past a local cafe. I stopped the car, parked illegally, walked up and sat next to her. A clear voice said to me in my right ear. Thats your wife matey, don’t fuq this up.
                I started up a conversation and voila !
                We were pregnant after 6 weeks, married soon after.
                That was 15 years ago. It happened the day Saturn had finally ended its 2 year sojourn over my sun. To the day.
                We have very different taste in activities and friends, though I like her friends a lot and do socialise with them. We just never seem to get it on with other couples. Not sure why ?
                Last summer while on holidays we bumped into a family of my sons friend from school. It turned into a family romance, the kids all paired up and the parents were cool. We of course said, hey, lets not make this just a summer romance, lets keep in contact….nope, anyway we will always have Jervis Bay and that full moon over the water. LOL

                • ah so there’s not really any good advice. It’s just a piece of shit that happens randomly to you that you can’t control or prepare for in any way. Good to know i guess.

            • Actually my long term partners and i never did the ‘couples’ thing either. It’s too weird and weird things happen. The only couples we knew were actually connected to individual friends so we were a big group of people, and never clung together on nights out. I always felt that couples who want to hang with couples were insecure and needed an audience to their coupledom, or hadn’t yet admitted to themselves that they’re swingers.

              • exactly Mille, not sure why but there is always some undertone of hidden agendas.
                Last week wifey went to a lesbian film festival with her tatt and piercings performance art crowd. I stayed at home with the kids and watched X men.

              • Lol David re the fondue set! Yeah, I didn’t know about this ‘couple rule’. (I am ENFJ & hub is E/I cusp NTP. But I am a 4 (siding 3) enneagram too – I am a most extroverted introvert in a way).
                Most of our friends are single, the ones who we both like we see heaps of.. In fact we have only one couple who we both adore. IF there was a preference either way, I would say my single girlfriends are better friends to me partly by virtue of the fact they have time for us! Love the meet-cute, ;) .

    • Ughhh I hate this. People are either all “you’re in the prime of your life!” or “you’re getting older!”. Holy cognitive dissonance.

      I just want to get my Awesome on so I get an Awesome person. Until then to hell with crappy random dating. Why bother?

      • exactly why bother on someone not worth my time? i feel you on that so hard!

        and yeah speaking of timeliness, my own mother said to me im too old to wear a bikini. she said no one wants to see my cellulite ridden 40 y.o. old ass.
        I said when i was in my 20’s you said i couldn’t wear a bikini because it was slutty looking! When was the *right*age to wear a bikini? must be some narrow window of 4 weeks between age 29 and 30?

        apparently there is no right time, so just do it when it feels right.

        • omg you should tell all those people – your mother included – to butt out! (pun intended :) )

          I didn’t wear bikinis in my young adulthood because I was too self conscious. Now I’m 20 years older and 20 years fatter and i couldn’t give a fuq. I wear them because I like to feel the water on my skin. I thank middle-aged European women for that!

          They can all take their heteronormative conformity and shove it!

          • my mother is victorian prudish cap. she used to make me wear underwear under my swimsuit as a child and shorts over my one piece suit. super embarrassing because i didnt know it was abnormal tower underwear under a swimsuit until i was 12 because no one told me. there was no internet back then.

            actually i don’t wear a bikini to be sexy. i like being able to pee without taking off my whole suit.

        • Hey my Ma so coldly and detachedly analysed the shit out of my body shape without overtly criticising it that i never wore bikinis either. It has literally taken me years to get over the shell shock of being complimented by people. I used to think they were being smarmy. Then i thought they had no taste. Then i thought they were pleasing themselves or wanted something, and that it revealed their shallowness. Now, i don’t get off on it, but i try to appreciate it for what it is. I taught myself to smile graciously and say thank you before i knew how to feel that.

          And i ONLY wear bikinis because they’re comfortable.

          Plus as a Sag Rising i’m surprised you haven’t back answered your mother before now!

          • well as sagg rising i actually prefer in the buff swimming…fuq this swimsuit crap! but yeah …2 piece is comfy and practical!

            when i was little no. i would never talk back. it meant beatings to the inch of my life. i ran away when i was 19 y.o.
            but she is starting to be a different person ever since dad died. shes like actually nice sometimes.

        • yeah except my bliss says “stay at home” .. “read books and listen to music”….”love your imaginary boyfriend”….

          lol!

  21. Do what thou wilt and harming none (including yourself). Plus whatever you do comes back to you threefold. (from my Wicca friends).

    • How is that neptune square Neptune going? I will have one in a couple of years!

  22. During this piscean period I’ve “realized” that I have all these innate piscean traits and I can only be happy if I’m expressing myself creatively, pursuing musician types with issues, etc. Also realized that working part time isn’t so bad and maybe its what I want. Not money but time with my dogs, relaxing. I’m assuming I won’t feel the same in a couple of weeks… I guess we’ll see! I have my moon in pisces though, so maybe its not too far off and it was an epiphany after all. This is who I used to be before I got graduate degree and jobs and tried to turn myself into a different but “better” self.

  23. I have a piece of time I am trying to shift. I don’t know where to share it for collective assistance but here. It suits the astro. Its a clear past life memory of being a girl on an island who is chosen to live on the mountain top in isolation. I get a special education and then kicked out of town. Eventually, I get really good at the job, but not before years of living like an animal on the brink of starvation with periodic abuse in the form of ritual. Eventually, I take over the rituals, make them my own, kick the priests of the island and get autonomy and even regional influence. I see her and her experiences both as an aspect of myself in time and a movie of someone else’s life. I see this woman who was strong and couragous but who no longer identifies as human. I’m certain she was a Capricorn. She felt denied her humanity by getting kicked out of town. Its a deep wound. Anyway, there is a moment in her life where she has had her children and done her work and has loyalty and respect around her. Her men ask her questions about politics and she could care less about anything but fertility on the mountain and things are running well there. That’s all her job is. She doesn’t care for more. She is sitting in this cave on the mountain looking down. And it is soooo hot up there. The beach is glimmering in the distance. The waves are soft and quiet. She imagines how they may sound up close. She imagines how the breeze would feel on her skin by the water. She lived by the water as a child and was happy and free. All she wants is to feel the water again. But she can’t get past her rejection. She chooses the myth instead. She refuses to go below the tree line which was the rule for her station. She retires an old crone on the mountain top. And I want to bring her down and let her go to the beach. No one will giver her permission to change the myth because now she’s the authority. I want to give her her humanity back again and encourage her to go for a swim. Then she could teach people to live free on their own accord and not according the a superstition about goddesses.

    Can anyone else picture that? She has to give up the reward of her abuse – being a myth, being beyond human – to heal the wound. How many of us live out that achetypal story in some form here? I spot the patterns and try to shift them for the collective where I can.

    Its an odd story or request or whatever. But I have shifted time before. This one is sticky. We should all go for a swim today. :-)

  24. I pictured it. She cries the whole way down the moutain. She walks through the town hurried-composed and people stand back. On the beach, the men stay back respectfully. She sits near the water smile-crying. Eventually, young boys approach her with flowers and honey cakes. And getting honey cakes again makes her cry-smile even more.

    Maybe just putting it out there was enough. xo

    • That’s great, I totally get it!
      So you visualised her doing the trip to the beach rather than ‘remembered’ it? Though to re-member is another way of saying visualise and in another time-line that may now have happened.
      I do like the re-membering of her through her aquatic needs as a way of healing and bringing wholeness to her personally. And to the people generally, her healing being their way of integrating the Goddess into the tapestry of their lives – not just as the attic/mountain top consciouness.

      If you haven’t read it, you SO would enjoy B. Hand-Clow on her past lives as she often functions as medium for healing of the society in her role as priest etc., she mentions stories very similar in mythical theme, it’s genius.
      http://www.amazon.com/The-Mind-Chronicles-Visionary-Guide/dp/1591430666/ref=pd_sim_b_7

      Nice one!

      • I knew if anyone would get that, it would be you, andromeda!

        I don’t remember it that way. I remember her on the mountain. But I try to give strength to an alternate probability by imagining out her return to the beach. The more I visualize it, the stronger it becomes. And it helps me find my own purpose. I have NN in third house Sagittarius. I have to find a way to bring myself down the mountain too.

        Will check out the book. blessings.

        • It’s a really complex book, you will enjoy it I think.
          If you are interested in a handy way to ‘mine’ past life recollections, I use a book here: The Alchemy of Crystals.

          http://www.global-healing.com/books.html

          (There is also Spirit Guide, if you would like some free affirmations, it’s simple but good).