Getting Your Mars On Without Getting Arrested

Filed in Macho Mars

Julie Newmar

Hello Mars-Trippers -as always the most directional advice is to be found in the Horoscopes/Daily Mystic but hey, let’s share here how are all intend to get our Mars on this next ten days (because we kind of have to) without getting arrested, going crazy insomniac fuq off irritable for the duration.

Obviously Mars on Uranus, square Pluto and opposite a regular bitch of a Full Moon has to have an outlet. So what do we want here? Momentum or some toxic brew of cortisol, bat venom and our jaw thrown out from clenching it. I’m upping my exercise, initiating power sleep protocol & doing a massive mugwort smudge/unclutter shortly after the Equinox is exact.

Speaking of exercise, my Aries Pilates Instructor has some thoughts i would like to share f.y.i. I think you will agree that they are of a caliber beyond what one can read in that ‘get off yo fat arse carb-head’ that you can read in the lifestyle sections of mainsteam newspapers.

* “Shitting properly is the most important thing you can do for your health. German scientists have linked incomplete elimination to mental illness.”

* “Nearly everyone in The Shire* is on duromine or clenbuterol, hard body, size whatever you want but soft brained.”

* “You have to properly work the psoas muscle if you don’t want to have a gunt when you get older.”


* The Shire is a region of Sydney, Australia. If anyone has any international equivalents to enlighten U..S.A. & Euro peeps, please share.

AND i am unable to answer emails till Thursday but i will get to them all then – thank you for your patience in advance.

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102 thoughts on “Getting Your Mars On Without Getting Arrested

    • Kind of. but yes in terms of macho but there is alot more money in the shire than essex

      I don’t think essex has an exact equiv anywhere xx

          • Libragirl, the Shire is perceived as a brash sort of place by some, but people from the Shire are definitely proud of their neighbourhood. Good beaches and community feeling. I don’t know much about Essex

    • You can get one by having oestrogen dominance and/or a under active thyroid. A hormone specialist/scientist in this field told me recently. Hard to treat also. People who have this may very active & eat a balanced diet will still be prone to it. So all the fat people haters be informed!!

        • Thanks savannah… Its so important that people don’t just ridicule and ostracise overweight people…. I have weight and a lot more on my lower abdomen than I’d like, I excercise an hour a day and eat clean and lean and sometimes even mean, and I still have weight…. I think sex would help it to go away, need to contract the muscles in the area….

          • No worries. I’m really sick to death of fat hating there’s reasons and valid ones. I mean a lot of medications make you gain weight. Hullo most anti depressants!!

        • doesn’t help with all the growth hormones they pump into food and the amount of women on the pill in the water we recycle for drinking

          • Cortisol is a big factor, which is produced in abundance & not processed well by the body under stress. Plus post-menopausal women are prone to more belly fat as testosterone levels drop (same as men w/ low-T levels).

    • Gunt, common vernacular country of origin -‘Australia’ referring to the porch sized belly which obscures the sight of ones Vagina..
      A gut that hangs over a cunt G /ut c /UNT gives you GUNT..
      a pleasantly horrific Onomatopoeia me thinks

  1. I’m completely unhinged already – excessive chocolate and coffee is not a good response to the current astro, even if chocolate is in the form of a vegan protein bar. Aries is my 10th house, & I have natal Saturn there – joy. My proposed strategy is super human effort at work, and hardcore vinyasa plus meditation.

    • I’m doing the hard core Joshi acid detox… Making the body alkaline and all that. It’s actually not too hard at all… The first few days off coffee was tough, but now I’m starting to feel fantastic!!

      BTW.. I played a lot with the Oracle and it kept telling me that I had a “date with some superfoods”… so fuqing right that oracle. Embracing the lifestyle change! Go team Aries!

    • I was fine for the past three weeks — but for the past two days, I’ve been unable to stop shoveling carbs, fat and sweets into my face. And plagued by odd melancholy.

      No PMS coming. Nothing serious in my life that I can imagine triggering this … so I just chalk it up to my Mars in Capricorn doing something weird.

      Definitely back on the eating right and ass-kicking workout bandwagon tomorrow.

  2. Maybe its the time to go hard with everything and sleep when you’re dead – hard at work, sleep, rest, hardcore saturn steadyness. Not the time for moderation just now.

    This fire energy is a distinct shift from a few days ago. I’m not sleeping, working long hours, incredibly impatient which results in me taking brazen strides to move what I see as ‘stuck’. Everything is fast paced – particularly inner change and frustration is at warp speed, but there is some change that is slow. In one area I feel like I am focusing alot of my energy into getting myself out of a hole that I didn’t realise I was so comfortable being in, and it was never a hole, until I recently I felt inprisoned. That feels like the uranus near opposing the moon next week – the security-freedom energy.

    The Uranian energy is subtle, but present. Today, I met with someone and they offered me a very good opportunity, unexpectedly so.

    Tired? Absolutely.
    Determined, like a warrior going into bat? Check.
    I’m fired up to make things happen and push myself to a new level on my self-actualising scale. That’s how I’m using my mars.
    But no fights. No way.

    I choose to direct this energy into moving the stuck mountain in my life. and with 5 or so planets there from next week, and the square to transformative pluto, I think I just might be able to do it.

    • anonymous, are you by chance a decan 1 taurus? that’s my sign, and losing my trademark silent-monk chill. I want to throw an epic mercury tantrum against all these work sector ills, from inefficient management oligarchies to lazy inattentive slobs, then serve a curt fuq you to all those attention seeking facebookers on my feed. yes, being such a bitch….but I’ve been keeping up to date on the daily and wising up. staying extra careful so I don’t disadvantage myself. working out extra hard after work then going to sleep. My brain in saturn is also on hyper drive, able to handle double the productivity and the pain, while seeing into the future – 12th house. It’s taxing but i am sleeping extra, keeping extra energy in reserve so i can take on the zap zone with grace, not do or say anything harmful, also having the patience to wait and let things come to you. here’s to zero accidents and unintended mishaps!

  3. And I plan to wear more red. i know that you say to do your ascendant as its good luck but doing red because mars in in aries (lipstick, shoes, belt) i bet is a good way to channel this energy productively.

  4. Like it or not I am doing paelo due to my autistic son’s dietary needs.
    Your Pilates person sounds on the money according to what I understand.

    A naturopath did some metal tests and found he was really high in lead & zinc, mercury etc. I am amazed and angry none of the many GP’s I see have suggested these tests.
    It seems remarkably negligent. What the hell is a doctor for?
    Mars in Aries may make me pretty aggro on this point.

    So now I am completely grain free, eat organic and I drink bone broth before every meal. We are doing GAPS (gut & psychology syndrome) which makes a lot of sense to me.
    Bascially you are steaming pool of bacteria – or at least you should be. If you are not, then your brain stops working properly. Bad food can kill your brain if your gut is half dead.

    My brain and skin do feel luscious.

    Then yesterday my older child’s kinder suggested I get him tested for developmental delays, which was kind of the cherry on the cake of this whole journey I’m on atm. :(

    • Homeopath, homeopath, homeopath! Get thy kiddlets there…NOW!!!!

      • Yes, I will look into that too. Atm I am just getting all the MTHFR (muthafuqa) mutation tests and copper, other more delicate metal pathology tests done. Sigh! Will get there.

    • Were your children immunised? Vaccinations have mercury (and heaps of other dastardly demons) in them. Maybe worth trying a homeopath to de-vaccinate them.

      • Actually all vaccinations since 2000 do not contain mercury. However, my son’s inability to process metals means you could pass in him in front of a car exhaust and he’d probably get toxic.

        I always knew he would have autism as I had a dream (that I think I wrote about here) that intimated it, so he had the bare minimum (whooping cough) and that is it.
        For the record, I think immunisations are good IF or when your child can break down what they contain. I am hoping to get my child vaccinated within coming years, it is bit ‘darned if you do, darned if you don’t’. I don’t want to be responsible for any mother losing her baby etc.

        The homeopath people are probs great and I will look into them, but I am focusing on building a healthy body that can transmute ANYthing. Mercury, lead, or qi vamp fuqery.

    • I saw amazing 4 Corners featuring US doco about how imbalances in a child’s developing gut may be directly to cause for autism. I’m guessing you’ve seen this one too? It was really amazing. It touched on how antibiotics can imbalance the gut at a critical stage and this leads to bad bacteria taking over and affecting the brain. Amazing stuff.

      • Yes, antibiotics and specifically the Candida that can result is a monster of an infection. It stays in your gut like some horrifying beast, infecting organs and popping up in weird places.

        If you have ever had a candida infection or a bit of brain fog I recommend this diet as a lifetstyle/detox.

        Thanks for your interest y’all!!!
        I appreciate the kind good vibes, it has been a upsetting day, so thanks.

        • Thank you for the link Andromeda.

          I am glad you have taken the time to research immunisation rather than jump to conclusions.

          I’m sorry you’ve had a crappy day. I hope tomorrow is better for you hon xx

          • Thank you sweetie Pi.
            Also, I have lost a kilo this week eating more fat than you could poke at stick at.

            I don’t miss the carbs or sugar and don’t get hungry. All MADly unusual for me.

            Feels good.

      • Students working under wings of learned teacher. Ridiculously economic. Xx remember, my straight laced, straight up, non-swearing orthodox Jewish Virgo doctor said when I first spoke to him of boys diagnosis ? “Fuq the labels, get the help!” love you Andromeda. Xx

        • Thank you very much Cosmic Fleece!
          Having trouble with my router/FB, but I will save the link.
          Your doc sounds lovely and humane. It’s too often other mothers of children with ASD hear, “Well the statistics are.. waffle, waffle”.
          Maybe the child will be one of 20 ever helped by a diet! So why not try it?

          Actually hired two very different and lovely ladies to work with my son under the heading of ABA but with a very chilled out goal of therapy.

          • Good on you Andromeda,
            We had both ABA and DIR/Floortime. Bit of structured learning, bit of fun learning…(Appealing for muti Gem / pisces rising) ….it took a few ”out takes” for me to learn, what is spectrum behaviour and what is ”im not bloody well doing that” behaviour ! (i still wonder ! and am suprised) ABA helped with that .
            You are SO on this Lioness !!! xx Shine on. x

  5. Ive been riding & driving that porcelain bus since last night. I’m being completely cleansed, albeit against my will, but seriously folks – the ability to shit clear water is godly.
    Thinking this is my chance to only eat fruit & raw juice from here on in. How to get hubby & bubby to go along without the doth protesteth too much?
    Gunt is my word of the week. If only I had it yesterday when I laid down a righteous snit at some fuqwittering tool who likes to deficate on my personal FB soapbox stance.
    What a fuqing imbecilic gunt!

    • This is how I started my detox! Went to a music festival and got gastro on landing! Couldn’t eat for 3 days so I thought, why not launch into a detox. Listening to the body is critical.

      • PS>.. I’m doing the Joshi detox… It’s awesome. Gwyneth Paltrow was right! (this is not an ad btw.. I just love how I feel)

  6. I’ve been getting my Mars on for about a week now and it feels great. I am setting excellent boundaries and speaking up for myself. The results have been interesting to say the least. A few people aren’t happy. Some are visibly shocked when I express an opinion that’s inconvenient for them. I’ve realised just how many people in my life expect me to accommodate them because that’s what I’ve always done. For someone who makes a living out of being Miss Smartypants-Wordy, I’ve been next to useless in actually speaking up for myself.
    I am also applying Aries to money/income, and being super proactive about chasing the kind of work I want. Who knows what will come of it, the main thing is I’m sending stuff out, seeing opportunities everywhere.

    • Well it’s nice to hear someone is charging along with that Martian fire guy!

        • Chrysalis, I’ve been in a similar position of having a hard time standing up for myself, and then seeing people react with shock when I finally dared to do so. I can promise you that they will either treat you with a new level of respect, or, well, they won’t — either way, it’s times like these when you see people’s true colors. Anyone needing weeded out will be pretty clear.

          Good luck to you with all of it.

  7. Same Aries Pilates Instructor who told you ‘hands off’ fasting because ‘the brain needs carbs’?? (*sniff* there are no essential carbohydrates and sugar consumption is PROVEN to cause mental illness whereas improper elimination has not).

    As you can see my Aries ON is a bit opinionated but backed by new scientific theory/evidence a la Mars in Sadge.

    Speaking of Sadge, the new man in my orbit is a late Sadge sun. Wants be running partners and do water sports (that will be all his planets in Scorpio I guess). *races to pull on Nike frees*

  8. GUNT! such a good word
    like cankle


    what timing, I have been emailing around like a demon to find a cheap gym and just knuckle down with my body so I can be juiced enough to deal with my biz shit. I might be poor right now, but it all comes back to the body and being able to function 101 as the main game. So, fuck everything else for a bit I need to get healthy and sorted in the mind body connection. This was brought on as well by a bout of gastro (i never get gastro, so the poo thing is totally relevant right now) and just missing my super ninja powers of awesome. There is a rocky theme tune playing in my psyche somewhere and I intend to liberate it funds or not to kill slothdom and get fit and awesome.

    • Good one Ms.
      Last time my lower back tweaked the physio gave me a bunch of exercises based around lying on the back, pressing the tummy towards the floor and lifting the ankle up and down with legs stretched out. strengthens core, back AND abs I think….Ask a professional 1st folks b4 trying at home :)

      It doesn’t happen often but if my back tweaks, I’m in a Gunt of mood for a week..nyuk,nyuk.

      Oh and a belated Happy birthday to M !!X

  9. Just had the person I’ve been Fantasising about come over, and its no wonder I fantasise because he’s pretty effin hot! beautiful eyes, dosnt that do it, the eyes, omg… So I tried to flirt in a relaxed casual friendly way, he’s a bit nervous and jumbled his words, but he’s also not on the same wavelength…. No worries… Fun fantasy though…. Then talked to the neighbour, lovely bloke, and he was kinda flirting with me, didn’t want to stop talking! the problem, all married! goddamn it…. Now will listen to manifesting my dreams CD… Mars… Well lets saddle this energy and ride!

  10. Luckily work has ramped up crazily. I shall work out more too.

    I wish I had a bath in my new place. Nothing beats a bath to make the world and all your silly lite problems disappear.

    • Totally bath is so good for auto self care…. Last year when I stopped smoking, I went through a period about 5 weeks into quitting, that I had avbath as soon as I got home from work every afternoon, to settle my agitation…. Might have one soon ….

  11. I devised three outlets:

    This Sun/Mer Gem is writing – only I switched from Pisces tone (dreamy) to Aries tone (get going dude!).

    My Pilates instructor (an Aqua) has upped my workout – I am leaving the studio waddling like a penguin.

    My Cap Moon is attacking all sorts of “to-do list” items as if we are in the mid of a battle – laundry? done. dishes? done. anything else? that too done. it is a bit manic, but it delivers.

    I am sleeping less but its quality has increased.

  12. I am gonna get my buttocks out on the street and start running. Well, walking first then into a run. A friend just reached out to me last night asking me how I am doing with my plan to start running. Grrrr… as I look at my calendar to remind me to do it that has one (1) “Y” for yes (I did it). So, I told her I promised myself to do it tonight.

    So, I guess that is what you mean with all this brewing energy that needs to get out. Haven’t been eating that well this week but I did juice last night which is great in my opinion.


    • PS: Aries is in my 6th and 7th house, career and health. Things are definitely brewing at work. My boss just asked me to go to a seminar which is great. I also had a fun day yesterday being so busy that when I looked at the clock it was almost time to go home. I didn’t even know it!

      I definitely feel my career and health being activated. This is good!

  13. All this talk on health and detox is making me happy and excited! Went on a detox like 2 weeks of last semester. Had cut out yeast, wheat, sugar, refined goods, dairy and caffeine. Felt light but exhausted. Now on a holiday abroad for a month so diet has slid. Was trying to treat candida/digestive problems Nd its accompanying embarassing symptoms.
    Recenly ordered extra virgin coconut oil for eating and oi pulling. Its been helping me quiet a lot. Just wish things would be moving and shaking in the love life too :((

  14. I am a naturopath, acupuncturist, craniosacral therapist and yoga teacher. I have been involved in the natural health industry for 30 years and it is my opinion that the Aries Pilates Instructor is a fuqwit and possibly even dangerous.

    • Hey Monte…. Love the way you put that, like a brick through a window…. I suspect the p.I. might be onto something about elimination…. but the other stuff I know nothing about, where is your perspective coming from and do I need to excercise my psoas muscle and how… Sex I bet!

      • I’ve got to go to bed but the psoas m is a hip flexor – it lifts or flexes your leg. It is used whenever you raise your leg eg. walking and running. It is common for it to get tight and weak and is implicated in lower back pain and a host of other things.

        There are specific exercises that you can prob find online. I prefer an overall program to health rather than an over focus on one muscle or muscle group. It can tend to create problems in some people.

        I think squatting to poo is a good thing but I don’t know of any research on the matter and haven’t looked for any.

        Sex is good if you can get it. And not bad if you can’t. Just my opinion.

        • Ah right cool no particular tricks , I used to go deep enough to massage on Sie peeps and yes usually very tight… I’ve been doing back bends too which should hopefully stretch it out… I love squatting and have read a fair bit about elimination and did a bowel cleanse which was great! love enemas and colonics, sometimes concern they aren’t that good for me, but I feel better after….

  15. “Get our Mars on… because we kind of have to” ??

    I don’t want to. Don’t feel like it. Not in the mood and I don’t like being told to do anything. It activates my Uranus square Saggo moon.

    The only think I’m upping is my relaxation and chill time. :)

    Have really enjoyed the line up of Pisces planets and energy trining my Sun and Neptune. Dreamy… disappointed it’s slipping into Aries. Toro energy after that will be nice. :)

    • Yes I enjoyed the dreamy Pisces energy too, and it is just lush tonight w this kataka moon… I don’t want to fight what’s coming though, trying to go with the flow…. Everyone wanted to sleep at work today, the soft rain and over ast skies leant our moods to more dreaminess, but work is demanding…. My plan is to hold the lushness in my heart for as long as possible zzz xxx

      • oh nice…. I do love soft rain. Any type really. :) well, I’m not working at the moment so I can hold the lushness in my heart for a bit longer, even though Saturn is transiting my 10th house. I know Saturn likes a plan but the last one didn’t work out too well.

        I’ll get there (my Cap Asc will see to that – SEE I don’t need Aries energy to get moving), But all in good time and when I’m ready. πŸ˜€

        Are you an Aqua?

        • Maybe my Jupiter in Toro is too stubborn to move. Hahaha.. It squares Saturn natally.

          Saturn: “get off the couch and do something”

          Jupiter: Nope, don’t wanna… **munches on bag of corn chips**

  16. Guh. Mars and Uranus in my 6th house squaring my Saturn and Pluto opposite my Sun. Laid up at home looking like the elephant woman after a wisdom tooth extraction. Still, I am on a strict diet by default because all I can eat is soup and yogurt. Transits can be a bit literal sometimes!

  17. Ah right cool no particular tricks , I used to go deep enough to massage on Sie peeps and yes usually very tight… I’ve been doing back bends too which should hopefully stretch it out… I love squatting and have read a fair bit about elimination and did a bowel cleanse which was great! love enemas and colonics, sometimes concern they aren’t that good for me, but I feel better after….

  18. Just want to say for the astro new year, I digest life with ease and joy, I let go when I need to and do not carry anythingbi do not need to carry. I release vows I have made in the past that no longer serve me or all beings. I invite love to continue to manifest magnificently in my life with peace, and freedom from suffering for all beings…. I am so grateful for my life and experiences and am grateful for the dreams and goals manifesting right now. Happy new year xxx

  19. Fuqing Hell – I have a small gunt………………..

    My pilates teacher has a bigger one though……….

    What does that say about us????????

  20. Drum roll please….. la, la, me, me, ,me, me….. Happy Birthday to YOUUUU!!! Happy Birthday to YOUUUUU!!!!! Happy Birthday dearest MYSTIC, Happy Birthday to YOUUUUU!!!! …

    I almost forgot! I know it’s a day late for out of the US so better late than never!

    Wishing you an amazing year and continued success with your talent. You have been a life saver to me and others!! God Bless~ <3

  21. Pluto is currently hanging out with my Saturn, I suppose that spurred my passionate concern for my health and fitness in the last year or so. This past month I have been working hard to change my diet (now eating by a primal template). I’ve been having trouble getting off my butt and exercising, though. This Mars-Pluto square is making it a little difficult to capitalize on the Aries energy to transform my body.

  22. I’m angry and impatient – am I doing it right, lol? So many jobs are flirting with me right now, but STILL no one has sent me the proper proposal yet. UGH! I know I’m not going to go hungry, but I am getting mightiliy impatient with this whole job-dating process.

    My plan for the next few weeks is Birkam yoga, martial arts, and home remodeling – the type of stuff that’s cheap but labor intensive, like refinishing kitchen cabinents and stenciling the ceiling. I don’t have to spend any $ to get it done since I have supplies. I hope that will please Pluto in my 4th and Saturn in my 2nd.

    Now…more phone interviews…UGH…at least I remember why I don’t date

    • Just remember to let them lead. Just like with dating except it’s easier because there is a gold standard of performance to compare them to. Good luck!

      • Thanks. I’m so stressed out. Carbs are now making me nauseous. I noticed I get super sensitive/nervous when Uranian energy amps up. It’s like I have no comfy habit to retreat to now. (groan)

  23. On Sunday…..made money, had sex twice(we are very middleaged), then rocked Monday with work cleaning and cooking. Worked yesterday even though I felt bad then sex again.
    Go mars in Aries in my 8th house!!!
    Today working and may make money(hope). Don’t feel well but keeping steady.

  24. Fascinating interview with Pilates guru Liz Koch on messages from your psoas muscle:

    “Your question was also about weakness, but I don’t think the psoas is weak. The psoas is exhausted. That’s the difference in our thinking process. If we think something is weak, we need to make it strong. If we think something is exhausted, we look for ways to let it heal and not be misused. It’s a huge difference in strategy.”

  25. ah mystic, we are in sync with the double injection of body work and sleep! gotta keep that aries mercury in check haha.

    also i need to google what the heck mugwart is? is it a potion to smite down all the retards? can i get it in the states?

  26. I am getting my Mars on via to-do lists, and ticking each item off with gusto.
    It’s called a “Fuck Yeah List”—no getting out of it—you HAVE to do it and you will LIKE it.

    Gunt-schmunt, just find some exercise that works for you and that you enjoy.

    The Shire? All on meds? ehhhh. Probably the ones that feel the need to go to Pilates instructors. The ones that are out surfing big waves are on adrenaline or something.

    • I know a few people from the Shire. They’re all surfer dudes & chicks. No meds!!

  27. moon transiting over natal mars in cancer {eighth house}, while opposing my natal wut is evn happening. WHAT IS A REAL MARS LIKE? mars in cancer is SO EFFING PASSIVE. (lol you are experiencing the sag rising) BUT REALLY? how can a lil mars in cancer gurl get some umph?

  28. Happy belated birthday lovely Mystic Medusa. Hope it was rad. Just wanted to share I’ve been making my super Energy green smoothie each morning which contains dandelion greens watercress spinach ginger chard Kale celery cucumber and maybe pear or Apple. I will add lemon juice and apple cider vinegar to turn up the heat. With fruit juice helps with the taste.

  29. Happy belated solar return, Mystic!

    I simply LOVE the title of this post!!

    I wil keep it in mind the next few days…cuz by the weekend I’ll be wanting to get my Mars on πŸ˜‰

  30. Happy solar return lubbly MM. phew nearly missed it.

    Having grown up in the shire and having visited it recently and 2 other areas of Sydney there are very distint tribes. The shire has not changed much in 30 years still racist, slightly arrogant and isolated. Glad I got out

  31. It’s too late. I’ve already been reported to the CEO for profanity at work. not that I regret it much and boy! have I ever gained allies!! πŸ˜›

  32. Well, Mars in Capricorn in the 8th here, and I’m weirdly enjoying the massive to-do list that my life is right now. I’m still newish to astrology and am still figuring out how the houses and angles and such all work together, but I think my Saturn in Aries is having some fun with this, too. Along with all of the Getting Stuff Done, I’m rethinking diet/exercise also, and it all feels right.