Astro-Query: Is This Toro Becoming A Love Zombie?

Filed in Astro-Query

male model squeezing ketchup on burgerHi Mystic,
 
Your post Respect for Taureans has got me marvelling (yet again) at just how fuqing eerily accurate your astro-knowledge is. Your dailies have got me jaw-dropping (yet again). You Are Genius!
 
Anyway, enough gushing, I have a query.  I have indeed  (as you state in your daily horoscope) been fighting a lover turned foe vibe precisely since Christmas. Me Toro, He Pisces. I want to know if anyone tell me what the fuq is going on with Pisceans at the moment? Okay Mars in Pisces. But what the fuq? Do Piscean Boys ever become Men?
    
Okay, after 8 years together we have had some difficulties of late (mostly financial). We have adored each other for so many years. We have a farm of rescued (some 100) animals. I love him very much, to this moment. The child within him brought the child in me back to life. I am ever so grateful for that. But with life comes responsibilities…At Christmas time Pisces boy leaves for a week with no notice (turns out taking drugs with wayward brother). Two weeks later he comes down with Bell’s Palsy (methinks three all day/night coke benders would lower one’s immunity to the point where the virus (if that is what causes the condition) would take hold). Pisces is on pharma steroids for the inflammation of the facial nerve. Pisces turns progressively psychotic as a result of the steroids (as a nutritionist I prescribed B12 & B Complex daily, plus took him organic blueberry-picking at the local farm on that weekend as the anti-oxidants should help too). On full Leo moon weekend just past (he Leo Rising) goes mental and gets violent (no biggie, I can handle his aggression, we are both male). Things get ugly…

Me, being Toro, digs heels in and states, I will not be with someone like that, what next a knife in the back whilst I sleep? We have no money at the moment on account of he not being able to work (hairdresser).  So Pisces disappears for the last four days (not the first time) and is uncontactable and not returning calls. Meanwhile, for the last month I have been the Rock – working full time, doing everything around the house and farm, making it all as easy as poss for him. And I’m starting to think… Why can’t I, for a change, be the Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction Bunny Boiler? (Not that I would ever boil a bunny, I am vegan, but you get my point?)

So, my question, can any Pisceans tell me what the fuq is going on with you guys at the moment? Or is it just unique to my situation, Neptune/Chiron in Pisces, he being super-sensitive to substances and having steroids fuq with his brain, etc, etc?Thing is, I still love this guy so very much, and I so feel his pain, I so want to help him…I just have too much else to deal with right now (ie, the shared responsibilities he ran away from) to give much of a fuq. Though I am really hurting. And exhausted.

I know Neptune/Chiron (his health/family issues) is hitting him, and this fixed-square full moon fuqer just gone has catalysed things, but why do Pisceans run away from their problems? Or is it just me being Toro not understanding it? We have had 8 years of good times and bad times and always got through them. Or have I just been surrogate mother doing everything for him and it’s my fault for not setting boundaries earlier? This placid Toro is just about ready to gore some bullfighter.

Am I a Love Zombie? Should I let it go?

If you can shed any light, I’d be eternally grateful.

Gypsy Toro Feeling The Pinch. xx

Dear Gypsy Toro Feeling The Pinch,

Thank you for the flattery – it works on me! Unfortunately, i don’t think this is so much about what Pisceans are or are not up to, Mars, Neptune whatever – domestic violence is not suddenly crashingly appropriate just because you’re both men, right?  I mean, did i miss some memo? And i am not actually an expert on Space Dust benders but it would seem logical that it would amplify nerve conditions. Sweetie, Boyfriend sounds like a fully-fledged addict & if this is the case, Boyfriend needs WAY more than organic blueberries, B12 and you gleaning more about Pisces from me and my peeps. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear but seriously?

As for Neptune-Chiron-Mars etc, i have been saying for a while now that (in general) Pisceans are polarizing – either cleaning up their act big-time or embarking on epic sleazy benders of self-destruction. Same goes for where ever you have Pisces in YOUR chart, you know? If you’re pure & authentic there, amazing magic opens up. I am talking life improving synchronicity and noticably enhanced psychic powers. Choose even a hint of grub there and well, you’re downwardly mobile real fast.

So personally, i think you should be outta there – or, as you’ve got the 100 foster animals (LOVE THIS) – maybe suggest Boyfriend looks into some other options. eg: Not living with you till he gets his shit together via N.A. or similar?  And if you’re casting around looking for reasons to justify his violence, hun, you’re wading into extreme Love Zombie territory.  You have a beautiful vibe to you – please don’t become a Love Zombie shacked up with a violent Qi Vampire on Space Dust?

But okay, it’s the Moon in Scorpio & i have had like a 1000 coffees – what does everyone else think? Am i being too judgmental here?

Image: Rhys Frampton – Essential Homme

83 thoughts on “Astro-Query: Is This Toro Becoming A Love Zombie?

  1. Toootalllllly withMM, please protect yourself and your animals!! they need you safe, and he sounds sooo unsafe. Are you isolated from friends and family? Can you get some loving supportive people around you?

  2. You deserve better than this. There is NO excuse for violence. I don’t care what this guy is taking. Ditch him ASAP before this turns even nastier. It is not your reponsability to fix him. You can only look after yourself (and the 100 animals). And yes he sounds like an addict.

  3. Oh Mystic’s advice is perfect, Gypsy Toro, and as another Piscean can i tell you no matter what is going on with any sign, drug benders steroids and psychosis overrule any astro effect. And amplify deep shit to betsey for a Neptunian at the mo. I have witnessed some amazing health problems in some of my former friends, both physical and mental. There’s always another ‘reason’ but really space dust is the common theme.

    8 years is something to honour, for sure, but not just from the stoic and generous Taurus. There is no excuse in the stars for dishing out violence nor for taking it. When this happens it is not a sign to hang on or hang in there but to act quickly. Your physical strength is not at issue; i’ve known men in fear of damage by their male partners…emotional, household items, losing bond or being kicked out of rentals, pet safety, treatment of guests and friends etc. Being able to hold someone off is fortunate but not the whole picture of the effects.

    Don’t be alone: get some trusted support, be honest and be brave. It’s a time to get this sorted, it’s not a waiting game you want to play (experience talking – plenty of it.) Sending lots of love to you xx

  4. The Saturn in Scorp is in your 7th house of partnerships, right? Yeah, the planet of time does bring his scythe down really hard. I married a Pisces, so yes – some DO become men. He has Toro rising, though, which gives him a steadiness (and stubbornness).

    You are worth less drama. Look at the animals around you. They just BE. They live and be. It’s time to get some living and being in your life. Give yourself a mental and emotional vacation from this guy. Be uber-healthy, get plenty of sleep, and spend time with your animals. Then you can have some perspective. If it’s time to exercise Saturn in Scorp, then you’ll know.

  5. I agree with you taking some space from him, ie. he finds a new home until he’s welcome back. If nothing else it will give you some time to figure out what you need to do, at best it may even sound a wake up call for him. Plus despite all the work that will leave you with (not that it sounds like he helps much at the mo) you will probably have a lot more energy without his dramas dragging you down. Rally your friends and family of the heart and ask for their help. It sounds like you need it. Wishing you strength and love.

  6. Nope you are not being too judgemental Mystic. You are being spot on. Being a Piscean and what’s going on with the astro is no excuse for acting like a complete c***

    Toro friend – your Piscean fella is an addict and you are doing him no favours by mopping up after his shit. Enabling addicts only perpetuates the cycle for longer. What they most need is a big fat wake up call in the form of “feeling the consequences of their actions” … kick him out pronto. Do not put up with this shite. Tell him to get help or get lost.

    Soz but this scenario never improves when the addict just wants to wallow in their addictive, irresponsible, uncontienable behavior expecting everyone else to carry them.

    • She’s right. Unfortunately, losing the love of his life (you) may be just the consequence he needs.

      Take care of yourself. There is no reason why you should expect yourself to be able to handle domestic violence. You’re a grown-up now. You can make peace for yourself and your animals. Wishing you blessings and healing. xoxoxo

  7. Oh your letter was so sweet. I think you must be a very gentle person. But regardless of gender, don’t put up with violence in any form, even pass agg. Really really really – get outta there. Guy sounds like an addict, I feel your pain, we’ve all been there and hoped and hoped, but….

    Let go and get him out of your life and concentrate on the personalities that really need you (your animals need you far more than an adult male) and don’t let yourself get walked on, not because you’re not a gentle soul, but because it won’t change a thing if your boy is really on a bender.

    I think Mystic’s nailed it. Please don’t attribute it to star sign bender dust. Some things cannot be fathomed or solved by astrology, and your wellbeing is far more important than understanding his problems. Cut him loose and look after yourself.

  8. Unless he can clean his act up, I’d have to agree with fencing him. Once someone develops a substance abuse problem, they almost become completely different people.

    I’ve worked in banking for some time and seen many relationships crumble due to financial problems. It’s really sad actually. I hope he snaps out of it and focuses on getting you both through the hard times. If he can’t, then you may have to soldier on without him or you may be dragged in to his mess.

    I genuinely hope things turn around for you in this scenario.

  9. Sounds as if this Toro should be doing a little de-cluttering……starting with the (ex)boyfriend. Everyone deserves to be loved and nurtured and it sounds like the opposite is happening in your life at the moment.

    It’s amazing how good you feel after a good de-clutter! Good luck!

  10. Toro! You need to atock up for yourself and stop bending over backwards matrix style for him. You are not his mother but his lover! Where is the respect for you as the other half in this relationship!

    I agree with MM – Prehaps a diff living situation till he gets his shit together, time for your precious self to heal from what I could imagine to be very rough on your self esteem and faith in the relationship, your about to go all bull up on his ass.

    My ruling planet is Neptune. Venus and ascendent in Pisces I’ve done the out of control benders what I needed and luckily what I got was someone (Taurus moon man) to ground me and lay down the law. It worked, priorities and realizations set in.

    Suddenly the air cleared and there was no way I was loosing that person to my momentarily relapse of insanity.

    Good luck, update us x

  11. definitely cleaning my act!! fuck that! i might hit the bong once or twice but i’m focus on getting my shit together. i have to (:

  12. Gentle Toro Man – I too think Mr Pisces is displaying classic addict behaviour. Often the hardest thing for partners to understand is that the most important relationship to an addict is the one with their drug(s) of choice. Next is their relationship with other addicts in their circle. Close personal relationships always come after those two. You need to think carefully about your own boundaries around his behaviour and what is, and is not, acceptable. You need to tell him what your boundaries are. Violence is never acceptable. Take care and keep yourself safe.

  13. The writing is on the wall.. literally ^^ up there^^
    Without going into it too much what you’re dealing with – been there.1 year ago -nearly to date I ended it with my libra qi vamp. 9 years of being on an emtional roller coaster (by choice mind you) breaks you down while you somehow manage to convince yourself can solve all of their problems. You can’t.
    Get out now.
    It’s tough at first.. however I know you’re strong because not many can stay in a relationship with these unintentionally manipulative double standard junkies for so long.

    & when your ready.. put your energy into someone who gives it back.

  14. i am a taurus sun with pisces rising and am having this struggle internally at the minute, with taurus wanting work, security and roast potatoes and pisces fluctuating between monastic-crossfit -paleo-vegan or drunken- trysexual- hedonistic- party- beast.
    Its fun to mix it up.

  15. Hrmmmm. This timeline is freakishly accurate with my fallout with my (Pisces) ex. He had autoimmune problems flare and got on steroids for them in December, then just peaced out to India randomly without letting me know around Christmas after we were talking potential reconciliation which hurt me and made me cut off contact. Earlier in the year he wanted to take me to Varanasi and heavily insinuated that that was the place he wanted to pop the question after almost 3 years of long-distance with 3-6 months leases together and then 3 months off back at our respective homes as the pattern. So for him to decide of all the places in the world that he wanted to be without me was that specific place was kind of unforgivable for me.

    My Pisces is having financial struggles as well after making quite a bit of money on his own early in life and has not taken it well. He had one failed start up and now this recent-ish venture has not taken off like he expected. He is a perfectionist and I think he feels a lot of shame around this and the stress re-triggered his autoimmune disorder that had been dormant for almost a decade.

    In conclusion I would say that my case study synchs up with yours in a few ways and that these guys are prone to turning to fantasy in times of stress. I’d tell your Pisces everything that you said in your letter above — that you love who he really is at his core and the life you have built together, that his addiction problems are making him not that person, and that you will not stand for the way he is treating you. Make it a good mix of honesty, compassion, suggestions for help, but a firm boundary on what needs to happen for him to be allowed to be able to live and be with you again. You sound like a lovely person with a big heart and I hope it all works out! I want to hear more about this animal rescue operation, this is like every Toro’s dream come true!

  16. Gypsy Toro Hun, I think you already know what you need to do.. I mean, do we really need to draw an imaginary line down your email, because it’s all right there in black and white. I think what you’re feeling is torn between the goodness of this relationship as evidenced by the past and it’s alarming inclinations towards an unstable future.

    Leaving labels behind, I would say anyone who’s been in a long term relationship understands how extricably woven one’s existence becomes with another, so much so the question of leaving them, is like asking if you should be leaving yourself. Or at least the self you are, and have been around them.

    So to reduce this situation a little bit, let’s ponder the question: Is this really who you are? And is this the life that has meaning for you?

    Because we can all exhaust ourselves reminding you he’s an addict, while weighing the otherwise lovely person he is underneath all that when the truth is, you already know what to do. You need to preserve yourself, stop questioning if you trying to save your relationship makes you a love zombie or alternatively, that you’re not being understanding enough, and get back to your core. The strong and loving person who created an amazing life your BF is choosing to miss out on because he’s way too drug addled.

    I think if you cut him off now, it may be just another chapter in the book. However he uses the time, either to reflect and pull himself back, or go farther down the swirling waters, you don’t need to get punished through all that because really, this addiction is about him. Addicts don’t have relationships with people.

    So I’m sorry to say this darling, but he’s already left you.

    If you stay, you will only be staying for that person you were or are when he’s clean and around you. Is it memory, or promis? You know. And I very much feel for you.

    • You may be dealing with a walk in. Those drugs can loosen the link between soul and our body and while someone floats out in a bender, voilà they’ve acquired a roomie.

      Saw this first hand with Neptune/Sun friend and other Neptune /Pisces strong folk.

      Where your Chiron is =why/where you make exceptions.

      Your animal angels/babes are so lucky!!!

      Plan for the worst and take him out of the picture so you save your health and live sanely.

      All blessings to both of you!!

  17. no Mystic, right on the money as usual. When a lover expresses themself by being aggressive and physical, but DON’T ACTUALLY HURT YOU, it can be frighteningly easy to shrug it off. Toro will be making excuses until it is too late or get the fuq out.

  18. Domestic violence is never ok, regardless of whatever transhit is happening. Go protect yourselves and the rescue schnukems!!! Boundaries: physical, emotional, psychological, etc.

    Please don’t think that time alone is a good measure for a relationship – like you said, there have been both good and bad times. Even if you can’t decide right now whether to end it or not, at least get proper distance, and marshall your herd of supporters!!! (soz, couldn’t help it)
    Call the police if you have to – don’t put up with drug-induced bender shit. (I’ve been on the receiving end of one, so I have some idea).

    He dishes shit out, you are not obliged to take it, go the Toro strength. Respect yourself by carving out your own space and seeing things as they are for YOU.
    I know you’re not making excuses for Pisces, that’s done and dusted, right? The way he’s beeen behaving is, I found, very disrespectful to you, the person he supposedly still loves. To me respect is a very important of Love. Regardless of his Sun sign, whatever planets are doing where and what, well, reads like he’s chosen the addiction to the relationship – sorry if that’s hinky-sounding.

    Wishing you all the best, truly, as you navigate your way through.

  19. Oh wow how I can empathise with you Gypsy Toro.

    I am a fellow Toro who’s been waiting on a Pisces man to grow up for too long. Finally decided to stop waiting at the end of the year after relocating countries for him, after 3 years of long distance and a fairytale romance. Fairytale romances however do not pay the bills and especially not when you are living with a 23 year old Piscean bass player. I was bearing the financial responsibility (as well as any real grown up/admin matters) all on my own and he would come out with the most viscous defensiveness and anger if I ever questioned his contribution or lifestyle. Couldn’t do it to myself any longer so I came back to Melbourne to try to rebuild my life sans beau. I think us Toros have a hard time of letting go where our hearts have been invested. I for one tend to see the good in people, often to my detriment.

    Hope to send you feelings of strength and encouragement to choose the path that is right for you.

    • you are my life twin.

      and yeah, i think taureans get really attached because they don’t invest until they’re sure. i am pretty guarded about who i let in and not so into casual dating or sex despite not being against it morally or in theory…

      • Yes! The initial caution just leads to an ultra level of commitment (and potential heartbreak). Hard to meet a person who truly connects on a soul level so it makes sense that we take a leap of faith and make the investment.

  20. Thank you all for your kind & supportive comments! I will post an update as soon as i’m done feeding all the munchkins (& myself)!

  21. Firstly I don’t agree with just about any one above. The occasional bender doth not make an addict. Most of your problems relate to your financial situation ? Then get help right there. Find a good financial councillor, this can make a huge difference to your sad pisceans sense of hopelessness. I know in my relationship (15 years) that financial stress causes my wife incredible worry (kataka) while I’m a bit more blasé and in the end I worry more about her than the finances.
    Him being aggressive is obviously not a good sign but it’s level or pitch is unclear?
    If you want this relationship to survive and I think it can, just leave him be for a while . If you can’t handle your animal duties etc either get rid of them or find someone else to care for them. An 8 year relationship is more important . Don’t give up just yet in my opinion, make changes though to the way your physical life is set up, it doesn’t sound sustainable.
    Can’t believe all the above comments about dumping this guy ? Have any of you had an 8 year relationship ? You would dump someone for going off the rails for a while ? Tough audience.

    • I agree with you- there isn’t any mention about this behaviour happening before, and if its him freaking out as a result of the financial and other stress, it seems a bit rough to ditch an apparently happy 8 year relationship rather than look at the sources of the problems and try deal with practical stuff first.

      • Sure, that was a bit harsh. Just the wrong words there. As toro says below, maybe some fostering out ?
        Must be a big financial /emotional burden.

        Though don’t get me started on the fact that Australians spend about $5b dollars a year on pets. While dumping thousands of the poor darlings when they have had enough fun.
        And should we continue to turn a blind eye to the fact that feral/domestic cats are destroying certain types of native wildlife to the point of extinction ?

        Sorry to get off the core subject , I didn’t mean get rid of as in dump.

        • Hi davidl, all my animals came from neglect/and or abuse. I will never let them down. Pisces is a grown man and can/can’t? look after himself. These animals have been through hell already. I will make sure, if need be, they get the best. Eg, little Jack Russell Maggie, she died a couple years ago, I jumped the fence and “stole” her from a situation best described as human-created hell on earth. She was tethered in a sand pit, no kennel, out in the elements, barely fed, covered in fly-blown dermatitis, no fur, nipples shrunk up, being sexually molested by a deranged 12-year old boy (who I’m told was having a secual relationship with his own fuqed up mother). It took her three years to recover mentally. She lived to the ripe-old age of 23 (human years!) See what love does? She died in her sleep thankfully, was active up until 3 days before she declined. I have seen and repaired the worst of human’s abuse and attitudes towards animals, and Maggie is just one case. I have a lot more. Thank you for clarifying your comment.

          • What a wonderful person you are! Warms my heart that does … I am a huge softie for animals and human abuse of them makes me want to scream.

          • Blessings upon blessings for you Gypsy Toro for what you did for Maggie.
            I love you!
            As for your bloke, man to man relationships are usually not s long loved as yours is, and i say IS, not WAS.
            Can we start a small donation fund to assist you, i will be the first to commit a few bucks a month, 100 peeps @ 10 a month gives you 1000. Even half that will pay for food & vet care.
            THAT is real help, in a real way that may make a huge difference.
            Myst??? Est Possible?

    • That kind of occurred to me too dl. I mean there was no mention of any drug probs before xmas. So this was one bender with bro, then max fallout. I agree that the piscean’s behaviour is not acceptable, but dumping? addict? after 8 yrs of possible normal-ish r’ship? hmm. I would go with the give/get space&time option, if you can get some help with the critters. And those finances. Also, like you say, he can’t take advantage of you without some kind of conversation. For a balanced person who was suffering e.g. grief or depression (you know), taking on their daily workload around the place would be a very kind and gentle thing to do. That sort of thing made (is making) a big difference to me as I go through a tough time.

      Having said that he might not even know what’s going on in his own head. Intervention time? do people even do that any more? in a non-intense way?

      good luck toro, you sound very taurean in your dedication to your partner, supporting them, sticking it out. And it’s understandable that you’re also pretty close to going a bit crazy yourself. but here;s one thing. Remember that there IS middle ground between being stoic and keeping on, and losing the plot. That middle ground is involving other people, in a healthy way, not just blogsters but your and his families, close friends to help you through this, however it turns out. and no it’s not love zombie. and I do agree the violence is not ok.

    • I agree, an 8 year relationship is important. But fearing for your life is unacceptable. There has to be borders – healthy borders – for the relationship to heal. Maybe it won’t heal and maybe it will, but just rolling with a domestic violence situation isn’t fair to anyone involved.

    • I was in a five year relationship, with someone physically aggressive but not technically violent, and we had a daughter, and after five years of aggression, threats, excuses, and insanity, the shit hit the fan and I had no choice but to get a restraining order against him. I had thousands of dollars invested in our joint entrepreneurial projects and I lost everything. So, when I said “make excuses until it is too late or get the fuq out” I was speaking from experience. (astro: his sun 28 Cap, my sun 27 Aries, and the night the shit hit the fan was last July’s new Moon in Cancer, exact t-square our suns. the next morning I was on the way to the court house, prometheus on my north node, mars on my Moon.)

  22. i been with two fish in this life one for 15years
    once toxins are in then see the other side of their way, not good for yo.
    I know how sweet they are yet not there when yo need it.
    If he not go to N.A save years of heartache and go on a holiday or whatever- take a break for gods sake!!!
    fish get bored with reality after a while and if not channeled into healthy hobbies
    then they will take yo down, down, down dont rely on a fish- find a nice virgo

  23. I sympathise Torro I really do – have the almost same thing ( Sans animals) but with a Cancer guy who likes the hard liquor and is not working (an actor) – we own a house together and have been together 14 years…..try and not engage with him when he’s on one – talk to him only when he’s normal and maybe suggest some couple councelling….Gotta be worth it right?? Many blessings to you xx

  24. hey gypsy toro, if ur around syd and need some help with the munchkins on the weekend, let me know :) i (and coy) love helping out with lil ones… although i am toro, pisces rising vegan gay 30 something, i have no substance issues, etc..!

    • Thank you for the offer lyouke! I am in melbourne. I will be okay with the physical side of looking after the animals, I will cope, financially I am somwhat fuqed at the moment, but I will will work that out too. I am vegan gay 30-something as well, your thought is very sweet.

      • Hey Toro, I’m in Melbourne. If you need some help, gimme a shout, yeah? It’s a genuine offer. My non-human animal schnukems have been rescues as well. Even through the financial hardships (was very nearly homeless last year), taking care of them was prioritized. We are their guardians after all.

        I mean it with the offer. I don’t offer shit like that unless i mean it (Scorp rising, allergic to bullshit). No strings either.

        Best of the brightest of luck to the kids!!!

        • Thank you U&PV! I will be okay physically. Like I said, the ponies, sheep, goats, ex-battery chooks (and turkey!) will be okay. So will the cats. I feel for the dogs mostly. They sleep in my bed (some peeps might think ugh! at that) each night, I am having to leave them for 11 hours a day for work(with toys, chews, cardboard boxes to destroy . They are feeling it most of all. I don’t think I could ever part with them. (Not sure who is going to let me live in their house with nine dogs!) I asked Pisces to just be home, do what he can, no pressure, worries, it would just give me so much peace of mind to know they are not alone each day for so long (they live indoors with back porch run while I’m not home). They are jack russell/staffy mixes and beagles. Lots of energy. I can’t give them everything they need right now. But they are ok. Dogs are the clowns of the animals world, no matter how hard my shit gets, they make me laugh and smile. Don’t know where I would be without them giving me that. I can’t give up on them. xx.

      • Maybe you can set up a website or something and take donations for your pets? Not sure if that’s something you are already doing, but I’d totally throw some dollars in for your cause.

  25. Aain, thank you All for your supportive comments.

    Okay, davidl actually beat me to the point I was going to make myself. Pisces is not an addict as such.Things have been shite lately and he has escaped with “benders”. Hell, I am not opposed to the occasional bender myself, Pisces and I have done it the past, but they were PLANNED, everything else was done, it was a planned night of fun. And we had fun. To be repeated within the next 6 months to a year.

    I have been drinking a few glasses of red wine myself most nights. Not good I know, but at the time it numbs some of the pain (obviously I still function and go to work and take care of the responsibilities, hangover or not). I am Venus/Jupiter in Pisces.

    What is really causing Pisces’ descent into psychosis is the fuqing steroids prescibed by the doctors. He says they stop the pain he gets up his neck and back of the head. I say take painkillers, they are better than the monster the steroids are turning you into. But you can’t tell anyone anything, I’ve learned, they need to learn it all on their own. (I am aginst pharma where poss, stick to essential oils and herbal remedies etc, even with the animals, you’d be amazed at the $$$ I’ve saved on vet bills with DIY therapies. (Obviously if I need to be stitched up or am about to go spectic with infection, I use modern medicine)). But for the most part, I think pharma is fuqed.

    davidl you are right, I need to leave him be. A lot of this has stemmed from not only the financial side of things (I am sorting that out), but also a shitload of family of origin angst that has been strirred up (he is back at his mother’s, he comes home for a day, then goes off the rails and disappears again for a week, igonring my calls). Plus being Leo Rising and the affliction affecting his face is a huge blow to his ego and vanity. There have been times when he’s had complete clarity around this, agrees totally with the stark hard truth I tell him, then the steroids kick in and it’s total denial and he’s feral again.

    In any relationship it takes two to tango. Yes he is irresponsible, and childish, and lazy, and his mother brought him up that way (his parents divorced when he was very young). I can lay the balme on me where it belongs – I have been surrogate mum – instead of setting boundaries from the start, I just did all the real life/admin/financial stuff. When I have set boundaries, he has come to the party – he just needed clear direction. (Which for me, who left home at 17, looked after an ill grandmother, and have always been self-reliant, is difficult to understand).

    I have not been completely innocent in the last 8 years. I am Gemini Rising with Virgo Moon in the 3rd. Hello? I have a wicked fuqing tongue. I know how my words can make people feel. It’s something I am working on. :) Ie., sometimes I should just keep my fuqing mouth shut. People have feelings and are not going to see things the way I do always.

    But the past is the past and I am just not quite understanding what is happening with him right now. I have supported him through every crisis. He has let me down so many times. I keep letting him.

    I can handle the animal duties, it’s just exhausting me. When we were together, our repective work situations and start/finish times meant the animals were not on their own for so many days and for so long. The “farm” animals are okay with this. It’s the dogs (all nine of them!) that are copping it the most, as they live closest to us. I now leave home at 7am, get home at 6pm, and am done with it all and can relax at 9pm. Th dogs are starting to act out as I just don’t have the time/energy for them that I used to give them before all this. (They’ll surive). I am a night-owl so am not getting nearly enough sleep. I am trying to eat well as I know if I get sick, the animals are fuqed. (Thankfully I am blessed with a strong constitution and very rarely get ill). But I am feeling very run down. Financially coping is another matter, and this is what scares me the most.

    I have one friend at work who is a great moral support. My folks are helping me finanacially in what limited ways they can. (They have their own health/emotional/financial problems (alcoholic/aggressive Saggo yougest brother giving them grief). I don’t have anyone who can physically help me, but that’s ok, I can manage it – hey, natal Mars square Pluto – I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life and always Phoenixed).

    There is no question about “getting rid of” the animals. Not an option. Yes I have to make some tough decisions and perhaps temporarily foster some of them, but I got involved with animals from day one virtually. I had a pet chicken for years as a child and always questioned with my parents why they were feeding me a dead version of my little cute friend “Pippy”. At age 15, in Eastern Europe (where my folks migrated from in ’69 and took me there on there their holidays) I witnessed the backyard slaughter of a goat and piglet for the festivities associated with my cousin’s birthday). I forced myself to watch this violence and from that day forth became vegan. At age 18 I became involved with the animal rights movement here in melbourne, burnt out after three years, took three years off, then went back for another three years campaigning for animal issues publicly. Burn out and political differences (every “movement:” has issues, let me tell you), I left again. Went and got myself a degree in nutrition at age 26 (let me tell ya, for someone who dropped maths/science in year 9 to focus on english/literature, chemistry did my fuqing head in!) But I graduated with high distinctions. I have taught myself averything I know about astro, gone from total novice-beginner to being able to interpret birth charts/do transit forecasts. So much still to learn! Can’t wait to learn it!

    I have an actual gyspsy background (from the Hungarian side – I am east-european mongrel), saved my pocket money and bought myself the Crowley-Thoth tarot deck at age 13 (which I still use!) I am often psychic (so is my mother) and warned my Pisces boy that something bad was coming. I did a reading for him which confirmed it. I often drink blue devil hoochie juice to stop the visions! I see too much.

    Anyway, soz everyone for the long rant, it actually helps to write it all down. Thnaks you for listening. Currently Pisces is at his mothers, he is being looked after, I am going to leave him alone for now and play it by ear. Like mentioned in a comment above, Toro’s do find it hard to let go when emotionally invested, and I do also see the good side in people. I can’t be an asshole just cause someone else is being one!

    xx

    • Yep, you can’t make someone learn, I’ve learn that too. You can be with someone as they learn their stuff but you can’t learn their stuff FOR them.

      Totes agree re: general pharma, have you checked out that book Bad Pharma by Ben Goldacre? Sure the industry does have its benefits, I don’t doubt that as have been the recipient myself, but it’s gone rampant with many, many examples of the classic deception + corporate greed. Balance anyway, along with some distance.
      (Which is what I mentioned earlier, some distance is good.)

      • Doctors getting financial kickbacks for every immunisation shot into a child? It’s fuqed. Natural immunity is best, I have never been immunised in my life, I have stepped on rusty nails, been bitten by dogs, had gashes. There is nothing wrong with a child putting some dirt in their mouth, it will do them well. They don’t ned a bubble around them. Pharma has benefits yes, I don’t discount it totally, use where appropriate, but why would a doctor prescribe antibiotics for a viral infection when antibiotics only kill bacteria?…and we just blindly take them, knocking out our intestinal flora, lowering our immunity, making ourselves more prone to the virus’ ways? I don’t get it…

        • With me, I’ve never had flu shots, and I got them anyway, two years in a row. I hadn’t experienced real, kicking your ass flu, so that was an experience and a half!
          Now my body knows what it is.

          And Pegs, there was a study done in Germany where they studied city toddlers and those raised near/on farms (where dirt’s more around basically) and yep, the dirt helped build up the country toddlers’ immune systems. Too clean is not healthy for us.

    • Dear gypsy toro, you might not even have time to open a can of beans right now, but have you thought about some crowdfunding (let us know if you do!), or fund-raising through your local shopping centre, maybe markets, … Get some vet science students (noticeboard at faculty office) to come out with you just to have some on backup..(even tho as u say, that’s not the hardest part)? I am so happy that people like you exist . A friend of a friend also in Vic rescues animals from abattoirs or unsafe situations and takes the Most beautiful photographs of them before usually finding a new home for some of them.

      • :) 12HV suggested kickstarter, there’s also Pozible although they require some sort of return for the $, not impossible, just needs some brainstorming! hey we can help!

  26. Saturn moving through Scorpio is bringing issues to a crunch point = where they really can’t be ignored. You seem to be doing all the giving, all the parenting, all the earthy stabilising, while Pisces goes off the rails because he ‘needs’ to. What about your safety? Your sanity? What would have happened to the animals if you had not been there? You cannot force / coerce someone with a drugs issue to change. He has to make the decision to take action.Until you set up boundaries he has the potential to wreck your life and your health. All the time you are being the rock, he has no reason to behave responsibly. No matter how much you love someone, violence/threats/abuse will never go away, but may subside – until the next time.Suppose his behaviour escalates ? What then? Sounds like being out in the wilds is not good for him. He needs boundaries and all the time you allow him to behave as he does, he will continue to do so. Best of luck to you Toro.

    • Totally agreeing with Helen’s logic. Toro you need to look at the bigger picture as an outsider and know your worth!

      Wouldn’t be Toro’s be affected by Saturn in Scorpio, I should as hell had a hellish time when Saturn was in Libra being an aries.

      • Yup, I cannot tolerate crap in relationships, with old-task master fuqhead Kronos/Saturn opposing in my 7th. It still hurts though. Right now it really hurts. I have spent so much of my life alone, that doesn’t frighten me, but I thought this one would work. It still could. If not, I am happy to be alone with my animals. (Obviously still needing a fuq now and then, lol).

        • What is your rising Toro? I think you said your Virgo moon was in 3rd, so….Cancer? Just wondering, if it is, that would mean Cap Pluto is/would be in 7th house. And nothing like Pluto to do a thorough job when visiting…

          Ignore if my calculations are wrong. :)

  27. Fellow Toro here & all I have to say is “Run, Gypsy, run!” We bulls stay in meadows too long after the grass has gone to seed, Take those seeds & plant another meadow ‘cuz the one you are in is filled with merde.

    I don’t say this without experience. I am guilty of several similar misjudgments & after more years than you have invested, I eventually walk away…it will be tough but letting go is one of Toro’s life lessons!

    • Yes, this is one of Taurus’ worst traits: sticking with an untenable situation out of some misguided sense of loyalty, long past the point when you should have quit. In fact, long past the point EVERYBODY is telling you that you should have quit long ago.

      Taurus is very loyal but you have to beware of people who don’t deserve your trust. Some will earn your trust and then abuse it.

  28. You clearly have a beautiful parenting instinct that extends to your partner. Most likely, his behaviour will get worse but if it makes you happier to stay with him than leave then stay. Get some professional support, draw upon that of your close friend and have your eyes open to the long term picture.

    Dark behaviours to avoid include blaming your partner for your unhappiness; drawing into your dilemma friends and new people who choose a more harmonious way of living and who will feel the energy seeping out of them just listening to you but at the same time not want to offend you; having affairs; really anything that passes the buck.

  29. Oh Gypsy Toro, you sound like a beautiful compassionate soul. If I were in Australia, I’d so aid you with the animals (I foster too!), but I’m a straight girl in the States–too far to help physically and again, I’m straight so I’m not hitting on you. :P

    That being said, I do have a few of points. First, someone above suggested a website to establish a charity to help you financially with the animal care. That’s a great solution. With your background in the animal rights community, I’m sure there is someone willing to help you establish that.

    Second, babe, you’re totally beyond love zombie behaviour. At one point in your comments you said you’re going to leave your ex, then at a later point, you wrote that there is still hope. You’re taking part in a co-dependent relationship. You are actually making your soon-to-be ex’s (I hope!) addiction stronger by being “his rock.” Let me repeat as this is very important, YOU ARE MAKING HIS ADDICTION STRONGER. As such a compassionate person, you don’t see it. You love him and are helping him live in the “real world.” However, by doing this you are aiding him in his escapism by providing him with a safe haven. You can’t help him, but you can save yourself. With your Neptune Jupiter/Venus, I’m sure you’ve read about the disposition for being a martyr. This is the very common manifestation of being a martyr. You’re taking the pain from someone else and getting attention for it. Sweet Toro, you don’t realize that you’re worth the love you want. Please don’t stay in this sitch as it will only hurt the both of you in the long run. And again, you are worth the love you want .

    Next, honey, you gotta lay off the blue devil juice. I’ve got a strong Neptune too (Sun, Moon conjunct Neptune in the 6th and the Sun and Moon have seven astroids conjunct as well) so I get your “seeing too much.” Practice your bubble. Your personal boundary that no one gets to cross. Believe me, it helps with all the “extras” that come with strong Neptunes. I’ve found that alcohol and other various “specials” only make the boundary with the Neptune blur. I know you wrote that it helps with the pain, but really, the only way to get rid of your emotional pain, is to feel it. Sorry, but there are no short cuts here babe. I’m sure that any of your practicing kinsmen/women will tell you the same thing too–no alcohol for sensitives!

    Last, do not do this alone. I know that you can and you’ve said you’ve done it in the past, but maybe this time (Saturn/Scop and all) you do it differently–with others. You’ve already started with you’re one good friend at work. Now is the time to let others know of your need and accept the help. I’m sure that sounds crazy for you on some level, but as sweet and compassionate as you are, there are people out there who want to help you and you don’t even realize it. Think of it like this, every time someone offers to help you with the farm/foster animals and you say no, it’s like telling them that they’re aid is not worth it to you. It’s a subtle thing, but it’s part of that whole martyr complex. Turning those people down feed your “poor me I’ve gotta do it alone” complex. Now this isn’t being said to offset your incredible self-reliance and independence. Those are admirable qualities and what you’ve done in the past with those character traits is commendable, but those are choices you made in the past. The here and now is a different sitch than those in your past (that you’ve outlined anyway). Call those animal rights buddies who owe you. They can help with the animals. Let your friends help you and you’ll find unexpected rewards.

    I wish you the best Gypsy Toro! The road you walk is the road you chose.

  30. I don’t know if your area has this, but I’d recommend Codependents Anonymous or Alanon. They are 12-step groups, and even if you don’t believe in a higher power, they are powerful sources of support and insight. Although Alanon is about loved ones of alcoholics, but it can apply to anyone who is close to someone with a substance abuse problem. Best of luck!!

  31. You are a mess honey..even if you wanted to leave this man you are not prepared to do so. Stop making excuses for you and him and please stop airing your private (very identifiable life I am sure) to the poplulus…and looking for blame. Astrology is a tool..that is all..it can be uncanny and telling especially by MM..but it does not replace free will, choice and morality. Go work this through in a structured way… say with a psychologist….and don’t expect miracles on day 1….it could take 18 months… Break free from your past and your perception of the stars and decide what is right and wrong for you. Then act on it and CHANGE your life for you and noone else so that you then live the best life that you are here to live… leave the rest to the universe…and if anyone including pisces man chooses to follow your trail blazing that is up to them. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news…it is time to grow up!! Good luck.

    MM – spot on!

  32. Kick him to the kerb. Don’t be a co-dep love zombie. You have a life to live. Without bruises of a physical or mental nature.

  33. Who are we to decide if someone is an addict or not?

    Alanon family groups is a 12 step group for the family and friends of alcoholics and addicts.

    The central message of that Alanon is the “we all have the power to make our own choices”.

    You have the choice to stay, you have the choice to leave.

  34. See MM’s post “lady you don’t need an astrologer…”
    Sorry if that’s harsh and makes me unpopular here but there’s only so much you can tolerate as a human being. For sake and the animals. They are your responsibility and your family too.
    Astro or no astro
    Take care of you
    X

  35. I have so much to say in response to all this that I’ve taken time to say anything at all – which doesn’t mean that its an improvement :-)
    Thank you davidl for being the voice of reason here and bringing things into balance – like you my husband worries about me when I’m getting buried under mountains of paperwork & financial jugglings!
    He is also on steroids for COPD. yes it has made him aggressive and also paranoid, we have worked with that.
    But what I want to say is that long-term relationships are hardwork. Things happen – life happens & we sometimes need to re-access whether or not it’s worth it for us. I stood by my husband 12 years ago, when everyone was telling me not too and I was right. Things aren’t always as simple as they may seem from the outside. Those that are still around now, may think I was lying or exaggerating about what was going on – I wasn’t – we just needed help & didn’t get the help we needed – and I don’t really care what they think either. I had a moment of grace and just knew I was doing the right thing.
    Right now I’m a little fed up that I’m always the carer, I’m the anchor, the one who holds everything together, sorts out all the problems etc., How much of that’s of my own making? I’m not sure right now. I’ll probably stick it out because despite everything he’s my best friend – I wouldn’t be who I am now without him and when I see some of the fuqwits around I am so glad I took this path.
    When you live with someone who is ill – whatever the cause. You may find you have to look harder for what they contribute to the relationship and sometimes it can be really hard to see when everyday life is just a relentless slog for you & they seem to be in bed sleeping all day………. I also think it’s harder when that illness hasn’t come about as part of the aging process.
    Whether you’re married or not if you make a commitment to someone remember that traditional marriage vows go something like – for better or for worse, in sickness & in health – it’s serious stuff.
    Don’t get me wrong I am not sentimental, I believe in tough love and I have really put him though his paces, because ill or not he has got responsibilities to others too and has needed to find a way of fulfilling that obligation that may go against the traditional marital roles.
    His housekeeping skills have really put my Virgo moon through it’s paces, though it seems to be softening :-)
    Stamina, flexibility & humor are key. Learning to pace yourself to reduce the burnout, by recognising the early signs really helps, but if you do it may give your partner the opportunity for a short time to repay you in kind – which can be really nourishing for both concerned.
    The first major thing I learned was it’s OK to appear selfish – because if you can’t look after yourself, you can’t be at your best to look after anyone else.
    That’s enough preaching for now – not really sure if it helps. But take care & I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you x

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