Neptune In The Suburbs

Stripes on the skirt, the dead fish necklace, a little bit of Blue Devil Hoochie Juice at the bottom of the Evian bottle, looking around for some other bit of the house to paint in a fuqed up unrequited Love Zombie neurotic trance, crap hair product bought during p.m.t but now feels she has to use up, turned the phone off and put in the freezer, high off the turps in the bucket, just blew her botox money tallking to a tele-psychic who kept calling her ‘doll’ and who had a common accent, wondering if the lady with her tits out picture that her ex gave her is fuqing up her Feng Shui, listening to Ennio Morricone to the point that the neighbors complained – YES PEOPLE, challenging Neptune-Venus Transits happen in the suburbs as well.


Image: Mario Testino -Vogue

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36 thoughts on “Neptune In The Suburbs

  1. Mystic, I think you should provide a service to ‘blocked’ novelists who need ideas for a new, multi-layered main character. Your astro profiles are so satisfyingly complex and three-dimensional.

    • Please please please just write a novel! Seriously a series of them would be awesome, cause….you know you have all that spare time at 2am right? :)

      • Seconding this! The world badly needs a good bit of hysterical and creative modern literature filled with astrology references to peek through the pixels of nooks and kindles.

        Or at least your followers would adore that, though I daresay it would be a bestseller either way.

          • well the plot – is that important? – tell the publisher to read some Nouveau Roman and refresh his/her taste. love your writing style Mystic. amusing and inspiring. not boring at all. i would buy your novel.

  2. I do beg your pardon. But have you been hiding cameras in my house? I identify a little too strongly with this image.

    And the Ambivalent Leo is still on the scene. I love not trying to impress people: It’s so liberating. I can just be whatever I am at that minute and not give a rat’s what they think of me. aahhhh

  3. Is it just me or are you creeped out by the white pair of legs in the background just laying there?

    • Definitely!

      This is the first woman i have seen who can really wear that blue. Maybe it’s cos the contrast trim softens it…. or because she’s Pisces. Hmmm. Truly a wierd thing to wear a dead fish.

      Had to wince. Done a few mini-rennos as break up therapy.

      Great writing, Mystic!

      • I think shes Toro. the eyes/brows.
        the fish is a red herring
        they often eat pretty much anything.

        • You could be right we do have a matching blue theme… Hang on to relationships way to long… Secretely devour the moon dust / blue juice whatever.. All the whilst painting the world a more aesthetically pleasing place… single toro’s kinda scary kinda tripped out

          • ‘painting the world a more aesthetically pleasing place’…thats familiar of a toro-esse that I know (she’s very arts admin) :)

            taking another closer look at that photo and I’m thinking that models styled that way. Toroified but with significantly bigger hair.
            It is sometimes hard to tell in these fashion images.

    • fairly confused by the decor in general. are there easels sitting on top of tables? though it is cool how the painting and legs make a full body (i think).

      no way taurean. do you see that coffee maker? unacceptable!!

    • Mannekin legs. This women is also quite the artist. I think she painted the painting in the background not a gift from the ex. πŸ˜‰
      As a painter sniffing turps can be quite fun (by accident of course!)

  4. Work it .. Work it …. Own it….
    Oh god. Just been offered great money remote island location over summer… Thinking of taking it … “to fuck you unrequited love”… Ok .. Ainslie… Maybe if you don’t go remote you might actually meet someone you can have,whilst being a beach bum in Noosa…lol drama queen… Would the person in question even noticEd?

    • great money? summer? island location? fuq off unrequited love? by golly. If that whole scenario doesn’t scream YES! Yes! Yes! then I don’t know what does :)

  5. Oh god Mystic this is hilarious, thanks for the laugh – if only she was blonde, had pasta bloat and was still in her dressing gown at 2pm, this could be me.
    Currently caught in the middle of an Ideal v Reality smackdown in all areas of my life. Saturn-Neptune trine I guess. Ouch. I must have missed some alert re Venus Neptune madness? *Goes back to bed*

  6. Petty, angsty blowup with my ever loving mum ended with me accusing her of blah-blah-blah from childhood – Venus squares my natal Moon in the 9th and I’m rehashing hash in stereotypical avoid-the-moment fashion. Happily, I believe Venus’s transit through my 12th is protecting me from LZ tendencies as she is also square my natal delusional Neptune. LZism is my go-to ‘safe space’ though surprisingly enough I’ve adapted to a love/sex desert which couldn’t be happening at a better time as I’m already all over the place with life altering plans.

    Neptune is kinda wreaking havoc with Sun-Merc-Saturn oppositions when what I NEED is focus, stability and self-confidence but I’m balancing some very nice Jupiter aspects keeping my shit together and my general outlook sparkly and intake quite abundant. I love MM’s story profiles as well, I feel like I’m living in a fantastic astro-neighborhood xox

  7. I think she’s actually decluttering her wardrobe. There are things she knows she hasn’t worn but can’t ditch them cos…well…this thing is genuine Zampatti, and this shirt was a Stuart Membery original (am i going back too far πŸ˜‰ ?) So she decides to try them on and if she likes wearing them for a day or an afternoon she knows they’re keepers.

    Unfortunately she doesn’t realise the real test is to do it without liquor, without distraction and without staying in the house, away from public reaction.

    Any place with disembodied tits and legs should be deemed too Neptunian to make a proper functioning decision in. It reminds me of a friend’s garden, pairs of mannequin legs growing up out of the dirt everywhere, toes arcing delicately towards the sky.

    • Actually, as Neptunian as this seems on surface (perhaps due to unfortunate transit), I am agreeing with the above guesses that she might be Taurus/Leo/Scorpio configuration.

      I have a Taurus/Scorp friend who has a painting studio full of body parts (not real of course, but dolls and mannequins pulled from dumpsters etc)

      • Oh wait!!! *almost spits coffee out* I didn’t even read your last paragraph!

        My Tau/Scorp friend has these same body parts sticking out at odd places in her very lavish garden. When it snows, she runs out first thing and sticks more in the snow:)

        I do love her though.

  8. Had challenging moment at work with princess libra – spelt her name wrong and she had to tell 3 peope inclusing myshe devil scopion boss , She was so upset about it FFS . I stormed out saying I was upset too. will expect crap tomorrow but wish wish i could leave like now.

  9. a part from the sandals i love everything she’s wearing! love the colours as well!
    i’m fond of the electric blue, makes me feel so tuned up with my Aqua . and the hair are just wonderful.