In Saturn’s Rings We Feel No Pain

People, Saturn has been in Scorpio for bit a few days. We are all still easing into it, yes? If in doubt, DO go check out my Saturn in Scorpio Horoscopes till 2015 in the menu bar. They are about as crazy-fresh and reassuring as i can make them without being a nutter. I mean, it is still Saturn and this is Scorpio.

Who HASN’T been feeling a little bit more paranoid and on edge than usual? Note also the escalating amount of muck-raking revelations all over the place. Obviously Saturn sextile Pluto & those two in mutual reception adds an extra oomph to the already heavy-enough Zap Zone.

Something to remember, as we settle in for our psychic colonic Saturn transit – it is trine Neptune till late 2013.  So the temptation to escape Saturn crap via Neptunian substances could be stronger for many peeps but so too is the fabulous effect from haute Neptunian things – hypno, meditation, energy work etc.

So anyway, what are your thoughts on all this? Evolving? Devolving? Comfortably Numb? Viciously spreadsheeting your way through this? Remember; Saturn loves a plan.

 

Image: Amy Hamilton

84 thoughts on “In Saturn’s Rings We Feel No Pain

  1. Ugh..most definitely indulging the Neptunian aspect thus far, but also equally revving the yoga/meditation, so here’s hoping haute will overtake and overthrow.

    • Yes. A weird balance. I totes want more Blue Devil Hoochie (and other things of that ilk) and yet I’m also craving the yoga / meditation / spirit work … Can we thrive with both, perhaps? Map out a calendar for the days we indulge vs the days we cleanse / detox? :)

  2. Paranoia definitly my new bed fellow… Sooooo not me.. and I can’t say I like it.

    I just keep telling myself the last scorp Saturn transit gave birth to my sensational brothers..

    • Good point! My gorgeous youngest son born 2.11.83 is also due his Saturn return now. He is also getting married on 23 Dec. Totally NO acceptance of astrology so not open to discussion. I can only hope being born with these stars makes one immune?? (His partner is a lovely Aquarian and they are great together)

  3. hmmm, i dunno-i still feel massively better now saturn is off my late libra moon, really, the last couple of years have had me face down in the mud (so to speak) with Saturn’s boot on the back of my neck…things feel positively light an easy at the moment…

    • Oh completely agree as fellow libran! Was positively bouyant in Oct..even now have a bit of a cruisey glow on but also goin mad on the spreadsheets..very therapeutic

      • ooh-might have to get into that, spreadsheets actually sound attractive at the mo…

  4. My plan is to quit my job at the end of the year/ beginning of the new year. My Sagg boss is a micro-managing minge and I have had enough. However, I would like give myself some time to find another job and perhaps be able to put in a year so I can reap retirement investments. Sigh. So hard because the woman is intolerable. Gossipy cold-hearted meticulously scheming woman.

    • Oh I have a few of those at work as well. Really nice to your face but tear you to shreads behind your back. Funny thing is they sit outside my office and don’t relise I can hear everything they say. I am bringing back the word moles.

  5. Hmmmmmm. No paranoia. Since Saturn hit Scorpio I’ve felt much more powerful. However this weekend was so Neptunian…. In such a scorpionic way! The whole weekend was a haze of alcohol and doing things I NEVER thought I would. Incredibly bad sex with a (just turned) 20 year old who told me after that I was “such a lucky girl” for getting to sleep with him. Okay…… Then the next night I got a huge speil from a work mate at his leaving party about how much he loves his fiancé and he cheated on her once and he’d never do it again blah blah blah. I thought “whatever – you’re just another cheating, lying bastard”…. So I kissed him! Then he tried to convince me to sleep with him! Yeah, sure buster!

    Anyway – got a few things out of my system…. And some tonsillitis in my system and now I’m ready to keep going forward.

    • Oh! But the best thing about it is I broke the “ex seal” – first guy I’ve slept with since the ex. So even if it was hands down the worst (seriously, sorry to be graphic but when his hand was down there I thought he was trying to dig his way to Mexico or something!) it served a very important purpose.

      • I don’t mean to laugh at your pain but the part about digging to mexico just made me snort water I was drinking.

    • Yes what is it with the wave of tonsillitis at the moment?! Me included :(. Sounds like it was cathartic Woohoo, been doing the same myself….sex after the ex. But he is waaaaaaay better than anyone before him. xx

  6. Neptune is cnj my Sun… I’m actually digging getting beamed. Pluto cnj my Asc & Uranus cnj my Moon…

    Don’t listen to me though. Arthur or Martha scenario goin’ on, in my neck of the woods!

  7. At this juncture, low Neptunian methods of “transcendence” feel like anything but; more like a Qi depleter rather than a boost. I have way too much to do to let some shit like that slow me down and temper my Awesome. So it’s haute all the way, baby, with the brilliant Scorp sun warming my skin.

    • I agree. I decieded I would have ONE drink while out on the town on Friday and my body seemed to reject the idea. I took a few sips and tossed it out in favor of just water. There is just to much to do to not be in tip-top condiditon. I guess I’m even feeling it on a cellular level.

      • YES I am on board with the all or nothing at the moment. Like….why even bother, then?

    • i worked out that some bad habits are Lo Saturn in Taurus 6th house for me. My bod doesn’t want, my soul doesn’t want but some vestige of concrete says oh come on this is what we do. It’s in the neural pathway. Ah 6th house! Just like Lo Virgo to be so insistent, plus cranky about it, and just like Lo Taurus to fold its arms and hulk down. So i have to keep feeding all that Earth with good good sensations! Make it crave that.

      I’m well over liquor though. I have tried it and it’s a chore. Oversensitive to it. Feel like some sort of full soul-body nausea. Never manage to finish a drink. Tastes very chem, as it always did.

      • mmm. tr. saturn just into my 6th opposing my taurus stuff is giving me the same message. yelling loud and clear:”don’t buy that loaf of bread! don’t buy the goddamn cheese!!” mind, body, and spirit are saying, and yet taurean neural pathways just keep on like they’ve always done, oblivious, “oh, we’re hungry, how ’bout some bread, mmm and some cheese…”

  8. Hell ya!! This feels much much better…evolving at high speed now that Saturn is off my Aries planets. Its great!! Yes some obsessions feel bigger now but its what you obsess on that matters…like health maybe.work.etc not people!!! In the transit from Libra to Scorpio l be seen lots of death around me…the bad news kept dripping but now things feel ok again. It just feels like there is more power to tap into again and that’s great!! So yes evolving at last!

  9. The weekend was a blur of Halloween costume parties and concerts. Love October it’s my favorite time of the year!
    Had a few drinks but didn’t overindulge all the yoga and meditation paid off. Saturn in Libra 12th House lessons: Balance is key!
    Feeling much better since Saturn moved into Scorpio.

  10. I don’t want to speak to soon but I’m feeling good. I think a little clearer and full of some kind of force since the move of Saturn. I hope it lasts, I could really do with the push. I’m horribly, infuriatingly restless though for adventure, guessing that’s just Mars in Sag hovering over my Moon/Mars and activating my already restless inner nature. Currently trying to keep with the Scorping and work out how I can combine adventure with being sensible and taking life to the next level in terms of work/money/home. Perhaps travel first and/or some kind of combination?

    • I also have PMT which means I’m crying about the thought of leaving my animal soulmate while I have said adventure, I wish you could just travel with cats like humans. She doesn’t go outside ever anyway.

  11. I got two apologies from lost friends for breakfast. I knew the “secrets” so…the apologies weren’t news to me. It is a nice sign though for me to stay the course. The fact people treat reality as option is beyond me. I hate secrets. The Scorping is challenging me to own my power, but with patience. It’s a strange vibe, but I dig it over Saturn in Libra.

  12. I spent like almost half my weekend watching “Autoluminescent” the documentary on Rowland S. Howard. OMG so many feels for this eel. His songs make me think I knew him in another life.

      • Oh yeah me too, that doco was on ABC a few months back and I still think about it, got a copy of Teenage Snuff Film, Howard was an absolute genius and all of the attention went to Cave, whom I loathe. Overrated narcissist IMO.

        • you too? i think nick cave is ok but way over rated. lol i looked at their astro to try to do synastry with cave and howard and both of them are cuspy born near libra, cave on the virgo side and howard on the scorp side.

      • it took me forever to track it down. i don’t think it’s been officially released to the u.s. yet.

    • He has that very ethereal presence doesn’t he? This is going to sound a bit weird, but last year was a strange one – his presence was all over Melbourne, it was like he was still around and everyone was waking up to it. Definite Rowland renaissance, which is fantastic because in my opinion, he’s one of Australia’s very best songwriters. His music is transcendant.

      • im from the states and i can assure you he’s got a following still alive and well here too. i had gotten a feeling R.S.H. left a lot of work undone when he passed on so it’s sort of this haunting tragic thing.

        • If you like RSH you may like the Triffids – post-punk band from my part of the world. The Triffids’ David McComb was another who sadly left us too soon. In addition to his work with the Triffids he was a frighteningly good poet, with a small volume published some years after his death. To think of all the beautiful words and music that didn’t get written. Such a loss. x

  13. hey guys, its been awhile, kinda miss this, anywho, I feel like I am internally growing somehow, but this time its not in a measurable outright kind of way, usually i can theorize everything that happens to me in an endless analytic chatter, sometimes even having a sort of fake progress, as in I understand things conceptually better, but am no different for it, but now I feel like something is paying off, like the things I valued and prioritized, authenticity and internal depth, are finally paying off but not in any measurable way yet and not in any sort of progression of conceptual understanding which I guess up until this point was a sort of pseudo progress that really did not do anything, now i feel a lot more, I dunno, secure with myself, before there was a constant anxiety I was missing something, that I was out of the loop, and I gave up and just came to terms with the fact I was kind of a loser for not being able to get college friends, and decided to focus on the long con, on even more authenticity and becoming the best me, even though I did the anxiety and feeling left out never ceased, but now for some reason I dont care anymore, I ended up getting soccer buddies and finally am going to parties, but I told myself not to expect anything, I even told myself out loud over and over “you arent going to get a girl” before the first party with them and because of it I ended up having tons of fun
    for the longest time it felt like I was on the edge of just letting go of everything, whenever I was riding in someones car or waiting in line or anything like that I zone out so intensely and I just stop existing, and I feel like I never want to leave that state, I never want to arrive, but I also felt ashamed this was my truest me, and like I needed to hide it, and felt embarresed by it, I realized my life was like this anxiety ridden scramble to be able to safely zone out, to get to a place in life where I could go there longer and longer, and how could I go there later if I didnt do my homework and work hard, in a roundabout way I was only involved so I could safely be un-involved, and I realized everything was just this big attempt to hide this, but that is the real me, and I have been scared for so long of admitting that, the nothing, and I realized I was scared to be this, and I was hiding from this, so I let go, of I dont know what, and I have never felt better, it was like a religious experience, again all this I conceptually understood already, but suddenly I became this realization, I realized I can have that nothingness, that everythingness, whenever I wanted, that it was me, my whole life has been the search for this realization, and subsequent retreat when I got too close, seeking myself, fleeing myself, and now on accident all of a sudden I realized everything on a level I never have before, I am the car ride, the busy line, the dream, anyways blah blah blah, just though I would drop by and share the good news, I know it doesnt make much sense and im rambling but it was a big deal, I feel like I finally realized myself, I achieved mundane enlightenment I guess you could say, dunno what astro that would be, probably the neptune saturn trine Im guessing

    • basically I realized the internal process was the most important thing to me, and as long as I was doing that, everything will align externally with my correct self in due time and fall in to place

      • It sure will re-align itself David, holding the hand of the doubting doomsayer inside ie. Im not going to get a girlfriend, telling that part that, it will happen and she is going to be a beautiful spiritually aware person, we will compliment each other, and share sunrises/sunsets together, can be a lighter lifting soul/spirit feeling. That doubting part of ourselves never seems to go away, but becoming its uplifting optimistic reassuring friend is more freeing than becoming its partner in crime.
        Sounds like your having a beautiful inner growth spurt David.
        Tis lovely to read you’re having this metamorphosis beautiful young man.
        xx

        • thanks so much
          inner growth spurt is a really good way of putting it ha, I could always understand everything intellectually but I feel like just living and maturing through experiencing things would grow me more than anything, and humorously I intellectually knew that as well, it feels really good to change like this, i dont really know how to put it

      • I like this, increasing this state is my goal and hopefully this astro-weather will help me accomplish it…..read Flow years ago but it didn’t resonate with me much. I guess I am more attracted to exercises or practical methods of harnessing unconsciousness rather than the systematic study of it.

      • Thank you for the reference J. I have just returned from a 9 day Vipassana retreat of total silence in the bush. Awesome growth period.
        ” I am the car ride, the busy line, the dream,” love that line D. Glad to hear ur getting internal realisation. Funny, I always pictured you as a man in his mid life. Maybe because you already have much wisdom, but perhaps haven’t realised it fully.
        So, for me, with Scorpio MC, I am finally coming home…fags out the window, meditation mat on the floor…may you be happy peeps.

      • I dont think I have been more dissociating in a negative way, just from the things that dont matter, if anything I feel like I have accepted my need to dissociate and in a round about way feel more synced up, the line between antisocial and just letting go is a bit blurry, appreciate it though

        • Detaching is good, just letting things be, I like that. I also have had to learn that lesson this year. You have many people who care about you here. Good luck to you, being free to be yourself brings you the kind of people you want in your life.

          • it really feels like a community, and I love contributing and commenting, biggest assortment of cool evolved people by far the internet has to offer

    • David, all that chatter, and things you feel are pseudo realisations, and fear and being in the zone, and letting go abd everything. They’re all you and they build up layers and layers of you. And you just more comfortable with them, and sometimes when they don’t fit anymore you shrug them off. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s a whirlwind of doubt. But withinh all that you’re still you and you, sound to me, like you are doing just fine in this world. xxo

  14. At the beginning of October I was going haywire with the Neptune juice and prescription space dust, which –especially with alcohol — is very unlike me. I slept a lot and went through a mourning period for a few things in my life that I was still sad about, then when I finally got tired of wallowing (three days straight of nightmares, sleep, and crying, people. three days!) I made a committment to stop and take responsibility for my life instead of feeling sorry for myself, escaping through substances, and trying to control others.

    Today is day 9 of no booze or cigarettes and taking my meds responsibly. I feel so, so much better already! I handled so many things I was putting off, both admin-related and also facing emotions and the truth about changed situations then allowing myself to feel them completely until they passed. In loving myself more I feel I am finally able to accept things as they are and in recognizing what my bad habits are motivated by I can trust in the future (cheesy but true). I’m making long term plans and taking everything moment by moment. Small improvements….first sobriety and next up (this week) is getting my healthy diet back (which I also abandoned, which is also very unlike me!).

    • You must be so proud of yourself. There is much to honour in your life. Inspiring – milleunanotte xx

    • Kudos on day 9. I’m on day 18 of no cigs myself, and booze is way down but not gone. Your resolve is admirable!

      • Past the two week mark, you beat it!

        Everyone has their own form of struggle every day but yeah, I am proud and I feel like I am on my own team for the first time in a long time. Which is how everyone should be, naturally! Why is it so hard sometimes…

  15. Am feeling a bit rattled this morning… second guessing myself.. I guess its that restlessness for action MM been on about now! :) Not entirely comfortable for sure but by comparison to Scorp in Libra its a much much more comfortable place…. I have Scorp NN so I’m thinking about it as a re calibration!

  16. Neptunian substances made me high-dial my ex-lover, declare undying love, impulsively introduce him to my parents, consider marriage, then split with him the same day.

    Intense.

  17. I’m a little more concerned with the short term Scorpio issues, like the Sun Conjunct Saturn coming up in the next few days. Looks like a good time for self-restriction, like my current effort at quitting smoking.

    • i hope you can work that Taurus Sun somehow. Don’t forget water…the very sound of Saturn, Sun, Scorpio with Taurus in the mix makes me feel parched :)

  18. Wish I could figure out what the Sun conjuct Saturn coming up square Sun will mean for me. Double dose of lessons for the will no doubt. Just have to be humble and work hard. Heh.

  19. Saturn moving through the square to natal Saturn/Asc/Mars conjunction, then on to conjunct Uranus. Drawing to the end of a very stressful period and yes, saturns been stirring up some shite. At least I recognise where it’s coming from, though that doesn’t reduce the anxiety, although hopefully reduce the likelihood I’ll do something silly because of it. Lots of deep breathes and sighs instead. And writing lists and waiting.

    • Oh, and so the Saturn/Neptune trine links up to make a crazy squares/inconjuncts shape in my chart that pulls in just about all of my personal planets. Neptune square Sun/Merc conjunction, which is sextile my Asc conjunction. Saturn transit inconjunct the Sun stuff, Neptune transit inconjunct the Asc stuff. I’m just sitting here on my couch in my pyjamas wondering what the fuck happens next.

  20. Yes. I am here in Ireland now and so much processing, more for my mother, I am not sure how to define my role here but erm, interesting to say the least. So much family squabbling though, like, centuries of it. Digging around for the facts on her Da’s family tomorrow. Using saturn in Scorpio like part miner part detective. Sifting through shit to find gold and investigating the scene to piece the puzzle back together. Trying not to do neptune sauce here but it’s kind of mandatory but I’ll go back to no drinking when I hit home again. For now my liver and I are guests in another persons home.

  21. hm, no untoward desires to drink over here but then boozing for the f*** of it has always been a purely fun thing for me (neptune saggy)… so it isn’t first resort in a crisis.

    But has anyone else been having weirdo paranoiac delusions… i.e. the milkman is gonna walk in on one of your cheese pizza binges & call the cops or sthing equally unlikely, but worrisone in a disturbing, psychotic kinda way? I have. Perfect example: 3 days ago I broke a glass near my bed & I’m still checking the pillows & sheets for debris despite having changed em – convinced I’ll get a cut from a stray shard while drifting off. Totally not like me – I’m normally a mercury-virgo logic-o-phile. However I do have a deep seated fear of broken glass & it looks like, since my scorp – moon subconcious is totally running the show, that overrules any of my concious efforts to control my worries.

    Anyone else got sthing similar going on?

    by the way Anonymous: all offices have gossips i.m.e., you’re just noticing them more now. Ignore it!!

  22. so have been drinking a fair amount lately due to new amazing neighbors, and feeling it intensely. have absolutely no desire for any sort of intoxication beyond sitting in front of the fire with some nice fresh weed, and yet neptune is just falling in my lap. clearly a scorpio saturn lesson will be about boundaries. and a spine.

  23. Been feeling Good and Strong no longer upset about Breakup with ex girl friend .
    Been battling the allergies cold for 3weeks . Took charge this week end started detoxing , feeling better . Commited to going thru Panchakarma . Will start in 7 days preparations now going with consultations . Determine to get back to my sensible self of , mind body , spirit . No alcohol . Yoga and weights . But first getting rid of the toxicity of this last relationship and my very own toxic way to deal with it . Like Mystic says ” Stay stuck and you are fuq . That means in all areas .
    Getting clear with my self !

  24. Saturn has crossed over my Libra Asc and I’m like… I bid thee ado’, goodbye and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Fuq u, Fuq u, you’re cool, I’m out.

    I’ve pushed hard the last few years and now I’m tired. I need cake, sexy time, and sleep.

  25. Very paranoid, very jittery, on edge…yes. Not liking it and have used both the blue devil juice and yoga/meditation/acupuncture to deal with it. I really monitor the blue devil, because it saps my energy and takes me off course. Without it, I feel better, so I don’t know why I do it. I don’t do it often, though, so that’s good.

    Have also had this drop in confidence-type experience, sort of out of nowhere.

    Kind of just towing the line at work right now, things ok, but I need more work, just working part time and feel trapped financially because of it. Mad at myself for that, for not getting more work by now, but no use beating myself up.
    Because of this, have to get housemates in to help pay rent, so there-in lies the rub……have had a hell of a time choosing the right people and have been having some nightmare people/situations here. If I had more work, I wouldn’t have to have housemates…..voila! ….but hasn’t proven easy to get more work…….it’s a conundrum and driving me nuts, actually……can’t relax, can’t sleep well, so………paranoia and jittery-ness sets in……round and round it goes……

    Saturn now transiting my 5th house. I have been practicing guitar and singing again, and this gives me solace. I put it in the category of soothing my paranoia and jitters, just like meditation/yoga…etc… Still have a feeling that I’m missing something, though, like I’m off-track in some way…..can’t put finger on it……..the low confidence thing is making me feel like a loser….I don’t feel sorry for myself, though, I feel angry with myself.
    Perhaps Saturn in Scorpio is making me look at my self-hatred?

    I probably need to start with all of this by just being KIND to myself…..and taking some deep breaths, or just BREATHING more in general!

  26. Busy with new business – loving the challenge, but lonely as all fuq, sensing Merc Rx tech issues will rear their ugly head, wondering when $$ will come together so I can stay afloat.

    Trying to stay grounded and relatively sane but have to be really conscious about it and to turn off monkey mind. Realise need for good systems of exercise and nutrition so doing what I can to have those in place.

    Saturn and Sun about to be trining my Saturn in Pisces (4 degrees) – so yup Neptune and Chiron are conjunct my natal Saturn. Jupiter rx also about to be conjunct my natal sun in Gem. So the astro potential is there…just gotta find moolah this week.

    • oh and also my native Venus in Cancer – although that is being hit on by Uranus and Pluto.

  27. Well I’ve been rolling w the punches today… Is just like to say there is a mass amount of dysfunction in my workplace, and today I’ve decided to roll withit Teflon style and not let the shit stick… It’s out of purely desperate preservation mode that I’m having to do this….

    I just have to refuse to try and solve other (more well paid) people’s errors… I mean they will just put it onto me if I get overly involved and try and problem solve…

    I’m soothing myself w plans to get out!

  28. Was thinking that this Saturn in water must have a positive effect on some watery types.

    E.g. I have a Cancer Stellium & MC in H20 that are trining Saturn as it progresses through Scorpio.

  29. “Note also the escalating amount of muck-raking revelations all over the place”. you bet and not me

  30. this morning I met someone who reckoned she had just had an aha moment today. She said “I have been a psychic reader for many years. today i just woke up and realised- it’s all complete bullshit” …the convo from then got more interesting about the nature of time etc…

    This kind of Saturn Scorping I can dig , much.

    The type where my brother has wasted away to a shadow, is now missing, and has my mother in a state of constant vigilante christian prayer against demonic possession, well, I am kinda wondering if Neptune and Uranus are a bit tangled up in trying to settle a Saturn score there…

    Sex life renewal- most appreciated ;)

  31. How are the Pluto in Scorp people feeling it? I imagine they are coming into their own at the mo’.

  32. Im appreciating everything ~myself, my freedom, my friends, my enemies, my secrecy, my revelations.

  33. Thanks Mystic…. I was the one asking for a saturn post yesterday… I went back and looked over your saturn in scorp horoscopes until 2015… that definitely gave me focus…

    I know how to do this… Ive done it before… I have very little resistance… but its a whole new ball game now… and Saturn is digging out areas of myself and psyche that are unruly, not in alignment with saturns game… shit I don’t know how saturn is finding these except with scorpios ability for deep secretive investigations…. I mean I didn’t even know these things about myself and I swear if I was any more self reflective i would be smashing my head against a mirror…

    So I’m finding the balance between what to let slide and what to stand up for, I’m working out how to communicate with unaware people (failing terribly)…. ahhhh gawddddd…. I just thought a minute ago that I might just go quiet for the next month… like not say anything at all outside of basic essentials… just shut down… which is like hell for me cause I love communicating… but I AM failing at it!!!! after all this time of doing so well at communicating it is evident to me that I am no longer doing so well at it… this is more like pluto in aciton though if you ask me… it is destroying to recreate… i should see if there is any aspect to my mercury… but then pluto currently transiting north node in third house… house of communication and natural ruler of my sun sign… maybe thats it… Im having a fucking communication rebirth!!! fuck fuck fuck…. recently on retreat buddhist vipassna thing… I found the precept I broke was right speech… by swearing of course, and not just swearing but I was furious and swearing…. nothing wrong with that in the right context maybe like standing up for someone’s rights… which I have to do to, and have to learn how to be more assertive with this and not sound whiney when representing people… fuck me… I need to learn… right thats it… See MM this thread was perferct Ive had a major realisation… Thank you, lOve your work xxx

  34. (As per Mystic’s suggestion)

    I’ve timed exchanging contracts on a flat for 12/11 (I thought 11/11 until I checked the calendar …), completion due 12/12 or thereabouts. Madness yeah? Mercury retrograde plus Saturn in Scorpio. Thing is, I’m looking forward to the move – the place has has space and light, a spare room and a wee garden (perfect for the wee black cat), all in inner London. So, yeah, the flat’s across the road from the local hospital’s clap clinic. And the psychosexual clinic. And the midwives’ house. And the dental clinic. But that’s all of life, all in one place, yes. Also, potentially convenient, yes? Yes.

  35. I have just had two of the worst (Wurst) days for a while. Went on lovely jaunt to country town with my aunt – left my bag in the station cafe while we ran onto the train. I realised before the next station and returned but it had gone, cue crazy battle with unhelpful station staff and lengthy transport police report – no phone, no house keys, no money, just the ticket back to London. faaark. Then we find out the normal police have the bag and I have to return the next morning as the police station closes at 6pm. 1 and half hours on the train later I get my bag back, wallet there all cards and keys, my journal and other stuff, but no camera and no cash. Take the cash but my camera!!! I use my camera for my work. I was pretty lucky to have all the other stuff back though.

    Then I went from this Kent town to Heathrow to see my friend transiting on her way to canada. that was a fuck up as well and we texted each other franticly on either side of the security wall. So around 5 hours spent on public transport and frustration at an all time high.

    add that to a million job rejections and art rejections and you have a potent blend of shite. The only good thing is I have decided to start writing again freelance – oh and i have a lovely partner who bought me indian takeaway and beers and cuddled me last night.

    Saturn, please don’t break me totally, I still need to be able to crawl forward.

  36. I don’t know what is going on, but I had a weird and interesting 24 hours and suddenly feel like today, nothing has happened (concrete) but yet everything’s changed. I have no idea what’s up with that, but hoping it leads me out of this stalled-love, stalled-career, stalled-everything mode.