Astro-Gaga Comp: Who Are These Two & What Are They Doing?
Explain these two astrologically for a chance to win two years of Mega Mystic (access to the Oracle, all the Horoscopes, the Daily Mystic email and first dibs/discount on any Cosmic Consults) Entries judged on merit aka whatever makes us all laugh the most. Astrological plausibility is also a bonus of course.
Knock yourself out guys!
Image; Cosmopolitan Magazine 1978
He’s Saturn. She’s Scorpio. He’s thinking, ‘this may be harder than I thought’. She just read his mind. That’s OK. She has all the time in the world.
Brilliant! <3
Fab! Ha ha!
winner!
*thumbs up*
awesome
It’s a goody!
His body language looks very defensive, like she’s just done / said something he doesn’t like. His face looks fearful.
She looks completely unconcerned with his feelings, and just wants more……she is all Mars, grab,grab and he is all Moon,.
She is Scorpio, he is Gemini & checking himself out in the mirror above!
He’s a polyamorous Sagg. She’s a Virgo who’s just finished waxing his chest and is about to start on his armpits. This is in no way punishment for his wandering ways, you understand. Its about Hygiene.
Ha ha ha! Love it!
Yes: hygiene.
haha…and he looks worried…but is willing to offer it up to the Virgoan goddess. Good one Triffy!
He’s even holding his gut cuz thinks he’s gonna hurl…
She’s Aries Sun, strong jaw, Aries brows and red nails. Sagg rising with those great legs and the asteroid Sappho hanging about conjunct her Sun trine her moon and she’s trying her best to envision his pecks as boobs…only she’s not having a whole lot of luck as she’s finding his stinky pits quite distracting.
Oh goodness, he’s Aries sun too then and is loving the natural mustiness of his own Eau D’Aries. Is it Aries who avoid deodorant? I think I remember reading that here somewhere. Anyway, I’m Aries Sun and I’m always believing I can get by without deodorant!
He looks like Richard Gere a little. That is if Richard Gere were a mid-90′s radio DJ pulling his best eyebrow raise for his promo shot. I think he’s got a Cancer Moon and therefore just wants to be loved only he’s not getting any from his modeling buddy and his feelings are all hurt. Aww, bless.
Actually I just checked Jerry Hall ‘cos I read somewhere she never wore deodorant and she’s Cancer Sun Aries Moon.
He: Aqua, Kataka Rising. “She will think i’m human but i have to cover up my lack of navel. How do i turn that into a sex move? And how did my DIY time transporter go backwards – i’m meant to be a cosmonaut in the year 2017, not in Cosmopolitan 1978.”
She: Gemini, Aries Rising. “He was sexier when we were clothed and talking; now he’s gone silent and i’m having the 6th house realisation that i cannot possibly deal with underarm hair – not mine, not his.”
Inspired by the weekly horoscopes from Oct 13 for those signs.
Win!
yes – her eyeline is direct to his underarm – haha
Love it
Lana the Astrologically knowledgable Taurean Prison Warden borrows Jake the Taurean grifter from the cell for the night. He’s only there for the free home botox injection. But Lana believes they could have more than just a conjunction of their natal Suns.
YES! I am having trouble seeing beyond the striped pyjamas, lol
Wistful longing for a three-some
O I cackled at this! Brilliant
behave
its the right era for that!!
Wot?? I think they are too !!
I was thinking it looks like they cut someone on the other side out of shot
She – Gently holds her hand over his rapidly beating heart pondering why he hasn’t made ‘the move’ and cursing the early beginnings of pins and needles in her arm but it’s the only position that allows the strap to naturally fall…….
He – Man it’s hard to look sexy with this killer stomach pain.. just got .. to… keep this … fart .. in…or I’m gonna blow my chances.
Bwaahaahaa! Good one, it’s so on their faces.
Ah, he’s a Taurus.
They are posing for Tamara De Lempica, but she really only wants those cheekbones- he is a scorp with cancer moon, feeling a bit vulnerable as he has been busing tables all day long, waiting to be ‘discovered’ and feels a bit used up by being pinched on the bum by boys at that chi-chi restaurant, she is leo with sagg rising and aries moon, hardly breathing to keep those cheekbones puurfect, also waiting to be ‘discovered’ but knows Tamara is her ticket
No way would a Sagg rising/Aries Moon be that studied.
Even with a Leo sun. All the energy in this pic is going in the wrong direction!
ah ok…was trying to insert sagg legs!lol! eek stabbing in the dark, thanks for heads up!
She obviously thinks the best way to a man’s stomach is through his heart.
Mr Capricorn ( with a Mars in Taurus) is refusing to touch Ms Gemini (with Venus in Cancer) new neglige because even though it is pure silk the duipon lace contains 1% polyester.
She knows that he adores her and that if she tells him about the bread that she has made for dinner, using a 300yr old sourdough starter passed down through her family for generations he will smile for the camera.
He on the other hand, is staring at the camera person, unable to conceal his disbelief that anyone would want to skank around in people’s bedrooms with a camera when they could have a proper job like working offshore in oil and gas and making real money.
Hahahahaha
I actually know a Cap guy with Mars in Taurus who’s a bit like this!!! (But not goodlooking or waxed.)
toro man is slightly concerned that the extra creme caramel will repeat on him if he attempts sex in the next 15 minutes, while Virgo woman wonders if he will actually let her trim his armpit hair in the meantime.
He is a Sagittarius and he is thinking that letting the love zombie cook for him was a grave mistake. He cannot perform when he is flatulent.
She is a Pisces love zombie and he has NO idea that her tender hand on his arm is honed from years of ji jitsu.
He is eyeing the window in the en suite and wondering if he can fit through it to go back to the pub and pull the bartender.
Ooh a dangerous Piscean LZ, like a submerged croc sneaking up on its prey. Nice.
She’s Scorpio with a fetish for Brazilian midgets. He’s Libra, and he keeps in shape. He can crack walnuts with his butt cheeks. She’s just asked him for a demonstration.
Looks like it must be a tough nut to crack. LOL
Well yes he was. He was raised in the slums of rio. Performing his ‘art’ for peanuts. And when your cracking walnuts and being paid peanuts, you know ? it just wasn’t working for him.
Ya think he’s really a Brazillian midge davey? lol
Walnuts…butt cheeks
Damn, I wish I did the anonymous for this one….
They are my parents in the early 60′s….
Both sag rising both aries suns He moon sag/ jupiter in 12th ,she moon virgo/ neptune in 9th.She saturn intercepted in the first, trine the moon/neptune.
He,….”What, is she going to make me do now”?
Always loved his dimpled chin……..
Love the old Cosmo pic. Famous couple. He’s a Leo male model disappointed that he had some performance issues while making a sex tape. She’s a Capricorn ( note high cheek bones) who planned to secretly release sex tape to humiliate her politician husband after she discovered he slept with the same model.
as a side note
It would be fun if people on the blog posted pics of themselves and we could guess their signs
Nice: I chose Cap for the cheekbones, too
Forget astro, he’s gay, looking at his partner, the hirsute, overweight photographer he adores, thinking why the hell do you put me through this and why, why do I stay?
Ah, interesting angle!
To his Taurus sun/Sagg rising self:
Man, this chic is giving me the shits! I should’ve went to her place so I could just leave. I suppose she wants to have breakfast together or– to *talk*. [shudder!] Why is she staring at me!? Gawd, why didn’t I just go to her place…
To her Cap sun/Gemini rising self:
Yes, I love you, too. Your past is irrelevent to me: it’s over now. After breakfast, I’ll show you a great website where you can update your wardrobe. Isn’t it incredible the way fate has brought us together?! While you’re shopping, I’ll pack us a picnic lunch…
Non committal Aries/sag man trying to figure out why she’s still there… I mean it’s morning already.
She a soon to be love zombie Aqua/kataka. Feeling rejected, hanging in just in case she’s wrong, but knowing that she’s just hooked up with another self obsessed Neanderthal.
By tomorrow he will be skiing, skydiving or trying to pick up the instructor from both.
She will be making dramatic diary entries titled “my plunge into hell”.
Haha: love your description of what happens tomorrow! So true…
She is pondering what she will conjure up for next time to keep his interest. He is Gemini and she may be Aries but I feel like she is Libra and might be thinking to herself that he isn’t all that intersting save for his awesome bod:) and that is enough for now…
i reckon this is our friend Gemini with the saggy manwhore…(nice legs Gem!)
These are two sexually ambiguous models who first met at Studio 54, in the golden era of 1978 NYC. The champagne was flowing, and all anyone knew about space dust was that it kept you skinny and it wasn’t addictive.
He’s an Aries rising (those brows! that chin!) Sag who was fleetingly mesmerized by her Capricorn-rising cheekbones, but felt trapped after a few hookups and disappeared while she was in the shower, washing her hair with Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific. She’s a Cancer sun who loves antiquing, Julia Child, and obsessively cooks exquisite but fattening French dinners at home every night in her Le Crueset cookware. She’s young, her coked-out metabolism can handle frequent eight course meals. Nothing quells her increasing appetites. He hates eating at home, it makes him restless.
He is bummed that their shared agent booked them on this Cosmo shoot, plus his multiple Virgo conjunctions are activating some serious control issues. He’s stressing that she is probably getting paid more than him, plus the shot is too much about her leg, he knows his are much better. He worries that his abs are not his best feature. He hates the pajama bottoms the stylist has chosen, the stripes remind him of jail. He feels imprisoned by her crab-like grip, and by modeling itself. He is just using it as a means to the desired end: acting, but what he really wants to do is direct. He is way too profound for the fashion industry and is starting to find New York stifling. His legs point toward freedom: California!
She is in the middle of a hellish Neptune transit which has her staring past his armpit at the beautiful Scorpio female makeup artist, who has more than just Lip Quencher in her makeup kit. She is hoping they break for lunch soon, so she can get another line, just to get her through. Her Capricorn work ethic is strong enough to keep her nose from running while she waits.
She will soon hit bottom, rehab at Hazelden, and find sober happiness swimming, painting, and jogging on the beach by the dreamy Hamptons pad she bought for a song with the modeling earnings she had the foresight to sock away. Even in her drugged out pre-rehab haze, her Moon in Aquarius in the 2nd had her honoring her need for financial security.
She reunites with the Scorpio makeup artist from this shoot at an AA meeting in the early 80s. Both have Lilith in Scorpio- they suddenly have the spooky, sexually charged psychic sense that they were once witches in the same coven in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. They fall in love and spend a lot of time on the beach, the Cancer in white string bikinis, the Scorpio in a one piece black maillot and tons of sunscreen to preserve her pale skin and her intense look. They share a bottle of Anais Anais and collect Sarah Moon prints. The makeup artist buys the ex-model an Irish setter for her birthday one summer. Both are named Kelly.
WOW.. loved reading this. I am SO not creative and now jealous that you have the talent to write something so descriptive and diverse from a picture. Yes, a pictures says a thousands words but for a Virgo who is extremely methodical I just can’t step outside to show some creativity. What a story you just wrote. Hmmmm… title!
xo!!
The Mercury Uranus Date
Him: [omg, she farted. She really farted.]
Her: [Don't.Move. Shit. Look pensive. Dreamy. Innocent....Just breathe. Ew. Okay, don't breathe. Damn!]
Two librans on their wedding night.
Yes! They both look so bored!
Lol! Sure looks like the expression on my libran x husbands face on our wedding night
They are making a mutual suicide pact . As is Matador by Pedro Almodavar.
As I said they are planning a mutual suicide pact a la Matador by Pedro Almodavar. I forgot to mention that they are listening to “Love Hurts” by The Everly Brothers and ” He hit me and it felt like a kiss” by the Crystals.
This is Saturn in Scorpio right? So I’m going with Mr and Mrs Vanilla go dark as in BDSM and not any stupid shades of grey. I’m talking Death by Chocolate. Love and death. PASSION! – but hey, thats just what I see..
She is Aries with a virgo rising and a Scorpio moon.
He has a Taurus sun with a Kataka moon.
She just told him that she got a strap-on and wants to spice up their sex life. He is terrified but his Cancer moon wants to answer her needs. She is anticipating his answer and a bit uneasy.
Hilarious
He’s Pisces. She’s Not.
OMG! Yes! This is me and the Pisces circa 2010.
He is Taurus – a formerly fat dude who has recently shed the ched but alas, has man boobs. She is Libran, his first pull in his new physique, and he is desperately trying to make out he has pecs to die for,so is trying out the oblique twisting move. She as a Libran is obviously not doing something so Virgo as to point out these flaws to him, although the hand resting on the left breast, together with an incredibly bored look, says it all.
He is cancerian with leo moon and aries rising personal trainer. She is venus in virgo transexual libra gemini rising hand model. They met at the gym where he discovered she has a natural scent fetish. He bragged endlessly whilst bicep curling that his is so good you could bottle it. She was too curious and had to find out if this was true. He is currently trying to seduce her in his favourite pyjama bottoms by showing off his guns and letting her inhale his essence of man
Disastrous aftermath of Aries/Virgo man surprising himself and Scorp/vagittarius with cunnilingul impulses. He reels back sea sick, ashamed and defensive. Why didn’t he listen to her feigned resistance? Why did he feel he had to please her, like that, now? She simultaneously attempts to divine his heart while reflecting on many other alluring possibilities..
hehe, love this ! So good.
A true Leo, he perfected that facial expression after a decade of playing Prince Charming at Disneyland for minimum wage. She, a dreamy Pisces girl, has fantasies of being his Cinderella but her intuition is telling her the slipper doesn’t fit. Not pictured: The pervy Scorpio operating the camera
Him: Oh, so she has to come now too huh? This is important I suppose? I can see this is going to put me out a bit.
Her: Do I really need this sort of relationship (again?). Ok, go ahead, drill another hole in my head . . . might as well. . . .maybe I’ll drill a hole in his instead.
Looks like a classic composite, Sun Square Moon.
He-leo thinks he was much better than he actually was. Ramzilla’s resigned to the fact she just slept with this fool, and is deciding how to best exploit his occupation when relaying this conquest later. She will not be calling him back.
Libras. The conceited male- satisfied, unconcerned. & the female- decidedly (for once) unsatisfied & wanting more.
They are THE ZapZone couple – Uranus meets Pluto, and not in a good way. He is Aries (brows/chin) with Uranus now on his natal Sun/Mars – She is Capricorn (cheekbones) with Pluto conj her natal Sun. He wants out but is thinking of the Plutonic consequences she will dish out if he follows his Uranian urge to quit his high end banker career to move into organic horticulture in Africa with his dream to empower the poor. It’s going to happen anyway, this is just the angst before the action. He’ll end up on a meathook in hell for some time, but it’s just gotta be.
I don’t know what sign they are but she’s not sure if she should sniff his pit or not …
Maybe she has some Virgo in there… or he does and is confident he don’t stink…
By the concerned look on his face he’s thinking “oh cripes, I hope I don’t stink”
With that chin, maybe he’s a Leo like Robert Mitchum… Aug 6, 1917
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=robert+mitchem&view=detail&id=CD97B8F9A8AFA92F5A6A6D506DE6502B87A1DAF2&first=1
Double Leo Mum saw him in an elevator in Kansas City when she was a teen. Asked if he was good looking and she said “oh God yes”..
In any case, guy in the pix looks like he’s going to burst into tears any second…
(cuz he fraid he stink… lol) Soz…it’s Friday here and a bit nuts after being let outta the cage… 
You rock Sweatpea.
Mitchum, Cary Grant and those guys had a visceral magnetism/’it’ that must have been a very outer planet natal/generational thang because we dont really see it much theses days in showbiz.
I find that photo a bit spooky.
obviously there wasn’t photoshop back then but it reminds me of that Spanish guy doing these paintings lately that are SO effing photo-real ya wonder why he paints them.
I agree theres probably some Virgo around there. reminds me of that nekked lady on the lion post some months back. She leo/aries rising? the nose, hair and post-pouncey look seem quite big cat.
It was the 70′s…the pong weren’t wrong back then..
Aw, you rock too boots…x
Lost Aries man child has woken this morning realising that he is not in love with the virgo girl who has run away from her convent school in southern france for him and is wracking his brains for an excuse to take the ‘I love you’ back.
Virgo girl about to be broken hearted into being a woman senses his withdrawal and knowing she is hopelessly in love with him wonders what she has done wrong.
She is an Aries beauty therapist that fell for her Leo customer as he redeemed the voucher he received from his sister as a birthday present. The waxing of his back was eased by her enthusiastic chit-chat (Mercury in Sagittarius) to which his Moon in Cancer warmed up and shared some of his fantasy life. Her mind was working overtime with what else she could do with his body; the scenarios became more and more elaborate when she discovered he was a workaholic (Mars in Virgo). Her moon in Pisces was naturally going in free fall for this unavailable potential lover full of ridiculous contradictions.
He mentioned he was vaguely seeing someone but you see, being a flirt is natural to his Venus in Gemini and competition was music to her Venus in Aries.
They go around a hookup when she mentioned she would be looking after him. His Venus in Gemini was playing the ingenue and all was going reasonably well until she decided the game was leading her nowhere near where she had fantasized; her Venus in Aries was screaming for action and put a hand on his chest with a look that says it all. His Mars in Cancer felt let down and chemistry dropped to less than zero as his Mars in Virgo has needs more subtle than her Venusian base setting of Conquer & Come.
His Mercury in Virgo mind went over all little details and was anxiously running in circles to get out of this sinking disaster; would she believe him if he said that he had misplaced fetish cock-ring? Or worse, would she actually have one and he would have to perform under duress?