The Unbearable Modesty Of Virgoans
Virgo peeps are genuinely modest, it’s true. Yes, we can jest about their propensity for power-guilting, corrective nagging and how their throat tightens right before they say “May I point out…” or delicately interrupt you mid-rant to point out that it’s “was” not “were” or that you’ve got a dab of pesto on your t-shirt. But Virgoans are thrillingly modest. And it’s for real. Not like when a Leo or a Saggo gallops in, yelling not to make a fuss because they’re just HERE ALREADY, you know, staying incognito and all. They’re truly modest in a really chic way, are the most awesome wingmen-wingwoman in the world (especially as they’ll give you a detailed analysis later and you know it) + they do not brag. In fact, if a Virgo starts sounding like an Aries – ie: lecture ranting about their Greatness – you can guess they’re pretty high. You think?
Do Virgoans read Scopes? I cant remember meeting any! Having great legs I was running in the opposite direction:)
Aw, that’s sweet of you to run and appropriate for you to distance yourself from my glaring bright light so that others, more brave and enduring, may bask in my glory.
Modest enough?
Having done my usual louche research to support my on the Hoof thesis I discover Charlie Sheen is a Virgo! Modesty Personified….
yes but he’s on crack
with a fair smattering of Sag planets, MM wrote in a post on him…
Michael Jackson? So Virgoans really need to get on it to get in it!
Actually what Mystic pointed out was that Sheen has Mars-Neptune bad angle (square or opp, can’t remember). i.e., the “hot mess” aspect
sounds like dating a chinese restaurant
A Chinese restaurant? Perhaps the one that is clean, tastefully decorated, where the food and service are stellar and that serves the most amazingly accurate fortune cookies ever! …it doesn’t “date.”
I’ll pay that
OMG.. ORACLE COOKIES
that was me.
Food & Oracles together – it’s a special kind of heaven for me.
have never noticed a scarcity of Virgos here…
Hi ho! I’m as Virgo as they come, and I’ve been studying Astrology for about 5 years now. And I’ll tell you JUST what I think about all this nonsense, as soon as I find my list….
Ta!…(-;
Not the ones I know.
Yes! I have to agree with you. I’ve thought about this before because I have quite a few Virgo friends, family members, acquaintances, etc. and they’re not exactly the embodiment of “modest”. There are a few that I know that are atypical Virgos and they are modest. Of course that just varies from person to person and we’re only seeing a Sun sign, instead of the whole chart. Most of the ones I do know are the kind that no matter what, they are *always* right. They are never wrong, even if you have proof/evidence that they are in fact wrong. They will not admit to it. EVER. They’ll still mumble under their breath just loud enough for you to hear, “I KNOW I”M RIGHT…..” Some are even full-on DIVAS!
Don’t get me wrong though, I love them to death. I think they’re amazing and I love that I can always count on a Virgo to tell me when I’ve mispronounced something or I’ve missed a spot because I actually do appreciate that. I love their no bullshit approach to everything!
there’s a difference between ‘I KNOW BEST’ (good ol righteousness) and I AM BEST (immodesty/arrogance).
virgos are the former.
never the latter.
Exactly.
Yes. True.
Yeah, there’s a difference like cat said, but regardless of *sign* when someone can’t admit they’re wrong (especially when proof is involved); that is arrogant/immodest in my opinion. People who think they know everything have that air of superiority about them. Have you ever had a conversation with a know-it-all? You never feel like you have anything worthwhile to contribute to the conversation because the know-it-all knows everything about everything. I know it’s difficult to admit when wrong and for some people it’s a real blind spot, but it’s part of being human. It’s perfectly okay to be wrong sometimes. You can’t always be right. That whole not being able to admit being wrong or being “in the wrong” is the equivalent of saying: “I’m perfect and therefor am I always right.” There’s a lot of ego there.
Not picking on the Virgos though; Scorpio with Virgo Rising here. I’m just sayin’.
true that. but then again, few virgos i know are admit-to-being-wrong-crippled.
which is why i never get even know-it-all vibes from my virgos…
strange…
screw stereotypes i say. xD
Yeah! Screw stereotypes!
APPLAUDING loudly in my head!!! Perfect timing for me as I am feeling guilty for speaking up for myself and now beating myself up because people are trying to bull doze me because of it. I don’t like this phase. And please note it seems like a repeat from 2007 to 2009 (ugh.. please don’t let it be so.. it was not a fun time.. however I feel like I won)
So, yes the Virgo side of me when “cornered” is not fun to be around. I like being my rising sign Libra.
Mystic love your description of how Virgos react with “throat tightening…”… SO true. I was thinking to myself after a meeting I went to that I have the tendency to do the following hence feeling like I show insecurity amongst professionals:
Get quiet
Afraid to intrerrupt people
Don’t feel worthy of saying what I need to say
My realization from last night is: people don’t hear me.. why? Because I don’t have the confidence to be less modest! I wish I did sometimes.
xo!!
xo!!
+1 on the 2007-2009 rerun.
Honestly, I don’t know if it is so much modesty as ridiculous expectations as to what being “good’ or “worthy” requires and sharing said expectations with both self and others.
Lovingly yours,
St. Virgo
Amen to this. (Virgo sun.)
too true
Really – I don’t know if people know this and, please other Virgos confirm – but sometimes I really long for someone to grab me and say “you do realize you’re human, right? and that no one gets all things right all the time. and I appreciate your effort, but snap the fuck out of it right now.” I want that person – someone who can both appreciate the effort and tell me I’m nuts.
Yes. Most Virgos need this.
Confirmed.
Loving the Virgoan group therapy in here, I feel like we’ve really needed it..
*shamefully nods in sleep-deprived exhaustion and pulls up a chair*
Me too!!
See i was just thinking how weird it feels to have to brag about how good i am at being a nanny when speaking to prospective families…but no one else thinks it’s bragging, just normal upselling as a part of the interview process. And im actually pretty good at upselling myself. Virgo sun, leo asc, aries moon, so there you are i suppose….
I have the same problem. Between beating myself up last night over all the things I “fail” at I got brief glimpses of how competent and capable I appear to others. And from that view I was like “why the fuck are you stressing and worried about asking for permission or earning authority?!? You already have it!” Authority should be handled with grace and humility, but when you doubt you have it to begin with you just come off like a nag, you know? Its hard. I’m old enough that I feel I should know how to self-promote better.
I also do not like to self-promote, but know it is a necessary evil.
I prefer modest, quiet people. Loud-mouthed braggarts who cannot back up their claims easily annoy me.
Being a Virgo I have lots of pet peeves (wish I did NOT)
But I’ve noticed, few people – braggarts or not – are interested in backing up their claims. People are more interested in getting attention and being liked or feared or felt-for than they are accuracy. Oh accuracy – why can’t I quit you?
Yes, the victim/aggressor/helper triangle is one that is used in many volunteer training courses. ie, often not clear where being a helper starts and being a victim or an (often passive) aggressor ends. The idea is that whenever you think you are doing something selfless or altruistic to help others, or being a saint putting up with something, put your analytical scrutiny to work to ask what YOU are getting out of it (be it a sense of being a good person and hence scoring karma points/nice eulogy/admiration from friends/gratitude from the helped or release from guilt about something else; a sense of power to change others; a sense of moral superiority, a sense of being needed; escape from loneliness, or whatever fits the circumstance). The basic premise is that humans never do anything unless there is SOMETHING (that is often not material) in it for them (and the trick is to be really fearless about confronting yourself about what that is). Once you’ve owned what it is, and have taken responsibility for fulfliing it, then you can no longer feel like a martyr. If what you are doing isn’t meeting those needs, or if you realise that your own needs are conflicting, then you either adjust YOUR expectations, or you stop doing it.
Easier said than done of course.
I hear you, Fi. But in truth – I’m just looking for a friend. Sometimes the “need” is just companionship. If there is a pattern I can spot, its that I meet people when they are in a state of brutal honesty with themselves – phoenixing mode or whatever. I can’t see that its a phase for them. I just see someone who “gets” me because I live in that mode, regardless of who is or is not in my life. But, typically, for the other, it wears off and the relationship with me just dissolves. No fuss or fight – no meanness, just no connection.
hey 12th house – actually I meant to insert my comment further down re Oran Mor’s question about getting past St Virgo Martyr complex – I was really agreeing with virgolicious’s response to that.
Not sure how I managed to post it right here instead where it didn’t make any sense at all!
Yes we do! We like to be totes prepared for what might pop up! And, if by mentioning your great legs you’re suggesting you’re a Sag, what do you think about stopping to talk? I feel pretty sure we’ll get into some heated discussions but in my experience, that translates to…welll…heat in other places. Also, we’d feel happy keeping track of your passport for you. And I know some amazing tricks for packing and beating jet lag. Of course, with a Taurus moon in the 9th, this particular Virgo feels happiest when traveling, eating exotic food, running, poking around places where no one speaks English, and yup, pretty much game for whatever as long as it’s beautiful, musical, tasty, tactile and mind blowing.
Mars in Virgo here. I love me some Virgo. Took my fave Virgo out to the theatre tonight – free tix! We laughed, we cried, we ate Chinese food.
She listed her concerns as work, money and responsibility. Sounds like proper Virgo themes to me.
*Leaps in to comments section*
HELLOOOOO
YES I AM HERE THIS IS ME, PI, COMMENTING! SEE ME MAKE A COMMENT! STOP AND LISTEN YE FAITHFUL
Now that I have your attention, let me tell you more about ME. The other day I…
Oh, what? this is a post about Virgos? no, about Modesty? About virgos AND modesty? Hang on – Modest Virgos?
Drat.
*steps down, searches for new limelight*
LOL Love it.
Aren’t you forgetting someone, Pi…?
Oh honey I never forget you. You are the least modest and most worthy Virgo I know xxxxx
Cute.
Very modest Virgos are! My ex took that to the extreme where one could not even mention a physical attribute with out making him upset..it was so hard for him to accept his own human characteristics.
Yes. Yes. Yes. God I was just sitting here thinking about the two hardcore Virgo ladies that raised me. The multiple Piscean. How everything I learned about money, I learned from them. As in, frugality, economy, living well but not being a fuqing showpony about money. Gina Rinehart could have employed them and they would have run a household on the pittance. Absolute fly-under-the-radar geniuses.
Thankyou, great timing aswell!
Was feeling beaten down emotionally by close family who think my voice and opinion on my own life doesn’t count or isn’t significant compared to the timetable for my life they’ve drawn up for me!!!
Echoes back to happenings of 2009-11 but I won in the end so just got to be patient now about this aspect of life because I’ll win in the end with this one too.
Caught the flu so feeling physically beatedn down too….waiting for better health!!
Hi VSLR – there seem to be a few of us 12 house Virgo Suns here…12th house Virgo, I think VirgoEllie, me…and for me, this sort of upbriniging resonates. My family´s expectations were not attractive to me, but of course in the end it has been my life and those expectations went by the wayside.
Hmm. My family expected nothing of me but, perhaps, failure and disappointment. I suppose that’s unattractive too. Hadn’t associated absurd family expectations with the 12th house before. I thought everyone’s family was wrong about their expectations. But, I do see how it could make a Virgo feel more compressed than another sun sign being as a Virgo feels they can (or should be able) to do no wrong.
I’m not that modest, must be my ascendant Sadge
Except when they have Aries rising…
lol exactly
Virgos who born between the range of Leo-Virgo cusp are definitely not modest.<—they still have Leos ego carried on them
I Agree. I know lots of performing artists with the Leo-Virgo cusp signs. Not sure, I would describe MJ as modest, shy maybe but not modest. Could be his Neptune placement?
Absolutely agree! Just been dating a Leo-Virgo cusp and couldn’t stand the b.s. bragging – money, toys, achievements blah, blah, blah. Add to that a swivel head where every pretty girl was in cooee. Bleh………
I dunno, my sun is at 1 Degree Virgo, and although I look quite Leo-like (long hair/mane, often bearded) I rarely find myself feeling or acting particularly Leo-like. To be honest I’d go so far as to say I need to act more on that side of things, to counter the Virgoan uber-modest/shyness sort of thing. I can be really nervy about showing any ego..
My moon is in Leo 11th house. I realized it I’ve repressed that aspect of myself most of my life. Although, in certain ways, I act the Leo, I just can’t accept the praise. What does it matter? And yet, I can feel so alone and unacceptable, like the praise never existed at all. Its like, an eraser takes all compliments away, to be forgotten. My Leo ex creates social dramas so he can display his…self, really – crazy, funny, or not. I take comfort and want to be appreciated for my ability to host and care for others, not for my ability to command and control the spotlight.
That last sentence rang pretty truthfully and clearly to me. It’s a big part of one of my goals right now..
I like the last sentence too, 12th house. Sounds classy to me.
Sounds like you’re on the right track. No need to be a brassy empty mouthpiece
Ugh, I’m a Sagittarius with all the hubris that comes with it but my Virgo moon keeps me in check. I’m accused of being too modest and proud all fo the time.
My beloved Virgo partner may be modest when it comes to work, his physical abilities etc. … but he’s VERY sure about his qualities as a partner. Too sure even, sometimes! In his opinion I’m usually the difficult one (although he admits to some quirks but not to the serious ones). So I’m always the one to blame. I must admit sometimes it feels as if it were easier to live with a constant bragger than with a constant martyr!
Ha! I have a feeling my ex’s would say the same of a life with me. I suspect a Virgo never thinks they are in the wrong in a relationship problem. If they did suspect that they could be the source of a problem, they wouldn’t be seen. They’d be locked in the bathroom beating themselves with something hard, heavy, and painful – like their own point-of-view. And, they may just disappear, certain that you wouldn’t want to see them again let alone love them. Yeah. Total friggin martyrs.
Before the Leo-Virgo cusp date, I lived with a Virgo-Libran cusp. You mention p-o-v. Is absolute belief and total stubborness about their p-o-v a common trait? Found that even when presented with actual facts he could not be moved.
I suppose – as I am certainly stubborn about mine. I mean, I am willing to be challenged by facts, but Virgos are mutables, you see, and your idea of facts may not be the same as my understanding of facts, if you get my drift. I see no point in having a point of view if you aren’t willing to literally or metaphorically die defending it. Perhaps other Virgos may chime in to disagree with that – but, going on a sample size of two, I’d say we have a fair stereotype going with that observation
i think maybe its that virgo is dedicated to having a correct opinion, but also like being right, and if they get challenged outright suddenly they would probably get all fussy and defensive, if they found out on their own they would adjust but being challenged out in the open brings out the worst in them, as well as the fact they might actually be right, but unable to articulate it or be up to par debate wise like gemini or aries would be, so they could loose an argument, but privately been on it the whole time and end up being right, and if they are wrong, they probably really get cagey in certain situations realizing that they are wrong, and at their worst will probably be very fussy and nitcpicky even if they are wrong, so wrong or right virgo just isnt very good at handling these things sometimes, but if the body of evidence is against them, I think they would adjust, they may be mutable, but they are earth, so there gonna be all crusty about any change, obviously not all virgos tho
Sometimes, I realize I am wrong on my own. But I’ve made such a display that others who were present on it continue to believe in me, my presentation of it. That sucks, because when I say “no, not that” and step back from what I impressed them with…it just…why believe in me and not your own opinion, you know? If you know you are right, then you have all you need.
ya I have done that, partially a pluto merc thing for me though, not admitting when I am wrong, but now I just assume I am potentially wrong, check dissenting views to see if I am wrong, and tenuously and delicately proceed, if I didnt do that I would still be the biggest know it all ever, im still always saying I already knew that all the time, that always annoys people
I admit when I am wrong. Its then when I realize how well I sold my point. Because I see a look of pain on the other person’s face when its apparent I sold them false information. There is a moment of “well, can I believe you or not?” and I always feel “Why would you need to believe me when you have yourself?” I strive for honesty in all things. I see no problem with that being mutable. But…not all flex so quickly as, perhaps, you and I do on what that mean in a given context.
I am venus conjunct ascendant in virgo
I am modest, extremely.
I do not correct people’s speech though. I don’t like when people do it to me.
I never correct others grammar or speech. I have the worst grammar! I am unsure how this is possible being a Virgo with Virgo in Mercury. However, I like to blame my Mercury Retrograde natal sign.
My scopes say beware of cloudy communication. Signing offline now.
Quite Virgoan here…
On the subject of being um…painfully Virgoan. Does anyone have any nice advice on rising above the ‘St. Virgo’/martyr kinda thing?
I’m struggling a fair bit with falling into that mindset right now to be honest, the pluto/chiron sextile manifested itself in somewhat more of a wound for me than I was expecting. Coupled with Neptune directly opposite my sun and Mercury’s recent opposition to that.. Things have been well and truly cloudy, so I’d really appreciate some sort of piercing light through the fog, so to speak..
I’m experiencing the same thing so, unfortunately, all I can do is commiserate.
I doubt not that we’re alone in this. I’ll admit that it’s a matter of the heart, and one that I’ve followed my intuition on all year and has been a massive theme overall.
The only light I really have to see through the fog is still just that, my intuition. It’s still saying ‘it’s not over, hang on, be kind, loving, and be your luminous best, work your hardest and fulfill your goals, etc’ but I wonder if that IS St. Virgo?
-so confused-
Put the martyr complex in the same pigeonhole as passive aggressive behaviour and see how that shifts your thinking.
It worked for me.
Sage advice.
Thanks, I’m seeing what you mean. I responded to this event in a somewhat passive aggressive way without realising it, and I do realise it wasn’t wisest. Oh well…can’t change it now..
Thanks for making this lovely Virgo post! I love it!
A good Virgo friend from childhood is like this.
Except I wish she would give more opinions as they’re usually good.
This Leo may have thwarted her efforts in the past though.
I’ve got Virgo planets which help to ground me.
virgo rising, sometimes I actually brag, but I am not sure it counts as real bragging, it usually is a story about something I am so proud of myself for doing, I enjoy telling these stories of my amazing success as much as I do telling stories of really embarrassing and funny slip ups though, when it comes to outright saying how “great” I am, or having to convince someone to like me or respect me or consider me capable I clam up, I mean, I understand at a certain point such dedication to improvement and reality gets diminishing returns paralyzing you from doing more, and can drop the whole im not that great schtick for a time to advance my aims, but even when I do I feel icky the whole time, re assuring myself internally that once I convince these people I wont have to say great things about myself anymore, it sincerely feels like I am doing something kind of wrong, then I can safely and comfortably slip back into whatever the hell you would call how I normally operate
I totally get this. Its like – I’m willing to allow someone to see, hear, and experience me at my most awesome. I blame my Libra stellium for making me want to decorate and elegantly host people through the process of knowing/loving/working with me. Gracefully. Why should I have to talk about it? If I have to talk about how awesome I am for them to notice the quality of our interaction with each other, why? If they can’t treat me as I deserve, maybe they don’t have very good sense. Or, maybe they hate me and if I suspect life turns dark and it hurts. I go into martyr mode. It just never occurs to make “bragging” a part of the exchange, you know? Its tacky and insincere and wasteful to talk about what is apparent and in front of you. Its other’s job to judge me, not my own.
exactly! it should be plain and clear in due time, people should be able to perceive it on their own, or its not real, either way, bragging is icky
“Or its not real” is exactly right! What I realized this week was “oh shit, maybe they have already assumed/seen that? how would I act/feel/think if that were true? If everyone who say me thought “there’s a lovely, competent, honest, woman.” The problem is while we dismiss the “reality” of positive opinion, we sometimes get dark and grudgingly covet it. But…other human signs don’t seem to have as much a problem being ok with that kind of want.
exactly! its like if you get a good compliment you put it on the scoreboard and privately go, yes! see my way of doing things does work, but then after a time you just erase the score mumbling, thinking this isnt necessary or helping you improve, and so then all you are left with are the negative things, which is a bummer for everyone
The most painful part in me is – that’s my love language. Everyone has a language for expressing love, and mine is in help my beloved get the highest score. In the end, I KNOW it doesn’t matter – being there does – but in the good times, why not make ourselves even better? How can I love and not want more of what I love in the other? Not in spite of who the person is, but because of it. I think I’ve hurt lovers in the past by seeming not to notice what’s good in them. And they’ve confused me. Because I am only seeing the good in them. That’ s why my effort is so focused on how they are.
And when they say “why?? why are you so hard?” I think, “because I love. I love you so much.” But I don’t say it. I just think “I’m too much. They’re right.” and go into bitter shutdown mode, ala St. Virgo, martyr. I don’t WANT to be a martyr. I want to love and share that. It just never synch’s past the rehab stage for my patient. And that’s who’s attracted to me. Someone who is so grateful to meet someone who sees their light just needs a bit of dusting. But when I don’t relent, they say “enough!” and it hurts. When did I ever think they WEREN”T perfect? It wasn’t conditional to me. It was conditional to them, you know what I mean? Like “OK, Virgo, thanks for helping me this far. I’ve got it now.” That border, while quite healthy, hurts me so much. I never want to stop helping, hovering, knowing how my loved one is.
I feel what you mean, people register it at face value and get hurt, but to us it doesnt really mean anything negative or have that much weight, especially since its the stuff we live and breathe, and if they ignore it we wont be too peeved, I guess the only thing you can do is show that you are there to help, and are willing to be a resource to improvement but somehow back off after a certain point and bite your tongue, i think maybe just not saying things can go along way, its a weird placement, but love is also about acceptance, so you have accepted them, but comment wise they wont feel like you are, I know what you mean and that you dont mean to do that, but I think maybe just keeping it to yourself will go a long way sometimes, obviously I might be out of context here
No – you’re not out of context. You’re right. I just don’t always see it at the time. I wish my loved ones could have compassion for me at the moments when I do. I don’t know how to say sorry for what’s true, only that I am sorry I said too much. And that’s a cold comfort to all involved.
I guess you have to convey you do it because you care, and even though you are always on them, that they shouldnt take it too seriously and just blow it off if it is getting a bit much, or politely let you know when your being a bit much, maybe if you just have them understand that and set it up that way it will help a bit, maybe they just dont get it it right away, so you should spell it out at some point
I always set it up that way. I think its a problem. Because they already know I mean well. And they don’t want to hurt me by saying “shut.up!” So, they just leave instead.
I completely agree that bragging is off. Its to do with overcompensating for insecurity but the bragger never sees it that way of course. I know a scorpio sun- leo moon who is the biggest Bragger of drama but still i love her to bits.
That’s what I loved most about my ex – how he could just not give a fuck in any situation – he was going for his! Because I don’t want someone to be dependent on my opinion alone. And I laugh when I see someone not care and just go for it.
cause even if you do have a good quality, you should be able to improve it or cultivate it on your own, to the point it is so shiny and maintained than people can actually notice on their own, its like a quality control almost, to keep you from holding false notions of how great the great qualities you have really are, or thats how I see it, if they cant notice it, its not worth mentioning
yes, yes, and more yes! And love to a Virgo is that kind of polishing, no? A shared endeavor to groom what glows in us and in each other, so that it shines so clearly it needs no other description.
Yeah, I can see how we totally annoy the shit out of others…lol
ha, im seeing it now too, maybe we should just keep some of it to ourselves sometimes ha
Just want to say, 12 house Virgo and david1234 that this conversation between you two SOOO resonates. Thanks.
Thanks! Its been really nice to share the Virgo p.o.v. in an understanding atmosphere.
also although I can put on a show of selling myself as capable or likable or what have you, I can never really believe it inside, I literally have to take stock of sincere compliments paid by competent and fairly contextually involved people in the past, if it seams like a certain compliment is consistently and independently observed by several people then it must have some basis in reality, therefore I must have those positive qualities, therefore I should be able to freely point out these tried and true qualities that have been cross referenced by the unasked opinion of many, therefore I should not feel guilty and should view referencing these qualities as fair game and rightfully earned, so by an intense compiling of rationalization I can force myself to adopt selling myself for a time, and even have it backed up by fair measures, but in spite of all this, I never really believe any of it, its just like some sort of line of action and thought I dont agree with that I am forced to temporarily adopt, its by the books and everything, I say to myself, its following all the rules, but it feels more like I am just following my own rules diligently whilst personally disagreeing with them, like I am some sort of beuracrat, and I believe in the rules and everything, and all the numbers add up for this new project, but the new politician in charge I just dont approve of privately, ill do it, but I wont like it
I so identify with all of this. Just the other day, I had a vision of what my resume could be. It blew my mind to do it, to do it based on my experience and the objective words/observations of others. When it was in my hand, I was like “wait?!? I am actually pretty much a rockstar” but quickly dismissed the thought. The shine is something that is earned, contextual, based on need/context. I can never sit back and say “there, there, I’m good now.” As much as I can get other signs to understand me as a nag, I can’t find the one who can appreciate me on that point – the relentless sense of im/proving…
yes!!! I did that once too, not a resume, but I sat down and forced myself to take an honest assessment of sorts based on the opinions of others and real world accomplishments, I was really down on myself at the time, and thought I should just find out the reality of the situation once and for all, when it was all done I was like whaaaaaaa? I realized I looked pretty damn good on paper, and was in the process of looking damn near perfect if I kept it up, it made me feel better for a little bit, but then I forgot about it and got reabsorbed into improving further, I dont think I am after appreciation or acceptance of this virgo side from others (im not virgo sun) it feels more like im doing it just for me, and I think once I “figure it out” and carve out a niche identity of sorts I will feel better, still always devoted to improvement, but considerably better, and I annoy my friends a lot from how much I freak out and get all fussy over things, but I never really nag others, I think its my pisces side, its always like, why should I care? although if there are glaring negative qualities that need seeing to that would take hardly any effort at all and are being obviously, obliviously and blatantly ignored by the person who has them, my teeth definitely start grinding in disdain, I am like a thin piscean gauze away from nitpicky freak outs all the time
Virgo Sun and rising. I don’t grind my teeth. I think “oh, so there’s the problem. There’s why your uncomfortable… the loving fix is there! I love enough to say it.” Then I grind my teeth because they avoid me.
also responding to above for space reasons,
okay, somehow get to hang out with them again, potentially by apologizing if need be, and when you see them again dont nitpick one single bit, it will be hard, but see if you can only help and advise when they ask or when they are telling you about a problem then you chime in, for example if a friend is doing something that will mess up their sleeping habits lets say, instead of intervening and correcting, say nothing, do nothing, only act if they complain to you about how much trouble they have sleeping or come to you for advice or opinion, it will be hard at first and you might think that then they will never see or know it, but trust me, things can be shifted around so that when they are ready, if they are ready, you will be the go to person to help improve things, then bit by bit they will consider other things they could use help with seeing as the other situation went so well and bring those to you, and so on
it will be hard and you will feel like you are maybe even not living up to some sort of duty to them you feel, but objectively you will help them more if they come to you than if you are always correcting them, they will be more likely to listen, be more appreciative, and when they follow your advice and see it actually worked they will be more likely to come to you again, I know it doesnt seam right, just keeping mum when they need your help, but it might work, things can be flipped so they are actually asking for your opinion, be such a beacon and example of self improvement and dedication that others will ask on there own for some tips and pointers, and then your in, this is kind of how I have decided to operate, and it feels like people listen to me more
I know what you’re saying. But my relationship patterns have been this: at first, they do come to me, with everything. Its like on or off intensity. And they love the way I look at them, knowing I see some light in them they can’t quite see themselves. But when they decide their light is out, I still look at them the same way. And when I stay mum on issues I once delved into, its unspoken between us, but its there: I disagree. And there is no fuss or fight. There is just discomfort for them and a willing desire to be around a different gaze. I had an astrology confirm for me – I’m Nanny McFee. I show up on the scene when discipline is required, and disappear, the connection dissolves, when they no longer feel they need me. It broke my heart to hear my fear confirmed objectively, that this is the way I am made to be.
That’s fascinating 12th house, I don’t have anything in the twelth house myself but an astrologer once said something that kind of parallels that, “you are not doing anything wrong, it’s just that your intuition and understanding of others is very intense, and sometimes people can’t tolerate being with someone who really knows them”.
What an interesting conversation in this thread.
aw Im really sorry 12H, besides consoling yourself that it could be viewed as a good thing, that they have improved to the point they can move on, I dont really have anything to offer, now that im in college I am cut off from all my friends (unless its the summer) and i havent been able to regenerate a new group whatsoever, losing them was the worst thing that ever happened to me, that is one thing I have yet to “figure out”, its hard losing friends, im sorry 12H, maybe eventually you will meet someone with enough virgo attunement that they wont feel the need to move on while still having enough 12h/neptune/pisces to get you, crazier things have happened in this world, much crazier things
oops that was me, not the first anon, but the one im responding to
Thanks for that. I do hold onto that hope. I know I am not the only one of anything…there are others like me. But when I look at my relationship patterns, there’s only so much I can change. The rest is up to Fate to intervene. I wish Fate would start being really, really nice to me.
I’m not sure a laser focus on the self, especially the self in comparison to the relative gaucherie of others, or the relative lack of accuracy and awareness of others, or just how wrong others are, is actual modesty.
I mean, isn’t the need to communicate what you know and think also a need for “attention”, or respect, or interactive understanding?
I see Virgo as needing a strong connection FROM the external, using that as a stimulus to recreate the internal (recreate=refine, hone, improve), very much like any mutable.
But…it isn’t “the self in comparison to the relative gaucherie of others.” Its the self in comparison to the self standards and Virgo standards make others feel insulted by their very existence.
Perfectly put.
The Virgos I know aren’t especially modest but they do all have that virtuous thing that I love so, so much. Moral in the best way, I think I trust them in ways I trust no other sign (exceptions of course) and I’m one super suspicious Scorp.
I do feel Scorpios get the non-reality of the Virgo standard and the way Virgos need to hold to that standard regardless with militant purpose and the isolation that causes them to feel like no other sign. Or, perhaps, I just appreciate the way Scorpios keep their distance while I learn to keep my own.
Yes, pretty much, I feel a need for solitude which only Virgos seem to understand. Once I learned to overcome the ‘criticism is caring’ aspect (which I did used to find hard), I found that they tell me the truth and remember everything I say. In detail, forever. Which massively pleases my Scorpionic never forget brain.
I have a relation with a mature Scorp who I do think gets the “criticism is caring” thing, hard as it is to at first see. But I also think he wants to show me he’s heard my message by heeding it. But…situations change so fast. And Scorps can get fixed in the last solution, you know what I mean? “I’ll prove this and then that.” But Virgo -me is ready to forgive the unheeded message and supply a new, more efficient solution in the more current context. And, what to me is care and compromise, gets to be like I am burying him in ideas. I hate feeling like I make others doubt themselves. Its never intentional. Quite the opposite.
I think the Leo Merc and Mars cancel out my Virgo modesty. Or am I just being modest. HA HA HA. Nahh, just a secret egotist.
so, are scorps and virgos generally considered positive pairing?
I’ve heard that they are…but there’s so many factors in a chart, you know? I *think* earth and water can get along, so long as earth doesn’t bury the water.
okay, will note for future ref, thanks
I’m an Aries Sun with a Virgo Rising and the Aries comment made me laugh. Most of the time I think I have a split personality wanting to just get stuff going but then slowed down by obsession with details and fear of it not turning out perfect.
Me too andrea. I have mercury in aries as well so I do like talking about myself !
Virgo’s and modesty are HOT! But naked ambition is HOT as well
My Virgo-stellium friend has a Firey ascendant in Neptune. He is the most mutable person I’ve ever met.
His life is always in motion and changing. He is good for the zap zone. He is zap zone compliant and I say that based only on his 6 planets in mutable signs make him able to adjust and adjust. Last year we had some time where we didn’t speak, mainly because I needed my life to cool down. Sometimes he’s so heavily mutable that he’s like a ballerina and a high speed boat in the one person!
Modest? Nah. He has naked ambition written all over him but can be so sweet and thoughtful and caring when he’s not picking things apart. That’s the Virgo stuff I love. So beautiful and then ka-choonga in a silent wosh they’re off to do shit and you can’t stop them and they’ll do it ten times quicker than most anyone and it’ll be gold.
That’s Virgo. No qi vamping emo.
Have never met a Virgo who can admit to having any faults.
A family member with several planets rising in Virgo used to interrupt / correct others when they were talking. You couldn’t be heard if you spoke with less than perfect diction / grammar. It’s the self-justification of Virgo at its worst that I can’ t stand. They really can be little Hitlers . But, I have some truly lovely Virgo friends.
YES!
Come back Über Virgo !!!
I was thinking Jeff Lewis of “Flipping Out” reality tv was a Virgo…he’s an Aries lol…Maybe why he can be such a huge ass but then have a large heart afterwards like giving his maid hell all the time but then pays for her facelift and a new car…
Kataka daughter’s Venus in Virgo on her MC. She didn’t want any personal gifts at her bridal shower so I gave her a gift card to Victoria’s Secret for as I put it “a little sumthin’ sumthin’”…She seemed embarrassed when she read it and giggled (Sagg Moon). Said her fiance will benefit also…then she seemed ~really~ embarrassed but I said she could always buy a fragrance with it…I didn’t necessarily mean lingerie.
Gdaughter’s Venus is Virgo too…those two always thick as thieves and very affectionate with each other. But why I will be sensitive to her budding womanhood …Gem daughter’s rising Virgo…I would say she can be quite modest at times as she underestimates her talents.
Jeff Lewis has Pluto in Virgo opposite his Sun (a power tripping signature…not all of couse but I’ve delt with some with this and they will power trip you but you will transform!)
Lewis admits to being OCD and checks for dust with his finger tip. Wonder with his rising is….His Moon is in Libra but his Venus in Aries…
Had to giggle tho when I wiki’d him…
~He sees a therapist and does “scream therapy” to release stress.[5] He is a demanding boss who has been accused of unprofessional narcissism and a tyrannical treatment of his subordinates, counting on his talent to overshadow his personality defects. He admits to being “a great narcissist”; in fact he likes working in front of a mirror. He stated that he had filler put in his lips in 1999 and prides himself on having just the “perfect amount of botox”~
Oh dear…
Hahahahahahahaha! WOW! Yeah, Jeff Lewis can be a real asshole! There was one episode in particular where I think someone wanted to give him a hug and he was very uncomfortable with that. He said something about hugs being awkward and unnatural for him. I laughed so hard cause I can kind of relate to this. But the thing is I secretly want to hug and be hugged all the time even though I find it terribly awkward most of the time. I think Jeff Lewis is actually way more emotional and caring than he’d like to admit/outwardly show. I think he uses sarcasm and humor as a way to mask his insecurities.