50 Shades Of Aquarius
I swear not a single week goes by when i do not get a “request” to post “something-anything” on 50 Shades Of Grey.
Other than ladies, get your hand off it lol, i have but a few thoughts on this phenomenon.
* I don’t know the birth deets of EL James (the author) other than that she was born in 1963. Chinese Year Of The Cat is not really quite enough to go there with an astro-analysis.
* I haven’t read this apart from Not-The-Typical-Virgo reading out about three pages in a stupid accent at a bookshop who now hate us BUT it would seem to be crappily written. Not-The-Typical-Virgo thinks it is heaps more about the male lead being a billionaire than the actual sex. ie; a Mills & Boon with spanking, clamps etc etc.
* Similar genre books The Story Of O & the Sleeping Beauty series Anne Rice did under a pseudonym have way more clit lit cred than this thing.
* Aquarians are always said to be the the most detached and technically proficient of the signs in bed, Scorpio has the S & M rep, Virgos are the closet kink artistes of the Zodiac and the Marquis De Sade was a Gemini.
* Ryan Gosling is apparently/maybe/rumored to be starring as the kinky billionaire in the movie version, really? You know I love how Scorp he is but honestly w.t.f? Did Nine & 1/2 Weeks help anyone’s career?
THOUGHTS?
The lady in the mirror has a different leg up to the one in the ‘real world’.
Refuse to read 50 Shades of Wank but MANY of my friends have. Scary, the numbers. But they haven’t really been exposed to the world of proper erotic fiction before this so maybe it’s no wonder they find this crap titillating.
But hey, if it makes people hot and horny and scores them lots of new, exciting sex, good luck to ‘em. And good on the author for hitting the mark! (Now wait for the gazillions of new pseudo-erotic books as publishers try and cash in on this fad, just like they did with boy wizard books, vampire books, etc)
haha! you are right. photoshop fail.
Well spotted! amazing how that stuff just doesn’t register with most of us
Yes the leg was creeping me out too! Weird choice. Wonder if it was deliberate.
Is it any good? People I know who’ve read it, say not. Maybe it’s the K-Martification of S&M.
Life is too short to waste on bad writing. Except my own, of course.
LOL! The ghetto-fication of BDSM has been going on for awhile now. I think Cosmo had some pithy “try it” before it goes out of style like 10 or more years ago.
The writing is utter crap. I couldn’t get very far.
That was hilariously bad – and I loved the 50 Shades of Cosmocking: http://bust.com/blog/fifty-shades-of-cosmocking.html
Bahahahahaaaaaahaaaaa *snorts green tea through nose*
Thanks Bright, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages. *toilet paper bondage*
OMG. The toilet paper bondage made me laugh so hard.
Thanks for that link, Bright … The ‘Cosmocking’ is fabulous. I’ve forwarded it to my girlfriends – we were just laughing (and crying) about 50 Shades the other day. My friend thinks it’s dangerous because it normalises a rather sick relationship of control and abuse. There’s nothing ‘consensual’ about it. But, then, I haven’t read it. But back to the Cosmocking: I even though the cover was a joke! It’s hysterical. What is that stuff about your ‘vagina acting weird’ after sex lol??!!
That was a real cover? I thought Bust changed the text! Holy carp!
fu@k that mag is really cold-shower!
NOPE.
“K-Martification of S&M.”
yes! Exactly!
Read first chapter- boring, banal and poorly written. I may have hope as a writer yet!
This book is genius. Yeah, the writing is shoddy, but she wrote it during her commute on her Blackberry and self-published to make a little extra money and have fun with it. I’m usually still rubbing my eyes and maybe reading a book – not writing one – during my commute.
It’s changed the entire publishing world in the same way that YouTube has changed Hollywood- publishers now have to compete with self-pubished work and it’s leveled the playing field.
What’s genius is that it’s gotten people to open up and talk about their sexuality. The fact that Grey’s rich and women love that? Well, aren’t we all a little tired of having to do everything ourselves- there’s a backlash coming about that as well (check The Atlantic).
Next up: the author has the rights to the merchandise, so I hope she makes a fortune on 50 Shades bedsheets, lingerie, whatever.
50 shades of beige
Hmm, you certainly would know Ms.
didn’t mean to sound arrogant soz.
I think perhaps I am doing highly perverse beige myself? with all my wifey domestakink right now. 50 shades of Aquarius indeed/
Your comment made me smile. If we need to feel politically correct when blogging on a book like this then something has gone terribly wrong.
true x
actually I didn’t think you were..I was being literal – as in you really would know! haha
xx
50 Shades of Greige: An Armani Retrospective.
Coming soon to a publisher near you.
I would like to do a 50 shades of beige the more I think about this and dedicate it to the art of service slavery in a highly ritualised kink domesticity with a preface from miss abernathy. It would be about the extreme perversity and exacting standards one needs within the home and how right the womans weekly home handy hints was infact one of the original bibles and an entire section on the many uses of baking soda, done in 6 inch stilettos and a rubber apron posing as a modesty flap
Call me if you need a proof-reader! xx
i’ve always wanted a decent home handy hints book
I’d read that.
meh. it’s porn without the pictures. so what if it’s badly written, if people wanted literary fulfilment I suspect they’d turn to other writers, you know? You don’t hear this volume of critique, publicly, about (say) porn films for having no nuance or plot development. Or some magazine for having no idea about the art of photography. i mean honestly. I wonder if it’s veiled criticism of (one kind of) women’s desire / sexuality / fantasy, whatever that is, going public. We’re not used to it as a society. But because there’s no pictures society is also confused because books are supposed to be polite and informative or entertaining or whatever, not this. Back to your safe little bedroom, lady. etc.
Well said!
No one compares porn with Last Tango in Paris but just because a woman wrote this book and it is a book (duh), people are fine with it. And so, I see women reading this everywhere, smirking and smiling… And I am sure these women will be appalled if someone watches porn in their presence in a public place.
I am fine with porn or badly written porn for women and I am happy there are people who are experimenting and happy with their sexuality because of it but no need to justify reading it by calling it a masterpiece.
But hang on, what about Coelho’s Eleven Minutes, which as it happens was actually based on a working girl he knew who explored the satisfaction of being dominated. While the book doesn’t rest on that and goes on to explore other customers/affairs she has, it reveals a far more interesting spectrum of sexuality and soul, to me at least.
Haven’t read 50 shades of grey but that’s neither here nor there as I don’t read a lot of fiction, as well as being terribly slow on to jump on what I’m “supposed” to be reading per the best seller list.
I think i know what you’re saying – referring to the submissive aspect of the whole 50 shades thing? and how this is meant to be “bad” (it’s a young woman, ergo she *must* be powerless) but it’s simply just one way of exploring one aspect of oneself? if that’s what u mean then i agree.
yep, exactly what I mean.. power’s always shifting in relationships and it’s part of how we exercise trust, some days you’re a top, others you’re a bottom. And yes, in a broader sense, understanding one’ sexuality through varying moods of that.
yeah. as with anything , awareness is key..
Saw your comment yesterday Fallen A .. but this zap zone astro doesn’t give me a decent break at the mo…
Love Cohelo! Love pretty much all his work.
Love, even, his attitude for dealing with adversity… I read an interview in a book about ‘finding your tribe’ where he suffered growing up because his parents had incredibly fixed expectations to how he should live his life and what he should do with it – and his movement into writing was a traumatic struggle for him. I love identity transformation and revelation narratives!
Anyway. The exploration of domination … dangerous. The multi-Aqua and I have had the dialogue about how pure domination/submission dichotomy is a bind where there appears no alternative, regardless how it is lived out in sex and relationships. We each took it to some other students in our classes and ….
…50 shades of grey?! personally have not read it and have no intentions. I’m already judging it and the worth of my life without having read this book.
subordination …
xxx
It’s Twilight fanfiction with the names changed. I expect to make trillions when I write my Fifty Shades of Grey fanfiction and change the names.
The tampon scene will never not be the second thing I point out about it.
Two thoughts. People must be very bored and the book can’t be dirty enough if its so popular. I remember seeing the Story of O at the cinema. There were only about 8 people there, including one guy in a mack. Appropriately slightly seedy.
beats me why people would wanna read about something they ain’t gettin themselves. :-/ i picked it up, gave it a cursory scan. was annoyed, jealous and eventually disgusted. oh and then jealous some more.
won’t read.
Oh please do not compare Anne Rice’s work to the BS that is 50 Shades of Emotionally Abusive Relationship. We’re not talking about a strong, confident woman being nurtured by a passionate, healthy BDSM relationship either.
50 Shades is basically a ramped up version of Twilight.
Follow up – You weren’t comparing. But still, I don’t even want Anne used in the same sentence with that ..thing.
I read the Anne Rice trilogy and found it a little disturbing at first. I recommended it to a Virgo girlfriend, not as a come on but as an intellectual thing – like is this erotic or perverse, and she read it in the Amazon jungle with me, tore all the pages out and burned them, saying that was all that was wrong with her love life. So I concluded it was more perverse than erotic. Half the village came to work out where the smoke was coming from too!
It’s a triumph of marketing of mediocrity and I’m sorry but I get fed up with the mindless purchase of a badly written book by buyers shooting off the cliff of comercial crap like lemmings. Utterly depressing that this is a best-seller. And yes, I’ve read part of it, badly written and plain bloody boring.
My sentiments exactly!!!
ditto!
yes, there’s better books on erotic out there. this one is hyped to the gills and that’s why it’ll continue to be a best seller and then a Hollywood film. ugh.
Her writing style does not sit well with me.
This. Yes, “people are reading~!!” but is that all we’re looking for? Let’s celebrate reading awesome stuff, not simply opening a book.
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215?auto_login_attempted=true
Wow! Jolly good show!
That was so much fun to read with the morning cafe. Very clever.
Gasp murmur whisper…it’s an anaphrodisiac (opposite to aphrodisiac).
Helen Razer’s review & tweets on this book were hilarious.
do share link to helen razer
No worries hope this works.
http://www.sponsoredlady.com/product-review-masturbation-to-fifty-shades/
Why read some whoa! Crap when you’ve actually experienced it, not with some monetary bigwig but an equal? The emotional intricies are amazing with the right person. I found it to be equal. Usually the bottom is powerful in their own right, it’s that giving over of power that’s intoxicating. Does this woman explore that in her book?
Yes, it is said the submissive has the power or that is what s taught by a trained dominatrix.
for some reason I thought it was about an older woman and the grey was her hair. Was not a big fan of 9 and a half weeks so have no plans to read this book. the whole thing is not my aesthetic but I did like the french move Romance. It was well…..french.
I read it too on a whim to see WTF it was all about and was sorry within the first few chapters. Its like reading the trashy tabloids when you’re waiting in the doctors office – and about as satisfying as eating bubblegum for breakfast. I left it out for my workmates to claim it. I felt like I needed a mind douche afterwards…Urrgh. Some Anais Nin should remedy this….
PS. NOOO! DON’T DO IT RYAN!!
Read the book, followed the ensuing discussions among feminists – is reading it about sexual empowerment? Or plain old submission to patriarchy? The debate happens always in extremes, so I will skip that part.
That said, the book was so poorly written, the plot was so inane, regardless the sex of the writer – it is a hideous piece of writing. And the plot – as others noted, show me a journalism student who doesn’t have an email address and a laptop or PC. If in doubt, check thr one star reviews people kindly left at amazon.
My beef with the book? It was about a young female whose needs are taken care of by a rich male. Of course, as it happens in real life, she is expected to do what the guy tells her to do, because she let the guy control her life. This may appeal to some women, I am simply not one of them.
porn for the married
if you want a sexy book read a proper erotica, thats, like, a legitimate genre and everything, this is just silly,this is just erotica for all the people who secretly wanted it all along and were to scared to actually put a tiny bit of effort into there curiosity and look into it, so now they dont have to live with themselves having done something slightly not normal under the guise of seeing what all the craze is about, dont these people know you can just do things and not tell people, you can have, like, as many secrets as you can manage to juggle, now people are going with the popular watered down but safe over just doing what they actually want, secrets are great, but secrets from yourself, come on now
also, I dont know why the hell I have an opinion, but still, this is all so lame, ugh
Well I must be a brute. I have Anais Nin Delta of Venus, and truthfully, meh.
I downloaded a sample FSOG to my kindle and I actually was entertained.
Haven’t got anything to say about 50 snores of grey but have read some hilarious reviews.
But i now have an excuse to share this…..
http://ryangoslingartsadmin.tumblr.com/
Mystic, you are awesome.
I can’t even begin to feign interest in this book. Not like it is the first of its kind. I’ll stick to conspiracy stories for now. I will read some of it eventually.
Also would love to go to book stores and read books aloud!
Yes, not well written, I read all 3 and ended up flicking through a lot of pages.
HOWEVER, I think the fundamental story of an extremealy abused / neglected young boy opening up to real love s quite amazing.
There is something of worth in this storyline, both of them negotiating their intimacy boundaries (emotional and physical). Thta’s what got me in.
Such ‘discussions’ must be a part of any modern romance as we live n a ‘porn dominated’ culture and this impacts private worlds as well.
Not interested in this at all. My husband found a pile of them for ten bucks and as he knows I am a book buff, he was all excited that he found a bargain. Oh please, I said with a snort, as I walked off. Sweet husband, too crappy to be even classified as literature. I doubt anyone actually enjoys this book? No doubt reading it to keep up with the girls
Some time ago there was a fetish community I followed and they did an astro survey to see which sign had the most Doms and which had the most subs. Scorpios had the most for Doms, no surprise there, but Leos were well in the lead for submissives. At least a few hundred people responded the survey, which was in comment form. Any thoughts on this? Leos are known for being not kinky, and certainly not submissive.
Its not the first time I have heard this either. A close Piscean friend noted that any Leo girl he dated or was friends with was extremely submissive sexually.
that’s interesting and yes applies to leo friends i know who definitely go that way. Subs also include Virgos and Katakas. Admittedly this is only a very small sub set of people that I know that much about.
Doms I have met are Sag and Scorp.
Aside from Scorps, I’ve noticed the cardinal signs, the bossy ones, to be doms too.
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