The Love Zombie Recovery Meeting
Venus trine Neptune on a Void Moon – like NOW – can be a trigger for Recovering Love Zombies, just saying. Antidotes; Avarice, Vanity, Gourmet Food, Fitness, Being Kind Those Peeps Being Zapped by the Zap Zone.
Also, i am getting the site made over in html5 – you won’t see a difference but it will auto-adjust to awesomely suit any device that you are accessing it from. Expensive but worth it. The other improvement coming is a calendar app for the Monthly page so that you can look way ahead, click on a date and quickly grok the tone of the day. Not a horoscope – just a speed alert as to Merc Retro, Full Moons, good for love/biz or not etc. Like the Scheduler is now but more digital – not analogue. You like?
I am also revisiting the Tarot App. Because my reservation was that there are so many sites out there doing purely Tarot (with dozens of different spreads, decks etc) that it would be not worth doing here. BUT my feedback has been that (a) peeps would like to peruse tarot here and that (b) it would be nice to do so sans ads everywhere making out like you’re a loser. Also, i had an idea of how to make it gorgeous & unique.
Back to Love Zombies In Recovery – let Venus-Neptune in trine give you the DIVINE PERSPECTIVE on whatever form of strangeness your Love Zombie manifested as. At the same time, as i have been banging non-stop on about in the Horoscopes, Mars-Saturn in Libra really is demanding a super-chic form of pragmatism at the moment. Go naive, unrealistic or unworldly at your own peril.
Mystic, how fantastic the calendar app will be! Thank you. Cos at the moment I copy and paste important bits into iCal.
I am a Love Zombie in recovery, actively taking steps to move forward but not being able to really get into and enjoy the new, because my horoscopes tell me that something stalled may still come into full, beautiful being soon. So just trying to accept what’s there on a day to day basis and operate as a cautious but loving spirit.
Not about Love Zombie but flying off handle:
Divine perspective today is a must. It’s very early in the morning here and people are grating on my nerves already. Someone cut off my sentence, other sent an off-hand response to my inquiry. Thankfully, I read your post before breakfast, it helped to keep a grip on my reactions.
About my Love Zombie days: My divine lesson is I prefer reality to illusion any day. Seeing things as it is dispels emotional burns.
I agree with riverwalker. Calendar will help a lot
I just had hard-to-complain-about-but-annoying service. Attitude all over it. Nearly frowned but did a quick reset, continued to speak in MY best customer service tones (though i was customer) but whilst not actually looking at the little man, just beside his face (where his other head would be). He dialled it back and looked a tad uncomposed.
I revert to using monosyllabic words..It rattles the other party. Usually I end up a short talk on why this kind of behavior is not acceptable, but this time I wasn’t in the mood. There is an internal clock to start the day, any time earlier is inefficient to cope with random dolts.
Wednesday and Thursday were my days for that.. ugh!
I got through using various coping strategies but man what a drain.
Mystic, the calender will be tops! As will the upgrade and the tarot but definitely the calender. Those kind of trends are super useful for planning ahead.
I’m not love-zombied. I’m sort of numb to all that at the mo. I’m not sure why but it’s not like I feel like I’m missing out
Ohhhh LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of the advanced scheduler!! ADORE!!!
I was lamenting the lack of such a thing when planning a shindig in September. Had to choose the date “blind” so to speak.
Tarot sounds cool too…
And totally grokking the need for chic pragmatism at the moment. STAT.
i really like this picture – to me it sums up the love-z gig – a nebulous being – with stars – almost astrologically arranged
– but really nothing there .. nothing substantial .. real or sustaining. .. nothing nourshing ..
I thought something similar – the dreamy gaze, the empty space, stars, the non-existent embrace
Yup, signs of LZ state. 
That’s how I saw the pic too. Very Neptune relationships transit hell.
I think some of the tarot site readings treat one like a loser. Tarot here would be informative & mature. Calendar also very helpful for sceduling way ahead. Great tools to have access to.
Gosh i thought it was just me, and i’d see these freaking fakey psychic ads and ads about stomach fat and Lerve prediction ads and cheesy names with z in them, and think dude you have GOT to get a grip. But i really like the interps on the site i’m referring to as they’re quite a different way of looking at the cards than i originally learned, plus there are some decks i gave away and no longer have. Tarot’s my learning tool. I don’t HAVE stomach fat or wrinkle or lerve issues, and I don’t WANT to speak with the amazingly accurate Zander!
oh i KNOW! What is with those f-ing “this one wierd trick to lose stomach fat” OMFG I want to strangle the company/ person / people who make those ads. Everytime I see them I think… oh it doesn’t matter what I think. but yes. mystic’s tarot would kick ass.
*giggles*
Mystic,
I like!!! You’re always so ingenius, it’s like you read my mind before I’m conscious of it. Thank you
Is that Bogart with Lauren Bacall?
he must have been wearing heels
yes, just about to reach down to her neck and suck the last few drops of life out of her. OUT DAMNED QI VAMP…LET THIS ZOMBIE ALONE !!! CANT YOU SEE SHES HAD ENOUGH !!!
YES! The Calendar app sounds like just the ticket – thank you for evolving with the technology – the baddest shit happens when I come here on my mobile it’s very frustrating – also can NEVER log in on my mobile to the dailies. Yet I can on laptop or at work/home etc. Android phone. Any ideas about how I can fix that? I can log in to my webmail etc so it’s not a setting on the phone.
Finally in a come down off my McEnroe x Elton schizo fit at everything only to find I’m back in status quo. Love zombies I know who almost broke free are back entrenched in self esteem v dependence warfare… and I don’t want to hear the same problems again. I’m beyond sympathy
Someone here very aptly described the last few months as being in a waiting room/ check in limbo.
I’m getting the “pulled off the flight and back to waiting” due to unspecified glitch this end of the world.
LOVE the planned site redevis. Would be hilarious if say I found myself trapped on the moon with naught but my hyper-intuition for comms and the only functioning app on my phone would be this site?
I think I’d manage a way outta there anyway via mind-tapping other life forms (in this case I’d be the alien) on their way to Andromeda and showing my space cred with Mystic’s app!
ooh, v good FA. and the other alien species would be AMAZED at your astrological capabilities c/o the smartphone, you would become queen…
I have to say it would be awesome to be able to read the text on this webpage properly on my blackberry.
hahahahahahaha
I’m a latecomer to the “Overly Attached Girlfriend” meme… I thought fitting for a love zombie post
http://www.buzzfeed.com/samir/overly-attached-girlfriend-is-the-girlfriend-mem?utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=buzzfeed
and Crazy Girlfriend meme
http://cavemancircus.com/2012/01/12/the-best-of-the-crazy-girlfriend-meme/
I don’t know, I love this meme bizness. People’s experiences of very personal things can also be universal …problems … and I love making light of these things
these make me look positively EVOLVED and very sanguine – thanks for posting Pi!!
Totes off plot – gorgeous pic of sea nymphette in weekend scopes is The Star from Shadowscapes Tarot made real…
http://www.shadowscapes.com/Tarot/cards.php?suit=0&card=17
aww that’s such a beautiful pic! all those golden fishies swimming around her
and I love the use of watercolour.
Just came home from work and found the “women seeking men” column highlighted on craigslist via my boyfriend. told him not to come home and basically fuq off. you want “real”? don’t go looking for other women online, THE END. i feel very saturn about it. sad, all things considered, he really doesn’t even know where its coming from in his mind…like he’s “just curious”. sorry…not good enough for me. hope i did the right thing
the absolute right thing to do. fuq that!
Yeah, not fun to have to make a decision you weren’t even contemplating having to make..
What was that caption on the recent Aries thread?
Got a chuckle…”they gave her no choice”
Amusing in that regard (movies) but not in real life when heart and feelings are involved. Been there, done that.
Tell him when he’s sorted maybe you’ll talk..
What’s that song out “Call me maybe”…just be ~maybe~ and let him sweat it a bit meanwhile…
Good luck darling…x
Ooops, that’s a shock for both of you. Hope you work it out Missfine, is he worth it ? Another question, looking at that page on Craigslist is possibly not unlike checking out girls at the beach ? Would that have got him sacked ? I know you feel betrayed but guys can do stupid things out of curiosity.
I do hope you have the chance to get to the bottom of it , get the reason why he’s looking. Only if of course on the balance he is worth it.
good on you for drawing boundaries – its just too easy today for people to “stray” due to massive cultural changes via media etc. He might learn some self control now, and/or to think twice before indulging a ‘curiosity’ – good luck and hopefully he will understand and respect your POV
missfine, from my experience, you absolutely did the right thing. I have been around that block several times with different guys, and I have heard a whole range of excuses, including what davidl has mentioned that it may just be like checking out babes on the beach. I know you meant that in a supportive way, davidl, but there’s a crucial difference – on the beach the babe is not giving the guy a direct line of communication. The perving that goes on in a guy’s head on the beach is just that, just an “mmm, that looks tasty,” whereas when you’re checking out babes online, there’s a tinge more intimacy, because the girl’s reaching out to the guy reading her profile and in the guy’s mind he’s tempted to reach back. Not to mention that now that you know he’s been looking on craigslist you are not wrong to suspect he’s looking other places online or has even been in contact with someone online. That’s what the purpose of reading the online ads, right? Not wrong to assume he’s been using the service for the purpose for which it’s intended. Plus, it’s been my experience that guys rarely limit themselves to just one online source. I have spent way too much time doubting myself and wanting to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, but every time I lost. One of my friends who really takes no crap from her guy tells him that there’s only reason to be looking online and that’s to be finding a girl, and if he already has a girl, then what’s the reason to be looking. I think her direct approach is the way to go. If you should decide to give him one more chance, go ahead, but be really sure and prepared to cut it off completely if it happens again after you’ve given him a second chance, because otherwise you’re really in for a long road of pain because a second break of trust is a guaranteed sign that he’s not capable of resisting checking out the catalogue of girls. I have a friend who makes fun of the match.com advertising campaign about how many marriages have resulted in couples meeting on match; he says, yeah, but guess how many breakups and divorces result from guys checking out match. Funny that they don’t advertise that, because surely the number of breakups that result far exceed the number of actual relationships.
Yep. You did the right thing girl.. don’t second guess yourself
facebook is the same way. i have seeen more drama and break ups due to fb. i only seem to find players on match.com.
Eat him.
If it were me i would eat him, give him the most amazing head job he has ever experienced. He wouldn’t look again!
Men are not programmed to be faithful as they are biologically tuned to spread their seed. It’s not their fault.
What’s happened to forgiveness, why so black & white. It cannot just be one time then but many to cause such a strong reaction?
Seriously?!?
Haha, Pegs! Ha… ha… um, yeah: that’s so not the kind of eating I was referring to. I mean, like with a fork and a knife. No way should missfine degrade herself by putting his undeserving, skank tool in her mouth. No way.
I think missfine is correct to expect as least as good as she gives (so to speak). And if he so disregards missfine’s time and affections by trawling for chics in missfine’s sanctuary (aka home), then he ought to be recycled and used for the only obvious thing he’s good for: food.
Knives out, missfine: soup’s on.
you are truly scary,
I do think that people make silly mistakes for all sorts of reasons. I don’t think situations like these are as simple as just writing off someone. Take it from someone who has made mistakes in the past and has had others mistakes dropped on me, if you just blame the other 100% and walk away, your bound to miss out on what was your part in the play and in the process lose a lot of important people in your life.
I can understand Missfine’s shock, but after the shock wears off, the chance for a real open discussion for both sides begins. I value the people in my life to much to just right them off.
All this of course depends on the type of relationship Missfine had and whether this may be just the excuse she needs to get out of a poor relationship. If it was a good one, she needs to give the guy a chance to explain…this might even become forgiveness ?
I know that that is not a scorpio strength, forgiveness, but its worked for me in the past, big time.
You are truly welcome, davidl. The scary is just for you
Hi DavidL.. I have to agree with you. Although my situation is considered a little desperate.. I cannot write this person off because he hasn’t spoken to me directly or like we use to since November. I just can’t do it. If I am taking your post correctly people are brought together to learn from each other. If you cut someone off “cold turkey” you might miss out on some growing experience for yourself. .. am I on the same page?
xo!
Exactly, its usually worth at least a debrief and an open mind. Its called growing up.
It’s funny I have this couple that I admire. They are so in love with each other. He flaunts his manly desires to view beautiful women and his wife is right there not complaining. To me it looks like the best relationship because he can do whatever he wants (fantasize, view, play with himself) and she knows what it is all about and accepts it! That is what a good relationship is all about. [Do I need a counseling.. I look to you all for approval.. LOL!! ].. xo!!
She may not need these fantasies…but what if she openly did want to view and pleasure herself over other people? Would there be equal acceptance?
Exactly waht I would like to know. Curious as to whether this truly goes both ways
Debriefing? Oh yes, I love a lively chat before dinner!
*tucking napkin into shirt collar*
lol
Scorp Inc, I think I love you.
But don’t you think, Davidl, that the guy should make the effort to explain and ask to be understood, even if not so explicitly in those words of course? I would think if he didn’t then that’s a reflection of him not really caring about MF. He’s been sprung and he’ll just move onto a more convenient option.
lets face it unless we get more info from MF we are all clutching at straws.
So far the drift is that he is an ‘addicted online perv”
with no shame, looking out for the next bit of meat to sink his sperm into…(thats if Scorp Inc doesn’t butcher him first and down him with a nice chianti !
I would agree with that character analysis. A horrible experience for MF, whatever he is.
“Men are not programmed to be faithful as they are biologically tuned to spread their seed. It’s not their fault.”
Anon.. when I read Pegs post I had to agree with her. I really have to agree with her. I have been reading SO many “relationship” advice emails and honestly what I take from it is.. just what Peg says. [covering face and running out of the room... door slams shut]… LOL!! xo!!
Forgiveness is not an appalling attitude darling, its actually a mature one. Your last century comment possibly relates more to your attitude ? Sheesh you lot are like a bunch of Victorian old maids at times.
David, my comment was not about forgiveness!!! I was about Pegs’ “Victorian old maids” attitude that it’s never a man’s fault! and that a woman should just give a man a good blow job…. yeah, that will solve everything! pfft
yeah, that did sort of strike me as reward for questionable behaviour. Maybe there was more to Peg’s comment but the nature of typing stuff on a blog means it’s not always easy to get across.
Lighten up Ladies.
When Scorp said ‘eat him’ i just couldn’t resist.
And btw have never ever said i am an expert, just compassionate.
I give heart not head.
xox
David, perhaps you should re-read Anon’s comment. Had nothing to do with forgiveness & everything to do with questioning an attitude that suggests men are not to be responsible for their actions as boohoo they are programmed to spread their seed.
Name calling aside, I agree with davidl. It comes down to whats happened in the past and whether the relationship is worth it. If you can forgive and let go of it I would. And a good BJ will remind him how lucky he is you did
Gem.. I agree and LOL!! xo!
Sadly I have to agree with Pegs.
I have been in Missfines shoes one to many times. Far from pleasant.
A real man will stick around and try to explain himself in open honest communication is what I learned from the experience. If he doesn’t then I eat him for dinner and throw the scraps to the dogs!
That was me ^
actually that theory has been disproved. U could just as easily say that women are biologically programmed to get as much different mens sperm up there so they they compete. not to be rude but your attitude is incredibely old fashioned, like you are from an ancient generation.
I think that men often use sex as an outlet for emotional insecurity. Maybe women use shopping ?
Gender can be a lot more complex than that, and so is a human being. We’re a lot more than a souped up bunch of biological imperatives.
Emotional insecurity outlets for this female have been: sex, men, sex, drink, drugs, loud behaviour, fast driving, reckless behaviour, more sex, clothing choices, quietitude, antique shopping (!), smart mouthing and bar fights, OCD cleaning behaviours. Oh skin mutilation during a few teenage years – yuk. Also rehearsal and performing, writing, a martial mouth. And reading – heaps of reading.
Some people willingly or subconsciously conform to social norms, so i guess you could be right on a simplistic level, for simple people. (Prob sounds patronising but i don’t mean to nor how else to put it.)
Honestly, i think “men do” and “women do” is unhelpful conceptually.
Forgiveness is a human issue involving reponsibility, honesty, trust. Regardless of behaviour, gender based or just idiosyncratic. It’s really between individuals. And it’s not the same as tolerance or passivity or wishful hanging on.
YUP ancient that’s me it brings understanding of peeps foibles, men & women. Along with understanding comes forgiveness but not forgetfulness.
Much respect for that wisdom, Pegasus. And for David’s. I know i don’t have to agree wholeheartedly with everything you say to also be respectful of it. I prefer to listen (when my opinions diverge) and think about it for a while.
You’re so on the money – forgiveness is something we learn over time. Age is not a dirty word, nor an insult. I think it’s quite beautiful
I don’t think anyone was disputing the idea of forgiveness.It was the other comments that I think peeps found questionable. I know I did
Let me clarify – ordinarily I am not of the man-hater, castrate them all at the slightest mistake, but when it comes to the online stuff, my attitude is different. I swear I could get a Ph.D. in studying online dating behaviors I have witnessed so much, and when it comes to sniffing around on online dating/ hook-up websites, I find that the behavior engenders a rather pernicious form of addiction. It feeds into this belief that there will be something better around the next corner; let me just stick my hand in the candy jar to pull out another something sweet. Let me keep repeating, this is based only on my own experience, so of course others might find it different, but missfine sought others’ opinions, and I have a strong one on this because I have seen it so many times that I consider it fact. I could care less if a guy hangs out with his friends; I could care less if a guy doesn’t call for a few days; I could care less if a guy does social things with other women, but when it comes to him checking women out online, that is my hot button because it bespeaks a restlessness that will always result in me being too far down the totem pole for him. And Pegs, I tried your technique; I’ve done that “like I invented it,” but with the online-addicted guy, it doesn’t matter. That smiling image on the screen with the flowery profile language might do it better thinks he. Guys may stray, but the online-addicted guy always has his mind elsewhere. And if a guy is merely “curious,” he can ask his girlfriend to sit in front of the computer with him and see what it’s like.
All of my glib aside, I agree with your sentiments here, anon. Like you, I’ve been there; and also like you, I am not a man-hater. Bullshit hater, you bet; man-hater, hardly. Wtf with the labels, though, really? Whatever.
I agree. I am disgusted by talk that men are “programmed” in anyway and that women, living by their own comfort level are “man haters.” Bullshit. We are all human beings and all worthy and in need of compassion. To say we are this-or-that quality or program is dehumanizing.
And its great if a couple wants to realize kink fantasies together. Hell, some people really get off on the whole cuckold thing. But scripting it out together is an act of intimacy. Coming home to find your man perusing his options is not. I’m sure there will be more conversation in this particular scenario for MF. But I don’t think her initial response to the situ should be judged as prudish. I’m sure her partner would understand that – given enough time – too. Borders are hard to put down. But they are the framework for deeper intimacy. Good luck MF!
Word! Well said
Yes you’ve hit the nail on the head regarding the addictive profile. It’s rather different from being temporarily attracted to people who happen to be there, especially on the beach as David mentioned.
now he’s addicted ????
Yes David, he is now addicted and possibly a small animal killler
Jeeez, and first thing i look at in the paper is the death notices -quite simply they interest me.
Are we talking Gerbils ? Bastard !!!
OUTrageous – bet the guy’s ears are burning!!
He sold small children to the persian carpet trade to feed his addiction. But became embroiled in financial matters of concern to a Ukrainian mafia overlord. His contact, offering financial rescue in exchange for favours, Oktaviana, kept her profile on craigslist under cover. The killing of small animals was a foray gone horribly wrong into an honest trade: butchery. But the suburban ladies only wanted high grade beef or nothing smaller than a delightful baby lamb. He tried one final attempt for help through “Oktaviana” via her craigslist profile…
Seldom one to laugh out loud. Diary note: 2.58pm 11/8/12 – laugh out loud!!!
mille! love. astrogaga perfection x
this is GENIUS x
David, You’re a married man in your 50′s. What would you know what we have to put up with in this day and age.
Yeah David. You shouldnt even know how to use a keyboard, let alone be allowed to dribble all this nonsense about forgiveness, perspective, understanding, “walk a mile in my boots” perpsective crap. Back in to your armchair my friend and if you must, just read, no comments…ok
Keyboard ? I have a blog secretary who does all the actual computy thingos..problem is she works from a Manilla based call centre and they are flooded out …goddam monsoon..now where we’re we ? Blog ? Shit ? Oh Fuq ….NURSE!!!!!
luv ya Dave – you ARE a brave man!
Depending on how long I’d been with him, and the nature of our relationship, I would have given him a chance to explain himself.
Telling someone not to come home is really, really harsh.
Even if this was the final straw, I would have asked him to come home and pack his stuff and then go !
Thanks Mystic. I look forward to the added features to your site.
Wow! I was just on my way to my monthly massage today and wondered how that calendar app was coming along. It would enhance my world so much!
I always try to schedule massages for the dark moon, and when I can, to a Taurus moon. The last three have been on Taurus moons (by accident) and all have been transcendent!
Other than that, I like to align homebody/housewitchery activities to the moon – sometime I get it right by accident, but if I could plan ahead I could be so much more efficient and in tune with the universe.
Bring on the app!!!
ps I love you Mystic xxx
So, let this be a warning to you all. This is a volatile environment in which to construct one of those ‘I’m just writing ridiculous things to get the energy out’ emails because your usually very agile iPhone fingers may slip over the send and before you know it you may have sent off a come fuck me missive that really you had very rationally decided earlier would be a very silly thing to send.
Step away from your phones …
Whattie somehow I’m channeling you in this maybe it’ll all be okay weird …
hallelujah to that advice sista (or bro!)
you can pull it off fo sure xxx
what are you wearing…?
hehehe jokes
if it doesn’t work out there’s always the erotic novellas on itunes
I learned not to put in sender’s name/address in the To: line.
Or to handwrite: it uses different brain synapses from typing action (neural pathway studies) so may be even more cathartic.
Less shame thinking switch: make some money by sending it off to harlequin
wise as always mille!!
Hey some things you learn the hard way!
Mille, yes, me too. I make absolutely sure before I write anything that the recipient’s name is at least in the text section of the email (if I don’t know it off by heart – e.g. I also use this technique for drafting other important emails e.g. to a boss, or a job application cover email etc).
And definitely for text messages – the blank To: field also means that only I know who the (draft) is intended for
.
also learnt this through my Harm-Minimisation email scheme after a couple of near misses. (near hits?)
ps mille is that true? typing versus handwriting? might explain why I always hand write poems, can’t handle typing lecture notes always have to use pen… love my scrawl, this way to you always know who’s written it, too
Yes, brain synapses fire up more evenly on both left and right sides of brain, plus more synapses shown firing during the handwriting process.
Wish i could remember where i saw this research but it was years ago, and embedded in something else i was learning.
excellent.
Yes, well. I forgot about the no email address rule, was a tad too early in the process.
Oh well … I’m currently seeing the funny side and overall very little real harm can come of it so, whatever really.
Shall totally ride the weird wave and see where it goes. And once safely back on dry land go get my sanity filters checked.
No actual response yet so maybe my stance will change when I get a sense of the impact …
It’s not easy to be careful when you’re hot and bothered
or drunk
oh god well you know, don’t be careful when drunk…waste of drinking money
Ha, exactly!
so true
haha maybe it will be a “good” mistake
Wolfie, I keep trying to acknowledge my amusement at your joke, however WordPress doesn’t appear to acknowledge a *snort* as a legitimate comment.
Or they’ll all turn up later.
Anyway, funny.
yeah sometimes it won’t accept a wordless grin either – but i acknowledge and accept your snort.
I was hoping to come back to tales of debauchery / an exchange of bodily fluids or at least a book recommendation but alas…
Will keep my (insane? am a bit miffed about that if the truth be known – there IS usually a perfectly sane reason for my particular flavour of madness
) fingers crossed for you and await an update.
I can’t imagine anything that you would do could possibly be considered insane. However me doing things that may be completely everyday for you, may be judged differently. It’s a context specific designation surely? xxo
i love it when you talk dirty to me shell
the next time someone questions my random acts of ‘whatever it is’ i will be invoking the context specific designation rule.
It’s all about contextualisation right?
Alas ladies, no stories of debauchery or newly discovered ‘entertainment’ sites to report. (Though I get them when I just google my name so that’s all ho hum).
However the dude is a taurus – it may be taking him a while to build up steam.
Or he’s decided I’m mental …
I’m cleaning the house nonetheless
**hand shoots straight up ** sign me up for a diploma pls. Il go on to a masters, do some important ground breaking research and rid the word of LZ s who will all blossom like beautiful butterflies .ts a W.i.P
digital monthly planner will be fabulous and necessary, call it a zap zone tool i think, one needs to be on their game, planning and preparing, I believe, while tuning into the heart and universal consciousness just to get the milk! well stop that, no more milk, do you know what cruelty cows suffer to get milk, damn, ifucking love milk, but it is also making me incredibly fat, along with lashing of butter, that is butter behaving like its the fucking renaissance and im at court doing whatever I want with my diet, but no no no, Call THIS my friends JUPITER TRAnsiting SUN and the following stellium of personal planets… tada!!!
WEll now let me say I am not being naive and I am onto myself as, yes, I have a conscience, despite what some may say of most of us humans and our lack of it… Saturn coming up to transit my ascendant in a short two months time, has me doing yoga on a friday night, living in a town where I know no one, yoga at home by myself mind you, but I must say I have a spunky poodle to look after and two proud chooks… hee hee… I will find fun and love in the warrior buidling of saturn discipline.: )
hahaha go P Gemmy !
YES – do the apps. Very exciting. Especially the Tarot app. There are plenty out there. I’ve yet to find one that really rocks.
omg. for all my whingeing about “love” on previous posts, I totally spent this evening looking at online dating sites. Goldmines, I tell you! I can’t believe I spend / spent so much time mooning over actual real people when I can just trawl those sites. Mind you I retain a horror of actually joining them and running the risk of having someone actually recognise me, but it’s a door I had forgotten about. If it’s of interest the profiles I keep clicking on to “read further” are almost entirely Cancer or Pisces! some Aries and Scorp. lolooolol And they’re all outdoorsy action men, haha there you go Pi it’s all out there. *remains on couch, drinking wine and watching Breaking Bad instead*
LOL Pi – love your dry sense of humour. you could add that to your personal attributes in your profile! When i occasionally do such trawling, I often find patterns in the star signs of the people I click on. You could always have a hidden profile, and only contact people who interest you – its a safe way of doing it. just sayin’…
hey, I didn’t know that was an option. hmm. thanks Q!
check the actual sites you’re visiting but defo an option with the dreaded rsvp (or as its affectionately known RSPCA) – that way “you control the action”, which I think is important to short circuit any lurking LZ bacteria!
bacteria lol!
I always tell my kids when thay are complaining about me to go report me to the RSPCA ha!
Didn’t see any whinging there, you seem very considered – to me at least. Have a couple friends who online date and some of them ended up with nice people. Peeps are more free with photos online these days, I find it challenging too. But you could try it and always take it off later?
thanks Creatrix..
I might “try” it (AAAGHHH years of resolve crashing down!! The shame!!) .. but then again as soon as I think that, I think of 10507 why I simply cannot be bothered getting involved… hmm
I like Quintile’s RSPCA description.
um, 10507 *reasons*
Pi, Plenty Of Fish is the best one, and you can hide your profile & totally control the, um, action. I met a lot of nice, genuine guys on there before falling in love (yes, Love!) with awesome Kataka/Gem rising/Scorp moon dude!! Good luck!
I vote peril! extreme drama-worthy peril!
Still nobody real to love except myself. I look all day, every day, and at all times. I’m dressed to the nines and ready to swoop on the right guy.
No one has materialized and quite frankly no one looks good enough for me to even try to talk to. All i see are flaws….flaws…..FLAWS. I’m natal Mars in Libra and I thought this would get better after Mars left Virgo, but no. My nit-pickiness has almost DOUBLED since Mars went into Libra. Shit i even look at my friends in “satisfied” relationships that I ENVIED INTENSELY when Saturn was in Libra; now I’m like…well that guy is a total fat-ass loser with no job….and shoot…you girl….you need to get real yourself. I’ve been handing pink-slips to the world whether they asked for it or not. Needless to say I’ve been a major fucking @ss-hat to everyone.
I’m ok with that.
I choose to fantasize about my long distance crush because no one can hold a candle to this person and the physical distance makes him inaccessible. I know this person probably has flaws that would send me running to Antartica, but until i know what they are, up there he will stay.
and you know what else is wrong?
My inutition is broken. I want it back. It’s like my internal GPS that tells me what to do and when to do it is not working.
Has anyone else’s intuition been acting broken lately?
Yes. Natal Mars in Libra here too. Intuition is something I do believe I’ve unwittingly pink-slipped myself. Ego has taken over for a bit for now as I am in planning mode. I too must say I cannot spot an attractive guy or “happy” relationship. But I am not going to fantasize over the most recent case of Mr. Neptune either. I’m too pissed. His written perspective is “if its meant to happen, it will happen all on its own.” WTF? Fate is for lazy people. I’m a Virgo. I don’t L.O.A. my world into being. LMAO! But good luck to him in trying. I’m in planning mode…for myself.
“Fate is for lazy people” –LOL! That is my mantra too. LOA is like short hand for sit-on-you-hands-and-do-nothing. zone out and don’t care.
I still need intuition to decide which in the 100 million directions to shoot for ya know? That my eyesight in pea soup fog is more accurate than my inuition is right now? It’s downright disconcerting.
I hear ya. I am on the job hunt, trying to figure out the next step but step one (getting an offer) needs to happen first. My point being – I need my intuition (now, as always) but I am so focused on figuring out what comes next that I can’t hear it. I’m sure its still there. I mention this because maybe there is something on your mind, a need to know what comes next that is blocking the intuitive knowing for you too, fellow mars in libra. In any case, this time like all others will pass.
Well a (s00per psychic) Cancerian friend of mine said to me that perhaps my intuition is working just fine and that I don’t feel like it is working because it allowed me to get burned on a risk. Normally, it doesn’t do that so I am ASSUMING it doesn’t work.
Maybe HER intuition works like that, but when mine is working those sort of negative consequences don’t materialize.
So maybe it is working…..????
I’m just struggling to see the good in what has come about lately.
and no it has nothing to do with Love Zombie shite for once.
I had my intuition called into question on a work situ, but time is showing that intuition was right, in spite of the negative consequences. My point is, time will tell. Don’t sweat it. Its hard for me – a recovering love zombie – to not be pissed at my intuition. I’m not quite sure what it is at all. I know, it isn’t a relationship. But it certainly made me feel like I was in one. That’s a negative consequence. Point being, resistance to what is in front of your face is what blocks your flow, not positive or negative experiences.
what a complex assemblage it is: consciousness, intuition, mind, ego. embodied cognition – yes, can be hard at times to ‘unpack’ what is going on. My intuition has most often been overrided by ego, more than other components.
I agree – ego is killer. All the oracles I’ve been consulting are like “detach from the outcome” and I’m like “wtf!?!” I’m trying to plan a move here! Details. Timelines. Rental agreements. Etc. All that “I control the outcome” stuff is necessary for planning, but its also ego. And I’m having a hard time giving my ego time off lately. Ick.
interesting 12H! there is a balance between the big visin at the end, and being fully attuned to the steps along the way, keeping a weather eye on the steps and letting the outcome take care of itself. Doing each step as mindfully, and as well as possible and trusting that this will lead to the right outcome
I’d agree with Q here, it is one thing to work towards a certain outcome, i.e. submit applications, make calls, house-hunt etc.
It is a different thing – imo – to then not hang your hat on a *specific* outcome. Because once you do that, imo again, we start to feel pressure and anxiety / stress around that point. Acting to make something happen, doing everything we can to pave the way for “the universe” to provide that, and then releasing all expectations, is like when we put the cake in the oven so it can cook, or when we send off the excellent proposal or presentation to the client. There’s a point where we relinquish control, even if brief, and trust that we have done everything we can. The actions are probably exactly the same as “maintainnig control” all the way, BUT imo it’s the emotional state we attach to the outcome. Not getting exactly what we want doesn’t mean that we don’t get something even more amazing, or equally amazing that we perhaps hadn’t considered. I might need to take my own advice here too, lol. xxx
Sorry, not ‘emotional state we attached to the outcome’ as such. I mean the sensation around getting *that* outcome. I don’t know if I am quite making sense there. BUT 12v regardless, good luck! I know you can make it happen. Maybe the oracle is also remindig you to be ‘at peace’ while you do this. x
well said Pi!
Lots of good points guys! Yes wanting an exact outcome is not useful for me.. I suck at predicting that stuff,. It was more of a list of a series of decent to ok outcomes i was hoping for. But what i got out of the mess is i spent money i didn’t really have and should’ve saved. My art work got damaged by said curators an my paperwork lost. I didn’t have to win, but how about not kicking me in the teeth universe when a girl is down?
“Fate is for lazy people” – love this! I like to say, ‘yes trust the universe, but give it good material to work with’.
love that C, give love- recieve love – simple really
love hanging withmy fello mars in librans here- I have been relying on my intuition a lot lately and it has been spot on. I wish I had developed it earlier in life but its working fine now anyhoo.I ve never been fussy in love as I know i have many flaws too however there is a down side to being too open.
Does Mars in libra have a naive element you think?
Typi M in L – I hate when things are not equal and always look for the beauty in everything but there is a Miss Piggy element (MM’s moniker for lo Libra) that is so me.
The biggest problem I have with Mars in Libra is the tendency to be pass-ag. My standards are ridiculously high in love (Venus in Virgo). With Mars in Libra, I understand all the different drives in a social situation. I understand why someone doesn’t, say, unload the dishwasher. And, I like doing things for others. But I start feeling drained and boo-hoo “Why don’t they notice what I need here?!” Well, why don’t I say in no uncertain terms what I need here? Mars in Libra. It feels undiplomatic to demand and hold others accountable. And, slightly tacky. I’d like the world to be all feeling and nuance on those points (all my romantic relations have been with other Mars in Libras). But, I am learning, if I don’t say what’s bothering me clearly and in the moment the problem occurs, I am pass-ag about it later and the other person doesn’t get my build up on the point.
like 12th h i have venus in virgo and mars in
libra. mars hates being in libra as much as venus dislikes being in virgo because their super powers are diminished. i too feel awkward if i have to constantly tell someone my needs in a relationship. i did break up with someone over that. iam sag rising so i just blurt it out anyways.
mmmm interesting. same for me pass agging and with venus in kataka I can out sook anyone. throw a bucket of giant leo ego on that and its a recipe for disaster with a another pass agg person as has been the case. but no more. I will be fussy from now on.
ahhhh… where is the blog posting about new opportunities. Yesterday a contact told me about a job that he thought would be good for me. This job is at a company I would love to work at and in an area I would move to immediately. Got the job description last night and at first I thought it was a lower level position so I requested a salary range a little low. Well, I found out the job is perfect AND they are gonna try to get me double the salary than I am making now. I don’t want to get my hopes up… but it is weird how opportunities just show up when you want them. I don’t want to make a desperate choice since I am in a job situation that is trying to ruin my spirit. Oh well.. God wanted me here and boy did I learn a lot for my next opportunity.
MM has been writing a lot about Virgo career opportunities. I’ve had five interviews with four different companies since July. Its kind of exhausting, but I’m hoping that the right offer will come in soon. There is really only one of the four companies that I like. We were supposed to do a second interview today and they just rescheduled for next week. I’m going to try to just nap and chill out this weekend and not worry about it.
Thanks. I just went back to the Daily’s to see again what I thought I remember reading. I honestly thought it was my rising sign Libra but it is Virgo. A lot of opportunities with interviews that have been happening the last couple of months. I am hoping for the best too and like you will just rest this w/e!
Good luck to you. I can’t wait to hear about your good news… because it will happen.
Thanks 12th xx!!
all the best to both of you – I too have applied for a promotion (virgo sun, merc, venus, pluto)
Good luck to you Quin.. interesting how this all works. Keep us posted! xo!!
Bless Ellie – will do but don;t hold your breath, it will be months. You sound like you’re getting close to a really good opportunity!!
Quin, since I am still learning about my “chart”.. when you say “Virgo sun,merc, venus, pluto” does that mean you have mercury, venus and pluto in Virgo?
I just check for me and I have pluto, uranus and mercury. in my sun sign. LOL!!
hi anon – exacto! peeps posting on this blog often add relevant natal or transiting info, so others can mayeb cross-check with their own astro. If you have 2-3 planets in one sign, like me in Virgo, its known as a stellium
if only not being a LZ was as easy as all that! if only there was a place to go to like in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind where they could cure you or a pill to take or a way to cut out your heart without actually dying. it’s like the flu. you didn’t ask for it but somehow, bam, there you are with a full blown case and nothing to do but ride it out.
if someone out there has a surefire cure….
ugh…
I hear you. Don’t be hard on yourself for relapse. But, don’t go all goo-gooey “destiny” on yourself either. That’s just wack (and you know it.)
hugs bea. what we feel is what we feel. maybe allowing yourself to act in a way that you can be proud of / can look back on in a few years and know you did the best thing by you and the situation. that could range from declaring your feelings right across to stone cold silence, that part’s up to you. xo
dik wat is going on with me in the love department. i got out of this hideous 5 year abusive relationship. not to mention i gain 60lbs. i am desperate; im meeting people off line but oddly i’m being patient. i hope i have some good karma coming my way!
sounds like you’re growing PP – well done!
I hear you! I get really antsy at times but then i have to remind myself i ain’t finished cookin’! I’m like a gastronomic delight, right? You’ve got to get the timing right. Then comes the good good karma
*timing is everything*
idk*
Good medicine!
Venus is transiting conjunct my Ascendant, and Neptune is transiting conjunct my Moon so they’re visiting me ‘personally’ and giving me a good boost!
Also, the Mars/Saturn conjunction is exactly conjuncting my South Node…..good! Clear it OUT!
Yes, I feel liberated……..thank you wandering stars!!!!
Mars-Saturn is almost on my South Node and over the past few days I’ve noticed I’ve been able to let go of things more easily than usual. From decluttering my office to becoming aware of needy behaviors to revisiting some of the negative messages I tell myself about self-worth. It feels good.
Reading the LZ posts, it’s sad, people lost in an attraction that is never going to make it into the future, people not knowing what love is or experiencing it.
When I’ve moved away from someone it’s because I do not see them in my long-term future.
It’s a tough one, I’ll tell ya that. I’d be the first to admit I am one of the people you’ve described quite neatly in that comment. I don’t exist in that state permanently (thank god) but sometimes it swings around with a vengeance. I am a bit of an emo Pisces and polarised by an ice-queeny Cap moon, so… anyway. I shall conclude by donning my feathers and sequins, turning up Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and bellow “I’ve been to Paarradiisse.. but I’ve,..neverrr beeen to meee” lolololo xo
Well i am def a recovering LZ. I’ve just written ‘The End’ in my journal. Not going back to LZ land again. After 4 years of an on – off delusional relationship (which btw I’m sorry I put you all through the trials and tribulations of )I’m down to a very real stich of ‘ I don’t care’ attitude. I am completely drained in many ways and need to top myself up again by doing many real things that will make me happy. None of which involve the now Ex thankfully.
Feels like I’m in a more open space already and I am hankering for the great outdoors hence the purchase of my campervan/freedom machine. I have been quite sick lately as well which has helped made me realise I want to be with someone who cares when i’m up or down and I can care for them the same equally. He fell short on both counts – a big reality Zap zone check. And i told him so. he won’t like it but ‘i don’t care”. i will swish my beautiful Leo tail at him and off I go leaving only memories behind me.
sounds fab LG – well done!!
Good on you, LG. A Leo getting her groove back! I’m Leo rising and I often wonder about Leos and how we handle the LZ state. Very bad for our Leo Qi to be mooching after some loser who won’t pay attention. Obvs bad for anyone to hand over their power in this way, but I wonder if it’s more toxic for Leos in particular.
The campervan, the open road, the window down and the wind in your fab Leo hair…. sounds compelling!
I’m glad for your postings over time about your on-off love, Leogroover, and hope you won’t feel sorry for that. I’ve admired your candour and full ownership of who you are and how you feel and what you’re going for.
Frankly, i don’t think i’m quite as self honest, and your posts always vibe tremendously warm and fierce, rather than self righteous and cold. It’s inspirational!
Great to hear the end of those chapters, the start of being open to the next adventure xx
thank you Mill and peeps for your kind thoughts. I needed a boost on this dark moon shedding weekend . Its been a roller coasterride with the ex but I have disembarked now and am driving my own bus now and a cool VW at that!
big hugs LG… happy freedom travels to you. drive safe. And remember, Leos deserve the best! xxoox
Thanks, Pi and Q! I’m responding down here because the comments got to small. I had a vision about a year or two ago of myself living in a different place – a place with more sun and near the ocean. I actually tried the “Quantum Jumping” technique of interviewing this alternate me to see how she got there. And all she said was “its you” and when I pressed, she started speaking in another language. In the vision, my daughter was older, so I figured perhaps, frustrated, this was all years off. I could draw the floor plan of the house – it was that clear. But progress is being made toward that life now – I have a second interview on Monday with a company I want to work for located in a place that fits my vision. It may be awhile before the house part falls into place, but the push to move is so strong. It opened this summer with the Uranus-square-Pluto when my ex said he’d be OK with me relocating (we do shared parenting). I’ve been purging my house from the mind set of “do I want to ship this across country” ever since. I don’t know how/where/or when yet. So, while fate is for lazy people, I also must admit, I expect myself, as MM/The Oracle would say “to have to work harder, longer for it.” I thought I’d have to change careers or something drastic – and I don’t. I’ve been working this path all along. What a surprise and a blessing! Still, I would say, I could ignore my “fate” and make do with keeping myself in a quite stable, reasonable life. But, this summer with the square, all I knew was that is not an option for me any longer. Its funny, in the vision, the alternate me had shorter hair. And with Merc retro in Leo, I finally cut my hair. I knew I would when I was ready. Hair karma! LOL! And for this vision of me, in a life bigger and better than I expected for myself before, there wasn’t a soul mate in sight! So much for needing a partner to be happy (although, dear God, please let me have sex again!).
Anyway, its all lovely but out of my control. I, as you said, put it out there – resumes, follow-ups etc. But is so nerve racking. Interviewing is like dating with beer (I love beer – I hate dating). Today, I am going to focus on hydration, decluttering, and acceptance and gratitude for my life as it is right here and right now. Thanks for your support. It really does mean a lot to have your comments. Sometimes I feel I am living on the edge alone. Then, I check here and realize we all share the same struggles.
what a lovely post 12H – I’m gonna check out Quantum Jumping! Very best wishes for interview # 2 – either way, you are moving forward obviously. I love dreams about houses (I don’t think I’ve had “visions”) – they represent the whole you and I sometimes just have the most beautiful sense of wholeness after a great house dream (you know how the symbology is s’posed to play out? kitchen = soul, heart; bedroom = love; attic/upstairs = higher consciousness etc etc). Your ‘older looking’ daughter might signify that she is more mature than you quite realise and will cope with a move. Doesn’t mean a soulmate ain’t there but clearly your current agenda is very focused on these work and location issues. So exciting – we are never as stuck as we feel! Funny how parts of our higher consciousness/unconscious (whatever nomenclature one wants to use) KNOW where we are heading and what is right for us – its just wading through all the other noise that is hard.
oh another nice truism on this front – “Trust in Allah but tie up your camel anyway” – says it all for me…I don’t believe in god BTW but I do believe in higher order flows, patterns, whatevs
Q – my problem is not only do I work to tie my camel up, but then I start working to find and implement the most efficient tying methods so that people and camels and all beings may derive maximum enjoyment the art of camel tying. LOL! I’m still learning to live self-centeredly. One camel at a time…make my self comfortable first, focus on where my power is at…
Re my ex, we are in a good place. I allowed him to design his own post-married life freely, without guilt or drama or conditions. Now its my turn. I’m not sure how happy he’ll be when it starts to happen, relocating is an idea now and gives his Leo self some drama to mull over with friends. He lives for that. But, I let go of his life. So…I have to focus on mine…I’ve been through his temper tantrums and I decided years ago not to let them control my life. He can enjoy the drama with his friend. I will become bitter toward him (he kept the friends in the divorce – admitted he bought a place with a pool so they’d come visit) if I stay here maintaining the life we started once together. My hope is that the distance will help us continue co-parenting with a new level of equanimity and respect. And that my daughter will find stability in the longer stretches of time with each parent. Poor girl, he and I are really different and we have high-contrast lives.
BTW – I use the word God sometimes, but what I am referring to is what you’re saying about higher power/Source etc. I am not into a religion at all.
That sounds / feels good, 12V. I wish you so much luck and naturally Virgos (you are a Virgo right? not just 12th house ruled by virgo?) also have judicious planning and organising on their side
Quantum jumping , and self-interviewing! that sounds GREAT. I have not infrequently gone on a little mind journey to “feel out” the future, which has had some interesting (revealing) outcomes, but never tried finding myself IN the future. cool.
I am very glad that you seem to get along with your ex too well enough so that these plans can take shape.
As you talk about this it “feels” right even to me, a randomly distant blog reader, it could be your clarity which is simply coming through, but whatever takes shape, keep us posted! xo
Thanks, Pi! Its funny when I had the vision of the place I’d live, I told my friend about it. This was like last summer. And she said she could see/feel it too. Funny how it all works.
I learned how to meditate by doing PN. And the guy who teaches made a FB post about LOA and Quantum Jumping being like spiritual junk food. So I googled Quantum Jumping. Lol! I’m curious. Anyway, I haven’t read any of the books or anything. I just know what the description is. When I read it, I realized I have done it many times before I knew what it was. Just as part of meditating. I’ve talked to my past selves. Alternate future selves. The one at the beach is happy. The one who ran away with her soul mate to Europe is not. So, I’m working for the beach
I hear you can interview other experts and learn from them. Like quantum interview a financial expert or whatnot. But, I’ve never been a “fan” or someone. I think we are all here to be the truest expressions of ourselves. Deeper, more pure, expression of our being. Not mimics or controllers. All to say, I support quantum jumping in as much as it is used to gain a deeper knowledge and intimacy of yourself.
Yes. I have definitely gone back to little toddler Pi and adolescent Pi and had a chat sometimes. Healing across ‘time’. But come to think of it I haven’t done that for a while. I was reading somewhere once – this blog? – someone was recalling themselves in a difficult situation in the past, and sending them a message of courage, love, you know.. to help their self through. It was either that or when s/he was feeling a bit of a lift in an unhappy or difficult situation, that could have been future-self doing the same thing… I really like that idea. So yes. Also as I have trouble making some decisions in a hurry, one thing my mother must have taught me was to imagine how I would feel a bit later having made one decision or the other. So that got me imagining future states / down the line scenarios, but from a gut feel. There was no interviewing as such but..similarities. Anyway, that’s about all I can say !
WOO ! I do like a good Quantum Jump.
I’ve been more like Quantum Hopping, but I do seem to have bobbled sideways into something more “me”.
Still not there yet… But at the risk of being unfaithful to Mystic, AstroBarry has bloody nailed it for me this week…
THIS: Your poor brain-ball is probably pretty exhausted from trying its damnedest to crack a certain code (though I’ve repeatedly urged you not to bother for the moment), which is hopefully incentive enough to set aside these cerebral concerns—especially since the ‘breakthrough’ is likely going to occur only once you stop feverishly demanding it show itself (and may still be up to a month away, though you can taste it getting closer) (VIRGO)
So I KNOW where I want to be and how I want to live. I just have NO idea how I’m going to get there. You’re quite right, I shall Leap over to that Other Me and ask her how she got there. I’ve been trying to bootstrap myself into her life. It never occurred to me to ask her advice on how she got there
PS: What language ? If you can start learning it, I’m sure that would propel you along faster !
astrobarry’s essay on venus into cancer just 5 days ago might explain the resurgence of the LZ meme too – “Clever arguments fall short, alas, once we reach [venus in ] Cancer, where our unspoken gut-level intuition tells us exactly what’s personally ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for us. Feelings trump concepts in Cancer’s world… which, if we shut our brains off for a moment and just listen, makes it a lot harder to claim ambivalence or confusion. Emotional truth is not especially ambiguous. Unfortunately, just because we feel it to be so, that doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll be able to explain why.
Venus arriving in Cancer, then, promises to help elucidate how any still-open-ended relationship dabblings and/or business dealings spurred by all those months of Venus-in-Gemini ought to proceed—if we are emotionally wise enough to honor our visceral knowledge. Of course, our tirelessly-yearning minds may not like what our heart-centered instincts are telling us. That inner friction can be rough.” – totally makes sense for me – I wrote the ‘letter’ on weds a.m. and the backlash internally has been about me accepting what came out when I wrote the letter. Thoughts?
Hmmmm it sounds as though the emotions cannot handle what the intellect has to say. If the “letter” has disambiguated the situation for you, then you have to stand and face what is there – emotionally and intellectually. I’d sit with it for a while – there’s a shift coming at the end of August – 21st/22nd, so I’d compost it till then.
Wish I could take my own advice !!!!
Domestic, what kind of shift on the 21 & 22? Recovering with my decision to reconnect with my love interest after not seeing him afterr 9 months and I think it was a mistake. (Sigh).
thanks Triff – you are spot on re the disambiguation: and most of the realisations are about me and what I find acceptable, so that is extra good but also a tad painful.
She started speaking Spanish. I have an alternate self who ran off with her soul mate to Spain. I think the other me started speaking Spanish because I was trying so hard at the time to make my soul mate a part of my happy future. I got him to sit in the front yard of my dream vision house once. He watch me kick my brother out of the house and told him “you know she does that because she loves you, right?.” Yes, I have interactions in my Neptunian home. Lol. Weird. He isn’t really there but maybe the house is? I will say knowing him freed me to pursue the truth of who I am. Kind of complicated. Anyway, what she told me (alternate happy future me) is something like “Its you” and I knew what she meant was that I was all I needed to live the life of my dreams. I was pissed at the time. I wanted instructions. Felt sure I needed to make some major course correction to get there. But now I see, that’s not the case.
wow – I got a shiver with the simplicity and truth of “its you” – I have experienced that sort of clarity in dreams occasionally.
Okay, my Mystic counselers..I got the call from my love interest and I went with it. Oh well…. I will deal with the consequences of me thinking he missed me. At least I got say some things after he opened the discusion about something I said about us that bothered him. Who wants to slap me first. I won’t be offended.
I went into anti love zombie mode during this time. The lover and I had a weirding the night before, which passed quicker than it ever has.
I was fretting, as I do, then just was over it. I have much much much larger things going on. I just got to the point of whatever. so of course he was all over making sure we were okay and that I loved him.
Interesting how detachment works.
Type.Delete.Type.Delete. Trouble with self expression much? Maybe it’s not quite right for me to outlet my thoughts re my ex partner on here.. I hesitate partly as I’m newbie and felt I should be contributing more positive ones instead, if anything. So my apologies for taking up the ether air waves but need to exhale for a moment, please. (In an open and friendly tone) of course I’m happy to hear responses and find reassurance in advice (seek wise counsel and all that?) but as mentioned just wanting the place for the exhale of ramblings. Thank you again for a space where one can do so.
Also, I know I have a lot in my life to be thankful, get to watch wallabies lounging on the hillside while I drink my morning(or early afternoon) coffee to start with.
Having one of those feeling the weight of the world, forgetting to breathe,slowly going into a mild panic and why doesn’t he still love me? kind of days.Talk about your Love Zombie ’28 Days Later’ style.
It’s just I officially got divorce papers today and although I don’t like to admit it kind of freaking out only partly because my only avenue for legal advice is(has to be) in Canada so I have to stay up until all hours and my emails for the past few weeks, no response, not having opportunity to call due to time diff/prior work engagements (turns out it was a good thing for that reason that I lost my job when I did although worry what will make the trifecta).
x
I’ve had a really tough time trying to decide what is the morally right thing to do in regards to whether to claim support and balance of that, looking out for myself.
Have trouble getting through my thick skull/heart strings still holding on that he just doesn’t care about me anymore. He has a new life, new girl(since not long after I left for my what was meant to be a holiday) and he’s much happier so shouldn’t that make me happy and say thank you to the universe and let go? It’s hard to admit when I still love him and miss him along with elements of my former life. He hasn’t sent any of my belongings or helped me with sending my completed tax returns that just need to be signed. Or anything. He decieved me at the airport when he looked me in the eyes said he loved me/nothing to worry about when I said to him something didn’t feel right. Lesson: Listen to your instinct. So of course my mind replays that scene more than Seinfeld re runs on t.v.. I’d never seen ‘that look’ before because it was his final goodbye.
I was told I had a clean slate and perhaps I didn’t see it or perhaps I missed my opportunity to start afresh for taking so long to stop living in the past.
Thanks again for giving me a space to vent to e-ether. If it is deleted, most understanding of this.
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