From Strung-Out Love Zombie To Sexy Self-Actualizing Human

BEFORE

Dear Mystic,

You probably get at least 50 messages a day from men and women all over the world venting to you by asking for your advice to see if Partner A or Partner B will work for them. I’ve just come to you to say that I’ve recognized WHY I’ve been so plagued with the inherent desire to be with someone and why I tend to choose such horrible mates. [Prepare for some rapid venting] – Its basically because I usually delude myself into thinking that someone is worth my while because I project my fantasies onto them and pretend that they’ve manifested in whom I choose. My quadruple Kataka Sun, Moon, Vesta and Chiron tend to make things more than a bit messy for me when it comes to clinging onto things instead of letting go.

But as of recently….around mid June I believe, I’ve put all of the pieces together (that I’d been aware of but was ignoring until that point) and I’ve recognized what my issues are and I’m learning from them and re-harnessing their energy to transform them into strengths. That’s Pluto aspecting my Ascendant in Scorpio for ya. I’ve realized that I have all of this wonderful potential, but I’ve been utilizes my strengths incorrectly and blaring out a cannon with my weaknesses. I’m a Cancer Sun and Moon with Leo in my Mercury, Venus, Mars and Jupiter and all of this time, I’ve been trying to pretend that I’ve been a full out Leo because I’ve always been afraid of my scuttly crab like emotions. I’ve always thought that I’ve been immune to celestial transits but I’m starting to think that some crazy planetary shift activated some nodes in my awareness and now I’ve sought out to constantly make myself better.

So in the end, it IS possible for a Love Zombie to become Human. But the only way to achieve that is to undergo a blossoming transformation, engulfed by Rebirth.

Love, Luna

Dear Luna,

Pluto transits are fabulous for undoing any Love Zombie conditioning, expectations or mindset. It’s like uncluttering. Suddenly you turn to some stagnant seeming corner of your mind and spot a hideously inappropriate pattern there. It has to go…NOW. Someone else can pick it up. Not you. Cue light and air into an area of your life/mind/room that was previously sort of no-go or certainly not to be questioned at all.

Actually, you DO have an awful lot of Leo going on there. Pride alone should prevent you from becoming a Love Zombie. Transit-wise, i am betting that Uranus has been amping up your Leo (Love Zombies dull their complexions through binge eating/drinking whilst e-stalking and needy neurotransmitters instead of juicy serotonin from self-respect) and Pluto opposing your Crab stuff…so you run everything through an authenticity filter.

But hey, congratulations. There is life after Love Zombie status and it is so rewarding. I actually only get a couple of emails from Love Zombies a day and they are scary. Like the one where the L.Z blamed me because the married boss she was having it off with sacked her when Venus went Direct. Or the one who skim-read the previous Love Zombies post – Lady, You Don’t Need Astrology - did a massive mis-interp and emailed to ask me to mix her up a potion that could “command a man to love against his will” and then when i said no/suggested therapy, she responded with “pity, you’re not much of an astrologer than are you?”

Anyway, here’s to awesome Pluto transits, especially punctual when Pluto is in Cap and yes, they get the job done.  Oh and Luna – you have Scorpio Rising…Could you plausibly play a vampire in a glamorous mini-series? I ask to prove/disprove my theory that you can tell someone is Scorpio Rising if they’re vampy.    xxx

AFTER.

Image Credits: Cindy Sherman and Vogue

80 thoughts on “From Strung-Out Love Zombie To Sexy Self-Actualizing Human

  1. I saw the link on twitter, just jumped over – another post with insightful and hilarious comments to ensue for sure.

    I thought previous posts and comments had provided ample evidence that life exists post love zombie state…. depending on how deep you were into that state, post-love zombie life can feel like the first breath you took in this life or make you feel cleaning the gunk under your shoe that you picked up off street.

    Self-respect is like learning to ride a bike or driving – once you get it, you never forget.

      • Next year my progressed Sun is moving into Leo – will this make me honorary Leo? :-)

        • Yup :-) I’m just ending my honorary progressed Sun in Virgo and entering into Libby Fleur territory – AND am noticing the Libby vibes big time -need for balance/beauty/fragrances ;-) Purr to you Quadrupled xox

          • I better check tips of Mystic and start collecting tips from Leos here on “How to be a haute Leo” :-)

    • Very nice Medusa…maybe Love Zombies get such ideas of mixig love potion to ~~ make them love…as a Zombies themselfs, because of your pseudonim…Mystical Medusa, …You don`t need to have a great fantasy to think of Medusa from Greek Mythology…lol
      Greetings from asexsual shorpio…

  2. Luna, having Neptune/NN in the 7th + Merc, Venus & Sat in Cancer I do relate! SaggEx who I idealised to the point of becoming a Lobotomised- Love Zombie now has tangled hair, lives in a bamboo shack on the beach and is no doubt covered in bird poo. I thank Goddess for Saturn every day for breaking us up & teaching me about self-love.

    MM, golly, I can’t believe you have to put up with such guff. I’d be ashamed ask you to make anything that would make anyone do something against their will. Not much of an astrologer? She isn’t much of a decent human being.

    • Creatrix, great expression: “Lobotomised Love Zombie” !
      Your comment has such honesty. :)

  3. Please make me the minister for your complaints department. I would have a field day :D

    • MM Too much insanity! I would end up laughing just to cope with the insanity. I get my fair share too (for being a performer), and it’s mind-boggling bizarre! Sometimes, it can be rather frightening.
      Keep up the good spirits and humor.

    • Ms. darling, you do the complaints, I’ll take charge of the Department of Flogging. As we all well know, peeps learn via different er.. modalities and sometimes we just need the flog the zombie out so only the love remains ya? :)

      It could be two-step deprogramming haha.. of course, I only flog RESPONSIBLY.

      • I was going to say “Naughty Angel and what will the uniform requirement be of said flogger?” ;)

        Instead I shall say: Great idea :)

  4. Hehehe, this sounds vaguely familiar, in reverse, sort of … I was/am projecting stuff onto someone and then boom I said … look at you, this guy is so fantastic, and you are not, so if you want him, you’d better become uber-extreme-fantastic as well.

    It works a treat, I am always and forever striving to become the Self I wanted to be and just overall awesome. Life is so much better with him, I can never undo my Love-Zombieness.

    And, since Mr. Fantastic obviously is far too cool to stalk anyone, or bombard with messages or somesuch, I cannot do it either.
    Obviously, it also works better the less I do actually know.

    Ehr yes, I am slightly crazy … or just inventive.

  5. p.s I love transformation stories YAY

    Dear love zombie gone human

    USE that scorpio asc to transform. Mystic is right, all that leo should be pride personified. I think some of us with the largest ego’s have the hardest time owning that power until we realise we are not the victim of anything but ourselves. I have a stupid amount of pride re love and vigilantly stalk my boundaries for cracks and command an eternity of respect from my lovers or they can fuq right off. They are words I live by. When you can transform you become an agent for others. It’s amazing. victim angst is bad for the complexion. Go haute and feed off the insights xox

  6. i recently read this book called ‘facing your love addiction’ by pia mellody and had many ah-ha moments. she has a concept about love addicts (who have abandonment issues) and love avoidants (who have intimacy issues) and how they often are drawn together for a sloppy, codependant, dysfunctional, high-low tango, lol.

    • omg too funny coz its so true of my just freshly left LZ stitch. eon thx for summing it up so well. a messy lop sided tango with a drunken sloppy band in the background playing bad bad latino in a hazy dungy hall that badly needed the windows opened and the girl did open them and behold she saw the light and got the fuq out of there real fast.

  7. once upon a time, when i was a Love Zombie (but a High Functioning one, i would like to say) i had a dream about me and this man i was trying to “get.” And in the dream i had access to this beautiful beach, with pure waves, a soft breeze, gorgeous sand, flowers – the classic fantasy beach of awesome. And i was trying to get this guy to come hang out with me there. So in the dream i traipse over to HIS beach. Scary waves with sharp rocks, freezing bitter wind, LITTER everywhere. And he is sitting there rocking back and forward BUT HE WON’T LEAVE this hideous beach. I can, however, hang out with him if i can handle all the litter, the cold etc. So in the dream i go back to my beautiful awesome beach. And then i wake up WOWING OUT.
    So sometimes it can take but a heaven/guide/source/angel-sent dream to break the spell of Love Zombie hood.

    • I had a dream last night re guy I’m hot for (first dream re him and I’m seeing him today in a biz setting) – we were on a tour with other peeps. He rocks up with his wife – blonde, petite and gorgeous – I am lovely but not blonde, petite and gorgeous. I feel this very intensely and then go into major pout and sulk mode. I realise in the dream this is not cool.

      Woke up feeling – woah girl – you don’t know if he’s married but you do know there are kids, and you know you would behave like this. Maybe get a few more deets first and just look around at all the fish in the sea before assuming this is the only one you want to catch.

    • Wow, exquisite. When you put it like that you really can see how paradise is one of your own making… and the same goes for hell!

    • WOW! I love how our dreams tell us things sometimes that we just don’t want to see during waking hours.

    • I do indeedee like the pictures, they represent quite like I feel at the moment!
      The relationship I’ve put a firm gap between is that with my 95 year old, total bitch of a grandmother whom I’ve somehow felt responsible for for the last 18 years.
      I quite simply looked in the mirror the a few weeks ago, saw exhibit A, rang a councilor from the carers support group who posed the eureka question ‘Self preservation has to kick in at some stage honey, does it not?’
      So, perhaps in a few months when her frosty disappointment and my guilt wanes, the temperature warms enough for a bikini and a dip in the ocean I WILL feel like exhibit 2.

    • Great before and after pictures. That EYE in the first picture is just priceless! But is that really Cindy Sherman in the second picture?…

    • The Before pic gives me the heebs! The same way the psychotic guy in the bathroom at the opening of the 6th Sense gives me the heebs. Yikes.

      • look at the hands in the before pic – not happy.

        LOVE the after pic – worth pinning on the fridge for surviving the ZZ non?

  8. Plus whilst i am here – i am doing the coolest Saturn in Scorpio horoscopes rant, for subscribers, it will just go up somewhere in the members area AND a Saturn in Scorpio question on the Oracle AND i am revamping the Monthly Scheduler so it will look like an actual calendar and go months into the future.

  9. This is great! I was wondering the other day, ‘does Mystic ever get emails from people recounting inspirational Love Zombie recovery stories amongst all the cringeworthy angst?’ :)

    As a multi-conjunct Piscean, I love transformation stories, so go Luna!

  10. Mystic,was just working my way down here to say how I loved the before and after pics !! Nothing like a visual to capture a feeling!!

    So looking forward to the Scorpio Scopes…

  11. Ok this might sound like a really dumb question, it’s a Pluto transit question (am not quite up to speed on aspects and transits)… Pluto is currently about a third of the way into my 10th house. I have no planets in my 10th, 11th or 12th. Can anyone tell me if this means that I’m not really affected by Pluto transiting these houses…or do I need to look at aspects it may form with any natal planets in other houses, in which case does it affect both houses? Any help much appreciated…

    • hey fifi. pluto will still exert itself in your 10th. you may have noticed something pretty major when it crossed your MC a few years ago?

      and yes, have a look at the major aspects it is forming w other planets and chart angles e.g. asc/dsc.

      • Thanks for your help Anon, yes there was a major event a couple of years ago, pretty traumatic actually!
        The issue preceding the event starting about 8 months before that…will look into other aspects and learn some more !

  12. Awesome post. I broke out of a 5.5 yr dead-end relationship the first day of Uran. sq. Pluto exact. It feels great, I’m just trying not to fall into those same old bullsh!t fantasy patterns myself. Neptune rising, trine Sun, inconjunct Venus in Cancer in the 7th. I’m trying to focus on just doing/loving me for a while :)

  13. Unrelated:

    Far out pic on the Weekly Scopes! Love it x10.

    My son (Cap Sun, Kataka asc, Gem Moon) apparently wants to take a trip very badly. He thought the yogurt I bought him at the grocery offered a link on the package to enter a contest to win a vacation to Disneyland; he cried last night when I could find no such link/contest on the yogurt package. I was surprised that he was so into the Disneyland thing cuz we’re not really purveyors of such: “Really?? You want to go to Disneyland?” And he cried, “I just want to go *somewhere*!!” Oh, the poor little thing! :(

    lol Are we a Zap Zone between the two of us? His natal Pluto is at 25d Sagg/6th house, and his Sun-Merc-Venus in Cap is 6th house, too. He just started losing his baby teeth, and learned how to read this past year. It’s been a big time of growth for him, and it won’t be slowing down anytime soon!

    Guess I have a trip to plan: my lil bugaboo needs a respite :)

    • Aawww Suggestion if I may?!!? Schedule some 6th house Saggability with Plutonic themes into his regular schedule or get him a horse/pony?!

      • omg– there’s nothing that would better for us than some horses!! Sadly, though, I don’t have the ways and means for even one pony at this juncture :(

        Great Suggestion, fluidfeline!

        • horses are a marvellous way to be independent and roam around, but they eat money. Unless you have a lot of cash behind you…

          I feel for your little boy ‘just wanting to go somewhere!’ it’s a change of environment, looking at new landscapes, sights, sounds, people, where the air smells different. Maybe they two of you could pull the world atlas off the shelves, or get the globe and spin it and point a finger to stop it at random, then research the country that you land on? you could look up all the things that travel might involve – how you book a flight, different kinds of accommodation (camping / campervan, youth hostels, couch-surfing, motels, nice hotels, friends, etc), the history and culture of the place, what languages they speak, and maybe learn a few words of it like ‘hello!’ ‘my name is…’ ‘please’ ‘thank you’ through an online search! The two of you could look up places you might want to visit in that country, or work out why you wouldn’t want to visit there at all. If it’s that good, maybe even make plans and start saving for a trip there with him in a couple of years? Even if it’s just somewhere in the US (i’ve assumed you’re from there?), there is such a diversity of things to see … I want to Arizona when the cacti are in bloom, and apparently there are amazing caves there… Yellowstone National Park of COURSE… diners in new york, the Rockies, those beautiful lakes in the north east…the amazing coastline of California… (then on to Baja!) …omg and I want to go to Salt Lake to watch the Land speed record competition… Chicago just because…

          haha now *I* want to go somewhere!

          have fun
          xxxx

          • Such an awesome idea, Pi, researching a destination together! Yes, we’re in the US, and there are plenty of places to explore here that either of us have yet to see. So true.

            I hope you get to go *somewhere* soon, too! xoxo

  14. I love the “somewhere”. As yes, Disneyland makes me shudder – when I first moved here the family friend I stayed with had kids AND all season passes, my Goddess, if I could ever think of a place that would drive me to a psychotic break, Disney would be it. Even riding through the Small World display makes me think they should’ve given me a gun as it struck me as a shooting range for some reason..

    Soz for the violent reaction but you know..I think it’s lovely your son can articulate the need to explore/travel – be somewhere else. I hope you get to go soon.. maybe Legoland, I’ve heard good things and judging by this little stunt they pulled, a good sense of humor..

    http://www.geekosystem.com/legoland-swap-car-lego/

    • ahahaha– a shooting range! I’ve never been there (and don’t ever plan to go), but from what I’ve heard the Small World thing does sound like a shooting range! Nice, FA.

      All the Disney “classics” are so sexist/racist/etc., and I’m sick of their tendency to kill/cut out mothers from their little stories. *puke*

      One animated film that Disney had a hand in that I absolutely adore: Ponyo. I Love Ponyo! One film hardly redeems decades of stereotypical oppressive messages, though, of course.

      FA, you ever see the little animated short on SNL re Disney? Now, That is a classic! haha I need to find that…

      Thanks for the link! Yes, Legoland is definitely a destination contender ;)

  15. Love the AFTER pic. Prefer boy shorts to bikini, and the HAT, love the hat.

    Such a literally refreshing tude in water versus Ugh.

  16. I love Cindy Sherman, lol!

    No coincidence I suppose, but I think I have had the century’s biggest shift in awareness this week. I have always had a vague idea that my mother, who went through various stages of religious zealotry and fundamentalism when I was a kid, was pretty influential on my subsequent relationships. (Like attempting to exorcise the evil from me, having her friends ambush me and pray for me, bombarding me with religious paraphernalia, hostile bible verses displayed with the purpose to confuse and scare etc…didn’t make me want to befriend the other Sunday Schoolies, and probably thrust me in the direction of astrology.)

    It used to be a bit of joke for me and my friends. BUT, this week I had a total catharsis over it, because I realised that my complaints about my husband being distant, his inability to make a decent emotional connection with me, and me craving deep intimacy, doing a bit of distant love zombie over other unavailable men….is actually all about my dodgy formative relationship with my mum. Craving the love, but the love feels really unsafe/unstable/unhealthy, and so I’ve done my best to keep myself at a distance in my marriage, but getting hits of it from the safety of flirting with unavailable men.

    I felt like I had evolved pretty well over the years under the circumstances, but right now I am feeling like a 12 years old again….totally scared of being loved/what it means to be loved/the conditions of love… lol (not really, but it feels so absurd that I’ve taken so long to get this, I can’t help but to laugh out loud!).

      • It’s good to get there even if you feel like you’ve been transported back, you haven’t, it’s actually the opposite. Big leaps!

    • powerful stuff.

      I had a realisation with my mother the other day (whilst politely telling her off…) though its not love orientated its about money and security. After outing a certain something in the previous post mainly due to shock someone had mentioned it, I am sure it’s not entire bizzare that I should have a few hangovers surrounding the issue of security and home given that most people do not end up on the street or in hostels. Saturn is still 2 conjunct from Pluto in my 4th house Libra whilst my Mc/Ic is getting zapped proper. Ironically though I feel amazing about myself on one level I’ve been yo yoing with but manifestation seems to be a bit blocked. I’ve been love blessed since 2006 so at least I have that down. Can’t make a home to save the life of me though. Travel fantasy reaching epic proportions yet again. So much of the world I have not seen yet.

  17. Have been off with flu, and was watching kids TV, as you do, sniffling. Saw an amazing Ben 10 cartoon with female Love Zombies giving all their energy to a guy called MorningStar – they fell in lurve with his looks, and he sucked all the colour right out of ‘em to fund himself – then they all descended on him en masse and sucked it back – he was left an old, broken zombie ex-lurve cartoon hero. Had to laugh x Art imitates life etc

  18. Going through a major transition with relationships. I am so detaching and was feeling really good when I found out my guy was out of town (Hometown).. I honestly thought he was moving back to that area. I felt comfortable and more secure with that. WELL, he’s back. Ugh, I have a pit in my stomach. I am realizing so much about him but for me relying on being comfortable with being a victim all the time, it is hard for me to go back to the detached mode. I go into the love zombie show and today I started crying. ugh… why can’t I let this go. I am trying SO hard to stay focused with the opportunities that have shown up that will bring me to a better place but I am looking for those signs from him to make me feel bad about myself when it may have nothing to do with me. I need another glass of wine!! LOL!! :) But every time I post something it makes me realize new things. I know Mystic wanted us to journal.. but I can’t STAND it.. so I use this blog!! Thanks for reading if you did! :)

    • Virgo Ellie, i know you know this, but transformation is not immediate for most of us; it kind of spirals upwards, which feels a bit like going in circles.

      You have the greatest gift: realisation. You can’t run from this, not really and not permanently, once you have it. This realisation grows and becomes more detailed and more eureka. Trust yourself to grow through this. It’s like you’ve already promised yourself you will, but be as gentle with yourself as you would a child learning something. Be kind when you fall over, dust yourself off, give her a hug and let her keep going.

      • Why do we get involved in relationships that take us to bad places in ourselves? Or the crappy beach that Mystic so beautifully described?

        • Watervirgo, I take it as though I am trying to recover from something in my past. I have had some troublesome relationships with men when I was younger (family) so when I go to these “bad” places, especially with my current guy, I dig deep to try and find out what I am feeling and why. It relates to my upbrining. So, I might be recovering from 2 things. My current relationship and my past relationships.. maybe!

      • milleunanotte, I came back to this post to review. Thank you for your response. I have a hard time with things growing slowly. So, what you said came clear to me. It is a transition, work through it as slowly as it may be dust myself off when I fall and wait until I am experienced to deal with relationship issues that might come up in the future because it will be a lot easier and maybe more stable and loving. I am a good person and deserve a good response from some who appreciates my genuine pure heart! <3

        Thank you! <3

    • It’s alright to cry. It takes time. You can do a simple candle ritual – by the way, Paul McKenna (Brit hypnotherapist) has written an excellent book with CD about how to get over love affairs with visualisation tracks etc. Or you can get it all out physically – smack a pillow/cushion with a tennis racket :) or light a candle and see it as your relationship, as the candle burns, so your relationship goes.. Good luck x

      • Thanks to you both, sweets!! I just can’t figure it out now. I will take what you say and slowly incorporate into my “boundaries”… I can’t believe I have gotten to the place of “I can’t waste my pure love on someone like I have without them showing me a little bit of theirs”… I am learning a lot! Thank you again and I will look for those CDs. I do A LOT of visualization but maybe not strong enough!! :)

        • :) You can always channel Miss Piggy “Hyyyah!!” And then stomp off with your head in the air, for some ‘hot shoe’ retail therapy. Put on some bling and strut your stuff Sis!

  19. I’m a Love Zombie get me out of here. NO really.

    My Plutonic 7th house just manifested in all its blazing glory, for the first time in ooooh at least a decade. There I was thinking Saturn had finally sent me on the path to being an enlightened self actualising eagle but in fact I’m just a totally bats low Scorp scuttling around on the ground in a jealous rage. Bah.

  20. i think its safe to say i recovered from being a love zombie…christ, it was BAD! saw a friend recently who was tisk-tisking me through the whole thing (she was once a zombie, too, now with a great guy). it was the first time she met my new, very nice, boyfriend and she was like, “it’s better on the other side, right?” YES IT IS GOOD LORD!!!

  21. My Husband is Scorp rising and very Vampy. He even has that Dracula hair line thing going on.
    Wow! Amazing observation. Scorp rising = Vampiresque.
    Suits my Venus in Pisces Square Nuptune loving problem preference for fantasy lovers :)