The “Say Nothing Negative” Challenge.

Filed in Aquarius, Sagacious

Yinka Shonibare

1. Try to say nothing negative about anybody.

a) for three days

?b) for forty-five days

?c) for three months

See what happens to your life.
yoko ono

I’m not so sure about this.  Shall we try it for just the three days first?  It would probably be really good for endorphins or neurotransmitters BUT it certainly clashes with radical candor demands. She’s SO Aqua though that it could be a really amazing secret of Awesome.

Although – she doesn’t say it’s good as such. She just says “see what happens.”

Thoughts?

I

 

123 thoughts on “The “Say Nothing Negative” Challenge.

  1. Im not a great celebrity worshipper but I have a few I like & I SO get Yoko! Follow her on Twitter, when she tweets I read everyone of them. I just love her smiles project at the moment. I agree what’s the point of hate!?

    • hahaha Savannah. I just love your positive energy contrasted with your avatar! Makes me smile and that’s not a simple matter today. Thanks!

      • LOL thanks :) this poor Power Puff doll (I had to ask my then 9yo who she was) was laying there in the 40c heat up at the tip washed out of the rubbish after a savage downpour. I felt so sorry for it. Oh I have moments of pissed offness just like the dolly ;).

        I’ve been the same Bluesky as time went on gotten into her view of the world. Yoko looks amazing for her age & her art is beautiful.

    • The older I get, the more I like her. So I agree, I seem to GET her now, or increasingly. And I don’t follow celebrities, but anything mentioning her I tend to pay attention.

  2. I will consider this.. after all, some people if you don’t even talk about them, the “negative” talk gives them a kick.. energy… perhaps it could defuse the “power” people get from all that bad talk.

    It could actually change a dynamic.. I need to work on this.

    AET

  3. My thoughts are that she should go visit the PM and say “try not to F***K up for three days?” Let alone 3 minutes.

  4. I would try for three days… but I’m also kind of scared. Would I turn into a softie, who let’s everything happen to herself? Or would it enhance my rhetoric abilities, so I’d be challenged to find a positive formulation even for things I’d want to criticise? Not sure.

    What I would also find a real challenge in this is: Not to say anything negative about myself. I find that very hard. I often perceive myself – unwillingly – as someone with many deficits and with millions of things not yet achieved. But I doubt Yoko Ono has this problem… ;-)

    (I guess irony and things like that would be considered undermining the purpose of this attempt…)

    • That’s a great “try it out” challenge – 3 days without negative about yourself. Go on, I dare us all to try it!

  5. Hard to do when it’s f-wit management astro!
    It makes me think you’ve gotta learn when to shut up and when to speak up. Saying something negative can be subjective. Sometimes, often, the status quo needs a shake up. There’s so many ways to look at this. I think it’s about your thinking and attitude; get your mercury on. Thinking with flexibility is important, as is being real, and having hopes and dreams. Keeping a grounded perspective and being light, evolving into beautiful contagious energy, self-actualised humanity, also means getting your Mars on. Life is short, says Saturn.

  6. I really like this concept. It should be the exception that we need rad negative candour about individuals. About behaviours in general….. well, that would be more difficult.

    I think it’s very Aqua that she doesn’t promise a good outcome. It’s about the experimentation and self-knowledge that might come of this…. the idea that learning more about yourself, whatever that might be, raises your awesomeness in a mysterious kind of a way. Shut up and be powerful.

  7. It sounds great for the soul.

    But i agree: i have given fw’s the not-stooping-to-low-talk-or-behaviour treatment, and they just thrive. True FW Zombies need clear BOUNDARIES, including reference to their own negative behaviours.

    But certainly, besides boundary setting, it will be interesting to do.

    What about thoughts? Can we think as negatively as we like? Or do Yoko’s Thought Form Negativity Guides step in with reminders?

      • :lol:

        I thought an Aquarian challenge (not question) deserved a JupNeptarian response (not answer).

        Try pinning us down! *scatters in different directions*

        Still, i’m more up for this than the no ‘poo.

        • Let’s all be positive about the no-poo :D :D

          I think its possible to set boundaries in a positive way. The other thing you can do with FWs is to consciously ramp up your Solar Plexus chakra – a glowing golden shield radiating stern love is good. They find themselves suddenly losing interest in engaging with you, because you’ve cut off their energy supply….

          • Thank you, DomTriff. That’s funny because i’m doing some visualisations of chakras with flowers of different number petals and discovered i need to build a stronger sense of that one. Hm, you’re good!

            • I have a fluffy, pink, invisible sign over my head which says “People with mental health problems, small children, old ladies, weirdos, the lonely and lost dogs”…

              Between that and working in second hand bookshops and libraries I’ve really had to learn to work my aura shields :D

              Its not that I object to any of the above, but especially the lonely, when they find a sympathetic ear, tend not to take hints… I still get people following me around supermarkets chatting to me… :D

              Not to mention the young bloke at the petrol station who spotted me immediately as someone he could talk to about his fascination for ancient Mesopotamian Gods :P Which bit of “I’m pump number three” means “Please tell me about your interest in Baal” ?!

              Or my favourite client at Dianella Library who was researching a highly arcane conspiracy theory involving Moses, Akhenaten, the Rosicrucians and the Merovingian Dynasty. He tore holes in our inter-library borrowing scheme. I hope he’s still out there, madly burrowing through the Internet, looking for clues….

              Anyway, aura shields – good – but don’t for get to take them off !! I used to use a very heavy duty indigo blue one like tessellated hexagons and found myself becoming drained and meh about things – couldn’t work out what it was until I realised I had my shield up for *weeks* and my poor energy couldn’t circulate properly.

              These days I use a thick, pink, sticky, sweet cloud of lurve as an aura shield. It lets everything in, but slows it down long enough for me to decide if I actually want to accept it or not. Works like a charm. To coin a phrase :D

              • Ah, North Perth fringe dwellers! I do know them well. Mental hello and smile to them all…it’s been awhile, and the fringe dwellers here are differently flavoured.

                Much appreciate the advice…it sounds as though one finds one own special version/visual to assist one. I’m used to being untamed so this is a new and necessary discipline, though an ancient concept in our tradition, which i’m supposed to have learnt. Bit like piano scales…whiff of disciplined repetitive structure and i used to be off like a shot!
                Cheers, DomTriff :) Thanks for your wisdom.

  8. i will tell you what happens – you become very difficult to get to know. Mostly someone’s criticisms are the most revealing things they say. Are they slagging off at someone for being dumb? This is someone who is proud and insecure about their own intelligence.

    Beyond that, getting to know someone’s dislikes is as important as getting to know their likes in terms of understanding them and getting along with them. This one hates hot weather and sushi, so don’t ask them to a Japanese lunch outdoors in summer.

    It’s not a bad idea but it presupposes there’s an absolute negative and an absolute positive which is, of course, nonsense.

    • *like* your comment. Especially “I will tell you what happens… you become very difficult to know”
      You’ve just nailed peeps with strong Aqua placements!!
      They’ll sit there silently like an alien while I’m waving hand in front of their face “hellooooo, anyone in there?… what do you think?… Yes? No?…. anything….. hello!!!! :)

    • Yoko says:
      1. Try to say nothing negative about anybody.

      Nothing negative about people, not things. So, saying I dislike sushi, doesn’t really hurt anyone’s feelings, now does it?
      That’s what I pulled from it. However, not saying anything negative at all would be even harder challenge. I suppose saying I hate sushi, one could say I’d prefer to go eat Thai instead, because I love Thai food, the limes and cilantro are divine.
      Great challenge!!

      • That is my understanding of Yoko’s idea too, scorpiorising.
        As time passes, the more unhelpful I think it is to say negative things about people. Sometimes, sure, we need to set boundaries. But I think what Yoko is referring to is the careless negativity we have out of ignorance. We can never really know the full picture about others and can be quick to blame when they have inadvertently trodden in our own insecurities.

        • yes, I agree. Negativity is an addictive downward spiral. I hate it when i get caught up in it. I’ll enjoy the negativity cycle break.
          Yoko is a strong, positive woman who endures such hateful remarks. More power to her. respect.

          • I agree too, scopiorising. Lately I sometimes find myself in a pub for instance, where a less liked absentee is getting a grilling and I think “I don’t want the karma of adding to that negativity.”
            It is the old ripple in the pond of the universe thing and I am definitely up for Yoko’s challenge. I believe that it is possible to practise radical candour without being negative – just by keeping it real.

  9. I am gonna try it for 3 days. What is the theory, everything time you say something negative that thought / comment creates more negativity? If you talk positive the negativity dissappears. (The Secret?)…

        • great that things are starting to look up! yay! I am good, thanks – flat chat especially since the new moon but I have lots of ‘processing’ astrology this year such as saturn transiting my 8th, progressed moon in the 12th and solar return sun in the 12th – so its really pretty dull on the romance front and I am needing to seclude myself a bit!

  10. Not saying anything negative is a lot easier than not thinking anything negative.

    I used to practise watching my thoughts when I was playing ping pong, Negative thoughts–even the mildest had a huge impact on my ability to hit the ball successfully. It was very telling.

    As Gurdjieffen Maurice Nicoll stated:

    “You have the right not to be negative”. He also said there was no ‘center’ in our being for negative thoughts–so they just keep milling around in our heads/hearts until we decide to give them up as unworthy or something . . .

    • Absolutley, our thoughts affecting our physiology.
      So much easier to change your mind than change jobs
      or houses or boyfriends….wardrobe even.

    • Absolutely – it all begins with the thoughts. And stepping beyond that, don’t leave a void, find something positive to replace the negative. It isn’t easy, and some people would say it isn’t genuine. But I think it can be… “Change your thinking, change your life.”

      I think when you speak negatively, you really are releasing that to the world, which is even more potent. Vice versa, positive talk is as potent.

      • As is a kick in the shins or a stomp on the foot. I must say I do try to avoid people who chronically whinge. Similarly, constantly shiny, happy people really get up my nose too mainly because it’s so patently unreal. Who are they kidding? Just themselves.

        This is good:

        Smile or DIE.

        • yes, too much emphasis on ‘being positive’ which can be a smoke screen for ACCEPTING bad things happening and NOT seeing them/acting on them. I too try and avoid negative peeps as I am very reactive (pisces rising, pisces moon) but corporate level positivism and people NOT coping with feeling bad is a white wash.

        • Hey, i LOVED this. Thanks for the link, er.. Link. I’m forwarding it to a buddy.

        • Set a time frame on whinging, like 2 minutes, then move on. That’s my solution to friends,
          you can have 2 minutes, me too, then stop.
          Turning negatives into positives improves mind muscles.
          As a Sagg i’m obliged to be optimistic as not keen on the opposite plus it’s de rigger for my religion :-)

  11. I am practicing something else – whenever I think of a negative thought about someone – including myself – I bring back the key mantra stored at a remote corner in higher mind: thinking negative thoughts shrinks my world. Am at third day, well..as as assessment, three days a bit short to see any difference.

  12. For me – pisces rising, pisces moon + 4 planets in virgo – this is a really good mantra and does not include positive albeit honest feedback etc. But let’s face it – most of our opportunities to say something negative are only flags to our egos to ignite oour ‘holier than thou’ positions – I guess attempting to do the 3 days whatever, is a good chance to pause and be conscious of what we are saying – I’m gunna try it!

      • yay – wrangling that lovely but potentially machievellian pisces moon can be tricky for me – just realised that during a 3 hour meeting today with lovely colleagues/friends, I dissed a couple of people – ooops!!

  13. Oooh, Now this one I’ll give a go.
    What punishment if we say something negative?
    A ‘time out. sitting in the naughty corner ? – gold coins into the ‘swear’ jar?
    This should be fun ’cause you just know the Universe is going to wanna mess with us, and throw everything at us to test our resolve…
    Bring it B…erh, …Beautiful People! ;-)

  14. “Yeah and don’t go away angry just go away!”.
    Motley Crue who got it from a movie or was that Blondie.

      • Haha, very synchronistic Peg.
        Mum remarked y’day how that was my Grandmother’s Fave saying.

        Not so surprising I guess, as she was often a bit dark. She also used to collect witches, y’know like little figurines etc & she named her house ‘Walporgas’ which means ‘House of the Witches’ in German.
        She used to curse anyone who came anywhere near her house, street, yard etc.
        She was such a Quirkster, God/Goddess Bless her.

  15. easy enough…? entails reframing comments that are potentially barbed, unhelpful. going for walk to take some cleansing deep breaths, check in with bad temper before flying off handle / turning into a jerk. sleeping on a letter / email of complaint, or defusing high emotion in the text. I don’t think self-confident assertiveness or constructive problem (person) management are excluded at all from this premise…

  16. i think its good to keep the synapses on their toes… so to speak…. speaking negatively about other people can become a habit, a way of not facing what is really going on internally, besides mostly what peeps say is really about themselves not about the other!!!! so be careful what you say cause you might find yourself hungry and eating your words ( ani said that)…. anyway… i think it would be good either way, the shallow sychophant with nothing negative to say could try their hand at critiquing, and the negative opinion could try not to say anything negative and see what happens…

    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. – Aristotle

    • PG, yes
      Because it is our shadow selves we face when we bitch about others, not ALWAYS, but a lot. It what annoys us that tells us much about ourselves.

      • yes peggy, it may not be always, but the way we talk is a reflection of our values, our heartspace etc….

        BTW I love the fantastic MR Fox up there!!!!! great pic mm

  17. Synchronicity. I was just this morning bemoaning how much I bitch about other people. It doesn’t help that I’m surrounded by hardcore fuqwits, but as much as what I’m venting about is accurate (LOL), how does the negative spewings make ME look? Can’t let other people’s daftness make me look daft, now can I? Definitely signing up. Twill be a test!

    • Yes it is…’another world is on her way’ is the quote of the day from Creative Cronies.
      The shortest day of year, Sun into Kataka ’round 1pm-ish East Coast Oz.

        • YAYYYY so grateful to reach the shortest day of the year already….. i do miss the daylight hours for being out in nature… walking and swimming…. playing in the garden…. these days i get home and the sun has already gone down… the cold coming in the doors so they get closed and i rug up for a night in…. ah the coming of the light!!!

  18. Usually avoid saying anything negative about a person,like the old if you can’t say something nice, then refrain, BUT for the ZZ i’m writing up my Hit List whilst smudging with sage, whilst mantra-ing ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ or the garden spade in my case.

  19. The Fantastic Mr. Fox! Loved that cussing movie.

    Yeah, it’s the law of attraction: say/think/be positive, attract positive. Say/think/be foul, get foul.

    What’s the pleasure of the house?

  20. I was thinking about the whole ‘try not to say anything negative about anyone’ thing… And well, I really do refrain from bitching about people generally, as best I can & think i do a pretty good job with it…

    Then I remembered ALL the idiotic things Julia Gillard has said in the last 24hrs:
    a- Re: Julian Assange
    b- At the G20 in Mexico (arrogant & condescending or what!?)
    c- Re: Teacher’s Clayton’s pay rise ( the pay rise you’re having when you’re not having a pay rise).

    Admittedly I do now recall labelling Julia Gillard a TOTAL & COMPLETE TWAT, repeatedly today & yesterday & on many otherwise occasions too, actually.

    Damn you Julia, if you were an ethical person with even an once of integrity, a sprinkle of dress sense & half a brain… My record of not saying anything negative about anyone would be alot closer to clean.
    : (

      • I think we can critique w out being negative, for instance, julias comments at g20appeared to be bragging about Aust fiscal growth, advising other countries to follow Aust policies, w out much knowledge sharing info about the broader economic reality, I feel like Julia may have been diverting attention from reality! ……. How’s that,

        Further, listening to radio national informed me about swedens sex crime laws and the evolution of them, it seems assange has been charged for unprotected sex, which in Sweden is a crime, Julia failed to mention this in her comments, maybe assange could charge the women for having unprotected sex w him!

        • Juila is embarrassing. Australia has 20 + million peeps & huge empty spaces, nothing like Europe so no comparison can be made.
          Also it’s her party that has put the nation into debt from a huge surplus, spent it all and now we are being taxed to high heaven to attempt to make it up. Such arrogance.
          Didn’t know that was Assange’s ‘crime’ it was reported as forced sex. Equador may
          offer him asylum. I hope as USofA may delete him.

  21. Grew up in a verbally critical household with lots of creative swearing – def no swear jar! As I grew up I began to see that nothing prospered from negativity, the humour is short lived.

    Read the other day if our world ends, the sounds we have emitted will still be travelling across the Universe for another 35 billion years or more…

    Was told once that even negative thoughts about people form an etheric attack of sorts. Negativity takes away your power to influence the situation and can manifest that reality.

    And there is nothing insipid about fighting your tendency to be unkind. There are many ways to show how you feel without blackening someone’s rep (further usually!) with the power of the word.

    • i like this – especially the idea of all this babbling going out into space. this idea of yokos is similar to the saying discretion is the better part of valour. if someone is a wad – it is usually obvious to everyone so it really doesn’t need to be said – it just blackens your own honour saying it. what i’d really like to do is control negative thoughts about people also – it can be such a time-consuming activity that can lead to inner fuming and paranoid thoughts. such a waste of time and energy.

  22. It is the wise way. Difficult, very difficult to truly walk that path and not submit in even the slightest way to the temptation of projection.

  23. ive done it for 3 days before. what happened to me is that you ONE come up with creative positive insults. TWO dont say much. and THREE write out your toxic venom instead.

  24. This is just too subjective for me, something tells me she has an abundance of libra in her chart. Lol, People tell me im being negative because i cause them think….

      • Maybe i lost the challenge already to some with that comment but come on this classic libra.. Its cute though. But not for people who have to make some a little uncomfortable to cause change, i would never want to take a break from being seen as being negative just because my scorp mn abbors too much superficiality.

        • I never talk down to people, I may bring up someone elses issues namelessly to show my little sister or nephew or friends the types of things that can happen if they do this or that. Because Ive seen it happen to someone else. I might get a little antsy and feel people I love are down the Neptune road of addiction and bring up said habbits, then Im slapped with the negative mark. It does not work with me though. reverse psychology.

          I just like to get it all out in the open also, so when the car accident or whatever ailment afflicts you that, I explained over and over that was so negative.. I can be free of feeling guilty Im not at your beck and call at whatever hospital your at. This my negativity is mainly preventitive.

          I didnt decide I never wanted things to look like sesame street. I would have gladly took that shady street with all they happiness. But we live in a dangerous world until we get it right. I do this no negative thinking 7 hours a night already.

          But at least I can sit iiI never said anything negative about the say nothing negative challenge. HA.

  25. On a slightly different note, I finally told all my family about me changing my name by deed poll. FIRST name & Surname (to my hubs). For me changing my name is the ultimate example of the power of the word or I wouldn’t bother.

    The family actually didn’t say anything too negative – I was really nervous too.
    Was quite grateful actually. I respect them more.
    Guess that when you really go for something, people recognise the effort.

    • Yep, Now you should do your numerology for your new name. My last name Neal was offered and changed by my mom asking me if I wanted my dads last name, come to think of it (just now) the first time actually, with her being a virgo with a gemini moon. I think it was more of a ploy to get back at my sisters father with the name change.

      Anyway I did the numerology for my previous last name, came out to the same number lol thats before, i knew astrology deeply and though that was quite freaky. Would be interesting to see if yours is the same.

      • The numerology is different with my new names, but I am not so into numerology with letters – unless they are hebrew names ‘cos kabbalah is pretty sorted re that stuff.

        That is pretty funny about your new and old name pushing the same numerological buttons for your life path though!

    • I did this three years ago after my divorce – changed my first name, lost my middle name all together, and went back to my family name.
      Very interesting to see peoples reactions – some folks will freak out and flat out REFUSE to call you by your new name, and will be pretty vocal and forthright about telling you why, and basically how silly you are. It challenges them.
      Some really make an effort, as it does take some serious pattern braking/re-wiring.
      Congrats on the new and improved YOU!

      • Thank you Zai sweetie! And so true. A friend said he just changed one letter in his name and asked his friends to use the new name. One screamed at him and refused flat out, calling him crazy and all sorts of epithets. Talk about sorting the chaff from the wheat!!

        Truthfully I don’t expect my family to call me by my new name unless they do so for fun. It is as you say a LOT of rewiring.

        The name is super pretty, I do love it! I order a coffee and get a thrill when the barista yells out my name, lol.

  26. It can be done, and based on one’s perspective, is not as difficult as anticipated. When my whole work debacle started last year, I was so upset that I’d have the occasional whinge at the Lovely Libran sister. However, when it all climaxed in January this year and I lost it, I was dead silent for a solid 2 days. Like speaking only to shop keepers etc.

    I’d realized that slowly but surely, my own refusal to gossip or talk shite at work was my own preservation. It distinguished me from the fwits and whatever people hear about you, they cannot ignore their own experience of you as someone who DOESN’T denigrate people. It’s unspoken and it’s quiet, but that registers in peep’s minds. They understand you have respect, and depending on how constantly voice your negativity, it can create a cloud around you.

    The other side of it is that I saw it as a way to stop leaking my own energy, honing my intuition vis a vis being able to accept what is. Not to mention that at some point, negative over-whinging (we all do it and this is not to be confused with thoughtful sharing) is sort of a way to feature yourself at the vortex of a drama. I begin to question my own tendency of wanting to portray myself thus.

    I may feel a thousand volumes amplified in my hurts and disappointments, but I also take succor in knowing that in the big scheme of things we all share suffering.

    Negativity will always be there, because pain is and it’s natural to react to that. But I would take Yoko’s suggestion as what we choose to say about it – and of course, the caveat that you try the experiment with kindness to yourself and the fantastic opportunity of what can come from the silence that space creates.

  27. Found out that when I’m falling over rocks to get my own shit together I simply don’t have the time.

    Also talking negatively about others affects my own vibe, immediately which I wasn’t aware of before.

    Still do it but not as much.

  28. I don’t think her artwork is at face value. See what happens could mean “see how being dishonest and not asserting yourself will negatively affect your life” Much like her famous wishing tree -fill a tree with goals and wishes and then end up with a tree full of paper. You only accomplished creating an artwork, not your real goals.

  29. I think the rules need to be a bit clearer as “negative” is not objective – its a value judgment. People tell me I am being “negative” when, really, its just me being objective or presenting a challenging idea/perspective – just me being me, basically. Frankly, I’m fuqing tired of playing to the lowest common comfort level – I really don’t get it. Anyway, perhaps the rule should be no talking about anyone ever. Just talk to the person and if they are not around – they are not around, period. Whatever the rules, I would like them posted for all so we can clear this whole “negative” bullshit right up once and for all.

    • I’m 37 and people still see me as Daria from “bevis and butthead. If you don’t know her, she’s witty and cutting. Apparently, that’s “negative”

      • It’s hard for us Gen Xers, when our disaffection just really reflected the world we lived in. Now US economy is back to 1992 levels, will our worldview save us? We’ve been here before!

        • I love daria, thats is like my favorite live action looking, catoon of all time.

          • O is that the same caroon as Daria, the unimpressed/able high school chick who lives in suburbia? Maybe she was a spin off from that character, i was too young for B&BH

        • Anon, I think the politicans federal reserf- (misspelling it just in case if tracking).. Haha and people in powa lol need this list stat.

      • Of course! :).
        George was my fave character. So flawed.. so damn funny!

        • ha ha me too, the sound of his exasperated yelling is the best, how can someone so whiny be so amusing instead of annoying? He has to be one of the best sitcom characters ever

      • OMG i spent all day trying to remember what it was!!! I have had TWO friends exactly like George and Kramer! Have been truly cross at being likened to Elaine, but i can laugh now.

        Thank you, David. That shows still cracks me up, and i adore Curb Your Enthusiasm.

        • No and i think that was what incensed me so much, the thought that maybe i did and didn’t realise!

          …but i shall embrace it, and try to practice in front of YouTube sometime today. Next time i see the people who said that i can just pull out the moves…won’t they love it!!!

    • Damn – one trip driving my daughter to school and already have to put $3 in the negatory jar – what’d I say about the Universe fuqing with us on this one….
      Saw the only two people that shall we say, don’t bring out the positive in me… haven’t set eyes on them in over 6 months, then BAM! Then I told my gardener not to be such a hard-ass when he called his’son ‘lazy’ – he was standing right beside him!
      This is going to be challenging…

  30. Believe it or not, as a multiple Leo (sun, venus, mers, mars) with Scorp rising, I am SO trying to take Mystic’s advice and not let F—wits ruin my QI. I find that the less energy I give them, even if it is “Wow, what an a–hole!” – the more energy I have to bring on my own awesome. I’ve been through a rough few years and am rebuilding a life and career after an abrupt (but SO needed) divorce – Interesting what neptune gave and then took away, as the post went. My theory which maybe very true to form, I hope that living well will be the best revenge to anything! ;-)

  31. I haven’t finished reading everyones’ posts’ but it’s late and even tho’ it’s been a really busy day, this post has been on my mind.
    I first tried being ‘ not a bitch’ ( as I called it then) at 18 when I worked out karma. But it just fed my profound shyness.
    In general I am not a bitch I try not to say anything negative at all & have done for years. But the problems I have encountered other than self-perpetuating my shyness have been an inability to stand up for myself. In other words because people knew that there would be no come back they treated me like dirt. Hmmm. This is still a problem that I’m trying to shake off and am getting there.
    So a few things I have learned. Being ‘ not negative’ does NOT mean being positive – in fact being positive is just as bad. I think it’s about not judging, discerning – yes – but not judging. If something is difficult for you – say so or avoid it, whatever it takes – if you cannot react ‘ not negatively’ toward something than you still have ‘issues’ to process regarding that, you need to look at yourself & look after yourself. It’s about being detached emotionally from a situation or person so that you can see it clearly.
    Neither does it mean not speaking your mind and not confronting issues, but learning to do so in a way that creates an opening to resolve differences. Of course even then not everyone will understand you, but you will feel better about yourself.
    I’ve recently been in a situation where I refused to take sides ( there were 3 ‘sides’) and 2 of those ‘sides’ have problems with that. I have told all concerned what I thought, but they haven’t listened or heard or think that I have another agenda – which I do – peace. This is where you start to reflect people back to themselves, remember that is what it is ‘cos they don’t like it and their reactions can hurt. My mantra – ‘what people say says’ more about themselves then it does about me’.
    Finally – not everyone wants to wake up and I love the way Buddhists use the word ‘Ignorant’ – it tickles me. We prefer Fuqwits here – but they mean the same – it is your intention behind the word that matters. I have found that having my own stash of words with my own meanings can give me a secret smile in the face of adversity :-) after all I once taught my son that the peace sign meant ‘fuq off’ ( his swearing was becoming excessive for his age) – that way everyone was happy.

    • i learnt to be a powerful and strong bitch by standing up for the weak at work. i had to embrace my dark side and make some ethical choices. i got brave from knowing i was acting and talking my principles. it worked, it was scary, i learnt a huge lesson in standing up strongly.

    • Thanks guys :-)
      He’s nearly 22 now & I’m so proud of him. Had a long phone conversation with him yesterday, I wish I could have been like him at his age – he really sees thro’ people & take no shit, yet people just love him for it ‘cos he’s not nasty or a bitch at all.

    • Willowwolf, you are an absolute guru for what you just said. I’ve been pondering how to express what i really feel about this all day.

      *contemplates use of peace sign – sees gold*

  32. agree with willowwolf.

    did a good deed for someone yesterday, and upside was discovering a new tarot book, ‘magical times’ – did a reading with quantum tarot, using interps in new book and grokked new learnings. it was the way the interps are worded that made emotional sense to me.

  33. I am this. I started making the conscious effort years ago and found that after a while:
    A) you don’t have to even try anymore, it becomes your natural way
    B) you feel much better
    C) when, after months and months, you find yourself in conversation with someone really negative and you’re having kind of a lousy day and you cave in and ‘vent’ a little bit in that style it feels absolutely disgusting and reminds you why you stopped in the first place
    D) in regard to the possibility of this hindering your normal functioning in life: you’ll find that it just teaches you to deal with things differently. Whatever you may need to communicate you find ways to restructure so that it’s more productive and less nasty.

    I also found that I noticed even more the people who like to rattle on about absolutely nothing in a bitchy negative way and realized that even though they seemed to think they had something important to say they really didn’t. At this point most people who know me know and respect that I have a “no shit talking” policy.
    Ultimately it changes your life, I swear.

    • this is a fab attitude. what it also does is make you a trustworthy person. that is you do not bitch about people behind their back and (some) people realise this. even if they don’t – you know yourself and this helps with your self-concept and self-esteem. it helps make you a whole, consistent person and an honourable person. well-done aquarpio – you are a role model.

    • Yeah – I can echo that too.
      When I get a bitchy rattler sometimes i might say something like ‘so what’s not wrong?’ and if they don’t go off in a huff it can turn the conversation into something much more pleasant :-)

  34. No way. My sag moon won’t have a bar of it. Negativity can be positive, fun even.

    • :lol: Agree!! It can be fun! Can you imagine Joan Rivers trying this. She wouldn’t last 5mins!!

      I have Moon in Saggo also (11th house square Uranus) :)
      Its hard for a Saggo moon to shut up.. Lol. My Scorp Sun hates it but who can stop that fire!!! It burns.

      • yes i can’t imagine this rule / philosophy applying for any comedian / comedienne worth their weight in salt, or however you say it ;)

  35. I’ve been doing this for a while now, and I can definitely say it’s changed the way I look at the world. I never realised how many negative things I said about other people, even if it was just a remark about how some random person on the bus was dressed. I mean, some people do things that totally earn them the nasty comments they provoke, but most truly don’t deserve it. The beautiful thing about stopping is the more you stop yourself from saying negative things about others, you start stopping yourself from saying negative things about yourself.

    It’s quite freeing. Yoko’s really onto something here.

    • I’ve been doing this for some time as well, started out as “no more gossip about …” and just expanded and you know, I do not even notice things like “omg she has a tad of cellulite” anymore. Course, I still see them things, but they have lost any meaning.

      Really realized the impact when I went on a celeb gossip site and read a few comments on how someone was “not dressed” and instead of elevating myself by thinking “how can she” I just laughed and thought “good for her, she’s got ballz and looks like she’s having a good laugh about future inc. hysteria”

      Now, I will be joining you in the experiment, but with my facial expression, my thoughts show too easily. Had been wanting to work on it for awhile, summer solstice good point to start.

  36. I agree with all the agove following my three day try out. I found it empowering as I looked at myself and questioned what I was doing rather than passing silly judgements on teh smallest things about other people. But aslo, something happened, I am annoyed with my boss, I believe she is favouring other people in the organisation and for somereason I cant work out being relly distant towards me. So being a sagg I am going to ask her about it….but carry on with this execise I tihink it is great. I know the difference betwen petty negativity and a deep feeling which has to be addressed.