Please answer, as honestly as possible, Agree or Disagree to the following questions.
* You sometimes prefer Fantasy Crush Scenarios to actual real relationships.
* You are Pisces Rising, Sun or Moon.
* You always feel more fond of your lovers once you have broken up with them.
* You enjoy reading legends such as that of King Arthur, his Queen Guenivere and the Knight Lancelot and could easily imagine such a scenario occurring in your own life.
* You have Venus in Pisces.
* You make no apologies for preferring the ‘in love’ stage of a relationship to the ‘working at it’ era.
* If a partner is neglectful or cruel, he/she cannot blame the other person for taking refuge in fantasy or a bizarre love triangle.
* You believe in the karmic concept of soulmates, Twin Flames and so on.
* You have Venus conjunct, trine, square or sextile Neptune.
* You fall in and out of love very quickly and with seemingly little control – almost as if a magic spell has been cast upon you and/or the love spell has been suddenly broken.
* You have Venus, Sun or Moon in the 12th House.
* You would rather be an archetype from a fairy tale or a poem than a stereotype in a cliched news media write up about ‘relationships.’
* You don’t usually online date because you prefer to let ‘fate’ play out in this regard.
* You tend to attribute karmic significance, an element of destiny having bought you together and spiritual depths to people you find sexually attractive.
* Love is stronger than death but you’re also out the door when it gets to the farting in front of you stage. Less is more.
* You have trained yourself out of drunk dialling but you sometimes still drunk text lines of appropriate poetry or music.
* You prefer Yearning to boring relationship discussions.
If you answer yes to four or more of these, you definitely have a Neptune Loving Problem and should seek help via the 14th Dimension, just beyond your base chakra during the next Void Moon.