Happy Hour Astrology Talk

Filed in Sun Signs

This boozy astro guide was put out in the Seventies by Southern Comfort but is now sadly out of print. I would have loved to have read how to talk to – say – a Saggo tanked up on Southern Comfort. So given as the original is no longer available, what would YOU put in your own version of the Guide To Happy Hour Astrology Talk? 

A year of the Mega Mystic subscription (includes all the Horoscopes & access to the awesome new Oracle) to the person with the best suggestions for our new version of Happy Hour Astrology Talk.  Cheesy astrological come-on lines especially welcome lol. 

143 thoughts on “Happy Hour Astrology Talk

  1. To Scorpios, once chemistry firmly established: “I think we should have sex.”

    Pisces: “You know, if more people listened to you, the world would be a better place.”

    Librans: “Hey babe, I just bought a bunch of the most beautiful lilies, they smell heavenly. Also there’s a Renoir exhibition next week – I bought tickets for us. ”

    Geminis:” Did you know…. (insert any interesting fact that is slightly cool and relevant) ”

    Capricorn: “I just made jam from our mulberry tree. It’s f*cking amazing. Here, try some.”

    Leo: “I am so impressed by the way you’ve handled this. Your team / band / friends think you are a star.”

    Saggitarius:” I’m going to hang with the friends I was surfing with in Hossegor last yr, want to come? Two of them are human rights lawyers working for the International Criminal Court, and they’re HOT, btw. I think we’re going to try making jelly shots with Absinthe and LSD. We’re all planning a trip to Sulawesi to visit an orang-utan sanctuary. Seriously you should ditch that wierdo and join us.”

    Cancer: “Let’s go for a coffee and a catch up! I’d love to hear how everything’s going with you.. How are things with your mum these days?”

    Virgo: “It was amazing – when I did exactly what you suggested, everything worked perfectly. I can’t thank you enough.”

    Aries: “F*ck, you’re amazing. Those other people are dithering idiots. Let’s go rock climbing.”

    Taurus: “I have a loaf of fresh sourdough and a wedge of gorgonzola dolce with our names on it.” OR “I just graduated from my shiatsu massage course, and I’m looking for people to practice on. Do you know anyone?”
    (while looking ridiculously, innocently hot)

    Aquarius: “So anyway, I was reading about philosopher X and the ways that he talked about critical theory, and how governments just aren’t tuning in to the needs of the people. What do you think of the Occupy movements in relation to that?”

    • ok, so not exactly happy hour talk, but you could feasibly *use* those lines at a happy hour :D

    • on second thoughts, although sex would be on a scorp agenda I am sure, a better “conversation starter” (I am gem rising after all) might be “You know, I’ve never told any one this before, but…”

    • LOOOOOOOL I’ve got Sun in Aries/Aquarius Rising and seriously, if anyone used either your Aries or Aquarius pickup lines, they’d win my heart hands down!! XD

    • in hindsight, I don’t think I have Pisces and Leo quite right…

      • Pisces: I could fall into your eyes.
        Leo: I love your hair, it’s so wild.

        As a Pisces Sun, Leo Rising, both these lines have been used on me to great effect.

      • 1. It was a Leo of all people who said to me once “So are we going to do it?” I think he has his moon in Aries (as do I), so that was about right.
        2. I ran into another Leo ex yesterday and the first thing I said was “good hair!” to which he smiled.
        3. Any sentence in which they are told they are magnificent or hilarious is good.

    • Friggin’ hilarious! I’d be apt to fall for the Aquarius line though – I need to see where I have Aquarius in my chart. I totally relate to them.

      • My brother is a double sagg – he’s currently on holiday in brazil and he really does say… it’s HOT… all the time ;-)

        As a Gem/Cap – you totally got me. Maybe sun sign synastry really can work… just for happy hour…

    • I’m a double Libra and I actually started swooning a little at your Libra entry. HA! You’re refined? You buy things for me? Tickets to art things? you’ve basically got me (add a pink frosted cupcake and this shit is ON)

      Also I have Venus in Sagg and was like FUQ YEAH! At the Sagg entry. Nice job!!

    • Ha HA Retro-astro boozology! Very very SPIRITual astrology.

      PISCES comes first of course!
      A blue wave drink.

      To Pisces, sobbing in their drink “I feel for you babe,”

      the crink for SCORPIO: Water Moccasin
      1 oz peach schnapps
      1 oz Crown Royal® Canadian whisky
      1 dash triple sec
      1 oz sweet and sour mix

      Added ice and ingredients in a shaker. Shake well until top becomes frosted. Then poor in a shooter glass. This will be best yet smoothes shot you’ll ever taste.

      Scorpio pick up line: I’ll tell you all my darkest secrets…

      and then of course they all have to go to A.A.A.

      Astro Alcoholics Anonoymous.

      • pisces with scorp rising, wow, people must be as transparent as window glass to you with that combo…!

    • thanks people! wow, maybe I *should* try getting out more and hitting one people..once i have established their sun sign ;)

    • Ha! Love this one! If I”d had at least three shots of tequila, it’d work ;)

  2. Aw shucks, I don’t have any good pick ups, but I was totally trying to talk to my drunk Uncle (druncle), about astrology last night, and I told him that it went waaaaaaay beyond “Cheesy bar pick-ups in the ’70s.” So perfect! He told me he had his mind blown when some cute girl nailed him for a Virgo.

    • Haha, gotta love “drunkle”! I thought I was the only one who did those kinda word blending! :)

  3. Haha…. This Toro is going out tonight for the first time in weeeeks! Celebrating because I have I got my exam results back & I got high distinctions for both! Pretty sure after a couple of vodkas cheesy pick up lines won’t even be necessary lol

  4. My pick up line, back in my dance party days used to be “you wanna come back to my place and watch Ren and Stimpy?” :razz: It worked.

    If I can’t hang out and chat for hours while listening to music until the wee hours with someone, then there’s no point in sleeping with them really. Unless they’re ridiculously good looking.

    Moon in Saggo, Venus in Libra. Gem NN

    • that’s a totally awesome line! most cartoons would work on me. or certain film genres…. zombie, film noir, anything french or italian, 1970s martial arts :D

    • point being, I am crap at real-life picking up, so i am going to use your old-school line (maybe update the TV show tho). So if any men ever have a piscean try this on them, you never read it here ok -.-

    • i used to know a guy who said this, the ren & stimpy thing late at night!

      and one of the most memorable things he actually plunged into my bare hand one day

      when i happened to be putting on a load of wash on and asked him did he want any clothes washed –

      was a pair of the most horrendously skid marked pants i’d ever seen – i felt a bit distant towards him after that :)

  5. Aquarius: “So…I reckon that not wanting to, like, own someone is really expressing the fact that you REALLY care for them. Do you like science fiction?”

  6. Race you to the bar (to an Aries) alternatively, race you back to yours.

    • first date with my aries was racing no hands on bikes to my friend’s bar. haven’t stopped hanging out since

      • Hey MissFine,
        What a cool image.
        I read on the comment abvoe that you are Libra, and i’ve heard it said before, that a Libran is like an Aries with Velvet Gloves. Whaddya reckon ?

  7. I only seem to attract Caps, so here is my offering:

    “Do you have the time? I need to get to my dentist and I want to arrive punctually, taking into account the traffic, prevailing winds and the aero-dynamic challenges posed by my stiletto-heeled, thigh-high boots and whalebone corset.”

  8. Aries-so you’re hot, I’m hot lets go
    Leo- love your hair/shirt/earings/ anything obvious, wanna ride on my BMW to the (insert hottest bar in town) where my friend (insert latest sleb name) is holding a launch party for (insert latest fad)
    Sagg – we’re going bungy jumping in PNG with the local tribe who we support with an orphanage wanna come?
    Pisces Like your aura is way cool, lets get deep into your base charkra and meld
    Scorpio (after long and intense grilling to check on ‘chemistry’ level}
    I think we have real chemistry here your place or mine?
    kataka – you love peacock blue drapes too?- swoon
    Taurus- my couch is so comfy – 3 seater, plush velvet with in built mini bar I’ve got some cool jazz we could lounge to.
    Gemini- wow you can talk and drink and think almost as fast as me – I like you
    Libra – I have a hibiscus farm located in the south of france up the road from the best champagne winery in the region come back to my place and i’ll show you on Pinterest
    Aqua – Wanna see my latest issue of New Scientist?
    Capricorn-So the all ordinaries are peaking lets celibrate
    Virgo-Can I spreadsheet your charms on my new program I developed?

  9. as far as happy hour talks go, I’d also most definitely have some suitable cocktail recipes, but they would have to be I think for moon sign and with a nod to the god of liquids, neptune. Ohhh in FACT, what would happen is you input your astro details into a little program that then analyses all the relevant asteroids (bacchus, dionysus etc), moon, venus-pluto (for how horny you were), sun sigh, any health issues (you know like pregnancy, detoxing, hungover etc) and then produces a LIST of recommended cocktails. You take the list to the bartender – also recommended on the list and calculated to be the most suitable for you that evening – and they whip you up something amazing.

    you could have little workshops for various transits – e.g. pluto over Asc,

    or something like “This Week’s Topic: How to handle a Pisces who has missed their own wedding” or “Help! My Aqua has gone AWOL” or “10 Time-Tested Ways To Win Over A Taurus” , “What instrument does your saggitarius love interest play? ” etc etc ….
    . “It might get loud” as they say

    • ” “Help! My Aqua has gone AWOL ”

      I’ll take that course – they do go AWOL, don’t they? What’s up with that? LOL

      • They go COMPLEEETELY AWOL!!! I had a fling with multi aqua who was a friend…. it was incredible… then I (completely blown away by it ) said as much and he disappeared for 3 months. He was my friend so that really sucked.

        He later explained to me I did everything wrong for him. (very kind of him)

        He said – he needs to know there is a door. That you don’t really really need him. If he feels that – then he will probably never use the door, but he just needs to know one is there.

        Do not chase. Especially now with Venus retro. If he writes you – I’d say 2 line emails in return maximum … like you didn’t even notice he had disapeared.

        • I have been friends with an Aqua for over ten years now. He’s gone AWOL numerous times. I expect it now.

        • Uranian Scales … I wanna sing your username to the tune of “Liberian Girrrl” … (Michael Jackson)… ;-)

    • Awesome, I hear we are coming out of the darkness and into the next Golden Age for 2012. I don’t go to bars -where I’m from, it’s just small, dark, and depressing- but this, this is an amazing idea!
      I think you need to go to your lender and propose this as your new business model, as a service to an upcoming enlightened humanity!!

      • hahhaa *do* have a friend in business banking…he’s on the skeptical side but I just need to prepare a decent business case and he might come thru :D xx

  10. Aries – I can lift 550 pounds with my legs.
    Taurus – Wanna come over to my place for some…. toast…
    Gem – I think we should start a band, you can rap while I play bass balalaika
    Cancer – But how do *you* feel about that?
    Leo – Lets start a bar tab… no no… on my credit card – no YOU are fantastic.
    Virgo – I noticed you noticing, yeah why IS the DJ playing trance after yacht house clubstep? I know i know….
    Libra – lets not fight, I’ve got a bottle of laphroaig at home.
    Scorpio – We’re all gona die so lets not waste any time here…
    Saggi – Heeey, love those beads (then you can’t get a word in)
    Cap – Been so busy travelling for work but can’t wait to get back to the country house to finish building the steam rock sauna… oh here’s a knife I handmade – do you want your wagyu rare or blue?
    Aquarius – HI – I work for nasa… going home with you? – I’m not really interested thanks…
    Pisces – I’m just on holiday here… sure I read that article on Best Sex Ever – that was right after finishing Bill Brysons short history of the universe. Are you..like… reading my mind right now?

    • ahahaha awesome gemricorn, pisces is great :D … cap and aqua – i reckon you have totally nailed them, and omg virgo hehe “yeah why IS the DJ playing trance after yacht house clubstep? I know i know….” xx

      ps wtf is yacht house? my clubbing days are over, ish

      • Hahahahaha that’s hilarious!!! I’m a Virgoan DJ and play a lot of psytrancey/dubsteppy hyrbrid sorta stuff. I can’t help but find this spot the fuck on ;D

      • Hey Anon.! Honestly I have no f-ing idea what is “yacht house” but I got an email the other day from beatport saying “genres on the rise” … and it always makes me laugh coz I work in dance music and I have nooo idea….

        Some of the genres on the rise fyi…. ;-)

        Progno, Complextro, Tech Trance, Moombahton, Drumstep, Chip tune, Witch house/drag… hehehe…

        • omg i LOVE all of those names! they’re so fuqed up and completely remind me that I am an old woman now and all the kidlets these days are now having completely different life experiences from me. if that makes sense.

          progno and moombahton sound the best imo :D
          thanks g’corn for making my night in a random way

    • Yup love this one Gemricorn, you have nailed the Libra in me. And god I do love the name of those sounds, think will head ova to utube and have me aliitle play in the musical isles.

    • Love the Scorpio one! Very appropriate!

      “We’re all gonna die, so let’s not waste any time here….”
      *priceless*

  11. Astro happy hr pick-up’s Part 1:

    To Mr/Ms Leo – ….’I was playing a gig in Century City two weeks ago and Paul McCartney turned up in the second set. I was so surprised! So I’m having a small gathering tomorrow night, just me and a few of the guys from the band will be playing around with some jazzy B-sides, and Paul wants to drop by late. He may bring Stella and the kids. So if you’re not busy, would you mind stopping by for a drink? I can arrange a driver to call by your house and pick you up if you like. Oh, and he can drive you home whenever you want.’

    Mr/Ms Libra/Taurus Venus – ‘Hey, I know a bar just around the corner from here, literally a 2 minute walk, and it’s always much quieter, no need for shouting, soft lighting, it’s like a little French hidden secret that hasn’t got out yet! There’s great wine and food, no smoking ….. beats me how it hasn’t been ruined with a rave review in The Times. I was told it used to be known for spoken word poetry performances in the 60′s. Would you let me buy you a drink?’

    Mr/Ms Archer – ‘You’re not keen on snowboarding are you? I’ve got a cabin in the mountains that’s barely used if you’re interested in hitting some white power – I’m flexible with any weekend this month if you want to grab a flight after work and we can start the weekend with a cold beer?’

    Mr/Ms Aqua Magnifique – ‘ You’re so unexpected! I never thought you’d join in or want to even talk to me, you look exciting, and have the most original jacket I’ve seen, did you design it? Man, I’m just a nobody-ordinary who wishes the world had more unpredictable people in it like you…’.

    To Mr/Ms Capricorn – ‘You Win! Hands down. I’d let my ticket to the Kate and Wills’ wedding go just for a chance to buy you a drink tonight!’

    Mr/Ms Pisces – ‘The view is much better from the back corner isn’t it? In fact, I hate crowded nights like these. I’d much rather be in the comfort of my own home. Do you live far from here? I can walk with you there, and, I feel a bit embarrassed saying so, but I’m staying in a hostel and my room flooded yesterday and the floor is still damp and the mattress is cold. Look, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, don’t get me wrong, but if there’s a hotel on the way to your house you know of…?’

      • Thanks, Lalune93 :)

        and cheesy pick-up lines are not one of my strengths. I usually roll with getting the object of my affections to pick me up ha!

  12. What’s this “Happy Hour” you speak of? Is that the hour after sex, or the one right before?

  13. So, unrelated, I heard from the multi-Scorp. Interesting. He is the least scorpy Scorpio I know, but he has the most scorp planets (5) of ANY of them! Is this like a critical mass of scorp planets, rendering him completely invisible to the outside world? the only giveaway is that most of his random comments on things relate to sex or stalking of some sort. but it’s never overt.

    Can we make Scorpios a topic for one of the Weekly Presentations? I need some … advice. or not, there’s not much one could say really :D.

    • I am heavily-laden with planets in scorp (aka The Board), and I think you nailed it when you said, “… it’s never overt.” My personal take is that this planetary concentration allows us to operate in a scorp way that is so scorp you don’t realize it’s happening. Like, one of those gravitron rides at the carnival: it spins you so fast you don’t realize you’re spinning, only that *magically* you find yourself in a zero-gravity situation.

      *floating away*

      • oh, my comment ended up down there somewhere, here ’tis pasted.

        yes and stuck to one of the padded walls, by virtue of g-force, with no chance of escape until the power is shut off. lol. well, I am enjoying the friendship anyway. After chatting to him, the thought in my mind was ‘you’ve got time.’ Oracle agrees.

          • The Oracle advised me to go all serpentine today. I mussssst oblige: my 7th house Libran moon compels me to consolidate energies.

            • saturn there too i guess…how’s saturn in 7th treating you – was a difficult time for my gf’s who have dealt with it recently. had to get a grip on adult friendships and formal work rships. mind you was saturn rtn for them too x

          • lol. i’m actually willing to look for the good… choosing not to run. *repeats ‘friendship-only’ mantra to self*

            • Just kidding! I’m sure he’s delightful and that there’s plenty of good readily available. Look at me :D

              Besides, it’s too late to run: all ready got you.

              Bwahahahaha

              • hahah Scorp inc i KNOW, I was just thinking about that this morn – I wasted more than just an hour with this guy, most of my evening spent analysing. Honestly. Oracle’s other advice was ‘wait til the new moon’ and ‘buddha-like- detachment, *shakes head at self* xx

    • I’m a multi scorp and scorp rising and its usually glaringly obvious to other scorp types, but not obvious at all to others. weird. I have a good “cute and fluffy” Libra/Venus cover up so people don’t get scared. HEAAAAVVVYYYY

    • My son has 6 or 7 things in Scorpio, and is also the least Scorpionic one I’ve ever met. I like to say that with all that going on, he is an Ascended Scorpio… a Phoenix, not a scorpion or snake like most of them. Oh, and he really resents the Scorpio reputation, because he knows it’s not him.

      • yeah, I’m thinking this guy is actually a haute scorp, but you know, yin and yang. always a delicate balance for the hot-blooded types, he channels a lot of his energy into wholesome extreme-type things

  14. Ms/Mr Virgo – ‘I agree with you, the barman is totally overcharging on the imports but no one else seems to notice, or even care! Champas instead then is it?’

    Ms/Mr Scorpio – ‘I had no idea you would even be into a place like this. Yep, I know, the underground club scene is not what it used to be. I’m about to have the waiter open a bottle of blood red wine from the secret stash…..?’

    Ms/Mr Aries – ‘Fancy a drinking game I picked up from my buddy after he won the Formula 1 G-Pri? I’m a bit competitive so I hope you can keep up with me’

    Mr/Ms Gemini – ‘Wow, I did not know for sure whether you would even show up, upbeat crowd tonight eh? Can I buy you a drink while I dispense the latest gossip?

    Ms/Mr Cancer – ‘ You are my pillar of strength! I’m so lucky to have you. And, what op-shop did you get that Vintage Armani jacket?’

  15. hahaha, yes and stuck to one of the padded walls, by virtue of g-force, with no chance of escape until the power is shut off. lol. well, I am enjoying the friendship anyway. After chatting to him, the thought in my mind was ‘you’ve got time.’ Oracle agrees.

  16. Aries: Yeah, you want to sleep with me. I can’t blame you. Here: drink this…and this…and this…

    Taurus: Doesn’t just looking at that leopard skin rug on the floor make you want to roll in it?

    Gemini: Menage a tois?

    Cancer: I’m not after something casual. I think we really have a soul connection. Do you like Pina Colada?

    Leo: Want to brush my hair?

    Virgo: It’s 4am and well, we could go back to my place…but here seems ideal and who’d (a) notice or (b) care.

    Libra: I like chilled champagne in bed with breakfast – you?

    Scorpio: You so need sex. i so want sex. Win-win?

    Saggitarius: Yes, those are my fingers. Can’t think how they got there.

    Capricorn: Business or pleasure?

    Aquarius: I can separate sex from love and I don’t need love this evening.

    Pisces: Tantric masturbation just doesn’t have the same life affirming essence.

  17. This little Taurean would swoon for sofas & sourdough. Just celebrated my birthday with my beloved. We had Moët & homemade veggo shepherd’s pie on the couch, then straight to the boudoir. Heaven.

  18. /off topic
    Checked out synastry chart with younger artist crush (not a boy though…) It appears his Vertex is in Gem within degrees of my sun, my Vertex is bang on his moon, his Pluto and Mars are on top of my Neptune in my 7th house! I think this means we could be explosively good together…? sounds v interesting anyways (p.s. we are both rather eccentric and unusual characters and had a meeting of the minds/similar sense of humour from time we first met 2.5 years ago)

    • hi gemyogi, sounds cool. Just on the Vertex thing, I am pretty sure that Kimmy Falconer has a page or two about the Vertex on her site, maybe check it out, has significance i unnerstand – but you probably already know that since you looked it up on the charts? x

      • Thanks Piscean, I just like the sound of the Vertex… reminds me of a vortex or point of great power… LOL

  19. Also my Venus and True Node in Cancer is close to his Jupiter and Chiron and the one that looks like a sickle (?)

      • Yes It’s Ceres… v. tired last night and didn’t have symbol chart handy…

        The synastry chart looks very balanced… my moon mars mercury opposite his sun + moon conjunct.

    • Hope you get better soon & your children are being especially nice to you for mother’s day!

    • O poor baby, hope you are soon well and on top of it all.
      Keep warm & wishing you chicken soup for the soul. x

    • ugh, flus. reminds me to devour immune boosting things this eve. hope u feel better soon mystic.

  20. What about the other side of the coin: Pick up lines used on you by various sun signs.
    For instance, a saggo acquaintance once stripped down to his underwear to show me how he had been working out and followed me around my house begging me for “sexy times”, then when I didnt put out and refused to drive 2 hours through the rain to eat a vegetarian enchilada with him, was told via text message “your dead to me.” Ha!
    Or the gemini whose pick up line was “your twin sister is hot, too.” (I do actually have a twin)
    Or the capricorn who yelled at me for two hours for lending money to the aforementioned twin sister because I was “special”, and then showed me how he fit into a pair of my leopard skin print jeans better than I did.
    Or the Leo juggler with the big mane of dread locks who tried to charm me by name-dropping bands his flatmate had played with, then when I was interested, was diagnosed as bipolar, told me he was probably manic at the time, and went away to a mental health unit for awhile.
    Or the virgo guilt pick up lines (“My life is over if you dont love me.”)
    Or the giggling piscean flirts who manage to turn almost everything into a louche double-entendre. (You gotta love them.)
    Or the Aquas whose idea of flirting is either arguing with you or pretending you mean nothing to them. (Unfortunately, I probably do this myself…)
    Any more, guys?

    • lol, I normally bounce the cheesy pick up line types before I find out their sun sign :D (bounce as in shut down, not some other meaning)

  21. Taurus love whispers in my ear….”You’re so comfy”….LOL. That is a superior compliment from him. “I haven’t been this comfortable in years.” I love it.

  22. OMG i have not judged this yet!!!!! So soz – it was when i was ill…And then i was in catch up mode…

    The entries are genius, seriously…lots of fodder for, um, thought here BUT i am giving this prize to Gemricorn

    please email me! x