A while back I ordered a consult from you, in which you informed me that Mars flitting back and forth over my natal Sun and Mercury would render me an honorary Aries for a bit. Since I don’t have an ounce of Aries in me and my natal Mars is not particularly strong, I was curious about how this would pan out but your consults have always been spot on, so I put my loved ones on notice!
I think I already told you about my loony idea of having four teeth ripped out in one bang. When the stitches started to bother me and the dentist wasn’t available, I just took them out myself…that hurts…don’t try it.
So after this experience (and Mars getting off my Mercury), I thought I’d learned my lesson, would recover some Virgoan sanity and calm the fuq down. Apparently not.
* I have started a new exercise regime that MUST be done at the crack of dawn and is not valid if I haven’t lost half my body weight in sweat.
* Woke up a few days ago before sunrise. Instead of going back to sleep, like a normal person, I felt smug at the thought that I had beat the sun and did a work-out.
* While working out, I saw the sun rise and actually said, out loud, “Oh I see you’ve decided to join us”…us being me.
* Don’t ‘do’ food cravings anymore. Food contributes to energy levels, if not, it is sludge and should be re-labelled as such. The Minister of Health and whatever needs to do something about this. I need his/her email address.
* Am suddenly baffled as to why people faff around with ‘fashion’. Everything looks hot on a fit body…right?
* I LOVE CAFFEINE…AND WRITING IN UPPERCASE! It’s not shouting, it’s ENTHUSIASM. If I want to shout at someone, I’ll pick up the phone.
* Have realized that dropping the vowels out of text messages is not butchery of the English language, but super-efficient and a great evolutionary step forward.
* Have got into a screaming match with a driver, who’s slug-like speed caused me to miss the break in traffic to cross the road.
* Won the screaming match.
* High off the win, I’m now taking on slow pedestrians too. If you insist on sauntering, move to one side. We need separate lanes.
Would that come under the Ministry of Transportation?
* Have had a close friend suggest the short-term benefits of tranquilizers.
Apparently I now write in bullet point too.
So is this how a native Aries or Mars in Virgo person feels ALL the time? I have to admit it’s freakin awesome! When my Mars-trip is over I might need to date or employ an Aries coach to keep up the momentum.
Thanks for the warning!
The Supportive Virgo”
Dear Supportive Virgo,
Yes, you’re on track with this transit for sure. We ARE ALL honorary Aries with Mars in Virgo now. Or Virgos with Mars in Aries types. Caffeinated, details crazed, more caffeinated, sleep is for losers, fast-tracked steep learning curves re the details mania.
I feel like i should actually apologize for not putting everyone – including myself – MORE on notice with this Retro Mars in Virgo thing. It has not happened for, like, 40 years or something but it’s like how bad could it be? Well, it’s like a Mercury Retrograde on speed, quite frankly. I think this is because Virgo is the sign of Mercury.
The Zap Zone impending – already in motion just adds an extra hard core evolution of global paradigm edge to things, you know.
Knowledge is no longer power. It’s just dead information. EFFICIENCY IS POWER. This is the Mars in Virgo mantra. Efficiency of social life (no timewasters). Efficiency of Metabolism. Efficiency of Time, Space and Motion. Efficiency of Everything. Efficiency Of Efficiency.