Psych-Leo
Time to Leo up?
Honor thy Hair? Art? Style of Life? Pass on your Sagacious Nobility to those younger or less gifted than you?
A crown can weigh heavily upon the gilded locks of Leo, even an invisible crown.
Compliment a Leo within the next 24 hours for extra heat, radiance and golden luck within your life.
For a fast psych hit: contemplate in what way you may somehow have surrendered a vital Leonic/Leonine aspect of yourself in 2006?
Once you’ve grokked the insight, you can then go on to RECLAIM THE LOST LEO BIT OF YOUR PSYCHE.
Truly. Try it as an exercise.
Tell what happens here.
Didn’t require contemplation. Knowledge of vital Leonic aspect surrendered in 2006 hit me like a bolt of lightning. Reclamation commenced/in progress. Just one of the reasons I am sooo busy lately with no end in sight.
All of 2006 was terrible for me…. I would have surrended my life at the time to make all the awful things that were happening to me stop . Hmmmmm time to ponder
I let my confidence really fall and started getting panic attacks. Ergh. Doing the self-esteem building classes from now – and I’m starting a new sexy dance class tomorrow night. Performance. Now that’s what I’ve been missing in my life…
Sounds like you’ll have fun. Enjoy!
Oh my god, EG, sounds *exactly* like my 2006 as well. I let other people’s opinions (or my perceptions of other people’s opinions) affect me and define me. That part of myself seems to be shifting this year though. All the best for your new adventures!
well this is a bit literal. I stopped performing in 2006 due to being hospitalized for very serious turn that had complications, ironically this is threaded into my current reality, but I made a very strong choice to take off the glamour and go under so I could deal with it. Problem is I never put it back on in the same way…
Since then I have been at war with my body, not realizing any of its underlying core until the start of 2010. My body has waged war in the most intimate of ways, ways that you can only tell close friends, so I took myself off stage and any kind of spotlight that went with it. My body used to collect a lot of attention and my work was my look. then boom, gone.
At first I wanted to be invisible and now I find the irony of having to reclaim my body from its constant flux and the distrust we have created in each other (my body vs my ego or glamour) and the irony of sitting here looking like I have the plague, I would love to feel the synchronicity I had with my body then. When it flowed. I cannot change the past but I would love to Reclaim the beauty and trust i had in my body then, so I can do the spotlight when I need to. I never had any of these phobias growing up. its not age either, i just need to heal my body and re create the trust again. To mend the damage so I can let people find me beautiful again. I’ve been hiding from attention for a long time and actively destroying men when they come near me who want this. But I have to reclaim it first. I think 2012 will be all about this.
Leo 2nd house
Oh this makes me sad. I hope you feel beautiful again
I guess it begs the question, what is beauty to you? Is it physical or a feeling? Is it something we CAN find in our own often hyper-critical selves or is it a gift that others give to us via love/ affection/ friendship, etc? I always ponder this stuff myself having battled BDD since age 7 so I can’t give any great sage advice at this stage…
But I do feel deeply for those who are battling the beauty demons – so lovely Ms, I send a big hug to you and contribute a huge lump of positive energy to your upward progress. xx
I know we are going to have a lot of beauty within blah after this but its not my pain. I seriously don’t care what people think or aspire to some ideal. My pain is what happened to me was so internally horrific that it fucked me up mentally about my body and my body started doing some crazy things, It became so much that I could not trust I would be ‘right’ even if I booked something. We are talking skin and entire wardrobe not fitting. entire, so I had to drop possibly the largest form of self expression and self manifesting awesome in my life so I could go and juggle something that was messing me up, totally unsupported, infact my family actually turned on me so I had to shut them out too. but I sidetrack. The beauty was that total harmony from trust. trust I don’t have anymore. I can’t even book anything without wondering if I will be sick on that day. The beauty is health and self expression not some kind of boring if only I was thin rant cause, I am a size 8 again. It’s that gap in my life that I have been trying to do behind the scenes thing and thats great but I miss that feeling of glowing and trust. step by step I am clawing it back. It’s just cost me a lot.
Ms. darling, it hurt just reading that. I understood that to be similar to the way a dancer knows every step, twist and turn intimately, who moves in her heart and her head, but is disconnected from the flow by something. A veil. A screen between the worlds of who you were before and who you are now as you deal with this.
I had no idea in your usual and awesome bravery that you dealt with this and I send you all the love I can muster – in Uber Kataka concentrate, you understand. I read your post earlier, at work amidst a ridiculously busy day that had me feeling like I should simply split cells to get everything done. But I had to go away and hold that for a bit.
There’s something in all you’ve written that has the element of the Trickster to me, of an indefatigably confounding and mischievous spirit who’s hidden away that Body-Soul Harmony for some insane random purpose. You said “my work was my look” and to be deprived of that in one fell swoop, of the then effortless artistry of dressage and presence to this stiltedness, this hesitation and this knowledge as you put of an absence of trust, the cost is truly as you say, a lot. I wonder sometimes why the Universe takes from us the thing we most take pleasure from and identify with, for me it was love. It was an ideal of a relationship.
I will risk an inkling though and hope you forgive me if I’m off. I believe that yes, there is doubt, that you can’t count on something that never used to be this distant. I do get when you say trust you mean you literally cannot depend on it, but there’s also that other level of trust. That innate sense of faith, of not being betrayed. I’m not sure I would term it as an issue of trust per se with you and your body, even if essentially doubt implies that. Because in all the time I’ve read you, I’ve never felt you as a person away from yourself in any manner, you don’t flinch from truth – yours or anyone else’s. Through all this, I’ve only seen you as a being of power, which doesn’t mean a lack of weakness at all, but a transmutation of it.
So. I guess I’d like to say that I suspect this painful detour is part of that, that it’s another layer to an art you will still express – maybe not through your body right now but later, maybe through some other means where you hold that gap, that loss of harmony and turn it into something else. You have been something many have not, and there is something unique and impactful you bring to that experience.
I just wanted you to know I strongly feel this is but a chapter in an adventure of many, many more. The heart and beauty of you will prevail to turn this into a story of something more.
this is an amazing reply lady and thank you for your insight. I think the hardest and most obvs for me is that I was raised by uber arian antics that believe sickness IS weakness so being cast aside from that and all is really why I have tortured myself about this more than prob needed.
I am fine with the passing of physical performing its just having the confidence as you say, that trust to depend on yourself and not having your own faith broken by yourself outside of your own hands?. I do need to spotlight on occasion, its essential to my career, but I am super scorpio about it all now. I hate cameras (won’t let anyone photograph me), I hate being hit on, I hate any kind of attention that is not work performance based. Everything to my appearance feels disingenuous, I feel poisoned and diseased. Even my back up plans are looking a near impossible feat due to an inability to commit from illness. My body is a channel so when I am creative in sync it is a physical experience to me, even though yes as you say I am mercurial, I can paint on a mask and show no hand, go home and collapse (well i used to, the cracks show now body has had enough) but its hard to feel proud when i am manifesting so much illness. I feel shame and i hide it from people. I am quite sure my family just wish I had gotten a man so he could look after me and their guilt, burden and embarrassment released.
but It’s not man based, beauty and faith in your own will never come from a lover or attention, it seems feeble in comparison to this and I in fact drive people away unless they are able to man up with me. It’s not something I can have someone fuck with nor will it not by nature overshadow insignificant ego demands for a girl on show.
Owning that I have some kind of insane physical channel and creating a safe space to let the guard down to nurture (which I am now) its just going to take some time, some love and some money.
Wish you so much in the way of fortune and blessings Ms. May all your heart’s desires come true! Used to dance loads as I hosted full moon parties, was a tiny, glam thing. It was hard to lose that side of myself. I do understand the feeling of not trusting your body to perform, my hips give out still and I feel like a marionette since I had my kids, a jumble of limbs. Wish I had that athlethic, confident togetherthess of yore. Working towards it slowly… Blessings for your brilliant mind-body connection back. Hug, xx.
Yes, it will take all that Ms., without a doubt. And I didn’t get the sense for a moment that any of this “thinning of trust” was about body ego insecurities or validation via others. That’s not the ether message I’m getting.
What does strike me is that like it or not, you will need help, attention and caring – in varying degrees. Being fiercely independent myself, I loathe the thought of losing self-sufficiency. I have though, in the most awful ways – not like yours, but crushing nonetheless. Then there’s that added consciousness of being a burden, or more terribly, actually having experienced perceptions of such. Illness makes us even more sensitive, because we’re so vulnerable and aware of how very fragile we are.
I’m glad you recognized that you were given a bias/training to interpret sickness as weakness. It IS a weakness, but so what? It doesn’t take away from the rest of the parts that are immensely strong, and we all have to accept that it’s in the fabric of life to be weak at times. It’s a cycle. So I suppose what I’m sensing in all this is an opening of sorts.
You’re right to be careful with who you let in who could affect the precious little energy you have, but I also see that there’s this question mark, this wonderful unknown of who or what else may step in to be there for you – in whatever unexpected and unpredictable ways they can be, to help you. We know the past, we know our hurts but we cannot know our future.
I wish for you to be all the better but I know even sans details that the road is long and quite lonely. All I’m saying is everything you feel is perfectly normal (not feeling ill, but the exposure aversion etc). And I offer my own surprise and shock humbly from the experience I had of being in so much pain that I’d reached out blindly, only to find many different hands there. I didn’t know who cared for me, until I let them care for me. I’d just forgotten the people I was there for, and things I did they were only too happy to reciprocate in their manner.
It wasn’t about being dependent either just this weird window that opened while I was busily watching the door sort of thing. I think you know what I mean..so while these are not words of solace in the strictest sense, it is the truth I feel coming from somewhere to you.
I strangely feel trust that you will make it. xxx
I’m so sorry you’ve had a tough time. Oddly your story resonated deeply with me as I went through something similar. I decided the time was to re-assess all the outer image and see how I could live without it. I’ve had an ongoing illness for a lot of years, but now I wish I had the same care for my appearance I had then.
Wish you well for the future x
Thankyou for your kind words Lucy. TBH I wish I would have known about some of it in advance but every Astro/Tarot/Psychci type I visit are a crock of shit. They can’t predict anything for toffee. lol
How do you mean by this.. I decided the time was to re-assess all the outer image and see how I could live without it.
I hate my appearance, so don’t have anything to change from there. lol
I think its easy to get caught up in your image if you receive lots of praise for it. You can end up fearing being seen as anything other than the things that made you successfull. I didn’t want that, so I let go of it for a little while. I didn’t want to do a demi moor and have a melt down because I realised I wasn’t the 20 something hot thing on the block anymore.
its very hard to talk about in a proper context but I understand. Sorry to hear about you too Lucy. I am just being brazenly honest so I can try to get over this. It’s been too long and too many vipers around trying to capitalize on this issue with their own boring fame/ money/self promo. It’s a very specific kind of self love thats needed. I hope you find yours as well. xxx
The vipers! In the face of the obvious physical crap, plus the insidious dragging and sucking of the vipers, one has to find supersteel to hold oneself up. And then the ensuing tension of resolve makes it difficult to feel ease and flowing trust. Reclaiming natural joy in one’s own beauty is really hard while clenching one’s fist and jaw. Warrior beauty is amazing and inspiring but sometimes one just wants to fall into the luxury of glamorous pleasure.
Lucy – what did you find from living without the outer image?
I married a man in 2006 who I gave way too much say over how I looked and ended up looking like a non person. He also told me I was too fat to be attractive. (After I’d had a child).
I left him, returned to my normal weight and became glam. I’ve stopped smoking (the Easy Way Allen Carr) and put on a few kilos and am battling the question of beauty/ sexual attractiveness
I think just meant I put far less emphasis onto my appearance and didn’t want it to effect my ego, and also not continue to be afraid to be seen without make up. Ironically I think it sounds superficial now, but I was very caught up in my image probably to the detriment of constantly feeling like I had to ‘put on a face’. I didn’t want to be afraid of living without it. I guess it was also a bit of a buddhist philosophy of learning to live inside with very little and still being super confident. I also suffered a lot of years with an illness where I ended up having to use a wheelchair and that certainly takes away the vanity card!
I don’t think it helps on the internet that so much seems to be put onto the superficial side of life, i.e the amount of fashion blogs, tagged photos etc.
I’m still searching like you, I think now I’m just learning to start again from scratch with it, whilst also missing the person I was before. x
xx
Thanks. x
I think I need to concentrate on not being perfect, letting go of who I was before but embracing her, and surrendering lovingly to who I am now.
Go Ms. I have faith in you. Your avatar is tres sexy. You’re already putting the message out there that you’re attractive whether u realise it or not xx
That’s horrible. I had chronic illness take over my life in the end of 2007 and had to stop performing live. It’s been a really difficult road for me as well.
I am working on my health and immunity and gained a few pounds so feel very nervous about taking the stage again.
I know how cruel and unforgiving people can be (but they are also criticizing from the side-lines.) It takes balls to get out there and just do it!
I am rooting for you!
Leo is my MC in my 9th/10th House cusps.
I looked and Saturn went over my 10th House in 2007. How bizarre.
the pressure to be perfect. best with yours as well. Leo MC is made for show xx
I think you’re beautiful Ms.
Ms, best wishes for your journey with beautiful health and self expression.
I can see how your story is leo 2nd house.
xxx
2006: draining relationship where I began to cut my hair off. It was waist length. This emotional bad habit has lingered, I haven’t had hair past my chin since. I get itchy fingers and the scissors come out whenever I am sad/grumpy/dissatisfied.
BUT to reclaim this lost bit of Leo Psyche, do I throw my scissors out and force myself to regrow my hair, or actually get it cut by a trained hairdresser so that I look fabulous even with short hair?
Nancy, don’t have time to log in, but this is Fi. My heart goes out to you because i so recognise this – I had this happening to me too, for a few years, when I was in last few years of school, millions of miles away from family, and a total mess, emotionally, thanks to my own perfectionism, a cheating first love, and all the expectations that were on me (I’d won a scholarship and didn’t feel I was worthy). Just couldn’t stop cutting hair when upset – ended up like buzz cut – and I have LEO Mars and Saggo Sun and hence love long hair. I think it is an obsessive-compulsive form of depression – I had other symptoms (ie bulimia, also now recognised as symptom of obsessive compulsive depression) at same time.
If you love long hair, and you’re still doing it, I think it’s like a form of self-mutilation – ie punishing yourself for cutting it in the first place, or for not looking like you want to look and knowing it will take ages to grow again, or using it as a form of aggression that is misplaced, directed against you, when it should be directed at whoever is pissing you off. But of course, only you know where it is coming from, .
Throw out the scissors solution? Worked for me – I started finding my voice and getting angry where appropriate instead of turning it in on myself. Go see best hairdresser you can afford. Then let him or her guide you through the growing out process with cool styles. Hairdressers can be great listeners, too.
oops, so I was logged in already!
I’m thinking a Leo would go the grow. Good luck holding back the itch. Remembr you’re beautiful no matter what you choose xx
Both, nancyx! Do everything to reclaim yourself! Spending time, money and social energy with a fab stylist will honour your hair in the positive.
Throwing out the scissors may also mean working through the inner issues with fab support, you know, throwing out the “inner scissors”…the actual implements are not the true weapons you hack at yourself with.
Balance eliminating the negative within, plus bolstering positive pampering. (Former hair hacker, skin slasher and burner here. Very old self, shudder to think of doing it now, but have been hacking at body through smoking for example. If i don’t let go the inner scissors they come out in another form at my most vulnerable.) Gather your resources to shine xx
‘the actual implements are not the true weapons you (att)hack yourself with’. What an insight Millie.
Am having difficulty with the nicotine 12 months now and about to re-start Quit and according to my lung function read-out, must take it seriously this time. Difficult because i have an emotional attachment to it thro’ my Mother, letting smoking go is letting the last thread to her. Sondra Ray, RB Queen said i received a strong message at birth, ‘Not Wanted’ as Mother was unmarried.
My hard-wiring to smoking is made of Titanium, dammit. It appears all the breathwork i did when fulltime delayed the damage, but it has emerged now. This is certainly a case of physician heal thyself and get my Scorp Chiron on. The Scorp that can sting itself to death.
A couple of Re-Birthing sessions cut it back 30%,
Patches-90%.Five minutes of Yoga 10 times a day may do the rest, but think cold turkey is the definitive ‘stop’.
Being older, i’m here to tell you the damage doesn’t show up til in 50′s. Eight years to repair my Sweet, so do Osho’s ‘STOP’ technique WITH me?
Do not battle it as it gives it energy, just STOP.
Yes, i’m talking to myself
x
It seems i’ve actually stopped but i’m Neptunian so I know what ‘seems’ means! I quit last December and just watch the cravings come and go. Cold turkey was/is my style.
Every time i see one of those This Is What Happens After You Quit posters i stop and check and giggle. Used to hate those Quit ads: tell ME what to do! Now i feed off them. Eight years to repair??
I enjoy watching someone take pleasure in a cigarette, not being in battle with their pleasure. So i don’t battle cravings any more. I tell myself i can buy some if i want. Just never get around to it.
Even if Mother was mean, it’s hard to let go of Mother. Not commenting on your Ma, Pegs, just a general obs. Aren’t you Cap rising? So that makes Cancer Descendant?
Wow, yes you are right. The ‘inner scissors’ thing rings true for me.
Nope. Nothing…. I looked through my diary of 2006. Nothing Leonic/Leonine at all.
There is no lost Leo part of my psyche to reclaim either. Don’t resonate with the Leo vibe at all.
oh okay, does buying and selling property qualify as Leonine? That’s what happened in 2006 and I’m thinking of buying a place again soon. Not in any hurry tho.
And it was the year i dipped my toe into the online dating world. Thinking of going trying that again too. Maybe it will be different this time around with Neptune in Pisces. Again… not in any hurry.
It difinately could depending on your chart. Do you have:
Leo on the 4th house cusp or intercepted in your 4th house?
Sun in your 4th house?
The ruler of your 4th house in Leo?
The ruler of your 4th in aspect with your Sun?
I have my ruler of my 4th in my 2nd house. I make money from my land and home and with buying real estate.
Me too on making $$ from real estate
I have Jupiter in Taurus in 4th house.
Sun in 10th. Saturn (my ruler) in 2nd squares Jupes in 4th. That explains it. But it has nothing to do with Leo.
I have Vertex in Leo in 7th but that’s more to do with fated encounters
…hey catfish moon, do you have any thoughts on what it might mean for ruler of chart is in the 2nd house? If you do, i’d love to know your opinion on it! Also, i have ruler of 2nd cusp in 2nd – and, like you, the way i make money is totally linked to this too. i’m wondering if the chart ruler also being in the house of money might add a bit more magic. or maybe it has to do with my identity or something? i hope so anyways.
Since 2001 life has been one long roller coaster of crap. More downs than up. Don’t know where this fits in with this, but none of this applies to me!
Oh so weird. 2006 my Venus in Leo lost her crown so that when I next fell in love, I was disquised as a commoner and let him walk all over me. When we broke up, he left some things at my house. He’s been dealing with my commoner and wants them back. Somehow yesterday, I found my crown. The response he’s getting may throw him for a loop. I should add that my
Lilith is also in Leo. This should prove interesting!
Such awesome synchronicity this week! I just told a Leo bud congrats on her new pregnanacy she thought she would never get. Her pre-Npetune man of like 10 years told her he didn’t want to have kids. Then he cheated on her and knocked the girl up. Of course she dumped him, found another man, and wasted no time! My new hero! I don’t know how she does it. Freaking amazing. It takes me like 2 years to get one date, but she can accomplish this in like 6 months.
my leo girlfriends are like that too. They are the ones I know who move on immediately and into very happy stable relationships. lucky in romance.
Not all of them, of course. But their rebounds seem to work more than anyone else I’ve seen.
I know I want their secret! They just don’t seem to get hooked on anybody because maybe they love themselves more? I envy that so much. You can replace guy A with guy B and it’s all the same for them.
HA!
The funny thing I just realized is Leo friend 1 left Saggy hubby for Cancer man.
Leo friend 2(years later) left her hubby for Leo friend 1′s ex Saggy hubby.
In small towns, we recycle.
HA!!!
Leo 1 is jealous of Leo 2 now…but not because of the man, but because her kids with Saggy man now have an alternate mother figure. Totally immature about it too. She knows it and admits it.
recycling! LOL! It’s like that here when it comes to scenes you are in. Once you date like 2 or 3 people, you have “slept” with too many people indirectly. That’s why you have to start hanging with a new crowd or just hit on the brand new ones. I’m running out of new scenes to be a part of…I’m too old or too young for many of them or just not interested.
But Leos are like salmon. YOu can’t farm them, packing many of them in tight spaces or they just don’t do well.
No doubt.
One of my Leo male friends has a Leo girlfriend. They have been together for years and even lived together for a long time. They are even in a band together(but it took a whole year before they could play music together). But now they have seperate cabins. The last time I saw him I said, the thought of living with someone again makes me want to puke. He said, me too. LOL. He says they love their seperate cabins. Too much Leo for one cabin alone…HA.
Saturn in Leo. I completed an art oriented masters degree and became a yoga teacher. Teaching is a very fulfilling performance practice.
I was feeling horribly unsupported by my nuclear family, who are very strong in Leo. Moons, Mars, and parental Saturns. I had to bear some painful wounds by myself — around creativity, of the body, heart and mind by myself, but the rewards were huge, even if there were scars.
Leo mostly in the 10th, rules 11, loaded 5th.
Let’s see….in 2006 was when my 5th house Venus shined. I looked the best I ever looked and was on my way to do big things (college). Unfortunately I was too engrossed in a toxic connection/relationship and my 8th house moon was poisoned with envy. Perhaps that’s why I surrendered my crown and gained the weight back. I guess I should use Mars retro in overhaul to gain my crown back (gym and healthy food).
And oh yes 2006….
The Leo part of my chart has nothing in it except Vertex which is not even a physical body. It’s part of my 8th and bit of my 9th house.
2006 was awful. I just re-read old journal entries from 2006. I was a bloody mess. The only thing that kept me from ending it all of some weird mental buoyant attitude. I gave my heart after I dared to fall in love again to some jackass who treated me poorly. Then after he tried to break me, I proceeded to date another crazy person, but crazy in a completely different way. My friendships all went to hell but i was making new ones at the time. I had big dreams for my career and personal life…and it was like nothing was going to stop me.
I don’t want 2006 to ever happen again, but maybe I can fall in love again, under more mature circumstances.
2006? Yikes! My hope is that the nightmare is over. Lost job, home, husband to death, health, lover, dear friend, then job again, all in 4 years. Family was rarely supportive, rather critical instead. Walked it alone. Me and my Aries moon. Counseling, meditation, sound healing, yoga, surgery, exercise, and nutritional supplements all helped combat the horror. Now in 2012 I feel a sense of ease in that the chaos is settling, and I am SO grateful. I hope other struggling Leos are coming back into their light again. The world needs us!
My mum disputed my birth time yesterday by five mins and now I am trying to reconcile being a Kataka rising instead of Leo rising. I am now having an identity crisis – definitely trying to reclaim the lost Leo, which is much more befitting of my psyche.
Lol! That’s the most definite loss of Leo I’ve heard yet. You go girl! Leo would!
Hmm… Or go boy, whichever you are
OMG! Have had this experience, so devestating… Best of luck with that. Angelina Jolie Cancer Rising I think? It’s a very loveable asc I think!
Lost the man of my dreams. Couldn’t have been more devastated. He’s married someone else now. Can I have another one please?
I hope you get one even better for you and him!
YESH! This!!
Saturn in Leo in my 9th House was a good year for me. Traveled, performed at great venues. I had great new haircut & color.
It’s when it shifted into 10th I ran into some problems regarding health causing me to cancel a tour. ugh!
I followed a man with whom I didnt have a future to a town I didnt really like, away from friends. I am still there and still donr really like it. On the plus side, I am in a better paid job, have a home and animals, and am hopefully making a potitive difference in others lives thru something else I am doing and the (aqua) man is long gone! Yay!. Leo is in my Third.
Ditto, to another country on the other side of the world in 2006. A strange time of soul searching has followed, with Man out of the picture now and new self in process of being reborn.
Hello everyone.. Happy Full moonie..Great new blog Mystic.
Mercury in Leo in 3rd house. Me communicating excatly how i feel, maybe with less drama. More hair tosses.lololol Split from hubby 2006. and have been feeling all this sludge from that time coming up again. Confidence must work on that.
And have been seeing a really great Cappy gentleman, who has taken me by surprise. That ol fear of being hurt and vulnrable has reared itself last nite.. A bit of truth telling and blunt arrows shot his direction, handled it well. We have come to a new understanding. BTW how the hell do single mothers juggle dating? Im finding it like i have two seperate lives..
I find it like two seperate lives too. But I like it that way at the moment.
two seperate lives….exactly. It is bizzare.
I stopped having fun in 2006! True!
Leo in the 5th with True Node
In 2006 I became a Mother and then came down with the most sh*tty case of PND as it turned out my immune system and turned on me and destroyed my thyroid gland.
I was so miserable, lost and sick. I felt totally unsupported by my Hubby, who in turn thought I had gone mad – imagine living with someone with the worst case of PMT you can imagine for a year….. Then imagine being that woman…. It sucked.
This morning I woke up at 4 am – the full moon was exact at 5.55 am – I burnt my diary for that year, and all my Morning Pages, and all my other diaries that don’t fit me anymore; then I stood in the ashes of the fire and dedicated myself to rising Phoenix-like, shining and glorious into my new life.
F*cking A-Mazing.
Then I came and read this thread
My Saturn & Pluto are in Leo on birth chart.
2006 brought some real freaks into my life to my detriment, 4 mentally
awry personages that brought me down badly & took 3 years to disengage
from their madness as it fascinated me. Qi vampires much? MUCH!
The road to hell is paved with good intentions & have since learned to
protect myself but it took team to return me to my usual innate happiness.
AND communication here with the advanced souls that are Myst’s followers.
2012 is radically different & very little could disempower now, if anything.
WOW. I had the years mixed up at first…then i realised it was actually 2005 that i cut ties, boxed up the life of five years and started fresh at ground zero in another city. Goodbye to the movers and shakers i knew meant goodbye to free reign over the kingdom of elite entry, but also to the ever pervasive drugs and freaks on both sides of the social trax. I was all about new friends, creative inspiration. I was transient, and after leaving my connections from a decade in my job worked a series of temporary contracts. I earned professional respect from my contract work, set up a permanent job and found a fab place of my own after supporting a crumbling friend.
Then in 2006 for the first time ever i allowed an ex back into my life, gave up my hard earned home and job to move with him to a city where i knew noone and renounced my newly made kingdom of the self. It’s not exactly literal but i feel i lost my sense of style. Here’s the superficial hair bit: i grew my hair after the break up! He wanted me to grow it so i did it afterwards, like a f* you. I have heaps of hair and it grows like wildfire. Feels like a cage to me, all that hair, curls tangling in everything. Hate being told its beautiful: you try living weighed under it. Course i’ve returned to how i like it though truth be told if i had the face for it i would LOVE the freedom of being bald. I also constantly tell hairdresser i want to grow it… i’m easily satisfied
Leo MC opposite Venus Aqua 3rd and True Node Aqua 4th. Saturn squares MC and Venus, IC, NN.
Saturn and Venus were just beginning transit of 10th house, opposing natal Venus IC NN.
Oh goodness M..that is exactly like how i feel when i have my hair long. It’s like some weird bondage/cage thing. It creates a handle or something. I will grow it if my man insists, but otherwise, it’s short. My long hair used to dictate my lifestyle too. It’s a pain in the arse to go swimming with long hair and trying to tuck it into a cap. It gets caught on things.
One of my Scorp gal pals who has ass length hair told me that even though she has a long hair fetish she knew it was time to cut her hair when she sat down one night to go #1 and she peed on her hair.
Worst nightmare!!!
Did hair modelling before i started school as hair was hip length. Remember holding hand of grown model, me with geisha hair that took hours, walking the catwalk at a show. I was 3. The only man who could make me change my hair for him would be a gay hairdresser!
I needed that laugh, thank you.
Had my hair waist length for 5 years and cut it off last year. Best thing I ever did. My life now has become perky, bouncy and healthy like my hair. Instead of being weighed down. Yes hair can be a cage indeed.
WOW been a strange week of realisations….Leo in my 2nd house. I moved in 2006 back to sydney. A supposed new start but I didn’t do what I said I would and follow my art path. Lacked confidence. Doing this now big time. I have realised that me being creative heals my soul and empowers me. Have wasted alot of time. Also in 2006 met a man that I fell madly in love with and he broke my heart. As have a many men since then. This is one area in my life where I am fearful and feel very disempowered. I hope to grow and solve this issue. And see those red flags before it is too late. Quote from a song I was listening to this morning….”Don’t let me fall for anybody else. Until I become unbreakable ready for the world to turn.”
2006 saw me look in the mirror and like what I saw for the first time after 3yrs of body-image related depression.
Truly a Leo moment, as it was after doing my hair the day after an awesome hair cut that I looked and actuall verbalised, “Wow! I look good today!”
So I went and put on my best jeans, my favourite shirt, my best accessories and rocked the day!
It echoes forwards to now where I find myself in the position of being revisited by those daemons and attempt to exorcise them completely this time. That version of me is no longer someone I want lurking in the shadows.
Thankyou Mystic, this post has helped me more than I can say xxx
the synchronisity of life makes me want to puke sometimes.
drawing a total blank here for 2006. I can not remember that year at all! I know I was working on finishing the interior of my old house. I did alot of the work myself.
I am working on my current house now.
But today…..Today I went back to this very day 3 years ago and the massive decision I made then that changed my entire life.
I’m still trying to make peace with it.
This morning had a nightmare. Had a mellow resting day. Cut some lines of communication with subject of nightmare(that he doesn’t know about), then later in the day remember what today was.
It feels like the universe said with the nightmate…Look how you chose….you chose very badly. In the dream I was calm though and that is something.
Ugh, in 2006 I was sleeping on a floor and got arrested and found out my grandma was terminally ill. I also lopped off all my hair! Was in the midst of horrid eating disorders, quit 4 jobs. Not a fun time for my Leo moon/Asc., much less the rest of me.
MM’s psych quizzes – so much better than Sudoku, Tetris and Facebook combined!
oh wait- did i just waste a compliment that could have gone to a Leo?
Oh what the heck, it’s Leo moon, all worthy gifting is good !
Am gonna do this on the bus and report back x
I KNOW this is not just a quiz, for fear of sounding shallow…
(joke)
Is this the “mindful” astro writer coming to the fore?
ran away to hide from a bully…
(couldn’t take my art studio with me).
Now set up new studio…sculpting mermaids (pisces 5th house)
bully still a psychopath- authorities now deal with him if he crosses the line…..he has natal mars, sun, mercury in libra in T square to saturn in cap opposite cancer moon….
Mermaids, how lovely!
The kind of thing a bully can never take.
Good on you for getting authorities involved, sadly too many psycho/sociopaths don’t get what they deserve in part because they haven’t been reported.
Nilaya, if you happen to be musically inspired can I recommend an album? Heard a track this morning as it is cd of the week on ABC Classic fm . The musician is proclaimed the world’s best oud player. It is exquisitely haunting and sublime to listen to :
Joseph Tawadros – Concerto if The Greater Sea
Love Joseph Tawadros and the sound of the oud
in 2006 i lost my cool and my leo essence. i now see that i grovelled and grovelled after a guy, trying every trick in the book to show that i was worthy of his love and admiration. Terrible example to set my daughters. i have been thinking about it this past week, interesting. thank you
Super interesting post this. 2006 – birthed my first child, motherhood coinciding with giving up stage work and acting. The deepening of an amazing love with my husband. Slowly but surely, lost the ‘shine’ off my own personal appearance, energy given to being a full-time mama to my two children & family & putting my own personal creative life (aside from child-raising which is creative too!) tucked away in storage – til now!! Reclaiming some little vanities to do with my physical appearance, health & well-being, interest in beautification & have begun a new love affair with a different art form, photography. LOVE!
Venus in Leo; also have a dominant mother-figure who is extremely Leo… have cleared much negative energy within that relationship in this last era too.
Pluto transit confidential from MM outlined lots of 5th house stuff for virgos in these years?! (Virgo sun)
Getting back in touch with the romantic relationship with husband, not purely as parents.
Only venus in leo, but Lilith, Nike and Dionysus (see Mystic’s new post!) all conjunct in Kataka in 5th house natally.
Much strength and respect derived from heart and art associated with Leonic stuff.
2 things:
1: 2006 and I met someone i wished i hadn’t, looking back.
2: i started doing some leo type stage work – but people did not give me an easy door to enter thru.
Thanks MM for allowing all us Leo’s to pout, roar and shine all in one post. with confidence we won’t be pulled down. You have no idea how hard it is to keep it all in AND keep it together with royal sanguine 24/7. i’m lucky to have aquarian chill to keep slightly sane but at the mo I am throwing my weight around re. career wise showing peeps and myself I do know what I am talking about and no freebies. nadya. My generosity re, biz stops at the door. step over it and you start paying.
re. 2006 one of the worst years of my life. nuf said.
In 2006 I had to live with my parents as I had no $. A few months before flew back to Oz to start a new life and study.
You know, it’s not as humiliating as I thought it would be to live under a desk? I lost all my proud illusions.
I didn’t need them anyway.
Leo in the 2nd. House of MOVEABLE possessions.
Oooh…interesting. in 2006 i was insanely depressed. I had been looking like shit, tried to grow out my hair but ended up cutting it off again (seems to be a running theme here), finally ended an on and off 7 yr relationship with a leo moon man…was feeling totally detached from all creativity…basically isolated and trapped. i have leo on the 10th, sun in the 12th, aries on the 5th. NOW! I look AMAZINg, lost a ton of weight, my hair is one of my best features and am having a creative surge like never before. in fact, last night’s full moon leo was one of the best nights i’ve ever had in my life. no joke. I stayed up all night with my current crush, taking naked black and white film photos of eachother in a dimly lit room, with a gun, and a scarf wrapped around his face, i really can’t ask for more…boys, sex, drugs, guns, photography…wow
and nudity….and boys…
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