“I’m Actually A Really Amazing Cook, Right?”

Filed in Sun Sign Survey

Jacques Olivar

In honor of the soon-to-be New Moon Radical Candor Eclipse, let’s do it.

Tell your secrets and your lies.

Most of all – because Mercury IS Retrograde – reveal here the most outrageous bull you’ve ever said in order to seduce a person.

That’s right.

Fibs re your level of accomplishment at something.

Nonsensical name-dropping.

Ludicrous lies for leisure.

Times when you’d say anything just to service the getting-your-rocks-off-cause…massive mendacity so as to maintain the Zing between You and Him. Or Her.

And yes, please cite any astrological details you deem relevant. OR irrelevant but you’re showing off.


158 thoughts on ““I’m Actually A Really Amazing Cook, Right?”

  1. Never lied about nuffin’ and have always had to beat blokes off with a stick with a nail in it. True guv. I swear.

    Sag sun, scorpio everything else. Virgo rising (pays attention to details :))

    Do tend to s-t-r-e-t-c-h the academic record when feeling outmaneuvered intellectually; but this rarely happens. True, guv. I swear. . . :p

    • I can cook. I don’t usually cook. I usually have to be rooked into cooking. Oh you should have seen the Thanksgiving dinner I just rescued from disaster. I have lost count of all the dinners and parties with food that I have attended and found the cook has fallen to pieces, and has no idea how to proceed, so I end up cooking because otherwise there would be NO food. And that was how this thanksgiving dinner went.
      I stayed up til 4AM making pies the night before. Check out my pies:
      The pie in the upper right corner is a special sugar-free gluten-free apple pear pie. My friend asked me to make her a special pie last year, no sugar. This year now she’s not eating gluten, so I had to make a gluten-free dough. That was a damn nightmare. The pie took about 3 damn hours to make.
      I got over to my friend’s house the next day and discovered that absolutely no cooking had been done. She’s a Gemini, typical that a Gem should be multitasking and have so many things going on that nothing gets done, nothing even gets started. So I basically cooked everything. Thanksgiving dinner on me (yet again).
      And I guess that is how it should be. Time after time, I land in the midst of a kitchen disaster and straighten it all out. When Taurus is around, everyone eats well. Bon appetit!

      • I don’t even like pies much and these are trippin’ fan-freakin-tastic-ola, Charles!

        Love it that you wouldn’t volunteer for the task, but get to be the Gastronomic Hero a la Leo (er, was it Rising or Moon?) by rescuing the freaked out cooks every time.

        • LOL, I have Leo rising. Since I’m not a Leo, I can use my leonic powers to “lead from the rear.” I don’t have to take the lead, I just have to mop up behind everyone and keep driving them forward.

          I looked again at that pic of my pies and was rather horrified. The pumpkin pies hadn’t cooled and are bulging ominously in the center. They looked much better after spending the night in the fridge. And the edge of the gluten-free pie is a bit burnt. If I had known this would happen, I would have put some foil around the edges during baking. And the handmade pie shell is not properly fluted around the edges. At least it looks rustic and handmade. I am sure I could do this better the next time, if I ever have the urge to spend 3 hours making a pie again.

      • LOL. I once ended up making a fondue from scratch with $70 worth of cheese because the Hostess had been puffing on wacky backy and was too paranoid to go into the kitchen. Had never made a fondue before and all I had was a recipe book from the 60’s, translated from the Swiss, by the way it read… Worked though… Who would have thought that cheese dissolves in wine ?!

        I’d LOVE to have a crack at a Thanksgiving… I fancy one of those enormous turkey fryers. A wonderful excuse to buy a gallon of Maple Syrup as well. YUM !

        In fact, I’m primarily a foodie and I’m good at following recipes (Virgo rising – good at details) – the only down-side is that I can’t bake or my entire family ends up the size of a house.

  2. I can cook. Occasionally I wear roller-skates/hotpants to do so.
    I once booked Billy Bragg to try and get back an ex. He was so happy he brought his girlfriend along. *wince*
    I have injured myself pretending to pole dance, drunk/drugged too much but that’s standard, right?
    I don’t have the tendeceny to lie. I either disappear in my own shyness or over compensate until I am impossible to be around:)

        • I do a disappearing act too. I’ve got Moon in 8th, but Neptune in 12th. Would the 12th also be the house of illusions and deceptions? I very seldom lie directly about myself, though if I’m with a group of people and the conversation is lacking I sometimes make up stories about things my friends or acquaintances have done. Otherwise I’ll shut up and say nothing, as I also have the tendency to be blunt and speak more truth than some people can handle in a casual setting.

          • Neptune in 12th could be about hidden imagination and creativity. I wonder if you use Neptune in 12th to make up stories about things, which is haute Neptune isn’t it? Check out what links it has to other planets. I have Neptune trine ASC which I’ve read as being imaginative/creative, deeply sensetive to other peoples feelings/them being hurt (also too romantic and idealistic in love, dang).

            Depending on which generation you were born, if it’s Neptune in Saggo then you’ve got Jupiter (ruling saggi) on the cusp of your 12th house, which, from what Ive read is nice: Jupiter linked to 12thH can indicate back/support others (I think). I’ve got the Moon in 10th, but I have Jupiter in Cancer in 12th and Cancer is ruled by the Moon.

            • Yep! Neptune in Saggo, rising in the 12th. So that makes Jupiter my chart ruler, from what I understand. The story telling is never with malicious intent, so yes, I will say that’s very haute Neptune. :) It’s always as a tactic of adding imaginative detail to an otherwise boring conversation.

              My Neptune squares Saturn in Virgo in the 8th and trines Jupiter in Leo (also in the 8th).

    • 8O

      That is fantastic!

      Also Venus had me in hysterics yesterday – I injured my shoulder from laughing so much – SEE how AMAZING venus a -go-go is! :D

  3. “I love you”, after a pause of a few seconds when he said it first.


    Scorpio. That alone should have warned him. Sagg Venus.

    I don’t tend to lie about anything external eg. age, accomplishments etc but feelings? Don’t ask ;)
    I never said we were nice.

      • I’m not proud, it wasn’t nice, but I probably wouldn’t have gotten any otherwise. And yes, we all do rotten things when we are young. Youth, wasted, etc. Although I didn’t waste THAT particular youth …..

      • Oops! I’m guilty of that one too. Almost forgot, lol. Agree with the “don’t ask if you don’t REALLY want to know” approach. ;)

    • tati, work that Venus in Sag next time by making a joke out of it, e.g., when the dude says he’s fallen for you or some such, ask if they make anything like the nicotine patch for the condition. This way you don’t have to reciprocate with an insincere “love you too,” while at the same time not having to diss the dude’s feeling.

  4. Don’t lie about anything. No need to. If anything i tend to blurt out the truth. Radical candor all the way. They either fancy me or they don’t. I don’t give a shit.

    Moon in Saggo. Cap Asc.

  5. Never. Scorpio with Aries rising + stelium of Sag = will not chase. I’ll quietly lure in a steadfast way but they have to come to me, always. It’s part of the thrill and they either like me or they don’t (partly why I’ve love the Leos, so brazen). I might be mean or tease, like an 8 year old boy in the playground punching a girl in the arm but that’s about it.

    Sadly it backfires on me, I’ve made it look like I don’t care a little too much, a little too often so I guess that falls into the bracket of lying.

  6. The only thing I’ve ever really lied about is having a boyfriend….and thats when I get “unwanted” attention. Other than that, I don’t tend to talk unless I have something to contribute to the convo, or they come to me first.

    -Cancer Sun/Cap ASC
    -Moon/Lilith in Virgo-8th
    -5th house Gemini Venus

  7. That I care about cars and football. I don’t care for EITHER. (I was very young at the time. I also had long hair because boys like girls with long hair better.) I am a sun scorp, libra mostly and a dash of sagg.

  8. Double Virgo (rising and sun). Lying is bad for my constitution. It makes me a bit dull, perhaps, but there you have it: I cannot tell a lie. Actually, that quality makes me pretty interesting sometimes. LOL!

    • Same! I can’t lie successfully. I’ve tried of course, to no good end.

      Very bad for ME when I lie. And life is unpredictable for those close to me, even those who aren’t:D

      I could, literally, say anything

      Although I make strenuous efforts not to cause harm to others. I will just be quiet if I think my words will be lethal

  9. I generally do not lie to others, except white lies I am forced to do like when a boss says “How’s my new hair?” and you know it looks fugly. I’ll say something like “that really brings out your curls”…but only if it’s true. I try to find something good/true and direct attention to that and away from the original question. sneaky i know.

    But yes, I tell *myself* “lies” all the time…like “things will be ok” when I’m not sure. Or “Somebody will love you for you” when I have never experienced such a thing and have never seen it in action. I tell myself lots of shit when I am in a dark place so I’ll keep moving and not stay there. What is that saying? Fake it until you make it?

    But I’m a Libra so white-lies are the norm here.

  10. Mystic, curious that you bring this subject up, this is the second time in as many days when I have been asked what nonsensical name-dropping I’ve ever told. The person asking – who admitted he’s done a lot of it – has Sun, Venus, Mars conjunct in Gemini. Dullsville me couldn’t come up with any similar antics. Obviously I need to expand my repertoire of seduction techniques.

  11. Weird to say now that you’ve made me think about it but I’m not usually the one who lies. Instead, I’m the one who’s lied too. But not for long as I ALWAYS find out one way or another. Lol! Maybe that’s where the subterfuge plays in? You know, in finding out the truth by all means possible? Scorpio Sun, Mercury, Venus and Neptune.

    • Yeah. Typical of us Scorps. I think that’s partly why I don’t bother because I presume everyone else is as good as us at hunting out the truth, I often get there before the other person even realises they did it. It’s not arrogance it’s just taking suspicion to another level!

      • Lol exactly Charley! I don’t lie out of being an honest person. I don’t lie out of my own self interest. Besides, it’s exhausting.

  12. My old repertoie : after several drinks and flirting I come off like a big seductress but it’s really just a lie. I am actually very inept.

    • The booze crutch, I don’t think that counts and I’m pretty sure we ALL do it to a certain extent!

  13. Lying is not something I can do with ease but transforming is. (Virgo sun ascendant,Pisces moon &venus in Scorpio. For example I’ve eaten bad food,drank unfiltered water ,used unclean towels and have ah shared a toothbrush all bc I believe that the power of my love will keep me free from disease lol. Normally I’m so annoyingly anal about these basic things that when it’s over I revert right back so ya kinda a lie

  14. do chicks usually have to lie to nail a guy? not sure how it roles for the boys on here but most dudes are just grateful you are responding I find

    I have lied, correction, played, a fair few dudes to get away from me however. When I was young and getting heavily sleazed and no is only seen as wait until a few drinks later I sometimes would get into character and pretend that I was the daughter of a very christian minster and I the ever loving youth group leader, who was very involved with church activities in such a tone that I could of at any moment thrust several pamphlets from my handbag with stick figures illustrating what happens when you die. I would insist that this ‘kooky’ (or similarly shit adjective) get up was my way of expressing myself but my heart really belongs with the lord jesus christ.

    could not get away faster.

    • I think I would get more play if I did lie. I look around and seems like the liars have more fun.

    • Absolutely.

      I love your story.

      I used the lesbian excuse, and would have a grand demonstration of making out with my stand by (best friend) having “discovered myself”. Got me out of so many awkward situations. yes, I was a jerk.

      • My Pisces best friend and I had that arrangement in high school. No actual making out happened, but at the first sign of a sleazy guy approaching either of us, we’d start playing with each other’s hair and making affectionate goo-goo eyes and kissy faces. Worked most of the time, with the only drawback being that occasionally the sleazy guy would want to “watch” or join in a threesome. :P

        • I built my christian nutter character for this exact reason, i was with girls and predominantly at the time and was getting sleazed onto for it, trying to protect myself from this ‘can I watch’ crap as the kind of people you are trying to rid are the ones that associate girl on girl with sloppy finger job hair flick acrylic nail porn. its actually insulting when you are with women and you have these sad and desperate “bisexual” attention whores cracking onto you. One of only times I have ever wanted to punch another woman out in a club was because they were trying it on for male attention.

          • Yep, that sounds very familiar. Luckily, being a Scorpio, I had no problem with playing the jealous protective lover. No sharing allowed!

    • I have a fake phone number I have perfectly memorised so I can give it out without a beat of hesitation as to give the game away. I think I must have given this number to about two dozen or more icky icky creepy men and also a trannie who wanted me to start a political party with her. One day, on telling a friend about this, she insisted we call the number and see if it was connected… It was, and the poor woman who answered seemed really sweet and when friend said ‘oh sorry, wrong number’, she said ‘that’s ok, it happens a lot!’… NO LIE.
      I have ruined my karma haven’t i…?

      • hehe. er, you are not over here masquerading as a vixen called “sarah” by any chance Lex? cause this actually happened tonight. How is this for merc retro AND post appropriate:

        >text from unknown number
        “had a really great time last night. had no idea you were so flexible?? hope we can do it again sometime xxx

        me> um who is this? think you might have the wrong number doll

        he> its _______ is that sarah

        me> no its ______ and was def not flexing with you last night, though I am flexible. just not with you, and not last night.

        he> lol. this is the number she punched in my phone. oh well, her loss hey

        me> yes, there are many bendy girls in the sea

        he> thanks! and er sorry if I caused any offense

        sarah. you naughty girl. some poor boy is pining for you. and you gave him my number. tisk

      • That was MY number, damn you Lex!

        Explains all those booty texts at 3 am, talking of wanting to get lost in my long honey hair (which is short and dark) and calls to the ‘wrong number’.

      • That makes me think of something….a bunch of different people keep calling my number looking for a “Jennifer”. Maybe *my* number is a “fake” one…LOLOLOLOL. It would be even more comical if it werent for the fact some of the people calling me are credit card companies. =__=

  15. Faking orgasms? (in my youth) does that count? then Im going straight to hell with all the other funsters

  16. I’m very particular to be nitpicky truthful when considering a relationship. After, when I start getting bored is when the untruths emerge. Like when there’s gushing about how they love me and I don’t care anymore, but know all the right responses. I plan entrances, middles and escapes, so till the escape is executed, I “nice” lie.

  17. 8O

    I’m actually completely oblivious when someone shows interest in me – I have no clue – until they are literally on top of me. That is when I usually lie and say ‘yeah of course I knew you were interested’ 8O 8O 8O

    Now get the hell off me! :lol: kidding! I’m into polygamy…

    Clearly, I have no idea how to play hard to get…

    • 8O

      And you can always tell when a Gem lies – they smile – it always gives me away, well that and laughing so much at trying to keep a straight face.

      See! Gems can’t keep a straight face – always a give away!

  18. ha ha ha ha ha! no. muahahaha!

    I can’t share my secrets. Let’s just say, in the past, I was a con artist. to quote Closer, lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off!

  19. Sagittarius, The Archer
    Element: Fire
    Mode: Mutable
    Archetypes: The Gypsy, The Student, The Philospher.

    It is not entertainment I am seeking. It is
    understanding. Understanding, understanding,
    & more understanding. I will stuff myself with
    it, sniff it up with every pore, cram it into every
    orifice. Someday it will pay off. Everything
    will fall into its proper place, & I will, at
    last, understand.

    Laurel Goldman

    The Symbol
    Not the archer but the arrow. Fingers quivering with tension, the marksman releases the taut string. The curve of the bow snaps back, sending the feathered shaft darting into space.

    The arrow. It flies faster than sight, whipping through the air, speeding towards the clouds. If it had eyes, it would see the archer’s form grow tiny, fading to an insignificant speck in the landscape laid out like a map, simple & schematic.

    If that arrow were suddenly given a mind, what thoughts would occupy it? Like a man on mountain peak, it would think thoughts of perspective & experience, driven by exuberance. Who fired me into this luminous sky & for what purpose? What is my place here? Where am I Going? What is the reason for my existence?

    NB: Notes on Sag from the book ‘The Inner Sky’ by Steven Forrest…

  20. Asking a multiple Sagg if they tell lies, one brought up by nuns
    who wore long habits, headpieces & gigantic wooden rosary beads???
    I wish.
    Don’t do flattery either & have sticky notes to remind me to compliment peeps
    as i rarely notice what they are wearing tho’ i have a fashion fetish myself.
    I wish.
    Lies to seduce?Nah, what you see is what you get.
    Of course there are universal truths, that which is true for everyone, and
    personal truths, totally variable according to the individual.
    Then there is mis-information and that creates a spanner in the works!

    O i just read Darrell above. Viola.

    • Hehe, I have that problem too. Flattery is actually work for me, something I have to remember to do as it doesn’t come naturally at all. If someone flatters me I flash a smirk and say a flat “thank you”, although most of the time I don’t buy it so I don’t take it seriously. Being around people who do flattery all the time is exhausting and a turn off.

  21. Sorry to re-post this but a relevance high point

    Liar , Liar

    I never tell the truth
    I never tell a lie
    Both of these are false
    So then what am I
    When I seek to gain a place
    When I need to save some face
    When I need to offer comfort
    When I need to myself comport
    What ’s been said or done
    While I’m having innocent fun
    What then later falls to me
    When I land on bended knee
    What had passed in the loaded night
    What is gained in obscuring my plight
    Can I save it for later, when crisis past
    I’m doing penance, my truth ’s my fast
    ‘T will all come out when timing ‘s right
    But I need this now to fight my fight
    Surely you and all the others
    Are with me in this
    My penitent brothers
    And surely this, what some call sin
    Has put us all in a guilty spin
    For are lies are the armour
    and truth the sword
    Until all knowledge
    Is then fore-poured
    I can explain
    This is my troth
    But damage done
    For one and both


  22. Never lied to seduce, not interested in ever lying to seduce! Meh

    Toro sun, Gem rising, Aqua moon

  23. Well I am an Amazing Cook and I’m not afraid to tell people.
    But I’m terrible at trying to impress potential suitors so perhaps I should try lying more. I have the first house stellium to end all stelliums so I tend to think, well, look at me, why would I need to lie? ;-)
    But clearly I need a new game plan, so please do fess up peeps, I’m taking notes.
    The only thing I can confess to is drawing a certain charming someone’s attention to the fact I have very big feet. I really do. I have HUGE feet. wink wink nudge nudge say no more.

    • My once beloved had Neptune in the 1st and bless him I could always tell when he was lying, so transparent. Some innate scorp bs detector I was born with. This was before I boned up on all the body language stuff too.
      He would always rub his nose like crazy, dead giveaway. I called him on it once, and his mouth gaped in disbelief.

      Lexi I think you’re a blast- a total catch, obv
      Jesus AND Saturn whoa. Thems skills :D X

  24. i’ve been a secret society all my life ‘all because’… Saturn 12th…so i will never tell who i’ve met or drop names or where i’ve been or what i’ve done, no matter how ‘fabulous’ it might or might not be to tell all…not even when off my head, which does amaze me that i’ve always been able to keep myself nicely sealed in that 12th house no matter what personal challenges… to ridiculously boast tho, saturn does very closely sex up my sun hahahaha, when it doesn’t wop my bottom bigtime that is…

    ..i do enjoy the occasional ego trip of having that ‘mystery’ aura when not feeling burdened by the seriousness of keeping hermetically sealed about many things…

    seriously tho, i’ve come to realise what i hide from others i also hide from myself which truly does freak me out somedays – a lot – i must admit :)

    • I think 12th house may have a lot to do with NOT name-dropping and keeping secrets. I have Jupiter (& Nept) there and when I eventually do say something amazing that I’ve done or someone I met it’s all “OMG/WOW/REALLY?!? You’re a dark horse.” Others have no idea. Think it’s been about me not wanting to be in the spotlight and yet encouraging others to venture out.

      • Hi The Empress, WOW…Jupiter and Neptune in the 12th house..double WOW…i’ve read just quickly that Neptune in 12th can give great strength and psychic abilities, (isn’t Neptune in 12th the ‘best’ dignified house for Neptune?) and Jupiter, great compassion and fortunate help if in need…

        With Jupiter and Neptune together in that house, i’m thinking obviously there’s a lot more to it than the surface of things – that would indeed take some individual figuring out and real self-knowledge – way beyond superficial assumptions, i’m so guessing?… what with Neptune being so higher truth & beauty/yet also mysterious/undefined/unknowable, and the largess/benefic factor of Jupiter – not to mention what is on the other side of your chart in terms of aspects and signs…but i imagine you are, yes, very much ‘The Empress’…v.v. nice for you sounds, but with the gifts of it, i’m guessing you’ve had to embrace some learnings and overcome some challenges too?

        The 12th house is such a mystery place, seems to me that it operates a bit trans-reality like too, and yet in my experience and conclusions so far it has also coloured and shaped so very much of my life, it’s paradoxical in that way, hidden but powerful and overt, have you found this too Empress?

        Yes, i don’t fancy spotlight either, prefer one on one or small groups, unless of course peeps i know well, then i have a ball in large groups, but as a child and young woman i was a v.v.timid mousey.

      • I’ve got 3 planets in the 12th (including my chart ruler) and I’ve never felt the need to name-drop either (as I mentioned earlier). I think planets in water houses or signs do tend to shy from the limelight. And also… I hate being put on the spot about anything, because it turns out someone always hates me for it (moon/lilith in the 8th I suppose?).

        • three planets and chart ruler in 12th, SP, sounds full of intrigue & wonderful mastery/mystery/powers to be explored and lived out…spesh with moon and lilith in 8th, i can only guess tho! :)

          yah agree…spots are such limiting, awkward places to be stranded on, even temporarily…and yeh, me too, sometimes, with peeps not liking honest/blunt/complex responses when they want conforming/nice/simple answers to their questions…

          with my merc opp jup and then sqaures uranus and pluto (can be deeply destructive/hurtful with my cut to quick/stick the knife in – kind of opinions/thoughts/words)… i learnt/resolved a long time ago, i think, to respect peeps feelings more than my need to be ‘right’ or tell what i really think or worse still ‘know’ in some situs…spesh when i realise they have v.diff values or are more feeling/sensitive types or telling them something i know/heard, will not help them but only do more harm or shock them etc.

  25. Have not lied to seduce, that would be weird, but I have told a couple of lies just for fun… I have a tail-bone that protrudes slightly and I told someone that I was actually born with a tail, not as long as a dogs, but still a couple of inches, of course my parents had it amputated to spare me embarrassment hee hee. They bought it and proceeded to tell someone else! I fessed up then. I also have an unusual scar on my arm from an inoculation I received as a child when we were living in Indonesia, when asked about it, I said it was a stab wound…again I fessed up after they believed me :) Sun in Sag, Leo Asc, Cap Moon, Merc in Scorpio

    Blessings, Jac

  26. “I’m so done with f*cking girls, and their f*cking games, dude. Lets just go out and have a guy’s night.” Gets other (usually) straight guy toasted drunk, and after having a intense moment/ saving his life, we go back to my place. Never fails.

    Sun in Gemini 5, Moon in Aries 3, Aqua Rising

      • Plus intoxicants and diminished ability to consent. This gives me the creeps, and I doubt I’m the only one.

          • Yeah, well come talk to me when society tells you that loving the person that you love is illegal/immoral/destroying the country, not to mention discriminated against/stereotyped beyond recognition/picketed at military funerals.

          • I sincerely want to know how getting a guy “toasted drunk,” i.e., reducing his consciousness to be effectively null, does not eliminate the “target’s” ability to consent? Please, can you explain?

            • Having both been sexually assaulted (involving police, hospitals etc) and having had my drink spiked to the point of being unconscious (more police, hospitals etc) i am not insensitive to your points inchbyinch.

              However i did not fel that Jago was inferring such a situation. I took it as being more like how certain “happily married men” can suddenly begin to complain about the lack of fulfilment in their happy marriage, after a few drinks.

              Again, if i thought any commenter was referring to anything other than sex between consenting adults, it would have been moderated. But i did not get that from the comment although i respect that you did.

              • Hi Mystic, I enjoy your blog and scopes and posts, however I strongly disagree with your interpretation of the initial comment, and I’d like to request that you take the thread down. Clearly, people are getting upset.
                PS: In your last paragraph you wrote sex between non-consenting adults, don’t you mean if the commenter was referring to anything other than consenting adults you would have shut it down?

              • I’m sorry you had to go through that too, Mystic, and I truly hope you’ve healed.

                If anything I’m activist and possibly outspoken about this stuff in the interests of prevention. Unfortunately, the majority of assaults are by acquaintances, and to me it’s not clear from the original comment that his partners were in a fit state to consent.

                I appreciate that you haven’t pulled the thread too, and I don’t think it does any harm for people to hear both sides so they can make up their own minds.

            • I shall say no more, except to say that is heavy stuff you had to endure, Mystic. How strong you are to have survived being treated so wrongly.

              • thank you and if i thought Jago was referring to such things it would not here. But actually, imo, ‘toasty’ drunk or whatever is like 2nd glass of wine starting to burble on about Jung or how you would run the government. Maybe that’s just me.

                Virgo Librarian, again i clearly have some experience of sexual assualt etc and i am obviously against abuses of human rights. But i am not interpreting Jago’s comments as indicating such.

                More that some of his companions are not comfortable being out or bi or whatever without a few drinks. Do you really think that if “unconsciousness” or non consent was involved that he would be putting it on this website?

        • I think your overplaying that one UV. It actually made me laugh because it’s amazing how many machos need a few drinks to allow their ‘other’ side to come out. Then of course if caught they claim alcohol poisoning or something . Don’t worry Jago not everyone has taken offence.

          • Jeez I did not expect this to get so huge! Thank you @Mystic for putting up with this, and sharing. you’re right, thats not what i was saying at all.

            @InchbyInch- Im in college, and it just… i dont know it kind of happens that way. besides, in the gay world nothing is allowed to happen on the surface, everything is a game. The guys im attracted to take a little work, and you need to build up some pretext. Everything is consensual. At no point do I ever cross that boundary. Yeah, ive been hit before, and gotten my ass kicked a few times, but thats all the way it goes down.

            Also thanks @BaristaGem and @davidl for sticking up for me.

          • Agree! I took it as just another outrageous, funny story – the kind of story that many people share in this space.

                • yes it made me think fondly of some of my “chardonnay lesbian” mates LOL! No WAY are they GAY…until…

                  And yes mystic so true re married men. Same thing. No WAY would they stray because their life is so perfect but well, you know…

                  i think this is also a generation thing. my last b.f was gen Y (i am generation x) and some of the stuff he would come out with stunned me. he was without sexual, racial or anything bias -the product of a feminist mother and politically correct schooling but these guys watch a LOT of porn!

          • I didn’t take it that way either. I was thinking more like Mystic’s idea of ‘toasty’ drunk. Great that others can disagree though and be heard. Much respect to all of Mystic’s commenters x

            Thanks to Mystic too for your honesty. xx

      • And i actually can cook, pretty freaking awesome at it if i do say so myself.

        Backed up by Jupiter in Cancer conjunct Ceres in the 6th

    • We’re not all going to agree on this, which is no surprise. For my part, I’ve seen far too much of the other side of the equation, where someone goes out for drinks with someone they believe trustworthy, has too many and the next thing you know has that person all over them and is too incapacitated to get themselves out of it, let alone process what is going on. Some people can laugh it off, which is fine and good luck to them, but for others it opens up a whole world of pain, and I promise you I’m dealing with people who are struggling with the physical and mental health affects of what some of you read as a bit of innocuous sex play. Sometimes they are severely affected for years or decades. And if they were to take the case to court, they have all kinds of difficulty proving non consent.

      If you ran Jago’s story past any rape counsellor, they would have the same problems with it that I do.

      Jago, if someone isn’t ready to come out of the closet sober, they’re not ready to come out.

      Toasted drunk in American parlance is very drunk, as in blind.

      Also, the finer points of sexual consent are a conversation we NEED to have, and particularly with teenagers. If we understand how to negotiate sexual boundaries better, there’d be a whole lot less pain in the world.

      • UV I know that in your work you meet damaged people every day. It must be difficult to hear the stories of people who have been abused or taken advantage of and the issues that causes. I understand your sensitivity. What I find unnecessary though is to accuse someone of criminal behaviour when it was pretty clear that that was not the energy or intention of the story. You misunderstood. There is a big space between criminal intent and innocent fun, and young people do stretch the boundaries. I think your comments are more more a reflection of your world than his.

      • Whoa! I tend to agree with Jago and those who were not offended by his story. In a college environment drinking is usually how people are opened up to new experiences, which they might otherwise not have attempted. I had my first girl-girl moment in a similar situation, with a good friend of mine in college. Yes, it was strange and awkward, but nothing that I regret. We both had fun and helped the other experience something new and different.

        I also have to disagree with you UV, on how Americans understand the word “toasty”. To my knowledge being “toasted” means being only slightly affected by alcohol. In NO way do I understand it to mean blind to the point of having no sense of what is happening to you. To that extent you’d be “bombed”, “trashed” or “wasted”. Being toasty is very mild by comparison.

        • I know this thread has kinda long passed but I have been thinking a bit about it and have to comment here.

          ‘Toasted’ is not ‘toasty’. Sort of amazing how these words were swapped. At no stage did I think Jago got his ‘man’ mildly pissed and loose talkin after a few drinks. I took toasted to mean ‘off your head’ basically. Urban dictionary agrees:

          “Extremely intoxicated, fucked up, wasted, drunk off your ass, etc.”

          There is no way that my counselor would let Jago’s story pass as just friendly college fun. He had intent to take advantage. I can’t see it any other way. Also, just a wee comment on alcohol – our drug of acceptance – getting ‘toasted’ is many things including a right of passage. But ultimately you have fuck all control of anything that is going on let alone what the fuck this guy is doing kissing you and feeling you up. And the next moring you can hardly remember a thing. All in all I don’t count that as consent.

      • I guess each has to decide whether getting juiced to the point of doing something you regret is your fault or another’s. Trusting the world to be nice? I don’t think so…

        Bad happens and we must learn from it to be wiser. I know it sounds like typical Ariean insensitivity, but you accept it, learn from it and get over it. What’s the alternative? Wallowing? Staying in pain the rest of your life?And yes, I’ve been assaulted, hospitals, police and all. I determined at the time (13 years of age) not to ever let it affect me negatively, or bad wins. I was high and out late and not dressed primly. I learned.

    • And if I might quote this stat from livingwell.org :

      1 in 6 men have experienced sexual assault and 70% of them have never told anybody.

      • So your basically saying that Jago sexually assaulted someone ? thats a big call.
        Or is it just something that you want to talk about ?

        • I’m not saying he sexually assaulted anyone. I’m saying consent is problematic when people are intoxicated, and particularly when ‘toasted’.

          If you read my comments you’ll see I didn’t accuse him of anything. I was and still am uncomfortable with the scenario he’s talking about because I know how people can be harmed in such situations, and may never admit their misgivings or pain to the person who took advantage. I made the comment because I felt Jago needed to know some of us don’t find it funny, or even something to be flippant about.

          It’s a difference of opinion and outlook, not an accusation.

  27. Hmmm, good question. I don’t lie to seduce so much – not like those guys who say they’re shipping out to Afghanistan on a special mission the next morning but i imply that i have a LOT more interest in whatever their thing is than i do.

    Like that politics/cricket/cars/wrestling fascinates me. And that i throw incredible dinner parties. I lie more when trying to convince some guy that i am ideal official girlfriend.

    Lie that works every time – i bit like Jago – “I hate relationships, i’m only interested in sex, seriously dude, no strings attached, I’m like a nymphomanic with committment phobia, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, maybe i need to see a shrink or something…”

  28. That I actually like to clean the house. (yuh know, to appear more feminine or some_thing like that)

  29. Is exclusion of information a lie ? I think ‘not’ telling certain things is far more effective than lies. hehe

        • and piscean. but super not lying in their books, every pisces I know lives by that code. slippery fish. x

          • Personally, i hate “clever” omission and i call it LYING. It amazes me how many people claim it isn’t a lie because it wasn’t spoken. Oh OK wait til i sense it then… the outcome is the same. Never vibed with this piscean trait. The “cleverness” makes it extra pungent to me, the presumption of your own smarts against someone else’s stupidity. Disrespectful.

    • erk. don’t get me started on that old doozey.
      it bit me hard.
      my exclusion of information was later liberally branded a lie of the worst kind, part of my ‘false advertising’. Seriously, if anyone pulls the ‘you were false advertising’ card on you, run like a saggitarian … so says the saggi rising :?

  30. I reckon guys lie more in order to get their rocks off.
    Best bull I ever heard was from a Bull actually – Taurus Sun, Libra moon, Gem venus.

    I was walking home after seeing a band. I was on a high and didn’t want the night to end. My friends tried to talk me into driving me home but I insisted I wanted to walk. Love walking home after a great night out.

    So half way home, this cute Toro guy stopped me on the street and said “you want to come to a party with me?” I asked where and he said “just down the road”
    My moon in Saggo loves an adventure and he was hot so I said “Sure..”
    We get to his place and there was nobody there, so I said “where is everyone?” He says “when I said party, I meant between you and me” :razz: Brilliant!!
    In the morning as I was getting dressed to leave, I saw a rabbit hopping around the place. Though I was hallucinating but it was his pet rabbit. One of the best nights I’ve ever had. :)

  31. Um. The people whose approval I wanted wouldn’t approve of lying. Pity.
    Being a Leo Gem Rising I could imagine it would be fun.

    If lying is acting like I think I am hot sh!t, then I guess I did that when I was young. Can cook, never occurred to flaunt that as a card. I thought guys just wanted sex. Saggi on the DC, doh!

  32. Good at keeping secrets – especially other peoples. I assume everything that’s told to me privately is well private. Which is funny cause Gemini’s are supposed to love gossip and I’m seriously not a fan. As for lying I’m struggling to think of anything. I guess I’ve lied by omission but eventually anything I want someone to know they will. At times I have to reign in my desire to say how I really feel (depends who I am talking to).

    One thing I have noticed re lusting over someone. If I like said person I become distant. Like too cool for school or something. What the??? Apparently this is an Aqua thing. Would love to know if other Aqua’s do this or other peeps have had experiences with Aqua’s doing this. It’s like the opposite of a hunky doorstop lol. Again WTF?!?

    • I have aqua moon & I do this! I don’t know why, I just go to the other extreme & find myself unable to say hello/ pretend I don’t see the person/totally ignore them, you name it. I feel as though it’s totally obvious I like them so I go to another extreme. Juvenile of me…

    • yep. my last aqua lover is trying it on again, gets way to cool for school. always bites him though with me cause I am never available when he gives me no notice on his evening plans and then gives me an hours notice just to say he is in the hood, but then sends me 20 texts in the process to check movements like i will actually show up in time. its all so planned though. hilarious.

  33. Oh shit, I lie when it serves me. lol Which is sometimes more frequent than other times.

    My most used ‘lie’ though, is pretending I don’t know something, or that I don’t remember. Than they tell me what they think or know. Or they leave me alone about it. I do it rather a lot.

    I don’t know why. ha-ha

    Sun, Mars, Mercury, all in Cancer, 4th house
    Aries rising
    Leo moon, 6th house
    Venus in Taurus, 2nd house

  34. When it comes to a potential dude, if anything, I tend to lie to appear less capable/intelligent/aware than I am – think this is mostly due to shyness/self-doubt re attractiveness? However, being Cap Sun, Pisces ascendent, may have something to do with it – no matter how I try there’s often a tad of Piscean “ambiguity” for want of a better word (didn’t want to say “sleaze” outright!).