The People We Used To Be

Filed in Sagacious

Marc Chagall

“I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends…”

Joan Didion via Saturn Rising

Wow, so i LOVE this quote.  Don’t know if i agree with it but it’s provocative, yes?

She’s Sun-Moon-Venus in Saggo with Crab Rising. Interesting blend.

Emo intelligence of Kataka Rising with that questing mind of  the Archer?

33 thoughts on “The People We Used To Be

  1. One of my favorite essayists. I was surprised to find out that she was a Sagg. I had assumed from her bone-dry prose she wasn’t a Cap.

  2. Thats great. Its true, like a ‘never forget where you came from’ type thing.
    Think i had one of those yesterday. Hate moon in Toro, in my 12th house and i get all sooky and emo. Didnt really nod at it, but I did acknowledge.

    The last two days i been crazy aggro, emo and psycho all in the same hour..What the fuck is going on.??

  3. I love that quote. That’s why I journal so i can keep in touch with that person i used to be.

  4. I agree with this sentiment. One must be at peace with past lives, existences. (Past lives in current waking life that is, can’t speak for the other other ones.) once can gracefully rise above but its all about not pretending, i think? owning your history?

  5. Being Kataka rising I so get that quote. Love how the old us comes creeping up in the night, usually after a nightmare or bad dream. Like that song Fragile Bird, great time to ambush you lol.

    Reason with it, roll over and go back to sleep & keep pheonixing.

  6. I can identify with this quote so much. Word for word. The person I used to be is not the person I am now. I just hope I can share the current me with soeonewho is well deserving.

  7. Brilliant thinking! And so very Sagg/Cancer. Sentimentality meets ever-evolving philosophy. I love it!

  8. MMM have been face to face with my shadow the last 3 weeks missing the person
    i USED to be and really want her back, but alas the ‘moving finger writes, and having
    writ moves on’. But to what she muses and is it all behind me instead of infront or is
    that just age talking.
    Wondering why i can’t channel or visualise like i did before. Before what…Winter and
    the dark night of the soul. Wondering where my healing skills went.
    Has anyone seen them, if so please send them home.
    Perhaps it’s the middle age thingo, where vibrations are slowed. That’s an easy answer
    if i want to accept it, but being dragged kicking, sceaming & rebelling all the way.
    A sure case of physician heal thyself. Unfortunatley, when one is in a healing crisis, all
    remedies known fly out the window.
    Pulled Anubis from the Egyptian Stones. Yup, says find a healer.
    Or an excorsist?

    • Vibration does not have to slow with age, your reality is what you choose to create, no?

      Sounds like you are going through a Tower, to put it in tarot terms, where everything you think you knew is torn down before you around you within you. Tower tends to destroy that which we hold dear and familiar and identify with but are not who we truly are, could be a clue?

      • Hi Ho Silver, a couple of threads ago was talk of ‘vibrational’ slowing down
        at mid-age. Easy to use an excuse, but yes, will sit quietly with the MotherPeace
        tarot and look deep.

        • How interesting, I think as a society we are just probably too used to associating “age” with “slowing down” e.g. minds slowing, bodies slowing and now vibration is a new one for me.

          I tend to view age as life getting better, more experience under one’s belt on what we desire, how to create it and how to better align ourselves with it and our highest states, after all don’t we say “you live and you learn”? ;)

          Hope you had a good conversation with MotherPeace.

      • yep my life has been one big tower all year – well could also be the “small” transit of saturn opposing my chiron & sun and uranus nudging on towards same sun/chiron. crumbling self, crumbling beliefs, life , reality.
        I know the feeling…and I am wondering if I will ever return to my old self.
        Or is this the new world order for mountaingirl???

        • It has been a Tower of a year for me too, Mystic mentioned I think it is a Pluto transit that is only going to be over near the end of this year and man am I feeling it! In a good way of course! Two of my favorite cards are Tower and Moon, for when I get them it is always more shedding of that which is not I.

          Not to say that the shedding is easy or fast, not always, though I find that cultivating the mindset that transformation, mild or major, is ALWAYS GOOD, definitely helps with the transitions, because what I do not fear, I do not fight and what I do not fight, I allow much easier, which then makes for a much better transformational experience overall. At least, that is always my goal ;)

          I actually told my partner in May after a particularly, shall I say, thorough transformation, that I do not recognize myself anymore. He had to agree. I had to learn to live with the new me LOL. Scary and I did not understand it initially but now I do and I am very appreciative. So New World Order may just be the thing you desire!

  9. Heh, so true. There is a lot to be said for grace and understanding when we leave an old skin. Most forms of thought that believe in evolving ask us to do the same as an omni present time thing so we are not so utterly bound up in an identity we must eventually grow from. Knowledge is like residue of experience, it lives in the blood.

    • ‘An identity we must eventually grow from’, that seems to sum up my
      uncomfortableness, a shedding perhaps is happening.

      • being plutonian with uranus I always get a very short notice memo on skin shed for the most part. Things that were golden shatter, and the new emerges. This astro seems fitting with said vibe. You will never loose your golden saggo glows just sometimes like winter the embers glow where fires used to be in times of great transformation so we can burn the outer in a light previously unseen. You are probably doing some insane restructuring and it’s been re directed so you can evolve into this new energy. Our perception of the past is always shinier and retrospect gives us insight to things we can’t see at the time, so sometimes we feel loss when its really a reminder to full throttle the now. I suffer from a certain romanticism so am coping by working with the immediate present energies and the relevance of the past will come as appropriate even if the skin was much loved. xx

          Coz just did tarot layout, first time in maybe year.
          My self card was The World,not upright as their are round, covered
          by 10 Swords, (10 Priestesses jumping into the ocean rather than submit
          to destructive Warriors) crossed by The Devil.
          My future was Shaman of Cups & this is what She had to say:
          Shamans represent power & experience. In trad pax they were Kings with the
          status & authority that implies. The Shaman works with trmenous powers, but
          does not seek power over others. Primarily power over self. Lack of fear is obvious in all Shamans faces, each propelled by the force of fire.
          Their fire is mainly influenced by MARS, which activates work energy & sex force.
          But they partake of the energies of JUPITER as well as the fire of expansion
          & benevolent warmth,, they no doubt invoke the lightneing fire of URANUS.
          Finally they incorporate the fire of the SUN, radiating confidence and well being
          in all directions.

          Hope you get to read this as instant weight loss for MY mind.
          And it said what you said :-)
          Humbly yours

  10. Wonderful! And the image refers to ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream” – my favourote Shakesparean play!- Such an insightful critique of the superficialirty of romantic love (Helena has the best lines in the play re this) and going into the forest – the unconscious – an associated chaos.

    And Theseus IS Saturn in that play. Low/unbalanced Saturn…

  11. Totally agree with this quote, for we cannot ever be rid of anything, all of our past selves never leave us, they simply become reflections within ourselves of the contrast we once experienced, I think.

    I do know however that trying to reject any part of ourselves never works. It is impossible. Even the worst parts. The new mantra should not be to “overcome” our blocks and demons, but to accept, love, understand, integrate and synthesize everything that we are, light and dark, good or bad, into that which we truly are, for we chose to experience everything that we are.

    Contrast is not “not us”.

    To push something away only gives it more power, so of course it will return “at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends…” LOL

    • Love your thinking Silver. Spot on. We are ourselves – dealing with our past does not mean abandoning it but integrating it. Didion’s idea of the 4am caller is also so true.

  12. Maybe its my Gemini Venus then that recoils at the idea, because I have a Cancer Stellium and I get this, but I still don’t wanna do it. Maybe re-reading old entries of my journal will help. :)

    • Now there’s a hint for me: to read 15 old journals IF i can decipher them
      as written in stream of conciousness, ie: s c r a w l e d & sometimes only
      5 lines on one page.
      Jeez my Virgoan Mars loves paper pens rulers rubbers & pens :-)

  13. Oh how I love Joan Didion – I love her even more now I’ve found out she has the same sun/rising signs as me! Wonderful quote.

  14. I have to say that I feel I’ve brought all my past beings with me, I love them, I – and they – did the best we could at the time and if I disown those parts of me from the past, I disown my life. I may well not know where I was going for most of it, but I had a hell of an adventurous time along the way so I think my past selves are probably quite pleased with what I – and they – achieved.

  15. We are always who we used to be until we become who we are, freed of the past patterns and fully present to the present. This is a life’s work for those with of the heart of a warrior and the courage to face all one’s fears. Most of us who are still in the clutches of the limited and limiting ego spend our time energies trying to preserve the facade of who we think we are, who people want us to be. Until we relinquish the masks that we wear to be a part of normal society, we are caught in the trap not of our own devices, but of our tacit agreement. We can never become who we are if we aim to please others and support the status quo. We can only be who we are when we are free…from attachments, desires, needs, when we are content to BE and let Life live us….lead us, or otherwise be still and silent, accepting of what is….as it is, knowing that change is the only unchanging and this too shall pass.

  16. Selfhood deserted and new self wrestling in
    Having the crap midlife transit past few months of saturn opposing my chiron & sun and uranus nudging on towards same sun/chiron.
    crumbling self, crumbling beliefs, life loves and reality.
    I am wondering if I will ever return to my old self.
    Or is this the new world order for this mountaingirl???
    Don’t know who the me is anymore.

  17. I’ve recently come into possession of some pics of myself as a teen and as a child. I’ve only ever had about 2 of myself ever so it fills out the picture of the person I’d forgotten I could be. weird!

  18. I just received a one week late birthday gift and in the card it said “may the best of your past be the worst of your future”….. and then I came online and read this. Everything, for me, at the moment seems like some past-future limbo.

  19. love Moon in Taurus. Have had amazing text and phone sex the past two nights.