Stepfording

Filed in Sun Sign Survey

The Stepford Wives

 

If you have not seen the classic original, see it. It’s amazing.

Here is the question: Have you ever been a Stepford Wife, Husband, Partner…whatever?

And if so, what is your Sun Sign, what was the transit and how did you break the spell?

Also, do you know anyone who you think is Stepfording now?

41 thoughts on “Stepfording

  1. Lots of people have a little stepford in them right now. The places, holes in themselves stuck, waiting to be filled up, terrified they won’t be seen, heard, loved, appreciated for themselves but the transformation starts courageously within.

    A woman came into the shop I work and she was acting stepfordy and wearing a straw hat.

  2. A cousin accused me of being a Stepford wife when I expressed my desire to be a happy, joyful stay-at-home mother when I eventually get married. I actually took offense to that. Just because I want to be a stay-at-home mother doesn’t mean I’m brain-dead.

    I haven’t seen the original but I did see the awful remake (so sad that it was awful, since it had Libra Roger Bart in it and he could charm the pants off of me any time he wanted, age difference no matter.)

    • Bright, trust me the pay offs from being a stay-at-home-mother can be endless and pure joy. BUT it may not seem so at the time. While I loved being a SAHM, there was always the pull of “what if”, “why didn’t I” – it was a huge polarity in my life at the time. It was always going to be an inner battle with me being a high achiever at school/uni etc and my hb so career focussed, but in the end I listened to my heart for a change (Kataka Moon/Mars in 5th). My kids are now 11 and 13 and the payoffs are huge – both happy well-adjusted and high achievers – just great kids and I look forward to spending time with them all the time. My marriage didn’t make it as hb was always $ focussed and resented the fact I went with my heart (even though we were insanely well off due to his income) and I yearned for a deeper connection with someone. Four plus years on after our split we are friends again and I suspect he is becoming aware of the value of my input in those early years as our kids are going from good to great in all areas. I can’t emphasise enough the importance of those early years. I am not anti-working mothers at all BUT the most important factor is that the child has a stable, loving carer at all times. I despair that some parents have no choice….

      And haahaha, i did do the Stepford thing for awhile and used to know many a classic Stepfords, still do, just don’t go there. omfg, now you’re really taking me back MM ! I was the hair straightening/perfect gym body/right clothes, parties, food, Stepford – fuqing scary and psychotic, exhausting actually. Thank fuq for evolution i say. And MM astro and therapy.

      • hey feline, i was happy to read that your split with hubby is not a complete loss and he is coming round to your way of thinking (in a sense). well done on raising normal well adjusted kids…

        • Thankyou UP! Some things really take time to be fully realised (Saturn?). All I really know is this: I am so deeply satisfied by our children and cannot not love their father (if that makes sense). Actually thinking @ us and our story makes me very certain that it is a Saturn Story. The ties that bind etc. I have only lately considered grandchildren – but that is at least 20 years away – yet it made me hang onto their early childhood library, when i am in the habit of giving away everything. I guess one of my favourite memories is reading to my kids – we stilll break out in prose from favourite authors when life triggers memories…..

      • I’m not at all anti-working mom – my mother was a single mother, busted her butt, and I am so incredibly proud of her. I just know that I receive so much joy from “simple” domesticity. My heart glows when a baby rests her head on my shoulder and just looks up at me. I love quiet moments when baby is napping and there’s a breeze and the house is full of love and peace. That’s what I want for me.

  3. I know so many Stepfords, I cannot possibly count them unless I count by 10s. I was probably more like the protagonist in the original. I felt like I always got blank stares when I spoke, like I/they spoke different languages or were on different wavelengths. Plus I barely got out alive!

    Actually, this has always been a terrifying movie for me and hideously powerful. I especially love the scene you selected as the photo.

    • My friends from Suburbia (the ones I’ve kept, and who were more off-beat) are mostly Taurus, Aries, Cancer, Scorpio, and Sagittarius.

      I’m Virgo sun, Leo rising, Cap moon.

    • My relatives are pretty Stepford and I am the giant freak from hell.

      I know too many people who want a Stepford life.

  4. Is it wrong?!! I like Nicole Kidman movies. Think she is great, loved the remake..

    I can be stepford but do not look like that while doing it hahah still have pjs on etc when lil Aries was a bub. But dinner was on the table.. Dont think My Libra Husband liked that…. The saggi in me, I am wild I dont need make up or perfect hair

  5. Hhhmm never been a Stepford. Maybe that’s my problem? Lol! I’m going to get some flack I’m sure but I’ll hazard to say that Libras and Caps are most prone to the affliction.

    • Maybe with some Virgo perfectionism thrown in there too? I’ve never seen the movie, but the stereo-typical 1950′s housewife character comes to mind. I don’t think all the Scorpio would allow me to be a Stepford, even if my Virgo Moon might occasionally want to fuss over things being “just so”. I could even see myself going to the grocery store in a sundress and summer hat. (Not sure about that one with the bare back and the plunging ruffled neckline…Cancer maybe?) I’d do it to be an individual though, so I’d be very pissed off if I showed up only to find a dozen other women all in the same outfit!

  6. i had a weird phase when i first got married and i cant actually remember what i was wigging out about but it was domestically oriented and totally neurotic like abt dishes or something which is unlike me and i felt like i was possessed due to the unlike me~ness of it ~ it lasted abt 3 weeks and then one day the aqua with the craziest look in his eye yelled wtf is going on this is not the woman i love and i yelled back i know i hate it too it’s like i’m haunted he yelled stop i yelled ok then we laughed like maniacs & the stepford spell was broken.

    • what a lovely way to get out of domestic prison – the little buried souls who you didn’t know lived inside you suddenly grab your hands and make you do/clean/make/cook things out of obligation to unknown deities..

  7. Ooh, love it as a verb.
    She stepfords
    They stepford
    We stepford
    It sounds like ‘step forward’ though it means the opposite.
    In any case, I have Uranus in the 4th, so I think mitigates the possibility of any stepfording being done in my house.

    I try to relate to the girls in the hood like I am one of them, but they all know.. It’s the talk about astrology, crystals and spiritualism that does it (the mutterings about the aliens, the elite and Jesus I keep to myself – that’s talk for wino’s in the gutter not suburban mums) – the wild eye-rolling and lack of concern for origami perfect obetoo style lunch boxes is also a give-away. Sigh.

  8. Love the book and the original movie. I wouldn’t mind morphing into a Stepford single woman once a week just to get my fuqing housework done…

    I’ve got a Capricorn auntie who is Stepford to the max, ex-model, approximately 90% botox and silicone, spotless beige on beige home & beige on beige personality (or lack thereof) to match.

    • “Beige on beige home & beige on beige personality (or lack thereof) to match.”

      Hahahahahahaha! God, I laughed so HARD when I read that!

  9. Stepford Girlfriend. It did not end well.

    Nothing wrong with a bit of Botie, Saturnalien

    • Indeed, paralysis has never looked so sexier and facial expressions are so last decade but the idea of having bacterial toxins injected into my face for the sake of vanity does not appeal to me in the slightest. Each to their own…

  10. AAAAHHHHH my suburb seems to be full of Stepfords. beige drapey cardigans, boots, slim fit jeans, expensive hair, BIG FAT pram, big shiny sunglasses, attractive husbands (aka DILFs) RUN AWAYYYYY

    oh don’t forget the shiny black / silver late-model hatchback or BMW or luxury 4WD (LUXURY 4wd?? WTF? Have never understood ths concept)

    I don’t know where they come from. and now they are raising their hatchlings and dressing them just like mum with the boots and trench coat and is this ACCEPTABLE at 12 years old?

    I don’t know any personally so I hat to judge but I am judging anyway. judgey judge. rant over…. sorry to the cool stepfords…

    • rereading, prob a bit harsh. people can do what they like. but when someone is afraid to be themselves or follows some marketing-driven ideal, designed to make you worry you wont fit in if you don’t look like this or act like that, wtf.

  11. I love the original film so much! So creepy and cultish. I don’t personally have any of them in my circle tho, so I couldn’t comment on signs. If I had to guess.. Libra?

  12. We all choose our “look” according to what the look is in our group, and what we wish to express.

    I can take on a Stepford form of dress and often do, but it is always arresting (when I don’t mean it to be so) because of the circles I move in and the way i appear to others.

    I have been brought up in these Stepford neighbourhoods and gravitate towards them in whatever city I choose to live, but I am also a coloured person of very mixed background so people see me ALWAYS as a projection of what is familiar / exotic. The projection NEVER fits what i am. Plus i am a Pisces with strong whatever-whatever else PLUS my unusual circumstances of background. So while I bear the brunt of Stepford Wife look-sniff-judgment, some of my family’s unsuspecting close friends ARE those people and I know what they go through.

    So HOW can I respond? HOW can I judge? And HOW can I not? WHY should i always have to explain my pedigree like a dog going for best in show? Then there is the conundrum of truth vs manners.

    A family member is so beautiful and unusual I am sometimes asked by her “friends” (who are influential and therefore best not to get offside) whether she has had surgery! How dare they ask ME and claim to be her friend?!

    It’s not the answers I can give. It’s the questions that are asked.

    Stepfording is a state of mind, not a postcode.

  13. Oh. you should know the judgment i get when i go to a “coloured” neighhbourhood too.

    Neither one matches who and what i am.

    I am always amazed that people are brought up to accept the limiting stereotype of the “ethnic”group they grew up in. Thank christ my mother is an Aquarian. My limitations are at least not caused by some straight version of ethnicity. And in this day and age noone is really as “pure” whatever as they think they are. The worls has moved and travelled a long while and a long way for AGES.

  14. I don’t think you could attribute “Stepford”-ness to any particular sign, maybe a transit tho. I think all signs have the potential for it.

    and me, never. Never had the opportunity but also not into it.

    • Same! And indicated chillingly by her portrayal of Jackie O, the ultimate establishment figure wife who maintains dignity thru all the grief…

  15. I LOVE the Stepford remake, it’s a regular on my movie-therapy scehdule. The original depressed the living hell out of me, but perhaps I watched it too young.

    I’m currently the breadwinner (OK, almost always have been). & When traditional whisperings bum my hubby out, he actually quotes from the sequel out loud: “We married SuperWomen! Amazons! Warrior Queens! Do you know what that makes us?!” “Smart! Lucky! WORTHY!”

    Any doubts as to why I’m with him?!

  16. I stepforded the nineties away, in a very out-of-step manner, as the Token Boho. Aquarius sun, Scorpio moon, Libra rising.

  17. I know someone (Leo) who is very image-conscious and getting frighteningly Stepford-y, especially now that she’s married. She comes from a very dysfunctional family and seems to have inherited her mother’s pathology, but instead of getting therapy and dealing with her issues she constantly covers up her failings by trying to appear perfect. She claims to be ace at crafts and baking and strives for a “Martha Stewart” sort of image, even though she has little to no creativity and isn’t all that domestic. People who don’t really know her completely swallow this carefully-crafted image, because she’s so good at projecting it. People who know her don’t buy into it.

    I think at some point her obsessive need to project this Stepford-y image is going to be her undoing. I’m just waiting for her karmic paycheck to arrive. (If I sound a bit bitter it’s because I was recently stabbed in the back by this person.)

  18. My mother! She is the definition of a stepford woman, which has been the reason for all fights in my teens and we are now finallly starting to go to therapy for it. Seriously.

    She is a Libra sun with Libra rising (cancer moon). Which explains her need for perfection/control/symmetry. Every holiday she turns into Tyrant Libra that will demand/scream until us children put everything in its place before the guests arrive. In fact all through life everything has to be in it’s place. Nothing can be left out or changed.

    Kill me and my gemini soul.

    And on top we live in richy, suburban, white, stepford land with a pool and a white labrador dog which is perfectly trained. This is not NORMAL.

    But on a more interesting note… I find it fascinating the correlation between stepford perfection and deep dark secrets. Just like the movie our town is full of them if you dig deep enough! Although finding out the perfect women all are robots hasn’t been brought to light….. yet!

  19. No way in the world. Aqua. But after reading about Red head Gem above I remember my mother had definite stepford moments when I was a child. Very young I hated that my mother was a diferent personality when other people were around. I could understand it.