Aries Wants A Wife But Is He Really An Aries?

Filed in Aries

This, peeps, is Chas.

He is an Aries, after (apparently) a missus and he is offering $10,000 USD to the person who can facilitate this.

Please go hither to his site – Hook Chas Up -  and then scurry back here to discuss ways in which Chas is or is not a classic Aries dude.

I think he is actually lying about his birthdate because he thinks chicks dig Aries guys or something.

But he certainly does not vibe at ALL Aries in this pic.

He DOES vibe Aries in the photo caption “eight tenths full” – “I’m an optimistic guy…life’s too short for negativity…” etc but the PICTURE.

Since when do Aries men pose pensively gazing into a fuqing coffee mug with depressing birch tree wallpaper behind them?

I’m sorry but the photographer/stylist clearly had NO idea of how Aries men should be imaged:

Think cheesy grin, biceps pumped, doing pull-ups, fixing something like a Harrier Jump Jet and/or playfully mussing the fur of a large Yeti.  You get the idea.

And would a REAL ARIES guy ever have a picture captioned “my legs hurt” from being in a paddle boat on a pond? No! Aries men have SWAT team type values when it comes to complaining.

Chas does, however, seem to have some $$$.

Which one of you want to email Chas to get his birth deets and then we can drill down on this.

I don’t think he’s an Aries, i really don’t.

96 thoughts on “Aries Wants A Wife But Is He Really An Aries?

  1. Just emailed him and included a photo of myself. Asked for his full birthdate.

    He is cute

      • Good luck Sass! Fingers crossed and bless you for taking on this very important responsibility.
        It’s still early evening in Cali, you might still get lucky before lunchtime!

        • Sassy, goodluck! He looks more Cancerish to me or another
          Water sign. Not sure about a Fire sign, but he looks clean.

          (to clean for me, and a bit ‘old’ :-)

          • Exactly what my 1st thought was. There must be Kataka in there somewhere.

  2. He reminds me of an Aries classmate I knew once. Yes, a certified (able) Aries. Alpha instincts all the way. But the cerebral type. And ADD impatient. I know you’ll doubt this, but the mind worked overtime on how he could devise the most complicated projects, just to say that he conquered the damn things. Not that the things were worth conquering…

    • Another Aries –dated a millennia ago– tall with flaming red hair, was very cerebral, too. Sharp wit, and don’t you doubt that he’d tolerate fools. I imagine he was once the strategist for Viking raids –too smart for all the obvious bashing, but happy to orchestrate the slaughter. ;-)

    • Yes, I know a couple of Aries men and they are surprisingly VERY sensitive shy types. But brains a million miles an hour, always wanting to do something with their day, time, ideas, but do all this sort of awkwardly and quietly. And then when you get them drunk they suddenly become Mr Assertive with an opinion on absolutely everything.

      • totally. not all aries boys I know are macho. some have interesting interps of mars and the alpha can go strategy not sure if thats a rising or merc in another sign thing. look at christopher hitchens. mega aries

  3. As if an Aries male would keep his wet shoes, socks and jeans on at the beach /bay ! He’d have ‘em off in a jiffy ! (can you still say jiffy in 2011? sorry folks, will try harder next time !)

    Good Luck Sass !!

    • Had to look, and I must admit, this/he really cracked me up. An Aries with a sense of humor is helpful. Way to go, Chas!

      I blame the photographer for the “story-driven” photos, but they do seem to intentionally mock the stock dating plots.

    • Even if he was to brave the wet pants, would an Aries really caption that photo SHRINKAGE?

    • Golden one, i am criminal at using old fashioned adages & cliches,
      It’s becoz of 50’s & 60’s upbringing, hearing them from Mother & Nanna,
      the elder Aunties etc., plus that gen never got deep about anything, as in
      no discussions of death sex politics or religion.
      “just a jiff’ that’s cute-sweet.

  4. I think it’s plausible? I actually don’t know too many Aries men who are pull-up, push-up, muscle flexing, in your face, “MY way or the highway” kind of guys. Maybe the one’s I’ve known all had Water and Earth to balance them out, but I think that would be too much of a coincidence? Surprisingly (not to me, but might be to the rest of the community), I happen to know quite a few artistic Aries men.

    Maybe this guy has Mercury/Venus in Taurus or something? Who knows? Moon in Capricorn? A good dose of Saturn?

  5. I’m picking up some Gemini vibes and one of the earth signs. Maybe Taurus, maybe Cap. He has a Mercury influence that is strong.

    He looks like one of my Aries friends (astonishingly so). But she is a Libra rising.

    He might have some Libra stuff, actually. Taurus or Libra.

    Strong Merc/Venus. Wouldn’t pick him out as an Aries at all, but, like I said, he resembles an Aries friend of mine (and I wouldn’t peg her for an Aries either).

  6. OH! And how come he’s never looking “directly” at the camera? His gaze his always somewhere “else”….

  7. Well he is an entrepreneur, enjoys “travel, snowboarding, tequila and a bunch of other stuff”, and there is a photo of him standing beside a Lion… Aries just a smidge? And the last photo, in tennis shorts on a skateboard…??

    I’m picking him for a Gemini Rising, but doubt Sassy will get birth-time out of him. Hmmm… Pisces moon maybe?? He’s got the doe-eyes.

    • His website too ‘flash’ for an iPhone. Does that undermine the Gemini rising? Then again maybe it’s my Ludditeness…,
      Or a sophisticated filtering mechanism?

      • Oh I hate that about the iPhone, I get same prob.
        Yes, I agree, Gemini Rising would choose the latest most sophisticated Flash player over accessibility options to weed out the techno-less-evolved, and then the Aries bit of him just needs to show off.

    • And would an Aries drink from a straw?
      I know they do other things with straws!

  8. goldfleece is right – what self respecting Aries bloke would go to the beach in long pants and LEAVE THEM ON?

    And he goes to bed… to read a book in his jim jams with a picture of mummy on the bedside table? Aint no Aries I know.

    Scrabble with Perrier water? Christ, I’m more Aries than this bloke. His site is way to slow to load for an impatient Aries. Hate to say it but the photo shoot suggests he’s the worst possible stereotype for my lot.

    He does like hairy apes tho ;)

    • i thought that it was done in humour. the whole aspect of that section is styled very kitch faux add, like here’s the man you want marry- sponsored by apple.

      There’s a lot of wit and air in there. clearly a romantic with a no patience, why interrupt my work schedule to find the woman of my dreams (even apology to the employer for decreased productivity on reading emails) thinking pisces in there for sure just on the pisces/aries combo I have known. I bet he works for mac or similar

      • Yeah, I think you are right Ms re the done in ‘humour’ sponsored-by vibe. Not my style of humour so whoever he is I won’t be giving him one. But a boy who can make me laugh… well that is another story… ;)

        • sure not my thing either but good on him for trying. very weird social experiment as well. yes, I too like a laugh though I m the clown in the relationship I think.

  9. And whose bed is he sleeping in in that one photo where he’s reading “The Giving Tree”? That can’t be his, so I’m guessing it’s a room he hopes to be sleeping in…as in his wife had decorated it? But I can’t see any Aries guy being that at ease surrounded by neutral colors and satiny damask wallpaper. His love of monkeys is also a bit off-putting. I would guess there’s a strong Pisces/Cancer element in there somewhere, or he’s trying to appeal to women by showing a softer/ child-like side.

    Not my type, actually reminds me of an Aqua ex that I broke up with because there was no chemistry and he was too passive and sensitive, lol.

  10. Whatever his sign may be… is any one here willing to marry Chas so that I can be the hookee and thus earn myself $10k??
    He’s looks clean, he’s not too ugly and his bed seems nice (if indeed it is his bed).

    So let me know…. $10k always comes in handy

    • If you can convince him to turn gay I’ll do it for the Green Card and split the $10k with you 60/40…

  11. OK, I think I see what’s going on here… Sassy, if he does get in touch with you could you please ask him for the birth deets of THE PHOTOGRAPHER…?

  12. I think he’s been coached into looking a certain way in the photo. Photographers know that pic where guys are looking off to the side are more endearing to women.

  13. I hope someone comes up with birth info—-the bedroom was such a turn =-off the rest didn’t even matter…

    • Hahaha, that website is hilarious – way more Aries than Chas. Almost as hilarious as Chas’s … you’re right Lauren, it does almost make me feel bad for him. There’s just something about the whole ‘find love on the interwebs’ thing that creeps me out.

  14. I have a male libran friend who walked into a party once, went straight up to a couple of girls he didn’t know and said “Hi. I’m Tom Walsh, Capricorn.”

    Afterwards I laughed at him and pointed out that he’s not a Capricorn at all and he said “Yeah but it sounds way better than Libran and I think girls would like a guy who introduces themselves with their starsign”

    I should also point out that this guy knows NOTHING about astrology. He picked Capricorn cos he likes the way the word sounds – not because he knows anything about Capricorns.

    • I can see a Libran coming up with that strategy. Especially if said with a good deal of Libran charm. Capricorns are business savy, successful, driven and ambitious. And Librans would be concerned about how words sound and the impressions that they make…Capricorn sounds more masculine than Libran anyway. Less fussy maybe, more earthy and sensible. Sure, Capricorn = chick magnet! Makes rather good sense actually. ;)

  15. I found him creepy. “I want kids, I desperate for kids.” You’re in San Francisco for gods sake. Find a nice lesbian couple to make babies with if that’s what you want. Marriage does not necessarily = kids

    Also; What are you looking for ? “Er, I dunno” FAIL FAIL FAIL. That’s why you’re not in a relationship. I just desperately want to slap him.

    And I am NOT going to hook him up with my hot Leo sister.

    Grrrrrrrrrrr. Am going back to my knitting, Aries style. Hi-YA ! Take that, Mohair Mix !

    PS: I have a hot Leo sister – she needs a rich, cultivated husband – someone like a TV Historian would be perfect….

    E/M me here if you make over $200k PA & are over 25 and under 45. Looks/location immaterial, but extra points for Paris/London/Tuscany – you’ll probably want to live as far away from me as possible :p

  16. His site can’t load from my android 2.1 tablet. Maybe he’s screening for Blackberry types only. Bugger, could really use a cashed-up boffin. If he really is an aries tho he’ll doubtless be deducting the photographer and website fees from the promised $$. And expect new catch to blow the rest on some OTT exhibition of being his prize. Lest he lose interest. IMHO Aries types are not into growth, they’re into gain. NOT into giving away $$.

    • Yup, my Arien ex was tight as.Told me once that the hair conditioner
      i wanted was too expensive. Shocked i was, hair conditioner expensive
      i thought! wondering what i’d got into, but he was French, thought i wanted
      an air conditioner. I did but my HAIR came first.

      When he was asleep, i swear i could see his brain twitching.

      • And he sweated, it explains why now i can’t sleep along side
        any man (or woman…animals welcome) and it was 18 years ago.

      • Lol. As if he’d be interested in an air-con, I think they secretly like to stew in their own sweat.

  17. This kind of stuff works up my super Scorpy research tendencies. Here’s some more dirt on Chas. Full name is Chas McFeely. Works as a creative associate in advertising (you’d think he’d do a better job of marketing himself then, no?). He’s trekked all over Nepal and was once arrested and imprisoned by rogue cops in Zimbabwe! Now why isn’t THAT juicy bit of knowledge mentioned in his personal ad? That’s the stuff that would draw people in. Must be some Sagg influence in there too.

    • *collapses in a fit of giggles* McFeely! Bless you and your Scorpy skills, Lauren – that is too funny! As Bluesky said, TOTALLY steer clear.

      • we used to call a 7th grade teacher this name=D

        it wasn’t a compliment

  18. Fabulous name…I can see being Mrs McFeely would appeal to a lot of girls. however, could this all be an elaborate denial for him being so gay?

    • Was thinking along those lines too. Or is he even real? Could be an elaborate email marketting scam. The addresses and profiles of the respondents could fetch a pretty penny.

      ( maybe I am stretching the pending scorpio full moon vibe a little today.)

      *pulls hoody over head*

  19. Mrs McFeely? I see a Mrs Robinson-type in McDonalds giving out free kisses with every Big Mac.

  20. nope, definitely an aries, just slightly out of touch with his inner james taylor,
    confused about money (always)

  21. i ‘ve jsut spent 4 days with my aries sun & merc father and he aint no muscle man but he is an action man and even now he is 87 he still wants to get up and go tho he is only 3 days home from the hospital. Impaitent very, suffers no fools very, bossy very but he can be a lamby and bungs on the goo goo eyes. Crafty – very.

  22. isn’t it just like aries to want to cut the process short and just get the job ticked off his to-do list? and wouldn’t he have venus, jupiter and mercury all sorta close to his sun right about now?

    the photographer has a sense of humour – probably is the gem influence.

    tho his web designer is behind the times or is older and doesn’t believe in the mobile web. using flash to build websites is instantly cutting your audience down cos you can’t view it on iphone etc. if they were really on the ball they would be using either HTML5 or the latest version of dreamweaver that produces html5 code. besides, using flash for web sites has been uncool for years before it became an issue with smart phones.

    • Admittedly his comment about having trademarked ‘Hook Chas Up’ made me think that too. That and the over-cleverness – almost ever sentence is a barely concealed wink (him reading a children’s book and proclaiming the author to be a genius, to the double meaning of the ‘shinkage’ caption, to the cutesy ‘scrabble partner needed’ and lonesome paddle boat driver, and then the faux modesty…).

      Actually, maybe he is an Aries…

  23. I know an Aries muso who likes to vibe ‘cool and sophisticated’ and I can just seem him putting himself in the above picture. For some reason he thinks women get really turned on by gentleness.

    Ummmm, maybe sometimes – but I like a masculine MAN!

  24. alright – I did it – couldnt resist – sent deets / pix & painted a hilariously truthful picture of Aqua former SuperModel – one of my besties who lives in SF & currently single.

    emailed her to tell her what’s gone down.

    yest to hear back from either – standby!!

    xox teeehhheeehhheee ;-) xox

    • ….. so she shot back a missive – either exerting driest of dry wit, or entirely missing the point of how harmless this all is. that guy’s thing is ballsy, but it’s funny. harmless. so I sent a ChasMail re not her style / forget about it etc – god my description of her in the original mail was priceless. utterly. not revealing at all. but that one’s gone to the archives. for now.

      anyway – off to see Mick Harvey now – nothing light a night with a god!! :-) xox

  25. What Aries would listen to a photographer telling him how he looks best??

    • One that is desperate enough to get laid because he’s already gone through all the local fresh honeys. The rest of the locals must already know about him or something.

  26. Chas has made my day! His site is hilarious and maybe even ever-so-slightly endearing but wow, I find it hard to see any Aries in there at all. Equating the whole month of April with Aries is pretty vague, and like a lot of wise peeps have already said, he has those big Cancer eyes and a fairly muted, neutral colour palette going on around him.

    For Aries, I was expecting a lot of fire-engine red, dumbbells, Machiavelli and captions that read ‘Alpha as Fuq’ plastered across a picture of him conquering Everest without an oxygen tank. And would an Aries even take to the internet to find a wife?!

    • About the only Arien vibe I got was that the sheer act of putting himself out there and open to scrutiny could be seen as bold and daring. But I still get the feeling that his site is too scripted and doesn’t really represent his personality or he’s just jaded about the whole thing and doesn’t think he has to try very hard anymore. But I’m with you, where are the running shoes tossed carelessly in the corner, the mountain bike mounted to the wall, the primary colors, the gym locker style cabinets. If I walked into his place would I smell musk and sweat…or lavender scented padded clothes hangers?

      I think I’ll hold out for the spider-eating orchid hunter instead. ;)

      • Ahahaha, “lavender scented padded clothes hangers”. Love it!

        I imagine that Mr Spider Orchid would have the musk thing going on, and most likely Mars in Aries … or maybe Scorp. No chintzy bed clothes in sight!

  27. I do see the Aries! He is so mind-scramblingly humble – while demonstrating himself in fancy bed, in front of large fancy house in tennis dud’s, walking along a fancy lake – that it seethes with ambition! It-must-be-right-or-else!

    • You’re spot on, Andromeda. Look to a Mars Aries or Moon Aries for more obvious Aries plays of competitiveness and chutzpah, is my thought. Barring other Fire influences, Sun Aries doesn’t have to put on a show about their ambitions, they just ARE.

  28. He’s being direct, throwing money at it. And he’s trying to soften his image. Look- I’m “arty”.

    Pathetically bad at deception? Check.

  29. Maybe he has nothing in the 1st house.

    I am an Aries Sun, with nadda in the first house…and no one ever thinks I’m an Aries.

  30. I live in SF…saw this last March and briefly considered doing it, but I’m so averse to online daitng and this is so public!!!
    Now I’m reconsidering….could make a really good story.
    And agreed…doesn’t vibe Aries at all. Vibes Libra to me. I blame the photog/creative director for his site.

  31. My immediate hit was cancer as well! They can be so desperate for love they will lie about almost anything (don’t ask me how I know).

  32. hahah, love this post, but have to say that sadly enough, almost every single guy i have been attracted to in my life was an aries. yes, that has unfortunately been the case. lol, gotta deal with the cheesy smile and obsession with biceps =p

  33. the online dating thing is weird isn’t it? Kind of like a poor version of Second Life. My experience has been that men with Scorpio suns or moons seem to have issues about being factual when it comes to age, height and D.O.B. The last one I met told me he was an Aries! So perhaps Mr. Mc Feely is a Scorpio type? (Or he could be a Pisces on the cusp and genuinely thinks he’s an Aries?

  34. My boyfriend is a bona fide Aries by birth date, but I only really see it in the way he talks and interacts in big groups. Physically, he’s about as Arian as this guy. I’m an Aries too, but it’s the opposite for me, I tend to be very into pushing myself physically, but am rather reserved socially. I don’t think either of us has much Aries besides the sun sign. In any case, I think it’s entirely possible to only possess subtle traits from your sun sign.

  35. reminds me of aries dude I met the other eve, (art aries dude I met was tres aries looking but leaking a pisces venus I suspect). maybe aries men are getting hit with the egg timer? wife shop?

    • Leaking a Pisces Venus… hee hee. There’s no fooling your Scorpio x-ray vision is there. Saturn (aka Father Time) in Libra is opposing the Sheep Peeps so maybe they are freaking out about meeting milestones.

      • good theory saturn on egg timer. Aries art dude was. very aries though forward about his role as masculine and old fashioned romantic. flowers, chivalry, the works. I smiled politely while internally my sagg moon/venus convulsed at every further detail of his idea of romance. Props to him though for his love of women. who can deny that, I wasn’t going to cut him down and make him feel like shit for not being a douche. Some woman will be very happy one day there

  36. no no no no. He looks like he would be precious… and absolutely lacks ANY sexual energy in these pics. And advertising exec? You are joking? Do you know any of these people? They are mostly manipulative sociopaths, or so traumatized/twisted by their jobs that they are unable to be authentic. Just my two cents.

  37. And I think this is a thing he did for a potential movie/book. Just wait and see.

    • agree totally on both statements elly.
      and, even if you assume for a moment it’s all genuine and heartfelt, it all seems terribly passive. If he really is a wealthy, single straight man in San Francisco (where there are supposedly lots of gay men and fewer straight ones, let’s just go with that massive assumption for the moment) aged 40 with a good job and doesn’t look like a fright, who genuinely wants to start a family soon, I don’t understand why he hasn’t already got a wife. My single women friends are all looking for a guy exactly like that (ok they’re not in SF, but he’s exactly the demographic that is prized).

      So, my first thought is, what’s wrong with him? It shouldn’t be at all hard for him to get married. Like all the single women who are being criticised for being too picky, maybe he’s too picky? unhelpful personality? really boring?who knows.

      My personal reaction: the pictures bring out a vulnerability (real or the photographer’s invention, who knows) that is quite attractive to a Scorpio, he isn’t a hottie but not bad for a real person especially in the quirky first tuxedo pic, looks kinda cute in a sexually ambiguous way, all fine by me. But I don’t like the pics all being taken from too far away and he should display a bit more flesh if he wants to generate interest – with him being so covered up in the pics I wonder if he hasn’t got a very buff body. I hate the second one with him in a green shirt. For goodness sake if you want a quality woman, get a style advisor, put on a tight shirt and front up to the camera, show some confidence!

      So he’s only ok looking, he probably hasn’t got a fantastic body, the site gives no clue as to what he might be like in bed or what he has to offer to a woman.

      Also he gives next to no info about his work and leisure interests and what he would be interested in DOING with a woman. The books he mentions and the children’s book he’s shown reading (wtf is with that? surely James Joyce or at least try Hemingway if you must pretend to be macho) are school compulsory texts for goodness sake. You don’t list that stuff. Also you don’t list “movies”, you namecheck directors, obscure genres and weird foreign films. You don’t put “tequila”, you put “absinthe”, or better still you try to avoid sounding like a clueless party guy who occasionally does sports and has no idea of what a woman wants.

      If I was advising him I’d get him to put some sexier, more revealing pictures, much more eye contact and closeup, and more details about his life goals, ideas about how the world should work (usually known as religion/spirituality and politics), and some detailed thought about what he can offer a woman and how he intends to be accommodating to her. Because a straight guy who is so hopeless that he can’t find a wife in San Francisco should not be saying “yo, here’s me, I’m the prize” but “what can I do to make your life better, how can I adapt and improve myself to be acceptable for you?”

      So the initial pic makes him look like the sort of louche, dissolute, sensitive and sexually perverted intellectual that a Scorpio might like to devour for fun and practice, but the rest of the site is a pretty good indication that he sadly isn’t able to make the grade.

      I suppose all this says that the photographer is probably pretty good. The subject material on the other hand, not so much.

      Whatever. I still agree with elly that it’s a marketing experiment for a book or movie and it would probably make a fun lighthearted date movie. He’d be played by who?

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  40. LEO LEO LEO
    and I agree with most people above a strong dash of the crab.

    I have aries sun in 12th house, and don’t really vibe very aries. It certainly possible he also has this chart position.

    I reckon a real aries would hate the idea of paying for love – we are all crusaders at heart, practical but essentially knight(ettes) in shining armour.