Regret Nothing: Poem For The End Of A Neptune Era

 

Steven Meisel

Anti-Lamentation

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

Dorianne Laux

Wow.  I LOVE this. It’s so super-high-Neptune, don’t you think? With a blast of Jupiter.  I love this woman.

Her Wiki says she is a Capricorn, born January 10 1952.  She’s having her 2nd Saturn Return and churning out stuff like this. She’s got Mars-Neptune conjunct in Libra…So see how she clearly GETS that Mars-Neptune vibe (we’re going to have to give Mars-Neptune it’s own little sleazy dive of a category soon at this rate) but has evolved it.

And HOW Capricornian is this: She worked as a sanatorium cook, a gas station manager, a maid, and a donut holer before receiving a B.A. in English from Mills College in 1988.

Her Moon is in Gemini, always good for some word-witchery & Mercury in Sagittarius sextile the Mars-Neptune. She is having Neptune over her North Node in Pisces for the next three years…Imagine this as a beautiful short movie already!

So does this poem make you think of Jupiter & the blessings that can be found from even a quick little dip in the gutter? Of other worldly Neptunian weirding? Or that now – with Neptune Void between sci-fi Aquarius and magical Pisces, the sign that it rules – is the perfect time to read a poem like this?

Resonant?

67 thoughts on “Regret Nothing: Poem For The End Of A Neptune Era

  1. Amazing… I just love this. I have had all those feelings, thoughts, experiences (except the tv bit) and even all those jobs. Felt a deep resonance with this, could even smell it.

    • really? – I too have holed donuts for a job eons ago. I can probably smell the image more then the poem if the truth be known and for that very reason I don’t remember any of it – I have thrown a tv out the window but it was an old one with the tube and it still worked which stole the moment.

      • I can smell it too. I once had a summer job of busing tables in a dinner and I swept up more than my fair share of onion rings. Remembering that brings back the smell of grease and disinfectant. I hated it and quit with no advanced notice after being offered something that paid less, but that I got more satisfaction out of. I don’t regret the job itself, though it’s not a memory I would fight to hold on to.

        The poem comes off as more Neptunian than Jupiter to me. And actually with a touch of Saturn as well in a kind of “you just have to get through it” mentality. I also get a Cancerian vibe from it, since Ms. Laux is in a sense collecting all these bits of nostalgia from the past. She says they shouldn’t be regretted, but then at the end says “Relax. Don’t bother remembering of it.” It’s almost contradicting itself because after reading the poem you have remembered those times, but in the end the advice is to let them go anyway. I dunno. I get a sense of push and pull from it.

  2. I liked it, although I didn’t do any of the listed jobs. It is definitely Neptune, floating. Resonant? My Gem Sun/Cap Moon not sure. Cap Moon likes to schedule emotional meanderings.

  3. “Harmless as a broken ax ”
    Yes, it resonates with my experience last year of piscean pianist, saturnian, capricorn-rising ex.
    If only they’d had a gemini moon instead of Leo ……if schmiff!
    Laux writes edibly well.

  4. My god I love this. Especially this:

    You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
    over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
    across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
    coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.

    Genius.

    Yes, please totally do a mars-neptune category so dummies like moi can totally grasp it.

  5. “Her attention to detail comes across less as a mater of craft than a matter of being in the world, of encountering everything with an eye toward intimacy with the encountered world. ” Sounds very Gemini Moon with a Cap intent.

    We Caps seem to spend the first half of our lives preparing for the second half.

    Love the poem.

    “Relax. Don’t bother remembering
    any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
    on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.”

    So true. And thank you, Dorianne, for the reminder to relax.

  6. Oh thanks Mystic – I love this. And much needed timely words too – am feeling the full-moon that’s for sure…

  7. I like this poem, but I still can’t buy into the concept of regretting nothing. We all have something, or many things, that we regret. You can’t fully live life without having things we wish we could have done differently. If only I could not remember some things…I’m not a Cap though, so maybe I can’t quite grasp it.

    • Agree moose. Without regret we would not have a conscience.

      In light of Neptune however best to move on (speaking for myself primarily).

      Thinking Laux and her Cappy Sun (like my Cappy Moon), ultimately no regrets to get us where we’re going….We do what we have to do even when it’s messed up.

      Sorta like now….

      Haven’t listend to one of my faves “Alive and Kickin” for a very long time.

      “You lift me up to the crucial top so I can see”…

      Keep the vision peeps. Remember death is an illusion from the perspective of the Higher Self. Strive for that vision and we help everyone.

      “Stay until your love is alive and kickin”.

      x

      • Yes. I think there are “regrets” that keep one honest and striving to improve, but then there are ‘agonizing regrets’ that just cripple a person (I think—but it could be this moon talking…) At some point, my Cap moon says, let go of regrets because they can stagnate and be poison.

        • Oh darl I think you’re right…Agonizing regrets that don’t serve in the long run but that trip us up. Perhaps a Cappy thing of needing to be perfect ‘the first time’

          Hellooooo human….

          Sure at 52, Laux speaking from experience…I know I am. Self forgiveness the hardest of all in some cases. Think the poem speaks to that. x

            • That’s the line that I love most. I do think this is how we move forward, “on the back of every mistake.”

              And I’m close to her age so it might be a good poem for mid-life

      • Ah yes, but without forgiveness we would only have self-loathing! One must accept the past for what it is or they may never charge into the future.

        • Maybe the emotion to feel is remorse rather than regret. With remorse comes the learning ‘maybe I’ll do it differently next time’ without the sourness of ‘why didn’t I do it differently then?’

  8. Absolutely love it and what a poem to wake up to in the morning too! That’s actually my motto: regret nothing. Seriously it is; I’ve used it since I was a teenager. And I too having some Cap (moon and rising) have had my odd but wonderful jobs in their own right over the years: caretaker of an environmentally ill women confided to her room. (She said I was the most efficient of all her help: could it be because of my Mars in Virgo?? Lol!) Also have been a pistachio packer, assistant to some brilliant but crazy filmmakers, vitamin sales slinger, and the list goes on. And I regret none of it however god-awful it was a times. I’m going to attribute that to all the plutonic influences in my chart. Today? I love what I do.

  9. I have to say I’m in the minority “pro-No-regrets” camp. If you’ve lived your life with no regrets, it means you’ve traveled down every path and road and left no stone unturned. You’ve taken every risk you could possibly take. You left fear behind for the chance at something better. You dreamed BIG!

    You will always have a conscience because conscience is not a substitution for a good moral core, if you have one to start with. Going after what you want does not always equate to stepping all over people. There are ways to pursue, that do not amount to behaving like an animal. Spoken like a true Libra of course.

    • Moral codes were built on having a conscience to begin with. It’s the ability ‘to
      reflect’.

      • Nope. I wrote “moral core” not “moral code”. A moral “code” is people decided upon and created. A ” moral core” comes from the inside and is already in place for INFPs like me. We (INFPs) don’t learn morality, it’s like pre-installed for us. I know other types esp the FJs have to be raised with it to get one so for some people, i can see why they wouldn’t agree.

        • I understand what you mean but even moral cores are based on having a conscience. One needs to have the ability to reflect, first.

          • I think conscience and moral core can be intertwined. I think of it more like a moral compass that tends to self-correct over time, or “given time”.

            • Yes, Bluesky, you are right. I feel they are ultimately intertwined too as “given time” is the evolution of consciousness.

              Sorry if I seem a smart arse. It’s been a long week, eh? x

              All I can do is follow my own compass and hope to not be a fuq up. Neither have ever been terribly hard. :lol:

              • yes. it’s been a tough week. often, I’m just glad to still be standing. trying to revel in micro victories

                you never seem to be a fuq up, if that’s any consolation:)

  10. Such beautiful honest imagery. Love it.
    Thank you Mystic. She can chalk up another fan.

  11. They have a site for these things… will wonders never cease?! Thanks goldfleece. Good luck with your talk (I think that was you). Go get’em :)

  12. hmmm, signed off yesterday with these beautiful words and wake this morning to the words of Donald Trump running for president _” one of the beauties of me is that I’m very rich”.

    Pluto in Capricorn vibing with Saturn in Libra “beauty” ? I never considered a ruddy faced old man to be eye candy but that he appreciates his wealth as a beauty is wonderful. As wonderful as the words of a hard-working poet.

    Maybe I’ll make some organic cocoa and ginger chocolates in mer-goat moulds and give them to my clients.

      • My first thought to that is “A Leo? With that awful toupee! Can’t be!” But maybe it would be a balding Leo that would want to desperately cling to their mane, even at the expense of substituting it with a fake.

        He was born June 14th 1946 though, Gemini with a Sagg Moon, but a Rising Leo!

        • A rising Leo shorn of all but the longest side hairs. Alas.

          His ego being the give-away! I should talk, being a rising Leo as well:) Although, if I owned a bunch of buildings, I would want to name them more creatively than “Trump this” “Trump that”.

          But is he a brand past his sell-by date, I wonder? He smacks of being washed up. But maybe not…

          • Yeah, I don’t think he has a real chance of winning the election if he does end up an actual candidate. Ross Perot was a millionaire and all his money couldn’t get him elected as president. Though if it were between him and Sarah Palin, I think I’d rather have Trump. Hopefully with age comes experience and wisdom.

            • Good God! If those are our choices, we are sunk. But I agree that I would go with the Leo and hope for the best. Palin’s an Aquarius (or I heard that somewhere). So…fanatical thinking in her case.

        • Bizarrely he looks older than 65, don’t you think? A gemini usually looks less than, not more than but perhaps with sagg moon -too much sun.. I retract the comment above about ruddy faced old man. 65 is hardly even midlife these days.

          • It’s hard to tell, as he’s had the same look for the last two decades! I’m sure he could have aged gracefully if he wasn’t trying so hard to stay young. My dad is 71 with white hair and looks heaps younger than Donald Trump. He’s a mega Cancerian and his “moon child” attributes shine through to keep him young and young at heart.

  13. Like totally WOW!!! The poem is awesome, I’m just recovering from a ‘mistake’ of mine, fun at the time but possibly a bit unwise… It all comes together to make me who I am… :))
    I am a fan… always of you Mystic, but now of Dorianne Laux’s now AND I’m not usually into verse!

  14. Love love love this poem ! Thank-you again Mystic. I hope you’re lurking…Here comes my full moon…Virgo sun. Yikes.
    Regrets ? Yeah, I’ve had a few. To quote someone else.. A song ?…But at a certain point in my life I realised that even the things that I regret, have been there to teach me something. Don’t get me wrong, there is little that I know for sure, so I’m not trying to stand on my soap-box, but for me, re-framing regret into remorse really helps me get it into perspective. There is a Buddha in the theravada tradition that if you meditate on, helps you to see the lessons in the ‘mistakes’ we make. Amitaba.
    I love that poetry connects us so powerfully. To remind us we are all flawed human beings, to feel compassion for those caught up in regret, and to help us all re-frame the experience. Thank-you Dorianne Laux.

  15. Dorianne’s words capture it so well.

    I’m SO glad that era’s ending. Learnt so much, experience all been put to good use, was the making of me & now it’s time to experience something else.

  16. Wow!
    Its amazing how that resonates deep within…Life is funny like that isn’t it! 8O

    Btw my brain is melting down with the impending Merc Retro, I can only manage short sentences…

  17. Fav line: “…You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake…”

    Mistakes are important…. let’s think of regrets as mistakes instead, because you learn from mistakes and you can’t/shouldn’t regret something if it taught you something.

  18. This poem is so striking in its simplicity of language that somehow still manages to convey a complex and evocative ‘scape’. I say ‘scape’ because it seems to allude to both an external and internal landscape, a duality of landscapes perhaps … and the often confounding and complex courses we chart for ourselves in both. Sometimes these courses (or paths) are complementary, and the flow between the external and internal worlds seems almost effortless. At other times they can be running in opposite directions, pushing and pulling away from each other – for me, this is when regret sinks in, when I look back and see the seemingly endless repetition of dead-ends, false starts and mistakes.

    What this poem articulates so well is the process of forgiving oneself, the necessity of doing so – I read it as being a highly personal poem, one that is perhpas not necessarily concerned with making a big statement about conscience or universality but rather captures those quiet moments of deep internal reflection that spark a turning point in the way one concieves of onself in relation to the world. To not regret something does not mean that no reflection, no consideration or no awareness for the consequences of one’s actions has taken place. Instead, what it perhaps suggests is that reflection has indeed taken place, to the point where one is able to acknowledge, without judgement of the self or others, what has happened and as a result, can set the past free so it can continue along its own path (which always lingers, like the faintest trace at the edges of one’s being).

    Like Savannah said, I’m SO SO glad this era is ending. It’s been beautifully complex and difficult but am so ready to put all the grokking into action!

  19. The last three postings have been like keys unlocking inner aspects of my being: my heart, my mind, my solar plexus (inner knowing). In the last three days I have:

    1. written a letter / card wishing the ex-Gemini-slut-boy and his Texan girlfriend all the best & delivered it and shook her hand with absolute sincerity;

    2.I finally smsed the HOT Leo about the misscarraige I had to him just before Christmas but never had the opportunityto tell him in person because he was always running away. I was sad and not a possitive way to communicate but given he never answered his phone and is now overseas it had to be done that way.

    3. Forgiven and allowed myself to eat, drink (not too much) and enjoy food and living the way I do without regretting who I am anymore. This has probably been the hardest part for me. Just allowing myself to not be embarrassed that I love gardening and cooking and just being who I am.

    Sometimes life is really lonely but compromising my soul hasn’t solved anything so now its time to stop and just allow myself to be and allow myself to like the things in life I like and not feel guilty that my tastes may not match the preferences of others – especially men. I am me. No, I don’t like wearing black leather and I do not want to be a fuq budy to anyone anymore. If you can’t handle a relationship then please just go away. And yes, my children really do come first.

    Japan is teaching the world new lessons.

    • Good on you BL. Much love and best wishes to you

      (and cooking and gardening rock!)
      xxo

      • Cheers to that! Setting up the greenhouse this Sunday so I can move my pepper seedlings out of the basement, now that they’re starting to flower. Also cleaned and raked out all the beds, so I can start planning what else to plant when the weather is warm enough. I got scented paperbark seeds when I was in Australia last year and I’m hoping that they do well in my climate in the US.

    • Well done you bl!
      I’ve gone through similar things.
      Still working on point number 3, showing myself as I truly am – motto for now is Be free, be ME.
      Sometimes we have to have the extremes to help us work out what we definitely don’t want and that helps us define what we do want.

  20. love this poem, love dorianne, love mystic, love you all.

    Regret is toxic and linked to guilt but REMORSE is wisdom.

    I really appreciate the strange but beautiful blend of vogue italia, quirky astrology, humor, advice and transcendental poetry i can get here.

    • regret and remorse, a fine distinction I tried over and over to explain to ex. he never got it. it’s so amazingly wonderful to read other people pondering these finer distinctions and more subtle, sophisticated concepts.

  21. “When you love, give it everything you have got.
    And when you have reached your limit, give it more, and forget the pain of it. Because when you face death it is only the love you have given and received …which will count,
    and all the rest, the accomplishments, the struggles, the fights will be forgotten in your reflection.
    And if you have loved well then it will all have been worth it.
    And the joy of it will cast you through right to the end.
    But if you have not, death will always come too soon and be too horrible to face”.

    Written by a Grandfather to his grandchildren about LOVE and the meaning of life.

  22. I have a few regrets about some things I’ve done which have hurt a couple of nice people, but I’m aware enough now to know I did the best I could at the time with what I knew and where I was. So very much mostly I love the life I’ve lived, you can’t change the past, I’ve forgiven myself, and I’m at peace with what I am now. Can’t waste life with regrets, just learn, pick yourself up and don’t repeat what has caused regrets, however few they are.

  23. The Dorianne Laux poem I first encountered was ‘China’ – well worth looking up:
    From behind he looks like a man
    I once loved, that hangdog slouch
    to his jeans, a sweater vest, his neck
    thick-veined as a horse cock, a halo
    of chopped curls.

  24. I so feel familiarly haunted every time i read that soulful poem Wow is that what i’ve been swimming in ? Neptune? It has been touring my seventh house, powerfully dunked into the depth of obvious uncertainty wow!! I love that you link back to this poem every so often it reminds my soul to be congratulated for fully experiecing neptune’s will and then to remember to regret nothing.

  25. This is very much me atm, with no regrets of anything even if I have a life a emotional pain with resulting PTSD from the supposed fuck-ups. (I have a Libra twelfth house with Mars in there, albeit in Scorpio but still twelfth house; Neptune is also in Scorpio, but in the first house.) Never any regrets. This is who I am.

  26. Sure does resonate for Mars conj Moon Libras. So much so that I have this in the notes section in my FB. It’s been there since I got my account.
    This is my life story. <3

  27. Thanks, MM, this is a goodie. My natal Mars gets a semi-square from my Neptune at 12 Scorp. Transiting Saturn ain’t goin’ gently into the good night anytime soon for La Leo so yep, this poem is a resonator.