Chrono-Sex

So, what has been the biggest-age gap sexual relationship you’ve ever been involved in?

Saying “whose the older person you’ve ever rooted?” seems a bit coarse, no?

And the query is more a la the age gap than actual chronological age.

“He was 120 at the time, I think” is neither here nor there.

Astrologically, the attraction to age-gap relationships is under the sway of Saturn.

Venus-Saturn peeps often end up with such romances…Moon-Saturn too.

(ie; people with strong aspects from Saturn to their Venus or Moon.)

And was it true love or more like a Svengali/Freudian thing?

In my case i was 19, he was older and i had no idea how much so because everyone over 23 was just generically “old” . But i was very Castaneda about it, seeing it as like the beauty of an old tree or a mountain; ageless, timeless and who cares about gnarly bark or strange spots on the hands of a mountain/tree.  And, okay, i was drunk and he was famous.

The encounter ended when his daughter – who was a bit younger than me – attacked me in a rage. Even apart from the broken glass, minor injuries and police involvement, i didn’t want to visit again…But then Venus is a full 12 degrees away from my Saturn. I ain’t calling that a conjunction. No way.

But people who’re happily in big age gap relationships tend to have that strong Saturn involvement.

Your stories?

150 thoughts on “Chrono-Sex

  1. :-) Venus conj Saturn trine Moon/Pluto. I would rather not go there :-)

    Let’s say a historical digging made my jaw drop, and still getting hits ever since I screamed at my list “whoa!”

    Never thought Saturn. tsk tsk. *slowly turning my head from right to left, left to right* tsk tsk. Saturn :-)

    • I better spill it. 25 yrs twice. 20 yrs once. Biggest gaps.

      In all power was the third partner.

      In the last two years, when Saturn squared my Sun, I learned to smile, nod, move on and not succumb into control gimmicks.

  2. 14 year gap. We were married about half of that and, good call Mystic, my Moon is tightly square my saturn (less than a degree) and his ascendant was about 5 degrees from my Saturn. I think I was his mid life crisis relationship and he was my father substitute. What a cliche, but it fits I’m afraid.

  3. i was 21, he was 39…

    i have no venus-saturn stuff in my chart, he never really seemed old, in fact i always felt i was far more mature than him. so not sure what to attribute it to…

    he was foreign, and cheeky, and my boss (single, don’t worry!) and i just had alot of fun. He actually ended up being very sweet but was never going to last.

  4. ok i have nothing to add about the age gap thing unless a strange phase where I was pursued by the odd super-fit carpenter 5-10 years younger than me counts…

    I also wanted to add and not in the overcrowded post below, maybe a little puff of nuclear radiation is what will cause the ‘evolution’ of human kind? I mean that would be kind of cool right? a few X-men popping out in remote northern Japanese islands in the next decade…

    • sorry for thread-jacking, not keen to re-ignite nukes debate in a fresh post. just getting imaginative on y’all x

  5. Hmmm…well I still have no idea how to know what is in aspect to what in my chart, but all of my relationships to this point have had gaps of 11 years or more (men older than me). Biggest gap was 22 years. Here are my moon/Venus and saturn if that helps…

    Moon Sagittarius 27°42’26 in house 12 direct
    Venus Aries 26°04’10 in house 4 direct
    Saturn Virgo 7°05’57 in house 9 stationary (D)

    However I now think I might want to go younger. Which I NEVER thought I’d want to do. Blaming Uranus…

    x

  6. Well-heh-hell, I got into a relationship with a 42 year-old when I was 26. I was the leading lady in an Agatha Christie play, he was the arrogant, impetuous director. The season was sold out. We hooked up afterwards over cigarettes, fine scotch and Barramundi… not that I ate much. I was too agasp that I was actually having sex with a dude 16 years my senior!

    I ended up staying with him for about 8 years. Ugh. I’m a pragmatist and it was financially more viable for me to stay than go. (Or have him stay rather than kick him out.) He was Sagg, I’m Cap (Sun, Merc, Venus) with Saturn in 10th house Kataka.

    Now I’ve hooked up with Boy Leo who’s 11 years my junior. He’s shitting me. Soooo inconsistent and unreliable. Sigh.

    But I am liking playing with age gaps. It’s oddly sexy. Or is that just stereotypical Cap, fascinated by time/ age?

    • I find age gaps hot and sexy too. But have no Cap in me.

      I wonder though whether it’s a Cap thing in some ways because you guys do seem to love Father Time (or at least all the Caps I know do).

      Sorry to hear Boy Leo is shitting you … I was wondering how it was going. All the Caps I’ve known have been far too sensible for the younger men they’ve dated, tried to date or had chasing them …

      • Definitely far too sensible! This is the first time I’ve actually felt “older and wiser” and liked it!!! But Boy Leo did do something in the vicinity of smart and is going for a new job – at a travel company! I told him Leos had travel on the cards and he actually (maybe could’ve perhaps) taken my advice!! Not that he’ll ever admit it…

        I like your term “Father Time”. Heh heh. Saggo ex older man just came around for coffee. Just coffee. We’re really good friends and yes, he is a very protective father figure for me still, which is really good to have considering my Toro father is an eccentric, know-it-all, dithering eejit. Never looked up to him nor respected him. No wonder i was in sore need of a strong male figure!!

    • Interesting – my venus is in cap, and I am definitely in the older man zone – can’t see myself moving out of it any time soon :) And I get what you are saying totally – age gaps are incredibly sexy.

  7. 25 five year age gap to my ex husband, 16 years gap to my biggest passion ever- mars in capricorn in the 5th, along with venus uranus opposition (exccentric, unnusual relationships).

  8. Hhmmm…. okay… Venus trine Moon/ sextile moon. But it’s in retro, so what does that mean, if anything? Married him (17 years my senior) what will be 10 years on March 24. Still a little bit of the mentor/ mentee as we are in the same field but in all other facets of our life we are equals.

    • My recent temporary break up with my wife was all about shifting our relationship to more equal footing because I put her in the mothering role in some ways … Now though, I am loving the equality I feel in the relationship (she never wanted the dominant role to begin with so she’s loving it too).

      Glad you guys are going strong – gives me hope. We’ve been together 13 years this year – the same as our age gap.

      • That’s wonderful Herby. Your relationship becoming more emotionally equal shows a level of maturity imo. I think maybe in our case it’s because I’m Scorp/Cap moon and he’s a Crab/Scorp moon that we’ve been able to have this balance.

        • Thanks GS :) I also think it’s a sign of maturity. Both of individuals and the relationship.

          We’re both mega earth signs so there was always bound to be a bit of dusting up during the maturing process. Earth on earth doesn’t change well together. I think earth on earth needs time apart to grow and mature. But not too much time …

  9. I have saturn quincunx (?) venus, and have always struggled – yes, struggled is the right verb – with relationships with older peeps, especially men. When I was 16 I dated a 23 year old which was tame in comparison to later, when I was 21 and fell in love with a 40+ year old (he never revealed his age for real but my calculations can’t be more than 5 years off), and then i fell for my professor at uni: who was 30 years older than me and an object of fascination, fantasy, extremely good wine and so forth. We were together for several years.

    I think I have the Saturn issue working me hard.

  10. all of my lovers were older, hit saturn returns gone in reverse, now I am the older woman to cancerian with saturn in the 7th conjunct DSC, who serially has older female lovers. I am 5 years his senior
    My saturn is tight square asc, 5 degree out of square to venus. quintile moon.
    never did daddy age gaps, I guess I never wanted to be a princess. I justified my age gaps by not really knowing anyone my own age or early mega life experiences made me eye roll at teen boys. my first adult bf was a sagg, mega controlling muso and 11 years my senior, then dated a 10 year my senior libra who had mega pluto chart -which I also ran from. Many 8 year gaps as well.
    Now I am early 30s I am like wtf at the idea of dating anyone as young as I was then.

    • Same here. ALWAYS went for older guys, grown ups (well kinda), with adult minds (well kinda) that I could better relate to. Although must admit, I’m a sucker for boyish youthfulness (read: manchild saps who need looking after) – so it’s a mix of older age, young being… USUALLY.
      Yes I’m a Cap with Saturn Moon conjunction, so I guess I fit Mystic’s theory, and the Virgo Rising does love a project.
      But like you Ms, to my fascination, I hit Saturn return and started on the younger guys. Not by choice – they were the only ones showing interest!! And to my horror a 24 year old said to me “you’re looking really good for your age, you’re like one of those hot older guys…”
      I am early thirties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      and decidedly wrinkle free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • yes it was a mental connection thing, though looking back a lot of them were decidedly immature. Do saturn types attract people who need to be babysat? I wonder. I do people as projects also. I am going to start charging soon.
        Totally hear you, I only just realised that I am older, it happened so fast I am now in that league where I am surrounded by younger people as I am still living in a sharehouse with said lifestyle and other peeps here have the whole set up, so my lack of formality appeals. Think gemini rising will keep me young. Could still go older but they would have to be pretty. and sorted. x

  11. I was 17, going on 18 (the “legal” age here in the States), and he was either 25 or 26. I have Venus-Saturn square, and he had them sextile. My Sun trines Saturn, though, if that counts for anything.

    It was great relationship, and age didn’t bother us much. What brought us together was an appreciation for literature, writing, and superhero comics. Have to admit, he does look younger than he is, even now. Broke it off because after much evidence, I suspected he was cheating on me. Was that my square kicking in?

  12. My fella is 16 years older than me – I was 22 when we got together and we just celebrated 17 years. Have never felt like there’s an age gap, unless we’re talking about TV shows we watched as kids… It was totally fated: an attraction we couldn’t fight, felt like we’d known each other forever from first conversation, soul mate stuff. We’re still best friends despite (or because of) the inevitable ups and downs.

    Both Libran suns. His venus in Libra, mine in Scorp, his Saturn in Scorp, mine in Gemini, his moon Aquarius (rising, too), mine Libra. Does that mean strong aspects?

    Interestingly, 16 years is a number that keeps cropping up in our families. 16 years b/w me and step-child, b/w step-child and our son, b/w his mum and dad… it goes on!

    • Hahaha! Yes the TV shows and he called the fridge an “ice box”. That is interesting re the recurring age gap too. In ours it’s 17 years. And ours felt fated too and inevitably there too have been ups and downs in the 11 years we’ve know each other (10 as married).

      • It’s always the TV shows, isn’t it? LOL Plus he has no appreciation of anything created in the 80s… a constant argument in our house! 11 years is quite an achievement – I remember that feeling like a milestone for us but the years since then have been a blur, mostly due to parenthood : )

        • Yep – it definitely is the TV shows. Fortunately for us, I didn’t have a TV growing up so it’s not as bad as it could have been …

          17 years – congratulations :) That’s awesome. We’re just about to reach 13 years … I’m stoked about it after the brief break up last year (still don’t know what we were thinking because am sooooooooooooo in love with her)

  13. I never kiss and tell but I’ve gotta say I got a real fright when i realised your pubes go grey as well.

  14. Well I am 43 (Sagitarian) and he is 23 (Gemini) and that makes a 20 year difference… casual lovers, fantastic sex and delightful company. It’s utterly shocking I know ha haaaa but there you have it *laughs throatily and clips hooves together with a toss of the mane*

    • way to go, Della. :)

      i went for the older guys when i was young, mebbe 14-20 years older.

      in recent years…my last relationship he was 29, i was 42 –> 13 years diff. on and off for four years. some wonderful elements… very grateful for that connection. would do that age diff again in a heartbeat. :D

    • My age gap is the other way round too….. UMMMMM its 15 years….. with a Scorp who worships the ground I walk on. There are so many hot babes after him and he’s like ftttttttt get lost, he says I’m the hottest. His family love me and his never speaking Tauro father actually talks to me, which stuns and amazes all. My girlfriend who was all yay yay go out with him said to me a while back “wow I don’t know how his mother takes it so well, I’d be devastated if Tim went out with someone that much older”. Interesting I thought……

  15. So interesting you bring this up tonight, is there a reason? I was daydreaming or processing this evening at an orchestra of laments, doing my own lamenting, thinking about how different (in my imagination) my life might have been if I had of been nurtured with a high self esteem at puberty. I must have been making up stories about how ‘if I went to the orchestra as a sixteen year old, or if I was around this conservative vibe, my life might have been different’. It stemmed from thinking or wondering if virtuosos or any professional young musician has a strong saturn, because that is a shit load of discipline to be able to pull off playing so well. Anyway I got thinking about my first and how embarrassed I am now, to think that I rang this guy at his work, after our one night stand. Of course I probably had romantic dreams to fulfill, but he at ten years older, obviously didnt. One of the first signs of no respect via intimacy. I dated a couple of guys older than me probably 10 – 15 years older, during my twenties, and got wrapped up in the romance of it all, dates, roses, limousines, etc… but I was wild and they wanted to control me – boring… I had no intentions of marriage so they were short lived.

    My astro interpretations often mention that I will have an older or younger partner and yes i have venus-saturn conjunction in the 8th house, but I actually have some issues with age gaps. They really piss me off. And I rarely find myself actually attracted to age gap people, bar the best lecturer I ever had, but I realise that was a mercurial fascination, and a capricorn I worked for sort of. I am grossed out by the idea of someone younger, and for that matter Im not really interested in someone that much older, I would prefer someone to be around my age. haha maybe thats why im so single, Im not obeying the venus-saturn conjunction.

  16. Della you are my role model. Wow. I was just thinking that i THINK i have saturn opposite venus (?) or maybe that was a transit (?) but anyway apart from youthful escapades and being the mistress to someone who (ahem) looked after me, i have always been in love with men (and the occasional woman) my own age, give or take two years. I find them SO much easier to talk to, cultural references and all that and often older men are really sexist and patronizing imo, like their political views are automatically correct sort of thing. Or that only the music they like has any actual worth. However, only men a lot younger than me seem to even like me now so what to do?

    • Lol well I have never had anyone ‘look after me’ and have always been independant and predominantly single. Admittedly my young lover and I arent exactly conversational soul mates.. but, he is hung like a horse and could kiss his way into heaven so will forgive the difference in some conversational interests haa.

      I have found in my experience that males that are older than me tend to try to control.. they just cant help themselves.. and well, I am ‘uncontrollable’. I am truly a pain in the arse and would be very difficult to be in a relationship with I am sure – being single and taking lovers seems to be working these past 15 years or so.. and the beauty of it is, I can have more than one!!

      • Tis true that older men can have a penchant for control. And I have to admit that I am uncontrollable. I seem like I am controllable because I’m so Venusian on the outside, but people can’t see my Pluto and Uranus until it’s too late and either I’ve shocked/hurt them or I’ve zoomed off. I don’t know what kind of man I need. Or what the right fit would be! No idea!

    • I say give a younger man a go, even if it is just for the experience and fun. You never know, he might surprise you. But then, I am biased and might just be putting in a good word for men like me ;)

      • I am all for it, Herby… I had a young fella who was interested..but I was so skeered!!!
        Body image is so different these days…..

        • Oh BlackStar – don’t be skeered. If a young bloke is interested he is not going to be put off when you get naked. In fact – he will probably get turned on. He will probably love all the things about your body that make you who you are.

          Remember, he’s probably skeered too – that you will find him too inexperienced (not that any of us would ever admit to that fear).

    • Same LS. Think own age is best for all the reasons you say but only getting any interest from younger men lately (15 years the biggest gap). Love it for fun but don’t think it’s ever going to have long term potential. Also some interest from much older types (like 30 years older) which I don’t feel at all comfortable with. No natal Saturn/Venus aspects but got a transit coming up so we’ll see.

      • Sorry that was me. Della I like the way you put it…’being single and taking lovers’…I guess that’s me too, and it works for me right now, but I’d love to have the guts to openly say it instead of making mealy mouthed excuses for not being in a relationship.

  17. Hot Egyptian guy last year was 26 and I am past 45. He has Venus in Capricorn sextile Saturn. I don’t think he realizes yet that this is going to be a pattern for him. I believe it was true love, and we were both working through the freaking out over the age difference, but then he unexpectedly split. That was more his just being a Sadge. The Polish guy before that was 9 years my junior. He has Saturn conjunct Mars. I think his attraction to me was more of an unresolved over-attachment to his mother. The only time I went for the older guy was in law school. I can’t even remember the age difference or his chart. But he was a writer, had been in Vietnam with the Army and written a book, later turned into a movie, about his experiences. That was way more interesting to hang around than sophmoric and obnoxious law school students.

    • Interesting that you mention the nationalities of those guys. The much younger guy I fell in love with (9 years) was from a different country & seemed more mature than the American guys I’d dated (& more mature than his age).

      I wonder how many of you have had the experience of being more comfortable dating outside your age range with people from other countries/cultures than your own – as though the alienness of the cultural differences nullifies the alienness of the age gap.

      • Odette, yes, in my examples, the guys had come to the US from other countries. The added experience of having witnessed two separate cultures and of having to adapt to a new culture caused them to mature to a level higher than American guys who were their same age.

  18. The problem with older guys, i.e., in their 50s+, is that they are all that Uranus and I don’t even know what other outer planets in Leo generation and that’s why they are sexist and patronizing. This is for Leo Socialite, above. (I didn’t want to get in the way of all the sub-comments that are going to fly now that Della has mentioned her guy who is hung like a stud)

    • oh indeed InchbyInch, I think the generational age thing can explain away a lot of the patronising/controling behaviours too. Bottom line.. it’s just not fun so I aint doin it!

    • yeah, and I’m not going there with the 50s+ guys for so long as I can avoid it because who has the time to wait while they get it up

      • Inchy, men have erections equal to 25 yo’s until they are
        nearly 80 IF they don’t have low blood pressure, diabetes,
        heart problems ,medications that cause flaccidity/loss of
        libido or just haven’t used it.
        The MindSet is a whole difference ball game so to speak,
        THAT’S a rigidity that’s damaging for them & their partners.

        • Pegs, I hope this is true. It was a shocker when ex-hubby (who needed to loose weight) began flagging after age 45 or so. Had no idea that happened so early. Then had another brief relationship with someone even older than ex, and he could barely operate. Inside, I was thinking “Holy Sh*&! What now?!!!!” My libido has increased at the same time the men around me seem to be on the decline. Am very hopeful that you are right about this. Promise me that you know what you are talking about!:) Now, to find one of these awesome specimens to which you refer…

        • Yeah, Pegs, I’m with Bluesky in wanting confirmation of what you say. Actually, your comment made me realize that I spoke in generalizations. I DO think though that the younger guys are a bit more vigorous and capable of more go-arounds than the older guys . . but that’s not necessarily preferable, especially when the younger guys think that it all has to go down like in a porn movie. I prefer a little more languid approach myself.

          • Late reply Inchy & Blue. It is experience. 15 years of working with
            Male Sexuality for the Benefit of Women.
            I did forget obesity & smoking, that’s under medical conditions
            like diabetes, wonky blood pressure, medications etc.

            I teach eastern & western tantric techniques & 98% of people
            wanting to know are men. Change their minds & it changes their
            bodies. Most of their problems lie in their throats = communication,
            they just find it difficult to talk about, especially to their partners. Male
            Pride perhaps. A problem identified is spiritually physically AND emotionally,
            half way to being cured.
            It’s a fact that women’s libido’s increase whilst men’s decrease but so
            many ideas & techniques abound in western tantric how-to-do books,
            like Mantak Chia’s & Margot Anand’s maps to prevent loss of libido
            for any of us.
            True.
            I think time i got married…it’s the one thing i haven’t done yet :-)
            (he’s in Tahiti or Hawaai or India or the next life).

            • you teach tantric sex techniques????? what a fascinating career! I immediately want to know more:)

  19. Saturn conjunct Venus in Virgo 12th House. Saturn opposite Moon (which is in Pisces 6th House).

    I have always been chasing women and men who were 12 – 20 years older than me. I have always been this way. I had a crush on my kindergarten teacher, my preschool teacher, my grade 5 teacher (boy was he hot!), my grade 9 & 11 physical education teachers (2 of them at different times), my grade 9 italian teacher (she was the reason I chose italian), my grade 8 maths teacher (the first of many red-heads I have lusted after – what is it about older women with red hair), and my grade 12 home room teacher (I even wore a dress to my formal instead of a suit because she told me to – I was still a girl then).

    My more adult love life has followed similar patterns. When I was 18 I briefly dated a 31yo woman. After that ended, I met my wife who was also 31 then (she turns 45 this year and I turn 32). I had an entanglement of sorts with a boss who was 1 month younger than my wife and, more recently, a major crush on a Cappy who was 17 years older than me.

    And then there is my ‘list’ of people who my wife will let me sleep with if they came to the door (you know the list). And it is full of older people: Pierce Brosnan, Meryle Streep (definitely very high on the list), Kate Mulgrew and Glenn Close.

    I have long given up psychoanalysing myself and just accepting that I am attracted to older people (mostly women but definitely more than a few men).

    Can I blame it on my stars?

  20. Apart from my first love at 10 (he was 12) I never liked anyone around my age much. Always older men, at least 10 years age gap. The biggest of them all was somewhere in the 30-35 range, I didn’t ask.

    I do wonder sometimes if I’ve got issues, of the “daddy” kind or otherwise.

    Saturn square Venus

    • I say don’t think just fuq and enjoy their company.

      I’ve been told that my feelings aren’t real or that I have mother issues. But, in the words of Forest Gump, ‘I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is’. :) :)

      • :D Herby,
        I’m with you on that one. If it feels right, do it :) (if no one gets hurt)

        The above statement regarding issues is as far as I go with psychoanalysis, sort of a rhetorical question that I don’t care to answer.

  21. I got nothin’ on this, but am enjoying the read.
    Saturn is close to my moon but a short leap from Venus. I tend towards obsessive when it comes to finding the narrowest age-gap possible. Perhaps that’s moon near Saturn, both in Gemini, seeking the emotional ease of a twin relationship. Or just a narcissistic expression of self-love-self.
    *sigh* Life would be so much simpler if I were a carrot.

  22. I had a six month affair with a man 7 years my junior. not only that. we were born EXACTLY 7 years apart, almost to the minute. I don’t recall my Venus-Saturn thing in my chart. That man and I had wild conversations and extraordinary sex. It was a mutual animus anima kind of thing between two Pisceans.

  23. I have Venus just about Conj Saturn and both in the 7th house! Currently experiencing a Venus Conj Saturn transit which started right around the same time I started sleeping with someone 17 years older than me. Strictly a no love thing, super casual, super uncomplicated but entertaining and fun. Kind of easier to do this knowing there’s no chance of anything more, I’m always at war with those Saturnine elements of my chart and the Sag stellium of commitment phobia.

    This is the first significant age gap I’ve experienced but since my mid 20’s I’ve only been attracted to people who are either older or who have that element of Saturn about them. Boys = not for me.

  24. My dates have been overwhelmingly Pluto-Virgo, I’m Pluto Scorpio. don’t have any significant Saturn-Venus-Moon action or deep seated daddy issues, but I attribute some of this preference to other aspects such as my Venus-Pluto square
    Also tend to get into Perseph-Hades dynamic of being the younger, more energetic partner who can deal with their baggage. Oddly enough mine is in Pisces- opposing my sun, aspecting both pluto and saturn

  25. I was 19 y.o. and he was 27 y.o. and that seemed ancient at the time. I worshiped that Virg-guy! But things went bad as he started to become jealous of my studies and that it was taking me away from him (physically). He threatened me with a knife once and that I could never leave him. Even though I am a Libra, I tend to prefer studies/hobbies over romance. We barely lasted 2 years and ended with me moving out one night when he went to Prague for a seminar. I moved to the city where I went to grad school and began my phd work.

    In 2008, I finished a bad romance with an Aqua who is 12 years my junior. He is typical Aqua, crazy-visionary, and yet shiftless. So done with cougaring.

    I think my Venus (Virgo) and Saturn(Gemini (7th house)) are square.

  26. Mine was 17 years older than me, I was 23 at the time. The thing that was most disturbing was that my mum had the hots for him and I was closer in age to his son. But he was gorgeous. hmm….

  27. 7th house Saturn

    all significant relationships have been with older men

    biggest age gap=8 years

    though have been, and am, attracted to some men who are much, much older. depends on the man. age alone doesn’t equal attraction. in fact, they have to be somewhat like Caps in that the older they get the younger they look. must age well… if they look like a grampa (cardigan, muffin rolls, beer belly, ill-kempt gray hair, unstylish spectacles), then no, I’m out.

  28. Never attracted to men that were too much older. Ten years at most, and not too much younger, 13 years.

    An astrologer told me I should be with an Aries about 4 years older than me.

    Where you at ?

  29. Venus conjunct Saturn in Cancer by 4 deg (1st house).

    Never understood the older dude thing. My boyfriend’s started the same age from about 19 then every one after that got younger than the previous one. But only managed an age gap of five years or so in any case.

    The Gem hub is a Sun conjunct Saturn person, I found his Saturnian nature sexy I guess? He is the oldest by a whopping year in age majority.

    Probly my Gem Asc is to blame for the youthful thing.

  30. Im 23 and have never dated anyone with more than a two year age gap, though when I think of the ideal guy, he would be older. My mom, who is protective, said she thought a 30 yo guy would be perfect for me when i was 19. I always think i should be with an older guy, and i have a Venus-Saturn trine and mars in cap to back that up, BUT I think my gem descendant always wins. Though i have never dated anyone more than a year younger than me, they always seem young for me.

  31. no way could I date any man more than a couple of years younger….sun conjunct saturn in 11th and capicorn on 5th house cusp.
    No serious relationships with much older men. My boyfriend is 4 years older and I like that age gap. I think it is because I am a chinese rabbit and they are pigs…very compatable. I did have a major crush on another cancer sun man who is 15 years older when I was 27 and he was 42. But neither of us were single.

  32. I’ve always been attracted to men much older — or now– much younger than me. My range is 15+ older, 13 years younger. Men my own age just have never done that much for me. :(

    Saturn rising in Taurus. (wide orb) 22 Taurus/ 10 Taurus rising
    Saturn semi-sexile Moon 22 Taurus/23 Aries
    Saturn square Mars/Sun conjunction, and opposite Neptune (fun T-square. NOT!)
    Mars 21 Leo, Sun 28 Leo, Neptune 28 Scorpio.

    Transiting Saturn is now going over my Venus again, and again– 13 Libra

    Venus conjunct Uranus, and soon Uranus will be opposite my progressed Sun/Moon in Libra (which is currently conjunct natal Uranus!) Uranus @ 6 Libra.

    I’ve always been more comfortable with people who are older than me, and now that I’ve moved to LA, I have a fondness for folks who are much younger too. (Relocated DSC conjunct Mercury/Pluto in Virgo)

    My current crush(s) are 10 and 11 years younger than me. Men my own age definitely don’t do anything for me now…

    In addition to being attracted to older men, I also had a thing for Capricorns (my MC) and Scorpios (DSC) in my youth. Now I’m into Libras and Leos with Cancer and Sag moon/venus combos.

    At least I have a type!

  33. I did date a guy who was 8 years younger than me, but he was really a bit of a bimbo and he found a woman even older than me. I do have to say that I immediately hitched up with a gorgeously sexy guy and was hugely amused when the young bloke turned up as I was entertaining my new bloke to see if I was okay. Boy, was I okay! But then I met my husband, 11 years older than me, and that was it. Instant hots & connection & we’ve hung in for 34 years in April.

  34. My ex-husband, whom I met when I was 18, was nine years older. That is, by far, the largest age gap I have experienced and he looked and acted much younger than his age. I did date a couple of people who were five years younger when I was in my late 20s and was asked out by more than my share of 19 year-olds. If I had been 38 instead of 28, dating someone nine years younger would have been fine, but I just wasn’t up for it at that age.

    My First House Saturn in Aries opposes my Seventh House Moon in Libra. I am rarely attracted to those much older than I am, with a few exceptions,namely, David Bowie, Dominque de Villepin (physically, not politically).

  35. Wonderful post, Mystic! I think Chiron is a strong component in age gaps as well, the ones that ‘last’ a while anyway and have elements of ‘mentorship’ and healing. I’ve Moon square Saturn, Venus trine Saturn and Chiron quincunx Venus exact, Chiron conjunct Moon. I’ve only once been with someone my one age. It lasted 3 days.

    The most interesting gap was a lad 18 years younger and a man 28 years older. I was dating both of them at the same time. Loved the contrast!

    The youngest thus far is a 26 year gap, the oldest 30. Why limit oneself?

    The cool thing about age gaps is our outer planets are DIFFERENT. Same age relationships have a ‘collective’ commonality because your Jupiter to Pluto planets all pretty much line up on top of each other. Get outside your generation and some very interesting aspects occur!

    Viva la difference! :)

    :)

    • That’s interesting to consider with the outer planets. I have Venus, Jupiter + Saturn in Libra which often results in some intense Pluto conjunctions with men my own age, wonder if that’s why I’m able to have less intensely dramatic scenarios with men who have Pluto in Virgo (haven’t gone as far as Pluto in Leo generation and don’t think that’s going to happen), interesting v interesting.

    • How do I get a chart ? I don’t know anything about which planet is doing what !! I don’t know my birth time either…I really need one, HELP !!!

      • Jac, go to Astrodienst (link on the left) and go the chart drawing ascendant bit on the left, enter what you know and viola!
        It can be fun(or frustrating/time consuming) to play with different birth times to try to work out your ascendant. By thinking about how different personal planets may express in certain parts of your life. Good way to learn lots about Astro too.
        Cafe astrology is pretty good for clear descriptions of planets in signs and houses.
        Good luck.

        • thanks Shell,will do…I have tried this before and got a chart and have no idea how to read it !?? Thought maybe there is a different way of reading or getting a chart.

        • Ok Shell, been to look at astrodientist….do I want a NATAL CAHRT WHEEL ???? or something else ?

          • Yes, natal chart wheel

            Then start by reading descriptions of planets in signs, (particularly personal planets – sun to mars) then start looking at aspects between planets. You have to do a bit of mushing stuff in your head because obviously all the descriptions only talk about one thing at a time, but doing the, do I act like that gauge helps.

      • Jac, have you contacted medical records from the hospital where you were born? All Aussie hospitals recorded birth times from 1959 onwards. In the states and UK it’s not so consistent. Home births usually record times.

        Also asking relatives can help narrow it down. Good luck with that and yes, Astro.com is full of wonderful tutorials. Just take it one step at a time!

    • Kim–

      You continue to inspire! The more I learn about you, the more I love you!

  36. I was 15 he was 29.

    I’d wasted my virginity one drunken night, the moon was almost full I remember that but not the lads name. I was mortified that I’d thrown it away. So, not long after this woeful event, sober, inexperienced but determined I gave this guy I’d had a secret crush on a sign by putting my hands on his thighs when we went out on his motorbike. We spent the weekend together & it more than made up for the first time. Only in later years am I amazed at how I consciously went about it. He was the ex of a woman I knew. For many years I played it very straight, no affairs, no partnered/married men, no friends ex’s, no mates of ex’s or anything even remotely connected to anyone out of guilt from this liaison, but I’ve never regretted it because it was beautiful.

    After this I lived with a guy for 2 years who i still chat to, he was 26.

  37. noticeable saturn venus opposition, but never identified with age gap dating. maybe this is more common with the trine? in fact, dating my elders creeps me out. maybe its my sun/mars in aries?

  38. Thirty year age cap and twenty year age gap – they were older – but now at 46 am thinking around my own age give or take ten years max.

    Twenty year age gap was a hoot; thirty year age gap came with two children and well, I wasn’t ready for that role. now I know i don’t want that role.

  39. He used to have a thing with Miranda Kerr. She’d lived with his family. A Peter Pan type fashion photog, well, if he was good enough for her… Well travelled, Austrian heritage, blonde, tanned, great physique. I’d just had my milestone 18th, 4 days later he’d celebrated his 30th. It was just a Summer thing, but it got me over the bridge from highschool and had all my old highschool crew in awe at the exclusive parties and venues he was taking me to. He was a double Scorp (rising) and like me had Venus combust his Scorp Sun. Me and water types… like if it’s not their Sun it’s a strong moon, but almost always Sun.. Anyway..

    Funnily enough, have another older man hanging around with that same Venus combustion atm.. but haven’t looked into his chart at all, so that’s how I know I’m not interested in him romantically.

    Peter Pan fashion photog, without him realising it, taught me something profound. I am certain that him entering my life was to teach me that.

    Oh and I remember thinking that if I was the same age as him, he would have been too immature for me!

    Moon trine Saturn

  40. Haven’t experienced such a thing, but my Cancer Venus is in opposition with my Capricorn Saturn. And honestly I can’t even IMAGINE being attracted to someone who’s a lot older than me. Whenever I see it around the media I’m completely turned off by it. No no no! Give me a man around my age, a few years older but nothing more than a 10 year gap. Maybe not even that…

    Though an older woman is something to ponder…

  41. such an interesting thread!

    since my longest ever relationship ended (w fellow toro who was 1 year and 5 days older than me) a reoccurring theme has been 10/11 year age differences – which hardly feel like a difference – this is also reflected in my close friendships – a distinct drift away from people my own age to those older …

    I think it might have something to do with their saturn’s aspecting my chart – saturn in aries/taurus saying hello to my sun and other personal planets lol

  42. What is the old guy pausing for as he gets to the tent? Has he forgotten his reading glasses/viagra?
    That story of yours sounds a bit traumatising MM, I wouldn’t imagine dating an older man again after that experience!

    Kimmy interesting comments on the outer planets, am beginning to regret not just giving an older man a whirl to test the astrological waters so to speak!

  43. I just realised now that although I’m not into age gap relationships I can’t say the same for platonic friends, one of my best friends is 28 years older than me, and I have always had older woman friends.

    • PG, same. I tend to mix with, admire and learn from friends older or younger by prefference, but like to “come home to” someone who is close to my age. Reading this post tho makes me feel I have really missed out on a lot of wisdom getting in sticking to my chrono class.

  44. I like what Kimmy said ‘Get outside your generation and some very interesting aspects occur!’

    7-10yrs have been the biggest age gaps! I’ve never been attracted to anyone over that age gap. I’ve found these relationships very interesting and like Mystic’s intern said about her experience they have taught me something profound also. 8O

    I was reading in the papers over the weekend about Kristy Hinze (who is 31yrs) and her hub-billionaire Jim Clark (who is 66yrs) announced they were having a baby. That’s a 35yr age gap and they seem pretty happy. 8O

  45. Five years is probably the biggest age gap, though I’ve realised now that this puts their Saturn somewhere around the realm of smack bang on my Venus, merc, sun conjunction. Bugger that.
    Latest one a year older. His saturn trine my moon. Not sure that was as a great idea as it seemed.
    I think I would learn lots if I went back and looked at the Saturn aspects of those who’ve affected me deeply, but can’t remember exact details.
    I’ve a loose sextile btw Saturn and Venus, no moon aspect. A loose semi-sextile Venus to Chiron. Oh and that Saturn rising thing. The last two have both had Saturn sq their suns.

  46. I was seduced by a younger man (28) when I was 49. What a wonderful & delightful 3-year run we had; I call myself his Saturn Return! We are still dearest friends and if our age difference hadn’t been present at such poignant times (he, preparing for the white picket fence w/ kids on the lawn; me, having jumped the fence years before w/out kids & no longer a fertile myrtle) we might have made it the long haul.

  47. With 2 Lover’s that i was deeply involved with there was
    the 12 year age diff with them being younger one, an Aries
    & Sagg. What Planet takes a 12 year orbit?
    The one most suited to me, an Aqua doctor, was 25 younger, it
    didn’t concern him one iota but played havoc with me, so encouraged
    him to take an O/S posting away from me. My Lillith
    in Aqua? And Saturn in Leo & Pluto gen.
    Now i’m unavailible due to past overload of lovers……….a strange
    & fabulous freedom.
    “Time can change me, but i can’t change time’. Didn’t Bowie sing that?

    • Jupiter Pegs…your ruling planet…12-13 yr orbit.. :)

      Ha, true about the Bowie song..

    • And kinda crazy too cuz just found that with transiting Jupiter conjunct my Sun, I’m at the beginning of a 12 yr cycle. Thanks Pegs!!

      Meanwhile, Astrodienst.com blurb…

      Valid during several days: ~Traditionally this is considered one of the most marvelous influences, and indeed it is quite good.

      ~However, since your chart is severely afflicted by other influences at this time~… this one will serve largely to give you a break.

      Oh shut the fuq up :lol:

  48. Hmm…my first love was with a guy who was 12 years older than me. I was 17, he was 29. My second love was with a guy that was 8 years younger. I’ve never really been able to vibe romantically with guys that are my own age. In two separate tarot readings I’ve been told that I won’t find true love until later in life, so that makes me think it’ll be with someone younger. Most of the time it’s been younger guys who try to attach themselves to me, but it’s not as though I purposely go looking for younger guys. I have Saturn conjunct my Moon in Virgo, 8th house.

    My parents on the other hand are 12 years apart in age and have been married nearly 35 years. My mom is Scorp Sun, Cancer Moon and my dad is a Cancer Sun and Pisces Moon. (More evidence of growing up in a flooded house!) My mom also has Saturn square her Saturn, while my dad has Saturn sextile his Moon and his Venus.

    Btw, my dad (born June 25th 1940) has a really interesting chart formation, it looks like a butterfly! I’m sure it must mean something, but I don’t know what. So if Andromeda or any other budding astro students want to look it up as a case study, I’d appreciate any interpretations. :)

    • I had a psychic (at the time, I thought she might be a fraud) tell me the same thing. She said the man I was with at the time (my future husband) was “almost” a soulmate but that I wouldn’t meet my true soulmate until much later in life. This reading irritated my ex no end. It perplexed me as well, just the line “the two of you are ‘almost’ soulmates.” It seemed like an odd thing to say, even if you ARE a psychic.

      • It’s kind of a double-edged sword, considering that the two people I’ve ever considered to have soul mate potential I’ve never been able to realize a relationship with…one being the 12 years older Virgo and the other the 8 years younger Scorpio. So perhaps that means the next person to come along with soul mate potential will be THE one that will be ready for a relationship. Or maybe by that time the younger Scorpio will have figured out what he wants and fate will find a way to throw us together yet again. But still, if my true love is out there waiting until I reach that “later in life” moment, I wish the tarot reading could have been a little more specific. What does “later in life” mean anyway? How much later? My biological clock is ticking loudly and needs answers to these questions!

        • Just don’t go to my psychic! And don’t wait until “later in life!” I have a feeling you have a long way to go to get to “later in life.” I’m not even sure I’m there yet. Though I love the idea of love.

          • In that case it would be nice to have some predictions about relationships that can fill in the space between now and “later” when my true love will show up, lol. Would be refreshing to hear something like “within the next three years you’ll meet someone who will NOT be in your life for the long term, he will NOT be your true love, but he WILL teach you a lot and you’ll have fun while it lasts, so DON’T write him off just because your Scorpio in Venus says he doesn’t tick all the required boxes for soul mate material.” ;)

            • 20/20 hindsight, I guess that’s what this psychic was saying. Also, I sensed at time she was right and I married him anyway knowing he only made the “almost soulmate” grade. It was still worth it. I had a number of good years, good experiences, and 3 beautiful children. Wouldn’t trade for the world. And excited about where I’m headed.

  49. After ending a three year relationship (first long term relationship for me) last year with a guy who was only six months older than me, this year has DEFINITELY been about the older guys. First one was 33 – seven years older than me. I thought that was a good age gap, but it didn’t work out – he turned out to have some serious relationship issues (turned cold when we started to get close… Virgo sun, taurus rising btw). The other night I had an amazing, AMAZING connection/experience with a man who I believe might be close to 15-20 years older than me – looks very young though. He’s attached unfortunately but we still couldn’t avoid going home together. That felt special, but the timing is off – for both him and me (can’t do relationships atm with career needing so much focus and attention, and I know if he were available I’d pounce on the opportunity to explore something with him). Hopefully the universe has something in store for us later on… I can’t imagine going out with anyone my own age again. My mentality towards men has shifted so much in the last three months – like I’ve created an entirely new dating/relationship persona.

  50. No Venus or Moon aspects with Saturn.

    I envy those of you who are so flexible about age, but it’s just not in my nature. I generally like guys about 1-5 years younger. (Venus square my Gemini Ascendant – could that have something to do with the preference for younger men? – Something about the youthfulness of Gemini?)

    I can’t be with older guys – even a few years older gives me a father vibe and hits my yuck button in a big way. (I also can’t stand the paternalistic tone I get from men a generation or more older than me – even a hint of that irritates me & turns me ice cold.)

    However, if a guy seems too much like a boy, I feel maternal & that also has an ick factor. I fell madly in love with a 21-year-old guy the year I turned 30 – very much an animus attraction and not something I was looking for – but he acted a lot older than he was.
    (I almost had a fling with a different 20-year-old guy (boy) that same year, but that boy seemed so extremely immature that I felt like I was kissing a child & just couldn’t go through with it.)

  51. Interesting comments and particularly pertinent to me right now. Weird synchronicity again Mystic. I have Venus/Mars/Moon trine Saturn and the only relationship with an “older man” was when I was 20 and he was 24, lasted 4 years. Since then only ever been with younger men. Longest was 17 years with ex-Scorp who is 6 years younger – he has Saturn opp Venus/Neptune conj and Chiron opp his Mars/Uranus/Moon conj. Interesting that his new gf is a Colombian Negro Leo – he has Leo Asc, and i love the fact my kids adore her and she is lovely. My big-love with Cancerian 14 younger was hottest ever connection. I don’t consciously discount relationships with older men, just seem attracted to younger ones for all the reasons peeps stated above.

    • Oh the Cancerian has Saturn conj Venus in Leo in the 7th house and Chiron square his Leo Moon :-)

  52. me (currently) 48 – aqua saturn square scorpio venus, and sextile aries moon have had on-off 2 year relationship with girl (currently) 26. Not so much ‘mid-life crisis’ as ‘unresolved late-teens, early twenties relationships crisis’

  53. yeah I hope I get myself involved with a way older man….. i’m twenty-five hopefully he cud be 63??

    • I was thinking he looks very German/european engineery on holiday.
      Not my type either

  54. Oh I wish I knew more about my astro so I could share some real insight … I was 25 when I started dating the 50 year old Father of an old school friend and then house mate.
    We enjoyed a 5 year passionate relationship and deep friendship much to the shock of friends and family … in the artist/muse way where I laid around in the studio drinking red wine and smoking too much.
    I rejoiced that he was unlike my Father in many ways .. but they do share a sign … I’m the reckless Gemini and they are both Virgos.
    He is now 58 and I’m 33 .. after he left me for a younger hotter Brazilian a scientist a couple of years ago (who has since broken his heart) .. I didn’t speak to him for what felt like eternity .. but recently we have regained our friendship… brought together by recent pain. (I think the sheer terror of my most recent relationship with Agro Sagg made his flakiness re: the Brazilian beauty pale into insignificance.)
    In between I was seduced by a 23 year old .. it felt ridiculously naughty .. he was the Piscean substance abuser gambling trust fund baby … too mature for his own good … yet flailing with the responsibility of real life.
    Until I was coveted by the Agro Sagg .. I actually considered ‘saving’ him and settling down. When he was drunk he kept asking me to move in and live happily ever after.
    On a rare public outing we bumped into a 42 year old Capricorn friend (and ex school teacher of mine) who asked me “why on earth would I ‘do’ that?” … I told her “Because I can .. and one day I may not be able to” and left her with her balding date.
    Germaine Greer and Vladimir Nabokov taught me a lot about the fleetingness of the beauty of youth! He made me feel young … act young and remember that I am actually young.
    I hope I do the same for 58 y.o Virgo!!
    Perhaps I should have pursued the relationship where he looked up to me .. rather than looked down? (Sagg not Virgo)

  55. I kept attracting younger guys for ages maximum about 7 years younger (me aged 27 -30, them between 21 and 26). Now I’m seeing a guy 13 years older. The biggest age gap with people I’ve slept with was a guy who was 20 years older. Yikes.

    Aries with sagg rising

  56. I usually win this game but it looks like I’m not even in the running. I did some calculations and even surprised myself.
    I wheedled chart data out of my creepy stalky Virgo ex-gf (which was tricky since I’m not speaking to her) and unless she’s lying about her age (again) she is 16 years older than me. You’d think it was 50 years, the way she complained. She’d say things like “When you’re 50, I’ll be 66!” I’d tell her that I’m not too concerned about 25 years from now, I’m 24 and you’re 40 so get on that bed, honey, and I’ll show you what that’s all about NOW. Well, now she’s 68 and I just got a drunk-email from her an hour ago.
    I thought that was a personal best, then I calculated the age difference with my recent crazy alcoholic Virgo ex-gf, she is 17 years younger than me.

  57. He was 31 and I was 17 and had no idea what I was doing other than that I was streets ahead in maturity!! Most recent ex was 4 years younger than me at 42. He treated me like I was a child…abusive, manipulative, lyar and cheat…he used to balk at folk being sexual after 50. Since I gave him the flick, and now at the age of 47, I constantly hear from my adult kids friends..MILF, MILF, MILF..age is a number, life is a state of mind.

  58. saturn trine moon (also conj sun in 12th, then mars conj venus & pluto next door in 1st). 32yrs. have been romancing ppl one to two decades older for a decade. i’ve a child with one 17 yrs my senior.

    the largest gap was about 30 yrs. i’m more bewildered by my so rarely being attracted to ppl my own age than to my predilection for older men/women.

  59. I’m 38 and have huge crush lust on someone 60. I love his stories and the fact that we have the same taste in music. He just seems so literate and experienced. I don’t think it’s a father thing. I thinkni just adore who he is. Before that the biggest gap was 6 years – bit we acted like children anyway.

  60. I an a female Sagg with 6 fire signs, 3 air signs and Sagg venus trine saturn. I have never dated anyone that was not at least 5 years younger than me. My largest age diff was 18 years. My current love is a man who is 13 years younger. We were together for 7 years and then parted in 7/1994. He returned to my life in 2/2010. It has been a very up and down year with us, many hurdles in our way. I hope that by the end of April this will be resolved one way or the other. There seems to be a great deal of karma around this relationship. We just can’t seem to let it go.

  61. my early dealings were with caps around my age or older and married, then had a fling with a triple cap 20 years older which made me finally realize i like the wealth of experiences but not the cap inflexibility.
    now i’m in a long term with a pisces/aries type who’s actually teaching me to loosen up.
    he’s 31 and i’m 21.

    my saturn aspects are just merc conjunct saturn trine ascendant, however that probably explains my famous cap-dar

    sag sun/gem moon/taurus ascendant

  62. Venus trine Saturn (0 degree orb) and I would definitely date someone 20 + years older than my 28. The thing is, not only do I find older men very attractive (only if they’re in good condition, of course), but I would never want to be with a guy who looked younger/prettier than me. Bad for the self-esteem.

    • You are so right!!! Currently 28 co-habitating with a wonderful 47 year old. We’ve been together for two years and are still going strong. I think the older the younger person is the better.

  63. Found best people outside of age not necessarily conscious of any personal magnetism, if anything free of this, but such a vital force in lifting many spirits at one time, maybe the limitation is for others who are bound by an awareness of time, bear circumstantial and social obstacles, think mostly capricorn/saturn and aquarius/uranus arrangement…

  64. My Saturn is *on* my mean node – like, one degree off – and I dated a guy who was twenty years older for five years (18-23) until I wised up. I still can’t believe I thought I was so mature.

  65. I have Saturn Quincunx Uranus. Not sure what that means.

    Venus- Scorpio
    Saturn- Taurus

  66. guilty as charged

    venus square saturn orb 2 degrees
    moon sextile saturn orb 1 degree

    I was 16 going on 17…
    he was 32 going on 100…

    doing the dirty with father time…

    don’t tell the cops…. eeeek

  67. moon in leo (5th house) trine saturn in jupiter (9th house)….venus in capricorn (10th house)…… i am just about exclusively attracted to men atleast 6 years older than me, but the biggest age difference so far was 16 years. 24 and 40.