Uranian Dating

 

Sam Samore

“…WHO is fussing about having an actual date??  Dates are passe.   It’s like a job interview in a cocktail dress.  Please.  “Hanging out” is now.  Dates are like a fuqing contract negotiation post union strike where a few workers got killed on both sides of the table and you have to navigate between corrective action, a fresh start and guilt.   In fact, I actually feel dates are elitist and upper class shit.  You know, peasants just get ON with it….”

So La Femme Uranian emailed me this and a whole rant besides & it reminded me of when i had Uranus ON my Venus and we had the Venus-Uranian Club.

If you have your Venus anywhere in the early degrees of Aries, Libra, Capricorn or Kataka go back and revive the thing. Because you are having a Uranus-Venus transit and there is a LOT of good material in the comments there. It should be turned into a guidebook.

But okay, I completely relate to what La Femme Uranian says about dating. Like why?

And then i remembered that i have Venus opposite Uranus natally. It’s a loose opp but there is it is. And Aqua Rising. And Uranus with Mars…so i complain about Uranians and their fuqed dating paradigms but i AM one.

What is the Uranian Dating Paradigm?

Just hanging out, never-defined connections, random chemistry that nobody mentions because that is just too insanely bourgeois, the Expectation as Endo-Toxin…Space is an aphrodisiac narcotic.

If you have any sort of Uranus going on whatsoever: Strong Aquarius, Uranus aspecting Sun-Venus-Moon-Mercury-Ascendant-Mars, you may as well get with the Uranian Dating paradigm.

Thoughts?

194 thoughts on “Uranian Dating

  1. FUQ YES.
    i’ve never been on a ‘date’ in my life. though i’ve somehow managed to live with partners, gotten married…etc.
    the above description is eerily apt. i even asked someone to ‘hang out’ the other day…

    i have uranus in my natal 7th house, with aqua moon, venus in sag.

  2. I am natally a Uranus conjunct Sun & Mars. I hate “traditional dating” but I’m also doing the Saturn in Libra thing and have a NN in Cap so I can’t just go about my normal way. Guys who are just “kicking it” need not apply. Things like “fiscal responsibility” and “beige” are starting to sound good. sad but true.

    • Yes, my Cap moon and Saturn in 7th hold me back, somewhat. I also like men who seem stable. I’m hoping to find one who IS stable.

      Stability is remarkably complex, or elusively easy. Not sure which.

        • Lol yotf! “Things like “fiscal responsibility” and “beige” are starting to sound good. sad but true.”
          Opposite is true for me.
          Uranus is just about to leave my 1st and Chiron/Neptune arriving on my fishy Asc. I can so relate to your statement with Saturn conj Asc but Uranus/Neptune and probably Jupiter through my first has been an eyeopener – like fuq off Saturn – I want freedom, the unknown and bliss.
          Saturn is trans my 8th house of Libby fleur so maybe I should be fiscally responsible?
          As for “dating” much prefer just hanging out or meeting up with someone. Genious idea that dating = interview.
          Strong OPP – strongly Outer Planetary Person – Neptune/Uranus/Pluto.

          • oh and transiting Uranus is now square natal Venus in Gem but trans Chiron/Neptune is trine Venus. hmmm, will muse on that today :-).

  3. Oh dear, yes. I’ve got Sun-Venus-Uranus-Pluto all conjunct in second house ruled by Taurus. So I really, deeply think/feel that if I’m interested, I’d just as soon skip to physical. And I’m not interested in that many people, so if I’m interested, I’m REALLY interested. It’s an on/off switch. And most, maybe all??, of my significant others came at me laterally as a friend or in a group setting.

    • That is so accurate for how i tend to feel about dating Bluesky. I either like you or i don’t…none of this “let’s get to know each other” crap. The chemistry is either on or off. I tend to tell overly persistent suitors who i want to buzz off, “If I liked you, i would have asked you out by now”. Because, it’s true. … sadly true.

      I’m also strange about gift giving. I like to give gifts when others least expect it. I call it “ninja gifting”. But then i don’t give gifts when many traditional others expect it which causes trouble.

      • I think it would be pretty crap to waste time ‘getting to know each other’ only to find out you don’t gel in the bedroom.

        Not to mention that if you build it up too much, the messy act becomes awkward because you care too much what the other person is thinking about you rather than just getting in there and making sure that they are having a good time.

        I have a friend who dated a boy (27yo by the end of their relationship but I don’t consider him a man) for 3 years without any physical intimacy beyond kissing and holding hands. He didn’t believe in sex before marriage. Fair enough – but 3 years??!!??

        She said she was terrified about their first time because she could no longer imagine getting naked in front of him. Not even if they had eventually got married.

        • Gosh, Herby, one of my bffs the Scorp Rising Cancer was completely enamored with an astoundingly shady Leo Engineer. The whole thing started online, anyway there was loads of toodling around – 4 years later, YES FOUR, they finally got it on.

          And she said in retrospect that she realized he had drawn it out to such an extent due to his size insecurities. Which were sadly actually merited.

          I’m not trying to be harsh here but I think that was completely devious. No one’s perfect but I thought that was a complete mind fuq.

          • I think that’s super devious too! I think my friend’s bf must have had reason to drag it out too. Either he was small or he might even have been in denial about other preferences.

            I think it’s silly to drag it on for the size issue. I mean, at some point she’s going to find out. And, like a female friend of mine says, ‘when he’s got a small one he works harder to please’.

            Mind you, that’s coming from me: been in same r’ship since I was 18 and my ‘bits’ don’t match my body. Mind you, the latter wouldn’t stop me rushing into things if I were single (assuming she or he stuck around after the first hour of meeting in which I would probably blurt it out).

            • Precisely. I’ve been with 2 men I would consider size challenged but both were extremely attentive and had the sexual repertoire to accommodate it.

              Plus really, I think it’s a confidence issue. It’s not like it’s going to change so embracing it is far more attractive than acting like a sneaky little douche bag. I could really kick my friend’s ex.

            • Oh, and yes, he fuqed her up mentally too. She got caught up in the whole, I’m Saving Myself for The One.

              I actually asked her, Has it ever occurred to you that your state of deprivation can skew your vision about who is and isn’t The One???

              Sexuality is part of our humanity. I’m not saying it ought to be Amorality Central, but there’s perfectly healthy ways to own it, rather than be owned by it.

              After all, they say the Saint & the Sinner is cut from the same cloth. I think it’s better to recognize we’re all a bit of both really.

        • Whoa! I can relate to that. I was involved with an Aqua for two years. We started out as friends and he didn’t seem terribly clingy so I thought it would be a perfect “friends with benefits” sort of arrangement. He didn’t believe in sex until marriage either as it turns out for religious reasons, but we ended up doing everything else. I thought I could be patient and respect his beliefs while hoping he’d change his mind, but after awhile we just drifted apart and whatever connection there was before was broken. It wasn’t until I broke up with him that I started getting phone calls and emails begging me to come back and promising all the sex I wanted. But by that time I no longer had any desire to be intimate with him. It does mess with your self esteem, wanting someone but having them not want ALL of you.

          • I can only imagine how damaging it would be. I’ve seen my friend go from being outgoing to being totally messed up and insecure in even the most platonic social settings.

        • See, I’m just not this “giving” or patient. I would never stick around for someone for their religion. I can’t even imagine it. It’s too boring to imagine it. I’d rather imagine other things.

        • It usually goes quickly like dynamite, but every once in awhile I do have these weird relationshits where there isn’t really any traditional dating or sex or anything else… just weirdness. So yeah unfortunately forced celibacy and unrequited love can figure in too.

          But yeah not gelling in the sex dept. is bad news for me. I’m Scorp Moon, Lilith, and Juno so it’s going to be all or nothing there. (And yes, I have actually broken up a relationship for “crappy sex” (well it was for other things too but that figured prominently). And even though i get sad and emo sometimes, I have no trouble waiting for the next person who really strikes my fancy because somebody who is just a boring stand-in holds no appeal for me at all.

          • I’ve learned this about myself too. I was actually like that before, but I stuck with it because I had a lot of family and friends lecturing me about lowering my standards and compromise and being selfless, because he was very well liked by everyone else. Afterwards, when the drama of the break-up had settled, I realized how much of myself I had lost by trying to conform to everyone else’s ideals. I too get sad and emo on occassion, but I much prefer being single than trying to force a connection with someone that I know isn’t there.

            • OMG the well-intended beguilting. I could slap hordes of peeps for that. Both my sisters (one Capp & one Lib) have at some point tentatively asked me about my sex life, I choose not to reveal much for fear of the same blow back.

              And considering my tastes may be considered “interesting” I really don’t want the extra baggage of having either try to figure out how we could have more or less the same upbringing and I went off-grid. Vis a vis the sudden self-consciousness on their part that perhaps THEY weren’t trying things.

              As you can see, a whole host of factors that have not much to do with you starts this whole process of “standards” etc etc. Sod it. THEY don’t have to be in bed with who I like so THEY don’t have a say in it.

              • Oh I am so with you there … Well-intended beguilting is so wrong! Sex is natural, healthy and fun when engaged in by consenting adults in a safe way.

                I dislike the way our society builds sex up to be this sacred special thing. At the end of the day, it’s just a physical act …

                Have to admit I prefer it when love is involved but that doesn’t mean it’s the only purpose of it. Wish I could get that through some peeps heads too (oddly enough 2 of them are Cappies too)

              • Well said FA, I totally relate to that! I also feel relieved that someone else understands. I don’t reveal much at all. Even considered relocating. I’m ashamed to say that years ago I actually left a relationship because of the pressure and ideals of family etc.- regret it to this day.

      • ninja gifting – love it – i am exactly the same. Really resent the extra clutter of having to think about gifts on birthdays or xmas but love the surprise awesome gift.

        • I agree! I’d much rather give something special that reminds me of someone at a random moment than when it is required out of obligation. Most people love getting random surprise and thoughtful gifts, but there does seem to be a backlash when someone expects to get something and then doesn’t.

  4. “Just as soon skip to physical”, ya, thanks for telling it like it is, Bluesky. It’s also like that line from a Romeo Void song, “I might like you better if we slept together.”

  5. And, yes, with Venus at 0 Libra, I’m awaiting the Uranus opposition to my Venus. Even though it happened last year, Saturn was still messing with my Virgo planets, so I didn’t really get to enjoy it then.

  6. been ther done that for a while it was breezy then it got boring as it was too loose for my liking then drove me insane and to the point of using texting as a W.M.D then came to my senses now i can breathe and see how stupid i was.I will never never ever ever go back there again

    • I agree with you LG, just looking at this post is bringing up all sorts of annoyances re some ‘hanging’ I’ve been doing and am so jack of.
      My Leo mars wants action but I think the aqua 7th house sends out the ‘distance’ vibe. Ahhhh!

      This aqua sun/mars thing (sq my venus) has had me skitty for days anyway.
      Deep breaths.

  7. Ahhh always wondered why I never actually have been on a date “officially” use the word hang instead. I also tend to go straight into it..Venus-Pluto, Mars in Scorp?? Uranus conjunct Moon trining my Merc, plus Uranus in 7th house… although looking back I wish i did date more..

          • Wow just thought about the astro of lil aries right now – Jupiter/Uranus on their lil sun yet? And yours as well. I love hearing the good outcomes on the individual level that are possible with this astro. I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy Sassy. Happy is underrated.

          • Thanks guys. Yeah I have Saturn squaring my Sun and Venus? Commitment? Jupetrining Merc, Venus and Uranus. Its been a pretty good couple of months of late. Lil Aries is 26 degree Aries, but Uranus and Jupiter are both transiting El Toro and lil Aries 5th house..Interesting yes..and all the Aqua stuff is transiting El Toros IC!!

  8. I have Sun, Venus & Saturn sextiling Uranus, and Mars & Moon trining Uranus.

    I’m not sure whether they mean anything but I do know that I have never dated. I’m a straight into the bedroom person too (if I have a chance). Fortunately, I am slightly shy in initiating horizontal activity so the other person would usually have to start it. But if we haven’t made it to the bedroom by the second or third time we meet I doubt we’re going to go anywhere ;)

    My wife and I met on a Friday night. We saw each other again on the Sunday and I’d all but moved in by Monday. Only reason it didn’t happen on the Sunday was because she was 31 & I was 18 – I needed her to make the first move ;) . I wouldn’t call knowing each other one weekend ‘dating’.

  9. Agree agree agree. I’ve been on a date once, and it was a double date. It was awful, and quite stupid now that I think of it. The guy, a low Virgo, was convinced that he needed to spend money on me. He didn’t even know how to deposit a check. (I’m a Taurus; Instant turn-off, even at 15.) It was actually on Valentine’s day, 5 years ago.

    Uranus sqaure my Venus, Cap-Aries. Yeah, no dating. Too boring. Plus, no real use for it.

  10. Having been on a few dates these last few weeks I must say I’m completely BORED with the whole scenario / paradigm.. but then even though there’s Saturn sitting on me like a fuqing ANVILL I have a Gem moon, Aqua rising so.. meh.

    Boredom threshold at zero at the moment.

  11. Yes uranian and it was always more about orbits and sudden meteoric collisions for me. I’ve been on one date in my life – it was weird – I lived in a house with 5 men at the time and ours was the party house, hence no need for dates atho I did deliberately have a single bed so no-one would get the idea it’d be easy. I’d given a man my number – he’d been consuming me with his eyes from across the room all night while I was having dinner with my mother – when we “accidentally” went to the bar at the same time. I made the boys leave so the house was empty and he picked me up and it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced – like being a curiosity in a cabinet at the museum. He was so polite it was abnormal and he was far too attentive for my uranian liking. He commented on my eccentric clothing and I told him to get used to it, he seemed to like that I didn’t care – a man who likes a challenge. All I could think was if we don’t get out of here fast you’re going to have to run a 5 man gauntlet and they’ll hate you on sight. He was totally into me – he was a pilot and would call whenever he was home to see if I’d like dinner but the boys would pretend I wasn’t home and then tell me he’d called the next day. It was pre cellphones so it just dwindled out due to tribal quality control intervening. Him being a pilot was ideal if it’d happened – he would’ve hardly been around and I would’ve had my freedom. I think the aqua and I had a date at the beginning but it might’ve coincided with the night I decided I’d moved in and never left so it kind of merged with life.

    Uranus conjunct libra sun

    • Yup, I’m there Herby, why mess around? But with venus conjunct mercury I am romantic as well – just not in a date kind of a way – men have always read and written me poetry and given me their paintings. I love the poetry – esp the fellow libran alcoholic lover who was going down the charles bukowski road – when I moved on because liquor bores me shitless he suddenly hooked up with a 20 year old and had 5 kids – who does that in this day and age if they’re not religious? Nympho libran alcoholics that’s who. I just realised the opposite guy and I went on dates – when I was doing the opposite to everything I usually do might work out better thing – but that kind of made it ok because it was the “opposite world” phase. Then when I realised he was QUITE freaky and not in a uranian way but in some quite predictable downtown suburbia ways he became a stalker so I’m thinking dates was probably never my thing.

      • I also have venus conjunct mercury (Virgo, 12th House). I am romantic too, despite not wanting to delay the bedroom action.

        I like sharing my writings with my love interests. During the infatuation stage I will save my best works to share only with the object of my desire. I don’t usually share poetry with them but stories of the things around me that mean something. It’s like giving away a piece of my heart. I used to write my wife long love letters … and she still has some. I write her post cards every day when I travel away from home.

  12. Moon in Aqua darklings, and may I just say, this insane woman yet apparently revolutionary woman is on to something. Is she the Ayn Rand of dating? Who knows?

    But I HAVE been on “proper” dates. Venus in Leo enjoys the pomp and circumstance but frankly, my Moon in Aqua and a raging Uranus in the 1st house, doesn’t see the point of dinner if I can’t see him in my bed/floor/dining table/name a suitable surface. Yes, I too, belong to the It’s On, or It’s Off crowd.

    This entire rant is the complete opposite of all those 90day rule dating books where you’re meant to hold the “gentleman” at bay sans bed action. Would I like to waste 90 days only to find out he has great finances but woefully lacking..er there? No, I would not. Am sure there are scads of peeps shrieking, but I don’t actually think this violates the rules of the chase.

    Men are still inherently driven to conquer, and if he really does like you, he’d have enough respect for the chemistry. If he’s a cad, then chalk it up to a good time (I hope) then move on. One reason I can’t do the prolonged dating thing is that I literally can’t focus. It’s like a shoe, I have to try it on. For fit, for comfort, and for the ooh lala of it.

    Must say, I think this gives men a break and seems to be what actually happens more often than not. In fact, when I think about it, shows like the Bachelor where they put on “dates” and such just seem so archaic now.

      • 90 day rulebook, that’s insane.
        Is that like the convents answer to the 2 day text message “i had a nice time” response?
        I was really curious to see what you would say about dating FA

        • Apparently. People can die in 90 days in today’s world. Or your vaginal walls could atrophy unless you were in a serious Kegel Regime.

          I was never able to hack it, my equation: 90 days might as well be never. If I’m not prowling around my object of interest with my tush up in the air and muffling my miaows of heat, then you’re like..my brother. Or something.

          I think rules like that exist as peeps have lost touch with their instinct and intuition. It’s like a recipe sold for Marriage Muffin. Really, it’s crap. Now, I’m not saying if it happens to work out that way, and the attraction creeped up, or if you both decided due to extenuating circumstances to wait (the divorce isn’t final/the murder charge hasn’t cleared/the pesky issues down there are still being medicated, I kid but you know), then that’s different.

          It’s the idea that setting a pre-set “baking time” guarantees you x results. The last date I had was..the Scorp with the petrified Scorp in resin belt. After that I met the Double Libra, we were “hanging out”, it looked like nothing was happening, he flicked my face and voila. Naked wrestling.

  13. im going to an art gallery “to get inspired” with some guy, and he said he has to work the next day + lives too far, and its already agreed upon that he’ll sleep at my house.. we met before..and i remember vaguely being attracted to him.. . im a libra with leo rising.. and theres gonna be some sexytime thats for sure….. we are hanging and banging. hahaha
    who goes on dates.. HOW AWKWARD!!

  14. Amen to ‘peasants just get on with it’! I have Uranus (in Sagg, 3rd house) squaring my Sun and Mercury and opposing my Moon … been on one ‘date’ and it was awkward, forced and I felt like a giant fuqwit the whole time.

    It’s strange because although I have Sun in Pisces and Libra Asc, which apparently means I’m all about the romance, I just don’t get dating. The concept, the act of it, why people do it and why everyone wants me to do it. It’s amazing how many people ask “so, now that you’re single, have you started dating again?” Sometimes it’s like being a single female over the age of 25 is like some kind of bad rash (yeah, I know – how Bridget Jones of me … pass the violins!).

    Now, if someone asks me, my repsonse will be ‘I’m a peasant, I don’t do dates – I just do men.’ Ha! Might leave of the last bit, but say it on the inside … and besides, my Venus in Aqua translates to not wanting to follow convention, to the point that I can probably be a bit of a wanker about it.

  15. I actually found dating was cool change as I came from trash alternative roots where people meet each other in dark clubs or off their face at parties and shag, only realise sometimes they are a massive dickhead and you have to ditch them, which isn’t always easy. But there was nothing of the official gag sentiment the chick flicks portrait so I felt it was a different game all up. Everyone I know just hangs out. It barely seems like news in alt circles.
    Though I agree with much of the sentiment above from uranian lafemme, I have to say that being into S+M as a core part of my love/life philosophy, it’s a complicated thing when you go into being curious about a person. On the one hand it doesn’t matter at all and you want to gel with them like you would anyone else you are interested in, but if your entire kink relies on a certain premise of demeanour connected to your role in the bedroom or you seek to know the persons value system surrounding said practice, you actually have to get to know someone on that level before you negotiate a scene or just consent in general. Though I come from the more liberal circles of the above, it’s pretty hard to go and hang out with someone and with an the inevitable conversations arise to keep it as casual, because it involves so much more. Tricky balance of self and role.

    uranus conjunct merc/sun scorpio 5th house semi sextile venus in sagg

    • That’s why there’s a certain comfort for me in the domme-sub upfrontness – may seem too bizlike for those unfamiliar with it but to me it’s absolutely beautiful how honest and direct it is; the trust is immense. It’s enough to get me sniffy about it, or is it just the Cancer moon.
      The typical ‘getting to know you’ is too fake, too layered in a bad sense.
      If I could employ that upfrontness, and meet someone who could take it, with regards to someone I’m curious about or even really like, it’d be pretty spesh…

    • I think the “dating” referenced above if I get my impression right is the more “trad” kind where peeps are almost forced into roles i.e. I as the woman am the quarry, and you as the male are the hunter.

      To me, it sounds like you’re redefining what you need to establish the kind of relationship you want which would include the complexities of dom/sub roles. Though trust is critical in all relationships, in having that preference there’s an even more immediate need to verbalize and define it. It’s not after all what’s considered by most as the “norm” even if it’s perfectly normal to a good number of the populace.

      In my experience, the predominance of “hanging out” really just removes the pressure from being boxed into that and feeling a bit “to script”. But S&M is not a core part of it for me, I would feel the same way as you if it was. And in fact, peeps I know who are, do have a “getting to know” stage where they establish potential partners can see who they are and the role.

    • trust is critical in all relationships it’s true, to me the roles are just concentrated from what already exists within us, so it’s not an invention beyond human relations. I have always struggled, though being a scorpio, with confinement and static in any relationship, kink or whatever space is going. I do try to honour a kind of uranian dating code, despite my heart having deeply plutonian settings for said affairs. I still think despite roles having the tendency create problems due to intensity and the insane amount of awareness you need to make it healthy, that the ability to go there AND be able to create a climate of understanding of personal space and own ID is a core value in love

      • Yes, absolutely. Roles are implicitly derived as part of you. And what you said about personal space and identity being a core value is also true no matter what. In fact, peeps who don’t have s&m leanings can sometimes forget this, since it can get lost in the shuffle of melding, where perhaps in a situ with roles, there are story lines created which further define identity right away.

        Hanging out vs Dating in the terms above I think is just more about informal vs formal…there’s a point after that regardless what you call it that a relationship goes one way or the other. Deepens or dies.

        • agreed, core value no matter what. I was just referring to in terms of the plutonian element /juggle. I find non kink spaces (hate use of vanilla) often blur hard on everything. but my heart only goes to said players so I only have baby youth to go on.

          post above is still relevant I was just thinking in terms of when dating is appropriate yet still keeping it uranian ;) xx

        • “there’s a point after that regardless what you call it that a relationship goes one way or the other. Deepens or dies.” – absolutely.
          Sigh…

    • the only time I’ve dwelled in the periphery of the realms you speak of (LOL note my liibran discretion has kicked in) was with someone who was out with it pretty much within the half hour of meeting me. We were even sober and it was broad daylight. He appealed to my sense of adventure. I went with it for a few months. He was complicated in so many other ways though. I could see it might spiral in a way I wouldn’t be so comfortable with and removed myself from his orbit. I liked that he was upfront and matter of fact. It took all the complications of the “dating” thing mentioned above out of it. It was what it was and he’s one of the ones I still wonder about – but I don’t “long” for him, we wrung all the desire out of it at the time. So I reckon there’s a lot to be said for the kind of openness that kind of relationship necessitates.

  16. I have Venus at 4 degrees Capricorn in my 2nd with Pluto plopped on it forevs. and not a “hanging out” session anywhere in sight. yawn.

  17. Has anyone else noticed that the minute Mystic posts anything even slightly related to sex we all comment away big time. ;)

    But when the post can’t be turned into something about sex we are much quieter? Or is it just me … *cheeky grin* …

  18. Strong Uranus? I guess Aqua Mars & NN in the 10th and Uranus squ Sun and trine Asc constitutes a strong Uranian theme? Also have Jupiter opposite Uranus transit on the go – and well I guess a square to Venus which is at 0 degrees.

    So dating thoughts …. PUKE. VOMIT. GET THE FUQ OUTTA MY FACE. Not to put too finer point on it or anything. Can’t stand the thought of all that mucking around with my appearance so that some guy might deem me physically attractive, which is about the only thing that seems to be important these days. Can’t stand small talk. Can’t stand the bar/club scene. No I don’t want to go to pubs, listen to live music, bbq’s on the weekend, walks along the beach spouting inane bullshit along the way. Dreary dreary dreary ….

    • and as for those dating sites ……. UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

      Here’s how it seems to go:

      “I’m a laid back kinda guy, really enjoys life and liks the simple things.” Interpretation: I am a git with no education, a brain the size of a stunted pea who never thinks much beyond my penis and how much beer is left in the fridge.

      “I really don’t like these sites and I’m super picky – but I’ll give it a go and see what happens.” Interpretation: I got my photo off a male modelling site and am desperate for sex with anything that has a vagina. I’m also overweight and have no interests aside from surfing for net porn.

      “I’m a happy-go-lucky guy with a great sense of humour. Love nice restaurants, hanging out at markets and keeping fit”. Interpretation: I’m pissed off with the world, a recovering alcoholic and hate my bitch ex wife who’s hassling me about child support. I hang out at markets because I’m unemployed and work out because it’s the only thing I’m actually good at.

      • Down to Earth = boring as batshit. Laid back = bored, boring. G8 SOH = thinks MAD comics & Benny Hill are up there with fart jokes and laughing beer foam through the nose.

        Likes to treat a special girl like a lady = expects dinner to be served at 6pm sharp, doesn’t believe in oral sex unless receiving, thinks you should be seen but not heard in exchange for the occasional turn behind the steering wheel of his second second hand car….

        oh dear

      • A lot of my friends have been giving me crap for not trying online dating–the whole concept is so unappealing to me. I want to meet someone I feel a spark with, not choose a guy based on a list of character traits, like I’m ordering him out of a catalogue or something. And as you mentioned, it’s WAY too easy for people to completely misrepresent themselves. I’m suspicious of everyone as it is, I don’t need any extra encouragement!

        I’ve tried telling my friends that if I meet someone, cool. If I don’t, okay. I’d rather be alone than with someone I’m not really crazy about. They just look at me like I’m nuts. Meanwhile, all their relationships are completely dysfunctional, but they’ve convinced themselves that everything’s okay because they’re afraid of being alone. It’s sad how many people buy into the idea that you can’t be complete unless you’re “attached” to another person.

        • “… Meanwhile, all their relationships are completely dysfunctional, but they’ve convinced themselves that everything’s okay because they’re afraid of being alone.”

          You nailed it. The dysfunctionality I see and the excuses I hear on both sides make me depressed, especially when it’s backed up with justifications like “but that’s what relationships ARE … it’s NORMAL.” Well ok maybe normal for some, but I’m not prepared to accept that kind of compromise. I’m not going to live with someone who speaks to me like I’m their property. I see women doing this far worse than men btw.

          • You mean women treating men as if they own them? YES it caves my head in – that ain’t love. It’s some kind of perversion of it.

            • Had someone grab my ass one time and say “this is mine”. Wouldn’t have minded if he had been respectful otherwise. Otherwise I was just a possession and in the end, no, that is not a compliment.

            • I could state countless examples whatevs … but they include both sexes. I personally find it heinous. If the parties involved where somehow made better by this synergistic arrangement I might understand. But all I see is hiding, duplicity, fear, dependancy and lying. I’ve been there sooo many times within my own relationships and just reached a point that I cannot participate in that stuff anymore.

    • “so that some guy might deem me physically attractive, which is about the only thing that seems to be important these days. Can’t stand small talk. Can’t stand the bar/club scene” – I SO FUQING AGREE WITH YOU!

    • Prowln, bless your amazingly articulate self! Couldn’t have said it better – small talk, bbq’s, attending live music, ‘soul connections’ = you cannot imagine the immensity of the fuq I do not give about that stuff. And internet dating – NO. Not for me … I have an irrational twitch about it, to the point that when I read that Julian Assange had an OkCupid profile in 2006, he suddenly ceased to be so darkly attractive.

      However – quote Macbeth at me, make me food and talk to me about quantam physics or some shit and I’m there!

    • I’m just sick and tired of the free passes men get for being boring, selfish, shallow and unevolved. If they’re intelligent or creative then they get to be adored for their brainiac abilities and genuis like qualities, whilst having no expectations put on them to clean their own ass, let alone a house. If they’re sporty and fit … we’ll geeez they’re hot so who cares if they’re gormless nobs who can’t speak any language beyond “rugby”. If they’re nice and actually bother to earn a living then goodness me how we forgive their slovenly habits at home and basically just get used to having an extra child around the joint with the emotional EQ of a single celled bacteria.

      For women it’s the constant trite about figure, boobs, butt, hair, how nice we smell and now even our pubic hair is constantly under scrutiny and reconstruction. Never mind we might be fucking tired and bored but nooo we must always be up for sex. God help us if we actually have a child and are so NOT in the mood for shagging after pumping an elongated watermelon out of our girly bits.

      Makes me cranky.

      • Oh man, it’s true. Even the nicest, coolest guys I know sometimes act like they deserve a damn medal just for being decent human beings.

        • oh wow you cleaned the toilet that you dribble on and over constantly *gold star*

          oh wow you cooked food that didn’t consist of baked beans or something you revived from the frozen food section *gold star*

          oh wow you bothered to give me an orgasm without having to exasperatingly have to ask for it *gold star*

          grrrrrrrrrrrrr

  19. Ha ha, such a great post. Just even thinking of going on a “date” makes me cringe with embarassment. Call it ANYTHING but that. A tryst. Hanging out. Whatever. Natally my sun and mars are in Aqua in the 8th and 7th house, respectively.
    This transit stuff has me a bit spooked though, I have the venus, pluto, vesta transit action all sitting on my natal venus / eros conjunction in the 6th house capricorn. I cant decide if this means I will have insane, fated chemistry with someone met through work, or I will acquire a stalker. Thoughts?

  20. Cap Moon, Venus in Taurus, Cap Saturn in 7th doesn’t mind getting to know someone first before just jumping into bed. Suppose one could “hang out” (more casual approach) then use the term “dating” but at my age, ‘do you want to hang out’ sounds almost ridiculous. No, I don’t mind a proper date. My ex Cancerian husband picked me up at a certain time on a particular day and brought me presents and took me to night clubs (with belly dancers ;) . Eventually we did live together for six months before getting married.

    Whenever Aries Sun-Merc trine Uranus in 3rd, Venus sq Uranus had situations that moved too fast, somehow that never set right with the above earth placements esp. if I’d been intimate never to hear from some idiots again. Perhaps thats an old school “feeling compromised” thing but it’s just a part of my nature I’ve come to learn so I’ll stick to my standards if I ever choose to date again.

    • thats a really good point and one I was about to make differently

      Suppose one could “hang out” (more casual approach) then use the term “dating” but at my age, ‘do you want to hang out’ sounds almost ridiculous.

      it’s expected a certain maturity /seriousness is brought to the table with age and as is with BDSM – because your purpose is clearly stated by the asking in the first place. I hung out all the time when I was younger but as I age with all the specifics- it’s super clear what is and what isn’t. You’ve been there. That is not to say you can’t bring the vibe or chilled out lack of formalities aspect of “dating” to dating, surely its a call on the value system and not being afraid to own a certain part of it. Getting to know people more casually = having their guard down but by a certain age you expect certain pretense to just not be there? x

    • I also prefer getting to know someone before getting involved, but it’s hard for me because as I mentioned above, I hate dating. It always feels so awkward and forced–maybe I just need to do it more, in case I’d become more comfortable. I’d much prefer to just hang out, but ugh, so many guys I know seem so eager to rush into serious relationships, contrary to the stereotype of women being the clingy, marriage-hungry ones. And they take even the most mild rejection SO personally.

      I do tend to attract basket cases, though, and I don’t know why. I’d probably have much better luck if I could figure that out.

      • Heck, I haven’t been in a relationship in five years…”Would you like to go for an ice cream cone?” would be comfortable and meanwhile I’d see what flavor he picks and ask his birthdate, etc. and go home and secretly do his astrology!

        Did that one time with a Scorp I was very attracted to. Saw that his venus square Pluto could be dangerous and it would have been a love triangle (I’ve mentioned it here before). At least he was honest and I could pass…

        • Astrology is such an awesome secret weapon for dating! I remember one guy who was really into me and I couldn’t figure out why–we didn’t have anything in common, and I knew I wasn’t his regular type. I did his astro and it turned out he had Venus in Scorpio!

          I have to admit I used that little bit of knowledge to my advantage for awhile, even though I knew nothing serious would come of it. He was very, very cute. ;)

          • Really do think it’s important and fair to give the poor peep a chance (without the astro psycho analysis) but I peek anyway.. hehe

          • Well, “dangerous” to me was because I felt already felt a certain intensity towards him (met him in a Thai restaurant we both frequented) and knew it would be intense and hard to let go if I got attached and he had his ‘other’ at home with the children. To have done so and known would be all on me and I was still a bit raw after the Pisces (damn water men…lol)

            Yikes, just too complicated and I didn’t want just a roll in the hay.

            • And besides, I wouldn’t knowingly do that to another woman….EVER…
              That just enables bad behavior as far as not being honest to the other party.

              I give that Scorp lots of credit for his honesty as he gave me a choice which is often sorely missing when either gender is not honest.

              • hmm yes I see now. said triangle is not the same sort. more his best friend has same crush..

                yeah that one never ends well. good call sweetpea

              • Like Ms said, probably a good call. Married men (or women) are just messy situations. Even if the marriage is pretty much over there’s still always loose ends to tidy up. I can’t imagine having a screaming ex on the door step is much of a turn on, not even during the early ‘can’t keep hands off each other’ stage.

                Not to mention the worry that he’ll never break up and that you end up with no one anyway …

  21. Venus at 0 degrees Cap. So Pluto is affected as well?

    I’m LOVING this nutty transit! I met a Pisces with Venus, Mercury, Mars, and rising all in Aquarius while traveling solo this summer and now we’ve become this crazy vagabond pair running all over the world to see one another and live together.

    Homeboy is a number theorist/genius at trading the markets/entreprenurial philanthropist and all around goofball with some seriously creepy psychic abilities…best of both worlds.

    And I’m a philosophy major/um…professional hula hooper/just sold a screenplay

    I’ve got Merc and Jupiter in Pisces as well…

    • Will also add that I moved in with him the first day I met him but we spent the first three weeks just hanging out…beach, electronic music, vino, dancing, cooking, exploring, talking talking talking talking. We were both so concerned about protecting our identities and had a lot of power struggles at first so we moved really slow and were wary of developing lasting feelings and being vulnerable. [Typical Aqua shit] But once we finally admitted that we weren’t Vulcans and decided to “officially” give it a shot, 100% in.

      Also, is it just us or do Uranus peeps hate V-day?

      • I know I do. I’ve never really celebrated it, even when I’m in a relationship. I feel the same way about V-day as I do about obligatory gift giving. It’s always best and most appreciated when it’s random and non-expected. That way I know that some thought actually went into it, instead of worrying about what to do, what to give and where to go on that one day in February. And then *sigh* having to listen to all the things that other couples have done and turning it into a contest. Hate it. My Aqua ex insisted on doing something special for V-day when we were first together even though I didn’t want to make a fuss about it. He showed up with the V-day triple threat of roses, stuffed animal and box of chocolate. It made me feel extremely uncomfortable for some reason, like he was following a script and I was just winging it, improv style. :mrgreen:

        Venus and Uranus in Scorpio/11th House (which is also Uranus/Aqua ruled right?)

        • I’m the same. V-day is totally awkward to me…like I feel awkward WATCHING people who get super into it.

          I make an effort most of the time, but I’ll only give people Christmas gifts if it was something that really stood out as very THEM. Otherwise something I cooked, a nice bottle of wine and a handwritten card-letter that I put thought into.

          Also known to randomly surprise people I love with gifts that made me think of them. I think it means so much more and who doesn’t love a surprise?

      • It gets hectic though. I’m a triple fixed sign but threw all the stability out the window to grow and not get stuck. I like scaring myself. :)

        Reminds me of this quote…
        “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” – Colette

        I try and realize it every day, but I have my “WTFAMIDOING?! I’m a fraud!” moments

  22. dates do suck… hanging is good, driving to a little country town where there is a secret antique store full of treasure , with her navigating cause im to beside my self that i am actually in a car with someone i really like to do two things at once , admiring the lush countryside after all the rain , magnificent homesteads along the way, pot of tea at quaint cafe with home made scones fresh cream and jam… yum. Sharing your dreams , hopes and fears. Now thats a date. Fuq the pub nightclub surf club scene. Simplicity, nature, conversation. goo goo eyes, body language holding each other like you both never want to let go. Now thats what i call a date …..

    • That’s sweet D and sounds like a great hang/date ;)

      ~im to beside my self that i am actually in a car with someone i really like~

      They say while women obsess about their naked bodies when with a man, he is just usually “too beside himself” that he’s actually with this lovely creature and gets to touch her, etc… ;)

      • Yeah dont worry about obsessing about your naked bods ladies if its got that far you that your naked in front of your man youare home and hosed i assure you . Speaking for myself and a select few other men i know who i respect, we couldnt care what car you drive , how much money you have , how many kids or no kids or cant have kids, how big your bum is or what clothes you wear its all about how you feel when you are with that woman/ person. I may go on about heels lingerie boobs etc but a good man worth his salt doesnt care about any of that sure its fun but at the end of the day its in the mind….. Yeah go on admit it ladies thats what you think too about men….

  23. Haven’t dated since I met my husband and we roared into bed the first night and stayed together ever since. Didn’t even meet him on a date, just synchronicity through a friend. Thank god I don’t have to go through that shit. No, wait, I wouldn’t subject myself to that sort of crap, I’m too bone idle now to cater to men’s vanity and up-themselves-ishness..

      • Good on her, pity more of us women don’t do that. Live for today, babe, and stop hanging around waiting for Mr Right because he might never eventuate and you look back on a life of waiting instead of a life well lived.

        • Not a selfish Aries mind you (who moi?) …but do love my freedom…

          Sinatra a Sagg square Jupiter in Pisces. Mom was Sagg rising with Jupiter in 1st.

  24. And by the way … what’s the box and dice about sleeping in the same bed? What the hell is that all about? Can’t stand it. Never could. Why would I want to deal with male sleeping habits? – snoring, excessive farting. Just hate it. The toro always had some weird attitude towards doonas and had some overheating problem. He farted badly. The piscean had the worst farts I’ve ever had to encounter, let alone his snoring – sometimes I wondered if he was about to choke to death – and yes in the midnight hours I wished he did.

  25. I’d like to read up more on Uranus and its influence in astrology. Can anyone recommend a book on the subject? Any other recommendations for any outstanding astro books (or other subjects) would be appreciated as well. I have gift cards to the bookstore that I need to use. Cheers!

    • Hello Lauren – I am enjoying a couple of books including Sasportas’s books, which are amazing as MM notes. This is my reading list, hope it helps. I miss the widget MM, hope these meet your approval.

      The Ultimate Astrologer, Nicholas Campion
      Choice Centred Astrology: The Basics, Gail Fairfield
      Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Astrology: The Easy Way to Learn Astrology, Kris Brandt Riske
      The Astrological Houses, Dane Rudhyar
      The Twelve Houses, Howard Sasportas
      Dynamics of Aspect Analysis, Bil Tierney
      Aspects in Astrology, Sue Tompkins
      Making the Gods Work for You, Caroline Casey
      Mythic Astrology: Archetypal Powers in the Horoscope, Ariel Guttman & Kenneth Johnson
      Planets in Play – Laurence Hillman
      Zodiac Signs – Overview
      Secrets of the Zodiac: An In-depth Guide to Your Talents, Challenges, Personality and Potential, Michele Finey
      The Luminaries, Liz Greene & Howard Sasportas, Seminars in Psychological Astrology, Vol. 3
      The Inner Planets, Liz Greene & Howard Sasportas, Seminars in Psychological Astrology, Vol. 4
      Venus: Her Cycles, Symbols & Myths, Anne Massey
      The God Between: A Study of Astrological Mercury, Freda Edis
      The Sibling Constellation, Brian Clark
      Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil, Liz Greene
      Alive & Well with Uranus, Bil Tierney
      The Astrological Neptune and the Quest for Redemption, Liz Greene
      Healing Pluto Problems, Donna Cunningham
      Chiron & the Healing Journey, Melanie Reinhart
      Astrology for the Soul, Jan Spiller
      Asteroid Goddesses: The Mythology, Psychology & Astrology of the Feminine, Demetra George
      The Soul’s Code, James Hillman (not specifically astrological)
      Patterns of the Past: the Birthchart, Karma and Reincarnation, Judy Hall

  26. Thanks Mystic! I was just reading the review of “The Gods of Change: Pain, Crisis and the Transits of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto” by him. I’ll see if I can order it through the bookstore, since I know their “new age” section is sadly ever shrinking.

  27. Hope all had a nice Valentines Day im having an early night with no valentine , maybe next year. ? I picked some pink with electric blue tipped bromilliades and purple ginger flowers with yellow tips and dropped them in to my mums house this afternoon she was stoked.

    • Aw, so sweet again D. My Cancerian daughter’s Gemini boyfriend got me a boquet.

      Saw all the kids today (13th here tho), but Libran Gdaughter made me a little funny heart person I put on the fridge and a homemade card with my name “Nani” and last name (cracks me up ) and address on the envelope….

      Precious.

  28. Dating is like having your butterfly wings picked off very slowly. Too naff and angsty especially in the early days. All that messing with your clothes & hair, praying you don’t trip over, the dumb arse convo it’s like an inquisition! Shudder!

    Going out somewhere when you know them is far more fun even then I’d rather hang out in the big shed.

  29. I have Venus at 29.5 degrees Gemini (nearly Cancer), so I guess Uranus is hitting on it right now. I also have Venus square Pluto square a whole lot of other stuff.

    Could explain last nights dream…

    I was with John Lennon, twined around him very intimately (and comfortably). We were making great music (I do mean actual music, piano and singing). I felt a bit of a cheat as I was working in lots of tunes since 1980 (when he died sadly) and there he was thinking I was a musical genius for coming up with this stuff.

    But I felt NO guilt for Yoko or Cynthia or any of those others. They had no musical talent, so why should they stop him (and me) having the fabulous experience of sharing this creation in a very enjoyable and intimate way?

    I really don’t like the idea of ownership. I think I must be one of the most tolerant girlfriends (when I am one) out there. I don’t believe in dates, either. I DO believe though in making an effort… so do think people should make an effort to appreciate the one they are with. I definitely give as good as I get (or better) in this department.

    I do expect the same latitude from my man (but unless man is already taken and I am a bit on the side, they tend to be stupidly possessive )AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGH I hate Cancerian men. No more of those for this little pony.

    Aqua Rising, Pluto and Uranus in the 8th in Libra, Venus in Gemini
    But I am a Leo so don’t go over board with all this either (I think!)
    But I do 100% totally hate the idea of ownership, that just because you are married, you have a claim on what the other person does for the rest of their life (or so you think)

  30. Aqua sun, Scorpio moon, Mercury and Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Aries. I don’t know what most of that means, but I feel really strong just lately. I have a long laundry list of necessary qualities (for dating or whatever), but if the attraction is really strong, it’s somewhat flexible. Somewhat. There’s too much pressure in dating. I prefer to meet up for dinner or a drink, or to spend a day or afternoon Out Someplace, preferably near my car so I’m able to manufacture a fast getaway.

  31. Have no Uranus going on at all. The only thing in Aqua is Lilith?
    I love hanging out. Never really dated.. (Just this once, a blind date, with a newly divorced older guy..that didn’t work).

    NN in the 7th, guilty of serial monogamy. I probably have one of those trines that means I will put up with all sorts of crap, happily my partner is truly wonderful.

    GemHub is super Uranian (Aqua Rising, Uranus grand trine to Saturn & Ascendent) but he has 4th House Sun, Kataka Moon, so deep need for homely nurturing in favour of space. More remote than others I have ‘hung out’ with, but I don’t mind, it sort of suits him.

  32. Prowlncrab, You Rock!

    I am going to copy-n-paste your bitch posts ranting (I mean valuable and totally justified venting of steam) and forward them to all me girlfriends! Yay, so succinctly put. If I am in a really slightly stirring mood tomorrow, I will copy them and stick them up on my cubicle at work (there is always good stuff from this site!)

    After I posted my John Lennon fantasy (ps he wasn’t dead or old, just how he was about 40) – I did realise that I DO have high expectations for the guy, IF I am into him. If I’m not into him then -> hello, I look more like Prowlncrab.

    But I do value originality. Several girls at work today got bunches of red roses. It SHOULD be lovely, overwhelming, delightful. But it feels like a box is being ticked off. “How do I express my feelings? Um, like everyone else says I should.” And yes, makes it way too easy to compare.

    Originality Wins !

    • OMIGOD HOW AWESOME

      When you post it on the cubicles and so forth can you do it like this:

      THE BITCH RANTING POST
      a place to vent your justified spleen about everything that sucks

      obviously the top headline has to be big bold and not in some dumb font like comic sans or ariel … it has to be in a BIG CRANKY FONT, you know to get the message across appropriately. The rest is just for descriptive purposes..

      Then everyone gets to write on there. Print it on A3. Provide a pen.

      Wow wouldn’t the results be interesting?

      :mrgreen:

      • ohh prowlers,

        Has been an edifying post.

        ROFLMAO.

        but i qualify as the antithesis of deserved respect given your prosaic declamation of the rites of the bull

        Still , im laughing

  33. Also, regarding online dating –nonononononononononono, and no. There may be a few Real People, but I’m not wading through the ax murderers, players, and sloths to find one.

  34. When I first read this I was like…eh? Then I thought about it for a minute and realized I’ve never actually dated before. The only time I’ve been on “dates” was when I was in my only real relationship.

    -Mars Square Uranus
    -Capricorn Asc w/ Saturn conj. Uranus in Sag/12th
    -Gemini Venus

  35. No, can’t remember ever going on a date. Doesn’t that just happen in the movies. Can’t really relate. Not sure about where and what degrees things are, but believe I have sun and 4 other planets in Aquarius. I feel abit sick inside at the thought of going on a date. Job interview in a cocktail dress sounds about right…..lol

  36. For V day all of us (5) therapists and office mgr. got Cancerian Chiro doc & his wife a gift certificate for his fave Thai restaurant and a goodie basket full of all kinds of naughties.

    One of them was “anal ease” gel… (Aqua, Gem Moon office mgr’s idea).

    He thinks we’re all insane. Was hilarious and he didn’t even blush.

    :shock: :lol:

  37. IM HANGING OUT with 3 diff . dudes this week. they all excite me in different ways..i went through a dry spell… no action since xmas! but when it hits it hits!!! even my ex is trying to get with me now . i love these uranian sex spells.

  38. standing beneath lightbulb flash – giggling @ sagg rules above and realisation of uranus opp. sun and square midheaven … enough said. i have been on a couple of dates. i laughed a lot at the date. one of them was especially memorable. but yes, generally, people/love just sort evolves. usually, at aries/venus speed.

  39. Uranus-Venus transit indeed!
    Got my venus in 0.27 Cancer and just met the sexiest male model. AND we got the whole Mars-Venus chemistry thing going on so its double trouble. By far the most attractive man Ive started a relationship with. And it was straight to bedroom with us, no date in sight. And now I find out it’s from the stars!

  40. Yes, I think I’m probably mega Uranian and experiencing opposition my Venus right now.

    Aqua ascendant…Uranus in the 8th house (what does that mean), and BOTH Mars and venus in early degrees of Kataka.

    Just had final blowout with the overly-critical/sometimes sadistic Leo bf. SO ready to be appreciated, but most of all….NO LONGER RESTRICTED!!!!

  41. OMG… sounds like my Aqua girlfriend. Mind you, I LOVE this about her. I’m pisces and her total disregard for convention suits me perfectly. In fact, just last night we sat around laughing our asses off reading Mystic Medusa’s astro guide about each other.

    What makes her so alluring is her fabulous aqua brains combined with a playful leo moon and incredibly sweet cancer rising. I’ve never dated Aqua women before, so I’m delightfully blown away at the depth of our connection, which is a Pisces must.

    BTW, my moon is cap with sag rising, so it’s even more hilarious how we find each other so irresistible. While I’ve always dug women Aquas like Oprah, I have deep, new found respect for Aqua women!

  42. Yeah
    I always say, “I don’t date. Dating is for monogamists and I’m fundamentally against enforced contractual monogamy purely because it brings out the worst in me.”
    I LOATE the whole dating concept and agree that it feels like a job interview with the man as boss. Consider how much time, money and energy women put into it versus men. Then consider the hidden agendas. Gives me the shitz. I don’t need anyone to “buy me dinner” like fuq what is this the 50′s?
    Can we cut to the chase already?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title="" rel=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>