Venus On Roam

Filed in Venus Venusian

Louise Dahl Wolfe

Mars in Aquarius ain’t a solo operator, you know.

The Mars-Bats scenario is abetted by Venus roaming free in the feckless but life-enhancing sign of Saggo since January 8.

Hands up who has lightened way the hell up about their love/dating/lust life/a particular relationship?

Who is starting to dabble in something a little bit more exotic than usual, like a new kind of relationship-cuisine?

Globe-trotting for love?

Vowing to change your “type” and it just feels exciting, not at all like anything too intellectual or emo?

Welcome to Venus In Saggo guys – it’s very Rumi, don’t you think?

Get down with it; no judgement, no guilting, no narking off – just fun & the sexy qi generated by particles zipping between peeps who fancy one another.

Venus in Sagg pulling technique? I’m not so sure there is one.

Perhaps the Venus in Sagg people (those of you who were born with this) can answer this?

Theory: That you just make it abundantly clear when you’re on heat, blazingly candid and uncomplicated.

Please Share!

111 thoughts on “Venus On Roam

  1. Definitely feel so much more positive about love….. even nonchalant about the future and the fact that it’s me, myself and I. Still head-over for an ex-flame, but not in that absolutely obsessive stalkerish mode that plagued me last month. Just chillin’ out waiting to see what the universe has in store – rather than focusing on some impossible love-goal. LOA didn’t work for my love life last year.

  2. No more cyber stalking!!
    Meet a guy the night of the Mercury Retro, after having a fight with my ridiculous un-requited love of the past 3 yrs and finally really understanding that its not going to happen.
    Im about 67% sure of new guys first name, i know a few key details and thats it, im not interested in knowing anything more, kind of last tango in Paris style.

  3. Venus in Sagittarius pulling techniques? I have a close GF who is Scrop, Cancer rising, Cancer Moon and in all things save one she is ultra private. But if she has her eye on a guy, OMG, she takes action! Big, expansive action! It’s amazing.

    She zeros in, talks, phones, emails and gets all kinds of connected with plans for activities. Once she is past the first few dates though, the Moon kicks in and she’s inside an egg. The contrast is amazing. :)

  4. Aww, I WISH I could even be capable of relating to love and lust in the easy, carefree way of the Sagg. But no, I am Scorp in Venus and take all matters of the heart very seriously. I’ve always been that way. I don’t flirt casually, I don’t date casually. It seems I’m either madly in love or not interested in love at all. I do have a Sagg Ascendant and I think it’s influence comes to bear when trying to get over a broken heart, since my coping strategy is always to apply logic and intellect and try to reason out what went wrong in the most unemotional way that I can. I’m in the process of doing that now in fact, so maybe that’s how Venus in Saggo is effecting me.

    • im the same i dont flirt casually or date casually im either all on or all off, but just want to be free at the moment i dont want anyone till i find a spark anyway venus in aries, pisces sun gem rising

  5. Theorize no more! Se moi..I’m all bloody heat and working the KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid) school of non-relationship with the Double Lib.

    I thought I’d lost him to the “just friends” vortex after he seemed to vibe sickeningly platonic. As is my practice, I treat most of my male friends with jolly well meant abuse, and yes, the full range of my wit..after all I’m thinking this ought not scare you anymore? I suppose I tend to be gentler with my lovers.

    Ironically, it made things waaay lighter, after the initial shock for him of course and allowed us to find more things in common, than I ever really thought possible. Hence, when he started in with the supposedly innocuous “what you doing?” texts, I brazenly told him I was “chilling, watching tv and just fyi I have no more furniture for you to build”. Furniture building, house painting were all handy seque ways to the bedroom. Practical, but there you go. My message? If you want me, you’re just gonna have to say it.

    Seems the penny finally dropped and we had a great time. Right now, I’m enjoying caring peripherally..rather than obsessively. Though he did subject me to a barrage of drunk dialing the next night and entreaties to come over.. I wish I could feel this way for a while.. it’s not about power, or control, or even lust.

    It’s more about… joy I think. And I definitely cannot say no to that.

    • “If you want me, you’re just gonna have to say it.”

      That’s basically my thing too, must be a Fire Venus thing, but my Piscean subtlety gets in the way of them getting the message.

      Venus in Aries with Moon, Mars, Rising, plus a bunch of out Capricorn planets constantly sabotaging my love life. Fuq that. I’ll try it a la Sadge, with joy being the sole purpose.
      Thank you, fallen angel!

        • Are you joking Steph? Piscean energy has it’s own intuitive strategy, it’s one of the most womanly push-pull come hithery influences ever. Though way more used to covert operations than the somewhat laissez faire habits of our horny Centaur friend Saggo.

          But yes, I’m going for the Joy with Gusto. That and I am flipping tired of analyzing wtf these men think when I KNOW for a fact they probably got up, ate a bowl of cereal, went about their day and had a few lightning moments of thinking about moi.. not that it’s any less value.

          Point is, I don’t want to miss out on MY life just right now. Now if they want to make any of those thoughts a reality..all the better ;)

    • ‘just friends vortex’ omg :-) my spaceship been circlin’ that landing pad forevah, it seems.

  6. **Who is starting to dabble in something a little bit more exotic than **usual, like a new kind of relationship-cuisine?

    Cyberchat … Never tried it before but it’s proving quite interesting and erotic for me.

      • Nope. In Virgo. No Aqua in my chart. It’s clean and there’s no risk the other person is a dud. Really it’s just interactive porn, not s*x at all.

  7. Oh, and speaking of JOY, is this the perfect Venus in Sagg gift or what? To all of you who are familiar with my Sewer Saga, an update: He is leaving the country to move to Abu Dhabi.

    Pause.

    A sex addict in Abu Dhabi. Imagine that. I feel like Christmas finally came and the Northern skies above shall no longer bear the Dark Mark. Sigh.

    • I wil admit to nearly cracking my head on my desk i laughed so hard at this…. A scorp Sex addict – in the middle east. Oh yeah, International Relations is gonna be interesting!

    • I KNOW!!! I felt like accosting random strangers on the street and shaking them silly with my good news.

      Thanks, darlings! Yes, Postmod, my thoughts precisely. The UAE where you would need a foreign server to skim internet porn, and where if caught in some compromising position, they are bound by mores to make an example of you.

      And the icing on the cake? Is the reality that even THAT far, his long clinging Cappo (soz no reflection on the sign) will STILL be flying over to claim her mandatory 2 weeks of holidays with him. Oh, glee.

      I had a run on the track yesterday and finally felt the blush of forgiveness finally creeping, and the air is so SO clear. Not surprisingly, I’m sick today I’m sure from emo-processing.

      If I were any better, it would be Party On for sure! xx

  8. Well I am momentarily much less concerned re a certain person, and he has consequently started making an effort, of sorts. But that began in the dying days of V in Scorp, (we both have Venus in Taurus).
    I’m sure given my gem sun Leo mars and his Aries sun aqua mars that broadly Venus in sagg will be simpler.
    Really though it is me not making any effort beyond being at his beck and call that is simplifying matters.

  9. How Sadge Venus!!! Just as Venus was going into Sadge, was having a long phone convo, and coming to an agreement as to when and where he & I were gonna have our holiday, which is also a reunion.
    So after the obligatory calling each other retard and dickhead to preserve the friendship, we decided to meet in between, instead of having one come to see the other in either London or Melbourne.

    Travel, culture, expansion. :)

    • Sounds like you have a way cool piece of excitement brewing away there UPV. Is this the same one you’ve obliquely referred to for a while? With the sun/north node thing?
      Oh god I feel like such a gossiping girl, which ain’t really me, but anyway, do tell!

      • omg, yes! And through coincidences, well, synchronicities (or Jung would spank me), it ended up that it’ll be 8 days, including a new moon in Taurus, which I’ll celebrate by sitting and just ‘being’ at Borobudur.
        Last day of April and first week in May.
        He actually picked the week, which turned out to be the best week for both concerned.
        You should’ve heard the phone convo…. everytime each of us kinda went over the friendship boundary, the other would pick the slack right up – we are too good as each’s wingman! :lol:
        Not to be up myself, but methinks you might’ve enjoyed listening in, for all the jokes and insults at the very least, if not for the thinly veiled ‘stuffs’, hehehe…

        • Sounds ace. I do love a bit of thinly veiled banter, but well I’m way to polite to listen in to such things!
          :)

            • :lol: at FA! Then you defo would’ve enjoyed it! All that banter AND sex talk, but of course, never about sex with each other. ;)

            • I’m not either. Thinly veiled banter is always interesting whether as a fly incognito or as part of the convo. ;)

              Sounds like fun times UPV

              • Wouldn’t mind having you and FA as either flies on the wall or behind doors giggling or under invisibility cloaks, Herby. :D
                Yeah, am very much looking forward to just absorbing the energy as I sit on one of Borobudur’s many nooks and crannies. Was planning to be there for the Wesak festival and full moon at end of May, but hey, ain’t complaining!

              • LOL UPV. I think I’d prefer to be behind the door giggling or under an invisibility cloak just in case you try to squish me if I’m a fly. Thanks for offering the alternative options *LOL* :D

              • Really, I would have to be holding back a witty come back @ opportune moments, though as is my habit during covert operations, would remain silent as the grave.

                The bonus? I am FAB @ third party post convo analysis and could probably uncover hidden childhood secrets from the dynamic. Only if asked of course…

              • Oh FA I’d be so asking you to analyse the conversation that we listen to during the covert operation. This is going to be a very fun outing *LOL*

                I’m a giggler too BTW so we might get found out ;)

  10. Natal Sagg Venus

    Pulling = “Lets trip out in the pool naked under the stars” springs to mind.

    ‘globe trotting for love’ BIG TIC!

    Met the Sagg Sun, Mars x hubby while holidaying in Sydney, this was after I visited the Leo in Melbs. Leo was the whole reason for holiday to Oz btw. X Sagg hubby and I proceed to hook up all over the world for the next three years..him in the states, me in oz, us in Europe, mile high club you name it, the globe was our oyster!! We got hitched after all this and settled into suburban life in Sydney. Then along came our lovely Virgo(Leo everything else) and Sagg daughters. Both girls have heaps of frequent flyer miles I might add..

    At least the current love is only a 1.20 flight away.

    Oh…and the Dutch guy in the 80s.

    • Was thinking about a similar watery theme of pulling today CF. I was gonna offer a skinny dip to current beau the sparkly gem/crab. i’m no saogg but feeling that way. This beau has cured me of the tortured crab ex . Finally after a year of trying he is out of my head. its like an emotional lobotomy and feels great. Bring on V in Sagg Love it

  11. At the beginning of Venus Retro, in October, I met someone that has intrigued me to no end… (and the attraction is mutual, I am happy to say…) But seeing as we’re both Leos, – he with a massive conjunction of Mars, Venus, Jupiter in Cancer, me with a good dose of discriminating Virgo – we’ve both been playing …”hard to get” I guess we’d call it??… In any case, since Sagittarius entered Venus it has all taken on a much lighter, less obsessive twist…I am happy to say that if the ego/pride/”I’m an alpha not beta male” ploys continue on his part -although I KNOW he is head over heels for me- I am contemplating polyamory for the coming months, without the slightest moral compunction.

  12. Oh is this supposed to be fun? I have yet to see it.

    Maybe Saturn is too heavily upon me to enjoy this Venus transit? Maybe because I am natal Venus in Virgo, Saturn in the 7th, and Moon in Scorpio that anything light and fluffy seems like an utter waste of my time? I’m still emo-ing over my losses and going to channel my pain into working extra hard. (Saturn girl is probably excited over me writing that! LOL!) Even the idea of dating someone new and “fun” sours my stomach. At least for now, money will be my salve for heart ache and my bed-partner will be extra learning books.

    • Yes, Year of the Fox! I’m just the same. I’m all for getting to know people, but most times when introduced to someone who is supposed to be potential relationship material, I know right away whether I’d be interested in them or not. Completely unfair on my part since I’m not even giving them a chance, but that’s just how I am and have little patience for those who tell me I should lower my standards and date “for the sake of dating”. Indeed, it is NOT fun and requires a lot of energy and work that I would rather put into career or academic pursuits. If you’re looking for bedtime reading your Scorp Moon might enjoy “Death with Interuptions” by Jose Saramago. It’s all about what happens in one ficticious country when death takes a holiday and as a result people are unable to die. Death is personified as a woman and by the end of the story she falls in love, but it’s not your average hearts-n-flowers romance.

      • Oh my god, people who say ‘you don’t have a boyfriend? maybe you’re being too picky’ should be shot, or at least taught some bloody respect. That shit does my head in.

        • ha totally. my area I grew up in is exactly like that and I take great delight at laughing at them when I go back and they ask if I am OK??> like I am going to fall over from lack of self worth unless someone puts a ring on my finger.

        • Chiming in here ! A gal I know well once told me to go for a guy because ‘he’s fuquable.’ EXCUSE ME ? Insulting to the both myself and the gentleman. I was rendered speechless at the complete lack of tact from Libra gal. I have Venus conjunct Jup in Leo and I will bloody well make love when my heart tells me I am in love~ otherwise shut yer trap !
          This comes complete with a warning: Any frigid comments will result in violence. LOL

          • I lived in an area where there were lots of available men living and less women. It was very weird when my ex and I broke up. I had several men react very angrily when I turned them down, calling me frigid. It was like being hunted by wolves. Unless you were partnered up you were fair game. It made me realise how dangerous the world would have been for unmarried women a few hundred years ago (or still is in many parts). It made me realise that men (even really progressive, nice seeming, educated men) often in a different environment have the mores of a lowland gorilla. Frigid is a serious term as it implies you should have sex when you are not ready, therefore very abusive conceptually to me now.

            • That’s interesting, Andie, and a sad commentary on the state of dating and mating. With apologizes to any men here, a trained professional in relationship matters told me the majority of men don’t waste any time finding the next (ahem) partner.
              Women tend to mourn the relationship longer and be choosier with mates. Some of which is biological unconscious behavior, I am sure. In my experience, the frigid comment usually comes up as a knee-jerk response to a refusal, or perhaps in the case of my ‘friend’ some sort of competitive wankery.

      • The book recc sounds intriguing. I will give it a shot once I’ve cleared my current queque! Thank you!

        • i’m sorry where is that? dating for the sake of dating? i am too lazy to look for the quote above but i am more than willing to provide a reactionary comment: YUK! I mean I say yes to a coffee or lunch invite if the person seems nice enough but when does that become “dating”? PS I hate that word!
          Imagine the painful hours wasted listening to some guy or forcing yourself to be polite when all you want to do is go home, give yourself a pedicure and watch Office Space for the 5th time (ahem). And stringing the dude (/ dudette) along. Give me Scrubs re-runs anyday!

          signed, hermit pisces

  13. Since I have a horrible Saturn opposition Venus transit, I’m taking a new strategy, when a woman wants to have sex, I say no. Since she’s my ex, the alcoholic Virgo, that makes it a lot easier.

    • ;) Your strategy sounds brilliant, Charles! But you COULD circulate a bit more, you know. Perhaps beyond the periphery of your recent past?

      • Working on getting in circulation. Alas, I have been really sick for the last month and have barely been out of bed, let alone my house. And I can’t really stop the ex from knocking on my door, since she lives in my building.

  14. Re venus sagg- I have no cheesy techniques, I like- I go. I am fairly A sexual atm though and feeling much the arm wrestle of travel freedom roam vibe vs saturn mapping. I am terrible at hiding interest in people, usually because I am bored by most things that anything pinging my interest gets a wallop of it.

    Confessing I like them or asking people out myself is usual, I tend to fancy people more I hit on (though I have often wondered if this is some kind of control thing) and I am super candid about all things sex and attraction. personal FEELINGS come under scorpio deadlock and the whole trust thing runs on different level. Usually you have plenty of time to prepare for them to develop and I would probably say that to them at some point in passing and forget until they bring it up later. Ditch anything stalkery or needy, go for rad breeze and lots of honesty.

  15. when I just started school, kiss chasey was the coolest thing out. as I was the best runner at school, I would have had to pretend I couldn’t run so I wouldn’t let the guys catch me unless they could. One particularly aggressive boy was yelling that I wasn’t playing the game correctly so I yelled if you can’t catch me you can;t have me, its kind of true still. dating philosophy atlanta?

  16. Yes, definitely trying the new in friendships (because it’s Mars in Aqua, not so much for partnerships, at least for me). I almost forgot we’re still in Capricorn, nearing a Full Moon in Cancer. Nostalgia or getting to know those other 250+ Facebook friends? I’ll go with the latter.

  17. Will be traveling a lot, that is my V in Sagg adventure. I wonder what kind of experiences will come back with me :-)

  18. have absolutely no idea, a-sexual, stress head, mars chaos has blinded any concept of venusian anything… just feel jealous reading above insights… practicing sage-acious intimacy with breath only…

  19. OK loving the vibe – I have been romanced by a few Sagg Veno’s and their technique is: don’t leave subject alone! Call, text, organise things – any thing – have sex on the first date, then, whatever.

    One Question though: does it make you fat?
    My appetite is out of control! I don’t care what I eat, wear – everything is experimental and breezy.

    Good fun though!

  20. Been making the first contact, asking for what I want in or out of the sack. Keeping it light & fun, it’s about the body & the head NOT the heart that’s having a rest. I’m actually considering having a few going at the same time just for the hell of it :) Never, ever would have entertained that idea in the past, only found the guts now. It’s coming from something internal, hormonal? Don’t know, not questioning it too much just going with it.

  21. Am just feeling so much more playful and positive! I still have worry lines from Venus in Scorpio, but I think they might even go away.

    • mee too ! Cripes, all that stuff in Scorp really had me high-strung ! Interestingly, my ex has sag stellium which includes Venus, when we had a tiff, he actually apologized. This is not a common occurence. Chalk it up to Venus…feeling generous, I guess. ha

      • Good for you, an apology from a Sagg is often heartfelt or they wouldn’t bother I reckon! Go Team Venus – I reckon I can hop on board that team :) .

  22. How do, curious people!

    Aha…So the question is how to flag the interest of a venus in sagg. creature…?? Voila! Playfulness in spades, not a ‘giggly-goo-tickle-me’ kind but rather the one which is ‘raquets-up!-with-a-grand-slam-thanking-you mam/man!’ Cue in laughter, uncomplicated breezy hair, sporting activities, sailing, dancing on the stage in a foreign locale, laughter in the bedroom, fast cars zooming up an unknown coast, horse-riding with others who speak in accents, polo and more laughter….IF you fall off your horse!
    *Who said you couldn’t look any better than having a twinkle in your eye and a flush of exotica…Next time when the sop next to you wants to hold your hand, why don’t you swat him with a tennis racquet and get the match going! It’s why they call it 15 L-0-V-E!!…
    signed yours truly S.
    (natal venus in sagittarius)
    p.s.. “It may be that the satisfaction I need depends on my going away, so that when I’ve gone and come back, I’ll find it at home”…..AIDios, Aurevoir, Bon Voyage!

  23. Natally I have Saturn square my Venus so love life is always a challenge.

    Globetrotting for love? Yes please!!! Sounds delightful.

  24. nope. Mars in aqua wins hands down. Libido is on some asteroid or something ie Out Of Range… not Roaming! And no, Venus don’t got voicemail.

  25. will have to read thru above later – square eyes from screen staring all day … soz *blink, focus, blink* …. (insert Barista’s goggle eyes, dunno how…)

    it’s like being reborn – although the new vibe ebbed here well prior to Jan 8.

    Le Ram pursued work related travels, whilst pursuing work related dalliances. aside from his ex, I remain the ONLY non-industry-related romance…. really he outta try harder but apparently getting it on when drunk after work is endemic in that industry – anyways – forgot about him entirely. his rhetoric & diatribe resonated as just that. hackneyed & old & tres ‘has been’. during the holidays he gate-crashed a fun day I was having that ended me & friends at his compound. yeah yeah yeah one for the road & all, but way past used by date. his brain is fried. seriously, actually fried.

    speaking of actual fun – is all light n breezy & defo the new love paradigm is insitu. loving new options. & boy (man) are there options ;-) – LOVE IT!!

    so to conclude the futility of Le Ram years (all 8 of them) – he can have the new 12 (24) year old object de lust. couldn’t give a flock. seriously. & his number’s programmed to ring as ‘silent’. perfect. out of mind. out of site. straight to VM…. seeya!! next :-)!!

    meanwhile suitors hover in the peripheral & appear at random keeping moi well entertained at unexpected moments but free & available to massage Le Grande Plan into launch phase. perfect. entertainment but not distraction.

    bring it on ….!! xox

  26. Yup, natal Venus in Sag. Lib sun verging on Scorp

    Re: pulling power- it only seems to work when I’m truly not trying to…am in my own happy little groove. Is non attachment a Venus in Sagg mild super power?

    If I do like someone my attempts at flirting feel clunky so usually end up seeing who shows interest in me and then do a shagability assessment from there. Could be limiting…

  27. I’m a multi conjunct Capricorn with a heavy dose of fire (Sagg Venus and Asc, Leo moon).
    When it comes to my Venus re: love and relationships, I always feel the need to be with someone. Whether it’s in a committed relationship or we’re just fooling around, I have had a guy fairly constantly since I was 16 (now 22).
    I do long-term relationships really, really well up until the first year or two. And then I get bored…. it never fails to give me a wandering eye.
    Now that I think about it, even when in a relationship, I always have a wandering eye. It’s kind of because I cast out little flirting lines, in the hopes that if I need to, I can always tug on it and pull someone in.
    The problem is I have cast way too many lines in the water. Especially when I don’t really need them.
    In summary, my Cap ways love a good serious relationship, which is quite at odds with my Sagg venus that loves the free life and a good flirting match.

    • That’s very self-aware of you MB. And very honest. I too suffer the wandering eye but never act on it. Think that’s Venus in Virgo for me.

      PS: You’re still young :) I’m almost 10 years older than you and have been a relationship since I was 18. My advice: relationships are awesome but there’s no need to rush. Your 20s are for enjoying life and learning who you are. (Not that I’d change anything about the last decade of my life)

  28. Y.E.S que sera sera, whatevs. Feel good, still loving this whole potential dating on another continent thing and SO focused on my university applications/career/moving cities thing I simply don’t have time for anything intense. My Sag stellium is loving this after all that deep Scorpio trawling, maaaaaaaaaaaaan that was hard.

  29. Laughter very important. Ditto friendship. Jealousy a no-no. Wandering eye for sure. Love for all (tres cosmic). Lots of adventure please…! Nothing boring or same old same old. Mix it up. Foreigners are very sexy.

  30. *Raises hand in air*

    I have lightened the hell up over my crush relationship that dragged on last year. It’s her birthday today and I haven’t even attempted to make contact or wish her a happy one. Have to admit I did wonder whether I should but after discussing it with my sensible inner voice (yes, I talk to myself), I decided that it wouldn’t do any good. I’d only seem like a crazy stalker and it would take energy away from the beautiful relationship I have with my darling Toro.

    Besides I don’t think Capquarians are into sentimental crap like that. Think they are far too serious ;) [that’s not meant to be offensive … nothing wrong with being serious … but those of us who aren’t ruled by Master Saturn have to remember that he can have a stern influence]

    • Whoops, today’s only the 19th January. Still 2 days to go. But still not going to go there … And won’t change my mind. Wonder why I thought it was already the 21st today.

    • *Nothing* wrong with talking with yourself, Herby. It’s called being self-sufficient, and one is not at the mercy of having to have other people around all the time just for discussions.

      And totes bravo for moving on from a crush relationship. When I was in high school I had one for near three years and it was muy intense, so can relate to the initial difficulty of moving forward from it. Very real at the time though, innit?
      But that’s what Pisces moon can do for us hey?

      • Oh yeah! Totally real at the time. And excrutiatingly painful too. Am happy to be moving on though. :D

        Is it my Pisces Moon that is to blame? That makes sense to me.

        • Yeah, I reckon it’s having Pisces moon. Well, I’m biased coz it’s mine too, but after I read Mystic’s Luna Luxe and it mentioned a crush-lust phase with added unavailability and I was like, huh, yep, she got it there……

  31. Sadly, I’m experiencing the exact opposite of Venus in Sadge.

    My “gentle” breakup with the Leo ex of 5 years…which thus far has consisted of: him “moving out” but still being at my house everyday til I found a roomie(that period lasted about 2 months), then him still being around most of the week after he & roomie got along like gangbusters,to him feeling obligated to be around due to the holidays, to him just last week sticking a newknife in my heart by saying he wanted to date other people and had been wanting to be”free” since 2007.
    Something about it clicked this time and cue “Omg, I can’t believe this could really be the end” full on emo-freakout on my end.
    I’m devastated, heartbroken, depressed and damn near suicidal. On top of that…sick, starting a new job, and getting dumped on by “friends.” I just want it all to end. I miss him terribly..and tho we still see each other/talk, it has cut WAY down and well…I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.
    I still want us to be together…but know that now is not the right time.

    Thoughts? advice? cold water?

    • DM, I am so sorry. You have good reason to be upset, what you describe is heartbreaking. It sounds like you were hoping to pull your relationship out of trouble right to the end, (or what sounds like the end) and that is admirable. It feels like you have lost your best friend because you have lost someone so very close to you. You have not, however, lost your VERY best friend, who is YOU. Seek someone in your area to talk to and give you a hand up out of what would be a very sad place for anyone. Something similar happened to me, an I know how very rough it can be. I am sending you hugs and good vibes. What helped me in the short term was to have anything to look forward to, be it a bath with fancy soap, mac and cheese or a take home movie. Take good care x

    • Dude. This is like growing pains. It hurts now but something better is on the horizon. For sure. Five years is ages, david bowie wrote a song about it, and I’m sure your routine/timetable has some empty squares in there where Leo-time used to be. But it’s all good. I’d recommend you distract yourself hey, until the shock wears off. Pick up roller derby or punch shit. It probably hadn’t registered yet but the Leo sounds a bit mean. Sounds like you need comfort so look to what your moon sign needs.

      • he’s not mean at all, actually. He’s been very loving throughout this. The bitch of it is, we’re in different places. He’s already been thru it, flew away to a tropical island for a month, got his head cleared…and I’ve been stuck here in the muck with shit jobs and shit friends. So it’s no surprise he’s more over it and I’m sad.

        I do like the punching shit idea, though…I just an hour ago checked out a gym that’s all about personal training.

        Moon in Virgo…so I probably comfort myself with health stuff, right? Sounds right, cuz I recently: started a fitness challenge, bought new gym equipment, started a new diet, took up yoga again, got acupuncture, and re-started my ayurvedic herbs. :)

  32. I am so sorry DM. I was like that most of last year.
    But am so much better than where I was last year at this time.
    Although I tend to have cycles of nightmares about him.
    Puts him on my mind again. It does get better over time though.
    Unfortunately it is a process you have to go through.
    And no one can skip it. Don’t rush through it or you will get stuck.

  33. Thanx so much for the very kind comments. What makes this so hard too, is that I feel like it’s mostly my fault. He was the caretaker in our relationship, because I was in a very weak state when we got together…sick, broke, jobless. I have come very far since then, but have had health & money problems throughout. I really didn’t try hard enough to change them…I was very blocked. He felt he always had to nag me about them, which made me less likely to change. Ironically, in the 5 months since we’ve been apart, I’ve come further with my finances than I did in the entire 5 years together. But he now feels emotionally exhausted and spent from our constant struggles.

    There has been tons of love and good things in the relationship too, which kept us together for so long. He also has been a serial monogamist…never single. So…he wants his freedom and to focus on himself for awhile. I need to focus on myself to finally resolve these $/career/health/general happiness issues. I know he still loves me…but he’s in a different, better place than I am right now. I am clinging to the relationship. Hence, the puddle of sad. I still hope we end up together as whole people…he’s possibly the best person I’ve ever met.

    • I understand your sadness. I left my husband of 23 yrs a few years ago. I was in your Leo’s shoes – propping up husband. Eventually it exhausted me and eroded my love for him. It was only in a year apart that he made changes that had me thinking – this isn’t the guy I was married to. I think we could make things work, but within 2 wks of getting back together he slipped again. My Mum made the comment recently that he loved me to distraction – distracted from other areas of his life he should have been attending to. Anyway so we separated again after 1.5yrs and once again he has pushed himself to do things he never did while we together.

      I’ve been driven by inner belief that we each needed to be with other people as we weren’t supporting each other to reach our full potential. Three months ago he severed contact as he needed to break away from me emotionally. He told me recently he’s seeing someone and that forced me to turn, see and be overwhelmed by the tsunami of pain that’s been right there all the time but I’d refused to look at it.

      I am pleased for him, I know it’s good for him but cried and ached for all the sad years. Then, the realisation that I do still love him actually brought an amazing sense of calm and lightness that has seeped into my bones.

      Saw him this week and is so good to be in touch again. I can see the man I knew and also this other delightful creature who has a far greater awareness of the world now (little things like the full moon), lives with a sense of humour, has developed patience, knows how to enjoy life. It is extraordinary and wonderful to see.

      I too have been looking at and working on myself and have made great progress. I said to him that maybe when we’re in out 70s/80s we should contact each other to see if we’re on our own and if so could live in the old age home together. He’d be such a gorgeous companion – gentle, romantic, funny.

      For some of us it is only these crises and painful experiences that make us grow as humans. I’ve learned that true love is not a selfish love and it will endure.

      • Thx, riverwalker, that is a beautiful (and sad) story. It does sound very similar to my experience…maybe together you tended to focus too much on the other person as a distraction from working on yourselves. That has also been our problem…he also doesn’t live up to his full potential and tended to get caught up in petty concerns. So this is really his opportunity to stoke his own fire.
        He’s open to getting back together later…if it feels right. “Time will tell”…he keeps saying.
        I get it all logically, but emotionally I’m in a very painful place. But working through it…

        • Yes DM, you’ve captured it. It is so painful, almost more-so because you get it logically. Working through it is the best thing to do. I send you love.

        • From what I read here DM you sound like you know exactly what you are doing and have great self-awareness. If you are meant to be together you will be. Just relax and let the pain wash over you and through you, it’s like fighting the ocean otherwise. Good luck gorgeous!

  34. Sag Venus Natal – I’m rubbish at long-term relationships, very fun oriented, but as a Scorp Sun I take this very seriously. It’s as if I have to know the person I’m with is committed to having tremendous amounts of fun and adventure with me and only me and that I need lots of space and will not under any circumstances be controlled.

    I am flirty generally but go a bit OTT when in heat. But again, push peeps quite far to ensure they’re up to the task of being with me.

      • eh, kind of. getting there. its a long story. but I am ok, getting medicated and looking after myself. not as bad as it could be. xxxxx
        send love too