Breaking Up (With A Taurus) Is Hard To Do

Filed in Astro-Query, Taurus

Daniela Edberg

” Dear Mystic,

As a triple Libra, being reasonable is somewhat of a religion with me. It may be a cliche but i am most often the peacemaker in my group of friends and my job is actually in the conflict resolution field. So i was somewhat surprised when after a recent (i thought) amicable break up with a Taurus guy, to get a really crazy letter from him that contained an invoice (!) for all the money he had spent on me, some stuff he left at my house and the petrol he had spent coming over to see me. These are just examples. This is like a ten page document with attached photocopies of recepits and a spreadsheet…he is a lawyer but STILL WTF?

This is really fuqing with my mind and i am experiencing what can only be described as violent urges towards him, quite alien to me, i assure you. Now this is not a legal demand and he assures me that he is not taking legal action against me as, well, he can’t. But Taurus Lawyer says NOTHING of the reasons i dropped him (stingy, begrudging, obsessed with the apparent prestige of his stupid family, boring in bed, pompous – not that he knows all of these) but just that as the relationship has failed to live up to his expectations, he is seeking some redress for his expenses over the past year.

My question: Is this normal for Taurus men?  Is this at all normal for anyone? I am so stressed out and freaked out by this (at one point i really adored Taurus Lawyer, thought he was The One etc) that i have just gone and booked a two hour massage, even though i hate to be touched by anyone not a lover or my beautician. I need something to stop my rage, tension and confusion. Please Help!

The Libran PreRaphaelite “

Dear Libran PreRaphaelite,

Actually, I had a Libran friend at school whose Scorpio mother issued her with just such a bill when she turned 18. Only it was from when my friend had been adopted, at age two. Scorpio Mom did not expect payment but she wanted her expenses seen and acknowledged. And yes, they were itemized.

Okay my thoughts:  You had a lucky escape. Imagine if you were married to Taurus Lawyer. Or living with him and getting invoices every week.

Get the massage. It will be good for you. And you either ignore the whole thing, just keep being fabulous Libran PreRaphaelite, resolving conflict where-ever you go OR you send him an invoice back.  You could conceivably bill him for sex, your transport fees, cosmetics, waxing and the cost of your massages to de-kink your clenched jaw from having to read all his drivel.

Taureans do tend to act out emotions via their stuff. They don’t like it being messed with and well, maybe this is actually is screwed up way of saying he loves you and he did invest a lot of feelings and hopes in you? Could it be a joke?

What do other people think?

84 thoughts on “Breaking Up (With A Taurus) Is Hard To Do

  1. Shred the invoice and letter, then burn them then post the ash to him or throw it to the four winds seeking release.

    Keep getting those massages, aromatherapy, spa retreats, Cranberry Champagne etc etc.

    I agree with Mystic = you made a lucky escape because the LEGAL ramifications would’ve been set in concrete if you’d married the BULL.

  2. This is hillarious! I’m so sorry, but it is so funny. What a total CREEP! From personal experience, there is nothing better than an ex-lover behaving like a total tool in order to help you get over them… know what i mean? Breathe a sigh of releif, be glad you are a gorgeous libran lovely, and don’t, for godsake, take on any of his crap!
    it may not feel possible now, but wow, this is going to be such a funny funny story later down the track…. your lucky escape ;-)

  3. Coming from a lunatic…………that just takes crazy to a whole new level. Embrace the joy of this near miss of what would have been a friggin shit fest of epic proportions!

    Go sniff some frankincense and celebrate your new life, free of THAT.

  4. This is not normal for ANYONE!! Eep….he’s making us taureans look bad dammit :(

    Love the pic – that could sooooo be me!

    • I know! Am so affronted that he could put on such a low-Taurus display … makes me feel all snooty … rise above Libran Preraphaelite … dignity will reign again with time and silence …

      at least am trying to tell myself that …

  5. Actually i have an Uncle who told his two daugthers when they were 12-ish, that he kept a book of their expenses, and would add ”if you really want it, i’ll put it in the book”, to any request, it wasn”t till a good year or so later, when one of them mentioned it, that we told them he was joking , i do love him dearly, yes, but he’s Taurean.

    I would have looked around for the camera’s !

    I hope your 2 hour masage helped release the bull crap .

  6. I think you should frame it. Because in a couple of years it’ll be one of the funniest stories ever. I know it must be awful now though. Just try to breath and keep in mind that he’s just hurt because you’re totally awesome and walked away from him.

    • couldn’t agree more. frame it! show all your (mutual) friends.

      I actually think this was a hugely misplaced attempt at smarty-pants irony, a thing that I’ve seen happen in other low-type Taureans, who generally I LOVE, but sometimes they just get it sooo wrong.

      Had my own run-in with a ‘that’ll teach you a lesson’ type of nasty Taurus, which unfortunately for him, forced me into a position to reveal his behaviour and power-trip attempt to a lot of important peeps (in order for it to be corrected, I wouldn’t normally retaliate to such things but he screwed with a matter of intense urgency…) and he ended up so red faced and professionally embarrassed that I think his public and self image has never recovered.

      So I’m going with Pip’s advice here. PreRaphaelite has already won.

  7. Ugh, how gross. I’m a Taurus and I don’t really that much of a crap about money, even though I do value it and understand its power and all, but it just should not play into relationships (unless they’re married and have a joint account, live under the same house, etc.). I understand his meaning, but it’s just tacky and insulting. He’s basically implying that she’s a prostitute, and in a negative way.

    If he does miss her and that’s his way of showing it, he doesn’t deserve a real woman. Shoud’ve saved that money and gotten himself a fembot.

  8. What an arse. Think of the time he spent on that. Does he not have anything better to do? Obviously he’s not happy about being rejected. Hilarious!

  9. Tell him to stuff his invoice where the sun don’t shine and if he can’t, offer to do it for him with the sharp end of a pineapple. It’s not Taurean, I know, but when I split up with my Sag boyfriend, he wanted me to pay him full whack for whatever of our property I kept so he wasn’t out of pocket when he replaced stuff. We negotiated that I’d pay half the cost of whatever I kept, given it was now second-hand. But guess what? We had an agreed price for a camera and I sold it for less, and paid him the half of what I’d got. And then the stingy bastard told me I still owed him $25 as we’d had an agreed price. What a tightwad! No wonder we split up, he was obsessed with money. This lousy Taurean has brought back all those memories of how I really wanted to rip his head off!

  10. My mother is Taurus and she has a thing about leaving the price tags on gifts. If it is on sale, she removes the sale tag and keeps the original price on. But only for loved ones. We think it is something about trying to show us a monetary value of how much she loves us, cos maybe it is more tangible than love without a price tag? Maybe your Taurus was invoicing his feelings? xx

  11. Wow it is just break up time big time out there (and me) or is it just me seeing it. I am constantly hearing about splits lately, haven’t heard anything about a hot new romance for ages.

    Good luck to you girl, and thank your lucky stars you got out of that one. I would do a letting go ritual also just incase. But I too am a libran and do not like discord even in over relationships.

    Poor guy though wonder what place that came from and wonder what he thinks about it now. I would definately not respond, let him deal with his issues, he may have needed to do it as a letting go ritual.

    Keep up the peace making

      • Thanks lovely, we grave peace like chocolate.
        I am sensing the beginnings of a persuit by a hot Taurus man, I have never really been around any. I am taking notes here – good Taurus male points (yep got it they sounds great) low taurus male warnings (yep noted) should be able to sense those coming out early! Learning growing – Love it!!!

  12. My theory on Taureans is that they fall into two camps: strong, silent , reliable, sexy, amazing (albeit with a bad juvenile sense of humour) or they are some of the most emotionally retarded, infantile, duplicitous , mean willed individuals out there. I grew up with the former and was shattered after I dated the later. Having said that ….. this guy sounds like he has psychological issues which may be bigger than being a crap Taurean

  13. … actually, it sounds like he is enacting that taurean ‘write it all down’ manner of compartmentalising, and I wonder if he has a virgo moon or something. It’s the purge letter/thesis he should have burnt … he’ll probably wake up in 6 months time and cringe with embarrassment …

  14. Had an ex (capricorn) send me something similar so i wrote him a very blunt letter listing all the reasons why i wouldnt be paying (him sleeping with another man) and payed him in monopoly money!

    • Oh, OK. If there is ONE and only ONE excuse to actually respond to this guy, then yes, it should absolutely be to pay him in monopoly money. Genius.

      But perhaps it only has really true impact on a Cap. Perhaps the Taurus gets chocolate coins our ‘the entertainment guide’ coupons.

    • Now that is just not true. We just know what things are worth. And I personally think I am at my most powerful when I am spending every last penny I have to my name. That makes me feel generous and powerful, even if I’m totally broke and only spending my last five cents (and that has been happening a lot, lately). I guess I feel the same way about passion, but I can’t think of an analogous situation, despite my numerous misadventures with crazy Miss Gemini. I guess my philosophy is Go For Broke. Maybe that’s my Leo ascendant in action.

      • definitely the leo ascendent. . . this penniless wastrel leo is constantly broke but constantly buying stupid things for any loved one. . . and of course for my own gorgeous self

  15. The sagg pilot was a tightwad. He often used to buy ONE coffee “to share” would you believe? He lived off me and in my house. he NEVER paid anything towards a bill, gas, electricity, internet, water, EVER!! When I mentioned this over the coffee shop interview he organised as relationship was in its death throes, he asked me to,…guess what!! He said he’d left his wallet in the car (something he did regularly) I told him to walk to the car and get it, or…do the cafes dishes. I refused to pay that last time. He finally GOT it. Income? 6X what I earn. His nick name? …”Gunna” He was always GUNNA do something fabulous. Never DID tho’ …LOL.
    You will eventually laugh, Libran !! AND YOU DESERVE BETTER..Burn it.

  16. Taurean men crave CONTROL. I think he is v upset that he is losing you and this is his attempt to try to at least control the way you go! I agree with Mystic, I think he still loves you but I don’t think you, as a lovely Libran, would thrive in a relationship like this. Keep being the beautiful peacemaker that you are and spend some time with some of your similarly peace-inclined, lovely friends.

  17. What a fuqing jerk wanker. Ignore it, he wants you to either get really mad or give into his demands. Yes like Mystic said, hold your head up and delete it lol…i dont have much experience with Taurus men, but this seems extreme.

    When I was 16, I broke up with an Aqua boy who i dated for a year in high school, two months after the break up (he cheated on me mind you) he was at my door step in a rage demanding that he wants his CDs back (he had given them to me as presents over the year) couldnt believe it, but I did give them back to him. A few weeks later he called me and told me he was just angry and hurt that i left him and that i can have the CDs back and can we get back together? My answer was NO and NO

    • I agree, just turn away from it and give it no more oxygen. And never ever let him know that you paid as much attention to it as you have. And if you ever bump into him, deny that you can even recall it’s existence. You could tell him that you must have thrown it away with the rest of the junk mail, but I wouldn’t even give it that much acknowledgement.

      • I like what you are saying about not giving it that much acknowledgement, I think they thrive on that and their only tie to you is through money, well they will either ask you for it or not pay it back to keep you around asking, and the more stressed you get the better they feel because it shows they are still affecting you and therefore you must care about them. Warped but true.

  18. That is so effing nuts.
    I agree with Firey Bovine, it seems like the kinda thing you write after you break up with someone… but you never send to them… although, photocopies? WEIRD!

    Letters like that are so funny. They should end with: P.S. This is a trap.

    Don’t reply.

    Stay serene. Good luck!

  19. I love Mystics idea of a return itemized bill. At the bottom you could put.. “Total cost of being in a relationship with XXX = $$$$…….
    “Knowing I escaped marrying someone with such odd ball psycho bats issues? Priceless.”

    :)

  20. Your post is giving me chill bumps. I think I dated this very same Taurus lawyer. And, based on that, I think he would concede to pay you for sex. So try it. Just make it zero out—or possibly add up to a wee bit more so you get a refund and not him! But I’m a Virgo, not a Libra. You might want to make it zero out. I, myself, would feel compelled to charge him for the very boring sex. A waste of my time and effort.

  21. Scan it and put it online for the whole world to laugh at. Make sure you leave his full name, number and what law firm he works for.
    Very immature, yes? Funny as hell- definiately!
    (at least laugh at the thought of his embarrassment.)
    He would look unprofessional to his colleagues, and future clients.

    But, seriously you should take the high road. Ignore it and him. (I’d scan and save the letter though in case he starts harassing you. You’ll need proof to show the courts.)

    You dodged that bullet. What a pompous ass.

    • How could he not? The score is written in scars torn into his leathery hide. Everyone can see it.

  22. Ugh. Still reeling. I cannot believe how your story parallels mine, down to minute detail. I think I need a massage…

    I do think you are better off now. You were right to break up. Believe me, I had to do the same thing. “Pompous Ass” became the name I called him inside my head, toward the end.

  23. Augh!!! I still have daymares and shudder with repulsion when I think about my
    crazy taurus ex. I don’t have time to mention all the pathetic control drama he attempted after I broke it off, but one email I received many months after wards said “when your current love affair goes up in flames, as we both know it will, I will still be waiting for you.” What a lurker.

    • That is priceless, his self delusion is incredible. These guys need to be wearing signs for fug sake so we can run away.

  24. LOL I found this so ridiculous it was funny. My Taurus ex was always very generous..right up to his marriage when new wife didn’t like him giving all his money to me (understandable). Of course, when she tried to have him cut the child support in half, she had to learn that, no, court documents of settlement are not *suggestions* of amount of payment, as she thought.

    I think Mystic has got it right. So really nothing to add. Actually, I had a LIBRA lover who tried something like this with me, and I merely told him I did not ask for the gift he was trying to get his money back on, so why would I pay for it now that I broke up with him? That his choices were his own and I wasn’t responsible for them. And that when I give something, it’s free, no strings. That a gift isn’t a gift if there’s payment expected. (Yes, I went on and on with him as I was shocked at his audacity.)

  25. As Taurus Venus ~investment~ thing was huge at a point. Still, he’s blaming ~you~ on you and billing you for it. Is hilarious tho. Perhaps this is the height of low Taurus.

  26. Wow.
    My forst reaction was actually relief I am not he only one whio has these unbelievable things happen to them….

    What a pent up guy…..
    Intimidation/unloading with no sense of self humour/emotional editing…..

    I agree…do what ever you have to do to stay the heck out of his processing…..but…in a few years you will see the hilarious side.

    Gas money?? Seriously? I have no language to sort out what he could be thinking. But just to summarise- a relationship is not a business.
    And regardless if you think it is…. keep your inside thoughts inside….

    I thinkyou should write your own creative purge letter about all the reasons you broke up with him, and then don’t give it to him…..do some creative Libran thing with it…..

    • Oh, and to answer your question, no- I don’t think it is normal. Or at least not good for you.

      Prolly he is someway trying to work out the emotions he did invest in you, and prolly he had no clue he even had any, so they are coming out all awkward wierd and (Taurus) heavy handed and money oriented, in a way, trying to hang on to something he “owned”…….
      He’s in break up mode and prolly his emotions are out of hand and surprising him.
      Def, take care of yourself. Keep your sanity- whatever you feel you need to do, do it…

      • Yes me too, I felt relief Im not the only one going through this having to deal with men like this! Its not normal, although they make it seem very normal.

  27. Haha, this really IS laughable. I hope you can process through your hurt and anger and see how ridiculous it is soon, Libra!

    I once got a fake restraining order…written in all this fake legalese and FED EXED to my house…from a Capricorn nutjob who had been harassing me for a year at the bar we both met at. It wasn’t til I started fighting back that he freaked out and send the fake letter. Hilarious, then and now. We ended up making peace and both laughing about that later. So all is not lost!

    As far as low Taureans…my recent ex-boss was one of these: “emotionally retarded, infantile, duplicitous , mean willed individuals out there.” And control freak to the max! SO SO SO glad to be out of that toxic situation.

    • Also recently escaped Taurean control freak ex-boss. Power games to the end and after – so.o.o. glad it’s over – but feel for those left behind in the toxic wasteland.

  28. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute….he wants to bill you for stuff he left at your house? Now this sounds a bit like my Taurean ex, he left his stuff at my house and wouldn’t come get it till I told him it was going out on the curb with the trash, and if he got to it before the garbage collectors… But then I’m just a scorpionic arien and not a graceful libran (y’all do seem so very graceful), so I will sting the hand that feeds me if it won’t come get its stuff.

    Charge him rent on his stuff.

  29. Further to Mystic’s comments re you billing him: he’s a lawyer, so he’d be comfortable with you billing your time in 6 minute increments. Phonecall for a minute = 6 minutes; text message for 30 secs (you reading) = 6 minutes.

  30. All I can say is revenge does not make you feel better.It makes you feel damn awful. So he must be feeling pretty low. We have all done things we are not proud of out of hurt. I am one of them and hope one day I can be forgiven. He will have to deal with the guilt. Trust me that will be enough punishment.

  31. I think it’s sad.

    Power plays, family, status, money – very Taurean. . . but this is extreme.

    . . . and I’m amazed that he has receipts . . . clearly, he’s either been keeping tally all along, or is really distressed by the act, and has rifled through all his bills etc to try to deal with the breakup and is acting up in such an autistic way. Perhaps recommend that he see a professional about his mental attitude before it ruins another relationship? . . . or walk away. . . whichever you feel is best.

  32. That’s terrible! How awful. It’s like he’s prostituting himself, making saleable products of his emotional output with it.. Unfortunately I don’t think he is joking, I think that he probably finds it hard to give and feels gutted right now. Feel sorry for him as he has to live like this, you are obviously a wonderful lesson for him, don’t let him become a lesson for you!

  33. I am going through a similar thing. I have been asking my (now ex!) for 3 months to sort out the money he owes me, he paid me a small amount and I pushed for more, so he made up these elaborate spreadsheets for his own calculations, he can do it when it suits him! So I get niggling over $10 here and there after I supported him for a while… the things he has done did hurt me, Ive been very stressed and agree with Mystic, I should bill him for the bad sex, antisocial behaivour, emotional abuse, massages, herbs etc for the healing costs involved!
    Im glad I have discovered this now and dont have kids, mortage or any ties whatsoever… so Im free now :)
    I also understand the anger urges towards them, I get that a lot and its hard to manage in myself. Thanks for your letter,

  34. Holy moly! My bovine souls shudders at that sort of ‘accounting’ for a past relationship. Though my Toro-rising ex did try & play a Lo-Bull money = power/control act on me during the break-up.

  35. My limited experience with the Taureans of the world is that they can over react a tad.. I have a Taurean sister who is all calm and in control until something triggers her flashpoint and soon everyone in the family knows about it.. seems like there is something about the Taurus over reaction in this chappies response.. although I too found it hilarious.. who would go to so much trouble?

    Recently my sister who moved to Ireland threw a tantrum because my older mother who is going over to visit was reluctant to bring her sewing machine over and would have been happier to buy her a new one.. the rest of us all were wondering wha tha.. but its about her emotional attachment to things and her stuff.. I think.

    Bewildering..

  36. Being Aqua I do find his actions very funny & would have rang him & said, “well done Bozo, bloody well done” and laughed, no, cackled in his ear then hung up. Where are all the bakelite phones you could really bang down? I think it’s unhealthy to deny ourselves of anger, it has a way of coming up in a rather ugly way elsewhere in your life. Or down the track on some poor unsuspecting person.

  37. FFS! Amazing. Ignore it totally, just don’t respond at all. You are sooo above this.

    I am very pleased that I actually managed to achieve a smooth handover of stuff with Pisces Ex recently. He still has my keys though … Hmmm.

  38. My twin sister (both of us Aquas, moon libra and constantly mixed up with Taurean men) had a Taurean boyfriend for many years. When they split, he brought out a book where he had been carefully annotating everything he had ever spent on her. Down to groceries, coffees and the occasional cigarette for the last couple of years. Then billed her accordingly. What annoyed my sister the most was that SHE had been the one with the job for all that time, but, of course had not been keeping score of what she spent on him.

      • No! She just moved a couple thousand kilometres away. However, everytime their paths cross for whatever reason, he still brings up the money…

        • I bet he does. Toro sister is quick to borrow money but if you’ve done the borrowing she’ll hound you for it. All the while having amnesia where her tab is concerned.

  39. It’s a shock when you think you have had an amicable breakup only to find your ex is still attached enough to pull such a stunt. He’s not ready to say good bye! That’s what the letter and invoice says to me.

    Consider all the time he spent composing it in his head, thinking about it, thinking about you! He’s still not only thinking of you but wanting to feel connected. Your anger (and his) may not be as ‘nice’ as other possible emotions to share but he wanted your attention, and he’s got it (and all of ours too!)

    Taurus, as an archetype, ‘owns’ what he loves. There is a feeling of possession, ‘mine’. The invoice is for what he feels he lost. Not the money, but the emotional investment. He’s trying to put a price tag on it, and get a response.

    If you want to continue this dialog, invoicing him back might be fun. If you want to let him go, then ‘creating no response’ is the quickest way to your next, much better match!

    Loved everyone’s responses! If I ever have a crappy breakup again, I’m coming here for help!

    :)

  40. My psycho-bats abusive ex-boyfriend tried to do something similar. He bought me a plane ticket (after I had bought a plane ticket) and then, when he was getting horrible and I wanted to go home, he tried to pull this, “no. I spent money to bring you here. You don’t have to have sex with me, but I bought your time.”

    Horror.

  41. I am so sorry that this has happened to you (concerning the taurus male) um…I do not believe it is his being a taurus that is the culprit here but his being a lawyer! I am a taurus and have several male taurus friends and with the exception of one taurus guy they are all really wonderful men! Write the jerk off or send him a bill of your own concerning what he owes you for all the good sex he had with you and charge him extra for being a boring and lousy lover…tell him it was like work f-ing him ha ha ha ha!

  42. Call it slightly horrifying, but I’m a Taurus, and while I’ve never been so gauche as to tell a romantic partner I’m doing this, more than once I’ve made a neat little budget showing how much I spent (gifts, hotel etc…) on my romantic relationship.

    Then again I’m one of those people to whom money really does equal happiness. Thank goodness I date a Leo who if he found out would probably preen and say he was worth every penny. ;)

  43. Ok, so two months later, but (if you’re like me) don’t most of us here enjoying reading everyone else’s comments past and current as well as everything else on this site? One look at that bull and I pretty much called it.

    Memories of Mr. Capricorn, Scorpio Moon, Taurus rising. Must have been this lawyer’s twin. After the year-long honeymoon period wore off, followed by another year of me trying to whittle down the time we spent together, it took me near two more full years (and I’m Gem rising, for pete’s sake!) after that to rewrite and constantly re-edit his life plan for me. Yes he tried with the “but I paid for this and that” drivel. Puh-lease. He spent diddly on me. I asked for nothing from him ever, and that’s just about what I got. He did shut right up when I suggested “well how would it be then if I submitted an invoice to him for all the sexual gratification he received?” It most definitely was all about possessions for him at the end, but it was my possessions that he wouldn’t give up. He kept baiting me with “aren’t you going to come and get all your stuff, you’ve got some really valuable stuff here, isn’t some of it your dead sister’s?” (seriously cruel, huh), and then he’d pull the disappearing act and go silent when I’d try to make arrangements to pick all my things up. Grew tired of his games and so wrote off all my belongings still in his possession. Lessons learned.

  44. I was with a guy who was a dead beat with Venus in Taurus. I was 19 young & stupid I was able to move in with him after I only knew him for 2 months, I just wanted to live away from my parents. I didn’t have a job when I moved in but I shortly got one. He lived off of his checks from the gov. and got food stamps. A highschool drop out too. I motivated him to go to night school and take 2 classes though.

    It irritated me how he felt entitled to me buying him things. He would ask, I’d useally say no at first. Cause I never asked him to buy me things. Plus I was making minimun wage. He would give me hell for it, he would break stuff be so minipulative. He use to try to say anything like “Well I put food stamps this house!” Good thing my educated friend (whos a Taurus sun & Mercury) told me “What! Those taxes that come out of your paycheck go to his food stamps!” WOH! When I brought that up to him after I learned that his defence was “well you wouldn’t have them if it wasn’t for me.” but at least he quit bringing that up.
    Whenever we agreed to end things, he would useally crawl back the very next day. It was always about proving a point with him,(if I start breaking my stuff she wont make that remark to me, I’ll say I don’t care anymore that will get her to stop saying no buying me stuff.) We where on and off for a while, I have Taurus in Mercury. The last time I talked to him was on 10/31/10. I knew the only way I could move on was blocking him from myspace & my number. I still have some of his things that I feel he doesn’t deserve to get back. I like the stuff, but its not healthy for me to keep it maybe I should sell it. Mwahahaha! But I’m done with him so I wont rub it in his face.