Breaking News: Virgos Are Not Control Freaks

Filed in Sun Signs

Elle Magazine

They’re not. I repeat. Virgos are not Control Freaks.

Yes, they’re details conscious but essentially, Virgos don’t (usually) care if you ignore their observations, suggestions or corrective nagging.

They simply want to be heard, understood and for you to be home or at your computer and mentally present when the I-Told-You-So communique arrives.

But it’s the Fixed Signs – Leo, Taurus, Scorpio and Aquarius – especially when these signs are Rising that tend to be Control Freaks.

You don’t want to take their recommendation for a restaurant? That might be a problem. They’re not so minute about it as our Virgo but they take it as a personal insult if you “ignore” their advice.

Top Ranking Control Freaks i.m.o. – Leo Rising, Taurus Anything, Aquarius Moon…but the latter lot keep it REAL quiet and/or they cage it in terms of conscious evolution or amorphic resonance, where you’re aligned etc.

Leo makes out like you are not “cool” if you are not doing what they think you should be doing and Taurus turns it into an issue of moral decline, fast-paced moral torpor turning the whole world psycho-bats because you started it all by being gluten-free for the day or not needing to see the Taurean’s kiniesologist.

Thoughts?

71 thoughts on “Breaking News: Virgos Are Not Control Freaks

  1. I’m a leo with Taurus Rising, does that mean I’m screwed? Or does my Moon in Gemini give me a reprieve in the control freak stakes?

    • I’m a Scorp with Leo moon and Taurus rising! All fixed. I read this and thought, maybe I am so control freaky, I don’t even know it!?

      I’m not really though, except when it comes to my house. It HAS to be a certain way, or I cannot think straight. Clean, light, airy. In all other areas, I’m like, whatever man. I think I have a fair amount of Sagg in there somewhere. (astro novice here)

  2. hahah! Yes!
    The current Toro with Pisces Rising & Aqua Moon is stubborn and control freaky but packages it in this weird way. He gets “panic attacks” and “anxiety” if you do things in a way he doesn’t like, but he’s never directly bossy. He’ll fix it quietly but in some way that you’ll notice it.

    • UUUGGHHH that’s so my worst quality. I am so passive aggressive when it comes to my control freakishness and then I hold it all in so much that sometimes I just EXPLODE.

      [i acknowledge it now though, after years of denial. totally working on it. :)]

  3. Ha, I try to be zen & STFU about other people’s choices. But quietly, I know they’re wrong :)

    • Should add my Aries sun, Toro rising ex could Freak it like no-one I’ve met before or since. He had a fabulous way of martyring himself too – it wasn’t that he had to have his way, oh no. He simply wanted what was objectively the best for everyone… which just happened to be what he wanted to do, when & how he wanted to do it.

  4. Virgos are not control freaks?

    Oh yes they fuqing well are.

    Case in question. Virgo sister. You don’t do things her way – eg; you don’t want to go new Thai restaurant she wants to go to – and she hyper ventilates. Next thing you know she is near fainting, tight throat. “Oh that’s okay” she squeaks, barely able to breathe (this is all in the street with concerned passers by by this point) “it’s just that they have particularly good xyz and i know that you like xyz” This is even if you hate xyz.

    • “oh yes they fuqing well are.” (lol.. makes me giggle) A Dear friend is a triple Virgo and “oh yes she fuqing well IS!”

    • Interesting. I don’t read that as control freak, I read that as having an idea of perfection in her mind. It isn’t that she wants to control the situation, she just wants to make it ideal. Virgos are worriers and perfectionists, but they (we) never intend to manipulate.

      • Are you for real? I have loads of Virgoes in my life and I really like them. But they all prize themselves on their manipulation. I find it obvious and embarrassing. They all have the martyr thing down pat too. So many rules for everybody, like we must be on time or we’ll be reminded of the transgression forever … Not necessarily control freakish, just right about everything.

  5. Oh, god. You’ve totally just called me out. I’m a triple fixed with double Taurus and suffered from OCD and really bad anxiety as a kid because of control issues, perfectionism.

    I’ve let go a bit but now have this more relaxed exterior covering my desire to succeed because of lingering paralysis! I guess I am a repressed overachieving control-freak, trying to learn how to get my power back in a healthy way.

    I’ve never really found Virgos to be control freaks. Definitely Taurus, Aquarius…sometimes Leo but it’s not so much being a control freak as trying to be the center of the action, y’know?

    Once I dated a dude with the same sun and moon and me and it was awful. Everyone thought we would make such a great couple but we were so alike and so stubborn that it went nowhere.

  6. Ha! Love the lowdown! All is not as OBVIOUS at first glance!……. Details conscious & wanna be heard. And the obligatory “i-told-you-so” annoying as it is. I have a Scorp-Sun Aqua-Rising Sis-in-law. She fits the bill for control freakery. It’s funny to watch, & get some detachment about it & possibly a lesson in how not to be too. I feel for her mutable hubby.

  7. My sister is Taurus and she got quite miffed when I went out and bought my own muesli when staying with them recently. ‘Don’t you like my muesli?!’ she said quite sharply. She makes a blend of different brands of cereal.

  8. I’m a control freak, but I don’t much care what people do so long as it doesn’t affect my life. What I really hate: people ask for my advice, all the time, then disregard it. Then they come back saying, oh, I guess I should have done what you said . . . I am Cassandra. It’s infuriating.

    • Exactly. I’m with you on this one Aqualala. I am more than happy to let other people be, and I know a lot of people with a hell of a lot of quirks. I’m pretty damn quirky myself and within the sphere of me I am very control freaky. I have definite opinions on what suits me. Leo Sun, Scorp Moon Taurus Rising . I usually refer to it as my own trifecta of stubborn, or hellacious tenacity.

      My own personal ethos is that I try very bloody hard to not give out unasked for advice ( I was raised by a Virgo). That’s the difference I find with a lot of Virgoan peeps. Not all, but a lot. They GIVE their advice/opinion out willy fuqing nilly like it is being dolled out via hummingbird tongues with holy vibrations and little clanging of golden bells. Then they get pissy if you don’t genuflect.

      I do find it challenging when asked for advice, and I consider my answer carefully trying to take into account this particular person’s issue and have them totally disregard whatever I said. I do not play wailing wall. I’ve learnt over the years to avoid people that use the same old material again and again…Maybe that’s another part of my inner control freak. I’m not mean, I try more for firm but fair.

      There are lines people.

    • Aqualala, I agree – hate being asked for advice which is then disregarded. Like LL below, I also try to keep my advice to itself unless asked for; but when it is asked for I usually invest a lot of energy and care into coming up with thoughts which are genuinely relevant and helpful. I’m quite hurt when it’s blithely ignored.

      Apart from that, people can do whatever they want, but woe betide them if they try to control me or my actions in any way!

      (I do really love putting together suggested travel itineraries for people.)

      Leo sun, Leo rising, Aries moon.

    • When making a decision, I ask everyone for advice. I do tell them I’m only gathering opinions trying to see the situation from all angles, and I thank them for sharing with me. I couldn’t possibly use everyone’s advice as it usually conflicts. I LOVE to see all the different ways peeps come up with creative fix-its. Bring on the advice!

      Emo vampires that ask for advice but are using that as an attention getting technique, that’s different. They come to you with the same ‘problem’ over and over again. At first I’m nice and respond, but then I usually suggest conseling. Yes, I know..I’m a blunt Aries.

  9. Most Virgo men I know have Scorpio strongly influencing their chart, so in my experiences they are control freaks. Then there are the ones who don’t care as much, but they have Pisces, Libra or Cancer…

    I’m a Taurus, so I can be control freaky, especially with my own things and when I share a home with someone. And I do get upset when someone, like my 10yo sister who just doesn’t eat enough for as active as she is, doesn’t take my suggestions over things that are obviously off with them. Must be my Pisces moon who cares too much, but mostly about friends and family. And, ok, yeah, my little sister is a Cap and they’re naturally thin anyway, so maybe I’m just being paranoid?

    So yes, this Taurus is a control freak, but because I care. I don’t FORCE anyone into anything like my other Taurus moon sister. She’s the scary Toro type.

  10. Yes, I am a control freak. (Scorpio sun and rising) I’m mellowing with age though, unless of course it directly affects my life. (lol)

  11. Crab sun/Aqua moon…i must travel alone, i like to hide it behind being an independent woman in search of excitment and wonder but it really boils down to not wanting to frigging compromise and deal with other peoples crap. I dont want to spend my whole trip sighing, eye rolling and being quietly outraged (pass/agg i know i know im working on it).

    • I am so totally with you on this one! I hate getting dragged along by other peoples agendas and I only shop solo for similar reasons!

    • haha same for me, pisces sun/aqua moon! I’ve had good travel buddies but amusingly, when I went on a trip with a Taurus and a Sag with moon in Taurus (all three Virgo rising), the three of us mutually agreed that we’d like to have an afternoon to ourselves at least one of the days of our trip. Our interests were pretty similar but I think we just all needed a break from constant-consensus-building.

    • Me too. Cancer sun, Sagg rising, Aqua moon AND only child. I hate shopping with others too. And I really hate cooking with others and sharing the kitchen. But it’s not so much control freakery as a desire to avoid conflict and I’m just better at doing things alone, I think.

  12. It’s not being a control freak, it’s simply a matter of being decisive and happy to take ownership of those decisions!

    Considering the part of the body we rule, it’s no surprise Taureans are happy to stick our neck out and shoulder responsibility :)

    But then…I would say that, wouldn’t I (AquaSun, Taurus rising)

  13. I work in partnership at uni, such is the nature of architecture can’t do the whole fuqing project on your own. Anyways the most control freaky freak architecture student I ever worked with is a TAURUS with a VIRGO moon and I think Taurus ascendant. He was absolutely freaky shit, like would have temper tantrums (I also think he is a coke head since he bar manages most of Sydney).

    OH MY FUQ FUQ my Virgo moon, Scorpio ascendant almost went insane, although I must admit I never lost it, it’s like he sensed when I was going to go apeshit at him and would stop.

  14. Well this makes sense

    My sister has aqua moon/scorp sun/cancer asc and is thought aqua moon balance the double water/ make her detached but it tends to manifest as serious control issues about anything social, always has to be her way right down to prior meeting at her house with her choice of eatery/venue no matter how far anyone has to travel or work schedule/ diet requirements. guaranteed drama’s sulking and personal insults if all do not comply.

  15. I have two people in my life who are SO control freakery it’s scary. One is a Leo rising the other Aquarius rising. They both have the same sun sign and that’s what I thought was clashing with me – even though it’s the same as my asc. This explains SO much. Thank youuuu Mystic.

    Got a surprise visit from an old friend today who is a Virgo. She knows what she wants, how to get it and is organised. I admire this in her and don’t detect any of the control freak in her per se. She’s just together.

  16. Taurus with Aqua Moon here. And yes, I am a control freak (I feel like this could turn into a Control Freaks Anonymous meeting). Though having spent the last several years making myself learn to let go I can definitively say I’m getting better. Even my Gemini bestie commented on it recently, and she never notices anything tangible.

    Mind you I feel like I’m being a bit of a control freak about NOT being a control freak at times. But hey, whatever right.

  17. O yes, my bestie CowGirl, HAS to be in control of EVERYTHING , must be HER
    way, but always for our own well being of course, very very protective
    is she and i love it but once just once i would like to cook a meal to
    move her out of the kitchen! But like no chance!
    Takes food very seriously, nourishing us body mind & soul when we are
    all together (3 adults & 2 dogs). That’s Venus Rules & Ruling.
    M O R E always please…..life’s a joy when 3 natural Givers (not Takers)
    are together 7 weekends a year & holidays then we know ‘all is well in the Universe’
    with blessings beyond.
    Not demented as he used to be, Demented Virgo neighbour used to drive me nuts
    with suggestions constantly & his total bustbodying plus gossiping.
    Every shared project was taken over…guess that’s why we aren’t buddies anymore?
    My Virgoan Mars wants control over my environment and an eye for detail enough already.

  18. Ha! That explains it.

    But the world has had it’s revenge: I accidentally married another Aqua Moon. It’s a pretty fun household.

  19. I knew a virgo once who appeared so control freaky, just being in her presence made me feel like I was under some “do what I say” spell, maybe that was just because she was so ordered and sure of herself, the absolutist vocabulary didnt help either. I have a gem sun and pisces moon so most of the time I find myself really really mutable, flexible, going with the flow. But recently Ive had to embrace my scorp rising control freak, see where it wants to play out in my life, and take responsibility for it. My family would sometimes convict me of wanting to control things such as ideas and functions, and I just didnt see how they saw that, I thought I was being all embracing and open. Since I have taken responsibility for where I do want to control things, then it is a lot more clear where I can go with the flow, and where I have strong boundaries to meet my own needs. I havent been convicted of being a control freak since, maybe just stubborn and rigid – which while that still dosnt sit comfortably with me, Im learning to like it. I recently got one of those 1950s style quotes that says “Im not bossy!, I just have BETTER ideas than you” that I hang in my kitchen (often the place where I have to own that I have better ideas) and its like a nice way for me to take the piss out of myself and own it at the same time… quite empowering really….

  20. :) Sent the link to my Aqua sis to read, just yesterday she admitted her control freak parts of her personality. Is there a cure? I mean.. for the rest of us?

  21. Ha.
    I didn’t respond to the ‘people think I’m stupid’ thing cause basically, no one I am going to notice is going to think I am stupid, but people who doubt my ‘cultural’ opinions, well yes that is another thing entirely.
    However I’m not sure that I am a control freak about it. You can like what you want, I’ll like what I want, though what I like is clearly better!
    Leo rising, merc and Venus in Taurus (and 10th house)

  22. This. Is. So. True. My son – only two, but a control freak beyond normal terrible twos. He is Leo rising. My sister – Virgo with Leo rising and will ACT (badly) as though she is fine with whatever you do, but the You Are Not Cool if you don’t do it thing is so true!! Also the Sagg I Am Chasing has an Aqua moon and until now I could not explain his control freakery. Voila.

  23. Had an ex who used to show love and receive praise from his first wife for bringing her breakfast. I don’t eat breakfast. He was very upset and insistant that he was going to keep bringing me food that made me nauseous to look at, at godawful early hours. Control freaky or desperate for praise and approval? Whatever..certainly annoying. He had lots of scorp, though he was sag sun.

    • That IS annoying! Mainly ‘cos it’s like he isn’t listening to you, relationship by rote or something. Don’t care for breakfast in bed, crumbs and gross. Bed is for sex and sleep imho.

    • lol. last bf used to make me coffee every morning within 10 min of my waking next to my head there would be fresh cup. I thought it was amazing! now I associate gestures of love nurturing with coffee fetching. though it all could have been a clever ploy to not deal with my rising dead pre caffinated ass first thing. appease the demon.

      I hate breakfast first thing also. coffee only

  24. Guys,

    I don’t mean to alarm you but I think a Virgo has taken over Mystic computer……either that or has somehow manipulated her in posting this 8O

    I don’t know if you can read this Mystic but we’ll get the Virgo who put you up to posting this! Look whatever is going on, it is ok. We KNOW you wouldn’t actually post something so far fetched, I mean c’mon a Virgo not a control freak…. 8O

    Tell the Virgo computer capturer that I have a Virgo brother I can hook them up with who would be so happy to hang out with him/her & they can talk about not being control freaks until the cows come home or until Madonna releases a new album or something.

    In return they must stop with these posts….

    Thats a fair deal….. if not I will throw in my officeworks card & they can buy whatever they like!

    *dangles officework card*

    :D

      • Lol, not the officeworks card…anything, but the officeworks card!! (Mars in Virgo, looove officeworks!)

    • Ha ha! Officeworks! Oh yes, my idea of heaven. All those storage solutions!

      I initially thought this thread was a joke, and read down from the title looking for the punchline: Virgo is not a control freak . . . more of a control ‘enthusiast’!

      But no. Still, I am feeling very much more mutable these days, since I’ve hooked up with a Toro. Who knew?!

  25. Double Scorp as I am, I must admit to being freakily control freaky. Not in every area though. Just my work and home. If anyone at work annoys me – and I can’t tell them because I depend on them or something of that sort – my whole life gets outs of balance! Ditto when rumours circulate, a thing that is per definition uncontrollable – I don’t mind when they refer to my personal life (she’s with X, she does Y in her free time), but someone once accused me of manipulating statistics, and I narrowly avoided a very ugly collision.

    My best friend is Virgo (Sagg rising) and a control freak – certainly in his home and in his duties (he can’t sleep when there are things unresolved that involve him). When it comes to health he offers advice, but is very mild when one doesn’t follow.

    My friend Taurus Sun with Virgo rising is so control freaky, it borders on madness. He’s found his own way of dealing with this, though, by never getting too involved with other people, so he can always do what suits him. But of course, he only sees this trait in others. ;-)

  26. This is all very interesting. I always assumed my Aqua ex had Taurus rising, although I never knew, and this bears it out. He was pass-agg to the max. I have a Gem friend who always tries to manipulate the group to do what she wants and we are all so uncool if we don’t – maybe she has Leo rising.

    But I have Leo rising, and I’m a Virgo, so it doesn’t look good for me either in the control freak stakes. I certainly dish out my opinions, wanted or otherwise, and I know that’s annoying and I wish I was better at keeping them to myself. But when there’s disagreement in a group about what to do I’m usually the one standing back, saying I’ll go with whatever’s decided, or quietly trying to smooth over any conflict. Then again, the post above about the Taurus sun with Virgo rising has given me pause for thought. Sometimes I sidestep control issues altogether by just doing my own thing. In those situations I’m genuinely happy to leave everyone else to it, but maybe to them it looks as though I’m trying to exert an influence.

  27. As a Libertine, anyone can do anything they like
    ‘cept scare the horses.
    Me being a horse ‘n all.

  28. Tricky. Kataka Sis hasn’t a birth time exact. I only know within half an hour or so and this makes her either Leo Rising (she has Leo Moon) or Virgo Rising. I was plumping for the Virgo Rising as she is very witty, loves word play etc.

    But she is Queen of Cool (Sun in the 11th?) and is masterful at social games, v. controlling as described of Leo Asc, so now am uncertain. It’s close enough to say she might be dead centre cusper I guess.

  29. I am a Scorpio with an Aquarius moon and Virgo stellium. Also have Jupiter in Taurus.

    I should be a supersized control freak, but I don’t think I am. I don’t give advice unless someone asks for it, and then if they don’t take my advice, it’s fine. I am also happy to go along with others’ choices of movies, eating venues, etc

    I am a control freak when it comes to my home and my stuff. The hangers in the closet all have to be hung up one particular way, the shoes have to align, the cds and books have to be put back in the right position, and so on. Unfortunately, my family doesn’t always cooperate, so I have to do all of this myself. Does that make me less of a control freak? Hmmm

    • I am Leo with sun in the 2nd house and Scorpio Moon and I am NOT controlling at all. Other people might think I am, but they are ALL wrong. It’s typical of them to be wrong as they rarely take my advice, which is how they end up with messy lives and unruly, product-less hair.

      I have my hands full I tell ya. :)

      • omg! the computer is getting control freaky! I was trying to post a happy face to your comment Andro and I keep getting a message about already having said that, no duplicates allowed! Does this mean I’ll never be allowed another happy face?

  30. Where is Ubervirgo ?
    He / she corrected my spelling on my very first post on this site.

    But Virgos are NOT control freaks…LOL

    • Yes Spirit!! Where are you Uber Virgo??? Are you there? We haven’t heard from you since May. Are you okay? I loved reading your posts. You wouldn’t know me though because I only just subscribed recently.

      That’s funny re correcting spelling and I find that is a common trend among virgo’s that I know- being corrective if you like. It sometimes feels like in their eyes you just don’t quite get things right. Critical is controlling in a whole other way. Despite that, many of my closest friends are Virgo’s. All signs have strengths and weaknesses. My rising sign has progressed into Virgo and I can’t stop cleaning and washing my hands.

  31. But it’s true!!! I don’t really care what is done with my minute observations
    and nagging once it is out of my lips. I’m just saying…The Leos in my life, however, are amazingly pass-agg and agg if I don’t OBEY their little suggestions. To be fair, I do think Virgo men have a different vibe altogether than the women and control freakery is very possible.

  32. Oh Mystic, You must’ve looked at my chart recently and known that I have an aqua moon, multiple conjunct taurus and leo rising. I wonder what Judy Hall (past life astrologer) would say about all of that. I think that I have so many fixed planets that deep down absolutely it’s hard to let go and not worry about things or go with the flow and it usually manifests in severe panic attacks that nobody else understands or knows about. I usually hide under a rock until I can move forward again. I’m inflexble with things that could potentially make me anxious so I won’t go to something e.g. an event or place if I stress too much or get too nervous. I have the added nervous pressure of venus in gemini conjunct nth node. It does not seem fair to label virgos as not being control freaks and then single out the fixed signs. I think anyone has the potential to be or become a control freak.

  33. bingo, my ex lover/flatmate used to call me if I was late home from work to see where I was, wanting company…he’s double taurus, leo rising! Now I get it.

    Aqau sun and multiple conjunct leo here though so I do like to be in control too…not freakishly though ;)

  34. I was there going ‘yes, yes, yes’, because really I don’t care what other people do as long as I get to throw an occasional barb over the parapet…then I read the bit about Taurus rising…damn. I have Taurus rising, tho I’m on the cusp of Gemini rising.

  35. It’s funny, when I started thinking about this question I could easily come up with some area of control freakery in the life of every sign I know.

    But if we’re talking straight up bossy, Leo and Leo Rising gets my vote!

  36. Just ended an affair with a Taurus sun Virgo rising who had sex with someone else.

    Her justification was that I (Pisces sun/ rising) was “unstable and angry”.

    Beware!

  37. Ha, yes. My scorpio rising, aqua moon sister is a total control freak, only being pisces sun she is always racked with guilt about it at the same time. I can’t travel with her because of the intineraries and the getting up early (on holiday? Not this libra rising) and the panicking if something doesn’t go according to plan. She is way more organised than me and much more responsible, which is great, and I think society needs these control freaks to keep going but it is tiring to watch them in action. My taurus, virgo rising ex never listened to anybody else’s ideas. If you wanted to make him think an idea was worthwhile, you’d have to make him believe he’d come up with it himself. I got quite good at doing that, then I realised it was utterly insane.