Leo Re The Taurus Flatmate: How To Make Him Love Me?

Mario Testino

Dear Mystic Medusa,

I found your site when i was searching for  “seducing your flatmate tips” and I got to the Sun Sign Survey about flatmates. I love it.  I have a problem to do with my housemate. I am a Leo. He is a Taurus. We are meant to hate one another but I ADORE him. He has a girlfriend. Sort of.  Long distance, they hardly see each other and his most intimate time is spent with me. I am like his god-damned wife already except he doesn’t sleep with me. YET. We shop together, we go to the movies, everyone thinks we are a couple but we are NOT. Yet. I have tried hypnosis to get over this. I am not  a stupid girl. I know it is not good to obsess over men you can’t get or to live in fantasy. I KNOW he thinks of me as more than just a flatmate because if he ever has more than two drinks, his eyes linger on my body. To make matters more complicated, he is also a SPY. Well i think he is. He works for foreign affairs. His girlfriend is a Virgo. Technically more compatible. She is neurotic. HOW can i get this to move on further? Every night i lie in my bed SWOONING. I am too dignified to just hit on him, though it has occurred to me. It is also a really good house set-up so i don’t want to blow that. I have actually become a saint of tidiness just to impress him so some things have been good about this.  Please; tips, advice, suggestions before i go mad.

Lovelorn Leo.

Um…get an apron? Fix up gourmet meals?  The way to the Taurean male heart really IS via his stomach. Maybe make him a special meal on some occasion and then reveal that you are in unrequited love, let a little tear fall from you Leonine orbs and melt into him, quivering with…i don’t know…manipulation? Or you could just try and remove yourself from him a bit, create some distance and see what happens? He may actually think he has the best of both worlds: a Virgo girlfriend who gives him lots of space and a Leo admirer who undulates around the house in hot sportswear trying to impress him and leaving sexy undies in the bathroom to “dry”. Or maybe he is insanely in love with you. I’d wait it until September as you don’t want to do anything even a quarter psycho during the Zap Zone.

And peeps, what do you think?  Come on, I know there is a well of wisdom and massive talent pool in the commenters.

70 thoughts on “Leo Re The Taurus Flatmate: How To Make Him Love Me?

  1. Well this is interesting. Can you make a man love you ? I suspect not, no matter what his bloody astrology is. But my darling double kataka is currently trying to. Yikes. Personally, after all these years of non committed men, if he’s just not that into me, well, more fool him. I move on.

  2. Yes do tell the secrets to make Bulls fall for. I am taking notes. The food thing won’t work for the Bull I want; he hates food. :(

    • Oh good am not the only one expecting to benefit out of collective wisdom. I know not Taurus males except the recent business partner. This is: it will be good to know what I “shouldn’t” do accidentally.

      Saturn coming to Libra in your neighborhood soon :) keeping it pro is my new boundary challenge :)

      • me too re: keeping it pro in as many dealings as possible. I’m also making myself harder to get re: Toro. I heard if you give in too soon to them they won’t respect you and ditch you. They have to decide at their own pace.

        • I am not sure what to do with this Toro. Yesterday I was talking business over tea and noticed he was checking a 20 year old long haired, tall girl. It wasn’t long – e.g. his head didn’t move, but it was long enough – his eyes moved from far right to far left.

          Good grief. What an odd thing to notice while talking business.

          Better keep him on pro-relations list.

          • Them Bulls are always looking but most of them know better than to touch…either that or they are lazy. not sure what it is. =)
            Good luck with keeping it biz Q. Sounds hard to me.

    • But attraction is what it is. I don’t think anyone can help who they fall for. And Lovelorn Leo didn’t say he was happily taken. I don’t think Lovelorn Leo is trying to compete – she’s just got chemistry happening … can’t blame anyone for that.

      My question is whether you are attracted to Mr Taurus or to the idea of him?

      As a Virgo with difficult planetary placements & aspects for fidelity I have had to learn the hard way between true attraction and attraction to an idea of a person. (More accurately – I feel I will spend my whole life learning this)

      Lovelorn Leo:
      Have you dated anyone else recently? Have you tried? Will Mr Taurus still bare his sould if you are in a relationship? Or is he able to share his dreams and secrets with you because the risks are less than if you were lovers?

      Some people are better as friends than lovers. And some people might be better as the lover you never had than they might turn out to be in reality (no offence intended to Mr Taurus).

      • Yes you may not be able to help who you are attracted to but you can damn well have control over how you act. How would that girl feel if the same were to happen to her? None to happy I am sure. So many people don’t think about that! KARMA

          • ha ha! right on! MISOGYNY IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW :)

            women who blame the ‘other woman’ always make me laugh
            maybe they should stop tolerating unfaithful men.

            No amount of testosterone and homecooking renders a man helpless.
            No amount of cake baking will make a loving partner cheat on his GF.

            Although I like the idea of baking a prenup cake, like from alice in wonderland… you know, instead of ‘eat me’ you could writing in decorative icing, “by law 50% of all your assets are mine!”
            ha ha
            Im kidding…

            I dont believe lovelorn wrote that she was planning to cheat… but perhaps i read wrong?

          • i do agree ASSR…yes we should stop tolerating unfaithful men – or women i guess, as i’ve said before it’s not as though “the other woman” holds a gun to his head and i’ve been on all sides there over the years.. {haha, typo i almost wrote “over the tears”]
            but yeah so this is about taurus men, my theory – partially tested – is that they like women who agree with them but who are that oh so slightly highly strung, skittish, HOT and great at sharing a love of all of earth’s pleasures, *especially* sex.

            the Toro i was seeing for a while seemed to appreciate these qualities: physical attractiveness, relaxed, cheeky, love of living, passionate but not obsessive, as much sex as you can both handle, direct, open/honest etc etc etc

            maybe leave a book about Tantra open on the lounge one afternoon?

            Toros are also the jealous types, if you get an imaginary b/f it might spark some interest

            however they are also loyal, I don’t know if they are the type to stray?

            • If he cheats on his girlfriend with you… In his mind, you will always be a “booty call”, nothing more. If you want more out of the relationship, then
              wait until he is single. Take it from a Leo woman.

  3. She needs to move out and not live with him, unfortunately it is not a healthy situation for her self and self-esteem.

  4. If he was interested he would make a move. He thinks he has a great gig going with a rockin roommate. Don’t mistake the learing looks as anything more than the fact that he’s a guy. Guys think about nailing any chick, if only for a fleeting few seconds.

    Move on.

  5. My long and many dealings with Taureans have taught me that they can be persuaded to do something as long as they feel they came up with the idea. It’s almost like they need another person to tell them it’s OK to do something before they do it. Or they need to think that it is an acceptable/OK thing to do in the eyes of the world (don’t know if I’m explaining myself well here). Here’s how it goes: you say ”let’s do/buy/get xyz”, they pout and go “no, no, no”. You shrug and go “oh well” . In the next days and weeks, whenever possible and it fits in to the conversation naturally you say “well you know things would be great if only we had/ did/ bought xyz” or “wow isn’t it amazing how much xyz has caught on lately – too bad we haven’t got one/ do it” . Then out of the blue, sometime later, Taurus appears and says “I’ve had a great idea – let’s do/buy xyz” . This is not the time for you to say “ISN’T THAT WHAT I SAID ALREADY??”. No, you say “Oh angel cakes how brilliant you are!!” Somehow it always works like – that for me anyway. I don’t know if that is in any way useful to you in your situation. A good, well developed, Taurus man in worth his weight in gold and them some – I would trust them with my life. But I must say that a not so developed Taurus male can be a sulky, selfish piece of work bordering on infantile. I hope this guy is worth the effort!

    • “But I must say that a not so developed Taurus male can be a sulky, selfish piece of work bordering on infantile.”

      This is so true. Massively stressful dealings with a Taurean ex has put me off them for life. Not only sulky, selfish and infantile, but also bitchy and cruel.
      However, an old Taurean male friend is absolute gold, so I can see the attraction. And I have two Taurean sisters who are also amazing.
      Apart from food, and letting them think they come up with their own ideas, in my view Taureans love a good home life, food, comfort, relaxing, so it sounds like you are doing all the right things. But really, for your own karma, might be best to clarify the Virgoean situation first.

    • LOL!!! You are so right LJ.

      Years ago when I first started getting into organic gardening my Stellium Taurus wife was totally against it because it would be messy. Now, when people come to our new home she tells them all about my vegie patch and fruit trees as if it was her idea. I’ve even caught her taking credit for encouraging me to get into it. And yes, I just let her take the credit …

      Taureans – all you can do is roll my eyes and love them.

    • Correct, it has to seem like his idea, very crucial for bullheaded Taurus, who cannot really be persuaded to do something he doesn’t want to do.

      However, there are other keys to Taurus’ heart. He is sensual and needs his sense of touch activated. He wants to fondle his women, to be in close contact, skin to skin. But he will have to initiate it. Entice him, build attraction, and he cannot resist.

      If that fails, there is always the killer move for tactile Taurus: a foot massage. Yeah, his massive hooves probably smell, you can wash your hands afterwards or use some fragrant lotion (which will also activate his senses).

  6. If i was the distant girlfriend, i would be most concerned
    about him sharing a living situ with another woman, doesn’t he
    make enough moola to live alone or share with a bloke if he is
    committed?
    What if she meets another? How would he feel about her living
    arrangements. What if either wanted to bring a lover home to
    spend night?
    Anyway being as it is, she could purchase a copy of something like
    ‘The Art of Sexual Ecstasy’ full of interesting things to do sans actual
    sex actually or ‘The Multi Orgasmic Man’ & leave it on the coffee table
    with the inside cover gifted to her name by someone.
    ALL men linger over a woman’s available body after 2 drinks.
    Be careful want you wish for tho’. If it happens, he would be going from
    one relationship direct into the next with no reflection time. Wait til they
    break-up as long distance ones often do, & meantime quell the Leonic Ego.

    • I actually experienced the Stockholm Sydrome once
      & it lasted 12 months before i could extricate myself.
      It was weird & mostly unpleasant. Nothing good came of it.

    • doesn’t that come about more as a captor / prisoner scenario… altho i figure you mean we pick the low-hanging fruit etc

      • oh DEAR. I made no sense. What I meant to say is that he is in close proximity and it is easier to develop an attraction to the nearest person, ie flatmate, than someone else we have to get to know from the beginning

  7. From the sounds of it you could probably have him after a few drinks but THEN what? His guilt. Awkward encounters. I think you need to put a bit more air between you and pounce only if he busts up with the virgo.

  8. I am a Taurus women entagled with a Leo man this has been what I refer to as a seven year one night stand rich with psychic soulmate passion, we chase each other around town and when we surrender its just like heaven. He has a flatmate and I beleive he loves her however he tells me that I have something she doesnt. The last two years have been non physical with confessions of love via internet (Love letters and exchange of romantic music) this is how we talk to each other.
    I recently chose to end this after he went into what I think is a Narcissist rage and begin stalking me and yes I had a touch of stolkhome syndrom as well. I think I am getting along now without, but still missing the passion. I dont think I will find another connection like it but he leaves me no choice becuase I dont want to be second best. Hopefull and waiting patiently for a new love!

  9. The problem has already been outlined. There is a very comfortable relationship for him at home while his LT girl lives long distance. Usually when you are in love with your partner you don’t form almost couple status relationships with your flatmate. You notice this is emotionally cheating on someone when you use them for all the activities that you would for a partner and that your actual other might be a bit pissed off that you are so close to another like that. So is he using you to fill the pain of her absence? in love with you but being Toro will just go along with what suits his lack of having to do anything that will alter his comfort levels so will do nothing? either way its killing you not him, if you can’t get over the dynamic and treat him like a friend then you have to withdraw all the investment you are putting into him and check what happens. People fall in love, it happens but if this guy has no balls and can’t man up to deal with his situation you are going to have to make it a little less comfortable. Is he into you or are you just friends (or being used) would be my question

  10. Yes Toro blokes can be very desirable in their rock like solidity and I really enjoy their company…but this. Yeah I think you need to get out of the house a bit without him. For your own self if nothing else. This pseudo marriage without benefits seems to have you in thrall. Don’t fool yourself his most intimate time is spent with the distant Virgo not with you. This is convivial house mate situation.

    Also yeah a guy can look at you in an approving way without feeling the need to follow up with any emotional connection. The toro guys I know are very easily visually stimulated.

    Also for the sake of keeping things on an even keel when you’re keeping things tidy, don’t touch his stuff. Drives the majority of Taurus peeps nuts.

    Right now this lusting after someone else’s bloke is fraught with drama and could be stopping you from seeing someone free and clear and actually wonderful for you. Stop pining. Get out and have some fun, give someone single a chance.

    I echo TLE only pounce if the Virgo thing ends, and then think carefully at whether you want to risk your abode.

    • I agree with this, why should a gorgeous single Lion woman, clean this bloke’s stuff for?

      Better yet bring a guy home, for dinner, instead of cooking hhim dinner.

      • haha…yeah, have a date over for dinner and then ask the toro “would you like me to leave you some left overs?”

        Course he might not mind the leftovers at all!

        And I’m going to be candid here…..I online dated several years back and this one guy, a Toro, ends up, was 100 times more handsome in person then he was online. A fireman….Part Sicilian…Black hair, green eyes….I mean probably one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen in person.

        He persued me and persued me. Called every single day…We saw each other a bit. Then I gave in to the sex part. Do you think I heard from him again?

        HELL NO…

        All the calling was just a ploy to make it appear that he was going to be there relationship wise…

        WRONG!!

        Man, the admittance fee to this carnival is now a very high price.

        • I hope not all Toros are like that Sweetpea! What a crappy experience for you! Do you happen to know any of his other stats like moon sign, etc.?

          • No. Moon says alot tho, I agree. That was back in 2003…

            My Saggo bestie tho…Her hubby a Toro and he made a pass at me!!

          • He’d been drinking however so I let it go. An affectionate slap on the rump….But she was already in bed asleep and he and me watching tv…

      • LOL

        Great idea!

        He’s getting the best of both worlds it seems. He is with someone else and would you really want someone who, while he may think you’re great, would cheat on his girlfriend??? Doesn’t say much for him. As someone with both Merc and Venus in Taurus – but not a guy – I would say loyalty is a big thing and he won’t go there even if he wants to. NO MATTER WHAT! If he splits with her well then you have something to go for. Otherwise he’s enjoying the domestic arrangements that maybe he wishes he had with her . Leave well enough alone. Be his friend.

  11. Stop shopping together, stop socializing together; become more independent. You are behaving in a way that plays into all his wants and needs, without receiving any satisfaction for your own. This can never work as the pattern is already established, whereby you are going out of your way for him…so why should he go out of his way for you? You’re making it all too easy and convenient for him, acting life a partner instead of a housemate. Sign up on a social networking site if you can’t drum up interest in your day to day life. Start putting out energy to meet someone else…turn away. GET A LIFE.

    • I was thinking something along the same lines, like, go away for a week and leave him to take care of himself. Or, have a date pick you up. You’ll know his intentions soon enough. I have Venus in Taurus. Once you’re ours, you’re ours. If he is gotten used to you being “his” even if in an unoffical capacity he won’t want you to stop being “his” (around all the time, etc). Make him make the move and then, address his other situation before you give in to anything. Anything worth having is worth waiting for to a Taurus (to my knowledge and experience). If it’s too easy he might lose interest, that is, if he’s interested to begin with.

  12. This is a bit left field, and astrology is fabulous for compatibility reading. You could always get a report to suss out details of your chemistry. I would say this is a scientific approach.

    Another thing, this is a bit confronting though, is see a psychic (a really good one, not a tarot reader). They do tend to put things into a perspective very quickly.

  13. Lovelorn Leo, start dating! Go to movies, drinks etc with gorgeous men. Available gorgeous men. You will break the soppy ‘pseudo wife’ dynamic, and hopefully find some mutual sparks. If Toro flatmate is indeed keen on you he will surely show his hand, but honestly, I agree with all the posters who suggest he is enjoying ‘best of both worlds’ scenario.

  14. Dear Lovelorn Leo,
    Read the comments of Herby and Little Joey – the first ones.
    50% of the people will tell you to move on, the other 50%, guess what? “He is yours to take.”
    Nobody can eat or dye for us. Nobody can love for us. It is up to you! Whatever you decided, do it! It will be the right decision for your soul.
    The other day, talking to a friend, we concluded: It may exist vain philosophies, but there are no vain hopes. No matter what.
    You may jump, in the dark,directly in a precipice. Who knows?
    Give some material to your biographer to work on! LIVE IT! Live your life.
    It is (your life) the only thing you take with you.
    Best outcome possible, that what I wish you.

  15. no offence on your gorgeousness however LEAVE. these things always end bitterly and badly. besides you are a leo.

  16. In my experience a way to a Taureans heart is through his “groin”, to put it politely. You will just have to have a hot night of passion and then leave him begging for more. But.. it will have to a memorable, mind blowing encounter for him to stay interested. The only problem then is it’s make or break time, but it’s probably better than living in this situation?

    I also agree with Aquaphobe, be careful what you wish for, some Taurean men seem amazing in the domestic sphere, but not so hot-to-trot once out of it, especially for a vibrant Leo. Have you spent much time socialising with him outside of the home?

    Good luck Leo!

    • Also a Leo, I also think a big element of this is probably EGO. As in, WHY doesn’t he want me??? I am fabulous. And then once/if she gets him, she will slowly lose interest…

  17. The guy has a girlfriend, and it sounds like he’s not much of a partner. If you want in his pants, get two or more drinks in him and make your move. If you want something real, look elsewhere.

    VS

  18. Toro’s strike me as being a bit slow on the uptake in that charming way re flirting!

    Okay, you are Fire, he is Earth – you must use some alchemy here.
    If he is what you want, I can only suggest you keep doing what you are doing and SMOULDER… :) A lot. Constantly. In a red-hot, smokey-eyed oblique fashion.

    It would be wrong to push things given his situation romantically.
    But it would be unfair to yourself to not let events take their course if you truly feel this is a relationship that will change both your lives for the better.

    If your smouldering is igniting no fire and you feel you are just turning into ash, then to be fair to him and yourself, go to him and tell him you are going to move out. The inevitable conversation will clear things up.

    Be prepared for the fact you may be moving on and find someplace before you talk. Taureans respond to reality and values – not meaningless talk and manipulation. It’s only fair to your Leonine sense of pride to be elegant about this situation and meet it head-on (as is most likely your fiery inclination) at some point.

  19. i love astrology and its insights into compatibility but often opposites do attract and you should not let astrological info override your feelings…

    I have been in exactly this situation before, just different astro and if i could go back and do it differently i would do either of the following:
    1. Accept he has a GF and move on asap but stay living there
    or
    2. if that was impossible i would make plans to move out asap but tell him how i felt.

    in my situation, despite the fact the aries hot bod was unhappily in a relationship which seemed dysfunctional and impractical and not v loving at all, and despite the fact he obviously wanted a piece of me and made all the noise of being interested in me, he never broke up with GF and we never resolved the feelings we had for each other. I moved out after 1 whole year of torture and met another amazing guy whom i loved way more who coincidentally was v close friends with him. so then as karma would have it, i dished revenge cold, as he had to watch us smooching and lovey dovey all the time and he got super dooper jealous! i even got to tell him how i had felt, but as he didnt do anything to reciprocate the chance was over! boooyah!

    if a man wants you, he will do what he needs to to get you, and any man who is not able to move himself out of a seemingly unhappy relationship is not worth your precious lustings!
    go out and have some fun…
    ASAP!

    all the best xo

    • Aquasunscorprising your last paragraph – “if a man wants you, he will do what he needs to to get you, and any man who is not able to move himself out of a seemingly unhappy relationship is not worth your precious lustings!” has brought tears to my eyes and sent a cold snap through my body. You have spoken the truth I think and it is with such sadness that I realise there is no point in my hoping that my unavailable sagg is going to leave what I consider is a dysfunctional relationship and fall into my arms/bed. It’s bloody painful though. I really feel for you Lovelorn Leo.

  20. Dear Lovelorn Leo, it is not strange that you are attracted to your Taurean! They have lots of attributes we Leos go for. However, I don’t think they are backwards in coming forward. I think that the question you need to ask is whether you think an ongoing friendship with him will enhance your life? I think that is what he is offering you. You could tell him your feelings – my experience is that Taurean men respect this and respond respecting your dignity and will go on being friends (should they not want a romantic liason with you).

  21. i like what ‘just another virgo’ said… only you can make that choice, and you do need to honour your soul yearnings, and to truly live your life. Also, it could be wise to heed all the other advice however, while terribly biblical, and possibly law of nature, I have seen evidence that we do in fact reap what we sow, and could be better to do unto others as we wish them to do to us. But if you need to, you may learn this yourself. And this is where I agree with javirgo, whatever collateral damage there is, it will be a great teacher…

  22. My experience with Taurus Husband suggests that he won’t buy the cow if the milk is flowing freely, as it seems to be in this situation – tidy, comfy flat and someone interesting to talk to/perv at/go places with, and absolutely no requirement on his part to do anything other than keep breathing. Do think carefully before proceeding. Once you’ve entered the Taurus event horizon, it can be hard to pull away after you’ve discovered it isn’t always that exciting in there. And I agree 100% with Little Joey about sulky Taurus men – what a complete drag Taurus Husband can be at times.

  23. Is there something in your soul/spirit that you yearn to do for yourself ?
    That class you’ve wanted to take, those skills to upgrade for work ?
    Start up a creative, artistic endeavour with that Leo fire of yours ?

    Too much “hangin’” with a guy you already live with seems like waay too much time into HIS energy. You can still feel how you feel but channel that energy back into you. Who knows about the future ? You may meet your soul mate while self-improving, self-actualizing or buying cupcakes at your favourite cupcake store that you don’t intend to share with anyone.

    Good Luck.

    • Annie I think this is really good advice. It’s also an interesting take on how maybe she is feeling this attraction….

      ‘Too much “hangin’” with a guy you already live with seems like waay too much time into HIS energy.’

      Sometimes when I find myself seemingly stuck in a situation, I look at what the payoff for me being seemingly stuck is.Maybe she is really comfortable in his energy and it’s proving a distraction from getting on with her own stuff? Which I think is where the advice to channel the energy back to herself is a great remedy if she actually wants a remedy.

      I also wonder when someone is overwhelmingly attracted (swooning) to someone that is involved with someone else.

      Is part of that attraction due to that unattainability? Sometimes there is emotional safety of sorts from not being able to connect with the object of our desire. It’s all a sort of rehearsal for the real thing.

      Or maybe part of the attraction the unhealthy ego boost of luring someone away? This pretty much assures someone of drama. Potentially a lifetime of drama.

      Just a bit more grist for the mill.

  24. you know what they say, you want what you can’t have. here are tips i have for dealing with taurus’s (who i’m actually not that fond of, being a leo) : don’t drop hints; use steady and direct communication / don’t play mind games either / stay grounded like a taurus would / and let taurus take charge; the bull is great at keeping things steady & under control; allow him to indulge in that. hope this helps, good luck! :)

  25. Has it ever occured to this Cat that she’s really, incredibly annoying? I mean, I’m a Taurus and just reading this I’d never get into a relationship with someone a bit selfish and rather lacking in thinking things out thoroughly. As someone above said, men’s eyes linger a little too long on any woman after two drinks, especialy a lusty Taurus who’s been away from their other half.

    But to make her feel better: Most men make awful choices in choosing their women anyway. Let him suffer if he can’t see how great you are; I live by this rule of relationships.

  26. I had one of those co-dependent flatmate things once. It was wonderful, and crap.
    They all have a breaking point, sounds like it may be soonish for you dear Lovelorn Leo.
    My advice would be muddle through as best you can, but try not to do too much damage in the process. And be prepared for it to hurt.
    It gets better. If you really have a connection you’ll be friends again. Or that’s how mine worked out anyway.

  27. I’m curious as to the batso logic of these lovelorn emails. I mean maybe it’s an age thing but the concept of “trying to make” someone love me is quite repulsive. They either do or they don’t I thought? And if I manipulated someone into cheating on a current partner in order to be with me then … what’s the chance I’ll be the one on the other end of the stick later on down the track when he’s cheating on me with someone else?

  28. Taurus and Leo just don’t work. This Leo has tried it repeatedly. In fact, I remember ‘successfully’ coming between a Taurus and his not so serious girlfriend. She was very serious. He clearly was not. Similar situation, he obviously wanted me. . . especially after a few drinks.

    Thing is, if they’re gonna ditch their girl for you, they’re gonna ditch you for the next one. In my case, he just had a steady string of us. Finally, 8 years down the track, he’s in a settled relationship.

    If you’ve been trying so hard for so long, and he still hasn’t acted on it, you need to either move out, or move on.

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