Full Moon Bonus: Free Therapy!

One of the many advantages of having a Full Moon Eclipse with Saturn at the end of Virgo and Pluto involved in the signs of Kataka & Capricorn is the awesome chance to quickly grok one’s Mother issues, if one has any.

Think also of how it could be so simple to project any such issues onto any female of suitable age or even just someone suitable. Oh it’s tres psych all right. Imagine.  Channel Freud or someone and think this: What if every single interpersonal conflict, grudge or resentment this week was actually all about you and your Mother.

Not only that, but if you’re not in official crack-up mode yourself, then you are called upon to be the Mature One and gently guide/nurture other peeps this week. This is regardless of whether you’re male, female, 19 or ninety, with/without children…whatever. Think about it: you’re most likely either acting out a few little Mothery linked psych-quirks OR doing the mothering. If it’s the latter, then who is soothing YOUR sweet brow and coo-cooing sweet validations?

This is on top of the major details/admin reconfiguration going day and night -even in your dreams – courtesy of Mars-Saturn in Virgo. Hot.

Mind you, the moment Saturn gets back into Libra again, Maturity and Serenity – the ability to apply experience & wisdom well, remaining unruffled etc – will be ravingly chic.

53 thoughts on “Full Moon Bonus: Free Therapy!

  1. thx 2 that mental last eclipse in cancer am hvhng best vibes w mum ever – so my issue i realised this mnrn is viewing weakness and fear in others in a diff way. Must b tolerant of the weak must b patient and less shocked by it. My tincture of soothing nerves shld help. Its poss to see the future from here dont fuq it up w the angst of the past methinks

  2. Last night I dreamed an ex friend and her mother. The night before in my dream I was surrounded by birds, after a brief moment of fear I felt protected. Today my awake mind put the pieces – in 2002 the ex friend and her mother for some reason compete with me- mother with my cooking and house, her daughter with my belongings-as in incessant questions for how much I paid for a vacuum cleaner. Then I had felt lonely, threatened and outnumbered but this is past.

    While understanding my dream I wished my mother could be more supportive of me in the past, then I shrugged, recently I made the choice of being my own
    mother – giving myself unconditional support and guidance.

    In the evening I told this to my sister, who needs my professional and personal support lately.

    Your post couldn’t be more accurate Mystic, that is precisely how my day was.

    • touching x

      despite not actually haven given birth I have always seen becoming a mother as passing on the baton to the next generation and becoming a new role in the cycle of your own heritage. how beautiful that you could overcome and forgive in dream passing to create your own role and recognize your own child needs without passing on the pain of the past.

      Alot of very crap things have happened to women, particularly of previous generations. Mine line is riddled with darkness, there was much pain and struggle. I view it with compassion for the most part, hard to ignore when the ancestors are in your ear half the time. I am now a fountain of support for my mother and that has been quite healing, she needed what I needed. Its our duty not to make it other peoples pain and transform it into wisdom and a greater sense of responsibility.

      May you be the light for future generations to your kin

      • It is painful but necessary to understand mothers as people with their own wishes, dreams, ambitions: some intact, some broken to pieces. I think then it is possible to release all involved from unnecessary suffering.

        Plus: anyone who tried to nurture anyone else, i.e. mothering, is entitled to do mistakes – if in doubt, try to mother yourself and see how far you can go sans a blunder :)

        Perhaps the real deal is giving the next generation the ability to correct the mistakes by themselves :)

  3. OMG!!!!!!!

    I will be seeing my mother for the first time in months this week. Wish me luck. We have a painful relationship at times – stuff from my teenage years which never seems to change – and I’ve been trying to grok it in what seems like forever. I now have a similar pattern in my relationship too (that I’ve obviously repeated in order to learn from) so I am definitely trying to get rid of this baggage once and for all.

    Any advice???

  4. erk

    my mum died 3 yrs ago and i’ve just survived a visit from my dad who has happily (but not sensitively) repartnered

    always knew i had*stuff* re mum, now realise i have more w dad :-(

    still get to meet my mum in the *other realms* occasionally, but miss her

    guess the week will be interesting

  5. You’re so right Mystic. Again. Was only thinking last night, this eclipse is about me and my darling stubborn mule of a Virgo mother, who has been kicked around so much in her life, she automatically assumes everyone is worthless and out to get her, especially anyone who tries to help her — mainly me. I am her chief projection screen.

    Eg. She’s recently busted the cartilage in her knee. I’ve treated it four times in the past week and she keeps moaning about how the knee will ruin her upcoming trip to Lake Eyre. I’ve advised her to rest it, to allow it to heal, but she won’t and continues to limp around, taking the dog on long walks etc. My advice is worthless, you see, because I’ve only been fixing busted knees and other busted stuff for the past fifteen years. And what would I know, seeing she still needs to change my nappy and burp me etc at 42? Now she wants to get treatment from a physio as well. Fine, I said, recommended a mate. You can pay him to do what I do and give the same advice, which you won’t listen to. Now I’m nasty and cynical as well. Thank you natal Saturn in the fourth plus transitting Saturn conjunct my natal Chiron.

    Yes, yes I should rise above it etc and be grateful that I receive validation elsewhere. But my mother has never given me a single word of validation in my life. In fact, she argues with absolutely everything I say to the point where it’s not worth talking to her. It’s very tiresome. Apart from being the only member of my family who sees her regularly, I’ve been treating her weekly for the past ten years and have successfully kept her off painkillers and anti-inflammatories etc, but she can’t manage a kind word.

    Last year, through astrology, I realized most of my Saturn lessons were about self worth and versions of this ancient crap with my wounded antisocial mother.

    • That is really hard -and draining x
      you are most celebrated here. I find your wisdom insight and humour utterly invaluable xxxx

    • Wow maybe shes just gotten so reliant on you being there that she has never really felt the vacuum of loss/space that would actually force her to take a look at herself and change.
      I’ve felt that it happens with a lot of parents (particularly my own) where they aren’t reallyfully developed people when they first become parents so rather than giving to the kids its more about moulding them- kids mould around whatever their parents do/say.
      My mum has so many problems that she is just extending now because she has my brother to constantly project onto.
      Its such a shame because the cycle never really ends…unless that kid can grow up and get HIMSELF sorted out….it passes on to the next generation

      • Thanks guys. Yep, she’s very dependent on me, and had a tough childhood, from which she hasn’t really progressed emotionally. She doesn’t have the emotional resources to understand the problem or negotiate her way out, so the challenge for me is to have patience and not demand more than she is capable of giving.

        Sometimes I get sooky though, lol.

    • Wow that would be infuriating, to have all your hard work and professional wisdom or achievements disregarded like that.
      It was not until spending some substantial time with friends and their mothers that I realized mothers even DID things like validate their daughters. I go overboard with mine now as know first hand how dysfunctional a young girl running around with gnawing insecurities can get, seeking reassurance that she is attractive, has an opinion worth hearing or that she even matters

        • Synchronicity TLS – reading your post and simultaneously realising I was never validated by my parents as a child/adolescent/adult yet I do it automatically for my own. My goddess I never want my kids to experience that deep insecurity I felt (and that I spent years unconsciously resentful for) – all depleting self destructive emotions.

    • My mother too has a hard time to find words to appreciate. First I released her from the burden of validation – it took an hour long of wailing, then began mental kung-fu to counter her emotional drama: Let her control small things but move her along the big scheme.

      Let me know if you discover any other way. :)

    • Oh Uber..are you sure you’re not talking about my mother?

      Mine has never really said anything positive about myself or sisters, everyone else’s kids are “amazing and so talented”
      You know after forty something years, I give up…I just give up.

      And, as a mother myself I still spend a lot of time saying to myself “I will not be like her, I will not be like her”

      I am sorry that you still make such an effort and she is still a difficult. You deserve better. xx

      • II can relate, UV, I have not spoken to my mother in 27 yrs. Too much pain to want to drag out in a post. Hopefully I dealt with my mother issues as a child and as an adult I can choose to sever the f’d up ties. Sounds mean, but it is absolutely essential to my wellbeing and my chidrens.

      • 3rams, ta, you’re a peach. I feel like giving up sometimes, but my poor Mum is adopted, and is terrified of abandonment (whilst constantly testing the boundaries). She seriously regressed once when I did a tough love style boundary call.

        Apart from having a good old vent and sooky moment, I posted this because I know a lot of people have similar issues with their Mums. It’s not like she’s evil or anything, just hard work. She isn’t self aware enough to understand how her behaviour impacts others. Whereas some poor people have mothers who are full blown saboteurs.

        2Natured, I can relate. Sometimes it’s best to cut the tie for one’s own survival. My Mum is hard work, but my Virgo father is an out and out vindictive abusive prick. I have nothing to do with him anymore, and that was easy because I have zero respect for him and doing so made my life more comfortable. I can persevere with my Mum because deep down, she doesn’t mean any harm.

        • I don’t know, it comes to a point though where breaking away might be the best thing? I mean everyone has issues of some sort, and it seems you’ve made peace with hers but does that really mean you should spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around hers? Wouldn’t that just be a waste of your potential?
          Maybe theres something within you that needs to be let out/grokked that is still tieing you to her (speaking for myself here as well..)

          • It’s more of an opportunity for me to exercise my good qualities, compassion, tolerance, patience etc Sometimes taking some responsibility is the best use of our potential and one way of knowing we’ve finally grown up.

            She is destructive in her own way, but aren’t we all? She’s like a child and can’t help herself, and as difficult as she is, she really does do her best. Unlike my father, whose only ever done his best for his own interests, and to hell with anyone else. He’s like a child too, but his destructiveness is calculated, narcissistic and unrepentant. I persevered with him for a long time too, but got burned one time too many, whilst he was busy burning others as well.

            The key for me with my mother is to continue to support her, but I’ve got to toughen up. She’s over seventy, and at this point in her life she won’t be doing any emotional growth and it’s ludicrous to expect it. I get what you’re saying and my siblings find her too difficult, but it’s not going to do me any harm to continue helping her out. Irritating and taxing yes, harmful no. Nor will it stop me from doing my own stuff. I guess that’s the decision I’ve made and I made it a long time ago, when I realized she’d done her best in bringing us up, and it was the right thing to do to be there for her in her old age. If you feel it will harm you to persevere with your parents, perhaps cut yourself off, but if anything, my relationship with my mother has taught me a lot about myself. Potentially, it can become a source of strength.

          • Your right…that’s great. I really enjoyed reading that, i like your perspective…

          • Interesting reading Uber. I’m currently temporarily living in my mother’s home whilst sorting property settlement (which I’ve rabbited on about endlessly soz). She’s just back from 2 months in Europe and is very similiar in that she has no insight to her own issues and she is in her 70s too. I had a difficult childhood (Saturn conj Asc and Chiron in 1st house) with both parents “unavailable” due to their own problems. Basically I was left to fend for myself emotionally and felt responsible for my two younger sisters wellbeing. I have been disconnected from my mother for many years and only now through partly necessity and partly good therapy am at a point where I can be objective and not react unconsciously to her. It’s only been a few days and she’s already doing the “are you going out in that?” and “are you going to comb your hair?” LOL! I’m 45 years old but she still managed to momentarily derail me. And I’ve been wearing my hair wild and curly (natural) since November 09 after straightening it for 10 years every fuqing day. When I straightened it she used to say “oh I like your hair curly” blah blah. Still my reactions are changing (showing some tolerance, compassion and patience) and hopefully it will get through to her. I’m also mothering her atm as she has been in jetlag mode and has been enjoying my cooking etc. Curiously we are both Kataka moons and she is a Pisces sun with Sagg rising. I am beginning to see the good things she passed onto me too so very apt post for me Mystic. But hell, roll on end of July as I’d really like to get my settlement and get my own place! It’s a really weird feeling explaining to your mother where you are going/been etc.

          • Never drop your guard, feline, lol. And don’t expect the patience, tolerance etc to get you anywhere with her. Truly, elderly people have a lot of trouble changing, particularly habitual behaviours. It’s extremely unlikely to change her, but it makes things easier for you.

          • Trust me Ubes I’ll never drop my guard – too much history makes my hyper aware of her. Thank goddesses next week i can stay at the Toros house with my kids while they (the Toros) are on hols. Just weird things like she has the whole house lit up at night and the TV blaring yet the the house has to be dim in the day. I sit out here at night on the patio with my laptop to escape the TV noise. Really odd experience yet illuminating at same time, looking at her objectively and imagining how a child would be effected (as per therapist instructions) – demolition astro could have it’s benefits after all, lol. x

    • I might just add here that one of my bestest friends is the Aqua Air Mother, who I rabbit on about from time to time. She’s my parents’ age and a former drug and alcohol counsellor and I swear to goddess she is the most nurturing person in the universe. We have the most beautiful friendship and I get so much support from her. My advice to anyone who is missing mothering from their lives is definitely to outsource. Thankfully I can provide support to her too — she needs cooing and validation as well — which is why it works so well for us, I reckon.

  6. A very Happy B-day to our sexy & appreciated Fallen Angel in LA.
    And to all our Mother Moon signs here.
    Blessings & gifts to you…….x

  7. My mother sun kataka 2 deg. Me, aries with Mars at 2 deg Kataka. and we are middle eastern jews. hmmm. Need I say more ?

    • My Grandfathers family were Jews- in- denial from England
      where they immigrated (or hid) from Europe round 15th-16th Century.
      Still have the surname so when i buy something the price usually goes
      Like the ‘you white-you pay double’ that was used in Africa. Still is!

  8. I remember ONE compliment from my Mother
    ‘You have beautiful cheekbones’…..or is it one only remembers
    the negative coz it has such a powerful effect?

    Do all the guilt you can with them whilst they are ALIVE coz
    i’m here to tell you that if you don’t it will come i hard & fast
    after they die……for years even….maybe forever?

    Luckily was brought up my Grandmother, Nana, a Kataka of
    the most nurturing kind, along with the requisite large boobies
    and round tummy unlike the model thin and haute elegance of
    the Scorpio…er um…Sister? Def not mother material some Scorps?
    Eat their young & poison themselves to death…oops. Hardcore, huh.

    • You just reminded me of my grandmother Pegasus. Very nurturing Piscean who I lived with as a teen due to motherly neglect. I guess we find our mothering where we need it.

      Thanks for the memory (I nearly typed mammary lol).

    • hmmm beauty competition. that sounds familiar xx

      Scorpio as mother is hit and miss agreed. I love my ma but she’s not maternal. We born on same day scorpio
      (i was saturn returns birthday present) and sister is scorpio as well, all have virgo mars ontop of each other
      she DID try to eat me
      but I grew to big ;)

  9. I have only really been present to a lower scorp mothering energy and thank the lord she aint my mum

  10. Seriously intense mother-exposure in recent months has revealed… am free of mumma issues… and daddy issues, too. Wow, whattafeeling. Was worth all the inner work over the decades to get there. Freeeeeedom. :)

  11. About a fortnight ago I dreamt that both my mother & father were talking of my twin brother & I, speaking of their pride in us both & the light we had brought to the world…..being Leos, thats all we needed to here! My folks would never say anything like that/sometimes a dream can heal where reality can’t even reach.

  12. Healings and blessings to you all who are processing this ‘interesting time’ we all seem to be having.

    I have been reading a fantastic book called ‘Radical Forgiveness’ re: letting go, finding resolution etc etc. It’s been really really helpful. I’m not saying my life is now perfect but I’ve been able to relax about many aspects of my past, and forgive myself and others.

    BUT – its tiring and I’ve been sleeping ten to twelve hours a night then having nana-naps. I cannot push myself, even if I want too, my body simply refuses to speed up so I’m just going with the flow and being grateful for my bed. I’ve also swapped the vino for milk, biscuits and high calibre novels. Its winter here, this is what needs to be done.

  13. Urgh! Mother issues, I have been a mother since I could remember. Spent the last, dunno how long, giving Mum (& Dad) back all their children while I recovered myself and started to properly nurture my own. The last 3 years has really been about breaking the little wheel of care that I was on since childhood once & for all. It’s others that try and drag you back there that’s been the ongoing problem.

  14. After losing my mum twice, the first being when I was little & then her passing away 20 years ago I grew up being disgruntled with the world & then felt shame for doing so. I was consumed with so much grief when she died that I never knew how to describe the feelings, it was painful & intense. I remember looking into a bathroom mirror just to see if I had a reflection because it felt like I disappeared.
    I had only just lost my dad a few months before & I prayed that she would come & make everything all better. But she didn’t even know to & she never knew what happened to dad before she died.
    As a child it was all about what I had lost but as an adult now I see that the world works in mysterious way & as much as I will always miss my mum I appreciate the times we had & the bond we shared. I have also learnt that grief is much better out than in.

    Last night’s dream I was clearing out a garden that was filled with leaves & branches that had fallen. I was working hard!

    • That’s such a beautiful dream Barista. I get the feeling you do work so very hard?

    • Your story with your parents is incredible and sad. It’s amazing you’re so well adjusted. That’s a dreadful age to lose your parents (not that any age is great). Adolescents often see themselves as responsible in some way, just as they do if their parents divorce.

  15. lol I am leaving on a trip to Europe with my mom tomorrow…I’m already sick of her…this’ll be interesting

  16. I went over to my parents house on Monday night….
    … I was struck with how smart my mum is, emotionally… and how she always can say the right thing (when she wants to). Also that she knows what I am thinking without my having to say it.
    Which is just a little creepy, sometimes… but this time, it was nice:)
    I baked you a cake and cooked her dinner. At her house.
    Libra moon:)

  17. I may be the mature mothering type towards new Libran date. usually its me flipping out after a first date and dissecting every mo. He’s doing it for me. txting lots etc. its weird being on the other side of the fence. So i can relax and be mature and chic.

  18. Just going to pop this here – but I just had v interesting realisation (I think!) and was wondering if anyone has exp. similar.

    My moon sign is libra. My mother is aries – a competitive irritable relationship there. Not a cuddles relationship. A bit cool. Me probably more than her really. My emotional, mother-love source is another woman a little older than my mother. THis woman is libra sun however I refer to her as my moon mother. Makes sense …

    • Interesting! I’m Scorp Sun, Virgo Moon and my mother is Scorp Sun, Cancer Moon…yet she was never the warm-n-fuzzy maternal type either. Oddly enough she has a lot of earthy Virgo traits, (far more than me!) but has no Virgo anywhere in her chart. She also has Scorp Rising, so you’d think she’d be a big ball of emotions, but at least outwardly she never exhibits such traits. She’s all about practicality, being progressive and working towards something. She’s a nurse, so she has a compassionate side, but she’s also a “fixer” and thinks that emotional issues are more or less just “in your head”. When I went through a depression in college she told me it to just get over it and think happy thoughts. Hello? Where is all that water sign sensitivity when you need it?

      The women that I have gotten emotional support from have tended to be Pisces. I have an aunt who is a Pisces, an older co-worker is also one and teases me about being her adopted daughter. My mother’s astro is still baffling to me, and I wonder if her mother being an Aquarius (distant, aloof, emotionally unattached?) had anything to do with that. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out because my sister (another Scorp Sun, Cappy Moon) is pregnant and I think being a grandmother will be more emotional for her than being a mother was. Maybe something to do with not being the primary caregiver. I don’t remember my Aqua grandmother as being unemotional, but maybe my mother saw her that way. Hmm…Firey, what was your grandmother’s astro like, if you know?

      • facinating! I will investigate my granny’s astro – she is a libra sun … very self-contained, again not very physically warm, but an adored grandmother by all of us cousins. mind whirring ….

        Of your mum, I tend to think of scorp’s as quite earthed ppl, volcanic earth, plutonic, earthquakes … it sounds like something is affecting that kataka moon? But I know so little, just playing with ideas … have also noticed that on a solar level, virgos and pisces really support each other (I know a few couples of that sun combination) so virgo moon nurtured by the pisces …

        off to play with my granny’s birth deets !