What Sign Is She And W.T.F. Has Happened Here?

girl in bathtub with flowers and high heeled bootsWHAT is going on here?

This totally fits my Moon-Neptune in Aquarius mood.

That IS what is going on right now.  Moon-Neptune = dreamy, beauty-loving surrealist with a foot fetish in the mood to only arrange flowers but Aquarius gives it a zany edge.

Image: Oyster Magazine-pic by Zoey Grossman-styled Cat Wennekamp

95 thoughts on “What Sign Is She And W.T.F. Has Happened Here?

  1. She’s a cancer who demurely ended dinner with her scorpio lover (she jumped into the bath to recover from her martyrish move of wearing uncomfortable kinky boots in his honor)…and in reveling in the bunch of flowers he secretly planted in her bedroom, while keeping him guessing on the outside, she’s secretly tripping on an internal emotional love affair and taking the flowers to mean true romance.

    Or – she’s a scorpio, who is celebrating the conquest of her virgo lover (the white virginal disguise to reel him in), the bouquet she’s clutching is a souvenir from his hotel lobby.

    • That’s is so beautifully put :). I thought Kataka at first sight too.

  2. P.S. Mystic? You know how you said a few posts back, ‘Are you ready for action?’ well.. a very silly thing happened to me yesterday…

    The fire alarm went off in our uni building so my friends and I evacuated to the car park (as you do). I felt totally conflicted listening to the ‘Whoop Whoop’ of the alarm, my skin yearned for my fire-fighting gear just to go and have a look but I waited for the MFS.

    A lovely red truck arrived and while my friends were drooling over the personel who got out I went over to look at the pump arrangements. After a while I noticed the driver was still in the cab so I went to his window to say, ‘I have CABA set envy.’

    He turned around, folded his arms across the steering wheel and smiled, ‘Is that right.’

    OMG He was fuqing GORGEOUS. Dark brown eyes, dark hair, slightly dark skin, cheeky smile and two chocolate chip freckles on his left cheek.

    All I could say is, ‘I’m in the CFS.’ And then I RAN AWAY!!!!

    • Could it be a case of once bitten, twice shy? (or twice bitten, four times etc)

      • I quite like being bitten.. this was a MFS firey (professional) as opposed to a volly (unpaid sucker such as myself).

        My goddess he was sooo hot I dreamt about him last night and this morning…

        mmmmmmmmmmmmm

    • found out who he is and bump into him again. You don’t have to talk if you are nervous. Just be beautiful, smell amazing, have some cleavage and smile at him worshipfully.

      • You’re a Libran, of course you can flirt!! At least you have things in common to talk about. Just mention CABA again.

        Oh how exciting!! Hope you see him again. :)

        • Hahahaha..Scorpalicious, you took the words out of my mouth.

          Bluelib My Girl, hop to it. Get some wind under them Libran wings. OF COURSE you can flirt. Hello, you were born to do it?? That’s like taking ‘intense’ out of the Scorpionic Equation, ‘compassion’ out of kataka, so on and so forth.

      • Really? I have a friend in MFS central who offered to ‘research the roster’ for me but I said, ‘oooh no – just leave it as a beautiful moment’.

        I had cleavage – check.
        Have been smelling of lavendar and rose essential oils – check.
        Smiling – check (?)

        Since MM advised via a Harlot consult.

        Am making a point of wearing dresses to uni every day.

        Besides, most fireys tend to have women ‘worshipping’ them in droves…

        Just a lovely dream to remember…

        Or I could set off the fire- alarm in my building say.. after the 20th ?

        No. Bad Bluelibra bad!

        • “When in doubt, do nothing” or “whatever passes you by was not meant for you” that’s my 2 cents worth for today.

          Only you know the best course of action, but don’t let your past determine your future.

          Setting off the fire alarm after 20th sounds like a cunning plan though. :lol:

        • Yes, but hello, not every woman after fireys is in the CFS. I say, set fire to something.

          As your loins already are… ?? :)

          • Thanks darls.. but I SHALL wait til May 20th and see what happens then.

            It is sooo weird as I supposed to go out tonight but my right kidney is flaring up (it does when I try to do too much) so its home, yummy veggie lentil soup with lots of herbs from the garden; ugg boots, pjs and hopefully a good book.. somewhere!

            So dear fallen.. no my loins are not ready.. yet.

            xoxo’s

          • :lol: genius!

            bluelib, it sounds defo like one of those gawwwgeous moments. I had *such* a huge grin and awwwwing reading about your experience. :)

    • oh my fellow libran… we flirt without knowing it. as my friend used to tell me when i wanted to flirt: “do nothing. just turn your headlights on.” i know you know what that means.

        • *LAUGH* not THOSE headlights! oh wow. i SO have to get me some breasts in the next life… i mean your INNER headlights. you know, where you look around you and light up a room without saying a word.

  3. She’s performing a Brazillian funereal rite. This super-on Scorpy/Aqua/Aries chic is saying sayonara to the sooo 2003 wax & welcoming in an era of eco-vibed natural terrain in the nether regions.

  4. Love it, starstrokes. I have been predicting the come-back of the Big Bush for years, but the damn zeitgeist keeps ignoring me.

  5. I think Pisces, who else would be tits up in the bath after a big cry in your drink session clutching flowers, all tortured like.

  6. She’s a gemini extraterrestri-sexual, new to the planet, and she thinks she’s having an orgy with a bunch of earthling men. She never expected them to be so fragrant, but she isn’t prepared for the ensuing rash. Anyone got any calamine?

      • Uber I have read all the comments, I have pondered a paragraph but I cannot come up with anything myself without thinking of your post and chuckling. Ichi-ban Uber!

    • extraterresTRI-SEXUAL LOLOLOL!!!!! :-)

      It’s DELIA after she stumbled home from the BILL HENSON opening last night with the hunk head of security, high on cheap gallery wine, a line of coke & an audience with Bill (& his known penchant for challenging women!!). His charisma spilled over her enthusiasm, but the encounter cut short by Bill’s overzealous PR manager (with whom he allegedly has a “fun friendship”) – who severed Delia & Bill’s ‘flirt-a-thon’ by enforcing the media blackout on the opening – citing Delia’s recent stint guest editing Interview magazine, unapologetically directing the supermodel security dude to remove Delia from Ros Oxley9, & steered Bill over to Barry Humphries who was loudly proclaiming to Edmund Capon ”if the Prime Minister detests it, I want to see it”….. Barry’s eyes, as did Bill’s, lingered on Delia as she transferred her attention to the security dude, whisterping in his ear they could go to her place for a night cap or something…..

      so who’s to know if drugs or the cheap wine incited the grinding of those stalks, or if Delhia, fresh from the night cap with the security dude, went on to fantasize a star role in a Terry Richardson porn, oops, ‘fashion’ shoot …. mistakingling mixing her photographers as the night descends in a blur. the housekeeper finds her slumped in the bath the next morning …..legs splayed, & all the contents of all the upstairs vases in her arms!!

      Ubers what’s Delisa sign again – was she lower Gem?

      • LOL, of course it’s Delia. Awww, nostalgia, it’s her anniversary. Bust out the Veuve.

        I had to quit doing her PR for a while — to go on stress leave, and she was trying to tell me Bazza Humphries made another scene at the Henson opening, but I thought it was the blow talking, again.

        You know, I ghost wrote her autobiography but Harper Collins rejected it. Said it was too far fetched, to which I said, ‘you effing follow a gemini fashion victim art groupie around for a week — even in flat shoes — and see what far fetched means!’ Publishing hacks.

        And Terry Richardson’s a putz.

        • Terry Richardson’s a fraud – wake me up when he’s over!!

          ps just spotted Delia on Harpers webstream of Fashion Week’s closing show – Ksubi @Fox Studios …. backstage chatting up George Gorrow, utterly ignorant to Ian Aspery beside her….. seems fashion / art victim adheres to ‘Chill Out Sessions’ with no idea re epic rock gods ….?? does she think ROCK is crushed & snorted, or be a show-off piece flashed from a finger?? George’s 22 yr old new German wife looking unperturbed, her shredded trainers trump Delia’s hooker-sque ankle boots hands down. needless to say Delia didn’t change from last night. just added this season’s Nana Undies ala La GaGa – gotta go – seems same head of security as last night (not joking!!) …… round 2 about to start. Happy Birthday Delia, the after party’s about to begin!!

          PS what were those twats at Harpers thinking, ppl are optioning the rights as we speak ….

          • nice try mousey but am allergic to hair skirts & ChillOut Sessions, & don’t do coke!!

          • Hey anon, RLP ain’t Delia. Delia can’t operate a mac keyboard let alone string coherent syntax together a la sentences. She still thinks her iphone is a compact mirror, and will be blown out if she ever accidentally switches it on.

          • And besides, I’ve seen them in the same room at openings. You can recognize RLP because she’s vertical, while Delia is usually diagonal or horizontal.

          • mousey you’re down with Delia’s back story non?
            if not ref TA & Seabird via links above …. then dive back in. blog ID & Gravatar optional of course!

            Ubers – word out – TASCHEN’s looking to segue into new publishing genre ‘low-brow’ & currently shopping $$$$ deals – why not flip yer manuscript there?

          • TASCHEN said I’d written too many words, i.e. more than five, and they wanted Putz Richardson to do the photos. Even Delia said noooooooooooooooo. Fuq no.

          • so the pic above IS Delia, low-flying lower-Gem, & caught reliving her fling with Terry Richardson, tho being FAR from teenage AND terrified her real age will be revealed when The Guardian reveals its next expose into his pornographic antics ALA http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2010/mar/19/terry-richardson-fashion-photography-pornography

            Delia will then be forced to admit she IS, by now, over 30 …. hence her attraction to BILL ….

            btw UBES if you still reckon that manuscript’s worth shopping, stop Delia having coffee with Max Markson if you wanna get to print!!

          • Thanks for the link. I’m glad mainstream media is now outing Richardson.

            lol, Delia is terrified of Max Markson. I made her watch Nosferatu and told her it was a documentary. She’s convinced Markson is a vampire, which is true anyway.

          • Ubes – EVERYTHING about RICHARDSON’s cringeworthy

            “It’s about creating a vibe, getting people relaxed and excited. When that happens you can do anything.”

            He continued: “I don’t think I’m a sex addict, but I do have issues,” pondering, “maybe it’s the psychological thing that I was a shy kid, and now I’m this powerful guy with his boner, dominating all these girls”.

            THIS POWERFUL GUY WITH HIS BONER DOMINATING ALL THESE GIRLS …?!!!!

            poor Delia starfucking has downsides ~ ~ ! !

        • no wukkas – PMS, glad you enjoy Shell – Ubes ALWAYS rises to the fact-meets-fiction-cause espesh when Delia’s in the house!!

          even Le Ram doubled up reading it last night ;-) xox

  7. now THAT’S a libra. in love! not so much with an actual person… just in love! and like any libran with their scales, she has obviously picked out the most aromatic and … biggest flowers to hold. she’s in the tub cause we love to bathe, but didn’t put any water in cause she is still wearing the boots she bought yesterday… with EVERYTHING (or nothing.) besides, she only has some aromatherapy bubble bath left and it doesn’t go with floral notes.

    her head is to the side, but her feet are fairly balanced, or as balanced as a libra can actually be.

    she will stay like this until the flowers wilt, the boots bore her or she suddenly decides she fuqing HATES floral anything. then she will move to the shower with a new pair of shoes (probably flats or birkenstocks) and a bunch of eucalyptus springs. she will still not turn the water on.

  8. this is a scorpio- you can tell by the shoes and the eyes closed in ecstasy in the bathtub- libra moon….masturbating.

  9. Scorpio (the shoes) and she seems to be toying with death…..whatev the starsign- would someone PLEASE feed her!!!! The flowers (even cut flowers) look more alive and healthy than she does.
    There could be an Icequeen element a la Aquarius…sorry just can’t get over the fact I want to give her some food. Starsign is “Stupid” and “nearly dead”.. Why do people chose to look like that when they can afford food given the expenditure on flowers and shoes and eyeshadow!!!!??????

  10. Libra methinks. Her erstwhile on-off Cappo sent a few virtual petals and said ‘hop in the bath babe, I’m on my way’. She weighed it up – should she run the bath? In her heart of hearts she knew that it might get cold as Cappo-talist chap is easily waylaid if there’s a $ to chase. He sends seeds and petals, and in her mind a whole gorgeous grove of blossoms grow. And once in a moment of utter madness he bought her those spiky fuq-me boots. Take me, she’s thinking & dreaming, the sex they don’t have always being more exquisite than the sex they do have. Later she will throw the blooms across the lawn, and as soon as she finds a wild party where she can vent, or stumbles across a sublime picnic atop a verdant green hill she will put him behind her. Again.

  11. ps lucky the spa is not full of water and jets are not on….she would be sucked up through the vents twot first! Maybe the flowers and shoes are there to prepare her for this possibility ….all someone would see the next day are some scorpionic shoes sticking out of the vent holding a beautiful flower arrangement

  12. she’s a scorpio perfumista on a neptune transit, rubbing herself all over a new bouquet for ‘divine inspiration’ to nail the perfect combination of pheromones at the height of orgasm and her precisely arranged bouquet of the new florals

    • this is Ms

      This reminds me actually..
      I wanted to become a perfumist when I was little.
      I thought all perfume came from flowers so I collected a lot of jars and wandered around trying to find people with nice gardens and collect different flowers based on scent, then I infused them with hot water and left them to stew. My mother had a bottle of Chanel no5 in her top draw and told me it was very expensive so I wasn’t to touch it. I used to sneak in and sniff it as to try to make that exact smell from memory with flowers so she wouldn’t have to buy it and I could make her nice things.

      someone told me after watching this on going experiment that perfume is made in big machines. I was so pissed off that I couldn’t make her perfume. how was I to compete with machines?

      • Me too! I loved my perfumes. WOW! Thank u for the nostalgic hit…I was so happy when i discovered essential oils…Far more pong potential than my macerated flowers

        • awesome!
          xoxoxoxoxoxo

          yeah watery flower juice doesn’t pack much punch. Gotta get the carrier oils…. A lot of perfumes make me gag with synthetic air pollution but I just loved the idea of being some mad old woman with viv westwood hair in france making scents like an alchemist importing rare ingredients and a fashion label.

          smell is beyond powerful and stains your memory. My nan always wore white linen by estee lauder and I will always think of her when I smell it. When I went home the smell of faint ocean and the air hitting my skin was my first emotion and memory. Memory and emotions are so important, its the whole inspiration for design and love for me. x

      • Love it Ms!
        I still make perfumes. Never grew outta it.
        Have got over the essential oils tho, not sure why – just found they turn a bit off smelling on a humid day (Capricorns are sweaty sorts…)
        But you can’t buy little bottles of pure ethanol in the supermarket anymore… At least not in inner east sydney with the boozy homeless issues perhaps… So now I stock up on those little aeroplane bottles of Stoli and Grey Goose and fill them with chunks of amber resin, frankincense, cinnamon chips, coffee beans (great base note), a couple of drops of an amazing sandalwood i found in brussels (ooh that does sound romantic) and whatever my latest fancy might be.
        Then you play for hours decanting and mixing them.
        Visitors are a little concerned / repulsed by the sludgy line up of mini vodka bottles, but what the hey… Who needs ooky chemical eau de toxique.
        Oh, that’s the chemophobia talking… again…

        • I am amazed by all the home brewing going on here, I had no idea people did these things, just marvellous. Past life as a white witch much Lexicorn?

          Issey Miyake did a non-alcohol parfum which smelled like honey and came in a rainbow coloured bottle and I could never find it again…

        • wow look at you all go!

          I have only just started collecting again Lex (suitcase life has its boundaries..) but you have inspired me. I found some amazing honey amber at the alchemist last time I was in melbs that I was saving so spooky you mention amber and honey. coffee is great tip. I love musks and deep woods but getting into exotics again.

  13. Eyes closed, inspired as she listens to Nick Cave and Kylie’s Where The Wild Roses Grow, this Virgo Queen offers herself up as a sacrifice to save all womankind….’Turn on the jets’, she says. ‘I’m ready to go, pure and free in my sexuality, BECAUSE WE SHOULD NOT TAKE ANYMORE OF THESE FUQIN TORTURE TOOLS OF MALE FASHION DESIGNERS’!

  14. She’s a Taurus dreaming of the end of this freaking Mercury Retrograde. She just got done gardening and was about to take a bath, but the smell of those flowers and her wicked cool shoes she’s too nervous to try in public (after May 11th she totally will though) sent her into day-dream-topia.
    One of her heels will either punch a hole in her tub or turn on the cold water and she’ll snap out it, grumble about Mercury Retrograde some more, then gorge herself on cupcakes.

    XD

  15. She is a Capricorn who has just spent the morning with her Japanese Reiki Master (JRM) who she has had flown in to town. Just easier that way, she is busy! She is the CEO of some engineering company & has JRM on speed dial to be delivered at her doorstep 24/7. Sure it costs a packet but she has made over a 30% profit buying up blue chip stocks & the dividends are rolling in. It is like FREE MONEY. Of course she squirrels her pay packet each quarter but she feels Reiki is an investment anyway & she is using FREE MONEY!

    This morning after a big session with JRM she is feeling brand new & floating on a cloud. She throws herself onto the couch & switches on Bloomberg to see the stocks have plummeted thanks to the ‘fat finger’. She FREAKS when she see’s her profit margin falling… SHIT! After some number crunching she realises she might have to cut back on JRM! She HATES this how does she keep this feeling in between those sessions…. Lightbulb moment….. She gets her fav designer shoes & fav flowers from the vase. She climbs into the bath & writhes around trying to get rub some off some of her Qi onto the flowers which will be used to concoct an intense tonic that will cause JRM to fall madly in love with her & he won’t want to leave her side. Problem solved!

  16. Clearly a Pisces (Taurus rising) pothead who was getting ready to go out on a Friday night in her new sexy ankle stilettos when she decided to smoke a spliff while deliberating about the right dress to wear.

    She cranked up the dubstep and started dancing around laughing to herself in her heels and underwear. As she pirouetted around the house, high on the sativa and new scent of spring blossoms coming through the window in the fading afternoon, she pulled on a knitted sweater (very Taurus rising) and stealthily snipped a few of her elderly neighbors’ flowers for her freshly painted yellow bedroom.

    She twirled over to the bathroom to wash her stolen bouqet ["those rich WASP-y neighbors have a hired gardner and won't even notice!"] and trim the stems while lighting up another j. As her playlist switched to a Massive Attack song she collapsed into the tub and slowly inhaled. Just before she passed out she considered calling her date to let him know she couldn’t make it, but figured he’d get the idea after the first half hour or so.

  17. I can’t do the astrological interpretations…my knowledge is just too limited….but I look at this and start to hear the ABC Friday night murder/mystery thing: “Detective…a dead semi naked super model placed in a bath like this is clearly NOT an accident. “….and I can come up with a dozen different suspects (the Brazilian waxer who felt unappreciated, the cobbler of handmade shoes she’d been teasing, her sister, her mother, the boy next door, her international glamour photographer ex etc….before it’s revealed that years of anorexia and exposure to too many cosmetics had given her a fatal predisposition to anaphlyatic shock triggered by the bee that had been lurking in that red rose – and it in fact WAS an accident). No more TV…this is silly.

  18. She’s a Libran, 19ish, and confused about all the recent press about feminism. Is it about being sexy? is it about proudly embracing your womanhood? is it about not needing men? Whilst googling such subjects she came across a website spruiking Uranus in Aries inventions – those flower vibrators seemed the perfect answer to all her questions, feminine, sexy, DIY, and easily hidden in a vase should the cute Aries boy come over.

  19. I just did something SO SO SO apt for the current astro – mortifying.
    I ordered some bras online a while ago and they have not arrived. Has been ages. SO fire off insanely furious missive citing incompetence, possible malign intent on part of merchant, my disappointment at being left braless for an important diplomatic event (not quite true, but you know) and so on.
    Anyway, went through all my actual banking and i never actually completed the order as i said i would. I hallucinated actually making the payment…so a bril combo of poorly handled merc retro crap AND mars getting shirty, dancing around, looking for someones head to kick in.

  20. Monsieur arty porn director has an idea: after reading a particularly raunchy tome about how to DO your astro vis-a-vis sex, he shall show Ms Taurean taken to pleasuring herself with flowers from her garden. Of course being a Scorpio Rising Pisces (perfect porn director???) his actress must wear bloody high, restrictive black shoes and it must must MUST be set in a bathtub. But sans water; he doesn’t want to ruin those shoes. Cue music.

  21. oooooohhhhhhh……..these flowers cost way less than a lelo vibrator and do they ever hit the spot…

  22. Them stamens must be really good in those flowers…them stamens are the breaks totally.

  23. She’s Aries. Has just returned from a dream date. Horribly pissed. Started to undress, then remembered the flowers. Went looking for the biggest vase in the house to put these long stem flowers in and was putting them in the bath, when she remembered that she needed to lie down…

  24. Aw, I think this is beautiful. Here’s my Gothic interpretation: Necrophiliac Pisces dreaming of reuniting with her Cancerian lost lover, clutching the flowers she should have scattered on his grave, but then glugged the ethereal vibes out of some Neptunian potion and ended up staging this Romeo & Juliet style death/bath reunion. However, those dancing shoes are the giveaway she’s not as heartbroken as she ought to be and will get herself out of the stupor in order to go out dancing to a shady Blue Velvet style club with an Aquarian hunk later. Aqua: futuristic kink.

  25. A Cancerian who is taking the meaning of “Love Garden” quite literally. I could throw in some floral bush references but that would be crass n’est pas?

  26. IT’s mercury retro and she has just realised those flowers are reincarnations (haha) of all the past lovers she lost due to her recurring Libran streak of indecisiveness.

  27. Her professional name is ‘whoreticulturalist’
    Her claim to fame – it smells like Roses
    Libran, but of course.

  28. “You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think”??! Sounds like one for your friend Delia. (‘Scuse if this offends anyone, not my intention).