Scorpio Couple Seek Housekeeper

SCORPIO COUPLE SEEK HOUSEKEEPER:

Must be broadminded, efficient, discreet, punctual and able to fit into a size 10 latex costume, t.b.a.

Familiarity with basic Voodoo (Li Grande Zombi etc) an advantage. Flexible hours. Full Moons off. Please note: we are a non daylight household. No cooking nor food preparation.

95 thoughts on “Scorpio Couple Seek Housekeeper

  1. I am concerned about the small dog on his lap. Geez, I’ve become so animal welfare orientated lately. Fab pic.

  2. 8O

    Mars in Virgo says- ‘Hmm at least I will be busy’……….

    Everything else says- *Run & hide*

    • Snap! I thought the same thing run for cover!

      They look like the unknown folk in my dream last night, where the flesh of my body had been cut away. I was just bone, fat & flesh like a loin chop. **Shudder**

      • Sav, did you watch Physiology & Anatomy on SBS Tuesday nite?
        Our skin when skinned can weigh up to 30 kilos from crown to toe to fingers.
        THE largest organ & in plain view. Fascinating but probably gory for anyone
        not amazed by the human body.

        • No, I’m too much of a sook to watch that show, my son & I shudder during the ads for it. Though fascinated with what the body can do seeing it cut into…yik!

          I did cook lamb loin chops for tea last night.

          I keep thinking Angelina Jolie when I look at the woman in the pic.

        • I love the camera angle when in the distance you can see the body Gunther is working on & Dennis the nude model’s butt is at close range ;)

          • Dennis his name….what a spectacular physique he had.
            Gunther looked like a mad Frankenstien with that hat on, Lex.

          • oh yes, Dennis has a fabulous physique :)

            Gunther reminds me of Freddie Kruger with that hat. Creepy.
            I wonder what sign he is?

          • It’s a given, he’s ultra creepy…but I kinda like him !??!

            Scorpie he’s a Cap – 10/01/45

          • Lexicon, (adopting Grandma Sofia from the Golden Girls’ tone), somewhere in Asia, 1988, a movie theatre. Just me and my two GF’s, Legs the Sagg and the S&M Toro, the movie? Waxworks.

            Scene plays out, the business is killing and it happens to be good. There are hotties aplenty in the movie plot, young hero Mark, the Marquis de Sade, and the not quite hot Older Creepy Suspect played by David Warner.

            Legs the Sagg: Oooh, that Mark is HOT. He’s a sweetie. I wanna be his GF. Have his babies.
            S&M Toro (slightly trembling at the scene): My God, is that the Marquis de Sade? I don’t think that’s pain at all..it kinda looks good. I mean, pain is pleasure, non?
            Me: I’m really diggin’ the Creepy Suspect..

            Whiplashed looks from both to me. hahaha

          • Indeed we do, Lexicon (tapping polished fingers conspiratorially)..

            Though I reckon we may actually be considered illegal in some states.. har har

      • Oh I’m all over this..I’m already extending my wrists, here, take me.. smell my Eau de Pluto.

        Love me/spank me/bite me.. the triple threat no?

        • I am reading a vampire novel like no other ever read or seen
          in movie…’Dark Slayer’, think you would like it :-)
          It turns me on completley. The heroine meets her ‘lifemate’
          & together they rid the world of the undead who actually are
          not.
          She has wolves tatooed allover her body & they come to life & protect
          her in battle. Other times they are just a full length silver wolfskin-fur
          coat!
          The word ‘fur’ turns me on even…hahahah.

          • Grrrrrowwwwl…me likey. This is Dark Slayer or something else?

            I am fancying the sharpened teeth all over moi..and the relief of fur for after :)

        • sounds more like a promise FA. Wish I had a laptop so i could go bathe in the moonlight and chat. But scorp moon is in the south sky at the mo, it will move. Love the rays tres sexy. Been called intriguing already tonight — I’m pssst on fire baby. Scorp moon and eros – and proud of it.

          • LG, you are intriguing dahling, whoever said that to you is probably at this very moment trying to Rubik’s cube you in his mind.. mayhaps soon with his hands?

        • Do you know that latex is not the friend of sweat? And that judicious amounts of powder help..as there is no just “slipping” into it?

          It is also not oil friendly if you’re trying to gloss it up, you actually need a special lubricant to help it keeps its sheen..

          Uhm. I read somewhere…

          • yeah sure FA. details details FA and don’t leave out the details. powder sounds ick when you have to remove the suit maybe a quick shower scene and then onto the boudoir .umm I read somewhere too.
            Don’ think the new sagg/scorp crush is Rubiks material but he’s very “responsive’ shall we say.

          • A joke i heard about leather lingerie….you don’t have to wash it,
            just dust it with talcum powder.

        • you asking me Peg? I’m a size 8 – petite. I don’t need latex to feel sexy ;)

        • …. and pretend we’re in an episode of True Blood. :)
          What a hot couple!

  3. EEew…those moldy grapes and crap everywhere. They need a Virgo with super-powers to be their house cleaner. I’d also suggest Hercules seeing as he managed to clean King Augeas’ stables in a day by diverting a river.

  4. non daylight? no food or cooking? EVEN A PISCES HAS LIMITS YOU KNOW

  5. Knowing scorps this isn’t the full job description . There would probably misc duties involving the latex suit etc. I’d apply as there seems little actual housekeeping but lots of action and intrigue in between lolling about gathering dust or playing hide and seek and the winner gets to ???

    • Yeah, I was thinking that rather than a housekeeper, they really want a homewrecker.

      • As in one of those giant metal balls.

        The filth, rubble and dust in that pic deeply disturb me. As does the fact they look like brother and sister.

      • someone they can BOTH sleep with then both fight over. I would love to be fought over. maybe.

  6. Nope sorry darlings, tooo busy. Shall back-burn your house then rebuild. I think we need a cleeean sweep non?

    Oh.

  7. Firstly: They are lying about the food. I can see it on the table. In nice bowls.
    Secondly: Is it always latex? That stuff starts to itch when you get sweaty.

    Otherwise… seems all good to me.

  8. Reminds me of my room but no books…
    And I’m already in trouble re housework…

  9. well since you’re all so keen to rubber up and clean can I change the add:

    Single Scorpio seeks latex housemaid and kitchen bitch?

  10. So, I have to relay this on the scorpy post. I had a passionate make-out session with a younger man on a cliff face under a full moon above the ocean this evening. Yes indeed. It was hot. He is 10 years younger than me..happens to be Virgo but has 3 big-guns planets in Scorpio. I commented on the scenario…he says..”This is the reason for living! This IS living!” ..So there you have it.

        • :D I did the cliff face scenario with a Libran for my 21st. Wanted to do something memorable. He thought i was nuts.

          So, 3 big-guns planets in Scorp – Asc, moon and venus?

          • hehe nice one scorpbot. not sure about asc.. but moon, venus, pluto. I just *love* the Virgo front and scorp interior, it so works for me but let’s face it I don’t think this will turn into a LTR …unfortunately :)

          • WHO CARES??? He seems like the perfect person to be making the moon full with!!! Lucky girl..

          • Virgo front of house, dungeon out the back. :lol: What’s not to love?

            Enjoy it while it lasts. At least you’ll have some delicious memories to reflect on when you’re in your rocking chair.

          • Scorpbot, that’s like the Mullet, non? Business in front, party in the back.. just saying hahaha…

            But yes, I am sooooo jealous. What’s a girl got to do to find a SINGLE UNCOMPLICATED VIABLE INTELLIGENT hottie to make out with??

            Go to the moon???

          • hehe, yes the mullet did come to mind but didn’t want to associate it with lovely Virgos who have better taste.

            Yes, have to say, i’m envious too. I try not to think about it too much. Otherwise i’ll sink into a deep depression! I’m suffering from ennui regarding men, so was a little surprised to feel a glimmer of perkiness when i saw the photo of the gorgeous creatures above, who remind me of the fun i used to have. *sigh*

            Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars
            Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars… :)

          • hey gals, don’t get too envious, he may still be in the ‘young and rude’ stage, I’m not sure…just an inkling based on a thing… deciding whether I bother spending any more time or not, we’ll see. He better not disrespect UP thinking he can get away with it – even if the comeuppance comes in the form of long-range karma. hmm

          • but apart from that, ohh i wish i could send his twin(s) out to you you two for some (ahem) full-moon fun :) lol… have to laugh I tells ya

          • thanks UP, very kind of you.
            I’ll be okay. My time in the sun (or under the moon) will come….

          • Twins???!!! (sputtering/salivating/palpitating)

            Wait, someone’s at the door…oh it’s just my ovaries thumping. UP, you tease! Dare not name my Gemini Twin fantasy..of course, in my version they are gymnasts with abs cut so deep, you would be spellbound and dry-throated watching a drop of water wend its way down those curves for HOURS…(*cough*).. before they perform their synchronized..uhm..act.

            Bluelibra might just have to put me out at that thought. So yep, Scorpalicious Doll..ennui, pining, annoyance, frustration..whatever it is, crocheting won’t solve it put it that way.

            And at this rate, I’m gonna need that time to cover all 9 planets..

    • *SWOON* oooooh what a dream night….utterly divine!! Enjoy UP – you lucky thang!!

  11. hm. i think i actually KNOW this couple. *laugh* they put this ad up and then realise that after all the sex romping is done… they still need a sunny libran to come and actually CLEAN the house. or a virgo… but who wants to listen to the judging? a nice libran will clean up the blood AND the lube. just saying.

  12. I was just looking at the spiderwebs in the corner of the Library this morning.

    Bet this place smells rotten.

  13. Now where did my damn post go??????

    I would:

    – all windows, doors and drapes to let some bloody (no pun intended) fresh air in
    – bitch slap that brooding fellow upside the head and tell him to go take his damn dog for a walk
    – kick lazy chick off couch in order to at least pick up crappy grape residue whilst I spring clean
    – bury all latex in backyard with attached warning hazard signage as burning is an eco-hazard
    – remain unimpressed by threats of death, dismemberment, blood letting and show them my resume of previous ex boyfriends
    – maintain a Milly Molly Mandy air whilst cooking a fine feast

    • Let’s get you your own reality show Prowln, you can be like Super Nanny except for Wayward Adults Who Do Nothing But Sulk!

      Trust me, Hollyweird could use a Force of Reformation like you!

      • Oh MY GOD!! It would be totally rad because I would be sooooo unphased by telling famous people off.

    • Noooooo u r evil PC. Not the light we’ll melt and wither. Not the latex nooo. Don’t hurt us or we will cast an evil spell on you which involes dismemberment and blood letting and whats that smell eeeewwww fresh food. You r doomed PC ass oona s I can find my junior sorcery kit..Open the curtains will ya i can’t see a damed thing.

  14. This is kind of the opposite of my current household….i live with a scorp couple(born on the same day no less!!) who do all the housework, all the cooking, shopping etc etc

    We are all perfectly happy with moody silence….and those brick walls really muffle the sound of latex on latex action!!

    • Perhaps that is the sound of someone gagged and bound instead, CC?

      But Scorp folks are also immensely practical, I actually have never met a Scorp who didn’t manage their life to function well on that level while accommodating whatever inherent darkness they’re gifted with.

    • WOT??? And cover those SexRay eyes.. tsk tsk.. noooo… Scorpionic eyes do more conjugating than some languages CC.. specially if you temporarily rob them of speech.

      Not that I’m suggesting, have had any knowledge of, or was aware of small animals being hurt during such an endeavor.

    • Hello there LGS, welcome to the wonderful world of being a leonic gem. I’m sure that you’ll find it much more witty and wonderful than some old straight talking aries malarky. Here in leonic gem world we get to shine, flit about and look at every story from all sides. Add in that scorpyness and now you get to revell in complexity. Hooray!
      Maybe LeoGem might work better for short?

      • And I thought no one would notice shell…!!!!! This would have felt like an Aries moment in a previous life.

        I think you are right about LeoGem now should I get rid of the Scorploona? It looks funny though!

        Testing, testing.

        • i noticed. :)
          It’s been amusing watching the evolution of the moniker. I think you should keep the pic of the tiger so peeps recognise you until you come up with the final name.

          what about LeonicGem? we know you have Scorp moon.

          • Yes that Scorp Moon has a lot to answer for though..! I thought I was brash and outgoing, but I am obviously just interested in exposing emotional truths in a plutonic fashion!

          • I cannot get Gravatar to work and now have deleted my lovely watery tiger.
            With my new birth time I am a Double Tiger and have lots more water trines – no wonder I was attracted to a pic of a swimming Tiger!

            I was thinking to just call myself Andromeda and be done with it.

        • ah well, your tiger was still showing up then. And I had seen your earlier note.
          I like Andromeda too.

  15. Oh look. There’s home. I’m aqua with moon in scorpio. My daughter is scorpio with, well, I’m not sure what, I’m just beginning to work this out. But I recognize that squalor. It’s new to me — up until a couple of years ago, my environment was immaculate. I’m not sure what’s happened . . . I’m working on it, okay? I’m working on it.

  16. … it is then! Cool, I remembered seeing her chained to a rock and the titan rising out of the water in an oil painting in the art gallery as a kid. I loved the s&m I think…
    Now I think it’s attractive for the symbolism of the chthonic watery depths, the idea that as humans we are all chained by the material force of this reality and Perseus’ winged horse is a lovely symbol of fire and air to me. Tho he did knock off old Medusa’s head…

  17. Sacre Bleu, you all are far more sexy & interesting than peeps in pix.
    Wasn’t it Pegasus that sprung from Medusa’s head?
    Bit rusty on The Illiad.

    • I don’t know who popped out of Medusa’s head but she is conjunct my Sun and being Aries (rules the head….) this lopping off thing/convo is getting frightening…

      :0

  18. “There are several versions of the birth of the winged stallion at the edge of Earth:
    One is that they sprang from the blood issuing from Medusa’s neck as Perseus was beheading her.
    In another version, when Perseus beheaded Medusa, they were born of the Earth, fed by the Gorgon’s blood. A variation of this story holds that they were formed from the mingling of Medusa’s blood and sea foam, implying that Poseidon had involvement in their making”.

    Thank you for making me look this up!

    Anyone know why Mystic chose Medusa as her symbol? I just found out she was a handmaiden of Athena punished for bonking Poseidon, but I prefer her as a man-hating marine deity I think.

    Fear not Sweet Pea, your splendid Arian Sun will ensure you do any lopping off of heads around here!

  19. “No cooking nor food preparation”. Ohhh maybe this is why I don’t cook/never use the oven/kitchen! My Mercury and Venus in Scorp. Is that really a scorp thing?? :)