Mercury @*%^&#

Jason Jagel

I always know when it is going to be a doozie of a Mercurial Bats phase when the thing starts early…

So, last night went to the movies with the Scorpio Sex Academic who was gloating that she’d gotten in before Mercury Retrograde and had her car done over by the mechanic that day.  Perfect running order. A good feeling. Efficiency plus etc.  Cue the clutch making hideous choking noise and car conking out in middle of mega-busy road, blocking entrance to mega-plex carpark on mega-busy night.

Lol and thank fuq for the jaunty hot Saggo type who jumped out of his car, huge grin on face, oodles of empathy to help. That kind of vibe saves civilisation again and again.

And now e-mail is doing paranormal activity on me. It won’t do this and it won’t do that until I delete some damned e-mails – FINE. But it won’t let me damned well delete.

I  need a techie who does Shiatsu shoulder massage.

If you have not gotten an e-mail from me, this is why, I am so sorry and I am endeavouring to fix things asap – before Mercury is actually officially retrograde.

48 thoughts on “Mercury @*%^&#

  1. my computer caught a nasty virus and i’ve been patching it up for the last WEEK – only just starting to act normal again

    good luck with the email. i like the “let it restart and it might just fix itself” method

  2. No computer meltdown here but feeling very edgy about most things espesh teen son social arrangements which are contantly fluid and without a car I have no control over. I’m letting scorp boss get to me way too much, missed my bus this arvy etc etc, FUQ i’m going to hide in dark cupboard till May. Goodbye, however i am going out tonight to see a band with gf so all is not so bad.

    • Count on running into an ex-something whilst grooving, LG.. is it just me but I seem to hear sinister laughter echoing as this merc retro dawns.

      On a completely unrelated note, if Merc Retro slows EVERYTHING down, what does it do to anxiety-ridden Saturn Complexed Capp Men???

      Fling them back to reviewing 2 centuries of information before making a decision?? I mean, they are sloooooooowwwwww as it is, any slower and ovaries will be in a museum.

      • I know dahls. I went out with one for a while. Anal! don’t start me. unless he has some aries in him then you’ll be oK ( said with a sigh and a hug). otherwise get busy getwith somehitng else and banish him and don’t do like me and consult Oracle every day. aaagh i’n driving myself crazy.

        • hahahahaa..oops too late.

          I think the Oracle actually gave me the finger and told me to piss off. Sigh..but thanks for the hug, am SO trying which is probably why it is not working.

          • Hah, its done that to me before, basically told me to bugger off and do something else. It’s definitely a sign when it does that.
            Maybe the general saturn vibe is enhancing the attractiveness of saturnian types?
            hang on I’m saturnian, shall adopt that mantra.

          • Remember Cappy is also capricious…….they are good if you can catch em or get em in that mood.

            Speaking meself.

          • Blackstar that is precisely the problem…the catching part is proving to be tricky.

            Though most people would say it’s more the fact that clearly he has personal issues :)

  3. well… at the 23.99th hour, I’ve had a new job pulled out from underneath me. apparently the powers that be forgot to have the conversation about whether there was actually enough money for the new job. a sensible person at a lower pay classification would have determined the available funding prior to embarking on the numerous discussions about offering the position to me… however it does seem that the more you get paid, the less sensible you are, and the less you consdier the impacts of your ill-informed decisions on the poor pleb who has spent the last week finalisign work in her current role; tidying her desk; and doing the head shift required. Not to mention the impact on the rest of the current team who kindly organised a leavign afternoon tea, only to have the bad news conveyed in the 15 mins prior… is this mecury retrograde or WHAT!!!!

    • OH HON! That is vile, but so typically corporate.. it’s just so NASA (i.e. yes, we got to the moon, now what?).

      Any chance they can hold the position for you? I assume it’s necessary..what am I saying, these people didn’t even check their account before going shopping. I feel for you and yes, you have every right to be as goaty and as angry as you want to be!

      ps tell them you can help them pull their heads out of their asses for a nominal fee.

    • Oh major commisserations! I’m waiting to hear about a job, so feel the pain….

      • Better off outta that merde, girl. It would kept going like that…..
        Just make em accountable…..

  4. Yes, this IS turning out to be the Mother of all Mercury Retrogrades, it’s like a fekking yawning beast.. is it..the Cracken? (sp?)

    My new “super space age uber media it even has a flashlight” phone just now told me it refuses to take a picture as I had not “configured the camera”, huh? It was taking video just the other day, it’s retro fickleness I tell you. I still have NO TV, I tried to post a comment here earlier only for it to hang..then get booted over to the narky, “you already said that” page when I go back and see that I didn’t (no worries, it’s just a comment, the world will live).

    AND yes, my Control Top Leo boss is still trying to contract IT Support, right like NOW..still without having addressed the fact that we are on an Antiquated platform known as Windows 2000, and that she is essentially trying to erect a state of the art airport right on top of a crumbling pyramid in Egypt. The word “sinkhole” persistently comes to mind.

    NOW, I wish there was a Hot Jaunty Saggo Type for each and every retro dilemma, last I checked they are low-tech and apt to regale you with a baudy tale as they sweep you off for a walk/ride/flight. In fact, if I were Ruling Goddess of the Universe I would subsidize the world with them, create an entire army of Saggables specifically deployed as Merc Retro Special Forces.

    I could endure all sorts of merc mishaps when my Divine Feminine is set on purrr…..

  5. Oh – I was just about the walk out and buy new phone….. somehow the Retro was in my consciousness, but not conscious.

    Said plan well and truly back burnered……

    • In my defense, I got this a clear 10 days before the Merc Retro..but obviously this one is tres powerful, and penetrating my force field.

  6. Birds are dropping baguettes into my arrangements left and right, and it hasn’t officially started yet…

    And a no-fly zone across Europe while an Icelandic volcano does its thing?

  7. As in Mel Gibson splitting from Oksana after what is literally the batting of an eyelid.. Pluto in Cap I see.

  8. I’m so busy I can hardly @*%^&# breathe! … did not even have time to investigate volcano erruptions or the blog or crackbook today! Heavens to betsy…

    • dear miss mystic and the love of my first ever online romance (i saved myself for you kitten; how’s that for libran bullshitting? )


      i told you the multverse is safe. and good for you miss M. *winkwinknudgenudge*)

  9. Now Mystic, I am disappointed. This story represents either a missed opportunity, or a failure to disclose all the really good dirt. You and the scorp sex shaman in distress, stalled on the side of the road, rescued by a Sag in shining armor? I expected to hear details of what happened behind the fogged up car windows.

    Remember, for every Mercurial disaster, there is always an opportunity lurking somewhere, even if it is nothing but a tale you will tell for ages to come. Mercury always loves a great story. For example, I just saw a headline for a story about the newly released satellite photo volcanic ash cloud in Europe. It is a doozy, one that people will remember for years (or at least I will). So here it is, it’s brilliant:

    Volcanic Eyjafjallajökull dirt-splurt space snap
    ESA offers plane-buster Icelandic gunge plume sat pic

      • Wha? Ha ha the gunge plume sat pic headline, or ha ha Mystic’s misadventures?

        That was a damn good headline. I’m jealous, they always give MY stories a boring headline. The editor was on a roll with some incredible headlines, must have been that Mercury-Moon conjunct. Here’s another good one:

        Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased

        Oh here’s another classic, although the story made it too easy:

        New road made from pigsh*t in Missouri
        Porcine dandruff almost sty-mies chocolate highway plan

  10. Oh, yes, definitely starting early. The bats have started creeping up at work with the most ridiculous questions and 2 days ago I encountered (in various locations) 3 separate server issues. It’s gonna be a long one, I think.

  11. Definitely starting early, loads of paranormal activity online too.
    It’s going to be a biggie.

    Apple iPad also postpones international launch date by a month. Steve Jobs should get an astrologer, it’s funny I was so sure he had one, but after this merc retro launch, not so sure anymore.

  12. I need a techie who does Shiatsu shoulder massage.

    That sounds like a gold mine of an idea Mystic!

    • Actually, I am a techie and I give amazing Shiatsu shoulder massages. But lately my services have not been in demand. At all.

  13. Umm, so signing the contract to sell my house this morning means it all will end up pear shaped?? I hope not as i’m so very happy with the price :-) Anyone know what time Merc goes retro today??? The Astrodeinst thingy has Merc still forward motion. Signed the dotted line at @ 11.20 am.

    • Also found out my lovely real estate agent is a Taurus! I have Jupiter in Taurus in the 3rd house and got onto him through my neighbour who is also a Taurus who just sold her house last week with same agent. Taurus is a real estate sign tisn’t it.

      • Yes it is. I have Jupiter in Taurus in 4th house and have always had luck with real estate. I think you’ll be fine with merc retro.

        • Thankyou darlink! I hope you’re right. I do have a good feeling about it all and I did sign b4 merc retro (technically!)

      • emphermis has it going retro at 12 degrees 38 minutes FF. So maybe you squeezed it in there?

    • I wouldn’t stress too much – my mum brought a new (second hand) car during the last Merc Rx and has had nary a prob – but then again, the car she traded in was a NIGHTMARE, and a flash Japanese model too boot (so obscenely exy to fix (says she of the Swedish Auto obsession). New car is a 3 year old Holden, goes like the clappers, and is stress free! I suspect it was the several months of research that was the trick…