Astro-Gaga: Who ARE These Chicks?

Three months gratis Alpha Mystic Subscription (worth $55) to the person with the best and/or funniest astrological explanation as to what these chicks/store dummies/Stepfords are doing here in the supermarket.

My guess is that they are Libran Fembots and Mercury Retrograde has fuqed with their programming.

36 thoughts on “Astro-Gaga: Who ARE These Chicks?

  1. Clearly they are Twin Gemini Fembots distracted by a spot of gabbing, whilst on a hoarding grocery run prompted by a panic attack over the Icelandic Volcanic Plume hence the hats. They divided and conquered, one went for the beans (Cancer Moon) and the other, well surely one must have clear laundry in the bunker (Virgo Rising) how else is one meant to be civilized through times like these.

    Either that, or this is in my corner store and the cloning has completely gone out of hand. Hey, neighbors…

    • Or…. to stay civilised after they eat all those beans they are going to NEED all of that laundry powder for the skidmarks!

  2. They are alien androids from the planet Stepford analysing our bowel movements and sanitation habits. This is the look they use when psychically connecting to the Mother Shit .. I mean Ship.

  3. Professor Frink accidentally hit the “Go” button on his Libran Fembot Replicator before he had finalised the Domestic Goddess sequencing. As a result, his Bots do not know that Race-wear (for Ascot, darling) is inappropriate for the supermarket. Nor are the Fembots yet programmed to develop a shopping list. The items that fill their trolleys are the ‘default’ setting, until their owners (Single IT Programmers) type in / bluetooth the weekly list. As I write, he is issuing the factory recall…

  4. Mutant alien lifeforms, after sufficient incubation in their amniotic sacs nestled within the breast implants of only the creme de la creme hostesses with the mostess somewhere deep Midwest mass accrete into plastic polymer fullbodymind encasement under the glare of a particluar frequency of fluorescent lighting originally meant to liquidate the alien invasion from south of the border and not above (note the surplus of your whites whiter than white laundry detergent they’d just been stocking up on to keep them lillified). It would be a just-so story, except their BigDaddies like them even better like this.
    Erm, astro-wise, it illustrates the danger of saturn-uranus-pluto face/off sin-ergised straight down to the 9th circle of hades becuase of the weather underground of venus-in-taurus-with-retro-merc-therein-squared-midpoint-by-mars-in-leo situation = plasticised pleistocene patriarchy gone obscene.

  5. I figure they are tins are dog food. They probably own 2 little lap dogs and are concerned for their well-being as they cant get them a place in the bunker! They are not REAL people like them.

    The blonde is an Obsessive clean freak perfectionist (virgo/sag) concerned about the after effects of the tins on her apartment and the Brunette is an animal welfare Aqua.

  6. This is Virgo prime minister Kevin Rudd and Cancerian treasurer Wayne Swan deep in discussion over the upcoming mercury retrograde federal budget and the impact of the Saturn Uranus opposition on fiscal conservatism.

    Wayne is saying how much she prefers microdermabrasion over laser resurfacing as she stocks up on tinned food, matches, batteries and candles.

    Kevin can’t believe how cheap the Fairy Snow is and hasn’t even thought about how she’ll cram it all up her nose.

  7. So hey completely unrelated topics except two chicks involved in MM’s pic … BUT … if you have a dream whereby a girl hits on you and yer snogging and wotnot and heading up to the old .. well ya know. Bed like place. And then in the dream moi says “so how exactly DO women have sex with each other???”. And the answer forthcoming has me skiddadling out of there like Wiley Cayote on rewind, only to run into the arms of a Conan the Barbarian with chest hair type (featured in previous dream sequence .. rings involved. tres weird). Thoughts?

    • oh ps. Girl looked like long time no see aqua friend of mine. Conan like the piscean friend with benefits who died a coupla years ago when house fell on him.

    • Yes, yes, but how did you FEEL about it all.

      I mean it could be perfectly literal. You don’t want to be or aren’t ready to be bisexual, or it could symbolic animus anima shit.

      • I think Conan is Mars coming out of retrograde and the chick is the Harlot Asteroid.

        Who won the last one of these comps btw? Mystic is not posting the winners?

    • Could be that you are “flirting/exploring” boundaries of your feminine sexuality, and the other girl is you juxtaposed as another figure that you can interact with, so when the question is asked, and let’s be realistic, you already surely knew the technically correct stock answer, you ran because the question you actually heard (as opposed to what it actually is) was more along the lines of how can you fulfill simmering desires mixed in with very personal triggers (w/c we all have) about what constitutes what is satisfying and attractive and fulgfilling… ?

      Hence the Conan Alpha Male figure with the rings was the embodiment of who/what would instinctively and naturally bring those feelings to the fore for you.

      I also agree with Uber that there are anima/animus underpinnings to this.. very interesting..hmmm.

      • I cannot even spell “fulfilling” hello… may explain (and I almost wrote expain) my own frustrations..

        Personally, I am instigating a gang bang on my Animus.

    • hmmm *ponders*

      Uber … I felt pretty damn chuffed about my dream Conan. The girl was pretty but didn’t do it for me …

      FireTrine … you know I stubbornly refuse to acknowledge this asteroid business! ;)

      FA … wow. That could be true. I’m currently exploring the idea that I don’t give a rat’s fuqing arse about modern archetypical female imagery and am intensely averse to all things makeup, hair fluffery, even clothes. I’ve even let myself put on weight and quite frankly – I don’t give a CRAP. Am more comfortable in myself than I have been in years worrying about this sort of stuff. And hey I’m a fabulous cook so why not enjoy myself. Also for the first time in EVA am totally content with being single. hmmm *ponders more*

      ps. the ring business was very strange. I had to “fight” with a man in a contest to prove who was more worthy of God! HAHAHA! I lost … but the guy was built like a brick shithouse Viking dude so it was a totally unfair contest. That being said the handing over of the “rings” to the winner was terribly romantic and sensual … shoulda seen the look on his face.

      • oh and last night I had a dream that the moon filled up the whole sky and it was some amazing celestial event that the whole planet was either freaked out by or elevated to some spiritually enlightened status.

        What is it with these whack dreams.

        • Oooh, these dreams are like a diamond mine, Prowln… First things first, I’m totally coming over to your house for some down home cooking!

          Hmm.. the ring contest makes me think of “brass rings”, i.e. deservedness…obviously as you had to fight to prove yourself. And lose as so many things in real life can be skewed to favor men hence the male figure’s obvious advantages. But typically, you fell back on feminine compassion which can appreciate the poignancy and tenderness of the victor’s win even at her own expense.

          I feel the second dream is largely a subconscious affirmation on this exploration, the moon being the feminine and “boundless” – the planet’s reaction is what every woman has encountered when being “full with her gifts and fierce with her reality” – evoking either mass panic OR inviting all to join in the wholeness, the circle of life.

          I don’t think your dreams are whack at all, it certainly beats having a depressing conversation about same said subjects.. I think your subconscious wants to explore these issues sans the interruptions of words, and it prefers to expound on the emotions of what you’ve been going through so you can find a point of real power thru comfort with it.

          Whereas if say, a rant exploring the same thing may fix itself in your mind as a rebelling against the current order, it seems to me your soul is leading you to the “rightness” of accepting yourself and your feminine.

  8. 2 Fembots are shopping, buying in bulk due to a technical glitch in their chips. They are only able to afford one trolley full off stuff.

    Fembot 1 – Libran – you know I have to totally buy the Fairy Now – one to keep the whites whiter and well just because I love the way it’s supposed to feel on my skin. And I know you’re totally into that bean diet but come on Agatha. I’m sure there are more digestible morsels to eat than that – I saw a great asparagus soup that would be just the go for you. Or what about leeks; I hear leek soup is oh so good for losing those last few pounds.

    Fembot 2 – Taurus – I’m like so not going to eat leeks. Beans will fill me up. Besides all that Fairy Now is so not good for the fairies. Full of nasty chemicals. At least if you’re going to blow the budget make it earth friendly. Geez Louise!

  9. plastic or not (hard to tell sometimes) they DO look like two libras running into each other. they will remain that way until one of them gives an off vibe rendering the other the libran victor… and in libra terms that means they have figured out whose hat is jauntier. they coud be there for days.

  10. b1: if we combine my energy drinks with your washing powder, we could totally knock over all that man scunge left by the bachelor himbos who trashed our holiday investment rental.
    b2: yes, and you can also use it as fertilizer for the micro orchid garden. that’s settled.

    c’mon -they’re caps…who else could be looking so superior at helm of cart full of cost-effective , multi-use purchases…

  11. Chick in Gold Hat (Leo-Aqua-Sag?): “I told you a hundred times, my farts DO NOT SMELL, no matter how many beans I eat. You want proof? I’ll give you proof.”

    Chick in White Hat (Libra-Scorp-Virgo?): “Uh huh, sure, whatever you say. Always showing off. Always have to win. You just couldn’t let it go. Well, like the good little Girl Scout I’ve always been, I’ll be prepared should anything not go according to plan.”

  12. a couple of the models from the astro gaga a la fashion spread (dinner table of dullness) a few astro gaga’s back out for a spot of shopping. when not modeling they double as advanced domestic sex dolls – the tinned goods are for their master and the soap powder for cleaning up his mess. again they have no star sign, merely barcodes, but being technologically advanced enough to have hints of feelings, a mere moment of shared despair at their circumstances combined with mercury retrograde have short circuited their wiring mid shop – leading fellow shoppers to believe the display dresser for the supermarket had a night on the bottle, and some 80′s film buffs out for a loaf of bread and carton of milk keeping an eye open for Andrew McCarthy as they round the aisles

  13. It’s an Aquarian social experiment.

    Sticking two manequins in the supermarket appearing to be shopping together with a hidden camera to observe the other shoppers “wtf” expressions. What the experiment is about, only the Aquarian knows!

    Cancer rising for the retro-ness and Virgo or Libra moon to sex it up a bit.

  14. Fembot on the right– Scorpio buying beans to perpetrate gaseous revenge on her oppressive Taurus husband. She’s just been discovered and her nonchalant look is cover play for her story about a Mexican dinner party.

    Fembot on the left — poor dear, late-degree Virgo (see immaculate white hat) whom Saturn is sending in fits to stockpile cleaning product.