An Aries Shops

Filed in Aries

I love this picture of the uber-Aries Victoria Beckham in a supermarket.

It looks as if something has just occurred to her…but what?

* “Oh fuq I hope the carbs in those potatoes aren’t contagious…although don’t Pontiacs have the lowest G.I.?”

* “I’m calling my publicist, why can’t the pope be thin, fashionable and female, for fuqs sake.”

* This supermarket needs to fix its Feng Shui, it’s knocking out my kidney qi…”

* “It’s really hard to do invisible pelvic floor toning work when the music is so naff, shall I ask my bodyguard to get them to change it?”

Oh i don’t know…What do you think???

29 thoughts on “An Aries Shops

  1. Aries don’t need bodyguards, they are body guards. She’s just been asked by the check out girl to make a citizens arrest of the chap next to her who stole a salami and was seen putting it down his pants on CCTV. Although she’s a bit miffed to be asked he’s about to get a quick side kick in the aforementioned salami.

    • lol….

      I also just got the “you are posting too quickly”…WTF, Aries with Mars in Gem on the Asc….Yes, can type one gazillion per min….

      xo to Davey…

  2. my publicist told me if I get snapped in more everyday situations this should take some of the heat about hiring ‘that’ model for my range promo. Bread or Potatoes leon?

  3. ‘What you mean you ain’t got no half dozen pack of extra large goldenballs?’

    ‘What you looking at him for? It ain’t for him, I need em’ for David after that reporter took off with his the other month’

  4. “If an Aries goes shopping and no one is around to see it, did it really happen?” … an astrological conundrum for the full moon.

  5. Complete PR stunt. Posh’s body has been completely redesigned by the same Folks who brought us X-Men. She is in fact gifted with the extraordinary ability of absorbing nutrients from the air, drawing it out from seemingly empty atoms, like an air plant.

    This picture is a concession devised by her agent when the Mothers of America called to complain that Posh wasn’t exactly doing her bit for Body Image and that in fact, muscular stryations . So agent plants her amongst carbs of all things thinking, as long as she’s amidst it, she doesn’t have to eat it and MOA will be satisfied.

    Shades are on to mask rapidly moving irises during processing of nutrient absorption, they return to normal state once the tank is “filled”. Then and only then can she take them off.

  6. she is pointing at something – and mouthing the words to her assistant “You forgot the tampons! they’re in *that* aisle” because heaven forbid she be snapped picking up Posh’s Preferred tampons.

  7. * dat GPS fing dohn work innit. i wuv lookin for da dollchay an gabbana shop liek an insted I ennup in dis playce an issliek bukkinham pallas innit, buh mayd a stuf. Wassicall dat stuf? Yeh, phood innit liek? Inndat rite dayffid? dayffid? Hoo dat bloak?

  8. She’s trying to remember the recipe for baked potatoes. “What are those? Potatoes? What do you do with them? Can children eat them? Will mine? What did they eat the last time I had dinner with them? When was that? Christmas? Cooking for children is too difficult so I’m ordering in.”

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