Astro-Gaga: Coitus Virgo Interruptus

Steven Meisel – Vogue Italia March 2010

You know what? I am not even going to bother making this is a competition because it’s SO obvious and I’ve already won….

Never mind HER sign, the bloke is clearly a Virgo & he’s leapt out of bed in a Virgoan frenzy having sensed that the neighbour is once again letting his poodle piss on the Virgo’s apartment stairs. Or, this could be worse: He suddenly remembered that the doormat across the road was crooked and he’s glaring to see if anyone has straightened it yet.

Of course he could be a Virgo who has called a halt to sexual proceedings after glimpsing a strange stain on that lampshade and he KNOWS it is petty so is just collecting himself, a few deep breaths to deal with the situation and he will be fine.

He is also wearing sandals on her lovely floor so as not to catch some nasty fungal disorder on his feet and she is a Gemini attempting to both look sexy, flatter her boobs AND reach over behind the chaise lounge for her mobile.


37 thoughts on “Astro-Gaga: Coitus Virgo Interruptus

  1. :lol:

    He is lucky to be proceeding in anything remotely sexual wearing that!…. 8O

    Oh and that is hysterical re gemini!! :lol:

    • He is no virgo! We are so earthy; we let it go during sex. I think he’s an Aquarius who suddenly realized that he may be having a speck of emotion so he needs to skedaddle or he just had a ring from a Pleidian friend and needs to scoot.

  2. Oh don’t you just love Italian Vogue? Amazing images. One of my faves is on

      • I dont see red undies ? I see pussy ? The first thing I noticed were his thin white hairless legs…he needs to get in the sun a little more and do some exercise.

      • Absolutely! I thought the photog did it on purpose to do the vag w/o actually showing the vag commentary crap.

      • Honestly, there is no way, even if at this late hour I somehow organically acquired a penis, I would want to go near her. Or him. Or either.

        They both look like overboiled vegetables to me. And my first thought was him opening the door as the drug dealer has finally arrived with the latest order, and unless he snorts the X he simply can’t go on satisfying her.

  3. That leg is taking center stage in my psyche as well… What on earth did hedo to her??

  4. I beg to differ MM. He’s clearly a vampire. At first I thought he was Cancerian (aren’t they all?), but you’re right, the pomade and starched robe are distinctly Virgoan, and notice how he hasn’t left a mess. Recently, he unsuccessfully attempted veganism, and famished, he’s seeking out his next prey. Half an earlier, the woman behind him was a buxom taurean, forty kilos heavier, and she’s now suffering from acute anemia, feeling somewhat light headed and rethinking her crush on Rob Pattinson.

    She isn’t quite meaty enough to constitute a main course, but across the hall, he’s spotted his dessert, avant garde low Gemini, Delia Antwerp Aars, dressed in cat burglar Dolce E Gabbana and trying to pick the lock on the Aries Count’s luxury suite. Lets hope she bites back.

  5. I thought he’d spotted Colin “George” Firth across the hall and suddenly realised his true persuasion…..

  6. I think he’s a low aqua who has got her tied up using some suave excuse that it will be good to flatten her boobs, all the while planning to read her ( a low Leo- I can recognise one anywhere) some vogon like poetry based on his latest theory on mung bean recipes to take into space, and paint her nails some hideous colour that will make her scream. ( apologies for plagerising from one of my fav movies- Bull Durham and fav books Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy)

  7. I miss Delia Antwerp Aaars. This guy is too gay. Maybe he is her manicurist. She is a cunning Pisces attempting to set some “scene” for when the plumber arrives. The manicurist is the Capricorn and she’s just told him that he has jump out the balcony when the plumber arrives so he’s measuring the distance.

  8. He looks totally Scorpio / Leo to me (controlled arrogance). Dark, mysterious, weird sex thing, even a little scary (definitely vampirish) and the hair thing happening. Way too self assured for a Virgo.

    • Yes vee jay agree – his look is scorp, but a leo would love those slippers with gold emblem thingy on them!

    • vee jay Babe, a Scorp would look far more robust than this.. and a Leo would have a bit more of a tan non?

  9. Well one thing’s for sure – she is exhausted and has passed out and didn’t even have time to get undressed, and note leg still up on chest of drawers, it fell off his shoulder when he stood up, (she’s a libran dancer and very limber, maybe the chaise is the “casting couch”??) – whilst he is robed and slippered (so it must be his abode and she the visitor), not a hair out of place, so yes must be a virgo..but also looks slightly worn-out, if still intent (that gaze looks scorpionic!) – note him holding onto the doorway with BOTH hands for support..he’s staggering to the kitchen/bathroom to get some pick-me-ups..he’s not done with her yet!

  10. Totally agree with the Gemini part (and still laughing).

    I’m thinking he’s a Cap who got tired of waiting for call-girl number two to arrive for filthy business-trip threesome and started to work on girl 1. The angry glare is merely the beginning of the end for late-arriving girl number two, who is about to be taught a lesson in punctuality and business ethic. He’s dressed like a grandpa and still looks sexy. That’s Cap all the way!

  11. They both need a feed. Maybe he’s glowering at the Domino’s delivery guy for being late.

  12. Hmm, as a Virgo all those things would bother me – the poodle piss etc. – but not during sex! It’s the one thing that eclipses all those irritating details and properly relaxes me. The Gemini bit is v funny tho. And the Gemini’s bits.

    • Plum I’m with you! There is no way I’d get distracted during sex – It’s all about pleasuring her and relaxing …

  13. “Oh god. The poodle. Again. I will end its rein of terror. Yes, I will.”

    I could see a Scorpio ascendant for that guy, with his glare. He also reminds me very, very much of Sheldon (if anyone’s ever seen the TV show the Big Bang Theory).

  14. The man is a scorpio, in my opinion.
    The woman’s about to climax and he walks away with the victorious expression of ”Remember that thing, on friday 2 weeks ago? I just got my vengeance.”

  15. Oh, sorry for double post, but the dirty side of virgo duality kicks in during sex, so it’s unlikely that this man is a virgo, in my opinion.

  16. I dont know tough what you meant exactly with sandals, but i see he’s wearing slippers . .

    I’ve took notice Virgos been HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE must-have fans of the oldschool-tight-nd-warm-secured-god-forbit-catching-a-cold-type of cut, the ‘granny preach’ to the boot :D