The Scottish Male Virgo Cleaner

Filed in Virgo

The Scottish Male Virgo Cleaner is actually how he advertises himself!  He’s in Edinburgh, if you’re interested;

“…I am an experienced Deep Cleaning Specialist. Being physically strong I do not shy away from moving heavy items of furniture to clean in behind them as being Virgo anything other than perfection grinds on me. If you are moving out of a rental property, moving into a house or just need your place gutted, I’m your man!…”

WHAT a brilliant idea. Do you think he’d travel to Australia on sort of a household perfectionist filth purge tour???

I love that he says perfection actually ‘grinds’ on him.  Also, his ad does not say if this is his house or that of his clients. If it is HIS house, then it absolutely backs up what someone was saying below about Virgoans needing to see Earth in their environment. Is this a classic Virgo environment? Is offering to “gut” your house a bit weird or does having your house gutted mean something different in Scotland?  In Australia, where I live, it means to burn out the entire interior. It’s not generally done on purpose.

He says he doesn’t want time-wasters or prank e-mails – the gent wants to WORK – but who wants to e-mail just to try to tempt some Virgoan cleaning tips out of him??? It’s a Virgo Moonwane on Monday – there will be anxiety about the skirting boards no matter WHAT else is going on. A therapeutic cleaning jag awaits us all once the Full Moon in Leo conjunct Mars has her/his way…

64 thoughts on “The Scottish Male Virgo Cleaner

    • I think there should be one before it too, as “being a Virgo” is a parenthetical clause… which is to say it is an aside and could otherwise be punctuated with parentheses or even dashes on either side. As an editor I’ve had to make many unwelcome ‘corrections’, but I’m not sure I’d be game to tell him he’s made an error if he can lift furniture with one hand while vacuuming with the other.

      Reckon he’ll come out if we do a bulk booking – we could plan a tour for him.

      • I’d like to watch that..the vacuuming whilst lifting furniture with one hand (even though he’d have to be gay)…count me in too

    • Just to clarify the word ‘gut’ or ‘gutting’ is a common phrase used in Scotland to describe giving a place a thorough clean, or to start from scratch taking everything out and starting over. No weird double meaning there.

  1. I nominate Uber Virgo…to apply corrective action. I’m sure she has the guts, whether she has the interest? Meh.

    Virgo Dad is still playing with his idea of retirement. He keeps discussing with his Virgo house cleaner…joining forces to create some Supreme Cleaning business.

    • Lord no, I’m Virgoed out and correcting a Virgo, as you’ve all astutely discerned, is a dicey business. The backlash is insufferable and then you’d have to live with a Virgo self flagellation on your conscience.

      But hell, he’s welcome to scrub my skirting boards. I’d hire him.

  2. He better be hot. But if he was he would have a photo up wouldn’t he? or am I just being shallow. imagaine he may be a bit of a ponce ( for this messy Leo gal) so no not in my little flat thx.

  3. I think I’m in love.

    And if I wasn’t travelling for work and getting my daily Mystic fix off my iPhone… I’d be contacting this honey STAT.

  4. he can come gut my place anytime – I am one of these aspirational tidy virgos. you know, the ones who constantly see mess and imperfection where others only see comforting evidence of a life well lived.

    I recognise and embrace the merits of the latter, but still I long for surfaces and discreet storage solutions.

    Perhaps my Taurus Moon going for comfort over Virgoan clinical surfaces?

    • Do you remember a couple of years back when there was a local production of Macbeth, and the lead wore a leather kilt?

  5. punctuation aside, i desperately NEED my house “gutted”. I often feel the urge to just take to the place with a bulldozer, but the virgo cleaner approach might be more economical. he is welcome here any time (after giving me plenty of notice, so i can hide all my really precious old things that look like rubbish)

  6. Please tell me Melissa is right and he is indeed gay – I do have dual citizenship you know… and rather fond of Scotland…

    • Lexi a (yet to come out) fashion designer neighbour uses boy-boy clean team who

      1. come & assess your property
      2. quote on THEIR version of initial clean (to their standards)
      3. present cleaning contract – they’re determination of your future living vs their requirements re retaining ‘clean’ standards

      obviously am too scared to enter such an arrangement……

      • That’s fabulous!! but I fear you’re right – they’d out Virgo me and I would just feel like I was a burden.
        PLUS Capricorn Sun has tight-arse issues with indulgent spending + fear of personal inadequacy, so hiring cleaners is unlikely…

        • so you reckon a Taurus, Capricorn moon and Virgo rising guy i’m getting to know would be a major tight-arse? What a combo – so earthy!! He might need some water (me) to create mud! :)

          • Hey, is this the one you chatted with on MSN until 3am, robot? Virgo rising?! Setting off your Mars or what?

          • RoboScorp – so perfect – pursue. The materialist-indulgence of Taurus (plus super generous with gifts to lovers…) would be sensibly tempered by the Cap moon, and always tasteful thanks to Virgo rising. Not a worry at all – enjoy!

          • UPV, yes it is the same guy. We met up last night for drinks and a movie. Saw The Road. LOVED the movie. Viggo was great, stunning cinematography, beautifully art directed and great music (Nick Cave).

            Unfortunately the chemistry with the Toro didn’t translate in reality. On paper we had perfect astro. *sigh* Shame, he was so nice and i could have done with a pash. Throughout the movie i kept asking myself “could I?” but when you’ve known knee-trembling, earth shattering chemistry, you KNOW there is no need to ask yourself. I remember five years ago i had dinner with another Toro and the chemistry was so intense i couldn’t even eat. And i knew the moment i saw him that we’d end up in bed. They say you know in 3 secs flat. So true!

            Oh well…

          • Ah, shame about that robot. I know what you mean about the looking good on paper thingy AND the knee-trembling, earth-shattering chemistry…sigh… You are SO right, you either know and got it, or it ain’t there. At least you gave it a go. So off to find another potential playmate then? Or just gonna wait for Pluto man? As long as you enjoy yourself in the process. :)

          • i think i’ll just wait for Pluto man. *sigh* Giving the online thing a miss – i hate it, i hate it, i hate it… it’s so unnatural. All the guys seriously looking for a relationship are too old, fat, ugly and bald and the cute young ones are major sleaze bags. There is no middle ground. Actually, i met Mr middle ground last night and no was no chemistry. So there you go.

            Oh well, it was a nice little distraction.

          • ~too old, fat, ugly and bald~

            Maybe if you narrowed it down to just a few compromizes Scorpy?

            I’d say fat and bald perhaps?

            Fattie can go on a diet and baldie can get a wig?

            No hope for ugly…


            No, you’re just warmin’ up is all and there’s always a few froggish ones in the mix, eh?

          • Hahaha… fatties are a major turn off for me. I like skinny guys.
            There is no compromising when one has Venus in Libra and Mars in Virgo – so fussy. The slightest thing can turn me off – like their teeth or the shape of their mouth. *sigh* it’s annoying i know.

            5 seems like the average number of guys one has to date to get to someone decent, which isn’t too bad if you actually like dating. My idea of dating was going to the bar and picking up the hottest guy in the room. Not really interested in doing that anymore though.

            So back to being Miss Havisham for me.

  7. I’ve mentioned to him that he is on here – and pointed him in the direction of the commas comments – well told him to ignore them anyway.

  8. Hmm, Virgo male… so does he turn into a complete slob and go into a filth binge when he takes holidays before flipping out and shrieking, “What’s become of me???” when the holiday is due to be over???

  9. I want one! A virgo cleaner that is.

    He can come and give my cage a ‘Specialist Deep Clean’ anytime he likes.

    Put me down for the tour…

  10. wow, hes only a 45 minute train ride from my house but he sounds like the kind of cleaner that you’d give your house a scrub before he arrived and feel totally shambolic and grimy in his presence. 15 quid an hour though. cheap and deep. to gut something in scotland does mean like a ruthless shedding of crap. good for him! i love this kind of recession-fuelled- self promotion one man band type upstart. its great to think of trading labour for cash in really simple terms like this and he’s totally obviously identified his area of pure expertise. i am v. inspired!!

  11. I’m a Virgo, and i don’t like the tree photo in that picture — I think it looks tacky. And I don’t like the idea of sitting down on plastic chairs for dinner either. But I do like the floorboards.

  12. I need to add an addendum ‘cos really rather ironic having read this post last night… Doing a favour for a friend this morning saw me traipsing through chic inner suburban streets with piles of junk, which eventually got down to just a mop, broom and bucket. Had to stop for coffee and embarrassingly knocked the mop and broom all over the guy I sorta kinda sometimes flirt with, at adjacent table… He says “you always get around with your mop and bucket…?” I say: “I’m a Virgo – you never know when you might find something that needs a good cleaning…” he “of course, I should have guessed…” cue – casual flirty small talk…

    • Neighbor of my ex Cancerian, Virgo Moon husband and I once told me that the first time she ever saw him he had his pants rolled up and was holding a mop.

      Sometimes I think he swept me right out of his life….No, actually that was our cat which he would chase with the broom.

    • Absolutely – and so preferable to that crazy zombies-of-boyfriends-past version from earlier in the week. Bring on the light-and-cheesy!

          • Thank you, I thought it was a valid ’rounding up’. Isn’t that what Ascendants are for anyway? So we can pick and choose depending on the situation…? Oh, hang on, that sounds kinda Cap again, doesn’t it?

  13. I can’t even anything because you guys are just making me laugh. Shall I tell the Virgo Cleaner about this? I have V Rising and I think he’d appreciate the clean up! I have a theory Virgos really LOVE appreciation but are too polite, and well mannered to ask for it.

    Ladies? Gents?

  14. Pingback: Fired For Being A Virgo - Mystic Medusa

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