Astro-Gaga: Freaked Virgo On Hols?

Filed in Astro Gaga

model couple in rustic bedroom Right.  At first I thought, this being a luxe bag-ad, that they were both gazing at the bag. Then I thought that maybe they’d just had a massive rowl and it had to do with something IN the bag. She looks like she’d maybe be fine if he took off but heaven-help anyone who gets between her and that bag. This fits because the bag is supposed to be madly desirable object of extreme must-havery nympho accessory lust. I get that.

But then i realised that obviously SHE IS A VIRGO. And they are on holidays. She is a Virgo who is totally freaking out. WHAT is she staring at? A crack on a tile? A crumb on the bed? A picture that has been hung so that it tilts a millimetre to the left? The mole on the chin of the person who showed them into their room? His tawdry luggage? The synthetic quilt that she has just flung off the bed in disgust? It could be anything.

And what sign is HE? Her lusty Gemini gardener? Spunky Sagg about to make an athletic exit through that window? Or is he ANOTHER Virgo? So they are Virgoans holidaying together in Tuscany and he’s only just told her that his biro leaked all over the lining of that bag.  She’s totally sulking and he seems to be thinking, although it’s hard to tell with models.

Image: Bottega Veneta

62 thoughts on “Astro-Gaga: Freaked Virgo On Hols?

  1. Maybe there was no soap on the pillows when they arrived & HE forgot to pack her toiletries bag before he whisked her away. HE would have to be Gemini gardener & thinking… ‘fuq the soap’.

  2. Looks like my Virgo rising, Gemini Sun daughter and her Pisces husband after she has scolded him.

    He’s thinking, “geesh, all I did was try to carry the damn bag so we could get going and she’s now guarding it like a lioness”.

    He knows he not dare touch that bag again as she’s ready to pounce…

    Being a newlywed, he’s also wondering if peeps get divorced over this type of thing. May be an expensive bag but Pisces now thinking “what a piece of crap”…

  3. SHE: definitely glaring at something that is not up to scratch. is physically repulsed by whatever it is. and diva-style cold shoulder to the unfortunate companion whom she is either blaming for it or demanding he fix it.

    HE: some hapless chump who is obviously on first trip with his beloved. trying to come to grips with this turn of events. possibly thinking “i wonder if i can make it past her and get to the door to make my escape – alive”

    maybe he’s a pisces and loved the romantic decayed paint effect of the room, and she just thinks it looks old and in need of repainting

    • Ha,ha, with those walls, she’s wishing her bag had some cleanser and a sponge….

      Big bags of dope in the bag and he’s concerned about if the drug deal is going to go down as planned and she’s nervously (in Virgo OCD type fashion as my daughter would be..lol), watching the door and listening for the drug dealer peeps. Both are concerned if they’re going to come out alive…

    • Hahahaha, she’s obviously about to rail on him for yet another flaw in his character: not possessing the standards to so so much as notice the [insert whatever is it here] that has her so disgusted… I dare say he knows it’s coming too…

  4. If she’s a virgo, he’s probably a taurus, he has that dark earthy look. He’s either trying to decide whether he should jump her bones, or else he’s thinking “I wonder if she’s got a sandwich in that bag?”

    • oh god. taurus. yes. forget pisces or gemini…toro is the other dual persona – shag ? or eat? eat or shag? shag then eat? eat then shag? oh the dilemma…

      my theory is she just told him how much the bag cost… or he is ahapless pisces who uttered something seemingly innocent but she took it TOTALLY the wrong way and now they’re Fighting. igh. :(

      • If he is toro… he is totally thinking about the sandwich.
        If he was thinking about the other, he would be on the bed for a start…

        • that’s true. why waste time thinking when you can just do it :) don’t get me wrong i generally like toros

  5. Why is he in jeans and jacket and she in a skimpy singlet?
    What is the real temperature in the room?

    • so then maybe she’s glaring at the control panel for the air con, and they’re in a power struggle over what extreme of artificially maintained temperature to have the room at to indulge their respective fashion whim of the day

      • Haaaaaaaaaa! Crack up.

        But it also sounds like me and my Sagg boyfriend… He’s always sweating and complaining the heat/ humidity/ global warming is unbearable and we MUST put a fan or air con on. I’m always cold and packing a jacket/ throw rug/ thermos of hellfire and demanding said fan or air con be switched off to save electricity. Then hypocritically turn a heater on :)

        • ha. so he says “this global warming is killing me, hurry up and put on the air con and burn more coal so i can feel comfortable”?

          i can’t point fingers at you SP – i have a heater on in winter cos the air has to be warm but i also have the ceiling fan on cos i hate the air getting stuffy

  6. Could be a Leo and sulking that the bag is the center of her universe and not him?

    Or perhaps a Scorpio trying to death-stare-psyche-out the bag whilst plotting how it just might have an unfortunate accident some time in the near future?

  7. He found out that the resort offers yoga but not pilates, and he knows that’s a really big deal for her.

    So he bought her that bag for when he told her there’s no pilates. But she’s like: “how can I be excited about a bag when my exercise regime – and life – is now ruined? You’re so insensitive”.

    They’ll both end up sleeping with the help – a cleaner/massueuse called Raoul.

    • ha,ha….I remember a time when me and the Pisces checked into this hotel in Vegas and it did not have a tub. He was actually ticked about it cuz I was real into baths…It was nice that he cared and so how could I be mad.

      Neither of us slept with the help :)

  8. The ex was like that on holidays fussing over the way something sat or the functionality of it to actually relax or even really notice his surroundings. He’d fiddle with it THEN he would get into a slight holiday groove.

  9. Is the bag really some kind of freudian thing? cos it’s weird and synchronicitous I just went for a walk and saw a woman whose bag reminded me of a huge vagina. I didn’t want to look at it but couldn’t help but stare. It had faux crocodile folds around a softer smoother vessica piscus shape – the symbol of the goddess. It had nasty cheap fastenings and all I could think was chastity belt. I rushed in front of her at the crossing so I wouldn’t have to look at it anymore. It made me clench down there.

  10. Can’t be that the biro leaked in the bag, otherwise there is no WAY the bag would be allowed on the beautiful sheets still!

    Do agree with above that he looks a little like the lovely Pisces male who’s done all he can to make everything perfect and STILL she’s shitty :)

  11. she is Virgo with a lot of Sagg, (no bra and bohemian navel length pendant), who wanted to go to romantic Tuscany to escape their overly urban lifestyle and has been looking forward to this for ages.

    He is taurus who wanted to stay at home these holidays with no interest in foreign cultures or moving around in general as he is missing his kitchen/ amazing bedding creature comforts feigning concern over her hissy fit thinking about how much nicer his room is.

    She has only just realized how his lack of interest in travel repulses her and is viibing him out over the bag she has refused to unpack after row.

  12. I think simply they’re thinking… it just doesn’t quite *go* with the rest of their holiday design, but they love it so…

  13. He: Gemini – nerdish but quite cute.
    She: Sagittarian – judging by her relaxed attire – a Virgo would never dress that sloppily!!

    They had a travel bag full of cocaine but it got accidentally switched at the airport so now they’re drug-less and miserable… and thinking about the lucky fuqqer who scored their bag. And it’s clearly all his fault with that look on his face.

    She will forgive him eventually, ’cause Saggos rarely bear grudges.

  14. Designer or no that ugly purse is the emotional luggage that made it’s presence felt as soon as the in flight martinis wore off. This couple have never travelled together before and the honeymoon is over before the sheets have had a chance to be stained. She is a virgo, with yes – a healthy dose of sagg which could account for her intense need for a bit of SPACE right now. WHY can’t he just fuqing get it and stop making her feel GUILTY with that soppy hang dog routine!!

  15. … “he seems to be thinking, although it’s hard to tell with models.”

    Mystic I think I love you. This made me laugh so much. Love your analysis everyone!!!

    • I noticed that one too tati. Good one Mystic.

      He’s now wondering if he should have a thought, but not realizing he’s having one…lol

  16. He’s a virgo and he looks distraught over what may be on the sheets his dear partner virgo is laying on. She’s staring in disgust at dust in the corner and how it will affect her lovely white ensemble.

  17. They are (definitely virgo) animatronic figures in a massive art installation called “the not-so-secret cliched dreams of Americans.” The three key elements are indeed – Tuscan setting, sullen models & one important luxe object.
    (The next room has a French pastry chef, 1,000 Laduree macarons and Karl Lagerfeld.)

      • Our culture is high-lighted here alot but would be nice to not lump us all together, thanks.

        • If it is just an art thing about the cliche of the American dream then do get what you mean though so no offense really. Just that I have my own dreams and they aren’t quite so shallow. The whole “American” thing has rubbed me the wrong way a few times here and I didn’t say anything. I would certainly hope the Aussie’s here were more broad minded as I have not judged your culture.

        • Yes. Americans I know do not resemble the generic characters portrayed in hype run by the media or in tv programs. When I was in America, I found people to be genuine, original thinkers, and more than into sculpting a life that worked for them. Didn’t meet any cliches.

          Gotta remember that just because the media and advertising and big business promotes something, doesn’t mean ordinary people are buying the “dream”. Not all of them anyway. And the ones that do buy into it are found in Oz as well.

          • Total joke, folks. I’m a born & bred American myself, so I reserve the right to poke fun at my own culture’s stereotyped obsessions.

            Although I personally wouldn’t say no to a trip to Tuscany & 1,000 macarons, my fantasies lean more towards an artist’s tour up the Hudson river or a visit to traditional potters’ workshops in Japan.

          • Dear unpredictable,
            I was just reading in Kate Williamson’s book, “A Year in Japan,” that cracks in ancient Japanese pottery are often repaired with silver or gold, creating metallic veins that transform the beauty of the pieces into something new. Isn’t that wonderful? They keep evolving…

          • Awww, no worries Sweetpea – it’s a very good thing if people say “ouch” when they feel it. :)

        • the “American Dream” has pretty much come to be a watchword for the “capitalist dream” everywhere – plenty of non-Americans seem to want it and loads of Americans I’ve met want a more holistic, integrated, socially responsible life! it should be identified for what it is … not just American … and for most people, only a dream and not a reality (and not a very nice dream either, v selfish – that’s why the girl model is staring lustfully at a leather bag instead of the pretty live boy in the room and the boy is … trying to have a thought)

    • Lol Odette. And the next room again has an original Andy Warhol macrame by Martha Stewart.

  18. Apropos of Virgos … one of my favourite gave me a cleaning tip yesterday. To ‘ensure’ that the cleaner vacuums her workstation thoroughly, she tips out her hole punch on the floor, scattering right into the corners.

    • ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GENIUS thank you..our cleaners are a bit slack…short of phoning their boss to complain, that is one good option!!

  19. I don’t think a virgo would be sitting around doing nothing. Or sulking. Or wearing no bra. A virgo would be taking action or at least giving a detailed lecture on how to avoid this kind of thing in future. Definitely doing something to fix the situation.

    I think she is a young Leo model who doesn’t know how to deal with his attention not being on her. Nonplussed..

  20. Sooooo…..looking out of the corner of her eye saying “don’t put your filthy paws on my lovely, be-yoytch.”
    We were lovers until you offered to carry it up the stairs in one hand, while drinking a sticky, meltym slurpy in the other hand…..

  21. Of course she’s Virgo and of course she’s pissed. She just bought the Botega Genie bag, with the promise that if she rubs it and covets it enough, *poof* the man of her dreams will appear. Well she tried that and all she got was a moping Cancerian in a bad baseball jacket. She’s wondering if she can get a refund on both.

  22. She is a Leo. He is a Pisces. He has lied to her about his dick size and that there is a hairdresser at the chateau he booked them into. She is wishing he would go take a shower so that she can text her friends/ex/hot waiter downstairs. He is wondering how soon it is before they can go and get totally hammered.

  23. They may both be Virgos but he’s a Taurus Rising so he bought her an imitation Gaucho on the ebay and is hoping she won’t spot the faux. Her eagle eye has of course already caught the flaws in the stitching and the typo in the authenticity papers. She has gone silent with a nausea of rage and disappointment. He’s wondering how he could have been so naive.

  24. serious astrologer virgo resentment she needs to deal with… pick a moon, any moon…