Which Sign Is Most Likely To Consult A Sex Manual?

Seventies Sex Manuals

Sometime in the early Eighties, my parents were really appalled to be lent a copy of this book by some friends of theirs who said it had done something incredible to their sex lives. My father – Anglican, Aquarius – went ballistic at the familiarity. So they put it someplace & never looked at it.

Then some relations of mine (schoolboys) turned up to stay for a week, from boarding school. They had THEIR copy of this book only it had been passed around the dormitory for a year and was suitably grubby, dog-eared, scuffed, scribbled in and worse. I went and got the OTHER copy of the book to compare, for some reason.

Then, when the friends who’d lent their pristine copy to my parents returned, my mother handed it back with an apologetic Anglican smirk, explaining that they had not even had time to LOOK at it. Only it was not at all convincing because somehow the books had gotten mixed up.

The boys went back to school with a clean copy of The Joy Of Sex and my mother had to hand back the tatty copy that had some of the pages stuck together and smutty diagrams scribbled all over the place.

ANYWAY, that’s the only one i’ve ever read and the illustrations freaked me out totally, the guy in particular.

Someone must be buying these things…Which sign IS most likely to read sex manuals? I have Mercury in Aries so i don’t read manuals for anything, not even dishwashers.

Oh, have just remembered – i read the Kama Sutra – front to back. All I remember is something called Congress of the Goat and that only concubines talk to Elephant Drivers.

Note also that sex manuals big in the 70s, when Pluto was in Libra and Uranus either in Libra or Scorpio.

 

 

94 thoughts on “Which Sign Is Most Likely To Consult A Sex Manual?

  1. Errrgh

    My dad had this – was the mid-eighties. I remember wondering how anybody could let a guy with such a gross beard anywhere near them – and also, the whole thing just looked like too much work to my pre-teen sensibilities. God knows who reads them People who need to? People with no imagination? People who like their porn to be informative? People like my dad (ok I need to stop there because my thoughts are disturbing me)

    • yes!! or leo men for that extra bit of competitive edge the -something I know -on over other guys that will make them irresistible and more experienced

      I find leo women just expect you should know what you are doing anyway.

  2. I love sex manuals! I collect them for both personal and professional reasons. You name it, I’ve probably read it and/or have a copy on my book shelf. :)

    For the record, I’ve got: Libra Sun, Virgo Moon, Aquarius rising, Mercury Libra… and Venus and Mars in Scorpio. And yes, I’m a child of the 70s, with Uranus in Scorpio and Pluto in Libra.

    • Eeeeuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwww, this guy is no better than his predecessor… He looks really limp and creepy, like the sort of guy who refers to himself as a ‘snag’ and knows way too much about weird alternate reality type games. I resent he is in photo form, at least 70’s creepy satyr man had the good taste to remain hand drawn!

      • I like how the woman on the new cover seems to be trying to pull away from him…while sort of bracing herself to hold the kiss. Can’t say I blame her though.

    • “The book has 43 new sections including two on the clitoris – an expansion from the three sentences mentioning the clitoris in the 1972 edition.”

      oh good that has sorted that out then!

      actually, beards are quite fashionable again with young men. Having been phobic of beards in my younger days (my dad had a beard), I now actually prefer men with beards.

      Once you have loved men with well kept soft facial hair, you might find it nice?! better than sandpaper any day. I am a firm believer in either shaving once (or twice) a day or not at all – stubble hurts!

      I have also just started a romance with a particularly hairy man – and am incredibly surprised at how lovely it feels – men’s body hair gets a lot of bad press, and I had never thought that it would feel nice, but surprise surprise, bit like cuddlling a teddy bear!

  3. Libras might consult manuals, but only if they evoke things beautiful, poetic or somehow connected to their ideals.

    My childhood self was utterly appalled by the 70s version of The Joy of Sex. This was what all the fuss was about? It looked like hairy animals going to the bathroom on each other! (Horribly depressing.) My parents’ hidden pornographic fine art books were more appealing. Eventually my budding feminist self tracked down a copy of “Our Bodies Ourselves” and got a nice dose of sex ed mixed with confidence-boosting, take-ownership-of-your-own-body affirmations & accurate information).

  4. well this piscean has read her share of the manuals as well as a few of Nancy Friday’s books in an extensive collection of S&M, fetish, and sex-positive books. Uranus in Scorpio i think says it all. though 2 Leo BF’s have ruined them for me – i hide ones with illustrations now. eewww…

  5. I *guess* some people needem… mebbe teenage boys or something: maybe that’s the real audience… Maybe it’s early marketing genius – something taboo that all the kids will want. Frankly, a good bottle of red and two consentive open minds are liable to come up with anything AND better than any book ever foretole. Is my humble opinion. I just typo’d HUMPle. Helloooo from Japan, everyone!

      • the food IS tremendous! Thanks! I’m having fun. I have the keys to four empty furnished apartments on top floor in Otsu, near Osaka. So if anyone feels like doing Yule in Winter… there are cheap flights from OZ on deathstar if you’re game :)

        Meanwhile back to staking out the foyer, there are some HOT african american basketballers living a couple floors down who play for the local pro team. Hmmm….

  6. I remember being fascinated at a very (VERY) young child by this book. Seeing as I lived in a very hippy area, with lots of group title living arrangements (read communes) this was a very popular book!

    I always associate these books with those terribly earnest men in sandles and socks and long stringy hair……

    • “……..terribly earnest men in sandles and socks and long stringy hair”

      Ewwwwwwwwwww. They don’t need a sex manual they need a stylist!

    • I remember when this book first came out. I think I was in my late 10’s, very early teens. I remember looking at the cover and thinking ‘won’t waste my time reading that, know it already!’. And I was still very much virginal. The arrogance of youth!

    • “terribly earnest men in sandles and socks and long stringy hair……
      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOVE IT :)

    • stinking of patchouli…Eeerrgghhhh sorry all the smelly hippies at uni ruined patchouli for me

  7. I dunno who reads these books but Saggitarians should. Someone needs to tell them sex isn’t a race where the first one to come wins.

    And if so many people have read this thing how come so many people are duds? I mean it’s hardly rocket science.

    • :lol:

      yeah I’ve been “Sagged” … haha, though I have to admit they’re very generous lovers and certainly have ahhhhh … stamina.

      • hmph! not all of us are speed racers :) though i admit the sagg men i’ve ‘known’ (and i do have a predisposition towards them, gorgeous hunks that they are) often do need to be reminded about the notion of sensuality in sexuality :) but i love the enthusiasm! two saggis in the sack GO OFF.

        so ive heard. LOL.

        • ps i never read instructions for anything, just like mystic, above. cant be arsed. ive always been the type to learn from doing. ahem.

        • heh, heh. I was just having a naughty dig at Saggos. Truly, my loveliest of all lovers was a darling Sagg. But some of the worst were Saggos too. The worst are the good looking ones who have legions of hopefuls waiting to be chosen and are above making an effort to please their partner. The best are usually slightly desperate and grateful as hell.

          • uber, this is so true. the playboy saggi men can be a big yawn. they become lazy lovers. but if you manage to get hold (!) of one of those who are eager as well as energetic (which maybe you have as you mention…?) then there is no end to the fun. and if theres one thing saggis are, its fun :D

            no brooding intensity and full on serious tragedy here. its playful, lots of energy, and pretty much ready to go any time, any where. outdoors (preferably somewhere wild and isolated) is the best aphrodisiac.

            but ive already said too much ;)

          • Definitely. Had a Sagg lover once upon a time (his bday yesterday), and it was the hottest, wildest 3 months of my life. We couldn’t go anywhere without doing it, and we were living in a trad Muslim country at the time. Even did it metres from the locals on boats without them knowing (I hope). Very eager to please.
            Am looking for another….

    • Uber Virgo, I don’t know about Saggs (never dated one) but one reason a lot of people may be “duds” in bed is that many people are a bit dissociated from their bodies. You can see it in the way they move – sort of like their bodies are bowling shoes that don’t feel quite right but were the only pair left. (By way of contrast, take a look at how a trained dancer moves in his/her regular life – dancers are trained to be fully “present” in & aware of their bodies, & it shows.)
      I also wonder if a lot of people who are not really that sexually compatible continue their relationships out of loneliness, laziness or convenience. Maybe there are just a lot of lovers who are really not excited to be together but are making do – that would probably dampen the impulse to be creative or generous in bed.

      On a different note, that was one funny post, Mystic!

      • I also think/know that the contraceptive pill puts a real dampener on sex. It almost prevents you from enjoying sex (not entirely but it definitely tones the pleasure down) – which you have to wonder is maybe part of its effectiveness – where as being off the pill, makes sex a breeze. This also relates to “being” in the body, as personally being off the pill I feel much more comfortable in my own skin.

        I give my vote to virgo as well…

        • It definitely does….if we are defined by the hormone mix in our bodies, a female on the pill is nearly another type of human.

          • i am so anti-the pill its not funny. i mean, great great its a contraceptive miracle, yeah i know. but it fuqs so much with the authenticity of pheromones that it stuffs up the true chemical attraction to someone. and i have a theory that it creates a population of women (not all, but alot who are on esp. the heavier doses) who walk around like they’re kinda constantly pms’-ing, and they think thats just how they are ‘normally’.

            The Pill, for alot of women i know, me included, masks connection to their true self, sexually and in general.
            so not a fan!!

          • OMG, I never heard a guy say that b4… Though I agree in some weird way. How shocking you are davidl.

            And ditto what you said Saggigal – I knew we had something in common when you told me we did!

        • yep the pill definitely messes with libido. but hey so does GETTING PREGNANT

          • Its not just libido thats affected, but have to agree, unplanned pregnancy can def put a spanner in the cogs of love.

          • Hahahahahha. My next is due Jan 15 – 18 months on from the last one due in part to my dislike of the pill – whups!

            Got to say I am a different human animal due to the hormonal tidal wave right now. Kind of like that country that is a collection of atolls that is about to go under due to global warming… (happy nonetheless!).

          • all my three were originally ‘mistakes’, its all worked out fine..good luck with that new little cap.

      • So true, Odette. I also blame Hollywood films with their abbreviated male-centric sex scenes, and porn, for misrepresenting sex. White mallow, have you heard of nfm — natural fertility management — an alternative form of contraception that puts women in touch with their cycle and fertile times? It’s side effect free. (The catch is that it requires effort)

        • Infact I have – I love that it includes your own moon cycle, I am teaching myself (with the help of a book by some lovely Australian Naturopaths) but my cycle hasn’t completely settled down yet – at least I have a cycle though, some women when they come off the pill seem to be infertile for sometimes years after. which is very distressing. between the pill & male sperm getting poorer in quality & numbers every year, the human race may not blow themselves up but rather through infertility die out.

    • imagine if we ALL read this book. How BORING would sex be then!!
      I like it to be different and creative each time. oops, too much information!

  8. Have a copy of ‘Sexual secrets, The Alchemy of Ecstacy’ Douglas/Slinger. Fab book, great instruction, good illustrations, a history of tantra..anyone, however much they think they know can learn from this book. I did :)

      • this won’t be work Ubee , ohh noooo….you’ll see, it’s all web based, To apply, send msn address …(you must have webcam facilities to complete the course).
        It can also be linked to the 12 steps program, if addiction is the problem , well?

    • David, now you are both ready for ‘The Art of Sexual Magic’,by Margot Anand, it’s like being given 120 Derwent Colours instead of 72 given by the ‘Alchemy’.
      Penny Slinger is a Goddess & brill artist looking at her website.
      What a life style they have, Hawaai i believe?

      ‘SEX’? I didn’t invent it but am perfecting it……….

  9. Mmm, yes remember my mum havin this one. I loved the book ‘Urge” by Gabrielle Morrissey. no pics just lots of food for thought and does anyone remember Australian Womens Forum? A great publication that sadly got binned due to censorship issues.

  10. hilarious anecdote Mystic!!

    reminded me of grandfather’s study – drooling over history, art, design & photography tomes, when one day, per chance, a second row of books emerged, concealed behind an initial line of spines. row. Among those secreted was ‘The Joy of Sex’ which at first glance was a horror story… an illustration of what appeared to be a hairy cracked walnut was ugly & repulsive. few pages later the scrawny blokes illustrated oking all kinds of stuff in the hairy walnut. made the prospect of male female relations far from desirable…… which given how young we were, was the right thing.

    imagine if such naivity prevailed among kids / tweens today?

    • ‘The Joy of Sex’ was passed around and pawed (not pored) over by my grade six Catholic school classmates. You’re right, the hairy walnut was terrifying and the bearded dude’s acts in relation to it were even more so.

      As far as deterrents go, the best ever was a STI seminar given by a nurse from the local STI clinic, including slides. That program should tour schools.

      • Ubers I swear to freakin god the hairy cracked walnut with the skinny hairy dude poking stuff in said cracked hairy walnut kept we girls….well as nice as one could…. for a while

        being convent girls there be NO such think as STI talk / slideshow thingo…….. cos there was no sex of course. ask grandfather. & he was headmaster…………..arghhhhh imagine!!

          • Gosh, our convent school gave us a talk during our final week of Year 12, which included comments like “if you’re on the pill, why bother using condoms”, promoted family planning methods (I know of at least 4 girls in my immediate circle who subsequently fell pregnant using this one), and perhaps the worst of all – they had a nurse show us the speculum for getting your pap smear… only the one she showed us was HUGE. To quote Nat – bleuuurrrk!! There were girls who didn’t get smear tests for til their 30s cos they were so terrified of this massive duck bill!! I recall my first one and being shocked at how much smaller they were than the one we were shown. Terrible!
            And I’m talking 1993 here – it was NOT that long ago!

          • LMFAO OMG TRY NOWADAYS!
            in year 7 we had to watch 5 Sexual education videos
            Last year we put a condom over a banana dildo! and then just last week we had an alcohol/sex workshop where we had to try many things whilst wearing BEER GOGGLES!

            anyone of these by itself is enough to send a class full of pubecent teenagers nuts! Yet they continue with more antics ect
            OMG IM SCARED OF NEXT YEAR! bloody hell what will they think of next?

  11. Joy of Sex Joke 1#: This guy was hitting on me in a bar. After too many beers he admitted “I’ve got no job, no money, no car and I can’t get an erection.” I said “Have you got a tongue?”

  12. Joy of Sex Joke 2#:My boyfriend told me I have a BIG attitude problem. I told him he’s going to have a BIG fertility problem …. soon

  13. Seems like a very Virgoan thing to do. Getting the facts right beforehand and studying all the diagrams…

  14. I don’t read any manuals I just like to feel my way through things….

    Omg so this would have been acceptable porn in the 70’s!!….My parents were probably reading this filth under the alias of Sex Manuals!… I feel queasy….

    Gem sun, moon & venus ….. I have Libra in Pluto & Uranus in Scorpio, oh what a coincidence….

  15. Actually Myst, when I look again at that cover, I realise that you must have the 1978 ABBA edition…..huge seller

    • David, are you stoned?
      I have MOON IN LIBRA.
      Of course i would not have any book with people such as those featured.
      It is an anecdote from my past – hence the historically appropriate cover glomped off the net.
      Am amazed nobody is dissing the Kama Sutra.
      For years I thought that the Richard Burton who translated it was the same guy married to Elizabeth Taylor etc.

      • Okay, I’ll diss the kama sutra…Primitive, patriarchal, male centric penetration manual…zzzzzzzzzzzzz

        Richard Burton was a TOTALLY fascinating character though – a Piscean, who achieved fluency in 30 languages and travelled to Mecca disguised as an Armenian physician before converting to Sufism. Translated the Arabian Nights. The film about his search for the source of the Nile, ‘Mountains of the Moon’ is one of my all time faves. His wife Isabel was also amazing, and Piscean too.

      • yes.how did you guess ?…now, if thats not Frida and Benny ? yep, have read bits of the Burton KS, too much scratching for my liking, its like, ouch ! wtf did you have to scratch me for.!!.

      • the K.S is commonly rocked by psuedo intellectuals (soz davey not you) whom have major dick / personal pussy issues which inspire HOURS of ‘ooooooooooohhhhhh…ahhh’ protracted so called sexy stuff that’s often – LOADED with lack of meaning (the opp of K.S intent).

        Those who poise & poise for hours without (ahem)….. reaching the next level or something……. really bore the teets of moi. truely. *deep eye stare, then settle in for another pose for 3 hours for nil result* – oh for fugs yes I can put my ankle near ear. for a long time. but for yoga not sex. and I dont do yoga. yet. am just hyper-flexible. & yes I have a good sex life. even with Le Turd – as we claused a decade we were ‘relatainonaly’ still at it like happy rabbits. pity that reign ended. but it did. would the K.S psyche prolong our effervesence? or prototype it?

        Bringit goddamn perpetually ON!!

      • Oh I can’t remember much of the KS to be honest – I can’t believe this but I actually borrowed it from the university library when I was about 19 and had to keep it hidden cos I was living with my parents. I think I was expecting to be excited by it but it seemed daft and irrelevant. But at least the sexy pics are better than this horrible Joy of Sex – old and new – just revolting!! This post has given me a giggle ha ha!!!

  16. “penetration manual” LOL
    That’s igzacly the problem….
    It was sellling that- but the majority of the fun, is in the other bits…..

    And all the ghastly close ups, and over-exact detail, hairs drawn in individually, gruesomely realistic expression. It is the anti Libra book…..

  17. My first real lover was a Sagg, who had been initiated into sex by his Gemini Dad with a trip to sydney from North Qld at age 15 to some “iconic” 70’s/80’s high class brothel.. May have been called A touch of Class (BLEUURCHH) any way I put that shock behind me and proceeded to be taught……
    Me 17, he 18, very hot, very horny lessons in fellatio for which I am still grateful and I am sure all my following partners are too.
    He was just raw and matter of fact and so keen to do it all of the time, I have probably been searching for something like that ever since.
    Sat me down to my first porno…. “deepthroat” of course. I am 100% sure the Joy of Sex would have been in that household somewhere!
    And very co-incidently the birthday gift that I gave him that year was a beautifully illustrated watercolour book called …. “THE JOY OF FROGS”
    that I bought because I hated them and he was forever having to rescue me from frogs on the farm…….. oh now in hindsight it really was the PERFECT gift for him and I bet he still has it!

    • Venusian, Touch of Class was a fabulous place. A famous singer or 2 made their overseas
      travel money at that bleuuurchh place which was tasefully & beautifully decorated, the women
      stylish & educated.
      They don’t accept anyone under 18 so some fibbing must have happend, so he was very lucky
      (a Sagg :-) to have been initiated by such charming women who are probably the Movers & Shakers
      of Society now.

      Frogs are very special as a barometer of the bio sphere, treasure them. I have kissed plenty!

  18. Mystic I just love your story! I remember seeing this book as a kid and it put me off sex for years! I am so visual and I always worry about beards, upper lip fur etc!!

    However, I must say as a Sagg Sun, Scorp Rising I enjoy tasteful sex manuals. I love learning and trying new things, so am game to check out any new info. I remember really researching the subject when I truly discovered, hey I am a woman and sex is great! Took some time to get here (35! okay prowln and sweetpea, pegs etc. I admit I must be a slow learner!)but when I did I could not get enough! My boyfriend who was older was thrilled as his ex wife saw sex as a chore. I then discovered my imagination was totally enough to have fun and I did not need manuals. Though t6hey can be a turn on if you are not getting any!:(

  19. Sally Sagg,
    Many i will say but it is most women sexually mature AFTER 35 years, so many of you have much to look
    forward to.
    Look into something called ‘The Fire Breath’ all done with muscles, breath & visualising what you
    can’t actually see, alone. Of course it will turn you on, so what you do is to use your imagination to direct
    the sexual fire thro’ the chakras, just to the forth, the heart, for starters. When it reaches the 3rd eye,
    you will see the sun moon & stars, so you are ‘makinglove’ to the Universe, then teach it to your new partner, even if it is YOURSELF who is your new partner.
    Read & use some of the breathing & muscle contracts whilst alone to keep yourself ‘alive & pumped’.
    Set up a Sacred Space to do so. It is the Intention & Direction of this very powerful energy that
    is the most important feature. What to do with your Libido when partnerless as an act of worship
    acknowledgement of it & channelling it into a goal, a dream, a lifestyle etc.

    Yeah yeah, just ask me……off the lecture box.
    In old times there were Pillow Books to guide couples & for the elite Aubrey Beardsley illustrations.
    Anais Nin. But education was only for the elite then now it’s available to everyone.
    Do you know that it used to cost much for men to learn the Million Dollar spot in China, the spot that controls the juice. Now you can buy it for 25 dollars, it’s called the Multi Orgasmic Man aka MOM.

    Wish Dr. Morrissey had read it instead of Cosmo & Cleo…….’URGE’ is the bain of my life. Seriously!!
    I entered the Tantric Arena coz i wanted to cure the world of HIV+, as my hi flying idealism went:
    Ok, if couples did these practices for 3 months BEFORE enclosure = time for blood results on any & every STD plus bonded for life.
    Note: It was the Prostitute’s Association in conjunct the Aids Council that helped Government with the sex pax rolled down banana trick as that way it becomes a sexy part of foreplay.
    Yes, it’s always the woman who has to take care of that….soooo?
    So don’t worry & be happy, that’s just the way it is, Bebe :-)
    Homework?
    What is the difference between Visualising & Imagination?

  20. Wow pegs, thanks muchly. At present I am going to a mediatation session nice a week. One of my challenges is to quieten down and not do a million things. So sitting quietly doing yoga or the stuff you mention is a whole new ball game for me. I went to a Pilates class once and I was in such a naughty mood I felt like pushing everyone over – gently of course! It is s just too quiet an activity for me. Reading is the quietest and now meditation of course. Trying to get my mind to keep still is tres dificile and I am trying to learn…….sigh!

  21. Hmmm they say visualisation actually makes your dreams come true as you see them in your mind’s eye as already done. Whereas imagination is a dream, a hope, an idea you have created but not necessarily seen in your mind?

  22. Hmmmm, let me see.

    As a pisces I spent the first 20 years devouring any manuals I could find to intensify lustiful (pre)occupations. By the time I’d hit my mid thirties I figured I’d found my preferred ‘positions’. (I started young). And wasn’t “The Joy of Sex” boring for inspiration!!!!!!!????

    However, I’d never experienced sensuality until I turned 40. There is no manual that can bring that on without chemistry between the partners first. Oh sure there are ‘methods’, but someone without the sensual aspect in their personality being present first meant it was just a ‘try toooooo hard’ experience. And, annoying.

  23. leo’s don’t need manuals too hard to hold and bonk at the same time – tres impractical. however i agree the chemistry has gotta be right and to feel safe to surrender completely with your partner is the key I have found with my lustful leo man. He is not boyfreind material but what a lover! and now I’ve accepted that our time together is precious well its even better. Sex under the bright full moon last friday was awesome.

  24. Sun in Taurus…read it as a reference to perfect the technique (cause we are very determined peeps) but does not account for the sensuality that we incorporated into such a tactile, intimate pastime. I can’t think of anything nicer than sharing a “how to” manual in bed and trying all the positions/tips/suggestions and discovering what each person wants/loves/admits to wanting/loving!
    Hmmmmm…….have a couple of big, thick books I might have to study tonight!