Hi-Lo Astro: Haute Sagittarius – Low Sagittarius

Charmian Kittredge-Ultra Sagg

“She had a rich and stimulating voice with a wide tone range, laughed a great deal, even though the point of humour might be obscure, and was an indegatigable talker. She could carry on an intelligent and logical discussion, for she had a varied flow of words and phrases. A woman of great physical courage, she was the first to ride astride a horse into the hills when few women were riding at all, and those who dared were riding English side-saddle on the Golden Gate Park bridle paths. She had a deep love of horses. Ambitious, both socially and intellectually, she worked hard to advance herself, and saved her money with which to take a trip through Europe, did a little painting on China dishes, tried hard to make progress each year over the last.”

Description of U.S. novelist and ultra-Sagg Charmain Kittredge (1871-1955), who was novelist Jack London’s wife.

HAUTE SAGITTARIUS IS:

SPUNKY Sagittarians are like the people in personal advertisements would be if they weren’t lying. Sagg really is as comfortable in a ballgown as in a pair of jeans, as happy bushwhacking as they are flying into an exciting new city. Even weirder, they’re like people in television commercials. Sagg girls do come striding out of some shop, swing their shiny hair around, smile at the cute guy lurking behind their snazzy car that they managed to park right outside wherever they’re at. Sagg guys wake up in the morning, looking hot, sing in the shower, bounce downstairs for a smoothie breakfast, and zoom off to tennis or sailing.

JOYOUS Saggs are keen to maintain a high level of personal optimism and glee in life. The one time a month they get around to cleaning the house, they will be deliriously happy with the way everything gleams. More dour types accuse them of being on drugs. They’re not. Oh, all right, maybe some of them are but their love of living bubbles up from deep within them, like mineral water from a deep secret source at the base of a volcano. They’re idealist so while they do angst about genetically engineered food and endangered wild animals, they keep it real and positive. They rant on to everyone they know, spreading the word, fire off letters and petitions and attend protests.

FUN-LOVING Like Spanish painter Picasso’s Sagg lover Francoise Gilot, they think life is a one-way ticket…it can only be lived forward. British poet William Blake said the path of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Sagg has a huge appetite for everything life has to offer. A Sagittarian would volunteer for a backyard cloning experiment if they were in the mood. Saggs love flying off to a great beach or going halfway across the planet for a fabulous party. A Sagg can be at a ski-resort toga party on the Saturday night and back in time for Sunday morning’s aquarobics class before heading off to lunch.

CANDID Saggs can puncture the most pompous bore with a well-aimed quip. As novelist Mark Twain wrote, “power, money, persusasion, supplication, persecution – these can lift at a colossal humbug – push it a little, weaken it a little over the course of a century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.” Incidentally, Twain once sent all his friends telegrams saying, “All is discovered – flee at once,” and to his amusement many of them did. Writer Nancy Mitford created a huge stir with Noblesse Oblige, her best-selling guide to what is and is not upper class.

IN-THE-MOMENT Sagittarius loves to savour the moment, relishing the abundance of life whether they are skydiving, larking it up on a cocktail bar, or doing something as mundane as scraping a squashed snail off their foot. Like 19th century British novelist Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice), Sagittarians “think only of the past as its rememberance gives pleasure.”

MOTIVATIONAL A Sagittarian’s sheer delight in living inspires all around them to go for it and follow their own dreams. And Sagg’s bawdy good humour enlivens everything.

LO-SAGGO IS:

IRRESPONSIBLE Sagittarians can walk – or sprint more like it – away from any problem. And what is a problem to these people? Responsibility or, as they call it, ‘’negativity’’. They can’t hack the idea of being unable to cope, so they won’t cope. See? It’s a choice that Sagg has made – because they’re dynamic, adventurous, and free-willed. Hey, they just didn’t want to hang around and put up with that negative crap. Their idea of dealing with an issue is to make it your problem. Sagittarians are prone to storming out and telling someone to get their crap together even when it is clearly the Sagg’s crap. Even worse is the Sagg who’s done therapy: “I’m picking up that you’re in a really resentful place right now…” before galloping out of the door because “I don’t want to go there with this negativity…” If responsibility was a place, Sagg wouldn’t even be able to find it. Sagg would think it was like Narnia in the C.S. Lewis book The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, where you had to go through the back of the magic wardrobe to find whatever you were looking for. Some Saggs don’t even like the word “place”. It sounds too fixed. They prefer “space”. Sagittarians have spaces in their heart, not places. They have their space in the sun, and their moral-high space.

TACTLESS Sagg lack of tact is legendary. They drop the most amazing “did she just say what I think she said?” clangers and they don’t even work at it. Never let a Sagg just wing it for a speech at a wedding, funeral or christening. As everyone cringes, Sagg will smirk, thinking “at least I tell it like it is”.

SELF-CENTRED You say ego, Sagg thinks self-esteem. Because so many Saggs have a bohemian aura, their ego can go undetected. It will be swamped in a sea of intellectual discourse, full-on raves about principle, and general Sagg swagger. But it’s there, even if this lot do start off every second sentence with “I don’t want to boast but…” They get frustrated when their support system slackens off. They don’t get it that it’s not the done thing to screech “don’t you know who I am?” at their own family like a has-been soap star being refused an A-list table. A Sagg can neglect to notice when the natives are restless. A Sagg can think the fact that their partner barely has the energy to do anything other than nod “yes, dear” is a good thing. It means the person is becoming accustomed to being a valet or handmaiden to Sagg genius. Then they act all appalled when an outbreak of “negativity” occurs in their life. Many a Sagg has returned from a surfing safari with their ex-lover to find their home empty.

FULL OF CRAP It would be so cool if Sagittarians came equipped with a mute button. They go on and on and on. Ideally, like the characters on television, they would not know that they had been muted. They carry with them an invisible soapbox on which they leap to deliver their interminable preachy raves. They can be so in love with their own righteousness that they don’t even realise they are pulverizing someone else’s psyche. Not deliberately, of course.Our Sagg is totally into freedom and self-expression for all life forms. Well-brought up Saggs can actually manage to shut up and not interrupt. But all of them secretly think that the boring interval when someone else is talking is a mere gap for them to catch a breath while their mind boggles at their own profundity.

SEE ALSO: Saggo L’Homo Nouvelle

My Saggo Neighbour Dude

Your Saggo Girlfriend

© Mystic Medusa 2010

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