Doesn’t Matter What Everyone Tells You To…

Kate+Orne+-+wn+095Kate Orne

It doesn’t matter WHAT everyone tells you to do, what you think you should do or however this weekend is being played; the Moon is in Capricorn and Saturn schlepping along through the end degrees of Virgo. Status anxiety and performance awareness vie with health-time-efficiency-motion study AND task consciousness…It won’t go away till you measure it, define it, write it down, acknowledge it and create a plan to address the inefficiencies in your system.

And then, once you have satisfied the Saturn-Cap vibe by delineating what was previously vague…voila! Zen-Zone…Never mind that it may, in theory, take till the next time Uranus rounds the Earth for you to get a grip on the admin-self-esteem nexus. T’is the effort that is prized by la luna in Cap et al.

31 thoughts on “Doesn’t Matter What Everyone Tells You To…

  1. Well,

    This 26 deg. Moon in Cap needed to play today but will still go to the pool to exercise this evening because that feels like fun but a good discipline too.

    Tomorrow, different chores.

    But your Creativity and Discipline thread was timely for me Mystic because it helped me loosen up and sort some stuff.

    Thanks. So grateful you around this weekend! Love, SP

  2. I have to say I’m grinding away, stuck on details as I write. Thank goddess this site provides respite.

    Grind, grind, agonize, agonize….Thank you Saturn.

  3. See this is why I keep coming back to Mystic’s blog … I ALWAYS get an explanation for the latest bee that’s got stuck in my bonnet. My Saturnine blitzkreig on adminstrivia didn’t end after last months slogfest. It’s now morphed and I’m upskilling by deciding to teach myself the latest web design protocols in CSS, Dreamweaver and Flash actionscript 2. Well why the hell not!? More services to offer direct to clients instead of having to outsource means more $$$ for me. AND I’ve hired a personal trainer since I tried to organise my diet and exercise regime about five weeks ago with only limited success, so I figured something’s not right. Probably the fact that my job entails sitting around on my arse all day is not helping. Oh and that after this winter’s extended zen-slob fiesta I’m quite unfit, can’t even handle a freakin upward dog and keep fantasising about McAngus burgers. Oh and that fundamentally I’m a lazy fuqer. So I might need some motivation from a third party. Wouldn’t it be a cack if she (the new trainer) turned out to be a Virgo or something … wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

    • Hilar Prowls,

      You go girl. You described alot of me there to some extent (Peanut M&M’s today AND an Almond choc. Hershey’s bar) except that my computer intell not as vast. “Greek” to me, but then you ARE Greek…

      Have a Greek patient. Loved her stories about her trip to Greece this last summer. She and her husband got lost and no clothes to wear, meanwhile her Mom DOES have an apt. in Athens but does not want to get rid of junk inside.

      Her last name “Possiden”. Everytime I see it I think of Posiden, one of the Gods of the ocean.

      Fascinating. Mum won’t leave our apt. but the ONLY place she EVER wanted to go in her whole life was Greece.

      Why am I ranting on about this? No idea in hell. Maybe a juicy dream on the rise or a sychro incident?

      Or, Cappy Moon in 8th and this is Cappy weekend… :)

    • It took a while to get my fitness goals off paper and actually happening, but I did find that by making an appointment with a PT I kept turning up…and then by doing, I found I could do more than I imagined, and that’s lead in a very short time to increased confidence. It for me has circumnavigated I’m a sluggard, lazy fuqer ways.

      For instance, I organised my Saturday slightly differently, based on thwarted intentions last week…and found myself not only ready to go to the gym, but almost by accident there in time for a RPM class…and I respond well to dim lighting loud music and someone shouting ‘harder, go harder’…maybe flashbacks to when I played soccer, but still it’s amazing what I can find fun if I give it a go…

      Good luck Prowlin, the exercise pumps amazing amounts of oxygen into your brain which will help with the upskilling…

      • I love that … “took a while to get my fitness goals off paper and actually happening” … yes there does appear to be a process involved (doesn’t EVERYTHING seem to have a process involved???)

    • SPIN OUT SYNCHRONICITY!!!

      The new personal trainer is a VIRGO … din I say so din I din I ??? I’ve come over all witchygoogoo now

  4. Gosh, and here I am almost giving myself a migraine re: should i go back to study when I can’t even find the time to write when all i really want to do is swim but I keep falling into deep unsatisfying sleep as a way of not thinking about any of it and i really am not enjoying my work at the moment and …how did I get here again? So I just need to write it down? I will. Thankyou.

    Has this been going since last Tuesday? My head hurts, literally.

    • Maybe mindmapping will help seabird, just this week I was able to connect the slightly disparate things I know I wanted to do over the next few years/decade. I started listing the desire, and a way or few I could accomplish it, and then built from there.

      A couple of days later and I’ve got a mix that contains adventure, health, exercise, home renos,saving,travel, training, teaching, study, through to a Phd.

      Between this and a why can’t I don’t I just aim for what I want no matter how much it seems beyond me at this present point…plus I am going for a gradual build…pacing helps makes plans happen…anyways good luck and I hope your head stops hurting stat.

      • Your reply here has influenced the way I think about the middle distance future & thank YOU :).

        I’ve never been disciplined in mapping out my short term ie the next 5 years, nutted things out for far in the future ie how my kids will turn out, how & where I want to live in old age. I’m a bit like Aquamaide. Must be what it’s like for us Aqua’s?

        • I’m glad that sparked some ideas for you Savannah. The thing I find useful about this mindmapping exercise is it’s not set in stone…it’s a guide of possible timing, and meshing…but it makes more tangible my imaginings…which I’m presently finding very helpful.

  5. this is so frighteningly accurate…I’ve just done a job I don’t like doing just for the money (it was a disaster), fretting about how I’m going to find time to support myself and do the things i like doing, in the meanwhile getting increasingly anxious that I don’t have a “career” but seem paralysed to actually do anything about it cos there are all these *things* that swirl around in my head…things that i can probably sort out if just sit down and write a list and action plan…

  6. So timely and explains the mental wringer I’ve been putting myself through this past week. Still no closer to a solution, so I’ll take Mystic’s advice.

  7. Oh thankyou I am not alone. I am a single mother living alone in the Middle East working a job I neither love nor hate because i could not stand being poverty-stricken in the west. I am a very good writer. i am scared to give any of my energy to writing because so much of my energy is caught up in working, looking after my daughter. Now i am about to embark on a master’s, which will take 3 years and a lot of work, on top of what I already do. And I still just want to write. But I can’t, because life isn’t like that – life is not ‘the creative urge’ versus real life. It’s ALL real life. i must have a Master’s, it’s security. i have no other security for myself and my daughter except my brains, my own cunning and my own strength. I will just have to ration my writing time, as if i just gave it all up to chase the muse, I would be paralysed by thoughts of poverty, and how i could not defend my child. I have no man anywhere near me. i have a feeling of standing on a high ledge, and I am full of fear and anger and that possible joy one gets from forcing oneself to cross over. I have never felt more alone in my whole life, and yet i have never felt more free or more potential strength. i cannot return to the west, I would just return my daughter and myself to an existence i don’t believe in. But i have no paths to follow. I am terrified. I am ridiculously glad today that this blog exists. i really thought I was about to have a major panic attack. The work, the work and the balancing act, and the work, the endless, endless work. And no-one to take the reins. But this is the life I have,so i must make it work and love it. there is no other way but straight through. I shall now put my head up straight and walk serenely through my balancing act, and i will try to take it all in my stride.

    • I guess it depends how much security you need.

      I have a writer friend (as yet unpublished but I daresay will be) who runs a successful corporate psych practice. She gets up at 5 am daily and writes until 7 am and has written two novels that way. If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way to do it.

  8. Oh, and LL, thankyou for the comment above. I do this sometimes. I would still rather be here, out on the edge of nowhere, with no-one to help and not a man in sight, than stuck in inner-city melbourne, trying to juggle a job and my daughter’s childcare, always worrying about the rent, if it was going to go up, always thinking about time, always wanting to get free. I have my mix – in fact, i have more than my mix.

    Do you ever get what you want and it terrifies you? Or you get it and you realise that it requires more strength than you initially thought to hold onto.

    Ever since i was very young, I wanted to be like Isabelle Eberhardt – a woman who dressed as a man and disappeared into North Africa for decades. Or Richard Burton. Or Paul Bowles. I have got everything I desire, and now i must find the power to make it work. It’s becoming late here. If you are reading this, apologies for my self-indulgence, and may we all find the strength.

    • Seabird reading your comment it seems that you have an overall peace with where you are for many reasons…it’s that in this moment you’re looking at what you will know will work for you in the long term, and it’s the responsible income building thing. Wonderfully self caring act for yourself and your daughter.

      What I really admire is that in the midst of the pressure, you are still holding true to something solely for yourself. Regardless of difficulty you will carve out some writing time, just for you.

      Although my daughters are adults now…when their father and I first split they were 15 and 10…and it was hard. Hard financially (although he contributed what he legally should of and a bit more) there were times that emotionally being the main one to provide guidance when I was reeling, and emotional support when I felt anything but strong…yeah it was hard.

      At that point in my life I didn’t recognise that I needed at least one thing just to feed me, to feed my soul…something separate from the responsibilites. I kept looking as best I could after everyone else…and it’s taken years of ill health to claw my way up to where I am now.

      So YES just this last week I’ve been scared shiteless at times because it’s all about to happen…or is happening because I understand myself better and I’m allowing myself to do the sensible thing (well what I consider sensible which is not in the same neighbourhood of sensible to most people) but it’s wrapped in pushing myself outside of my comfort zone…which alternates between terrifying and a giddy feeling of joy.

      Yes I agree it’s not either or, creative versus real life. I think some people get unstuck when they ignore living their real life creatively, looking for the opportunity to create some joy for themselves and others…I think for some people their soul recognises that a rut is just an earlier percursor for the grave….and this shoves/nudges us past any discomfort that change brings.

      So yes may I echo, ‘May we all find the strength’.

    • Just had another thought regarding fear, fear at change, fear at getting what I want. Lately there has been this annoying voice that drags through my head, every now and then that goes, ‘ what if you do all this and you hate it?…what if you’re not good enough?’

      Which is where the planning has helped. In everything I do there is an element that I love and an element that I just don’t, with a lot of shading in between…I figure if I dream something up there has to be a reason to at the very least explore the possibilities.

      Whether I’m good enough, well there is most often someone less skilled and more skilled at something I can do at any given moment. All I can control is trying to do my best and accessing whatever learning I can to improve.

      The thing that is helping me at the moment is that while some of my goals are way out of my comfort zone… the path to them is littered with small actions…from here to there may seem like this huge leap, but it’s actually lots of little steps…I can with the knowledge I have of myself and what I’d like to achieve imagine a couple of things that could slow me down, so I plan possible ways to not let this stop me…and these days I’m more accepting that sometimes a slower pace reveals things I would not notice if I was hurtling past.

      I think it just comes down to my receptiveness to opportunity.

    • Sounds a bit more pleasant than what I’m dealing with Spirit but it has nothing to do with the peeps, just a neccessity.

      Brother and his wife coming out today to go over Mom’s legal stuff should she croak on us…lol (she’s not getting off THAT easy yet!)

      But Moon in Cappy and this is Moon in Cappy weekend and the trans. NN in Cap on my Moon in 8th.

      8th house stuff today..Wills, death, other’s money, etc.

    • funnily – did spice cabinets last new moon – @I think there’s no more odd balls in the back, something unopened since 1992 unearths!!

      am re-orgaizing finance, income stream, career opps & $ obligations…….balanced by health & fitness.

      bring on the new!!
      xox

  9. LL your comments help enormously. It’s not a matter of making time – it’s finding the balance. My child is one of my biggest co-creations, and I am always wary about putting anything ahead of her while she is still so young. But you do need another outlet. I’ve been alone with my girl since she was 8 months old, with no help whatsoever from my ex and very little from family. But now, when I see what a kid she is, I feel proud where I used to feel bitter. but that was a conscious choice, to make the time to be with her, as is coming here, to make the time to be with her. That’s why I don’t get up at 5am to write (well, I get up at 6 am because work starts early in these parts), because i do not need to force myself any more than I already do. there must be joy and space in life.

    I find it fascinating also watching myself and others and reading your comments about this. The creative urge for women can sometimes be so hard to maintain. So many times I’ve wished I was a man. In many cases, it’s a choice of babies or creativity. But some of us want it all, and then into the mix you are the only breadwinner. I think a lot of the women that Mystic highlights on this site are women who don’t conform, who follow the muse. But i wonder how many of them had children??

    • Totally right about women’s sacrifices of creativity for children. Yet there are also women who would chuck all the ‘freedom’ to have a family. My writer friend’s eldest is nearly out of high school, so she has less child rearing responsibility now. After an illness a couple of years ago, she and her hubby realized she needed to do her creative thing and worked it into their lives. I don’t think it’s been easy. I hope you get the balance you wish for.

      I personally have never wished to be a man. They have a whole set of restrictive roles and masculine images to screw them up. Plenty of men are embittered by their dreams of lost libertinism or the creativity they could have had if they hadn’t taken on role of provider. Then if they get their freedom, sometimes by dumping their responsibilities, they often screw, drink or drug themselves to death. Of course women destroy themselves too, but statistically men make more of a job of it (shown in life expectancy for single or divorced men and rates of alcoholism, declines in health etc.)

      In the end, we can only do our best.

    • Bless you for giving your little one the price-less benefits of your time and attention while she is young ! Those years are so special to a child.

  10. Seabird, you can do it. My son is 14 now and it’s just been the two of us since I was pregnant. No family in Australia either. Just keep putting one foot on the ground every morning and ask whatever power you believe in for enough strength and wisdom for that day. Keep loving your precious child and supporting her financially. She will have a strong role model and you will be proud you did it for both of you. My boy is calm and popular and loves his Mum. I’ve done all sorts of work from crappy diswashing to bookeeping to running courses to pay our way and now I’m about to go back to do a masters too. It feels like Saturn in my sign for the first time in 29 years is ushering in a free new era and bring it on, I say! Keep the faith young lady, you are not alone. Bless.

  11. Sincerely, thanks everybody. i think i periodically have a bit of a whinge on this site about the same thing, but i do really appreciate the cyber-chick support.
    Seabird

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