Dark Moon Meanderings

Haven’t heard the call for a couple of years now but ‘Women who run with the Wolves’ is one of the mainstays of my book collection.

I’ve been so busy clearing, chucking, upturning and, as Clarissa says, ‘peering’ closely at all my stuff by way of the dark moon cull. Thought I was a minimalist but I can’t believe how much gear I’ve been storing…..

Thanks for the ritual, Mystic. I’ve thrown away so much clothing and cosmetics. I finish the (cage) day job venue managing and running computer/corporate courses at a public hospital in December. Waiting to get confirmation of a place in a Masters of Social Work so hopefully that comes next week. I’ll be lighting my red candle for courage tomorrow as the New Moon arrives. Got heaps more sorting and cleaning to do before then tho’

I couldn’t have survived the last few months without your insight, humour and good old fashioned stretch, hydrate, sleep, detach and set and forget Saturn girl boundaries. Love your work.

Picked up the most gorgeous red leather chair and matching footrest today for my Libran birthday – specially for reading gorgeous books.

Bless.

Told the ex a long time ago that I forgave him because I understood his stupidity. That doesn’t sound very much like forgiveness though, does it, since it’s not couched in pretty words.

Think I must be doing pretty good though because other than here, I don’t usually think about the ex. From time to time, some things still do hurt however and so for forgiveness to be “an act of creation” to me, one has to continue healing.

william so with you on the singing – and pink floyd! – and maybe even some turkish hash but that’s been a long time… had a major finding of my own voice through singing on long driving trips – just going with whatever sound came out of me – so powerful – made me realise how i had allowed my voice to be taken by others. it’s with me again.

i tried the whole ask a question of my dreams last night, and the only ones I can remember where about massages and lolling about in mineral springs – both of which I’ve been doing a bit lately, but would be very obscure ways to address the issue at question.
I also had some kind of armageddon world falling apart climb a mountain to escape a tsunami that resulted from warring powers firing missiles into the ocean type dream as well. Which also didn’t answer my question.
I’m thinking I’ll go with the massages and mineral springs approach.

WAs just in my backyard soaking up the Sunday sun and marvelling at the beautiful Ulysses butterflies like the one in the pic above, so beautiful. A lovely symbol of change, new life, beginnings, of putting on your wings and flying! Bring-it-on!!

Been dreaming about my ex. Wonderful happy dreams. Makes me want to hope…..

but no, I am thinking at this new moon, something…
new beginning of surrender… like pluto… the giving up of attatchments
and the chiron… what do you find after truly surrendering then?
just kevin costner riding into enemy fire in dances with wolves like that…
is this about venus?
I am thinking maybe it is…. (for me at least…) surrendering… (what if you did commit suicide? complain so much why don’t you do it then? – do you want to? (always tempting….) but what does it mean?
It’s a helluva thing…. total surrender… wow…
– in order to connect with something… and the only way to connect to it is
by true surrender, not false…
these moons….. these moons….these planets… they speak-

The above quote is really cool and how i feel down to a T . Just wrote my list for the new moon ritual and burnt whle chanting …. I just hope the neighbours didnt see or hear me … oh well.

singing I believe also brings the angels around…

I believe this… (sing with palms up and hands open…)

I know a teacher who never sings for this reason… afraid of it’s power..
(angels?)

I was mediating when moon got hit by nasa on oct 9 and it was if my thoughts were erased and then replaced with one word “angel”
and I did not do this but it happened by itself… hmmm.
I wasn’t singing tho’….
but very upset they were hitting the moon like that…

(and it was trine chiron at that exact moment..)

angels…. like that…

well an astrologer on the net kind enough to answer a question and look at my chart for free simply because she enjoyed having had a laugh by me… (pays to have a sense of humor sometimes I guess..)
hope she wouldn’t mind if I share it…(why would she?) she wouldn’t…

The question was when was a lucky time to play the lottery— (this is the part of the story hard for me to talk about above– (stupid) seemed to me my lotto numbers were coming up in weird ways—

but this is interesting reading about money for anyone I should think so I offer it (not for any other reason but by apology for being so cryptic, I don’t
mean to be an A-hole like that really, I hate that…

using divination in order to try to win the lottery—-

– and then you see your numbers come up— shocking…(of course I blew it because I was really tired that day,… not taking care of myself etc..)

so I asked when it will happen again, since I was offered choice of one question by this professional astrologer… amazing..

3/29/58 louisville ky 4:36pm

Where’s the money?

First, the overall picture: it seems you have a deep concern with money. This isn’t bad; you recognize that it’s merely a form of energy, and you’re attuned in such a way that you know having it or not somehow reflects one’s ability to be ‘in the flow’ or in harmony with life and one’s Purpose–but of course, this is your belief, and so your life reflects your beliefs about your own path, and your own harmony (or lack of it) with the life force. Now, here’s where it gets tricky: there are Universal laws, and then there are our beliefs about life, and where the two intersect is where and how we create our experiences. It appears that you have conflicting beliefs about money and your own worthiness to receive it; this is very common, though you’ve raised this quandry to an art form, as it seems you see what you get as both a reflection of your worthiness and a sign that you have done something right, in terms of Universal law–and so you spend a lot of mental energy trying to decipher just what brought this or that windfall, and how it was you truly earned something–(and you look at other areas of life this way, as well)–so that it becomes an proceeding as they do.

With your belief that money comes to you for reasons, and specifically as a reflection of your worth, and, ultimately, the assessment of who you are and what you deserve being a big focus of your life, you can make the money picture very complicated indeed. And this all may be a bit of a disappointment to you, since I think you’re hoping I can point you in a solid direction to find your pot of gold–the thing is, resources to fill our needs are always available, to every human being, as long as their beliefs don’t get in the way; beyond that, many people have the opportunity to work with assets or money to learn various things about themselves, about how the Universe works (or doesn’t) and about the place of money and assets in the larger, interaction-with-others scheme of things. But not everyone will be able to create a fortune–the things they need to experience don’t allow for that possibility–and that’s no reflection on their worth as a person–and yet, in many ways, that’s how you seem to be approaching it–as if 1) money does reflect who you are and what you’re worth and 2) that there actually is a sort of magical way to find all the money you want. I’ll give you a little of the astrological picture, and you’ll see how strongly for you the money picture is entwined with the beliefs about what you should or shouldn’t have, and how this means that, at least for you, it’s your honest, core beliefs about yourself that in the end dictate everything.

The 2nd of finances and Self-worth has a Libra cusp, ruler Venus in Aquarius in the 5th (you may see the ability to create and generate as the ultimate measure of individual worth, especially if that involves Aquarian subjects). The 2nd holds Jupiter at 29 Libra (crisis! may give a feeling that you must expand, produce ‘big,’ impress, to be worthy–and Jupiter rules the 4th of deepest Self, which contains Saturn–and this may imply a strong need to nail down who you really are, and by proxy, what you’re worth). 2nd also holds NN (the direction you are moving–so likely no way to avoid the wrestling with money/ Self-worth concepts), and Neptune, which rules the 7th (looking to the illusions you may have about others and measuring yourself–this can be a slippery slope! with little relation to your true worth, or their true asset picture). The 8th of other people’s resources and how they may share these with you is ruled by Mars (your ideal of yourself as a man) which sits in the 5th (connected to that creative and generative spark again). The 8th holds Vesta (what you find sacred–so you may, in terms of money, tend to see others as chronically being endowed with ‘more’ and there may be a pushme pullyou internal contest that says they both deserve it and don’t!) The 8th also holds SN (been there, done that–and this may give you a feeling that you are well equipped to judge others’ worthiness–and in a very real way, you are, when you don’t try to assess yourself in the mix!) Mercury, ruler of the 1st and 10th is also here, linking what others have and will (or won’t) share with you again to the sense of Self (this time specifically to the ‘I am’ that you present on first meeting, the typical persona that comes forward in surface interaction) and to the reputation and career (the public sense of Self, we might say).

The 8th also holds Sedna, the ‘blind spot’ of the chart, and that suggests that when it comes to what others have materially vis a vis what you have, you may not see things clearly. So, we’re seeing some themes here, generally that you do not have a clear means of assessing your own worth, what others actually possess, and the why’s and hows of how each state came to be, and further, that there’s a lot of energy that runs in this direction, making this an important subject for you.

So, of course, I’ve talked all around the real question, which is, “Where can you find money?” And the answer is that the ‘where’ or ‘how’ is really not the crux of it for you, it’s the fact that your beliefs (Jupiter) run the show. Pluto in the 12th is like adding a supercharger to your subconscious, and that souped-up energy funnels to a large number of key energies (all those Pluto aspects). This means that you, rather than any arena or subject, are the real arbiter of how much comes to you–and I suspect this is exactly the last thing you want to hear, while at the same time it’s exactly what you knew all along.

The lottery wins when Venus moved through Aries (7th and 8th) fall right into this pattern–you likely were feeling you were in some way a winner or due others’ resources, and they came to you. There is also that elephant in the room known as Venus conjunct Chiron–but once again, this connects assets and the ability to earn to how you assess yourself–very much a mental construct, when found in Aquarius–and conversely this also hints at where you are endowed, where you can excel, and that would be in intellectual pursuits that call for some creative expression and that allow you full rein to really express yourself, who you are and how you process and see anything to which the intellectual understanding can be applied. Now, I have no idea what you do for a living, what your training is, and so on, but this is an area of strength–so at the very least should be exploited in the hobby department, with a likely outlet of the internet–and this could, easily and unexpectedly, result in some degree of earning for you.

Current transits do indicate that this is a point in life when you really must bring more of your talents forward in activities, or perhaps, bring talents you’ve already been exercising to a new level. With Saturn just across the ASC and in the 1st, you are looking at a good stretch when study and development are appropriate, perhaps even the slow building of a second career. T Neptune conj N Venus suggests you may be more than usually confused about how to go about earning effectively, but it also says the imagination is at its richest, and should be used to make dreams (especially ones you may have been too reluctant to attempt making real previously) come true–as well, it can signal an almost fairytale love (and this can be the discovery of something you’re truly passionate about).

You’re in the midst of the Chiron Return, and this is a transit that fairly demands you have some essential means of expressing the Soul in place in the life, and Pluto trine Pluto says you have the power to do it, no question, so any life rearranging you want to do, now’s the time. With that natal Pluto in 12th and contacting so many energies, funneling the subconscious material is all important–and will be the way to earn BIG, if you can get it together. However, with T Sedna square both Chiron and Venus, and Neptune conjunct Venus, it could be exceptionally difficult for you to feel you know what to do–but this may be all for the good, allowing you to move forward and try things that, if you had a more solid handle on what you think your talents and abilities are, you wouldn’t try–so right now, it looks like you’re enjoying a number of transits that will help you get out of your own way!

It appears that your dreams are very much about garnering nurture and affection through expressing your own uniqueness (11th, Cancer cusp, Moon, Uranus therein)–you have a real chance to do that now, and adequate (if not oodles) of money will come with this. That natal Pluto placement, plus natal Chiron conjunct Venus, both hint that with correct Self actualization, you may become a very big earner–but of course, that would have to become your belief about yourself, in order to make it happen.

julie dembosky