Sun Sign Sign Survey: What Do You Find It Easiest To Forgive?

Art Deco couple smoking

 

This is the Sun Sign Query du Jour: You have only to answer the query as briefly or as floridly as you like and with your Sun sign identified. Thus, we can hopefully discover some interesting similarities?

Question: What do you find it easiest to forgive?

Image:  Georges Barbier Art Magick – Laziness


181 thoughts on “Sun Sign Sign Survey: What Do You Find It Easiest To Forgive?

  1. I think I could forgive nearly anything as long as the wrongdoer’s apology was genuine, wholehearted, specific and humble.

    I don’t want them to grovel (it demonstrates lack of self-worth), but they must demonstrate that they know exactly what they’ve done wrong, how it affected me, and they sincerely wish they’d done things differently.

    Melanie the Leo

  2. Any ‘real’ mistakes.
    Be honest and it’s fine. Cover it up, and I kill you!

    Buckle the Aries.

  3. nothing, really. i tend to ‘forgive’ people for the worst stuff based on the ‘they can’t help it, they had a terrible childhood’ or the ‘turn the other cheek’ defence or something, but it all sort of adds a layer of crust to me. and i mean, it’s bad stuff like cheating in a monogamous relationship etc.

    hmm, emotional martyr virgo = spinster virgo in the making!!

    i mean it’s not really ‘forgiveness’ if you forgive the individual but develop a mistrust of the whole of humanity, is it?

    do you think reiki will be sufficient to fix this?
    melanie i think your approach is probably the healthiest.. maybe i can adopt a more leonine perspective or something…

  4. I’ll forgive anyone that is genuinly sorry but if you are a repeat offender you will be shunned forever.

  5. hmmm, that really made me think, mystic!

    a very interesting question. well i forgive most easily

    a) people’s unavailability etc when they have other stuff going on in their lives
    b) silliness in social situations
    c) situations in which, fundamentally, the person has let themselves down far more than they’ve let me down.

    but i have a very hard time forgiving
    a) lying, or worse, ‘just not happening to mention the truth’
    b) deliberate ignorance
    c) passive aggressive nastiness, aggressiveness and violence

    • Saggigal –

      I also had to really think, and the first things that came to mind were the social things people seem to always apologise for, but I don’t really mind at all.

      So your adept categorisation above really does extrapolate on my bolshi one-liner quite well!

    • what is deliberate ignorance? – and if this is a stupid question I promise I’m not doing it on purpose

        • does this include things like taking hour long showers even though you live in a drought affected area and everyone knows we have to conserve water?

      • Nice definition scorpionic
        That and feigning ignorance when caught out. Akin to deliberate hopelessness. ‘Don’t mind me, I’m an airhead,’ and such piffle.

      • orangeblossom, what i meant with that term is when people who are smart and well educated etc deliberately still speak and act from the lowest common denominator. A really good example is people being racist, talking about things in black and white terms when they are informed about the ‘grey’ areas of life/politics etc. i am especially thinking of the kinds of displays you hear about on Australia Day, and slogans like “F*** off, we’re full”. Some otherwise seemngly intellegent people, who should and do know better, end up saying ignorant things. so, yep, hard to excuse/forgive.

  6. Always pretend to forgive – with a gracious smile … “Oh, that’s ok!”

    But keep said wrongdoing/incident filed away for later ammunition.. :)

    Not sure if that’s a typical Gemini response?? :)

    • does all the held in stuff make you constipated? just wondering – i get constipated if i don’t let go of mind bombs.

        • no, it was to Diamond. orangeblossom , I knew you had moon in Scorp but merc and venus too!!! you’re probably more scorp than me… hehe. I’m vibing more like my moon in Sag these days.

          • It’s funny – I didn’t think you were talking to me – yes tres scorp – which is interesting because you are one of the peeps in the mysty realms that I most often agree wholeheartedly with – it’s the scorp methinks.

          • No, no constipation at all!

            Its not like holding on to every little grudge and slight – its more like having a little filing cabinet for each person where you file away all the information you find about them – good and bad!

            Only planet I have in Scorp is Uranus (conjunct Midheaven and sextile Saturn)… not quite astro-knowledable to know what that means… :)

          • Oh so it’s like a catalogue of the overall character of the person, rather than a corner of your mind where you put the broken things :o)

            I’m not that astro savvy either but uranus conjunct your midheaven would be interesting I think. Would that mean having sudden changes in life direction? exciting

  7. A surprisingly hard question to answer.

    I find it hard to forgive bad manners and poor ettiquette. I could never date someone with bad table manners. Say chewing with mouth open, talking with mouth full.

    And people who sniffle loudly with noses full of snot…… totally intolerable!

    Is this a Leo thing? Or did it come from the nuns who drummed stuff into me at primary school?

    • there were no nuns in my world growing up MS Motown – closest I came there was a roadkill blackspot on the pedestrian crossing outside the convent up the road from where I grew up – but I too cannot abide the gob swallower, the incessant sniffer or the ill mannered eater. There’s no need for it – Libran

    • its so interesting isnt it- i have never had a problem with manners/etiquette. in fact, i think i tend towards people who kind of flout them. i dont mean being rude, just i dont like pomposity, which some etiquette , at its extreme form, can end up being.

      but then again, im a sag. i no doubt eat with my mouth open myself at times- too busy talking to wait til the food is gone!

  8. I can forgive anyone for lateness – it’s not entirely unconditional forgiveness tho – it’s an investment in the future inevitability that I will be late for them and probably sooner rather than later.

    • I can easily forgive people being late because i’m often late but never more than 15min or so. Having to wait an hour like i did last weekend to have coffee with a friend was a bit rude.

      • I forgive clients for being late EVERY day in my Beauty Clinic…Libra rising says with gorgeous smile”Its fine, you’re here now come on in (with a gentle Cap sun subtext in my head going ‘AND GIVE ME YOUR MONEY ANYWAY’)’.

        BUT… I have one client who continually pushes me for LONG appointments. always wants more than I have to offer (and I am tres busy booked up for weeks in advance).. and she is ALWAYS at least 15mins late and will then sneak in and SIT in reception like she has been there all along if I am not pacing by the door waiting for her! I am a home based business so I may go and put on a load of washing or go to my office to use the wasting time rather than waiting by the door to pounce on her when she graces me with her presencebut never more than a minute away. No appologies are ever offered. She makes me feel like she is so much more important than me.. that my time is trivial and worthless … “now do my BRAZILIAN” I visciously ponder wanting to rip it slow!!!.. but I don’t have the TIME and I could NEVER hurt her on purpose.
        I have tried to like post book her and give her a card that say 15 mins earlier start time .. but it doesn’t work …. so she is due this morning at 9am ….. LOL I can wait a few more minutes I suppose.
        Darn W.F.C I need her money!!
        People who are always late are just trying to force their self importance I feel. So I easliy forgive lateness but only because I HAVE TO!

      • I’ve found over the years that I’ve had a few Aries friends who aren’t only late… they completely forget about something we’ve planned to do. It’s only happened a couple of times in my lifetime..but it feels pretty crappy.

        With that couple of minutes late bit, the stealing of time…I do agree with V Venusian that it’s a form of self importance, perhaps at its worst , arrogance…or sometimes even delusion. I’ve seen people be late because they try to pack so much in to every minute, that they don’t leave themselves enough time for things outside of their control that will slow them down. Sometimes they have outside pressures, some I’m aware of, some I’m not (I just don’t judge too harshly in case)

        Although sometimes I think in repeat offenders there is a level of arrogance because their own world view does not allow things happening beyond their control. On the generous side of this, I don’t often come across people that conciously do this as …

        1) they have no clue they are control freaks because they feel out of control

        2) sometimes the delusion part of it comes from some fierce optimism…I like fierce optimism

        • Oh LL I’m one of the pack it ins – I’ll be in a rush to go somewhere and realise that I need to put some washing on and do the dishes and will decide which one takes less time and do it so I can say, hang laundry out when I get home – it’s not that the person I keep waiting is unimportant, I do get entirely distracted by the stuff that crops up. As I’ve got older I have realised this is what causes my problem and I actually consciously have to prioritise in my mind and think, no, you can’t finish that 1000 piece jigsaw before catching the bus or no that’s been there for weeks you don’t need to fix it now – I’ve missed planes due to the wandering mind and chronic idealised view that time will bend for me. It makes you feel so small and stupid when everything unravels because you did it again – it’s awful. You feel like you’re a grown up so you should have it worked out by now but you don’t, you’re just a scatterbrained idiot who keeps people waiting. Hence the investment in the future by forgiving others their temporal indiscretions.

          The weird thing is my job is about deadlines and in my work I’m the total opposite, it’s like my alter ego kicks in. The part thats all about the rules and keeping to schedule and doing it right first time. I’m so much more carefree and liberated (and vexatious) in my other realms.

          • OMG Anonymous, i know exactly where you are coming from!!
            I also missed a plane because i was too busy updating my ipod for the trip and i thought i had plenty of time to get to the airport. I have also deluded myself into thinking that i could bend time. I felt like such a loser when i got to the airport and they wouldn’t let me get on the plane. It was a HUGE and expensive wake-up call for me.

            And my job also is about deadlines and keeping time sheets – every 15 minutes has to be accounted for. I think part of me resents all that focus on time and that’s why i relish my weekends – not planning and not having to be anywhere at any particular time. That said, i’m always on time for my appointments with beauticians and hairdressers because i value their time.

          • O it was me SR – sorry I reverted to grey blue patchwork by accident.
            I too am on the 15 minute treadmill – have previously had diff 2 jobs that got it down to 6 minute increments – the hell with that – it makes you aware of how long it takes to pee. U + me are similar in many ways – can read yours and either feel like I know the person or I immediately realise its you without seeing gravatar.

          • Wow anonymous, at your 1.59 pm entry you described me to a T!!! I LOATHE scheduled activities on the weekends because I feel like I am spending the ‘working week’ meeting the deadline! And I seem to trap myself in ‘the plan’ because if I don’t finish the task, I feel like I have let myself down. I’m trying to find somewhere that holds yoga in this god forsaken place in Central Queensland (such a void of spiritual opportunity) to come back to calming the mind. It’s time I got myself grounded again so my own mind and emotions don’t take over my ambitions and clearheadedness. (kids change everything to do with choice of how free time is spent)

          • you are a fish out of water in CQ? I know this sounds a bit dodge but it’s worth a look if you can’t find yoga but already have some experience ie: know the poses and aren’t going to snap yourself or get stuck in a weird position – there are some ok yoga dvds out there. It’s not the same but it’s kinda better than nothing. I found some good ones at the video store which was a good way to try them – I can’t remember name or I would tell u.

        • OB/anon, SR how very time driven you both are in your work life.

          Vague outs I think are very understandable when on your version of civilian time…

          SR you know the other day where my wallet decided to play hidey with me…I’ve since had a bit of a think, and on some deeper level perhaps I was trying to slow myself down…I’d overloaded on the last couple of weeks…so my lizard brain decided to bypass all other options for a slow down(that my wallet could of assisted in quite nicely) and just subvert forward motions..Lizard brain often gets it’s wires crossed btw.

    • Exactly little blossom! At that point, it’s not a sin. It’s an understanding, no? i.e. if you can be late so can i… though definitely not an hour like scorpalicious mentioned!

      • Oh exactly – you can keep me waiting any time if that’s how you see things FA :o) it becomes a reciprocal agreement for me – but an hour requires some contact, that’s simply not on.

        • I taught my kids never to keep anyone waiting. Time is the one commodity you can’t borrow or pay back and we have no right to steal another’s precious time.

          • It’s lucky I was not born into your family CC – I would have been a constant source of disappointment to you ;o)

        • oh, there was contact – txt message and phone call but i was still pissed off and won’t be meeting that friend for coffee any time soon

  9. Holier than thou attitudes…… We all have faults and foibles, its a persons willingness to see them, see how they can damage themselves and others, and to find a way to lessen their impact or change them…. And I include myself in this…….

    I am very unforgiving tho…….

    Its a scorpio thing!?!

  10. The easiest to forgive in my opinion is definitely the brutality of honesty. Perhaps it is a scorp thing… not being afraid when things are uber intense?!

      • Yes indeed. That is precisely what I mean. Even in circumstances where honesty is rather brutal I can always and think other should always forgive the brutality out of gratitude and bravery of those who are prepared to be honest.

    • I adore honesty, so often I end up laughing…. But malicious honesty, well its not really honesty is it?

      • Perhaps not malicious. I am more referring to circumstances where people don’t say their piece in an effort to keep the waters calm. It is often used as an excuse ie I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. I would rather have my feelings hurt or pride temporarily battered for the truth and will forgive those effects to have honesty. In my experience not many people really do forgive in those circumstances. In theory they like the idea but in practice not so much.

        • Yes wholeheartedly agree! Honesty always first and foremost, even if you don’t like what is being said to you, I would always want to know the truth. So on to Mystic’s query, I can’t stand things being withheld/hidden from me, I feel duped and can’t abide any dishonesty in all forms (is that my Sag moon??); violence – particularly against women and children; bad manners -like my Grandma always told me and now I tell my kids “bad manners don’t cost anything”.; um, spelling mistakes in cafes/restaurants – if you’ve gone to the trouble of paying to open a business it’s not hard to look up words in a dictionary for signs/menus etc (- and I’m not talking about little ethnic places where English is their 2nd language) gosh is that those outer few planets in virgo??or the gem’s love for words?!; people who hold grudges/are constantly negative/read situations in the wrong way and think they are being persecuted/picked on (1st hand recent experience); and others who constantly talk about themselves/their perfect children etc and never even ask how you are (and that’s coming from a Gemini who’s known to be chatty..i.e “..Could do better in school if talked less..”). Oh so yes that leads into parents who are completely one-eyed about their children!!! We all love our children, but there are parents out there who think the sun shines out of their offspring’s backside even tho little Johnny Jnr is a horror/bully/completely normal but to them is so gifted/high-spirited/ etc..I love my children with all my heart but can also clearly see the more negative aspects of their personalities. Isn’t that part of life, to learn about ourselves and our strengths and weaknesses and work on those weaknesses???, But I don’t mind if I don’t hear from friends for a while, I know how busy life gets; if you’re late; honest mistakes; people who are polite; and I’m seriously trying to work on being able to forgive/come to terms with the father of my children’s completely irresponsible, lackadaisical attitude to seeing his kids. Phew…(gem, aqua rising, sag moon)

      • I adore honesty too! Recently a work colleague invited me to her birthday dinner and rather than make up some lame excuse or say yes then not turn up like most peeps do, I was completely honest and said “i’m sorry but i’m not a fan of dinners and cannot tolerate small talk, how about we have a coffee on the weekend instead?” and she was blown away by my honesty.

        • Lovely approach, AND you save yourself the hassle of having to keep a bunch of excuses in rotation or being tagged as mysteriously unavailable.

          I DON’T get why when I say I need some solo q time, peeps – well, more like clingy girlfriends act as if I was sabotaging the relationship. So I do the honest thing and say I just don’t feel up to it, and STILL I get harassed!

          • Some peeps can’t understand me time FA – I don’t know how that works myself, me time is imperative – do you feel your energy seep away with each passing hour spent with the needy clingons? Like you’re being syphoned? I find if I’m all powered up and ready for it it’s fine, but if I really just want some me time it’s energetically devastating not to speak up and let it be known. You get sucked dry.

        • Cos yeah OB the needy clingons have super suck you dry capacity that’s why you feel sucked dry because you are….they are bottomless pits of neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed …and they hate hate hate to be denied a feed.

          This is the sort of thing that makes or breaks a friendship for me, mutual respect of each other’s happiness, active listening, and building each other up, and or building by respecting the need for aloneness, as much as the odd d&m….

          I’ve had this happen in the past and realised that sometimes I’ve set up situations where people feel this is their right….to feed. I’ve been a little too compassionate, or a little too open in the moment… and they want to continue beyond the moment. . Get behind me emotional vampires…I see through your laughing charm.I say hell no to your nagging demands.

  11. I forgive pretty much everything (it only really rattles me if it puts my life in danger, and since that barely ever happens, i let most stuff go). Most people hurt themselves more than they hurt you when they do something ‘wrong’ anyway. I don’t care what people do as long as they are honest with themselves about it.

    Passive aggressiveness and relentless negativity boil my blood though.

    • oh god fishgirl, i cant stand unabating negativity either. i remember mystic wrote about saggi’s aversion to ‘negativity’ in her sun signs book, and it was so apt that i try to not use/over-use that word too much now when annoyed with others behaviour!

  12. Über Virgo on February 5, 2009 at 2:11 pm
    Anything I could have done myself

    and that too.

  13. I’m a cap and I don’t forgive much. I always remember it – but for the sake of pleasantries, I tend to superficially accept the apologies – providing there is one!

    Having said that, as long as someone is willing to accept responsibility and apologise – and never do it again – I tend to be okay. I just remember that I screw up too and need forgiveness for genuine f-ups.

    But repeat offenders, excuses, blame games, GRRRRRR!!!

  14. I can easily forgive when someone’s actions match their words of apology.

    I particularly like Melanie’s ‘genuine, wholehearted, specific and humble’ mini manifesto. I’m pretty generous with forgiving…unless the person asking forgiveness is a quibbler, or I’m receiving an overdone apology from a repeat offender.

    Quibblers and repeat offenders unleash the scorp moon response.

    In time I find ‘passive aggressiveness and relentless negativity’ enraging…I do give people a certain amount of rope to play with before the boiling point is reached though.

  15. ….someone who’s grandmother got hit by a helicopter & as they tried to save her they fell in a pond, drowning their phone – hence were utterly unable to respond to more than 1 mssg cos they cldnt!

    whilst home over xmas there was much discussion centred on frustrations at those who wont or dont return calls.

    gfrnd moving house sought access to frnds garage for white goods. nil reply. & Nil white goods over Xmas (!!), or nil reply to invitations for lunch / soiree etc. these are repeat call / non reply offenders who shant be forgiven. unless helicopteresque sequence is in play. & whats with those who wont respond when one’s wanting to return borrowed possessions …. did their mothers not define “courtesy” or “manners”??

    • People not responding when you want to return borrowed possessions? That’s so weird!

      You should just send a text:

      Having bonfire. Very cleansing. Want your stuff back or not?

      • “hi thanks for the loan of the booster seat when my sis / neice were here on weekend!! knowing how much yr 9 yr old still loves to sit in it – given yr non reply, it’s been left on the front lawn & now gone, most likely to combi driving hippies”

        is that the tone Buckle?

        or “dear 20-something, such a shame you really didnt think I’d bar yr head, but really, nothing was ever going to happen other than a group of people hang out in my gracious hospitality. about yr designer hoodies you left behind – you didnt respond so I gave them to the homeless man in the park. he looks good in them & never takes them off!”

    • yes these people are like energy misers – they won’t share themselves. It’s the ones who accept invitations, you buy and prepare food for them and they don’t turn up – very rude. Libra.

  16. as a twin i find it easiest to forgive myself! as there is usually such conflict going on inwardly i often need to do this!

    i find it quite difficult to truly forgive others and match my gemini friend diamond above in that i often keep it stored to whack someone over the head with later on…. although this is a trait i am working hard at to remove from my life!

  17. Things I can forgive:
    *anything that I know I’ve been guilty of in the past (particularly lateness)
    *the bringing of cask wine, bad music, compound chocolate, or polyester furnishings & napery into my house

    Things I absolutely cannot forgive:
    *bad manners / poor etiquette
    *betrayal

    • Betrayal!
      That’s the one that messes with my inner-ear. For sure. Can’t understand it.

      • buckle i just got a little goosebump-ling when you said it messes with your inner ear. was it just a turn of phrase or have you had problems with said ear and found its cause was emotional based (ala Louise Hay, Caroline Myss etc)? and were able to heal it?

  18. oops! the bringing of cask wine etc was supposed to be in the “cannot forgive column” – what sort of Taurus would I be if I could forgive those cardinal sins!

  19. I detect that Leos like people to have good manners and what my mother called “common courtesy”.

    Anyone else noticing patterns?

    Tossing a cat among pigeons…..
    Would Virgos forgive a linen closet with unfolded sheets overflowing and falling out? Would Scorpios forgive a lack of libido or imagination between the sheets? Would Capricorns forgive a total inability to save and be prudent with money? Would Sagitarians forgive an inability to be playful and childlike? Would Cancerians forgive someone who hated, just hated to spend time at home? Can a Leo forgive poor grooming or a massive fashion faux pas?

    Tee, hee I am amusing myself. perhaps I should get some work done, non?

    • LOL. No i cannot forgive a lack of libido or imagination between the sheets.

      • OH GOD NO you can usually tell by their choice of manchester how it’s all going to pan out. Beige is an immediate alarm bell for me. Polar fleece blankets – wtf is THAT about? That’s a total no-fly zone that is. I’d rather do it in a sandpit than under the influence of polar fleece or beige.

        • I HATE FLUFFY FLANNY SHEETS!!!! This goat loves crisp white good cotton sheets smelling of sunshine, rose and lavender…mmmmmmmmmm

        • HAHAHAHA… i have venus in Libra and Mars in Virgo. You have no idea how important manchester is!!! I hate beige anything and sheets must be 100% cotton, preferably 300 thread count (at least! 250 is a bit scratchy), clean and fresh.

          I’m sure you have seen the french movie Amelie? You know how she takes great delight in slipping her hand in a bag of dried legumes? well i love to do that in the manchester department with the 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets *sigh*

          • my darling mother would buy unbleached heavy calico in whatever width she needed and make her own sheets, then wash and hang them in the sun till they were sunbleached. They would bleach snowy white. She would add embroidery, either white or pale pastel. I still have one pair of them. They lasted forever.

          • Amelie makes me feel replete, it’s such a feast – it’s important to acknowledge your tactile needs SR ;o)
            CC – THAT sheet of calico story is the best thing I’ve heard in ages. esp. the embroidery bit – I have pillow cases my great great grandmother embroidered. They are purple and green and I suspect she was a suffragette due to her colour palette. Did your mum also make floral carpets? I have a fascination for floral carpets – I sometimes dream of mad floral carpet pattern repeats – sweet william & pinks – totally femme and girly. I wonder if anyone does that anymore it’s kinda out of synch with the times and it’s too hot to grow flowers.

          • as there’s no reply thingy after you comment Orangeblos, I’ll reply here. No she wasn’t into floral carpets, she always had a english cottage garden with roses, flox, stocks, sweetpeas and snapdragons and all the flowers I still love.

            I have china and embroidery with the green, white and violet colour theme that belonged to my grandmother and think the same as you. Give women votes. I’m proud of her whispered rebellion. She was too much a lady to shout it.

          • Yes white cotton high thread count sheets, hung on line to dry so you can go to sleep smelling that gorgeous ozone-y smell. Mmmm

          • no one will read this as the comments are now well past this point and around the 200-mark now, but I am going to put this into cyberspace anyway. I have 1000 thread count sheets and they are thick, heavy and luxurious but a tad scratchy. I think they need another year of wash n wear to really start softening up…(nb I don’t use that stinky fragrance-laden fabric softener…)

      • So true, Scorpalicious. Such things are critical to the health and safety of all. Well, particularly to the tired dullard in bed who I’m about to hit with a teddy bear.

        Yes, that actually happened. I couldn’t help myself.

  20. Ms Motown – I think you’re on the right track with Virgos…..my virgo ex once gave me a set of sheets as a love-token! (fortunately they were high thread count, eygptian cotton, so our fetishes were working together on that one). And his linen closets were immaculate!

    • virgo taurus seems to be a good match
      from my experience anyway… our “fetishes” always seem to work together

  21. ‘honest’ mistakes. in fact they don’t even really require forgiveness because no ‘pain’ was intended.
    Stuff when i can recognise that it is more my interpretation of the ‘offence’ rather than the offence itself that has caused the pain – ie. i can rationalise the crime.

    what really bugs me is people who actively manipulate others and then feign all ignorance at their behaviour. Manipulation definitely gives me the ….

    yup – from a gemini.

    • My Aries mum was very good at reminding us to look at the intent of the person trangressing, when considering how to react.

      I have found this helps increase forgiveness.

  22. wow I did just click that I abhore people being bad with money, always borrowing it or sponging off others. SO you may be right about the cap thing.

    I can forgive easily people being overwhelmed and needing to bail on plans or in general people reacting with their egos or baggage within reason.

    I find meanness, agression and anger (raised voices) VERY hard to forgive, if I can at all.

    • Funny I was about to write that I always forgive those who have money troubles or who are unable to repay a financial debt. Money is far from sacred, and so easy to get into strife with.

      • yes yes david – too true – I was taught never to lend anyone money unless you can afford to GIVE it to them ie: a gift – you don’t tell them this of course, that would guarantee not getting it back – using that as your criteria means repayment comes as a pleasant surprise. Money – tide in, tide out – it comes, it goes.

      • hmm I guess I should have qualified that comment. Genuine misfortune or need is one thing but those that are just slimy users is another (and what I meant!).

        • Oh yes, kick em to the kerb asap SS. Slimy losers have no place in your world, they are not in tune with your harmonic – a dissonant chord.

  23. I can forgive anything but cruelty in all its forms….violence comes under this heading…..I overlook heaps of misdemeanours knowing that the perp will remain a social contact and not close friend

    • energy thieves – that’s what that is, the mailcious squasher – stealing someone’s power – which made me realise, I can’t abide people who steal.

  24. I consider myself a very forgiving person. Over the years, I’ve forgiven friends for heinous public ‘scenes’. And just last week I forgave a ‘man of interest’ for cancelling a date. But I will never, ever, ever forgive: Deliberate, calculated deception, cruelty to animals (or children), or people that smoke around food.

    I’m a Gem.

  25. its been a long road to the point where I’ll forgive anything and everything… well, actually since discovering that ‘there is no out there’ all forgiveness is self forgiveness, and that is SO easy to do. Its possible that I might find all that slightly more challenging if it were a crime against my children.

    In the past, as someone above wrote, I’d act all forgiving but really filed away the transgression for later mud-slinging during a volcanic taurean temper eruption.

  26. Pisces – other people’s mistakes, am just terrible with myself about my own though. However, if someone REALLY oversteps my mark, even I am surprised at the vengence I will wreck. Doesn’t happen very often though. Usually I just wipe them. It’s just easier.

  27. h,mmmmm, and manipulative people, yes. I don’t know how to fight back, because Mercury aries means I call a spade a spade. This only sets them (Manipulators) on a path of destruction that I know is occurring but don’t know how to counteract in the same way.

  28. I have no idea if this is typical of a Leo, but I can most easily forgive anyone with a reason for their bad behaviour that appeals to my ‘liberal bleeding heart’ .

  29. thinking about this, i think i forgive almost anybody, anything, quite quickly on the basis that they probably can’t really help themselves and who among us can judge though i would probably be very strident in critisism. is that a paradox?

      • i agree LL, i think you can be empathetic to what caused the action, while still being discerning enough to either a) remove yourself from the situation or at least b)expecting the person to take responsibility.

        i have learned through many occasions that you can forgive someone and still realise the act itself warrants attention, action, etc.

        and obviously im talking about the ‘big’ stuff here- infidelity, abuse etc – not being late for an appointment or having bad table manners!

        • O Saggigirl – that’s funny I just realised what you meant by strict adherence to ettiquette being pompous before – I would never even consider someone with bad table manners required my “forgiveness” – the manners are my problem – if they don’t have them and I don’t like it it’s my problem not theirs. I would just choose never to eat with them again if poss because I wouldn’t want to watch them masticate or have their food sprayed at me while they talked with their mouth full. I’d remove myself from whatever it was that bothered me. I’d never dream of forcing my own upbringing and manners on them.

          • ha, yes thats what i think too. i think manners, apart from your standard thanks you etc are a bit overrrated.
            so yes, etiquette can equal pomposity!

          • sorry guys, I think good manners and ettiquette are what separate us from the rabble and see one through any social situation and sort of doesn’t come into what’s forgivable or not. But huge gaffs on formal occasions can be embarrassing for the gaffee.

          • :o) we are all someone else’s rabble tho CC, no matter how many airs and graces we have learned. I have some quite victorian manner things from my upbringing but I don’t feel for myself (can’t speak for anyone else) that it is fair or right to for me to believe I am above someone else because I know what an oyster fork looks like. In situations where someone else’s actions (if they weren’t big ticket ones like deliberate meanness or racism) weren’t aligned with mine, say as in table manners but I liked them for other reasons I would simply choose never to eat with them. Table manners is a cultural thing and we’re not all from the same culture and I don’t believe any one culture – or the prevailing culture – is necessarily the “right” culture.

  30. Hello – I love that you’re all commenting so wonderfully! It makes me look popular!
    Okay, i am actually a bit odd as regards this question…I find it terribly easy to forgive people for moral transgressions that involve love or a romantic form of lust…What infuriates me (and I know i said this is sun signs but i think this is mars-pluto-uranus in virgo talking) is when people grizzle a LOT re something and will not do a thing about it, apparently. I’ll forgive them but i’ll avoid them.
    God i sound boring!!!!

    • that sounds quite reasonable to Mystic – tres savvy not boring. I do it but let them know why – it’s a tough love divisive manouvre that usually causes either a total dissolution of friendship/acquaintance or a period of silence (sometimes lasting years) and then I or the phoenix will make contact and we get reacquainted. Reading that I realise it sounds like I try to make people change but I don’t – it’s their life to live, I just let them know I can’t go over the same ground with them more than a few times without getting REALLY bored. I find it hard to maintain relationships with peeps who get caught up and don’t learn to spot the patterns or adapt and grow.

      • There is no rule in my world where forgiveness means that I need to enable someone to continue to create more opportunities for forgiveness.

        I think for me this comes down to looking hard at whether I play a role in letting someone continue to do something that needs forgiving.

        I guess on a likert scale of forgiveness, where forgiveness is pretty much assured, (if action is taken that matches apology) people would get the easiest out if I felt they had erred because I hadn’t been clear in the first place that it was going to need forgiving.

      • O forgot to say I think this may be the mercury in scorpio – communicating about things that are below the surface?

        • Somehow blanking out knowledge of my own Scorp moon, I had a conversation with Taurean friend where we both talked about how some Scorps react and treat you according to what ever soundless, touchless wave of energy they interpret from you…and as this doesn’t get said out loud…you can only sense this may be the case…?

          I likened it to having a very vivid dream where someone you care about does something major…and it’s so vivid that the next day there are still traces of this dream and affect how you deal with them.

          Is that sort of the below the surface communication you’re talking about orangeblossom?

          • That is THE best way I have ever heard that explained – I know exactly what u mean by that kind of soundless touchless wave – and yes I do that – merc moon & venus in scorp – I have actually had dreams about people and treated them as if it had happened and then suddenly in the middle of it realised it was a dream – slammed the door in boyfriends face once because he’d slept with my friend in the dream – he didn’t know wtf was up. Turned out it HAD happened but before we were even interested in each other. I dreamed the ancient past tense. Also weird thing, once had a dream another boyfriend slept with a woman I felt uneasy around – couldn’t put finger on it and so just kept her at arms length without being rude, then dreamed she slept with my boyfriend. Fronted him about it demanding information, he denied and thought I was mad. 4-5 years later, different boyfriend, we had a “break” – I kicked him out because he was always drunk – and when we got back together he admitted to me he had slept with someone else – I said oh just as long as it wasn’t “insert name” and laughed because I had had the experience with the other boyfriend after the dream about her and bloody hell, he looked deathly white and said “how did you know who it was” she got there in the end bless her promiscuous heart.

            But strangely it wasn’t actually what I was referring to :o) I meant merc in scorp possibly making it easier to front peeps on the plutonian below the surface stuff and communicate about it easily.

          • i know exactly what you’re talking about LL. And you HAVE described it perfectly! I think it was something my sister was trying to articluate when she lost the plot about me not listening to her….. weird as she has moon in Scorp too!

            I’ve had many vivid dreams that have freaked peeps out and a few prophetic ones.

          • REALLY, that whole thing was because she had had a dream and was mixed up with that vs reality? Intense – I mean that she didn’t tell you at the time so you would know where it came from – no wonder you couldn’t work out wtf was up!

          • Even if I missed the mark regarding scorp in merc…and I find the possibilities interesting with that OB….I’m glad my take on scorpness made sense to you both.

            That whole conversation was triggered by watching a Scorp married couple have coffee in the sun. There was very little said, but also a lot said too. It made me think of sounds that most of us can’t hear…and I although I’ve used my explanation above…to get to it, I mentioned to the Taurean coffee friend that it’s like scorps operate by emotional sonar…ala the soundless touchless wave….and you can sometimes, if you watch closely with their body language see when they register information with this other sense.

            OB aren’t dreams helpful. Day-um for the links and time delays and interwoven whoa factor.

            SR I still get the feeling that argument had much more to do with what was going on her life, than you…and part of it could be her own internal struggle between a Leo sun and a Scorp moon…because she probably can sense somewhat how much you are reacting to the unseen…and possibly also has her own serving of hidden stuff…that she normally is able to mask with the SUN….(that can be a Leo defense mechanism…it’s hard for people to see your shadows if you’re looking too closely at the light) however that’s sort of hard to do around scorps.lol.

    • nah not boring….that gets my goat too….a wee grizzle’s ok but harping on with no action’s boring to the enth….but I forgive them and use diversionary tactics

    • Oh Mystic, I have pluto and uranus in virgo too and can’t stand that! When people complain on and on about something/someone I tell them that really they’re talking to the wrong person, because I can’t change it, they need to go to the person they’re complaining about etc

  31. i find it easy to forgive absence.

    but i never forgive or forget betrayal by a friend. I can still be friends with them but the friendship is irrevocably damaged and that person will never be as close to me again. in the past thats usually been around work or love. its usually about someone else being so massively narcissistic or ego driven that they become ruthless or selfish. yuck.

    aquarius

  32. Any action that reveals a lack of respect and contempt i find unforgivable. Injustice, cruelty and racism make my blood boil.

    • OOO yes the big 3 – but I find the reasons for them fascinating – what made the person behave that way? I always want to know what led to it. Sleuthing.

      • curiosity and an enquiring mind is always a good thing. I SO agree with you about getting bored when “peeps don’t learn to spot the patterns or adapt and grow” They walk around with blinkers on. I had a Gemini friend disappear after i told her why i was avoiding her. She WANTED to know and rather than wrap her up in cotton wool i thought the truth would make her grow – nope. She was shocked by my honesty and I haven’t heard from her since.

        • Have actually said to my girls often growing up, that I would prefer that they tell me a hard truth than an easy lie….they’ve also found out that the consequences to the truth are a lot less dire than a lie too.

  33. not much ! (relax all, a joke); Have realized it requires some though, I’ll get back to you …

  34. Any mistake, as long as your willing to WORK at it so you don’t do it again. I love anyone who makes an effort to better themselves.

  35. Aquarius

    People that stomp on others feelings by being too blunt and honest.
    People stuck in addiction.
    Humble people.

    Most difficult?
    People who behave like the me I don’t want to see ;-)

  36. Ah am a tres happy Sagg born Nov 24th.

    Hmmm…easiest to forgive? I guess we humans all have foibles. So i tend to forgive easily, so long as they are genunely contrite. After all I am not perfect! However when humans knowingly chose to be unkind, cruel etc? Now that I find hard to take. I would much rather people fess up, instead of pretending. As I encourage my wee trolls, tis far better to be in trouble for the moment, than be in double trouble for deception as well. The consequences are more for the latter.

    In regards to my Scorp partner….I tend to be more forgiving than I ever have in life before! However, this has paid off, as my stickability has made him more secure and open than ever before and he is truly working on himself to be more of a part of humankind than a lone ranger in a harsh world!

    What I find hard to forgive is cruelty to animals and nature of all sort, children the elderly etc…this makes me declare war
    on whoever does this.
    I realise such people have major inward woes but I have to battle to be understanding.

  37. Typos & grammatical errors.

    Forgetfulness/vagueness due to stress overload.

    Also will forgive a small child ANYTHING.

    • I totally concur, actually hadn’t mentioned it as it is such a blip on my radar… Also perhaps because I can understand typos, and grammatical errors, and vagueness due to stress overload only too well. The Virgo people in my life thank goodness give me some latitude…as I KNOW these things I find easy to forgive…really really grates on them. I also as much as possible forgive them their foibles too.

  38. Right. So NO, I do not find Bigamy easy to forgive. Just to be tres clear.

    And of course, the usual unspeakable things: murder, rape, pillage, child abuse, on and on.

    I would say though that when thinking about this question I realize that I probably engage in forgiveness more for my sake than any one else. It is in this sense a very selfish act for me. So needless to say, I probably journey towards a state of forgiveness and understand that it may take a while to get there.

    The most critical thing to me is to have made the decision to forgive as a first step. The rest is up to how everything plays out.

    I would just like to make the distinction though that forgiveness doesn’t mean losing one’s lucidity over your transgessor’s actions, motives and nature. After the initial searing incandescence of white hot anger, I like to find a place where I can NOT take what was done to me so personally, EVEN if in essence the effect is very much so.

    Because for one, this would imply that most every wrong done to me, I could have controlled, and that isn’t necessarily true in all cases. I suppose really I look at nature, my own and the other person’s. I want to own what I’m responsible for and let them own theirs.

    And I seriously would rather not fester about how I think what they did reflects on me or my self worth, and agree with Fishgirl, we hurt ourselves more than others when we engage in wrong doing.

    It’s then that I feel liberated to really explore what the event of pain (caused by whatever wrong) is really trying to tell me about myself, my life and what I am seeking. Of course, it’s not easy and pain can be so blinding that one can hardly think. But once you are aloft to a height of perspective, I think there’s value in the dialogue created by these wrongs, whether big or small, and how it helps one inhabit one’s self more fully.

    I hope I think that rather than seeing it as a single debilitating event or a series of wearying irritations, I can accept the emotions and let it transform me. This would be my ultimate pay off in forgiveness rather than a promise of another’s rehabilitation, I would focus on mine.

    It probably also helps to remember that at some point in my life, I’ve probably done or was capable of something near as awful as what I’ve been hurt with, so sad but true.

    • Every time! Have burned quite a few bridges, although not all personal. Really bad customer service gets this treatment too.

      Will forgive almost anything, except betrayal, hypocrisy and self.

  39. Easiest to forgive = a heartfelt confession of indiscretion ; the bravery of honesty. I reserve the right to delete you from my life if it happens again!
    i.e
    ” you fool me once, shame on you, you fool me twice, shame on me”

  40. Mystic! What do you say about all of this! Such honesty and such a huge response to such a small question. I haven’t had much of a chance to dwell on a truly good answer, but am gaining quite an insight into just how different we all are, when we can be honest without been seen.

  41. I’ve pondered this ever since Mystic posted the question. I think it’s difficult to say what you forgive easily because whatever the transgression is it is instantly forgiven and forgotten. We remember what we can’t forgive easily, not what we can. I instantly forgive all sorts of actions but really can’t list them.

  42. Admitted mistakes. If someone makes a mistake and acknowledges they have done so, I see no reason to forgive them immediately. Only when someone is too proud to admit they were wrong, or refuses to learn from their actions, am I made angrier than the incident itself.

  43. I’m a Sag.

    I had to think about this one. The one I tend to shrug off is people misbehaving in public and being embarrassed about it later – especially if they were a little under the influence. So what?! It was a bit of fun at the time.

  44. To forgive is divine,
    to forget is miraculous plus a lotta work.
    When around some negative types, i say to them first,
    ‘you can have a 5 minute whine’ but take no longer.
    When you hear the same ol same ol constantly, then it’s time to
    remove yourself from the energy of that person. Tough Love.
    There is a saying about stress..it occurs when the primal (yeah LL lizard or reptilian)
    part of our brain wants to kick the living shit outta someone & we politely don’t, because
    we are civilised.
    Change the thought & it changes the scenario & boggles the hell outta deliberate miscreants
    in your environment, home work anywhere where courtesy & consideration apply ie more than 1 person!

    Understanding for me is greater than forgiveness as it negates the need to (as much).
    We are supposed to talk about it instead. That often requires a 3rd party mediator.
    as some issues are often too delicate (throat chakra stuff ).The We Need To Talk inspires fear
    in men, women no. They love it.
    If you understand where the behaviour is coming from then what’s to forgive, wouldn’t
    that be judgmental?
    I joke with my Dentist…………..I need you coz of damage done biting the bullet.
    Same with my Physio……………My neck is tender-sore from turning the other cheek.
    When he gets to a certain stop on my spine, i growl, yell ouch & sheesh, as he finds
    & releases my anger.
    Yup Lou Lou Hays, le grande dame of heal thy self body had the idea. Caroline Myss really ran with it.
    Her Energy Anatomy is brill.
    In my work, i do a lot of forgiving of Men….my mantra ‘it’s not their fault’ repeated 20 times.
    IN all of the above, you have shown yourselves to be very wonderful & bigger than anything thrown at you.
    Remember though, that some things are unforgivable & we are 50% responsible just by being there.

    You may laugh at this but the first question i ask a person is “Why have you come to see me’?
    When they answer, i then ask, smiling, ‘Why have you REALLY come to see me’? It takes 5 mins before & after. With a woman, 30 mins before and after. What does that tell you. Empathy.
    It’s amazing what carte blanche that extra why gives people to communicate their truth.

    You all have beautiful natures & so wise.
    Scorpio’s are very insightful about this area & so honest.
    In the Goddess’s I trust,
    the others are forgiven:)…………………………………………….off to run cool water over my crown chakra
    & cleanse me of OPS & the last tail of the Serpents Breath that’s been upon us.
    The Spirit is willing, but the Flesh is floppy from the intense heat & not extending myself physically.

    Alchemist, no wonder you have been overwhelmed & ovulating from the fairygnomes of the
    the blue singlet workers. Your gynecology is right on & out there. Hot.
    Sex Alchemy for the Modern Man?
    That’s that Sol Sebastian’s heading in Living Now. My Aromacology is my aphrodisiac.
    (as i’m now becoming ancient & not yet able to mummify myself with Mhyrr.)My sexual energy has been donated to my Troops, as i call my Essential Oils, as i send them in before me:).
    Starting to sound like Caroline Myss. That reminds, me Lyn Andrew’s newsletter is on a bit (maybe she
    at the mo, about Mama Aborigines & the Quickening, which Stuart Wilde wrote the title book
    10 years ago………mmmm more esoteric thoughts than i thought possible. It was a blueprint on how the governments will cope with The Changes as it was all going to be very fast, whatever was changing.
    His other one was Winds of Change, which we in Adders are holding our breath for so as we can again.
    All this & not read MM & Co Ladies of Oz Mag yet & it’s 2pm. Blessed be, it’s ONLY 30deg INSIDE.
    Wild Wings in the Wind…….and the Moon’s gettin’ fuller. The Moon will be in Libra for 14th of Feb.

  45. May i say pardon pour le rave.
    Far too long. It’s the heat in the kitchen-study.
    Stream of conciousness at work.
    Forgive me.
    Water awaits & hols next Sat.

  46. i find it easiest to forgive…

    people speaking frankly, even if this is hurtfull.

    I just HATE passive agressive behaviour.

  47. So much depth and texture in all these posts….. days sitting with this notion of forgivness…a need to set myself free from so much past harshness a passage …. How to move to not waiting for anything….not wanting anything…disolving boundaires, ridgity that builds up around scaring…into no snare around ankle streching from way back there to here? How to set yourself free when the other can not-does not acknowledge pain inflicted? It some how cant be dependant on the other…can it?

  48. easiest to forgive:
    people being themselves (in a way that might upset others). human foibles. human weakness (maybe that’s just easier to understand – rather than requiring forgiveness)

    Hardest to forgive (or, forgive, but not forget):
    betrayal of confidence. pigheaded brutish behaviour symptomatic of mysoginy/race issues/etc.

  49. Easiest to forgive – stupid mistakes made by having too much on one’s plate at one time. Oversights. Lateness.

    Not so easy – consistent oversights, consistent lateness, consistent not having enough time / attention to take responsibility.

    Easiest to forgive – if someone actually asks for forgiveness / sounds sorry about it / regret. If they are genuinely shocked or surprised when they realise what they have done.

    Not easy at all – glib Sorry’s and especially where You have been greatly put out.

    I can forgive all kinds of deep, genuinely awful stuff if the person who did it is genuinely, genuinely sorry. But not respecting me (the Leo kicks in), whoa watch out man, I will become a fury flaming whirlwind.

  50. Add to the above: (having read a few posts now)

    Honesty can be very devastating. Easy to forgive in little things (“I don’t really feel like such and such”). Not always so easy in other things eg personal comments about YOU. Anyway.

    Easy Easy to forgive – etiquette schmetiquette, I love it when people go against the grain of what they are “meant to do”. As long as its not pointedly malicious.

    Very very very hard – because I simply don’t understand it – the passive aggressive evasion of truth, the making things difficult by “hints” rather than just being bloody direct. But then my cats do it and I can understand it (they do it to each other). I don’t like it done to me.

    Hard to forgive, the taking me and my good nature for granted, just one too many times.

    Boils down to respect yet again.

  51. I like Aqua Leo (Leo Sun)’s analysis…

    I think there is quite a lot of common ground between us all in regarding forgiveness. I have noticed that Virgo people, seem to have a high irritation/low forgiveness threshold with people’s scattiness. I’ve noticed this myself over the years watching Virgo behaviour.

    Makes me wonder how much our forgiveness or tolerance of our own flaws is influenced by sign forgiveness styles throughout our charts?

    Maybe this too much of a stretch? I’m hard on myself when I am scatty, sometimes too much so. Could this be because I’ve got Virgo positioned throughout my chart with a ruler in hand to ‘help’ straighten me right out ?

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  53. Way off topic, but I have this photo framed and hanging on a wall. Was delighted to see it here!